Rule #1: Preparation is mildly important. Make sure you look decent for your date, but don't spend time fussing over details.

Ranma smiled and admired the reflection in the mirror, looking carefully for any blemishes.
"Okay. Hair's combed. Dressed in clean clothes. Bathed, deodorized, styled. I'm all set!"
Then Ranma frowned, staring in the mirror as she ran a hand through her bright red hair.
"I can't help but get the feeling I'm forgetting about something... eh, whatever."

Rule #2: If you're on time, then she'll be late. There's no avoiding it. Rather than getting upset, learn to predict how long she'll be, and bring a suitable distraction.

Min descended the stairs to her living room, grinning widely as she predicted the look on Ranma's face when he saw her.
"Ranma? Sorry to keep you waiting! I'm... uh..." Min sweatdropped as she approached the front door, seeing Ranma leaning against the door jam while playing a Game Boy DS.
"Huh? Oh. You're ready. Hold on," Ranma mumbled, taking no attention away from the game of Mario Kart.
Min twitched. "Uh... Ranma? Are you ready to-"
"Not now!" Ranma said sharply, focusing more intently on the game. "If you can spend fifteen minutes putting on makeup after the time you set, then I can spend ten seconds finishing Rainbow Road! Almost... got... it... just... DEAR GOD!! BLUE SHELL!! BLUE SHELL!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
More sweatdrops collected on Min's head. "...... Why are you a girl?"

Rule #3: Having your own car is expensive, and you shouldn't feel bad if you have to present your date with alternative forms of transportation. Just make sure that whatever it is, it's fast, economical, and safe.

Ranma tossed aside the brass kettle as he returned to his proper gender, and smiled as the wind whipped through his wet hair, creating an icy contrast to his warm skin that refreshed his whole body.
"You know," Min shouted, trying to be heard over the din of traffic and the truck engine rumbling beneath them, "if you're that short on cash, I can spring for a cab!"
Ranma shrugged and laid back on the top of the trailer roof, being quite used the sound of rumbling engines all around him. "Nah, it's all right. This is just as fast, and it's free. Though I wish they'd wash the tops of these things more often..."
A vein popped up on Min's head. "It's all right. Really. On the way back, we're taking a ta-"
"Duck," Ranma said suddenly.
"What? Whe-" Wham!
Ranma winced as the low bridge passed over him only a bare foot above, and turned his head to watch as his date's comatose body grew smaller in the distance. "Guess I forgot to tell her it's best to lie down on these things," he mumbled to himself. "Hmph. You'd think a Ninja would have seen that coming."

Rule #4: Girls usually want to be taken to places that value atmosphere over economy; if you really want to wow your date, be prepared to spend a lot on the food without getting your money's worth. Those of you who are more patient, more stubborn, or who just don't like her that much can opt for less expensive alternatives, but remember that fast food is still a no-no.

"Uhhn..." Min mumbled dizzily as she came to, and as her eyes fluttered open, Ranma's face slowly materialized above her. "Wha... Wha' ha'ened?"
"Aw, ya just took a little spill, that's all," Ranma frowned at the young woman he held in his arms. "Are you out of practice or something? I've never seen a martial artist get knocked out by an inanimate structure before."
Min shook her head, trying to rid herself of the loud ringing sensation in her skull. "Grgh... uhn... What? What are you talking about?"
"Nothin'. Anyway, hope you're hungry!" Ranma grinned and gently put her down.
'Well, at least we're here,' Min thought as she massaged her aching head. After regaining her footing, she finally looked up to see where they were going to be eating that evening.
"...... Why're we at your house?" Min asked pitifully, her skull still throbbing.
Ranma rubbed the back of his head. "Well, y'know, I didn't really think about it before, but I remembered earlier today that tonight is sukiyaki night. And I didn't want to miss that, so I figured, 'Hey, why go scrounge up money so that I can eat somewhere where they're NOT serving Mom's sukiyaki?' Didn't make any sense, y'know? C'mon in! She makes it with shrimp!"
Thud!
"Huh? Min? You okay? Hellooooo! Wake up, sleepyhead!"


In case any of you were wondering, the above is merely the omake, and not to be considered part of the storyline.
To be continued...

Yagami 1/2
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover
by Black Dragon
black_dragon74@hotmail.com
https://www.angelfire.com/anime5/fanficlair/index.html

Disclaimer: All information about dating, romance, relationships, and so forth was acquired from third-party sources, primarily prime time television and cartoons. Any similarity to actual dates and romantic discourse is entirely coincidental. And frankly, quite frightening.

Notes: Sounds, Emphasis or techniques, [Written words], 'Thoughts', "Dialogue", {"Dialogue in a different language"}

Chapter 14
Date With Disaster
**********************************************************************************

"Hai yah!" Tunk!
Bits of wood flew in all directions as Shampoo landed a hand chop directly atop the upraised length of wood, causing the log to split cleanly down the middle and topple over, collecting at Shampoo's feet along with dozens of others.
The violet-haired girl smirked and dusted off her hands, which were dirty and bruised from an hour's hard exertion. Pieces of wood surrounded her in great piles, each one having been broken cleanly in the middle.
After taking a moment to stretch, Shampoo leaned over and collected all the pieces of chopped firewood, placing them in a carefully arranged pile behind her among all the other ones.
Once she was finished with that, she turned once more toward the forest, and scanned the area for another suitable tree to knock down.
"Shampoo? Are you still... uh..." Shower's question died on her lips as she emerged from the forest path behind her home, and she stared.
"Master Shower!" Shampoo immediately bowed low, making sure that her manner approximated Japanese customs as best as she could manage.
Shower gazed upon the mountains of firewood, and her left eyebrow twitched. "Shampoo... what is this? I told you to gather some firewood for tonight."
Shampoo nodded. "Yes, Master! Shampoo do that! Carry back to house now?"
Shower twitched again. "Shampoo... we're not hosting a bonfire party tonight. There's enough wood here for three seasons. It's too much. You could deforest this whole area at this rate." She frowned as she noticed the many splintered stumps that had been trees the last time she was here. "Did you actually cut down more trees? How did you do all this, anyway? My axe is still in the back, where I told you it was. That's actually why I came to check on you..."
"No need axe," the teenage Amazon said proudly, "Great-Grandmother teach techniques for knock down tree and split wood with hand very early!"
A vein popped up on Shower's head, much to Shampoo's surprise. "Shampoo. We have AXES to cut wood. They are tools designed to make the work easier so that you don't have to do idiotic things like split logs with your bare fists."
Shampoo winced badly. She didn't really understand what she had done wrong, but it was a very bad sign when your prospective master described your activities as "idiotic". "Well... it good training... and that what Shampoo come to do, so-"
"Yes, yes, whatever," Shower sighed, then gestured to one of the smaller wood piles. "Very well. Take that mound back to the house, and then meet me in the dojo."
Shampoo nodded wordlessly and went to work as quick as she could, though she slowed slightly when she saw that her master was shaking her head sadly as she walked back home.

The violet-haired girl was wracked with worry as she packed as much wood as she could into a single armload. What had she done wrong? In training, she was always taught that the only excess was when one risked fatal or permanent injury to train for a technique, and even then, many of the Amazonian techniques wandered easily into the "permanent injury" range. She had heard plenty of tales of warriors who tried to undertake the breaking point training too soon, and had their bones pulverized far beyond what the village healer could repair. And people had lost their hands to the chestnut fist training, she was sure.
Just what was it that Shower wanted from her? She had stressed that using the axe instead of her hands was the simple and intelligent thing to do, but Shampoo had always been taught that making any task more difficult and physically draining was a good training exercise. Sense and simplicity had never been part of martial arts training before; why did it mean anything to Shower?
She let out a sigh as she dumped her load of wood on the iron rack that laid right outside the main cottage that Shower called home. 'Well, whatever she's looking for, I hope she finds it. I don't know what I'm going to do otherwise...'
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"So," Shower mumbled as she nursed the cup of tea in her hands. "Let's review how the day has gone so far, shall we?"
Shampoo sat across from her in the middle of the dojo, looking worried, but dignified.
"Today you got an hour before dawn, from what you told me, and performed kata and basic exercises until seven o'clock, when I, and for that matter every other sensible human being in this time zone, woke up to start our day."
Shampoo winced. Why did she have to make such a reasonable matter of personal preference sound so foolish? She hadn't even gotten up that early because of her training; waking up at or before dawn was something she always did, except when she spent the night with Ranma in cat form.
"I asked you to make me some fried eggs for breakfast," Shower continued, "and you cooked a four-course meal that I ended up having to share with my neighbors so all the food wouldn't go to waste."
"Eggs was second course," Shampoo noted in her defense, "and meal was very good! Shampoo very good cook, no?"
"Yes, fine," the old master said dismissively. "I asked you to help a friend of mine in town with a party she was hosting at her inn. You ended up taking a part-time job at that same inn after you were done."
Shampoo gulped. "Shampoo sorry! Should know that job take away time what for training! Uh... or is it you want Shampoo get full-time job?"
"Shut up," Shower deadpanned. "I asked you to catch and butcher an animal for me to cook for lunch and dinner, since you might have depopulated the entire forest if I asked YOU to cook another meal. You ended up providing me with a dozen flank steaks, a fur coat, twin daggers made of animal bone, and a tooth necklace that used sinew as string."
Shampoo blushed slightly, but didn't speak against her master's wishes.
"I asked you to chop some wood for tonight, and you smash down two dozen trees and split it all into firewood with your bare hands. In an HOUR."
Again, Shampoo fought the urge to speak, as she had technically only knocked down twenty trees, not twenty-four (she thought it might be a worthwhile correction, since Shower didn't seem to be impressed by her efficiency).
"Finally, when you met me here I asked you to make some tea before we sat down and had this little chat. You went out and located some plants you noticed in the forest, quick-dried them somehow, and then crushed them with herbs I had lying around in the kitchen to make the tea. Why? You took a damn long time, too."
"Sh-Shampoo sorry, but no could find tea in kitchen," the Amazon stuttered.
Shower frowned. "You didn't see the cans of green tea in the fridge? It's all mixed and everything. You just take one out and pop it open. I had two of them while you were busy picking plants."
A sweatdrop slowly rolled down Shampoo's head. "They make tea what come in can? Is gross." 'I can't believe it. She has to be almost four times as old as I am, and I'm the old-fashioned one?'
Shower sighed deeply. "Shampoo, I don't believe that you normally do things to this level of excess. So why are you doing these things?"
Shampoo fidgeted slightly; she was very confused about the nature of Shower's criticism, and it was making her nervous. "Shampoo taught always work hardest when train. And hope impress Master Shower with strength."
"Yes. I figured as much," Shower mumbled, massaging her head. "Shampoo, I didn't give you those tasks to test you. I gave them to you because they're tiring and tedious and I didn't want to do them myself."
The teenage Amazon sweatdropped again, but nodded. "Yes, Shampoo understand. Shampoo do something wrong?"
"Well... no... technically," Shower muttered, scratching her head. "That's not really the issue here. You see... Shampoo, you have a certain way of approaching martial arts. You train with great passion and determination. I haven't known you long, but I can tell you would be a savage opponent to face, and that you fight with great courage and desire in your heart."
Shampoo nodded silently, a proud smile on her face. So she had made an impression after all!
"And, well... that's why I'm not going to train you," Shower said apologetically.
Crash! Shampoo tipped over forward and faceplanted into the hardwood floor of the dojo.
Immediately she bounced to her feet, an expression of hurt disbelief on her face. "But... But why? Why Shampoo not good enough for-"
"Now, now, don't go putting words in my mouth," Shower snapped, causing the younger Amazon to flinch back and slowly sit back down. "Look. This is nothing personal against you, and it's not because you're not good enough, or not determined enough, or anything like that. This has to do with your attitude. It's... well... incompatible."
Shampoo frowned deeply, and her eyes narrowed. "In... Incom...?"
The elder Amazon sighed. "Your passion and ferocity, which I've no doubt was an asset to your original training, unfortunately makes it impossible for you to learn the only things I have to teach you."
Shampoo shook her head. "Uh... but... no understand..." Passion, bad? How could something like THAT hinder her?
"Well, it's like this," Shower said slowly, taking a long sip of tea. 'Hmmm... it IS better than the cold canned stuff...' "You see, the techniques I've developed, and really the only ones you lack, are those that use ki to perform certain effects. I'm sure you've seen or heard of them before."
Shampoo nodded. "Kachuu tenshin amaguriken and bakusai tenketsu both ki attack, yes?"
"No, not quite," the elder corrected. "They utilize ki, of course, and significant mastery is required in order to use either of them, but neither of them truly project ki itself into an actual attack. That is precisely what my special techniques do."
In demonstration, Shower suddenly pressed her hands tightly against the sides of the cup she was holding, and an instant later, her hands suddenly flashed a bright blue.
K-crack! Shampoo raised an eyebrow as the cup suddenly split in two, having been frozen solid, along with its contents. Shower lazily dropped the frozen article on the floor and pushed it away carelessly.
"That was a projection of ki. There are different ways to do it, and different effects you can get..."
Shampoo nodded quickly, remembering the types of ki attacks she had seen from Tomas, and what Ranma had told her about Min's technique. She thought about Ranma's attacks too, but reasoned that summoning dark energy from a God of chaos was probably a little different from ki manipulation.
"... But anyway, certain schools of ki mastery, such as ours, reason that since ki is a mostly mental energy, it must therefore be closely tied to our state of mind as well as our strength of will." Shower continued her explanation even as the point of her lecture finally started to dawn on Shampoo. "Your emotions, your personality, your mental conditioning, they all affect the ebb and flow of ki, inside your body and out. And for my ki techniques to be used, a certain emotional state must be reached. And maintained, at that. A state that, unfortunately, is beyond you."
"You... You mean..." Shampoo mumbled weakly.
Shower nodded. "Correct. You've probably heard of it. The 'soul of ice'." Krshk! Holding up a single finger, Shower suddenly caused a small ice crystal to grow on her fingertip, branching upwards and dropping tiny shards of frost on her robe. "In order to use the hiryuu shouten ha, the soul of ice must be maintained long enough for an opponent to complete a spiral around you, and for you to launch a single uppercut. That's a window of about fifteen, maybe twenty seconds. That's not NEARLY long enough to use my attacks effectively in battle, never mind learn them in the first place. A passionate, fiery young woman such as yourself simply couldn't manage that for an extended period of time, unless we went about permanently altering your personality." She shrugged. "Which can be done, but I'm pretty sure you didn't want to leave this place an altogether different person, much less a cold, bitter one."
Shampoo gulped. She had thought that Shower had an unusual personality for a martial arts master, but she hadn't considered that it was actually part of the woman's fighting style. That changed things significantly.
"So you see, I really wouldn't mind training you, but... you're just, well... too 'hot', emotion-wise."
Shampoo nodded silently, her head down so that her bangs covered her eyes.

