The scene starts out with a blank stage with a single microphone in the center. Both sides of the stage are covered by a curtain, while a cheesy "KoF '99" backdrop dominates everything. All in all, very much like something seen on "Comedy Central Presents".
Black Dragon, wearing his classic (typical) black long-sleeve shirt (6.99 at K-Mart) and sweatpants (as if he wears anything else).
Frowning at the frequent and over-critical comments that keep appearing in parenthesis, BD clears his throat and takes the microphone.
"Hello everyone, and welcome to another installment of Yagami 1/2, the ONLY fanfic I write that isn't reminiscent of watching a Monty Python flick while totally inebriated. Today I would like to address some issues that have come up."
Black Dragon takes out a folded piece of paper from his pocket, and unfolds it in one hand.
"One of my... 'fans'... has volunteered some of his valuable time to nitpick, er... point out everything that I do wrong with this story. I will now present these issues and explain them for the benefit of all my readers. The message goes something like this:"
[As for grammer and spelling this was good.
But as for the plot:
This became almost painful to read... that or I almost hung myself with over-suspending disbelief.
You've reduced Ranma's skills to inherited traits... sayian like... with free I-double-in-power-when-I-get-beat-tup upgrades... into when ever I sleep. Almost anyway... he seems to get weaker after age 10.
Loose ends like why did Nodoka go from Nerima class roof hopping martial artist with rewrite mind to worship me with aura to extremely infertal (only 2 kids after that much effort, that many times, that often) background charicter?
Speaking of auras... isn't the purple flames a physical manifestation of the chi of HATE? Ranma... who's to happy go lucky to get mad is produces it like most people do body heat... from what? It makes no sence.
Where did Iori get the Neko-ken book?
Why did Genma have hair back then? Why did Genma slack off that much? Why does all the benifits of Genma's training and effort get in Ranma anyway?
Ranma was so powerful at 6 six... Why?
Breaking point manditory? Also marithon buffet style training? Ryouga took a week to learn it and it suprized Colonge with its speed... your using it like its common for the rank and file amazons to use it... they won't survie the training... thats why its a secret technic and not a right of passage... and the boulder wouldn't break for hours... your destroying them in minutes.
Lovely group of amazon valley girls you got their... real likely they'd get away with that attitude in the village.
Why does Ranma have such a hard time with the easier training technics at 10 than the harder ones at 6?
Did Ranma go through training with bamboo poles over nails? Why is it ''Balance practice. Not his thing." he did it earlier.
Iori's reaction to the springs of... do it just don't fall in... that came from where?
Yes! Manhaters apoligise to random men for the offence of walking near them constantly... expesially at the future matriarch. *FEEL the sarcasim*
Why did the amazons go several hours away from the villiage(not to mention 100 feet from a forbiden area) to break rocks? Thats just to contrived.
Come to think of it... those poles will suppose over 400 pounds of Panda with easy... exactly how heavy is Iori?
The point of the curse? they tend t be custom picked for the person... chaos magic warping reality to almost plot contrivance... thats what it does.
Where did all this '-MAN-' stuff come from... the story makes no real point of this previous to this point... suddenly its all important.
This just doesn't feel like a Ranma story...
It has its good point (the third spring you mentioned was amusing) but spends too much time triing to suck p random altered Ranma elements and not enough being sensible.
Also... that was depresion at the end... unless that was some bizzarre self-hate thing]
By the end, Black Dragon is clearly twitching in irritation, and a vein is throbbing on the side of his head. "I'd like to thank Necratoid for that wonderful bit of well-reasoned and thoughtful bitc-uh-criticism! You may notice that he also complimented my spelling and grammar, and reading his review, it's no wonder he thought that it was worth noting."
Without warning, Ranma poked his head in from the side of the stage. "BD, that was the first ff.net review you ever got for this story. On the first chapter! Why are you explaining this NOW?"
Black Dragon sweatdropped. "Well, as the story develops further, I thought it might be necessary to put all these little 'potholes' to rest."
"Uh huh," Ranma deadpanned, clearly not believing him, "couldn't think of a new omake, eh?"
"Hey! Shut up!" Ranma smiled at ducked back behind the curtain. BD straightened, then addressed the readers once more.
"Okay. Issue 1: Ranma's power. Now, obviously, this is reminiscent of the all-too-common and much disliked 'throw a bunch of free power-ups on Ranma' theme. However, his advantage in battle is still mostly skill. Simply because he started out with a weapon that can replace a ki blast in a pinch doesn't mean the guy was just hanging around practicing blowing things up for 16 years. Yes, he's stronger, but his inherited abilities add TO his skill, they don't replace it. The Orochi thing is far more complicated than going superhuman when he's beaten up; otherwise Akane would've been ripped in two by the third chapter. His Orochi power is sort of the weakness to psyche, the 'better and bloodier' neko-ken, if you will. And he doesn't get weaker after he's ten. Stop making stuff up."
