"Ehhhh?" Hashiru, Tomas and Min all sweatdropped as they stared at the steaming hot dessert Ranma was holding up.

"That's right. Pie! Since threat of punishment doesn't seem to work as well as I'd like, I've decided to use a reward system instead!" Ranma explained, nodding as he continued holding the pie aloft. "So who wants pie? Huh? Huh?"

"I could live without it," Tomas mumbled tiredly, pulling his cap down over his eyes.

"Depends what kind it is," Hashiru offered, shrugging noncommittally.

"Why pie and not cake?" Min muttered, frowning.

A vein popped up on Ranma's head. "What if I said you're not getting any other dinner tonight?"

The other three martial artists flinched. "Wh-What?!"

"That's unfair! You said you were using a reward system!" Tomas declared, standing up and clenching a fist before him.

"Am I or am I NOT holding a pie?!" Ranma shouted back. "Now line up already!"

After some muffled grumbling, the other martial artists got in a line before their trainer, standing at attention.

"A critical part of martial arts involves training not the body, but rather the mind!" Ranma barked, pacing back and forth in front of the others.

"Oh, are we doing meditations today?" Min asked hopefully. It would be a nice change of pace from being beaten and otherwise abused to within an inch of her life.

"I was going to do something like that, yes," Ranma said, stopping as he rubbed his chin. "But then I realized that I'd have no way to declare a winner to award the pie. I mean, what, am I gonna judge how clear your mind is or something? That's stupid."

"Well, the flow of ki could-" Tomas began before Ranma planted a foot in his face.

"Yes, it's stupid, I know," Ranma clarified, putting his leg down as the American boy rubbed his nose. "So instead of meditations, we're going to have a quiz!"

"A quiz," Hashiru deadpanned. "And this is supposed to be LESS stupid than meditation."

Ranma shot the brawler an annoyed look, and then stepped in front of him. "Well, since Mr. Rough n' Tumble Rich Boy here thinks he's so smart, we'll start with him!"

The pigtailed boy cleared his throat as Hashiru sighed, accepting his fate. "First question! Who's your favorite old tournament fighter? We're talking the 90's, here."

"Eh?" Hashiru frowned at the absurd question, being fairly certain that a quiz was supposed to test knowledge of facts, not gather opinions. "Hmm. Well, that's an easy one. Mai Shiranui." He flashed Min a thumbs-up as he said this, prompting the Ninja girl to roll her eyes.

"WRONG!" Ranma suddenly shouted, much to Hashiru's surprise and confusion. "The correct answer was 'Iori Yagami'."

"What? You just wanted me to praise your old man?"

Ranma frowned. "Well, I guess I would've accepted Ryuuji Yamazaki too..."

"WHAT? I hate my dad!" Hashiru shouted angrily.

"Oh. You do?" Ranma asked. "Sorry, I probably should've known that. It's just that your character is so shallow and predictable, it's hard to really care about your backstory."

Ranma immediately moved on to Tomas, leaving Hashiru fuming angrily behind him. "Tomas! Second question! What is the approximate carrying capacity of a fifteen pound piglet?"

Tomas sweatdropped. "What's with these questions? And why are you using pounds instead of kilograms?"

"I don't know; why is this text written in English instead of Japanese?" Ranma asked snidely. "Answer the question."

"Uhm... ten pounds?" The American asked, shrugging.

Ranma quickly turned around, and then raced off through the trees.

After a few seconds, he stopped on the edge of a clearing, peeking over the bushes to view what lay beyond.

Krrrrrk! "Bwee!" Krrrrrk! Ryoga made several aggravated pig noises as he tugged hard on the chain around his neck, which was itself connected to a small boulder roughly ten times his side that he was dragging through the dirt behind him. A fairly long divot had already been dug through the dirt from his progress, and with each exertion the piglet dragged his load a bit further.

Ranma quickly ran back to the confused martial artists, and then shook his head. "Feh. Not even CLOSE."

Leaving Tomas to puzzle over that, Ranma moved on to Min. "This should be simple for you Min. What's the command input for your kagerou no mai attack?"

Min raised an eyebrow. "What? Command input? You mean, how do I do it? Well, you have to focus ki in the hands first, and then contact-"

"Wrong," Ranma said, looking quite disappointed. "It's charge down, then up plus kick. Geez, you should know this stuff!"

As Min's eyebrow twitched, he walked up to a tree past Min. "Hey, Ninja Guy! Get out here!"

"Yes?" Raven asked hesitantly, leaping down from the branches above. "What do you require?"

"If the quantity X plus 12 and divided by 3 is equal to 2 times the quantity X minus 8, what is the value of X?" Ranma said quickly, a smirk crossing his features.

Raven stared for several seconds. "Hmmm... twelve."

Ranma stared back for a moment before his expression soured. "You didn't show your work! No pie for you!"

"Ranma, do YOU want to eat the pie?" Min finally asked, rubbing her head.

"Well, it seems like I'll HAVE to eat it now! None of you even came close to the right answer!" Ranma complained, a little bit of drool coming from the corner of his mouth.

"But I got the right ans-" Raven flinched back mid-sentence as a yellowish gleam appeared in Ranma's eyes, and he quickly backpedalled. "I mean, Yagami clearly deserves the reward after having to suffer our repeated failures."

"That's what I'm saying!" Ranma said as he took out a knife and started cutting into the dessert. "Sorry guys, you're just not awesome enough for pie."

"Oh, just shut up and eat," Min said, sighing as the pigtailed man dug into his "reward".

"Wait, are we still not getting dinner?" Tomas asked nervously.

Hashiru gave a generic thumbs-up. "Well, enough of this, let's get to the real deal, shall we?"

"Lord Hashiru, who are you talking to?"



Yagami 1/2
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters crossover
by Black Dragon

Disclaimer: Man, being unemployed is good for my writing progress...

Notes: Sounds, Emphasis or techniques, 'Thoughts', "Dialogue"

Chapter 19
Burning Earth

***********************************************************************

"Geez! What a mess!" Akane grumbled as she moved through the living room, stepping over empty bottles and take-out boxes scattered across the floor.

Nabiki shook her head as she stepped through after her sister. "Can't be helped. Not with that old creep hanging around and Kasumi out of the house." Nabiki didn't bother with stepping over the trash, simply stepping on the discarded articles or kicking them aside before she sat down at the table.

Akane took a moment to direct a withering glare down the hall, where she could barely make out the sound of an old, creaky voice singing happily. "Why doesn't Dad just kick him out, already?"

"Akane, you've kicked him out, literally, at least a dozen times so far. All it does is damage the house and give us a few minutes of peace. What do you think Daddy can do?"

"Can't he call the police or something?" the youngest Tendo asked, kicking away a sake bottle before sitting down across from Nabiki.

"You know that the police in Nerima aren't worth jack. Frankly, I'm impressed that Daddy sent Kasumi away to stay with aunt Moka across the city. I thought for sure he'd be more afraid of living without her than having her molested." Nabiki mumbled, taking out some books.

"Ho ho ho! Hello, girlies!" Shouted a joyfully lecherous voice as a certain panty-thieving martial arts master skipped into the living room. "How are we this fine morning?"

"We were much better before you appeared," Akane mumbled. "Also, what is with this room? Clean up after yourself!"

Happousai pouted as he bounced up onto the table in front of Akane. "What kind of thing is that to say to an honored guest? It's not like Soun cleans up his part, either!"

Akane clenched her teeth irritably as the aforementioned head of the Tendo household (officially, anyway) emerged from the kitchen, a stack of hot toast piled onto a plate.

"Ah, everyone's ready then! Let's eat!" Soun said happily, his voice cracking only slightly as he stepped over a puddle of sake that still hadn't evaporated from the previous night.

Akane sighed. "Toast again today?"

"What's the matter? I thought you were fine with toast," the Tendo patriarch said as he set the plate down on the table.

"But we've had it every morning since Kasumi left," Akane complained wearily.

"Well, it's cheap, fast, and easy to make, so even Daddy can get it right," Nabiki said, shrugging. "I mean, sure, we've been spoiled by Kasumi's food for a long time, but you have to recognize Daddy's limitations."

"That's why I said I'd make breakfast in the mornings!" Akane protested.

"And we refused," Nabiki deadpanned, "because you can't even manage decent toast."

"That's not true!" Akane protested. "It's just that the toaster always seems to go screwy when I'm making toast!"

"That's because you're supposed to put the spread topping on AFTER it's toasted," Nabiki snapped.

"What? How does that make a difference?"

Soun cleared his throat loudly as he took his piece of toast. "Now, now, everyone just calm down, please! Let's not start arguing first thing in the morning!"

"Yes, yes, sisters should get along, after all!" Happousai cackled, waiting until Soun had spread some butter on his own slice, and then taking Soun's toast right off his plate. "Ah, thank you Soun!"

A tear squeezed out of the corner of the eldest Tendo's eye as he nodded forlornly, taking another piece of breakfast.

"So. Happousai," Nabiki began, taking her own toast and taking up some jelly spread, "why is it that you're staying here, again? I mean, do you have anything to DO in Nerima, aside from underwear theft?"

Happousai took a bite of his toast and then looked up at the ceiling, his expression serious. "Actually, I do. You see, I intend to declare my heir and formally hand down the title of Grandmaster of the Anything-Goes school of martial arts!"