Shower shrugged and started to get up, assuming that the younger woman was quite distraught, and needed some time to come to terms with the fact that she'd be leaving here empty-handed.
"Miss Shower," Shampoo said suddenly, no longer addressing the elder as "master", "do you think you could tell me... what happened after you left China?"
"Uhn? A-After..." Shower stopped, stunned.
"In Amazon village, they tell many story about you, and say you leave China with weak Japanese man as husband in shame and disgrace. This true?" Shampoo asked. There was no ridicule or accusation in her expression, only curiosity, and the elder Amazon relaxed a little bit.
"Ah... well..." for the first time since Shampoo had met her, Shower seemed completely at a loss for words. "Maybe first, you'll tell me exactly what kinds of stories they tell about me?"
Shampoo pursed her lips, then began slowly, unsure of what kind of reaction she should expect from the other woman.
"They say that you very strong warrior, learn tribe most sacred technique at early age and develop secret fighting style around it. But one day, you go hunting with sister Amazon and spring hunter trap while chase prey."
"Urgh..." Shower sweatdropped.
"Trap injure leg bad, and friend help get free. Then hunter, who weak Japanese man who use trap and gun kill animal, check on trap. When he apologize for setting trap, you attack."
"Erhm..." Another sweatdrop appeared.
"Difficult fight with bad leg, and you chase hunter all over forest, but no can catch up. Soon, you step on snare hunter set, and get caught."
"Uhnn..." Shower sighed and looked downcast as a third sweatdrop rolled down her head.
"You very mad, so while you stuck hang from snare trap, hunter knock you out so can get you free. This way, he beat you, and you have to marry. But hunter no understand, and go home to Japan. You disgraced for marry weak man who beat you, so you thrown out of village to go with husband." Shampoo finished her retelling of the story, and winced when she saw the elder Amazon's expression. "Er... that how story go, anyway. Is wrong?"
"That... Th-That story..." Shower mumbled, resting her hands in her lap, "is quite accurate. Heh." Though one could technically call it a laugh, the old woman didn't smile. "And here I thought those fools back at the village were clever. Is a little embellishment really beyond them?"
"Miss Shower?" Shampoo asked cautiously, hoping she hadn't offended the other woman. Even if the elder Amazon was no longer a possible option for training, she was still worthy of respect, and Shampoo hoped her curiosity hadn't caused Shower further humiliation.
This time, the older woman did smile faintly. "Oh, don't mind me. I just wish they had come up with something a little more fantastical or even more embarrassing, so that I could call the tale rubbish and be done with it. But no, that's exactly how it happened, and I really have no excuse. For some reason the sight of that short, lanky man awkwardly toting his rifle and begging forgiveness for injuring my leg just caused a... surge of heat, you might call it. As you might imagine, I'm usually quite slow to anger, and quite rational."
"Aiyah... was that time of month?" Shampoo guessed, causing the older woman to flush.
"Er... well... I don't exactly recall..." Shower grumbled. "Shiro always had this... way of getting to me. It was disconcerting, and I didn't like it. I followed him here all right, and explained my marriage to him firmly, but I always treated our being married like a prison sentence, especially when I found that he would not go to China so that I could rejoin the village. But I stuck to him, and forced him to accept me as his wife."
Shampoo made a face. "So... you no like husband... husband not want marry you... you force marry anyway because of law..." she was silent for several moments. "You have boring wedding night, yes?"
A nervous smile crept up onto Shower's lips. "Well, there WAS no actual wedding, but yeah, you get the idea. Learning to live with him without constantly remembering my stupidity and humiliation came first; as far as I was concerned, maritals could wait. Even when he finally warmed up to me and started treating me like a wife instead of a stalker, I still kept him at arm's length. I was cold before, but that cool nerve turned to bitterness and hate. I hated my tribe for imposing those stupid laws, and I hated myself for getting in this situation and being unable to adjust to it."
"You hate man too, yes?" Shampoo guessed.
Shower frowned. "No. No, I could never quite reach the point of hating little old Shiro. And it wasn't because he was a blameless victim of circumstance as well. I don't really know how to explain it, but... I just spent enough time around him, and I guess he started to get to me."
"Ah?! You fall in love with trapper?" Shampoo asked excitedly, now very glad that she had brought up the topic.
"Erm... well... n-no, it's just... uh..." Shower's face suddenly flushed red, and Shampoo blinked. Even after such a brief time, the elder Amazon's icy expression had left such an impression that Shampoo couldn't believe that such a reaction was possible for her. It just seemed impossible and wrong, like a crab getting a sunburn.
"Sigh. Yes, I suppose I did fall in love with him. I... I didn't want to admit it, and even now, after he's dead, I have trouble admitting it. But I did love him. Maybe it was because he was charming in his own way, or maybe it's because... you know, because I was his wife and lived with him, but eventually I accepted him as a husband, rather than a punishment."
Shampoo waited for the elder woman to finish before she asked the question that had caught her by surprise. "Ah, so... husband dead, then?"
"Well, I don't know, do you SEE him around here?" The old Amazon drawled. "Of course he's dead. He was actually a good ten years older than I was when we were 'married', and himself had already lost his first wife to an avalanche two years prior. These Japanese do good, but they don't age quite as stubbornly as we do."
Shampoo sweatdropped. That was an unusual, but very appropriate, way to describe the elders' abilities to evade death for centuries on end.
"Anyway, even though I could admit it to myself that I loved him, and I knew that he loved me, I found that I didn't know how to express it properly." Shampoo started to say something, but Shower quickly cut her off. "Don't start. I'm sure that showing affection is a simple matter for you, but for me it wasn't just a matter of pride. Because of my training, my personality had been submerged so deeply, and so fully, into the soul of ice that I became unable to express any feelings of warmth normally. And whenever I did break from the technique that had been the mainstay of my training, it was so disorienting and chaotic that my emotions raged out of control, and I grew angry and hateful. I was a warrior through and through, to the point that being a wife seemed beyond me."
She sighed again when Shampoo began to sniffle. "Oh, stop that. Don't go feeling sorry for me; it was my own damn fault, from start to finish. If I was going to give my entire life to martial arts, then I shouldn't have lost in the first place. And I was certainly warned about the effects that the soul of ice could have on a person if I grew too dependant on it. And even if I do have regrets, this life hasn't been so bad for me. I still have a house, a small rural business out of the quarry, and a few good friends."
Shampoo sniffled again anyway, and wiped a tear from her eye. "Is still so sad, though..."
"Bah. Spoken like a lovesick teenager," Shower mumbled, staring at her frozen and broken tea cup on the floor. 'Wish I hadn't done that... I'm getting thirsty.' Then she turned back to the younger Amazon. "Speaking of which, you never explained what you were doing in Japan, anyway."
"Uh? Sh-Shampoo tell you. Shampoo here visit good friend what live in Japan."
"So you say, with your face flushed bright red," Shower said morosely, "so might I assume that this 'good friend' is a handsome, virile young man?"
"Urk!" Shampoo blushed even brighter, though her lips slowly curled into a smile. "You very good read people, yes?"
"I find that interpreting other people's expressions compliments my natural advantage of not showing any," the elder explained. "So, you found this boy in China, and tracked him to Japan? I have to assume you're not married, given that you call him a mere 'friend'." She shrugged. "It can't be helped, I'm afraid. Most of the Japanese aren't much for fighting these days, and those idiots at the village would never let a warrior of any stature marry an outsider who wasn't a stronger fighter."
Shampoo sweatdropped. "Erm... that actually not problem. Ranma much, much stronger than Shampoo."
Shower stared. "Oh. Okay. So what's the hold up, then? Challenge this Ranma kid to a formal match: slam, wham, you're married. Don't tell me you're too shy."
"That... what is word? Complicated," the younger Amazon mumbled. Not that she would mind simply declaring herself Ranma's wife and throwing herself into his arms, but given that such an arrangement had already been annulled once due to Ranma being a berserk, psychotic killing machine at the time, she doubted that it would fly a second time, even if he was sane when he defeated her. As far as the Amazons were concerned, Ranma was an uncontrollable monster, and they were doing him the greatest of favors by allowing him to live.
"Besides," Shampoo said suddenly, raising her head and suddenly looking overly dignified, "Shampoo not want have Ranma that way. Want Ranma marry Shampoo because he love Shampoo, not because law say so."
"Pfft! Kids," Shower snorted condescendingly. "But hey, whatever. I'll give you some advice though - if you really want to take romantic advice from an old, broken-down, childless widow - if you really want him, do whatever it takes to get him; trick him, seduce him, use magic on him, whatever. Your stupid romantic nonsense is all well and good, but if you don't keep your head straight, he'll slip through your fingers."
Shampoo raised an eyebrow, then scratched her head. "Shampoo..." she began, then hesitated. "... Shampoo not sure what think about that."
Shower shrugged and stared at the wall, looking bored. "So. Tell me about him."
Shampoo blinked, startled. "What?"
"This Ranma fellow. He must be something if you crossed an ocean just to be good friends with him, huh?"
Shampoo sweatdropped. How could someone ask that kind of question while looking so perfectly disinterested? She wasn't even sure if the elder Amazon was listening for an answer.
"Ah, well... Ranma handsome, and strong, but... but also have much kindness. He act like dumb man sometimes, and get big ego, but Ranma do anything for friend." She spoke more softly the longer she talked, and Shower stopped staring at the wall and finally turned to look at her. "When Ranma come to village first, he do very bad thing; hurt many people. But when come to senses, guilt of actions hurt far more than wound. But Ranma not give up, and suffer punishment and hate from village people while fix damage. He there long time before earn Shampoo respect and village forgiveness. But he not stop until we forgive. And even then, he not forgive self. He very compassionate that way."
"When Mousse come and take Shampoo, Ranma come to rescue Shampoo. Mousse give bad beating, and Ranma look like not win, but refuse give up on Shampoo. If Shampoo not helped, Ranma be dead..." she spoke the last part in a bare whisper, the memory of seeing Ranma smashed to within an inch of his life in her defense causing twin surges of warmth and pain deep within her chest.
Then her features hardened into a mask of determination. "That why Shampoo need get stronger. No be burden to Ranma! Shampoo defend self, and fight for self!"
Shower thought about that for a moment. "But doesn't it turn you on to see this guy fight on your behalf?"
Shampoo's determined mask flushed a bright red shade. "Th-That not point! What kind warrior Shampoo be if depend on other do all fighting?"
"Well now, that depends; would you rather be a warrior or a wife? And do you want this boy as your rival or your lover? You can always have both, I suppose, but that gets... complicated. If you really love the guy, cook for him and keep up in bed. You don't need martial arts for that."
Shampoo stared, still off-balance by the way Shower could speak of such a topic with the same bored expression on her face. "Like you say, what you know about these things?" She said finally, slightly miffed that the elder Amazon would suggest a docile role for her. After all, if she quit martial arts, then she quit the greater part of her sixteen years of life so far, and she wasn't ready to throw that away just yet.
Shower raised an eyebrow. "Well now, I know a little about it. Whether you're good at it or not, one doesn't stay married for that long without learning a thing or two about men and women."
"But you say you not able to..." Shampoo began making strange hand gestures, and Shower quickly cut her off.
"No, no, that's not it. I mean, it WAS a pain, but we did get to trying to make babies eventually," the old widow mumbled. "It didn't go very well, though. I had to use this old meditation technique, and..."
Shampoo waited patiently as Shower froze in mid-thought. "And?"
"And why didn't I think of that sooner?" Shower muttered to herself. "Yes... if we altered it that way... and then... the side-effects wouldn't be as..."
The younger Amazon frowned as Shower kept mumbling to herself. "What wrong?"
Shower nodded sharply, then slowly stood up. "Nothing's wrong, Shampoo. Now I want you to go to bed now. Get plenty of rest, and DON'T get up at dawn tomorrow. I've decided that I'll train you after all."
Shampoo gaped. "But... what you say... technique no work?"
"I may have a way around it," Shower said simply, shrugging her shoulders. "Now go to bed. I have some studying to do..."
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Ranma scrubbed his hair with one hand as he walked down the sparsely populated sidewalk, deep in thought about the events of the previous evening.
Meeting his father's old master had been a volatile and unpleasant affair, even if it had a relatively happy ending. Try as he might, Ranma couldn't imagine Iori ever kowtowing to the goofy, lecherous master of Anything-Goes, and worse, now he had doubts about that part of his fighting style. How did such a worthless excuse for a human being come to create such an effective combat style?
Ranma cocked his head to one side as something new occurred to him. He was told that Happousai was the grandmaster of the Anything-Goes school, but that didn't mean that he had created it. Though that didn't answer the question as to how such a measly, amoral, and reputedly lazy man rose to such ranks in the martial arts. While it certainly helped, Ranma couldn't imagine learning the nuances of a complicated and adaptable fighting style just to aid in the theft of booze and underwear.
'Stealing panties, anyway... who the heck does that?' Ranma thought to himself, frowning deeply. 'I mean, what would you DO with them? Is there a lingerie black market? Even if there is, he could probably still make more off the booze.'
The pigtailed boy continued down the street at a leisurely pace, still embroiled in thoughts of underclothes and its place in the criminal underworld.
Of course, the greater objective was to distract himself from his destination, which was Min's house. Despite himself, he was feeling somewhat nervous about going out on a real date, and he figured the best way to approach it was not to think about it, and put Tomas' training to the test when the time came.
In the meantime, there was plenty to think about. The old gnome that had once been Iori's master had promised to return, though Ranma couldn't imagine why. His father was an incredibly dangerous fighter, and unless the old freak wanted to take Nodoka and Yurumi's underwear, it didn't seem like there was anything at the Yagami household that he'd want.
'And what about Mousse?' Ranma thought. He was under no illusions that he'd seen the last of that idiot. If the myopic half-monster was stubborn enough to fight against ten or so years of rejection from the girl he pined for, Ranma saw no reason to hope that he'd give up trying to kill him after losing on the first try.
'Which is why I carry a metal canteen around now, instead of just a cup,' he thought to himself, fingering the heavy metal case in his jacket pocket. The water was cold, on the off chance that he'd have to turn into a girl, but when the need for hot water arose, he could use his flames to heat it to boiling in seconds.
"Have at thee, cur!"