BD coughed into his fist. "Nodoka. She was never a roof-hopper. She just jumped out of a window. And hurt herself doing it. Hell, I could do that. While she's kept up marginal practice, she doesn't spend much time on it, so her skills are fairly rusty. Why does this matter again? And as for infertility... I don't know. Make something up. She's sterile, she was using birth control, whatever. It doesn't strike me as nearly important enough to mention, and certainly not a 'loose end'."
Black Dragon looks back down at the note. "Let's see... auras. Yagami flames? Manifestation of hate? Uhm... no. I'd be the first to admit I'm not as well-versed as I should be in KoF for writing this fanfic, but I'm certain that I've studied Yagami's story enough to know that the flames have nothing to do with hate. And as for where Iori got the neko-ken book... who knows? Where did Genma get the neko-ken book? More importantly, who cares?"
"Okay, as for Genma, I thought it was explained fairly well, but here goes: Hair. Doesn't matter. Why did Genma slack off? Doesn't matter, but I at least have an explanation for it. He had no reason to continue his art. Without a son to pass his skills on to, what would motivate him to keep training? We all know Genma's lazy. Without Ranma around to spar with, or Happousai to work him into the ground, I'll bet he wouldn't even get any exercise. His skills? Benefits? Transferred to Ranma? Well that's just silly. For one, Iori knows some Anything-Goes, obviously, and he taught that to Ranma. Two, Iori's training wasn't the same as Genma's, but was just about as effective. Three, Ranma's ability to learn, adapt, and improve himself hasn't changed just because half the genes in his body have (deal with it!). Genma never struck me as a very good teacher; he did get results, but looking at how well Ranma improves himself without Genma's instruction during the course of the series, I'm wondering how much of his skill can be attributed to Genma."
Black Dragon sighs as he looks at the next question. "He was powerful at six because of the flame. Ranma was always real good, even as a kid. Just look at the Ukyo and Ryoga flashbacks. But the Yagami fire gave him a huge boost right off the bat. For the purposes of fighting other six-year-old martial artists or common street thugs, it was more than enough. As he's grown up, the other martial artists have time to learn new skills to compensate for Ranma's flames."
*Sigh* "Okay! Amazons! The breaking point technique! One! The technique itself is mostly useless; it's the benefit of being smashed into boulders that's the real training. So whether they learned the technique or not wasn't important, just so long as they didn't cripple themselves with the training. Two! As I recall, Cologne was smacking Ryoga over the head for not learning it fast enough, not the other way around. And if he had learned it that quickly, then it wouldn't have been that effective, as it's the 'misses' that provide the real benefits. Third! 'Secret' technique? Must not be real secret if Cologne is willing to teach it to some guy she just met who wants to kill her son-in-law!"
BD laughed for a moment, then coughed into his fist. "Er... harder time with easier techniques at 10? What the %*#$ are you talking about? Oh well. Next one... hmmmm... Iori was the one that 'balance practice. Not his thing' was referring to. Not that he couldn't do it, but Iori doesn't have to put himself through anything stupid if he doesn't feel like it. Iori's comment? It came from his mouth. What are you trying to say here?"
BD sighs as he looks over the next lines. "All right, look, there's no indication that the Amazons are 'manhaters'. I mean, where the heck do you people get this anyway? Does the way Shampoo throws herself at Ranma and begs for his attention give the impression of a 'manhater' to you? Or the way Cologne tries to ensnare him, rather than knocking him out and carting him off to China to force him to live as breeding stock? Why shouldn't she apologize? Yeesh."
Black Dragon hums to himself as he scans down the list. "Let's see... next question... doesn't matter... next question... Iori never touched a pole. Irrelevant." BD blinks at the next line. "Custom-picked for the person? Chaos magic? What the heck is this? Where did this come from? Show me where the Jusenkyou guide's speech bubbles explain this, because I sure don't remember it, and maybe the manga can explain it better."
BD adjust his glasses, and brings up the microphone again. "And! Now, for the only totally relevant and impartial question in this entire review! 'What is with the MAN thing?'!"
BD holds the microphone up dramatically, then drops it down again. "It's already been explained. Sorry if I didn't emphasize it enough for your tastes, but deal with it. The depression thing as well. Call it self-hate if you want, I don't care."
Ranma pokes his head out again. "Yo, Drags, we're outta time. Move it, man."
BD nods. "Right. Anyway, once again, that was Necratoid. Thank you, good sir, for polluting my review board with your inane and mostly pointless concerns. Now, on with the story!"
*Crack!* *Creak* Some snapping noises are heard in the background, and suddenly the backdrop begins to fall over. BD's eyes widen, and he tries to get out of the way in time.
*Smash!* Not quite...
Ranma stepped out again, wincing. "Ouch. That's gonna leave a mark. Oh well." Ranma yanks on a rope next to him, and the curtain closes.