"Huh. Okay. So what's the hold-up?" Akane asked, genuinely surprised that the old pervert had any intentions beyond collecting women's underwear. "Does Dad need extra training or anything?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Happousai scoffed, swallowing the last of his toast. "This fool is barely good for making breakfast! There's no way I'd make him heir!"

"What?" Akane asked, surprised. "Then... me?"

"I'm not going to dignify that with an answer," Happousai deadpanned, crossing his arms over his chest as Akane's face darkened.

"Ah, but then..." Soun frowned as he considered the subject. "You said that Saotome is no good, so that just leaves... Yagami? You're going to make Iori the heir?" He couldn't help but feel a great deal of relief at hearing that he would not be responsible for passing on Happousai's art.

"Close," Happousai said. "Iori... isn't the right type to carry on Anything-Goes. He's all raw power and cold ruthlessness. He isn't devoted to the art so much as he wants enough power to accomplish his goals. Not to mention he threatened to kill me if he ever saw me again."

"Yeah, I can see how that last bit might be a problem," Nabiki deadpanned.

"No, the one I have in mind is the son, Ranma." Happousai took another piece of toast from Soun's plate as the taller man finished buttering it, and took a quick bite before continuing. "He's young, and far more devoted to the art than Iori was. He's also got guts, unlike you and Genma. But most importantly..."

The Tendos sweatdropped as Happousai grinned disturbingly.

"Most importantly, his girlfriend has a world-class rack!" Happousai said jovially. "She could smother a man to death with those sweater kittens!"

Nabiki promptly flinched. When one mentioned breast size, one girl in particular always sprung to mind. "You mean Bogard? Since when was she his girlfriend?"

"I dunno the details, but last time I saw the little punk, she was right there with 'im, and it didn't seem like they were just walking home from school, if you know what I mean," Happousai chuckled lightly, and then his expression became more serious. "But that's beside the point. This Ranma kid's got what it takes. The only problem is he's got quite a bit more spine than he really needs."

"How much spine is just enough, then?" Akane asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Somewhere in the zone between your father's 'wet noodle' and his father's 'steel I-beam'," the old master mumbled, rubbing his chin. "He needs to have guts to take on the training, but can't have the guts to quit."

Akane's other eyebrow rose. "Why would it take more guts to quit the training than complete it?"

Soun sighed. "As dangerous as the advanced Anything-Goes training is, opposing the Master is far more perilous endeavor. To date, me, Genma and Iori are the only ones I'm aware of to have quit the training without being permanently injured or imprisoned."

"Wait..." Nabiki frowned. "Injured or... imprisoned?"

"Naturally such harsh and exotic training isn't always sanctioned by the narrow-minded fools that make this country's laws!" Happousai said regretfully.

"Plus, there's all the stealing," Soun added, sounding just as regretful.

"I think I'm starting to get a pretty good idea of why Dad didn't complete his training," Akane deadpanned. "So you want Ranma to do it, right? How do you figure that's going to happen?"

Happousai chuckled darkly. "Well now... for that, I have a secret weapon for drawing out Yagami. The Tendo-Yagami marriage arrangement!"

Nabiki's expression soured. "Yeah... hate to tell you, gramps, but that thing sort of fell through already."

"Well, I wouldn't say that, exactly," Soun countered, his stubborness emerging. "Er, it's more like, well, like we haven't really made any progress on the matter."

"Dad, he has a girlfriend now. I think it's best to leave well enough alone," Akane protested, wanting to finish the subject. She was quite happy that Ranma was out of her house and out of her life, but if the conversation kept going in this direction...

"That's a trivial concern, really," Happousai said, cackling as he pulled something out from behind his back. "You see, I have THIS!" the tiny old man brandished a rolled-up scrap of paper, holding it up as it slowly unrolled itself.

Nabiki leaned forward, her eyebrows rising as she skimmed over the document. "Wait... what? This is..." She glanced at Soun, who was scratching his head in confusion. "Daddy, was the engagement to the Yagami family a strictly verbal contract?"

"Hm? What do you mean?" Soun asked, drinking some tea. He was curious as to what the document said, but thought it best that Nabiki finished with it first.

"Did you just SAY that you were going to join the families, or did you actually write it down and sign it?" Nabiki asked calmly.

"Oh, we never bothered with that," Soun insisted. "It was a promise between men and comrades, Nabiki. That bond of honor is as worthy and iron-clad as any deal on paper!"

"Well, luckily, not everyone is so stupid and naive," Happousai scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I found that document in Genma's place after I raided it for cash and booze. It looks like at least one of you put some actual thought into the future instead of twiddling your thumbs and waiting for everything to fall into place!"

Soun frowned. "What are you talking about? What is that?"

"This is a contract formalizing the engagement," Nabiki said in a carefully neutral tone. "It says that once any sons and daughters of the Tendo, Saotome, and Yagami families reach marriagable age, they'll be wed immediately to facilitate the joining of the Anything-Goes schools... among other things."

"Huh? You're kidding me!" Akane shouted in disbelief. "Dad, you actually signed a contract and everything?"

"No, he didn't," Nabiki said immediately, not giving Soun a chance to search his memory. "On that note, tell me Grandpa, did you forge these signatures at the bottom, or did Mister Saotome do it?"

"That was Genma's work, I imagine. Either that, or Soun and Iori were wasted off their rockers when they signed it!" Happousai confirmed, cackling. "But seriously, this is all Genma's work."

"I... I don't understand..." Soun mumbled, scratching his head. "Why would Saotome do this? He doesn't even have any children, does he?"

"Geez Daddy, use your head," Nabiki sighed. "Uncle Genma is pretty much penniless, right? No money, no family, no retirement, and no future. This contract would not only make the union more ironclad - or it would if not for the forged signatures - but it also guarantees the family dojo as a dowry."

"Eh?" Soun raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Namely, if Uncle Genma DID manage to have a child, then he could use this to seal the deal," Nabiki explained further, "and suddenly, poof, he has a nice big house and dojo to help him through his golden years. Even if he had a daughter, given that he's the only one out of the three families that doesn't have a dojo, he's got nothing to lose and everything to gain."

"Ha! That's Nabiki for you! Sharp as ever!" Happousai crowed.

"What I don't understand is how this changes anything," Nabiki said, tossing the contract onto the table. "There's no way in hell anybody in the Yagami family will buy this farce, and it won't survive the courts, either. How is this scrap of paper going to be any more convincing than Daddy's whining?"

"You leave that part to me!" Happousai said, tapping the signature line of the contract as he turned to Soun. "For now, I need you to sign this for real; this chicken scratch of Genma's won't fool anyone!"

Soun frowned, but sighed and relented, taking out a pen and signing his name. "I don't really mind, as I want to join the schools anyway, but... what exactly are you planning, Master?"

"What I'm planning is to get that brat away from Iori and back here," Happousai snapped. "You don't need to know more than that." Then he frowned. "What you DO need to know is that even family honor and the law itself won't keep someone of Ranma's caliber tied down for long. We need more than just promises and hopes to make this work!"

"And what would that be?" Soun asked curiously.

"What're you, stupid?" Happousai shouted, shaking a tiny fist at his student. "You fool! There's only one thing that can keep a world-class martial arts champion in one place for long! It's the same thing that made you settle down, and even threw the mighty Iori off of that silly revenge kick against that Kusanagi guy!"

Happousai grinned. "We need to have a woman here waiting for him!"

"It doesn't seem like Ranma has any shortage of girls," Nabiki drawled, "what did you have in mind?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just make the sap feel welcome and treat him well, you know?" Somehow Akane got a bizarre feeling that Happousai was directing this request at her.

"If Ranma wants to leave, he'll leave, and I'm not sure I can stop him," Happousai admitted grudgingly, "so give him a decent reason to stay, and he'll stick around, either out of love, lust, or, failing everything else, guilt."

"Well, you can count me OUT," Akane said bluntly, standing up as she picked up her plate. "This whole idea stinks, and I sure don't want to be the one that has to put up with that pervert."

"On that note, what incentive does Ranma's 'blushing-bride-to-be' have to take part in this charade?" Nabiki asked as Akane entered the kitchen. "I mean, putting aside what we actually think of Ranma himself, you essentially want one of us to seduce him into staying here and putting up with your abuse under a totally bogus contract. Whether we like him or hate him, it's not that appealing, you know?"

"Ah... but Nabiki..." Soun said timidly, already beginning to flounder. Before he could say anything else, however, Happousai raised his palm to silence the larger man.

"My dear, whoever marries Ranma will have partial ownership of this house and dojo! A nice investment to have handed to you on a silver platter, eh?" The old lecher said, grinning.

Nabiki snorted. "Yeah, that's fine, but it's an awfully long-term benefit of a serious, lifelong commitment. You'll have to do better than that, especially with me; I don't plan on living the part of a timid housewife. If I don't have a house, I'll just buy one."

Soun's face turned stern. "That aside, this is a matter of family honor, Nabiki! On our family name, the Tendo and Yagami families must be joined!"

"Right. Honor. That and fifty yen will get you an apple down the street," Nabiki scoffed. "Besides, don't preach honor to me when we're discussing fraud, Daddy."

Soun wilted and Happousai frowned. After a few seconds, the diminutive old master finally shrugged.

"Well, if it comes down to that, I suppose you'll do it because the brainwashing is unpleasant and has some nasty side-effects," Happousai admitted, taking a puff on his pipe.