So deep was Ranma in thought, that he didn't immediately attach the words to a person he knew, or even realize he was being attacked, until he felt the stinging pain in his arm from having blocked the bokken swing on reflex.
"The hell? Kuno?" Ranma mumbled, coming to his senses much more slowly than he really should have. "What're you doing here? It's not a school day... and we're not at school."
"You think yourself safe from my wrath when off-campus? HA!! My fury knows not such feeble boundaries!" Kuno backed up and then struck forward again, and Ranma once again deflected the blow, this time in such a way that he didn't hurt himself.
"Don't you have any HOBBIES or anything?" The pigtailed boy said tiredly. "You can't devote your whole life to beating me up, man. I mean, that's just sad. Don't you have anything better to do?" He blocked two more strikes, hopping backward as he did so. "What about Akane? Can't you go read poetry to Akane or something?"
"Silence!" Tatewaki bellowed, changing stances so that he could attack with overhead strikes. "As devoted as I am to Akane Tendo, how could I rest, knowing that lowly slime such as yourself would think yourself WORTHY to date with the glorious and... generously gifted Min Bogard!" he shouted accusedly, though the pause in his rant made Ranma wonder exactly what "gift" of Min's he was referring to.
Ranma sighed and rubbed his forehead as he kicked upward, snapping Kuno's bokken in two. "I don't suppose it matters that she asked me to take her out, does it?"
"LIES!! HATEFUL LIES AND TREACHERY AND... uh... TREACHEROUS LIES THAT HATE!!" the kendoist cried desperately, waving the broken bokken wildly at Ranma as if unaware that its length had been reduced by half.
"Look, Kuno, it's not that I don't hate your guts or nothin', because I do," Ranma said apologetically as he backed off, slipping his hands into his pockets, "but I'm afraid this little archrivalry thing we have going here, you know, where you attack me for some reason made up on the spot and I blast you with a comical level of indifference? It's just not working out anymore."
Kuno stopped ranting, and gave Ranma a curious look as he panted, out of breath. "It's... it's not?"
"No, it's not. I mean, it was fun at first, knowing that I could whoop the biggest bully in school with both hands in my pockets, and it feels great to fight somebody because chicks like me and think you're an ass. But, well..." Ranma scratched the back of his head as he searched for the right words. "It's just, you're not really what I'm looking for in a serious archrivalry, and it's time to move on. I think we should start fighting other people," he finally blurted, shrugging apologetically.
Kuno stepped back, his mouth agape. "Is... Is there someone else?"
The pigtailed boy nodded. "Yeah, actually there is. You see, I met this guy the other day, and, well... he turns into a monster, okay? We duked it out a bit, he beat me to within an inch of my life, and I managed to eke out a victory at the last moment with a brilliant diversion tactic. I mean, he's immune to my flame powers, he plays a key role in my dark and vaguely angst-ridden past, we have perfect chemistry together! Or, you know, against each other. Whatever."
"So, that's it then?" Kuno asked angrily, hot tears beginning to fall from his eyes. "You savagely beat me a few times, and that's it? It's over? Were you just using me all this time to sate your blasted ego?!"
"Hey, hey, don't be like that, man," Ranma said softly, patting the taller boy on the shoulder. "You'll find yourself a real archrival someday! I know it! You're going to make some poor loser a great enemy, mark my words! And besides, we can still loathe each other! We just won't fight anymore!"
"IT'S NOT THE SAME!!" Kuno sobbed, turning dramatically and sprinting away, dropping his shattered bokken in the process as he fled to a nearby walkway bench and collapsed onto it.
Ranma sighed and turned away, knowing that there was nothing he could do that could remedy the situation. "Man... that was way harder than just socking him in the jaw. I hope love isn't this complicated."