Yagami 1/2
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover
by Black Dragon
revcoll@peoplepc.com
https://www.angelfire.com/anime2/fanficlair/index.html

I, Black Dragon, Lord of Chaos, hereby give my permission to have Yagami 1/2 turned into a sappy action/romance shoujo thingy with lots of violence and explosions. Yeesh. These authorization things are harder than I thought. I also don't own anyone I didn't make up.

Chapter 7
Out of the Frying Pan...
**********************************************************************************

Ranma stared with half-lidded eyes at the perky girl who was pointing at him challengingly.
"What?"
Min frowned. "I said, 'I, Min Bogard of-'"
"I heard you! I heard you!" Ranma shouted, frustrated. "Why do you want to challenge me?"
"What difference does it make?" Min asked, frowning. Then she reached behind her back and revealed a closed combat fan before jabbing it in Ranma's direction. "Do you accept?"
Ranma sweatdropped. "Now? Between classes?"
Min blinked. "Uh..." she spared a glance at Tomas, who was off to the side, but saw that he was just leaning against the wall, holding his face in his hand. No help there. "Well... sure! Why not?"
Ranma looked to either side of him, noting that a small crowd was gathering around them, seemingly unconcerned with the impending bell. Grumbling a bit to himself, he looked down at the fine steel katana he had taken from Kuno. For a moment he just stared at it, turning it over in his hand and watching as the hall lights glinted off the unmarred metal blade.
Min's frown deepened, and she snorted before turning around pointedly, facing towards the lockers lined up in the hallway against the wall. "Feh! Figures. The toughest guy around turns out to be a wimp after all. What a waste." She clicked her tongue a bit as she shook her head. "It's probably for the best, though. I don't like fighting weaklings, anyway."
*Ka-shink!* Min's eyes widened and she jumped to the side as a katana stabbed into the locker immediately to her right, shooting sparks as it pierced the grated metal door.
Whipping around, Min flipped her fan open, the metal of the bladed edges sending a flash of light through the hallway.
Ranma was smiling, much to Min's surprise. It was a twitchy, disturbed, 'I am SO pissed off right now' kind of smile, but it was a calmer response than she had been expecting.
A vein throbbed slightly on the side of his head. "To be perfectly honest, I try not to fight girls if I can help it." He began massaging his wrist, and the hand being cradled started glowing purple. "Not that you're weak or anything, it's just a policy of mine."
Min's eyes narrowed, and she crouched low, staring at him warily. "But..."
"BUT," Ranma began, calming a bit, "I've been having a bad day, so if you INSIST that I fight you..."
Tomas' eyes widened, and he began to shout a warning. "Min, look-"
*Wham!!* Min yelped and jumped to the side as Ranma's fist sunk into the locker door, smashing it through easily.
"... Then I accept," Ranma stated simply before yanking his fist out of the twisted metal box.
Min gulped slightly, but got into her stance. 'Damn, he's faster than I thought! I barely even saw him cross the distance between us! If he had actually been aiming for me, I might be down already!'
Taking out a second bladed fan, Min whipped it open and stood up straight, pointing the edges of her weapons at her opponent. "All right then Yagami, let's go!"