Nabiki's bored demeanor cracked slightly as her eye twitched. "Brainwashing?"

"Oh, Master, please, not that again!" Soun said as he started to sweat. "It took me months to relearn basic subtraction! And last I heard, Saotome STILL suffers paralysis every time he hears a gong!"

Nabiki's face darkened considerably.

"Still, if it's the only way..." Happousai mumbled, sighing. "Hmmm... I heard that there were some Amazons in the area. I think they might have something better than my usual technique. I don't want to cause any damage..."

"Well, you know, I guess it wouldn't be too bad to marry the poor sap," Nabiki said, trying to sound casual even as her pale face betrayed her emotions. "After all, with that curse of his, he's gotta be having trouble, right? And it's not like the paper contract is anything more than a formality, since the verbal one has already been confirmed..."

She continued rattling off rationalizations as she fought off the dread clawing at her stomach. Happousai was shallow, stupid, and foolhardy, but extremely dangerous, especially with his casual disregard for everyone but himself. More to the point, there was no one in the Tendo household that could stand up to the little old geezer; she couldn't count on her father to oppose his old master, and she couldn't count on Akane for more than a brief respite from Happousai's machinations. Actually, she couldn't really even count on that much; she had a powerful hunch that Happousai could evade her little sister easily if his focus was on something other than Akane's cleavage.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that!" Soun said happily, relieved that Nabiki wouldn't have to suffer any of Happousai's amateur hypnosis. "After all, joining the schools is for the best, don't you think? And I'm sure Ranma will take very well to the training!"

"I'm sure he'll whine and kick up a fuss the whole time, but he'll thank me when it's over!" Happousai said confidently, giving Soun a thumbs-up.

"Heh heh... yeah..." Nabiki chuckled weakly as she turned away from the pair. "I think I'm going to be ill..." she mumbled under her breath.

"What was that, Nabiki?" Soun asked.

"I said 'the kitchen's on fire'."

FWOOOM!! "Ow! Stupid toaster!" Akane shouted angrily as a shower of sparks threatened to ignite her shirt.

"Akane! Hold on!" Soun shouted in a panic, dashing in after his daughter.

Nabiki sighed and stood up, ignoring the sounds of crashing pots and pans and the splash of water coming from the kitchen. "Well, this has been a fantastic way to start my Sunday. I'm going back to bed."

"Right after breakfast? My, kids today have no energy," Happousai mumbled as Nabiki ascended the stairs to her room. "Tsk! I'll bet Ranma's the same way, you know. Wasting away his weekend slacking off and messing around! Teenagers are all the same!"

"Three hundred and twelve - huff! - three hundred and thirteen - huff! - three hundred and fourteen - huff!" Ranma's breath came in short, measured bursts as he did one-handed push-ups in front of the camp fire, switching arms every once in a while.

"So if this Hibiki guy is such a nemesis of yours, how come none of us have ever heard of him?" Hashiru asked as he did his own push-ups on the other side of the fire. Unlike Ranma, he did his sets with his right arm exclusively - the other was, naturally, in his pocket - and he also had Min sitting on his back for extra weight, though not by any choice of his own.

"I've seen him once, I think," Tomas mumbled. "What's his problem with you, exactly?"

"Eh, we - huff! - go way back - huff! - but in a bad way - huff! - I guess - huff! - three hundred and thirty - huff! - oh, right, also - huff! - I almost killed him - huff! - for freaking out Yurumi - huff!"

"Is he any good?" Min asked, happily squatting on Hashiru's broad, muscular back as the brawler grunted periodically in annoyance.

"He's not - huff! - a wimp," Ranma answered non-committally. "But he shouldn't - huff! - be a problem. Just a - huff! - little show before we - huff! - go home, right?" He gave a final push as he regained his footing, and then turned toward Tomas. "Breakfast ready?"

"Yeah, I've got it," Tomas mumbled, pouring some water into cups of instant miso. "Let's just get this over with, all right? I want to get home and see Doc Tofu. I think half my skeleton needs to be re-aligned."

"Maybe Ranma could fix you up," Min said, finally getting off of Hashiru's back to take her breakfast. "He seems pretty knowledgeable about that stuff, and he's REALLY good with his hands."

Tomas and Hashiru immediately snapped their heads toward Min, and spent a moment staring at her with raised eyebrows.

"What? What'd I say?" Min asked, confused.

"I think I'll stick to the doctor," Tomas mumbled as he handed Hashiru his cup. "I don't know where Ranma's hands have been..."

"Never mind that!" Ranma said quickly, keenly aware of the suspicious glances the other boys were giving him. "Let's hurry up! Every minute I wait is a chance for Ryoga to get lost!"

Without allowing further discussion, Ranma gulped down his breakfast miso and then held the cup aloft as he wiped his mouth.

Fwoof! A blast of purple reduced the cup to foul-smelling smoke and a few strands of ash, and Ranma grinned as he stood up. "All right, let's do this."

"Thanks for keeping an eye on him, Ninja Guy," Ranma said pleasantly as he stepped into the clearing, giving Raven a thumbs-up.

"I still don't see what the point is; if we didn't have him here keeping an eye on your opponent, we could have had a better breakfast than instant soup," Hashiru complained as he, Tomas, and Min stood at the periphery of the battlefield.

"As strange as it sounds, I believe Lord Yagami made the right decision," the servant Ninja mumbled. "In his effort to relieve himself, Hibiki almost left the forest twice, and once almost fell off a cliff."

Min raised an eyebrow. "But the only cliffs are on the mountain."

"I've had a very long morning."


Ryoga slowly stood up, his face locked in an expression of contemptuous loathing. "Are you done mocking me yet? I have places to go after I've finished grounding you to a pulp, Ranma!"

"Well, if you tell the Ninja guy where those places are, then maybe we can haul your unconscious body there for ya," Ranma taunted, cracking his knuckles.

Ryoga's eye twitched in annoyance. Not so much at the taunt, which was to be expected of his foolish nemesis, but rather that Ranma's insulting suggestion was actually a good idea, as he couldn't really find his way back to Nerima on his own whether he won or lost. Of course, he couldn't say that NOW.

"Why... don't... you... just... DIE!!"


Ranma immediately flinched back at the last word, as if Ryoga's unreasonable request had hit him with tangible force.

Wham! Ryoga's fist DID hit with tangible force, and Ranma was flung away as the lost boy landed the first hit in the fight.

'It... It worked? It really worked?' Ryoga thought, easily as stunned as Ranma from his performance. 'Damn! If I knew that I would have used something more lethal to follow it up!'

Ranma managed to land on his feet, and skidded to a stop a good distance away before sweeping his hand forward. "Yami barai!" 'What the hell was that? He just yelled and I was completely stunned for a second!'

Ryoga dodged the fireball with ease, dashing toward Ranma as he unstrapped his umbrella. "Hakaisha no yari!" The lost boy rocketed forward across the ground, the earth tearing at his feet as he drove his umbrella toward Ranma.

"K-Kaen ki-" Thrack! Ranma's counter was interrupted as Ryoga plowed into him, dissipating the flames and sending him flying onto his back.


"Yowch. This guy looks like he's got some momentum going," Hashiru said, scratching the back of his neck.

"What was that thing he did at the beginning?" Tomas asked, shuddering. "It's like my heart stopped for a second."

"It's an aura trick," Hashiru explained. "Kinda like when I do my reversal. You suddenly disrupt the ki in your attacker and it leaves them paralyzed for a sec. Impressive to manage it without any sort of physical contact, though."


THWOOM! Ryoga grunted as he leapt backward out of a sudden explosion, and then opened his umbrella as Ranma darted after him, striking constantly as he advanced.

Twang! Clangk! Ryoga suddenly thrust the umbrella forward after blocking an attack, and was momentarily unbalanced as his weapon failed to hit anything. At the same time, he felt a sudden surge of heat above him as Ranma passed overhead, glittering balls of flame floating slowly to the ground.

Thwoom! Thwoom! Thwoom! Ryoga rolled away as the ground was consumed in fire, his umbrella covering his flank at all times.

"Well, seems like you've got more up your sleeves than a few new moves," Ranma murmured, standing amidst the flames as they slowly abated. One of Ryoga's primary weaknesses was that he was accustomed to taking hits rather than avoiding them; which sometimes worked when your opponent used his fists, but didn't when you were being bombarded with fire. This Ryoga was more mobile and more cautious, and Ranma found the pain in his abdomen fading as he wondered what else the lost boy had in store.

"I'm not the same Ryoga you kicked around so easily, Ranma!" the lost boy growled, grabbing a handful of bandannas and letting them fly at his enemy. "If you had any brains, you'd get on your knees and beg for forgiveness while you still can!"

Ranma snorted, his hands lighting up into twin balls of flame before he swept them in front of him, leaving a trail of small explosions that swallowed up the cloth projectiles before they could do him any harm.

"Kijin raishu dan!" Ryoga shouted, sweeping his free hand forward as he saw his first attack repelled.

"Eh?" Ranma blinked at seeing a strange distortion in the air shoot toward him, and moved his hand back to fire another small blast to intercept whatever it was.

Sklurk! "Ghk!" Ranma jerked back as the vacuum blade struck home, undisturbed by his flames, and then a fan of blood blasted out of his back.


"What the hell? Ranma?" Min asked nervously at seeing her boyfriend stagger briefly.