Across the street, Hashiru and Tomas watched Ranma turn and walk down the street with his hands in his pockets, having been present to witness the scene by sheer coincidence.
"Is it just me, or did that whole conversation seem creepy to you too?" Tomas mumbled, looking uneasy.
Hashiru shook his head, apparently disagreeing. "Hmph. Americans." Then he crossed the street, and slowly approached the crying kendoist with Tomas trailing behind him curiously.
"Hey there, you feeling better now?" Hashiru asked gently, squeezing Kuno's shoulder.
Tatewaki shook his head violently, not looking up at the other two fighters.
Hashiru smiled softly. "Would some chocolate ice cream help?"
Kuno sniffled, and looked up slowly. "I... I guess..."
"Come on. Let's go get some chocolate ice cream," the gang boss said, helping the grief-stricken kendoist off the bench.
Still sniffling pathetically, Kuno slowly nodded, and followed Hashiru down the street toward the nearest ice cream parlor.
Tomas remained behind for a moment, trying to make sense of what he just saw. "Goddamnit. Every time I finally think I have the Japanese figured out, they come up with a new kind of weirdness to throw in my face." Shaking his head, he started to run forward, intent on following them. Confused or not, he wasn't about to turn down ice cream, after all.
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Ding dong!
Mai turned away from the dinner she was preparing and headed for the front door, idly wiping her hands on a kitchen towel. 'Ranma must be here to take Min out,' she mused, smiling.
Just like Andy, Mai had held her own suspicions and concerns when she found out that the son of one of the most notorious and savage fighters on the planet lived within walking distance of her house, and it had taken a few hard drinks to allow it to sink in such that she could fully process the idea that her daughter intended to court the young man.
Unlike Andy, however, Mai had met Ranma, and talked with him. And had decided quite readily that she liked Ranma. He was energetic, good-natured, entirely rational, respectful without being unnecessarily polite, attractive, and had a sort of indifferent naivete that assured her that he didn't see Min as an object or conquest. Really, the curse to turn into a girl was the most concerning thing about him, and frankly, if Min could live with it, then Mai couldn't think of a reason to care. All in all, he was pretty much the best she could expect to find with a girl who preferred tough, self-confident fighters as boyfriends. His reaction to women even reminded Mai of her husband to an extent, though Ranma seemed more clueless than inhibited.
'Well, whatever keeps him out of Min's pants until Andy warms up to him,' she thought, opening the door.
"Hey Mrs. Bogard. How's it going?" Ranma asked casually, bowing slightly.
Mai smiled. "Hi Ranma. Min is-"
Whoosh!
Mai whirled as she was suddenly lurched from where she stood, and then almost fell down as she fought to regain her footing, having been forcibly and quickly relocated several meters backward without her consent.

Ranma blinked as Mai was jerked back suddenly, and then replaced almost in the same instant by a tall, muscular blond man.
"Uh... hi. Mr. Bogard, right?" Ranma guessed, not feeling overly worried when he looked at the taller man.
"Right. Name's Andy Bogard; you can call me Andy," he said, smiling. "Min won't be ready for a few minutes. Why don't you come into the living room and have a seat?"
"Okay, thanks," Ranma said cheerfully as Andy placed and hand on his shoulder and led him in.
"Ahem! Andy, dear," Mai said in an overly-cheerful tone, her left eye twitching.
Andy just looked at his wife and smiled broadly. "Oh, don't worry! I just want to get to know the guy! You know, have a little man-to-man talk!"
"Sounds fine to me," Ranma said, remembering that the man had supposedly been among the world's best martial artists many years back.
'Yes. Definitely clueless,' Mai thought to herself as she planted her hands on her hips. "Andy, DEAR, Min will be ready to go any second now. If you're going to talk to him, do it right here where-"
"Wow, are you making baked mackerel tonight?" Andy said suddenly, sniffing the air. "Excellent! It's been a long time!"
Mai twitched as she remembered her cooking. 'He's rehearsed this conversation... well played, husband.'
"Lemme tell ya, Ranma, there's nothing quite like Mai's baked fish. It's almost a shame you can't stay and eat here!" Andy continued, causing Mai to grimace as she realized she had been outmaneuvered.
Ranma blinked, then raised an eyebrow. "Huh... is that an option?" He asked hopefully, smelling the pleasant aroma coming from the kitchen.
"NO, it's not," Mai said firmly, noting that Andy had paused to consider it. "I prepared dinner expecting one person less than usual, so there's not enough food." Then she pursed her lips. "Well, I have to get back to cooking. Dear, please be nice, okay?"

Ranma scratched the back of his head as Mai retreated back to the source of the delicious smell. Andy was being perfectly nice to him; what was the problem?
He took a seat on the sofa as Andy led him into the living room, and waited patiently for the older man to introduce a topic of conversation.
"So, Ranma," Andy said finally, still smiling the same phony smile. "Tell me, do you date much?"
"Nah, not really," Ranma admitted, sighing. "The last time I went out with someone, I ended up going crazy and nearly killing her later."
Andy started to nod, then froze and blinked. "Wait... what?"
"I said, no, I don't really date much," Ranma reiterated.
"Oh... er..." putting aside whatever else it was that Ranma had said, Andy sat down next to the young man on the couch. "So Ranma, tell me... have you ever gone all the way with a girl before?"
Ranma blinked. "Gone all the way where?"
"I see..." Andy murmured, just making Ranma more confused. "You know that Min's not easy, right?"
"Not easy? Easy to what?" Ranma asked, quickly growing annoyed by the incomplete sentences.
'Hmph. He's either really clueless or a really good actor,' Andy thought, not quite ready to assume Ranma was safe to have around his daughter.
He placed his arm behind Ranma's back, and clasped the shoulder opposite him. "Look, Ranma, I'll admit that I don't know you very well, but I've decided that I like you. Mostly for the sake of my daughter, who also likes you."
"Okay..." Ranma said slowly, noting that Andy's "friendly" shoulder clasp was starting to tighten painfully.
"To that end, I don't want to have to hurt you. But as a loving and responsible father, I'm going to have to hurt you if you take advantage of my daughter."
Ranma grimaced as Andy's fingers dug deeply into his shoulder. "Ah. I... see."
"So I'm asking you, as a personal favor to me, to observe some rules tonight, so that I don't have to end this comfortable friendship we share."
"Actually, this friendship is getting less comfortable by the second," Ranma complained, inwardly marveling at how strong the older man was. Even Hashiru would have had trouble exerting so much force so casually.
Andy ignored the pigtailed boy's discomfort. "Rule number one: you are allowed only to touch Min's arms, hands, and shoulders at any time. Certain parts of the head and the feet are allowed under extenuating circumstances. If your hands contact any other part of her body, it will result in their eventual removal."
"From her body?" Ranma asked for clarification. Then he gulped as Andy stared at him leadenly. "Oh. Okay. Understood. Next rule?"
Andy nodded, glad that Ranma seemed receptive to this. "Rule number two: you are responsible for keeping Min FULLY CLOTHED at all times during your date. Meaning that her shirt and pants stay ON, no matter what. Meaning I will kick your ass if she ends up naked, even if it's not your fault."
"Uh... what about her costume?" Ranma said hesitantly. "The weird, braless Ninja outfit. How do I keep her from changing into that? I mean, all she does is twirl around..."
Andy remained silent for several moments, then released some of the pressure on Ranma's shoulder. "Fair question. Though I can't imagine why she would go change into that on a date, if it happens, I suppose I'll give you a chance to explain yourself."
"Great," Ranma deadpanned. "Anything else?"
"Just one more thing. It true you turn into a girl?" The blond man asked bluntly.
"Yeah... why?" Ranma asked hesitantly. Ordinarily he would have assumed the man wanted proof of his curse, probably in the form of a demonstration. But by now he had realized that this conversation wasn't ordinary.
"Is there any possibility that you could spend the entire evening female?"
Ranma's mouth opened, but nothing came out other than weak sputtering and gasping noises.

Just as the older man was about to repeat his request, rescue came in the form of an excited greeting from the stairs.
"Hi Ranma! Sorry I'm a little late getting ready!" Min said cheerfully, descending the stairs wearing a strapless blue blouse and a black miniskirt, and wearing her hair in a bun pinned to the back of her head.
"Oh, no problem," Ranma murmured, averting his eyes quickly. He knew from Tomas and Mai's training that he was on trial so long as he was under Andy's gaze, and that so long as he was judged, he had to act as respectful, polite, and uninterested in his date as he possibly could. "How's Italian food sound tonight?"
"Sounds good," Min said less enthusiastically, noting that Ranma didn't seem particularly enthralled by her appearance. It took most men a good eight seconds to recover the ability for speech when she came down the stairs.
'Then again, it looks like Daddy's watching him pretty closely. Hmmm...' She frowned as she followed Ranma to the door. It was unusual for her father to get involved in her love life; he might have had a protective personality, but he was also quite intelligent, and realized that Min could defend herself better than most Yakuza hideouts if someone were to make a move she disapproved of. The situation with Ranma was SLIGHTLY different, since he had managed to defeat her without serious difficulty, but she still didn't understand why her father might try to keep Ranma in line himself.