Ranma stood up straight, cracking his knuckles. 'Damn it. What am I doing? It's almost time for class to start, and I'm fighting some hyper schoolgirl. Why can't I get through English without punching somebody like every other guy?'
Min narrowed her eyes at her opponent, then leapt back, throwing one fan into the air. "Kachou sen!" The fan began spinning upon leaving her hands, reminding Ranma of a saw blade that had come off of the rest of the machine.
'Shoot. Not much room to dodge in here, especially with the crowd. Oh well.' The shriek of metal filled the hall as Ranma shoved his hand into the locker immediately next to him, pulling it from the wall into the path of the projectile.
*Shreeek!* Sparks flew as the blade dug into the steel, and Ranma leapt over the obstacle and hit the ground rolling, coming up just as Min closed on him with a haymaker. Ranma blocked the punch, and then shifted to avoid the following jab, turning as he did to lash out with a high roundhouse.
Min leapt back from kick, then darted in again to slash with one of her fans, only to have her attack batted aside before receiving a quick jab in her face. Wincing from the hit, she back flipped away, and nearly fell over on top of herself when she landed with her back scraping the wall.
'Damn, not enough room! This is hurting me more than him!' Hoping to put Ranma off-balance, she let another war fan fly as she regained her equilibrium and worked out a strategy.
Ranma, determined as he was to end this fight, forwent any complex dodging or impressive displays of agility. "Shikyo hana!" His fist lit ablaze with purple fire, and Min's eyes widened right before she dove out of the way.
*Boom!* Ranma's flaming fist tore through the fan with ease, impacting heavily against the wall Min was previously backed up against. Turning, Ranma stepped back to avoid a foot sweep, and then charged his opponent, hitting the ill-prepared ninja girl with his shoulder and smashing her against the opposite wall of the hallway.
The crowd let out cheers and yells of encouragement to both fighters as each stood; Ranma to regain his balance, and Min to regain her senses.
Ranma stared expressionlessly at his foe, then calmly raised one hand, palm up. *Fwoosh* Purple embers danced around his fingers, and Min caught herself staring in fascination. "Give up yet?"
Min coughed, then grinned as she wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. "Not in your life!" Then, turning toward a nearby window to her left, she dove outside, shattering the glass with her body as she tucked into a somersault.

Back in the school, several students sweatdropped.
"She could have just opened it," Hiroshi remarked.
"Or used the open window to her right. It was, what, like a foot farther away?" Tomas added.
*BRRRRRRRRRRRING!!*
Ranma looked up, considering. "Maybe I should just go to class..." *Shing!* Ranma ducked as a fan whizzed by his head, cutting into the ceiling and destroying a hall light.
"Or maybe not," he sighed, then jumped through the already-open window, the cheers of the student body following his short descent.