"I didn't see it! What hit him?" Tomas asked.

Hashiru remained silent, his mouth twisting into a frown.


'It worked! This is incredible! Everything is working out exactly as planned!' Ryoga grinned as he charged forward, closing his umbrella into a spear point. "Hakaisha no yari!" Once again, he blasted forward like a train, aiming to pulverize his foe while Ranma was still surprised and off-balance.

"Back off!" Ranma snarled suddenly, raising one arm as ribbons of flame erupted from the ground.

Thwoom! Ryoga grunted as he was blasted aside, the ribbons swirling around Ranma as he rose into the air.

Ranma landed after completing the technique, and then nearly staggered again from the pain of the enormous cut along his upper torso. 'Still don't know what that was... but next time, I'll make sure to dodge, not deflect!'

"Heh! What's the matter, Ranma? Running low on steam already? That's not like you!" Ryoga taunted, standing up from where he landed. "You've barely scratched me! Don't make this too easy, now!"

"Get real, porky," Ranma said, his demeanor instantly hardening at any suggested weakness. "The last serious fight I had was with an indestructible, fire-proof demon! You're a cakewalk in comparison, new tricks or no!"

Ryoga dashed forward, his expression hardening at Ranma's nickname for him. "Why don't you just... SHUT UP!!"

Once again, Ryoga's voice boomed across the clearing, and Ranma felt his body tense involuntarily as the lost boy thrust a hand toward his heart, index and middle finger curved like a hook. "Dokuja tanketsu sho!"

Thwack! Ryoga's attack hit home, but instead of tearing through the skin and sliding between a gap in his foe's ribcage, as the technique was supposed to do, it pressed uselessly into Ranma's jacket as Ryoga's entire body suddenly went numb.

"Dokuga gyakuten," Ranma mumbled irritably. WHAM!

Ryoga went flying backward from an open-palm strike, his umbrella bouncing off to the side as he skidded along the ground.

The lost boy quickly got to his feet, and flipped out of the way just as Ranma ran up to him, sliding past with a sweeping kick.

"Damn it! Don't think that-" Before Ryoga could finish cursing his opponent, Ranma had doubled around, his fist engulfed in violet flame.

"Shikyo hana!" Ranma screamed, obliterating a tree as Ryoga leapt for cover. "Yami barai!"

Ryoga rolled across the ground, and then barely jumped away again as another fireball detonated behind him. 'No! I can't let him get on the offensive like this!'

Ripping off another handful of bandannas, Ryoga let his weaker projectiles loose while he made a dash for his umbrella.

Fwoom! Fwoom! Fwoom! The bandannas were each obliterated mid-air as Ranma pushed forward, blasting aside the obstacles as he pursued his opponent.

"Got it!" Ryoga crowed as he recovered his weapon, immediately doing a backflip into the air and aiming the head of the umbrella downward as he rocketed toward Ranma's head.

Ranma twisted around the brutal attack, ignoring the explosion of dirt and rock before launching a powerful roundhouse kick into the dust.

Clang! His foot slammed into Ryoga's umbrella, and the pigtailed boy had to leap back as Ryoga immediately made a jab at him.

"Kijin raishu dan!" Ryoga shouted again, sweeping one arm past his umbrella.

Ranma grit his teeth and leapt backwards, but it was to no avail as the air blade struck home, knocking him backward onto the ground and generating a fan of blood around his body.

"Gah! DAMMIT that hurts!" The pigtailed boy cursed as he pushed himself into the sitting position, glaring at Ryoga.

"Don't worry about it! You won't be feeling much of anything in a bit!" Ryoga said sadistically as he charged forward. "Hakaisha-"

Before Ryoga could even start his technique, Ranma's form blurred, and the lost boy blinked in surprise as Ranma shot past him in an unbelievable burst of speed. "Whoa!"

Ryoga quickly whirled around, and barely managed to block a back kick before it struck him in the neck.

Clank! Whang! Several more attacks were deflected as Ranma pushed his momentary advantage, and eventually Ryoga's guard was opened by a sudden snap kick that knocked his umbrella out of the way.

"Shikyo hana!" Ranma shouted, drilling into his enemy with a powerful explosive punch.

Ryoga was blown back from the attack, smoke trailing from his body as he rolled across the ground. He had managed to hold onto his umbrella this time, though.


"Humph! So you can at least do this much," Ryoga said as he pushed himself back up. "Still, this is nothing compared to the damage you've taken! Aren't you embarrassed, in the state you're in?"

"What, this?" Ranma asked, brushing away some blood dribbling down onto his pants. "Nah, I'm fine. More importantly, you want to turn it up a notch?"

"Eh?" Ryoga raised an eyebrow. "You can't be serious! If we go any further I really WILL kill you! Back down now, and I might spare your life, at least!"

In response, Ranma's aura burst around him, momentarily swallowing the pigtailed boy in a whirlwind of purple flame.

Ryoga quickly moved into a defensive position, though he became confused when his opponent didn't move to attack.

"Embarrassed? Nah, I'm not embarrassed. Actually, I'm pretty happy about this," he said, his breath laboring slightly as the flames started to thin, curling into tendrils of violet energy that swirled around him.

"H-Happy?" Ryoga asked, completely confused. "You're happy about getting your ass kicked? Is there something wrong with you?"

"Hey, don't get ahead of yourself!" Ranma said, a jubilant smile on his face. "I'm happy that you've actually reached this level! Before, you were always just on the wrong side of being a real challenge, you know? You could never stand up to me for long, and you never got any better. This... is actually pretty refreshing."

Ranma clapped his hands together, and all the fire swirling around him suddenly seemed to collapse into a single mote of dark, pulsing light around his hands. "So whaddya say we turn up the heat a little, huh?"

"Y-You're crazy!" Ryoga said, bigsweating a bit as he backed up. He hadn't really expected Ranma to fold even once the pigtailed boy started losing, but this gleeful battle-lust was completely different from any of the previous encounters. Ranma's rant gave the lost boy a sinking feeling that he had stepped into a tier that he wasn't entirely ready for, and Ryoga could feel his confidence waning.

"No time for regret now!" Ranma crowed, slamming his hand into the ground. "Gouka dan!"

"Yeep!" Ryoga jumped back as he saw the shock wave approaching, earth blasting into the sky as the dark energies burned across the ground.

After gaining some distance, the lost boy dashed to the side, hoping to get around the energy bomb to launch another attack.

At about the same time, Ranma rose one hand into the air and snapped his fingers.

BWAKOOOM!! An earth-shattering explosion tore through the clearing, instantly igniting many trees on the nearest edge of the forest and completely obscuring the two fighters from each other.

As the dome of hellfire expanded, Ranma suddenly dashed straight into it, his hands igniting in anticipation as he crossed the ashen surface of the blast zone.

Bursting out of the other side of the flames, the pigtailed boy stopped in surprise as he saw nothing in front of him save the flames and scorch marks from the explosion.

Thwip! Ranma was caught off-guard as a bandanna cut across his shoulder, though he was able to shrug it off much more easily than the wounds from the vacuum blade.

BWOOM! He evaded right as Ryoga dove down toward him with his umbrella, slamming into the ground hard and creating a small impact crater overlapping with the much larger blast crater.

A back kick slammed into the lost boy's head, sending him reeling back into the smoke from Ranma's earlier attack. Ryoga fended off another kick with his umbrella, and then leapt into the air.

"Kijin dai ran bu!" Ryoga unleashed his aura at the apex of his jump, and more vacuum blades erupted from all around him before curving in Ranma's direction.

Ranma frowned for a moment as the projectiles descended on him, and then he dashed forward into the deadly maelstrom, his image blurring behind him.

"Wh-What-" Ryoga, who was being kept briefly aloft by the chaotic air currents, didn't get much more than that out of his mouth before Ranma leapt up into the air after him, grabbing him over the face before pulling the both of them down again.

Wham! Dirt and rock burst from the ground as Ranma slammed his opponent into the earth, and a few sparks shot up around the pigtailed boy as energy rushed through his arm.

"Koto tsuki in!" Bwoom!

Ryoga's scream of pain was muffled by Ranma's hand as he was wreathed in purple flames, and Ranma staggered backward as the lost boy was blasted away.


Ryoga coughed painfully as he hopped to his feet, and he grit his teeth as he turned toward Ranma. 'That's crazy! How could he have gotten through that many vacuum blades unscathed? Nobody's that fast!'

Upon taking a good look at his pigtailed opponent, Ryoga realized that he was correct; Ranma was far from unscathed, and blood was now dribbling freely down his legs and arms.

'He took the hits and charged through anyway? He's more than insane! How is he even still standing?'


"Damn, Munch looks like they've hit a Munch climax, huh?" Tomas asked around the rice in his mouth.

"Totally. Crunch! Yagami looks like he's on his last legs, but he 'aint backing down, and the new kid is really starting to freak out. Gulp!" Hashiru swallowed some tempura and then opened up an energy drink before guzzling it down.

"Glug! Glug! Glug! What is that technique, though?" Min asked, wiping her mouth as she finished off a can of juice. "It's not a physical weapon, but Ranma's aura isn't absorbing it at all!"

Ranma sweatdropped from where he was still standing off against Ryoga. "Uh... guys? What are you eating?"