The young couple left the area of the front lawn, and made their way down the street at a brisk pace, walking in silence. Then, once Min was absolutely sure that no one could hear or see them from her family's property, she turned toward her date.
"So, you were talking to Dad while you were waiting for me?" Min asked out of the blue. "He didn't, you know, say anything weird, did he?"
"Nah, we were just chatting about stuff. I guess he wanted to get to know me a little better." Ranma had no intention of telling Min that Andy had threatened him; really, there was no need to. He had none of the intentions toward Min that Andy so feared anyway. And making Min defend him would have been cowardly, besides.
Min nodded slowly, accepting the answer. Then she tugged on her blouse. "So, what do you think of my outfit?"
"It looks good on you!" Ranma said quickly. "Where'd you get it?"
The pigtailed boy quickly zoned out as Min responded, not at all interested in where the buxom Ninja shopped for clothes. 'That's right, just like Tomas taught you. Just let her talk until she asks you a question...'
"-and besides, I'd rather be smart and thrifty than 'in-fashion', y'know? What does it really matter if you don't have super-expensive jeans? How about you? Where do you usually get your clothes?"
Ranma blinked repeatedly, having barely brought himself back to attention in time to catch the last sentence. "Uh, well, my pop always buys me clothes. I wear pretty much the same kinds of clothes that he does."
Min made a face. "You let your DAD pick out your wardrobe?"
'Huh? What's with that look? What'd I do wrong?' Ranma thought as he began to stumble over words. 'Dang! I forgot to lie! And it seemed like such a simple question, too... Quick! Diversion tactic!' "That skirt looks kind of hard to fight in, don't you think?"
Min seemed surprised at the sudden change in topics, but adapted easily enough. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Though I was kind of hoping to get through the evening without kicking anyone in the face," she said smirking.
Ranma nodded mechanically. "Yeah, you're right. And I guess you could always just twirl around and change into the Ninja getup, huh?"
She blinked. "Well, no, actually. I didn't bring it." Then her smirk returned. "Why? Were you hoping to get in some... 'practice' tonight?"
'Dangerous flirting! Red zone! Red zone! Complete stop!' "N-No! Nothing like that! But, y'know, I figured that you'd go everywhere ready to fight if you could. Or maybe it's just me." 'Move to reverse! Release decoy chaff!' "You know, since I spent so many years training when I was a kid. I was on a few training trips out west for a couple of years at a time."
"Really? Whoa! No wonder you're good!" Min crowed, idly wondering about why Ranma let out a sigh of relief.
"Ah, well, I've put in the hours, ya know?" Ranma said far more humbly than usual, keeping in mind that he had to move the topic of conversation back to Min as quickly as possible. "What about you? Was it hard keeping up the regimen when you had to go to school and everything?"
"Well, it's hardly a drag to put LESS effort into something as hard as combat training, but yeah, it was. I didn't keep as many friends growing up as most girls, but that's okay. You see, I really..."
Ranma once again settled into a comfortable daze as they walked down the street to the restaurant. 'This is perfect. I can do this. She can't even tell I'm not listening to her!' "Uh huh. That doesn't sound too bad," he responded automatically when she paused.
"Yeah, I guess you wouldn't think so, huh? Didn't you go to China during your trip? You met Shampoo there, right?" Min asked eagerly.
"It wasn't very interesting," Ranma lied. "Tell me more about Ninjitsu."
The pigtailed boy smirked as she happily did so. 'No problem at all. Ha! Dating is a breeze!'
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Min wasn't overly impressed when they reached the restaurant Ranma had selected, which was a small mid-priced pasta joint in the middle of a shopping center, but reasoned she had no right to expect better. It was supposed to be a casual evening, and she was well aware that Ranma wasn't known for his money, even if his parents were supposedly well-off; which was just fine, ultimately, as she strongly disliked guys who flashed around their wallets to impress women.
As for Ranma, he was especially proud when he opened the door to the restaurant to let Min inside. While the second part of the date, a short movie, had been arranged by Mai, Ranma had chosen the restaurant himself.
Min took a good look around once they got inside and waited for a server. It was a small and sparsely furnished place, with thick, worn wooden tables and booths with weak, rustic-looking ceiling lamps, giving the restaurant a distinct impression of being run-down without being a dump. Each table had small wax candle in the center, to compensate for the poor light, and also add mood to what would doubtless otherwise be a simple and cheap meal.
Noting the other couples seated around the place, staring into each others' eyes by candle light, Min mentally marked a few more points on Ranma's scorecard in her mind. 'Not bad... not bad at all.' Of course, she wasn't big on Italian food, but he was obviously trying.
Before long a slightly older girl came with a pair of menus and guided them to a booth off in the corner.
'Dang, here's a gorgeous couple,' the waitress thought, feeling quite envious of Ranma's date, and inwardly wondering why they wouldn't opt for a more high-class restaurant. 'Eh, maybe the guy's a cheapskate. Still a hunk, though.' "Please, have a seat. I'll be back in a few minutes to take your order."
"Thanks," the pair murmured, sliding into the relatively narrow booth seats.
Then the waitress gestured to the candle sitting in the center of the table. "Would you like me to light this for you?"
Ranma smirked, having prepared for this moment. "Nah, thanks. I got it." Then he raised a hand and casually snapped his fingers.
Poof! Immediately a small purple flame materialized on the wick, and Min and the waitress both gasped slightly in surprise.
'I am SO cool,' Ranma thought to himself as Min's surprise dissolved into a deep smile.
It took the waitress a little longer to recover, not having been already aware that the pigtailed boy could summon dark hellfire at will. "Oh! Uh... okay then. Be back in a few," she said hesitantly, staring at the purple fire as she slowly walked away, and almost stumbling into another waitress as a result.
Min grinned from across the table. "Did you take me here specifically so you could do that?"
"Nah," Ranma said, remembering to lie again, "I like the food, is all."
"Do you usually take your dates here?"
"Uh. No, not really." 'Why does everybody think I date a lot?' "How about you? Where do you usually go?"
Min sighed. "Oh, y'know, guys usually take me to these high-class ritzy joints with the big fountains and chandeliers and the whole bit. The food's always twice as expensive as it should be, and if you're wearing jeans they won't even let you in."
"Huh." Were Ranma actually listening, rather than staring intently at the candle flame and manipulating its slight, flickering movements for his own amusement, then he probably would have started to feel embarrassed about what a cheap restaurant he'd chosen. As it was though, his only thought was whether or not he could manage to fire a projectile spark from the candle flame (hopefully at something other than his date).
"It didn't make sense to me, really," Min admitted, "I mean, I'm pretty sure some of these guys sank into debt taking me to these places, and I never really had a good time. If they wanted to spend lots of money to impress me, then they could've skimped on the restaurant and just bought me a present, you know?"
Ranma nodded mechanically, prompting Min to continue.
"But then again, money doesn't really impress me anyway." Then her eyes narrowed, and she smirked across the table. "Now that finishing move of yours, though, THAT impresses me."
Ranma chuckled lightly, having found a way to shoot small, bluish sparks up into the air from the top of the candle flame.
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Ranma and Min's time at the restaurant passed without incident, Min enjoying herself greatly as she chatted about herself, her family, and her martial arts style, and Ranma carefully utilizing Tomas' dating lessons while trying to determine if he could create a technique to make objects burst into flames several feet away without physical contact.
After the waitress finally came back they ordered their dinner, and then once again returned to conversation. Meaning Min got back to talking, and Ranma got back to distracting himself while he kept Min talking.
"Anyway, why don't you tell me about your father?" The buxom Ninja asked, propping her head up on her hands with her elbows resting on the table. "I guess my folks know him from the old tournaments, but they really haven't told me much about him."
Ranma shrugged. "Eh, there isn't really too much to say about Pop. He's really, really strong, but other than that, he's just a normal father, y'know?" Mentally, Ranma marveled at how well it was working out simply lying through his teeth every time he was asked something specific.
"Huh. Really? Mine too, actually," Min mumbled. "You'd think a guy who was supposed to be one of the most powerful fighters on the planet would be more... well, eccentric, you know? Or cold and hard, maybe."
Ranma sweatdropped. 'Well, some of them sure are,' he thought, thinking of his father.
"Really, it's my mom that's a little out there." Min sighed, but didn't elaborate on her description, finding it a little embarrassing. Not that there was anything wrong with her mother being a quasi-hitwoman for various detectives before her last two children, having a sex drive that impressed her teenage daughter, or teaching said daughter various forms of thiefcraft, but it still wasn't the type of thing she wanted Ranma to know about her family so soon.
"What kind of style does your dad practice?" Ranma asked, actually getting interested in this topic. An ex-world-class fighter would be quite a foe to go up against, after all, and the pigtailed man found himself wondering how his natural skill and hard-won ability would stand up to someone past his prime with that much experience.
Min stopped to think, scratching her chin. "Well... his base style is the Shiranui family Ninjitsu, same as me and Mom. That's how they originally met, actually. But after he finished his training with great-grandfather, he branched off into Koppouken, which is an empty-handed Ninjitsu style that has a more solid grounding in ki use."
Ranma nodded, now paying rapt attention. "So is it anything like Tomas' style? His father and yours were brothers, right?"
Min shook her head. "They're brothers, but they trained under different masters."
"I see..." Ranma started formulating battle strategies in his mind as he contrasted Tomas' use of ki to Min's. 'Because it's a Ninjitsu derivative, Andy would probably use swifter projectile attacks, and favor aerial assaults instead of the raw power Tomas wields. Then again, that guy looks like a brawler, through and through. Maybe he'd use close-range attacks? Hmmmm...'
"But like I said, Dad's pretty normal, other than being able to smack around most martial arts masters like rag dolls," Min said. "Hey, that reminds me, does your sister have flame powers like you do?"
"Yeah, she does, but they're a bit more... volatile," Ranma admitted. "Between the two of us, it was pretty hard to keep the house insured while we were growing up. By now we have the fire department on speed dial."
Min laughed, and Ranma gave himself a mental pat on the back. It seemed to be smooth sailing from here.

As her laughter died, Min's smile shrank slightly as Ranma asked her about her sister Kikyo.
While she was having a good time, there was something that seemed... off about the entire evening. Not that there was anything wrong with how the evening was going, but rather, there seemed to be something missing. Something was... different than what she had expected, and inwardly, had dearly hoped for.
As she rattled off some amusing anecdotes about her little sister, Min wracked her brain trying to figure out what was bugging her. Ranma was being a perfect gentleman, had taken her to an excellent restaurant, even if it would not have been her first choice in cheap food, and seemed to be absolutely fascinated by her from the way he kept asking questions and staring into her eyes through the softly flickering candlelight.
'It's kind of odd, though,' Min thought, 'Ranma always seemed sort of, I don't know, dumb about conversation and social skills. And it's no wonder, if he spent most of his life on the road learning how to fight. He seemed so nervous when I asked him out, too. But he hasn't said a single word I haven't liked.'
She frowned as Ranma asked her about her brother. 'Come to think of it, this entire evening has gone REALLY smoothly. Too smoothly, actually. It's even a little boring. It's like he was completely prepared for this...'

Ranma became worried as Min frowned, and then grimaced as her eyes narrowed. 'Uh oh. Does she not like her brother? Change the subject!' "Actually, why don't you tell me about Tomas instead. Did you guys train a lot when you were younger?"
"Mmm, a little," Min said nonchalantly, relaxing her expression. Then her eyebrow rose and she pointed off to the side behind Ranma. "Wow. Look at that dress that woman has on! She's really pretty, don't you think so?"
All manner of alarms went off in Ranma's head. 'This is it! Moment of truth! Let's make Tomas proud!'
In a smooth, lazy motion, Ranma turned to look past his booth seat and then turned right back around. "Yeah, you're right. She is. So how hard was it for you to learn those fire-based ki attacks of yours?"
"Ranma, that's a potted plant," Min deadpanned.
Ranma blinked. Then he turned back around to confirm what Min had said. Then he turned back toward her. "Okay, wait, I don't get it. YOU pointed it out. Which of us is supposed to feel stupid?"
"You are," Min growled, reaching across the table and grabbing the pigtailed boy by the jacket. "Come on. We're leaving. Now."
"Wh-What? Why? What'd I do?" Ranma blubbered, looking panicked as Min dragged him from the booth and out the door, turning the heads of everybody else in the restaurant. "Wait! What about our food?"
"We haven't gotten it yet, so we don't have to pay for it!" Min growled, kicking open the door and shoving Ranma outside. "On your feet! Move it!"

