My poems

To Dad:

You can see the bruises on my flesh.
But can you see them in my heart?
you can see the tears in my eyes.
But can you see them in my soul?

I do not like who I am.
I do not like what I've become.
But for me the damage is done.
Once you forgot I was here.
The day you just didn't care.

Was this the plan all along,
To Watch me slowly die.
A young girl all alone
No one was ever there to hold.

Should I just give up?
Is it time to say goodbye?
Am I wasting your time
doesn't matter now
I have nothing else left to cry..

Stuck

what am i gonna do when i spend my whole 
life thinking of you,
When will I see
Your not everything,
theres more to me
Then dreaming constantly,
I don't see how
I got this feeling,
You hurt me, But I know your sorry
Is that why your stuck inside my head,
I'm not breathing without you, 
i'm trying to do without you.
your one of those people who don't give, But take.
The type that wants to forsake
and I know i should run, Cause your having too much fun
But something makes me wanna look back 
and strength is now what I lack
Cause I cant want you, But I do.
Something wrong, You help me through.
But I know what your like, 
and i'll get burnt playing with the fire,
But still your my desire...

.+.BrokEn.+.

If You and me could only be,
If You and I would stop wasting time.
If all the dreams, wishes and fears could stop.
And all our love would start from the top.
If all you wanted was my touch,
If all you needed was my trust.
If I was the only one,
If you could see I'm pleading on my knees..
If he wasn't in your eyes,
My feelings then would rise.
But I know what's inside.
He is your life,
So I will have to say goodbye.

.+.SadNess.+.

I could runaway
I could hide till the end..
I could make it right,
no more crying
watch me I'm in pain
This life is so vain
they give and take away
with no shame,
cauze they do it all day
were just here to get burnt
watch out your going to get hurt

¤.+.My secret.+.¤
happiness is a fairytale, crying is my sin, 
loves running from me, and darkness is within, tears streaming down my cheeks, 
watching blood rain down my arms 
my makeup to hide the red eyes from you, nobody knows my secret and death I don't fear, would you help me if I asked, u can't cause the Truth i have masked


¤Misery¤

Emptiness surrounds my mind
It's all right there yet I'm still blind, 
Clouds in my mind reflect my emotion 
Terrified of the changes all happening in slow motion,
So blissful as well as so sad Losing 
all the memories I once had, A mask covering my face
I feel all the hurting, All my faults punished by all the burning Wishes, dreams and prayers all melted away I try to escape from myself everyday ,How and when will my misery die, ..I cry.. and.. cry



¤Painful Love¤

Disrespects her and makes her cry, Hits her hard and tells her lies, Her face is sullen a face full of fear, Nothing can hold back this girls tears, Bruises on her body and face, Cuts all from a two inch blade, He says he loves her, To her it's all a blur for she believes there is no cure, As she leaves it left unsaid and lays with him in the sinful bed



¤Death¤

Death is creeping up beside me, chasing me down, waiting desperately for me to fall to the ground, Watching for one slip to move in and take me out, I can't hide there's no where to go ,No one hears my screams, No one sees my tears, No one can feel my fear, The voices inside say it's time to say goodbye, Time to stop running, I'm not ready to go, I'm not ready to die, Just give me one more try, Leave me alone! Get out of my head! This can't be the end, I feel my body fall apart, slowly torn, I'm aching to live, But I have nothing to give, I'm useless now, Trapped where I can't be found..



¤Agony¤

mystic and deep, Too complicated to seek, Dusty and mournful life seems un joyful, Mysterious voices puzzling sounds weakness self pity ...I'm feeling the pain of deaths terrible gain, Hidden behind shadows, the black void controls me I dreaming the dark I'm falling apart...



¤Kissing the enemy¤

once again ,her soul weakens by his words, Lustful passion, obscene pleasure, She's kissing her enemy, she can't see his lies, The dark behind his blank eyes, Have her hypnotized, avoiding his evil stare, she lets his hands take control, She's kissing the enemy and doesn't even know.. 



¤Unclean¤

I wasn't ready now I'm unclean, minds gone blank, face unseen, use me like a toy, cut me w/ a knife break me apart, and keep your life, I walk with a smile, hiding the frown, You can never see behind this lie which I've found, he doesn't know the pain he put me through, my life's been corrupted all cause of you



¤Love and Lies¤

I've been corrupted, soul feels empty, hearts been damaged, yet your still there, telling me the same lies, tell me why do you do this to me, just set me free and don't come back to me, suffering from you, dying of thirst for you, I want you, but your killing me slowly. I die..

¤Escape¤

I'm done with you, through with your ways, You put me down to keep me around, I'm not yours anymore, Thought I couldn't unlock these chains, I broke free, but my mind still screams , I remember sitting there in that black room drinking the salt water from my eyes, A never ending nightmare, you failed your mission to kill me, cause I've been found, walk the earth alone, cause i went home


Dead Dreams..
So many things left un said
Even though i wished you were dead
so many thoughts screaming in my mind
Even though you took all my time
so many years, just went by
Even though most of them i cried
So many tissues, dried up all my pain
Even though ill never be the same.

2003 Shawna