"These are just the supplies we had left," Tomas asked, unwrapping a calorie block. "We're going home today anyway, right? No point in wasting them." It seemed that Raven had broken down the entire camp during the fight, and was even now piling the last of the supplies and gear in preparation for them to leave.

"Wh... What about... me?" Ranma asked, his breathing labored.

"You look kinda busy to be worrying about lunch," Hashiru mumbled, unpacking some more rice.

"Careful, Ranma!" Min shouted, stopping to tear off a piece of beef jerky in her mouth. "The bandannas are just a distraction! Those air blades are the real attack!"


Ranma's eye twitched as he returned his attention to his opponent. "Thanks, I'd noticed by now..."

Ryoga, for his part, was holding his ground with a neutral expression, his mind tearing between fear and cautious optimism.

'He's almost down! He has to be! But... how much more can he take? Those air blades should've chopped him apart, but he's still on his feet!'

Ranma staggered forward for a moment, sparks of purple flaring about his fingers, but looking completely unprepared to launch an attack.

'I'll take the initiative!' Ryoga thought, stepping forward hesitantly. 'There's no going back now, after all! If I can-'

BWOOM! Ryoga flinched at the sudden explosion, and was thus caught completely off-guard when it was not him, but in fact Ranma that was blown off of his feet by a burst of fiery violet.

Of course, there was the minor problem that Ranma had been blasted in Ryoga's direction, with his blood-spattered arm braced for a shoulder charge.

"Whoomph!" Ryoga was slammed back as the boys impacted each other, Ranma collapsing immediately and Ryoga flying backward a few meters before he managed to regain his senses and roll to a stop.

"What the hell was that?" Ryoga shouted angrily as he got up. "Are you trying to kill us both, moron?"

Ranma chuckled darkly as he picked himself up. "Both? After so many air blades, an impact like that barely tickled. Was it too much for you?"

"I'm SAYING that you shouldn't go blowing yourself up before I get a chance to tear you apart!" Ryoga growled, bringing his umbrella back into position. "Now this time, STAY down!"

Ryoga charged forward, swinging his umbrella in a high arc, and was utterly surprised when Ranma slapped it out of the way negligently rather than dodging.

Wham! The pigtailed boy took a half-step to the left before slamming Ryoga back with and open-palm strike, sending the lost boy tumbling onto his back once more.

'What? How did he...' Ryoga quickly climbed to his feet, seeing that Ranma hadn't moved from where he was standing. 'Something's wrong here! He shouldn't be able to pull off something like that! Not in the shape he's in!'

Panicking, Ryoga pulled off a fistful of bandannas and hurled them at his opponent, the strips of cloth turning into whirling, sawblade-like projectiles in the air.

Ranma's hands lit up in response as he prepared his usual countermeasure. "Kaen kito!" The fireburst immediately reduced a few of the oncoming bandannas to ashes, leaving the rest to pass by harmlessly on all sides of the Yagami fighter.

"Gotcha!" Ryoga shouted, grabbing onto Ranma's shoulder with his free hand before his foe could recover from the energy surge.

Whack! Ryoga slammed his forehead into Ranma's, knocking back the pigtailed boy's head and then stepping back as he prepared to smash his stunned enemy with the hilt of his umbrella.

WHACK! Ryoga was utterly unprepared for Ranma to simply bring his head back around and slam it back into Ryoga's forehead, and the lost boy staggered backward from the blow, dazed.

Ranma calmly stepped forward, pressing his palm flat against Ryoga's chest as his hand glowed and crackled briefly. Bwoom!


As Ryoga was blasted back onto the ground, grunting in pain, Ranma stepped past him, walking up to a nearby tree on the edge of the clearing and resting his hand against it.

"Yeah, you've definitely gotten a lot better, Ryoga. But you're still not there, yet," he said conversationally, taking his hand off the tree and stepping further away from his opponent.

"What? I'm not there? Where's 'there'?" Ryoga asked irritably, standing up as smoke wafted from his scorched shirt.

"You're still not quite at this level," Ranma explained, digging his fingers into the next tree as he walked past it, and drawing a series of burnt lines across the width of the trunk before passing it by. "Or rather, you ARE at this level, but you're not used to it yet."

"What are you going on about now?" Ryoga demanded, gathering his strength. "You're just stalling for time, aren't you?"

"I'm serious," the pigtailed boy said, a smirk on his face. "You see, fighting at the level we're at, it's not so much about techniques and strength anymore, you know? Everyone's on the same playing field. We all have our special tricks, and one way or another, they kind of balance each other out. Nobody's unstoppable, but everybody's still dangerous. It becomes less about strength and training, and more about strategy and even luck."

"I'm sick of listening to you!" Ryoga declared, smashing his umbrella into the ground and embedding it a good foot or so into the dirt.

Then the lost boy's aura exploded around him, the energies coalescing into his arms. "Sai dai kyu..." Ryoga mumbled, crossing his arms in front of him, "Kijin raishu dan!"

THWOOM! An enormous shimmering arc rocketed forward as Ryoga spread his arms apart, causing a shock wave of dirt and dust to blast outward as it split the earth below, surging toward Ranma.

"Ya otome!" Ranma suddenly shouted, his form blurring as he dashed straight toward the vacuum blade, his head low to the ground.

Ryoga felt his heart seize up as he realized the vulnerable position he was in, and spurred his body to action as energy freely seeped from his hands. As large and powerful as his attack was, Ryoga knew he had released the projectile at chest level; it was just barely possible that someone could survive moving under it, and Ranma had an annoying habit of routinely accomplishing the "barely possible".

Bwack! Ryoga blocked Ranma's grasping arm as the pigtailed boy emerged from the wave of dust, and then somersaulted over his opponent when Ranma tried to sweep out his legs.

Ryoga landed in the trench left by his attack, and then quickly hopped backward into the edge of the cloud of dust, hoping that he could conceal himself in a hurry if Ranma decided to press the attack.

Splurch! That hardly seemed likely as a wash of blood burst from Ranma's shoulder, revealing a cut much deeper than any of the others caused earlier.


"Whoa, is he all right?" Tomas asked, looking nervous.

"He's lost too much blood! If this goes on any longer..." Min shouted in a panic.

Hashiru frowned. "Wait for it..."


"Heh... Heh..." Ranma chuckled weakly as Ryoga cautiously stood up behind him. "It's all about... strategy, ya see? 'Cause... even one wrong step... and you're finished..."

A smile slowly crossed Ryoga's lips as he watched his opponent wobble to and fro slightly. "I see. Don't worry, I'll make sure to learn from your example!" he crowed, crossing his arms over his chest.

Ranma turned his head lazily, holding one hand in the air. "Good. Now watch carefully..." Snap!

Ryoga was confused when Ranma snapped his fingers, and no less confused when he noticed the trees closest to him on the side glowing a fierce, ambient purple. "Wait... what is-"

"Akarumii shokubai," Ranma said tiredly. "Night-night."

KWABOOOM!!

All three trees that Ranma had casually touched upon earlier detonated like enormous sticks of TNT, briefly filling the whole clearing with a brilliant violet light that blinded the spectators just before a wave of powerful heat washed over them.

Whoomph! Whoomph! WHAM!

Min yelped as Ryoga's form, barely recognizable as a smoking lump of mass bouncing heavily across the ground, skidded across the earth just to left, throwing up a blast of dirt and splinters as a nearby tree arrested his motion.

"Knew there was something to those marks he left on the trees," Hashiru commented, waving a hand in front of his face to dispel the smoke that was spreading throughout the area, "still, this is a bit much..."

The smoke started to clear, lifting up into the air as the super-accelerated chemical reaction finished reducing the trees to ashes, burning up even their roots and leaving small smoking potholes in the ground where the improvised weapons had been.

Hashiru was surprised to see Ranma still standing as visibility improved, his head slumped and his shoulders rising and falling with each labored breath.

"Hey... Ryoga still... good to go?" Ranma asked, trying to sound casual around the blood pooling in his mouth.

"Nah, he's down," Tomas said, idly tapping Ryoga's scorched body with his foot. "Could probably use an ambulance, too."

"Oh..." Ranma mumbled, swaying from side to side. "So that's... all... huh? How... disappo-" Thud!

Min sweatdropped as she stared at Ranma's unconscious form. "And Ranma wins, by about twenty seconds. Geez... don't you think these two were overdoing it a little?"

"If you keep that attitude, you'll never reach his level, you know!" Tomas said, rummaging through a backpack for the medical supplies.

"Raven, take care of Yagami," Hashiru commanded before he turned toward Tomas. "I'm not saying you're wrong, but she still has a point. Those attacks were way too intense for anything but a blood duel. I'm still not clear on what exactly Yagami did at the end there, but whatever it was, there's a reason he saved it as a last-ditch backup plan. That's way too much force for a martial arts match. If the new kid was any closer to the trees when they blew, he could've easily lost an arm or something."

"Not that his techniques are any safer," Min groused, looking at the long stretch of forest that had been ripped apart by Ryoga's final vacuum blade. "Was he seriously trying to slice Ranma in half?"

"From the looks of things, he was trying to slice him into fifths, or maybe tenths," Tomas mumbled as he poured some burn ointment on a towel and started first aid work on the lost boy. "This guy is dangerous."

Hashiru sighed and shrugged. "Yeah, well, as long as Yagami can handle him, I'm willing to look the other way for now. This isn't our problem, and it's hard to imagine them getting into a fight more destructive than what we just saw here."