Among the astonished diners, one of the waitresses shook her head sadly. "Poor sap. Looks like he 'aint getting any tonight."
A second waitress smirked. "Maybe not from her. If she doesn't drag him too far away before breaking up, there might be somebody else might be willing to take in a poor, abandoned boyfriend." She grinned and winked.
The first girl laughed. "Aw, such an angel, offering to mend his broken heart!"
"If that girl leaves enough to mend. I don't know why, but she was PISSED."
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"I don't understand! What did I do wrong? I swear, that plant wasn't nearly as pretty as you are!" Ranma babbled, trying to salvage the situation best he could.
Min fumed and finally let go of Ranma's sleeve, rounding on the pigtailed boy. "Ranma, you were coached on this date, weren't you?"
Ranma blinked. "Huh? Coached?"
"Coached! Trained! Studied! You didn't just do your homework, you memorized the whole freaking book! No matter what happened in there, no matter what I did or said, you just filled in the answer like I was a math test!" Min accused.
"In my defense... I think... I've always failed math tests," Ranma murmured. "Look, is THAT why you're angry at me? Because Tomas taught me what to do on our date?"
"YES!!" Min shouted. "You're supposed to be yourself!"
"Tomas advised strongly against that. As did your mom, actually," Ranma said honestly, shrugging. "Look, I don't get it; why do you care? You seemed to be enjoying yourself!"
"That's not the point, Ranma!" Min said in a huff, crossing her arms under her breasts. Seeing his helplessly confused look, she sighed, and some of her outrage evaporated. "Okay, look, it's like this. Ranma, if I wanted a guy to just stare at me while I talk and buy me dinner, then I wouldn't have asked you out. There are lots of guys like that who ask me out all the time, and many of them are more experienced and smoother than you are. Do you know why I came to you?"
Ranma hesitated for a long moment. "Is it my strong feminine side?" he guessed, realizing the biggest difference between him and pretty much every other man on the planet.
Min simply stared at him with an expression that practically shouted "You have GOT to be kidding me."
"Okay, fine! I don't know! Why?" Ranma admitted in a panic, giving up on containing the situation.
"It's your STRENGTH that attracted me to you," Min said bluntly, though a blush started creeping up on her features. "Looks and money and charm are nice and all, but nothing ever set my heart beating like that fight we had!" her face was completely red now, but she continued to speak with determination. "I like fighting! That's why I asked you out! You're the only man outside my immediate family to beat me! Seeing those punches sailing toward me and knowing that I had been dominated was the greatest thrill of my life!"
Ranma stared at Min for a moment as she slowly calmed herself after such a passionate confession. "So... is that supposed to be heartfelt and romantic, as opposed to, say, really creepy?"
"Creepy or not, I was expecting to go out with Ranma Yagami the fighter, not some school boy on test day reading notes from his arms!" Min seethed.
The pigtailed boy recoiled. "So THAT'S what gave me away? Damn!"
Min sweatdropped again. "Look, I don't WANT to be with someone who just nods his head and tries to sweet-talk me the whole time! It's not interesting! It's not challenging! It's not fun! I want a little trouble! Some resistance! Some arguments! Some fights! I want a man who I have to struggle with!"
Ranma twitched, his head throbbing as he tried to wrap his head around this newest obstacle. "But... I mean... Can't... Well... You were enjoying yourself!"
"I'm not here to enjoy myself!" Min shouted back. Then she hesitated. "Well, I mean, I AM here to enjoy myself, but, er... you know what I mean."
"No, I DON'T know what you mean." Ranma deadpanned, holding his head. "But look, why don't we just go back to the restaurant, sit down, and-WHOA!! BEHIND YOU!!" Ranma shouted, his eyes widening. "It's that monster that took Shampoo! He's back!"
Min whirled around, raising her arms in a defensive position and immediately cursing the fact that she hadn't packed any weapons or her Ninja outfit. "Damn! Where is it! Above?" She searched the sky, and her head zipped to all the nearby buildings, trying to get a good look at all possible angles of attack.
Unable to locate the enemy, she turned back toward Ranma. "Ranma, where is it? I... can't...... find........."
Or rather, she turned back toward the dark, empty street that used to contain Ranma.
A long, lonely silence dominated the street.
In the bushes nearby a cricket chirped. Thus giving itself away to a spider lying in wait, which silenced the rude interruption with vicious prejudice.
Min started to tremble as she balled her hands into fists, and a vein popped up on her head.
"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!! HE DITCHED ME!!" She screamed, her aura burning around her in a bright orange halo.
"So, are you gonna track him down, or does this mean he's free for the night?" A voice asked from behind her.
Min turned and gave a deadly look to one of the waitresses who had wandered out of the restaurant, apparently to watch the fight.
A stray cat that was crossing the street between the two suddenly twitched violently, and then fell comatose on the cement.
The waitress gulped and quickly backed away. "My, so busy tonight! I have to get back to work!"
Min turned back away and immediately began searching for clues as to Ranma's path of departure. 'No WAY are you getting away from me that easily!'
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'Must get away from the crazy lady,' Ranma thought to himself as he ran through a poorly lit park in his effort to completely lose his date.
'This is insane! Why would any man voluntarily put himself through this? Dating sucks! Never again! Never!' Ranma swore, diving behind some playground monkey bars and stopping to listen for sounds of pursuit.
After a moment of hearing nothing but nocturnal insects, Ranma nodded.
'Okay. I can't go home right away, because that's probably the first place she'll look. And I can't go to Tomas' place... ever again. So where... ah ha! Hashiru's territory!' He nodded his head sharply, becoming less aware of his surroundings as he contemplated his next move. 'They'll have some place I can crash. I can go home tomorrow, scout out the house, and if it's clear, collect my stuff and go on a long training trip. I'll also need to remove my school record. I'll have to steal them, so that nobody will know why I'm leaving...' He idly made a note of the irony that he hadn't been nearly so nervous back when he thought Min was trying to kill him.
"THERE YOU ARE!!"
Ranma's hand lashed upward and grabbed the side of the monkey bars before he yanked his body upward just in time to escape Min's flying kick.
"You'll never catch me alive, you lunatic!" Ranma yelled, flipping himself on top of the bars and launching himself into the adjacent trees.
Min growled as she tried to recover from her not-so-surprise attack (she gave herself a mental kick for having shouted first), as she had ended up landing the strike in a sandbox. "Who said 'alive' was part of the plan, jerk?!"
Ranma didn't answer, instead rapidly jumping from tree to tree, building momentum as he pushed through the park woods. 'Maybe I can find some sort of disguise, and use the water I'm carrying...' He thought, landing on a tree branch and stopping for a moment to think of where he might find women's clothes.
Vwish! Ranma let his weight shift slightly, and a rock zipped just past his head and impacted the tree he was perched in, sending bits of bark and splinters into the air.
'Shoot! She's fast! Really fast! And a decent tracker, too,' Ranma thought, deciding to hold his ground for now until he could think of a good place to escape to.
Min kicked up another rock from the ground, and snatched it out of the air. "You won't get away! Nobody ditches me on a date! Nobody!" She punctuated the last statement with a rapid-fire salvo of four stone projectiles, each one trailing flame as they rocketed toward the pigtailed target.
Crack-Crack-Crack-Crack! Ranma's hands became a blur as he struck each stone missile with perfect precision, sending hot embers whirling around him. "Who you calling 'nobody'?" He snapped, planting his hand flat against the trunk of the tree he was perched on. Then his hand glowed purple, and small violent sparks began to appear and wind their way around the tree's branches.
BLAM!! Min shielded her eyes as the tree exploded into a purple firestorm, with twin bolts of flame that split off in opposite directions and left a high wall of dark fire in its wake.
'He used the tree as a catalyst to enhance his flame's power? And so quickly!' Min thought, awed as the hellflame towered before her menacingly, cutting off her path of pursuit. 'Makes sense, I guess. Wood to power fire. But still, I couldn't do that...'
Licking her lips in anticipation, Min back-flipped and launched into the air, touching down on the side of the tree behind her. Then she rebounded off the trunk as powerfully as she could, easily clearing the wall of fire.

Ranma, in the meantime, was still shaking his head while lying on the ground, having caught far more of a blast from his spur-of-the-moment experiment than he had expected.
"I keep forgetting that my flames have a force component too. And that I'm not completely immune to it," Ranma mumbled to himself. It was a problem he hadn't quite worked out completely with his hellfire rage attack, though he had at least been able to minimize the amount of kinetic energy that hit him directly.
He started to get up, when instead he was hefted upward by the collar of his jacket, and a slim, yet strong arm slipped around his neck.
"Well, well, well. Look who bit off a little more than he could chew with his new trick," Min said in a sing-song voice, flexing her arm.
Ranma grimaced. "Look, Min, don't make this any harder than it's already been. It obviously wasn't going to work out. You're a great girl and all, but you're clearly insane. That's just not what I'm looking for in a relationship."
A vein popped up on Min's head. "'Insane'? Who's insane? You're the one who took a training trip to a bloody cursed site!"
"Hey! That wasn't my idea!" Ranma protested, not making any move to struggle against Min's hold. "And in Pop's defense, I learned a lot of useful things on that trip! Like this," with that, he jabbed a spot on the side of Min's elbow, causing her arm to relax against her will. Then he tore himself from her grasp, and swept her feet out from under her as he turned and stepped away.
Ranma planted his hands on his hips as Min scrambled to her feet. "Seriously though; what're you trying to do, here? You KNOW I'm stronger than you. Are you trying to kill me? Beat me? Drag me back to dinner? Take me... uh..."
He trailed off as Min started to shake slightly, her head down and her carefully placed hair spread down and obscuring her face. "I, uh, l-look, I'm sorry, but-"
"Ha ha ha ha ha! Wa ha ha ha hah!" Min suddenly bust out laughing, falling down on her rear. "Oh, gosh... What WAS I thinking?" She smiled widely and then patted the ground next to her. "Come on. Have a seat. You worked up a bit of a sweat, there."
Ranma recoiled. "What? But... I mean... aren't you mad?" He left unspoken that he didn't trust her intentions for having him in a relaxed position with his flank exposed to her questionable mercies.
The Ninja smirked. "I was, but I'm over it now. I let out my steam, and it was fun."
"Wha? Fun?" Ranma said, absolutely flabbergasted.
"Yeah. What I was talking about, the struggling thing? This is a good example of that." She winked at him. "Was it good for you too?"
"I... um..." Ranma scratched the back of his head as his face reddened. "I guess... it was kinda neat..." he admitted. "Although it's still creepy that you'd rather fight me on a date than see a movie."
Min snorted. "Eh, get over it." Then she pointed behind Ranma at the towering inferno that still blazed hotly behind him. "By the way, did you remember that you set a forest fire going a minute ago?"
"GYAAAH!! NO!!" Ranma shouted in surprise, quickly gesturing at the flames he had summoned and causing them to slowly fall. Within moments the firestorm had ceased, and all the remains of two hundred square feet of woods crumbled to the ground among dark, glowing embers.
"Aw, man. I didn't mean to cause this much damage..." Ranma mumbled, sweating slightly as he imagined all the consequences that he'd doubtlessly avoid.
Min smirked and wrapped an arm around the back of his neck, surprising the pigtailed boy as she tugged him close. "Oh, don't feel bad. That trick causing the tree to explode WAS very impressive."
Ranma blushed from the proximity of the buxom young woman. "Uh, th-thanks." 'I guess she really isn't mad at me anymore. Min's weird... but, in a way, she's pretty cool, too.' He thought. Ranma also liked to fight battles for fun, gladly taking whatever injuries he sustained in stride, and still enjoying every minute of combat. He had just never considered it an attractive force.
"Well what have we here? Such a fine girl you've got there, Yagami!"

Ranma jerked to attention at the sound of cackling laughter, and clenched his teeth as he recognized it. "What the hell? What do you want?"
Min blinked, completely unfamiliar with the voice. "Huh? Who is it? GAH!"
The busty Ninja jumped as she felt someone goose her from behind, and quickly flipped away, her face bright red.
Happousai cackled as he landed, standing away an equal distance away from the two teenagers. "Ha ha! You're not bad, are you missy? Such fine reflexes! And such... exquisite assets..."
Min went completely white and shuddered as the tiny little man grinned at her. "Wh-Wh-What? What are y-you supposed to be?"
Ranma sighed. "Leave 'er alone, you freak. Why are you here, and how can I get rid of you?"
Happousai's sleazy grin turned into a gleeful smile when he faced Ranma. "Why do you think? I'm gonna get you back for blasting me, Ranma!"
"For blasting you? You're after me because I blasted you?" Ranma stared at him for a moment, then shook his head. "You know what? Fine. Whatever. Just hit me and leave, already. If that's the only reason you have for bugging me, it'll be worth it to never see you again."
Happousai blinked in surprise. That wasn't the reaction he was expecting. "What? You just gonna take it? Fight me like a man! You don't want your girlfriend to think you're CHICKEN, do ya?"
"Most girls aren't impressed by seeing guys beat up senior citizens," Ranma said dryly. "So is that why you're really here? You wanna fight me? Forget it." Iori had warned Ranma against getting involved with Happousai, and given what he had already seen of the little pervert, it was sound advice.
"Oh, so you don't wanna face me, eh? CHICKEN!! CHI-CHI-CHICKEN!!" Happousai shouted, planting his hands on his hips and waving his elbows. "Want some corn, chicken? Bawk bawk ba-kawk!"
Ranma and Min both sweatdropped, and the former turned toward the latter. "Well, I think that's enough for one night. How 'bout I take you home?"
"By all means," Min said, turning away and following the pigtailed boy toward the street.
Happousai slowly stopping waving his elbows as he realized that the two teenagers apparently weren't incensed by his taunts, and his eyes narrowed. "All right, fine. No more mister nice ancient martial arts master..."