Min had begun helping Raven with Ranma's first aid work, and glanced over at Hashiru as she peeled off the pigtailed boy's jacket, wincing badly as parts of it stuck to the boy's body due to the dried blood. "So what are we going to do with fangs over there? Do we really want to take him along with us?"

"Not, really, no," Hashiru admitted. "Leaving him here shouldn't be a problem if we patch him up first. He's obviously a traveler, and he hasn't suffered any crippling injuries, right?"

Tomas frowned as he looked over his patient. "Define 'crippling'."

"Lord Hashiru, while we are certainly not obligated to care for Hibiki, it would be very dangerous to him to be left here in this condition," Raven said. "Lord Yagami will be fine with us to care for him, but without assistance, Hibiki may not recover."

Hashiru turned to stare at Ranma, and then his mouth slowly curled into a smile. "Well, we can't have that, can we? Heh heh heh..."

"Hurts... Hurts bad..." Ranma moaned weakly as his eyes fluttered open, heralding his return to consciousness.

Most of his body protested the awakening, and the pigtailed boy could feel, in addition to a powerful soreness that permeated his entire body, the sharp, stabbing pain of the cuts that had been left by Ryoga's vacuum blades. After a moment, he could recognize the feel of gauze wrappings and the smell of disinfectant, so he was relieved to find that he had at least been cared for.

'What time is it?' Ranma thought, shifting his head upward and looking through the forest canopy at the early evening sky. 'Getting dark, huh? Man, I was out for most of the day, then.'

Ranma continued staring up at the sky for several long moments, mulling this over.

"Wait a minute..."

He craned his neck to glance at his surroundings, and was quite disturbed to find that he was still in the middle of the battlefield upon which he had fallen. More to the point, despite the fact that his wounds had been cared for, a search of his surroundings from where he had fallen revealed that there was no one else in sight.

Well, no one other than Ryoga. The lost boy was bandaged up even more extensively than he was, and was clearly still unconscious.

"They didn't... They wouldn't..." Ranma mumbled, slowly picking his head up off the ground as his whole body protested mightily.

As soon as he was upright, a slip of paper that he hadn't noticed before slid off of his belly and into his lap.

"... They did," Ranma mumbled, looking over the note.

"Dear Ranma," the note began inconspicuously, "We all decided that Hibiki was hurt too badly to leave alone, and decided two-to-one that since you were the one that hurt him, it should be up to you to take care of him. The reverse also applies, of course; given how badly you're hurt, you'll need his help as well. See you back at home! Love, Hashiru, Tomas, and Min."

A small doodle of Hashiru making a "V" with his fingers was situated below the signatures, with a short message below that.

"P.S. REVEEEEENGE!!!"

Ranma's eye twitched as he re-read the note, and his eyes slowly crept upward to stare at Ryoga, still unconscious a few meters away from him.

"Apparently I was too easy on them," Ranma mumbled to himself, a terrifying smirk growing across his features. "If they have the guts to try something like this, obviously they do not FEAR enough."

"Unnnngh..."

Ranma perked up as he heard a deep groaning noise from Ryoga, and the pigtailed boy slowly and painfully pushed himself to his feet.

"Wha... Where am I?" Ryoga mumbled, his eyes fluttering open. "Last... Last things I remember... fighting Ranma... an explosion?"

The lost boy's arm twitched as he tried to rest his hand against his throbbing head, but the stinging agony that resulted forced him to relent. "I lost? I lost... Damn you... Ranma... this is... all... your fault..."

"Well, duh," Ranma said, causing Ryoga to flinch in surprise. "How you holding up, pork breath?"

"Ranma! You're still here?" Ryoga snarled from where he lay on the ground, suddenly far more animated. "You bastard! You tricked me! And then you hung around this long just so you could gloat over your victory?"

"Not exactly, no," Ranma admitted.

The somewhat irritable response caught Ryoga off-guard, and the lost boy raised an eyebrow. "Oh. So what are you still doing here, then?"

In response, Ranma crouched down next to Ryoga and held the note facing down over his face.

"............ Man, your friends suck," the lost boy mumbled.

"So there you have it," Ranma mumbled, incinerating the note with a burst of flame and rubbing his head with his hand. "Looks like we're stuck with each other. You feel up to walking yet, or do you need a hand up?"

Ryoga snorted defiantly, glaring at his nemesis. "I'd rather die that accept your help!"

Ranma was silent for several moments. "Really?" He asked finally.

Ryoga twitched on the ground a few times. "I... I mean... I'd rather die than accept MORE help than... than helping me stand up. Let's not be melodramatic about this."

"Of course," Ranma deadpanned, grabbing hold of Ryoga's hand. "This might hurt a lot."

Ryoga was fairly used to pain, and suffered stoically as Ranma pulled him to his feet despite the surges of agony flashing up and down his body.

"Can you walk?"

"Of course I can walk!" Ryoga snapped, stretching his arms and legs a bit to test how tight the bandage wrappings were. "Uh... where's my umbrella?"

"Looks like my 'students' stacked your stuff over there," Ranma said, pointing to the oversized backpack and the umbrella leaning against one of the trees at the edge of the clearing. "That's weird... they didn't leave any of my stuff?"

Ryoga chuckled darkly as he staggered over to his belongings. "Too bad for you! I'm not letting you have my supplies!"

Feeling triumphant in his petty victory, Ryoga grabbed the shoulder strap of his backpack and pulled.

Ranma's eyes narrowed as he watched his rival shiver in pain at the attempt before dropping the pack onto the ground again. "Having trouble?"

"It's... It's fine!" Ryoga shouted between panting breaths. "Don't think that you'll get a share of my supplies just by carrying my backpack for me!"

"How about by carrying your backpack for you AND leading you back to civilization?" Ranma asked, his arms crossed over his chest. "I'll even throw in the offer of not blasting you and just TAKING your stuff, since this situation is your fault anyway."

"Don't think you can push me around so easily!" Ryoga growled.

"I know I can push you around, porkchop, because I just BEAT you," Ranma growled back.

The growling of the two boys was momentarily overwhelmed by the growling of their stomachs, and the pair reluctantly dropped their glares.

"... So, you're going right back to Nerima?" Ryoga asked after a moment of hesitation.

"Yeah. I've got school tomorrow," Ranma mumbled, rubbing the back of his head.

"Hmph. I guess I can spare some food if we're going the same way," Ryoga said, trying his hardest to sound gracious about it. "After all, if a novice like you has to hunt and forage the whole way, we'll probably be out here all week."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," said Ranma, stepping past his rival and lifting up the unreasonably heavy pack in front of Ryoga. Although his own wounds protested at the heavy exertion, Ranma had as much practice pretending he wasn't in pain as Ryoga had in resisting it. "We can eat something once we get to the road. It should be less than an hour."

Ryoga frowned as Ranma shouldered the backpack, and then slowly picked up his umbrella before leaning on it like a walking stick. "Wait, is this the right direction?"

"What kind of question is that?" Ranma asked, looking annoyed. "Of course it's the right direction! And if it wasn't, it's still a better direction than whatever you'd choose!"

Ryoga bristled for a moment as he staggered after Ranma, struggling with his obnoxiously heavy umbrella as he tried to keep up. "Don't get cocky! I've been this way before! It leads to the ocean!"

Ranma sighed as he trudged through the underbrush. "Well, sure, eventually, but..."

The pigtailed boy trailed off, and then stopped moving.

"Ryoga," Ranma said finally, glancing behind him, "do you know what an 'island' is?"

Ryoga's face twisted into a scowl of indignation. "Of course I know what an island is, idiot! It's land surrounded by water!"

"Right, right," Ranma said, apparently unsatisfied by the answer. "You do know that JAPAN is an island, right?" Of course, Japan was technically several islands, but Ranma didn't want to break the lost boy's mind or anything.

Ryoga stopped in his tracks, his expression unreadable. "I...... uh... well... I see..." he glanced around cautiously, as if afraid that there was an audience to witness evidence of his ignorance. "That... explains a lot, actually. I didn't know they made islands that big."

'Someday I should show Ryoga a world map, just to see him squirm,' Ranma thought as he started walking again.


The pair walked in silence after that; Ryoga was occupied with applying his new geographical knowledge to his understanding of the world around him (with predictably horrifying results), and Ranma had trouble thinking of anything to say after his pity for Ryoga's sense of direction overwhelmed his contempt for his cursed rival.

Ryoga had done a lot of things to him that ranged from irritating to villainous, but after fighting the lost boy in earnest and nearly dying as a result, Ranma found that his respect for the fanged moron had actually crawled up a notch.

Ranma wasn't sure if it made up for being left behind with no supplies, injured and with only Ryoga to help him, but that was as much his friends' fault as Ryoga's, so he was willing to let it go.

"There's the ranger's station up ahead," Ranma said as he noticed a thin trail of smoke rising above the trees. "Do you need to stop and rest, or can we keep going until we reach the main road?" Left unsaid was that he was, naturally, strong enough to manage the trek back to the road, even carrying Ryoga's things, and that he was only making the offer to accommodate Ryoga's weakness.

'Please stop and rest, please stop and rest, please stop and rest...'

Ryoga bristled angrily, seizing upon the chance to let his stubborn nature show. "Don't look down on me, Ranma! You came damn close to defeat today! And next time we fight I won't fall for your stupid tricks, so don't be so cocky!"

'Damn. Obviously I didn't blast him hard enough if he's recovering so well and so quickly.'

Aloud, Ranma snorted. "Oh? And what about all your tricks and all the new techniques I saw? You think you'll be able to do as well next time?"

The two martial artists glared at each other, and then turned away, grimacing as they passed by the ranger station.

"Although..." Ranma finally said, scratching his cheek as he looked away from his rival, "I have to admit, that air blade thing is pretty solid. Even after getting hit that many times, I don't think I've figured it out completely."

Ryoga twitched at Ranma's words, his face darkening. 'It took me a week just to figure out the basis of the technique, and I had the damn technique scroll! Cocky jackass!'

"That thing you did at the beginning, too, it was really impressive," Ranma admitted, thinking back to the stunning shout Ryoga had done. "The technique I used against it I ripped off of Hashiru, but I don't even know where to begin if I was to copy yours. I was really in a bind there for a minute."

'That "ripped off" technique totally foiled mine! I'll probably never succeed with that attack again!' Ryoga thought, a green aura manifesting around him.

"Like I said, you've improved a lot, and putting aside the mess we're in now, I'm kinda glad that you showed up," Ranma admitted, his attitude cheering little by little as the pair trudged through the forest. "I mean, the training trip was going fine, but it was my friends who were getting all the practice, you know? Doesn't do much for me."

'And now he's complaining that he wasn't getting enough exercise! Probably because he was too busy making out with his girlfriend, the bastard!'

"What I'm tryin' to say is, if you want to have more of your silly little revenge duels, that's cool," Ranma said, suddenly coughing gently into his hand. "But in the future, could we go back to writing letters of challenge or something? You have a habit of turning up in the wrong place at the wrong time, you know? So don't..."

Ranma finally glanced back at his traveling companion, and noted with great confusion that a blazing, wrathful aura encircled the lost boy as Ryoga staggered along, mumbling darkly the whole time.

"Uh... you okay?" Ranma asked, sweatdropping.

Ryoga seemed to pay the pigtailed boy no mind, stepping past him while still mumbling all the while. "Cocky son of a... train harder, even longer... won't get off so easy... stupid bombs won't save you..."

"I was trying to compliment you, you know," Ranma said, frowning as the lost boy continued straight ahead.

Finally, he sighed. "Oh well. I guess this is fine too." Dropping the backpack on the ground, he called out to Ryoga, who was just about to step into some bushes and undoubtedly end up getting turned completely around. "Yo, bacon brains! I'm taking a breather! Come on, let's eat something!"

Ryoga's aura promptly dispersed, though the lost boy still looked quite upset. "What are you talking about? We haven't reached the road yet!"

"Yeah, so what?" Ranma said, opening up the pack and digging through it. "I want to eat now."

"Hey! You can't just rifle through my things as you please!" Ryoga seethed, staggering up to Ranma and almost tripping over his umbrella as a result. "Who put you in charge?"

"I did," Ranma said casually, taking out some dried meat and promptly tearing off a bit.

"Hey! I didn't say you could eat that!" Ryoga growled. "I don't have to take this from you!"

"Of course not," Ranma said in-between bites. "You can leave any time you want."

Ryoga was silent for several long moments as he considered the option.

"You don't have to put up with me; I'm definitely not forcing you to stick around," Ranma continued, pulling out a can of tea and popping it open. "I just happen to have two things you don't: the strength to carry your things, and the sense of direction to get to civilization within a day. But you don't really need any of that, right? A solid food supply and good directions isn't worth hanging around me."

Ryoga started to sweat as Ranma's words slowly undermined the lost boy's boiling emotions, clouding his mind with reason.

Ranma continued to eat through Ryoga's supplies in silence, incinerating the various wrappers and containers one by one as he finished them.

Thud! Ryoga's umbrella landed on the ground heavily, and a moment later Ryoga joined it, sitting cross-legged in front of Ranma and glaring at the pigtailed boy.

"Are you just gonna eat all my food, or are you at least going to offer me some?" The lost boy finally asked.

Ranma smirked as he handed his rival a granola bar. "You know, if we just splash you with some water, I could carry you, too. We'd also save on train fare."

"You can go straight to hell."

"Heh. You too, Ryoga. You too."

"Well, it's Monday morning and no sign of Ranma," Tomas mumbled as he and Min walked to class, glancing around the halls of Furinkan nervously. "Do you think he made it back okay?"

"I certainly hope so," Min mumbled, looking slightly anxious as she scanned the halls. "I mean, of course he made it back, right? There's no way Ranma couldn't handle a long hike back to the train station!"

"I'm a bit worried about that Hibiki kid giving him trouble, but I'm sure you're right," Tomas mumbled, turning as he reached the door to the classroom. "Maybe he got home late and he's just skipping today. I'm sure his injuries are bad enough to get himself excused."

Tomas opened the door.

Hwooosh... Tomas and Min stared at the crackling purple fires that surrounded their desks, burning in isolation apart from everything else in the classroom. The other students mostly stared straight ahead, sweating nervously as they tried to remain indifferent to the blaze.

"... That's not good," Tomas mumbled.

After a moment, he felt a chill crawl down his back.

"I... I mean... thank goodness Ranma made it back all right!" the American amended.

Min, whose expression had remained carefully neutral since Tomas opened up the door, spoke to the student sitting nearest to them. "He's behind us, isn't he?"

The girl she had spoken to didn't turn her head, but nodded stoically while still facing straight forward.

The two Bogards slowly turned around, grimacing as they saw Ranma looming over them, his gaze dark as he held his arms crossed over his chest.

Min gulped lightly, then forced a smile onto her face. "Hi, honey! Glad to see you again! I missed you!"

Crack! Thoom! Min's desk buckled from a sudden surge of energy within the flames, and within seconds the entire thing fell to the floor in a pile of smoldering ashes.

"I'm going to stop talking now," the Ninja girl said, seeing that her "girlfriend" tactic had failed.

"So..." Tomas began, clasping his hands together and twiddling his thumbs, "I think I'll just go ahead and apologize. Sorry about leaving you in the forest. With that Hibiki guy who wants to kill you. While you were injured."

"You forgot about taking all my stuff," Ranma glowered, stepping forward and taking hold of the front of Tomas' jacket.

"Oh. Right. That too." The American noted that although Ranma had numerous bloodied bandages on him the previous day, much of that gauze was gone now, testament to how fast the pigtailed boy was healing.

"So, 'buddy,' you wanna explain to me why, out of all of you guys, MIN was the only one who voted NOT to leave me stranded in the forest with that idiot!"

Tomas blinked, raising an eyebrow. "Huh? Wait... who told you that Min voted to bring you along?"

Ranma blinked too. "What? You mean she didn't?"

"No! That was me!" Tomas protested.

Min bigsweated as the pigtailed boy turned to stare at her. "What? Those stupid training exercises were really hard!"

"Hmph." Ranma turned away from her and then dropped Tomas before pointing at the American's desk.

Hoof! The violet blaze promptly withered at the command, leaving the desk a mere smoking ruin rather than a pile of cinders, like Min's was.

"Whatever. I'm over it. Let's just start class," Ranma said, looking annoyed as he walked into the room and sat down.

Crack! After a few seconds, the smoking ruin crumbled further, such that Tomas' pile of desk looked much the same as Min's, but in larger pieces.

"You know, I keep stuff in there," Tomas mumbled.

"You mean you 'kept' stuff in there," Ranma corrected. "Past tense. Your Japanese is still a little off."

"We should have left him deeper in the forest," Tomas mumbled under his breath.

"Let's just go home, I don't want to sit on the floor," Min said, turning away from the classroom bleakly.

"Hey, I wonder what happened to the other guy? Hibiki?" Tomas wondered aloud, following his cousin.

"Who knows? Being left alone with the guy that beat him to a pulp, I can't imagine he's in a good spot right now."

"Bwee! Bwee!" Ryoga whistled fondly as Kasumi gently petted his back, feeling a kind of warm peace spread throughout his body that was only partially ruined by the stinging sensation of having his recently-burnt flesh rubbed so brazenly.

"It was very nice of Ranma to stop by so late at night just to drop off P-chan like that," Kasumi said aloud. It was quite obvious that she was talking to herself, though it annoyed Ryoga to have anyone within earshot praise Ranma for anything.

Kasumi had turned up early in the morning to clean up, fearing that her family would let the household fall into decline in her absence. She was absolutely right to be worried, and had spent a rather frantic morning trying to get things in order.

"Father said Ranma found you in the woods... really P-chan, do you have any idea how worried you made Akane?"

Ryoga actually shed a small tear at that, imagining Akane sobbing into her pillow at night, wailing her pet's name in anguish. 'Forgive me Akane! Forgive my foolish pride!"

In actuality Akane had grown quite used to P-chan's disappearances, so his absence wasn't quite the emotional roller coaster that he imagined. Still, P-chan's return to the Tendo household brought Akane joy matched only by her displeasure at having Ranma be the one to return him. Although she had been as quick as ever to accuse him of harming her pet, especially once she realized that P-chan was injured, the pigtailed boy endured her tantrum admirably until she had finished venting, and had even stuck around long enough to squeeze a reluctant "Thank you" out of the youngest Tendo.

After that he had left quickly, though oddly enough not in the direction of his house. Akane hadn't pried for a detailed explanation, as she really couldn't care less, but Ranma had mumbled something about rich people getting what they deserved before he left.