Min caught a blur of movement out of the corner of her eye, and then in an act of reflexes that impressed both of the men present, struck down behind her with a knife hand block, stopping Happousai's lunge for her rear.
"Nuh-uh-uh!" Min said, grabbing the tiny pervert by the head. "Grope me once, shame on you. Grope me twice, shame on me."
Happousai grinned. "Shame on you, then!"
Shr-r-rip! Min's pupils shrank as her blouse seemed to suddenly disintegrate into shreds, and her grip on Happousai loosened as her jaw dropped in surprise.
Happousai took complete advantage of the opportunity, and flipped away with Min's bra fluttering in his grasp. "Ha ha! That's what you get for underestimating me!"
Min trembled in rage and fear as she clutched her chest, and watched Happousai bury his face in his freshly stolen property.
"Holy sardines! I can almost fit my entire head into one of these cups! DAY-AHM, girl! Whatever they've been feeding you, tell your friends about it!"
Min's mouthed worked soundlessly, as she found herself unable to come up with anything to properly express how upset she currently was.
Then she felt a warm, rough feeling on her back as Ranma slid his trademark jacket over her.
"Here you go," he whispered, closing the jacket around her and gently moving her aside. "I'll take care of this."
Min blushed as she felt Ranma's arms encircle her, and turned to watch as he faced Happousai. "B-Be careful! His ki attacks are so firmly grounded in his style that you can't even see them coming!"
"Yeah, I know," Ranma murmured, remembering how Happousai's blow had destroyed Min's outfit despite being cleanly blocked, and trying not to remember the short moment in which he had seen his date's chest completely exposed in all its glory. 'And there's no way he could move like that naturally with those stubby little legs; this guy's like a nuclear ki reactor. It's in every fiber of his being.'

Happousai smirked as he pulled the brassiere off his face, seeing Ranma staring at him with a hard, cold expression. "Aw, what's da matter? Did I do something wrong?"
"I'm just gonna let you know right now," Ranma began, his hands slowly twisting into fists, "that what I'm about to do to you isn't all you're gonna get for that stunt you just pulled. Min isn't part of this, so I'm going to make this quick for now to get her out of here as soon as possible. I'll give you a more thorough ass-kicking later."
The old master chuckled, not intimidated at all by the young man's words. "Oh? So now you're ready to fight?"
"What is about to happen here isn't going to be a fight: it's going to be a beating." With that, Ranma reached out and slapped the tree next to him, holding his palm on the trunk for a moment before pulling it away.
Happousai frowned at the glowing purple palm print on the tree. "And what's that supposed to do? Vandalize our public parks?"
"You have no idea..." Ranma mumbled, raising a hand and snapping his fingers.
BLAM!! The greater part of the tree disintegrated, and an explosion of purple flame blasted out of the point of contact made by Ranma's hand, tearing through Happousai like a cannon shot, and knocking Ranma off his feet from his proximity to the tree.

Whump! The pigtailed boy rolled along the grass painfully as he landed, reflecting upon how difficult his new technique was to control. "Okay then... that hurt a little..."
He was surprised when he felt himself being pulled to his feet, and looked up to see Min holding him up, his jacket now zipped up and hanging loosely on her slimmer frame. "You okay? You didn't seem prepared for that."
"I wasn't," Ranma said reluctantly. "That's a dangerous technique. Plus, it needs a name." Then he shook his head. "Never mind that. We have to get outta here; the brunt of that blast missed him. He'll be back soon."
Min nodded grimly and released him, turning away and breaking into a sprint at the same time he did. "So who is that sick little gnome, anyway?"
"He's one of the martial arts masters Pop studied under. A real whack-job, too. I dunno why he's bugging me and my family, though."
Min caught a guilty-looking glance from her date as they reached the edge of the park, running into the bare streets.
"I'm really sorry you got caught up in it," Ranma mumbled, slowing down a little. "I didn't know the old freak would attack someone who wasn't involved... and... well, I just-"
Bop! Ranma flinched as Min lightly clubbed him on the head with her fist. When he looked up at her questioningly, however, she was smiling at him.
"Oh, don't give me that whole 'I'm so ashamed, how could I have brought this upon an innocent girl' spiel." She poked him in the nose as she continued speaking. "I mean, how long have we been hanging out together? I know you get in fights. A lot of fights. With some pretty bizarre characters, yet. I expect it. And I don't expect you to miraculously suspend the rest of your life for the purposes of taking me out for dinner."
"And yet, you still came with me unarmed," Ranma pointed out, earning him another bop on the head.
"Yes, okay, I fully regret that by now," Min admitted, flushing slightly. "But that won't be too big a problem. I have an idea."
Ranma raised an eyebrow, and Min winked at him. "The old geezer is tough, and damn fast, but not too bright. Let him come. And we'll be ready for him."
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A charred and angry Happousai bounded from tree to tree like an enraged flea, bouncing about muttering incoherently as he searched for his target.
'I've gone way too easy on that little punk so far! I've let him get in the first shot... I've let him surprise me. But no more!'
Letting his aura loose, it wasn't long before a large, menacing silhouette of Happousai's form followed above him, a menacing aura of pure energy that ripped through the tree branches even as Happousai weaved through them.
'Oh no. Not going to happen this time. We'll see how HE likes being on the hard end of an explosion!'
With that thought in mind, Happousai cackled and summoned two Happoudaikarins to his hands.
Finally, the tiny, wrinkled martial arts master reached the edge of the park, and rocketed out of the treetops, grinning with a gleeful fury as the fuses on his bombs lit from the heat of his battle aura. "NOW YOU PAY, YAGAMI!!"

Splat! Then he fell flat on his face, being stunned in mid-charge by the sight of Min in the middle of the street, having apparently lost the jacket Ranma gave her to cover her upper torso.
Happousai bounced upward to attention, hardly one to spend time with his eyes facing the ground with such a lovely example of puberty's benefits sitting right in front of him, illuminated by the harsh glow of the streetlight above her.
Min flushed and looked away, holding one arm over her chest to cover the bare minimum to keep her appearance strictly "PG-13". "Oh no! That pervert's back! Ranma, why did you leave me? And did you HAVE to take back your jacket first?"
Happousai twitched, and then some steam blew out of his ears as his brain switched gears and his libido changed settings from "Temporarily Subdued" back to its norm of "Full Overdrive" and then bounced up an additional notch to "Plus Nitros".
A small part of his brain was skeptical of the authenticity of Min's words, as she hadn't seemed nearly so helpless before, and as Ranma hadn't seemed so ignoble. Those thoughts didn't immediately help either of Happousai's current priorities of seeing naked women or hurting Ranma, so the unpopular, rational little cluster of gray matter was tasked with thinking of something more relevant, such as figuring out where to get a bra to replace the one destroyed by Ranma's flames. That portion of his brain responded by asking that if recognizing traps wasn't important right now, where did the two live explosives in the hands rank on his list of priorities?
The rest of Happy's brain unanimously agreed that his rational part was a jackass.
BOOM!

Min winced as the explosion consumed the little pervert, and she sweatdropped. That hadn't been part of the plan. "Huh. He was so dumb he blasted himself before we could do it," she mumbled.
Cough! Hack! Cough! Happousai stumbled out of the smoke left by his bombs, and then quickly shook the ash and soot off him before clearing his throat. "Ahem! Sorry about that. I don't use that technique much."
Min's sweatdrop remained. "I don't mind. You can blow yourself up any time."
"Yes, well, back to business then, I suppose. SWEETO!!" Launching himself forward like a rocket, Happousai gleefully stretched out his hands and squeezed his eyes shut, anticipating the wonderful feel of the young Ninja's bountiful chest within his loathsome grasp.
Said Ninja, having anticipated the assault entirely, quickly withdrew Ranma's metal water canteen from under her and flung it at the incoming lecher, using the same technique she used with her fans to set the container ablaze as it left her hand.
Thwap! Hssssssssssssssss... Happousai gasped and fell down in mid-lunge as something solid struck him in the head, and then found himself surrounded by scalding steam, unable to see his previous target.
Scoffing at such a weak and desperate distraction, the old martial arts master simply leapt out of the steam cloud in the direction where his prey had laid before-
-And sailed directly into Ranma's fist, which burned a furious violet with the dark power of the Orochi.
Ka-THWACK! Happousai went flying across the street from the impact, trailing smoke and bits of burnt clothing right before he smashed into a parked car, denting its hood inward and crushing several of its more important parts with his soft, wrinkled flesh and brittle, elderly bones.

Ranma started to smile in triumph, but suddenly felt a sharp pain in his abdomen, forcing him onto his knees.
"Are you okay?" Min asked worriedly, wondering what had happened. He hadn't used too much power, had he? Did Ranma even HAVE a limit to how much he could use his flames?
The pigtailed boy took several deep breaths, then stood up, smiling weakly. "S'no problem. I'm okay. I'm just a little winded from those exploding trees, that's all." 'That little freak tagged me! I don't believe it! I smashed him the second he appeared!'
Then his eyes widened, and he whirled around. "Look out! He's beh-"
Thwap-Thwap-Thwap! Ranma was silenced as a half-dozen blows landed on his chest in a split second, and he barely managed to keep his footing as he slid backward from the force. Then he barely managed to catch a glimpse of a wooden pipe lashing out for his ankle before he was sent flying straight upward, the recipient of some unnatural application of force he couldn't begin to understand.
Min recoiled at the sight of seeing Ranma literally tossed around so easily, and then lashed out with a knife-hand block as Happousai made another shot for her chest.
Bwap! "Hey! Are you gonna fight him or grope me? One or the other, pervert!" She punched with her free hand, but the elderly man easily avoided it, bouncing back onto the empty street just as Ranma made a much less pleasant landing several meters behind.
"Sorry honey, but you two have been pretty rough on this old man so far! I need a recharge! 'Scuse me!" Happousai jumped again, and Min leapt backwards as well, her hands a blur of motion as she tried to smack the old man away.
"A 'recharge'? You actually get power from molesting people? Gross!" Min shouted in disgust as she tried to deflect the determined little pervert.
Unfortunately, she wasn't nearly quick enough to hold out for long, and before Min realized that her guard was being undone, she felt a writhing sensation among her breasts. "Ack! You sicko! Leggo!" She cried, her face darkening.
"Mm-hm! How sweet it is!" The lecher said blissfully, rubbing his face against her assets.