Fortunately, neither Soun nor Nabiki were alerted to his presence, so everyone was spared the awkward discomfort of Soun's attempt to marry people and the awkward silence of... well, Ranma and Nabiki not speaking to each other.

One person who HAD noticed Ranma's brief arrival, however, was Happousai. Oddly enough, the little old martial artist hadn't actually emerged from wherever he was watching until Ranma had left, for which Akane had been thankful.

Still, with Kasumi finally restoring a minimal measure of sanitation to the household and P-chan back from his long, mysterious travels, it seemed that things had finally been restored to something resembling normalcy, even taking into account Happousai's unfortunate presence.

Of course, taking into account the old lecher's presence, it was only a matter of time until all hell broke loose.

"Oh, Grandfather, hello!" Kasumi said cheerfully as she noticed the little old man emerging from the hall and stepping into the living room.

Happousai looked surprised to see the young woman, though not at all displeased. "Ah, Kasumi! Wonderful to see you! I was wondering just how much more of Soun's laziness I could handle before I had to carry you back here myself!"

"Well, after I heard from Akane what kind of state the house was in, I just had to come back, at least for a little while," Kasumi said worriedly, placing a hand to her mouth. Soun had warned her explicitly to stay away from Happousai, but his warnings warred ineffectually against her naive innocence and domestic instincts.

P-chan, for his part, could tell the little man was trouble at a glance, and promptly took up the closest thing to a "warning stance" that a piglet could manage.

"Good to hear, good to hear," Happousai said, apparently dismissing the both of them. "Hate to take off when you've finally arrived, but I have some errands to run!"

Kasumi blinked, cocking her head to one side. "Oh, are you missing your handkerchief? I can take care of the laundry too, while I'm here." She had noticed that most of the time when Happousai went on "errands," he tied a black handkerchief over his head, and was curious as to why he wasn't bothering with the costume now.

"Oh, no, it's not that kind of errand," the lecherous little man said, chuckling as he held up a rolled-up piece of paper. "Anyway, I should be off! I have some... legal matters to attend to."

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Joshin idly checked his pocketwatch as he tapped the crook of his cane against the front door of the Yamazaki mansion, calculating in his head the amount of time until the first class of the day.

The posh fighter was only slightly surprised when the door opened to reveal Raven rather than Hashiru's butler. "Ah, a good morning to you, Raven. Is Lord Hashiru up yet? Maiko wanted to speak to him about a partnership venture before class."

"Lord Hashiru may be a bit late this morning," Raven admitted, stepping back into the house.

Joshin sighed. "I see. Someone new already?"

Raven shook his head, surprising him. "Not this time. He's merely had a difficult weekend under Lord Yagami's tutelage."

Joshin removed his monocle briefly to wipe it with a handkerchief. "Remarkable. To test Lord Hashiru's endurance... Yagami is a monster without peer, certainly."

"Anyway, I'll attempt to wake him up, but I seriously doubt he'll be attending his first class," Raven admitted, sighing through his Ninja mask.

"Ah, just a moment," Joshin said, replacing his monocle. "Before you go, I have a brief query: have you examined the property hedges this morning?"

Raven gave the wealthy young man an annoyed glance. "As a matter of fact, I have not. Lord Hashiru has not yet stooped to assigning me gardening duty."

"I would consider it more of a security issue than a yard maintenance one," Joshin clarified, stepping to the side and pointing his cane out toward the front gate.

Frowning beneath his mask, Raven stepped up to the doorway and peered out past the front yard.

It was easy to tell what Joshin was talking about immediately; the heavy bushes that normally hid the yard fencing had been altered, seemingly by way of strategically burning away sections of the brush. What remained was a sequence of large and surprisingly easy-to-read kanji, though it took Raven a moment to realize that he couldn't easily recognize most of the characters.

"That's odd... what does that say? It seems to be gibberish," the Ninja mumbled, squinting as he rubbed his chin.

"Seems that way, does it not?" Joshin replied evenly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Try imagining it backwards, as if you were reading it from the streets rather than the facilities."

Raven did so, and one eyebrow crept up as the sentence seemed to fall into place. "'Warning: beware of perverted gangsters'?"

"It also says 'Ranma Yagami was here' on the large tree in the yard," Joshin said, pointing his cane to the right. "It seems that he's taken up wanton vandalism."

"It's nothing but a revenge prank, I assure you," Raven said, sighing as he rubbed his head with his hand. "And honestly, a much more harmless one than I had hoped for. The training trip opened my eyes to precisely how cruel and destructive that boy can be."

"I see..." Joshin spent a moment to finger his eyepiece, and then straightened, his hands clasped over the hook of his cane. "So, are we to do anything about the hedges? Some of the neighbors were talking."

"Not at all," Raven said, smirking beneath his mask. "After all, Lord Yagami put a great deal of effort into warning the neighborhood about the kind of people in this house, didn't he?"

"Ah, I suppose so. Let's head off, shall we?"

The sight of a train speeding through urban sprawl was a common sight in Tokyo; Japan had one of the most extensive and capable rail transit systems in the world, and every day it moved millions of people across and between cities for work, school, and play.

Less common were individuals traveling on TOP of the train cars rather than in them, although the practice was hardly unheard of. Martial artists, Ninja assassins, clueless aliens, and the occasional action hero chasing down a villain all occasionally made use of the train roof rather than going through the disgustingly simple act of just purchasing a ticket. Although the problem wasn't so widespread that there was any real loss of revenue to the transit authority, it was common enough that the ministry had decided to place signs warning against the practice on top of all train cars, if only to provide a defense against lawsuits.

Cologne figured that if anyone asked, she could get away with claiming she couldn't read Japanese very well.

Th-Thump... Th-Thump...

The Chinese matriarch glanced to the side, picking out road signs and noting unusual buildings to use as reference points later on, if necessary.

'Hmph. It's hard to believe Shampoo could have spent so long in a place like this,' Cologne thought to herself, her long hair whipping about in the wind. 'This place definitely doesn't suit her... and it's dangerous, besides.'

Next stop, Nerima prefecture. Came a computerized voice from below, barely intelligible among the noise of the wind and the rails.

"It looks like I've arrived," Cologne mumbled to herself, glancing about. "Hmmm... it should be somewhere around here... oh well."

Without waiting for the train to slow its movement, the diminutive Amazon leapt off the top of the train, deflecting off of a railroad crossing sign and then landing atop a bus.

"This place is bigger than I expected. Finding either Shampoo or Mousse could take weeks," the elder groused, gripping her staff tightly. "Well, no sense complaining. At least I have a good starting point..."


As the bus roared off into the distance, the train started to decelerate as it approached Nerima station, eventually coming to a complete stop at the passenger platform as normal.

The moment the doors slid open, a huge rush of people flooded out, shifting to the side to allow an equally hurried rush of people to flood in.

Among those exiting the vehicle was a teenage girl of Chinese origin. This girl was noteworthy not only because of her physical characteristics in the form of a killer body and long purple hair, but also because she was dragging along a Japanese businessman behind her.

The other passengers, true to form, ignored the debacle. After all, they were in Nerima now, and the instant one entered those cursed borders such violent circumstances were to be expected.

"Wait! Please! I'm sorry! Really sorry! Do you want money? Just, please, let me go!" The man wailed helplessly, holding a hand over his black eye.

Shampoo's eyebrow twitched as she dropped the man on the floor, and she balled her hands into fists. "You think money make up for touch Shampoo like that? You lucky Shampoo not break filthy hand!"

The train molester quivered in fear before he got on his hands and knees, kowtowing pitifully before the Amazon. "You're right! I was wrong! I'll never do it again, I swear! Please let me go! This isn't even my stop!"

Shampoo snorted, but ultimately relented, knocking the man aside with a negligent kick. "You no lie, now! Not get away so easy next time!"

Turning away from the lecherous soul, Shampoo stalked away from the departing train and toward the ticket entry.

Truth be told, a few months ago would have seen Shampoo sitting on the roof in order to avoid train fare and having to mingle with the Japanese crowds, but when she'd considered the option at the train station she'd departed from, the convenience and comfort of squeezing into the car along with everybody else had won out over the few hundred yen that she would have saved up top.

Of course, she hadn't counted on old men trying to grope her, but the discomfort was comparable with the cold winds and dealing with the occasional low-clearance overhang and tunnel. Not to mention that beating the molester afterwards was very refreshing.

'Great-Grandmother would probably say I'm getting soft and lazy,' the Amazon thought to herself, smirking. 'Then again, Great-Grandmother isn't here, so why worry about it?'

That's right; Shampoo was back in Nerima. She had new techniques, and had even picked up some interesting romantic advice from her recent instructor. Mousse had been defeated, the other Amazons were nowhere in sight, and her only real competition for Ranma's attention, that top-heavy half-American kunoichi, was still too hung up on Ranma's silly curse to make a move. All was right with the world.

Smiling happily, Shampoo exited the train station and headed to Ranma's house.

***********************************************************************

End Chapter 19

Hakaisha no yari - Spear of the destroyer
Kijin raishu dan - Demon god assault bomb
Kijin dai ran bu - Demon god big mad dance
Sai dai kyu kijin raishu dan - First-rate demon god assault bomb
Dokuja tanketsu sho - Poison snake deep hole blow