Ranma growled and stood up, his hands lighting up in twin blazes of purple.
He was right in the middle of figuring out a way to utterly destroy the perverted monster groping his date without likewise destroying his date at the same time, when he caught Min winking at him, and hesitated.

"Think you're hot now, old man? See how you like this!" Min clasped her hands together in front of her, with the index fingers of both hands pointing up. "Kagerou no mai!"
Thwoom! Ranma's eyebrow rose as Min lit up like a torch, and Happousai's eyes bugged out as he was once again consumed by flames. Unfortunately for him, he had invested such a grip upon Min's chest that he couldn't immediately dislodge himself from her until his body had already completely caught fire (in stark contrast to his bombs and Ranma's fire blasts, which blew him away rather than lighting him aflame).
"GWAAAAH!! NOTAGAINNOTAGAINNOTAGAINWHYDOESTHISKEEPHAPPENINGTOMEWHATDIDIDOTODESERVETHISSWEETMOTHEROFALLTHATSHOLYTHISHURTSLIKEAMOTHERSOMEBODYHELPMEWATERINEEDWATER!!"
Eventually the flaming lecher walked within leg's reach of Ranma, who wasn't about to let such an opportunity pass him by.
Boot!
Happousai went flying across the street from Ranma's kick, wildly flailing his burning arms as he broke through the front driver's-side door of the small Mitsubishi he had already become intimately acquainted with. Crunch!
"Now, Ranma! Let's do this!" Min shouted, landing in front of the pigtailed boy and charging her flame aura as he powered up his own.
"O-Okay," he stuttered, trying to keep his concentration on the technique he was preparing. Which was difficult, as it required he focus on Min as she prepared her own attack, and at some point Min had decided that winning the battle was more important than keeping her breasts covered; a sentiment that Ranma agreed with, to be sure, but it was extremely distracting.

Happousai stumbled out of the twisted wreckage of the car, slightly dazed, but no longer on fire. He had suffered a lot of damage so far, mostly fire damage, and it was beginning to take a serious toll on him, despite his ridiculously efficient healing abilities.
Staggering forward, he didn't even realize that he was back in the fight until he saw flames once again burst into being around Min in front of him, this time holding in the shape of a huge fireball.

"Chou hissatsu shinobi bachi!" Min shouted, holding her arms in an "X" position in front of her as she held the fireball together as best she could.
Then Ranma's purple aura burst around him, and he slammed his hands flat on Min's back. "Gouka rippuku: revised!"
"RANRAN NA RYUU GYORAI!!" Min finished, suddenly blasting forward at a speed far beyond her normal capabilities.
Happousai's eyes widened as a huge lance of flame rocketed toward him, like a massive purple comet with a pale yellow core at its head. A dark, wet spot appeared amongst the charred remains of his pants (it would be of little comfort to him later that everybody else who was present didn't notice before he was gone).
KRAAK-KOOOOOOOOM!!!

Ranma winced as dust and smoke washed into him, and then he quickly dashed forward into the destruction Min had wrought, his concern increasing by the second.
"Damn, I think I used too much power... what if she couldn't keep that much energy at bay?" He mumbled to himself, trying to wave away the smoke as it obscured his search. "MIN!! You okay? Where are you?"
"Cough! Cough! I'm Cough! over here! Cough!" Min stumbled out of the smoke drunkenly and collapsed into him, and Ranma blushed furiously as he caught her by the shoulders, being very aware that she was still naked from the waist up.
"Are you all right? Was that too much power?" The pigtailed boy asked in concern.
Min couldn't help but feel a soft, fuzzy feeling inside that Ranma was so genuinely worried that he might have hurt her in taking part in her plan. "No, no I'm okay. Did my clothes burn off?"
Ranma's blush got worse. "Uh, no. Your skirt's just fine." Then he quickly took his jacket back off and offered it once more to his date.
Min took the jacket gratefully, but hesitated when she noticed how badly flushed Ranma's face was.
"And what're you so embarrassed about?" She asked, smirking. Then she turned around with the jacket hanging off her shoulder, and not covering anything. "I mean, I don't have anything you don't have half the time, right?"
Ranma twitched, and turned his head away, still blushing. "D-Don't go there. I 'aint no pervert, all right?"
Glomp! The pigtailed boy "eeped" as Min hugged him from behind, his thin undershirt providing little protection from her body.
The buxom Ninja giggled. "Oh, come on. I couldn't possibly call YOU a pervert after what I just went through, now could I? You don't have to be such a gentleman, you know. If all our dates are this interesting, you'll get to do much more than just see my breasts..."
"M-Maybe I sh-should take you h-home," Ranma squeaked, well aware that he was in dangerous territory. He was already going to be hard pressed to deal with Andy once he got Min back home, and if his date kept up her suggestive displays, it was only going to make it harder to explain things.
Min sighed and backed off, realizing that she wasn't going to get a better reaction from Ranma so early in the game. Why was he so inhibited, anyway? Did some woman from his past savagely beat him just for having a sex drive?
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Back at the Tendo dojo, Akane sneezed, constituting her most important appearance for four chapters.
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Mai sighed as Andy continued to pace the living room, rubbing his chin worriedly as he mumbled to himself. "Andy, dear, you have to calm down. Min's been on dates with men far pushier and opportunistic than Ranma. I'm telling you, SHE'LL BE FINE."
Andy continued to pace at the same speed, though he stopped mumbling. After a long while, he stopped, and glanced at his wife. "To tell you the truth... I agree. I don't think Ranma's going to make a move on her."
Mai raised an eyebrow.
"I mean, he PROBABLY won't... he seems like a decent guy... and seems pretty dumb when it comes to those types of things, anyway..." he snapped out of his mumbling, and made eye contact with his wife again. "Really, I'm more worried about Min."
Mai said nothing, merely frowning.
"I mean, I never thought about it before, but she's kind of... impulsive. And rather passionate. And flirtatious. And it's a very awkward age she's at, now..."
Mai continued to say nothing, and took a sip of tea.
"And, well, I don't mean anything bad by this, but she takes after you a lot, Mai. And, well, when you and I were, for lack of a better word, 'dating', well..."
Mai raised an eyebrow, but kept her silence.
Andy scrubbed his head furiously, getting more nervous by the minute. "I mean, she REALLY likes that kid! And no matter what I said to him, if Min came on to him, would he really stop her?" He turned toward his wife pleadingly. "But I'm probably just overreacting, right? Min wouldn't do that. Especially not on a first date! Right?"
Mai stared at him expressionlessly for a long moment. "Sorry. I was only prepared to handle irrational concerns about Ranma seducing Min. I can't promise you that she wouldn't jump him instead. Not with a straight face, anyway." She sighed and took a sip of tea as Andy fell to his knees, trembling as he grasped his head.
"And aren't you at all concerned about this?" Andy asked, twitching.
Mai blinked. "Concerned that our daughter might take advantage of a naive, unsuspecting teenage boy? Yes, a little. But we can't very well do anything about it from here, can we?"
"No.. that... it... well... can't..." Andy tried unsuccessfully to put his thoughts together to form an argument against his wife's antipathy. "A-Aren't you concerned that... that she... that she'll do-"
"Do what we do every night I can get into bed before you're already asleep?" Mai asked.
Andy nodded furiously.
Mai sighed and put down her tea. "Honey, I look at it this way: You remember when we were younger? I threw myself at you every chance I got. And after the KoF tournaments? Remember that one Valentines day that I gave you that chocolate cake for Valentine's Day, the one with the high-alcohol raspberry filling? I took you right there on your kitchen table in the apartment, and that was our first time together."
"Exactly!" Andy said, pointing at her. "Min's so much like you! She just might do something like that!"
Mai nodded absently, still lost in thought. "I took you right there on the table, and look at us now: happily married, big house, three kids, financial security, a martial arts legacy..."
Andy jabbed a finger at her again and opened his mouth.
For a long time, nothing came out.
"...... That's unfair." The blond man finally said, slumping down onto the couch beside his wife.
Mai smiled at seeing her husband admit defeat, and leaned over to hug him. "Aw, it's okay. I know you only worry so much because of how much you love Min." Then she started to massage his shoulder, and her smile turned into a smirk. "Do you want to go upstairs and have a 'sparring session'? I know a few good 'techniques' for cheering up depressed husbands..."
Andy flushed red, and was about to accept coyly, when the doorbell suddenly rang, interrupting the couple.

Mai frowned and pulled away. "Hmph. What timing. Who the hell could that be at this hour?"
Andy scratched his head as he got up. "Maybe it's Min and Ranma? But it's only 8:30. The movie doesn't even end for another hour..."
Walking over to the front door, Andy opened it slowly, and was pleasantly surprised to see that Ranma and Min were both standing outside, wishing each other a good night.
"Min? I thought you weren't supposed to be back until ten!" Andy said, immensely pleased to see her sooner, but still curious as to why.
Min giggled a bit and shrugged. "Eh, we decided to ditch the movie. I doubt Ranma would've enjoyed such a chick flick anyway, even if he is a chick half the time."
"Ah, who asked you?" Ranma said, sticking out his tongue playfully. "Anyway, I had fun. Gimme a call sometime and we can do it again."
"'Kay! Thanks for lending me your jacket!" Min said cheerfully, waving goodbye to her date.

Andy shut the door, a relieved smile on his face. 'I guess I was just overreacting after all. I gotta get ahold of myself.' "So you had a good time?"
Min grinned and nodded. "Yeah! Spending time with Ranma is definitely... unique."
Andy raised an eyebrow, but he didn't detect any innuendo in the comment, so he didn't ask about it. "By the way, why didn't you give Ranma his jacket before he left?" He thought suddenly, realizing that Min still had the large black coat on. "It was nice of him to lend it to you, but I'm surprised you even needed it. It's pretty warm out tonight."
Min flushed a bit. "Well, it's a bit... complicated. Long story short, I needed something to cover up after I lost my blouse and my bra. But it was nice of him, wasn't it?"
A very long silence pervaded the Bogard household as Min's parents stared at her, and the teenage Ninja looked around curiously, wondering what was wrong.
"Oh my," Mai said finally, deciding that she'd have to have a talk with her daughter very soon and make sure she was practicing safe sex. And get the details, of course. Ranma didn't seem very aggressive, but Mai was willing to bet he was a hell of a ride once you got him going.
SLAM! Andy nearly tore the front door off its hinges as he burst outside and searched the area wildly for his daughter's new boyfriend. "YAGAMI!! GET BACK HERE, YOU COWARD!!"
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Elsewhere, quite a distance away, Ranma winced as he heard a man scream his name in patriarchal fury, and the pigtailed boy doubled his already brisk pace back to his house.
"Man, I swear, one way or another, that girl is going to be the death of me..."

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End Chapter 14

Kagerou no mai - Sun fire dance: the body is momentarily engulfed in an immobile tower of flames, burning anything it touches.
Ranran na ryuu gyorai - Blazing dragon torpedo: Using Ranma's hellfire rage technique as ignition, Min can launch her flaming elbow charge with devastating force. Capable of destroying entire buildings (though that would undoubtedly bring great harm to the projectile, namely Min).