Upon touching the ground, he noted that there were a number of students gathering around the windows who weren't watching before, apparently attracted by the sound of shattering glass.
'Sheesh. Don't any of them care about getting to class?' Ranma dusted off his hands, then turned toward Min, who was smirking at him.
To her credit, she didn't have a mark on her from breaking through the window beyond a few small rips in her uniform. Still, Ranma had been only marginally impressed with her abilities so far, and wondered if more open terrain would really make a difference in the outcome of this battle.
Min closed one of her war fans and pointed it at Ranma, smiling. "You're good! Very good! But now it's time to get serious! Hee-YAH!!!"
Rather than attacking, as Ranma would have expected from such an exclamation, Min grabbed the sleeve of her uniform and whirled around, obscuring her form for just a moment in a whirlwind of cloth.
Ranma blinked. Min stood before him once more, but now she was wearing some sort of skimpy ninja outfit. It was mostly composed of two long cotton strips of blue and white cloth tied at her waist that came up over her breasts and over her shoulders, and were again tied at her waist in back, ending in two cloth tails. Those same two strips merged into one to cover her front below the waist, but not very well.

Inside the school building, Tomas covered his face with his hand in mortification as he leaned on the windowsill. He had seen Mai wearing that exact type of outfit before, only in a red and white color scheme. He had honestly believed that they'd never have actually worn that in public, never mind a fight.
Of course, given the elevated volume and number of wolf whistles, at least half the general public didn't mind one bit.

Min took a moment to pose for her foe, who was simply staring in disbelief with a sweatdrop on the back of his head. "Well? What do you think?" She grinned as the noise from the school increased.
Every so slowly, Ranma raised his hand to scratch his head. "Uh... where'd the skirt go?"
Min giggled. "A skirt's too hard to fight in. And this complements my body much better, don't you think?" She winked suggestively.
Ranma's hand moved to rub his chin slightly. "Isn't it cold in that thing? Spring just started, ya know. What if it rains?"
Min blinked and stopped posing. "Er... well, it keeps the right parts warm, I guess. And I don't wear it when it rains."
Ranma crossed his arms, frowning. "Is it really that easy to move in? I mean, it sorta makes sense, 'cause you're half naked, but with those weird tails, it seems like you'd be tripping all over the-"
"Hey!" Min interrupted irritably, "Would you stop criticizing my dress and just leer at it like everybody else?!"
"All right, all right, sorry! Yeesh." Ranma muttered to himself, and quite deliberately focused his gaze on Min's cleavage. "Is that better?"
She nodded. "Much. Kachou sen!" A fan whizzed through the air, and Ranma jumped over it, twisting to aim a hammer punch at the ninja girl. Now that he had plenty of space to maneuver, he found the projectiles much easier to deal with.
Min backed away from the aerial attack, then lashed out with a back kick that pegged Ranma on the arm.
Shrugging off the hit, Ranma punched for the ninja girl's face, which she quickly darted away from.
Min tried two more quick jabs, each of which were quickly deflected, and then felt Ranma's boot dig into her midsection. Grimacing, she twisted completely around, calling out the name of one the Shiranui style's trademark attacks. "Ryuuen bu!"
Ranma blinked as the cloth tails hanging off of Min's waist whipped around, wondering what that was supposed to do. Then fire flared around them, and his eyes widened as the attack hit home, smashing into him with far more force than he would have thought it could.
Ranma hit the ground hard, rolling to gain some distance and put out the small embers on his body.
"Hissatsu shinobi bachi!" Doing a cartwheel on the ground, she crossed the distance between her and Ranma, holding her elbow out to slam into his chest.
Ranma merely blocked, his larger body mass easily holding him upright and balanced as Min put her whole body weight into the attack. "Kind of a long name for an elbow charge, don'cha think?"
Then he blinked as Min clasped his shoulders. "I agree!" Flipping over Ranma's head, her feet touched the ground again right before she tossed the pigtailed boy overhead, throwing him into a nearby tree. "That's why I had to improve upon it a little!"
Ranma's eye twitched as he slowly slid to the ground, headfirst. "All right," he muttered, rolling onto his back and then slowly picking himself up. "No more mister nice guy." His aura flared slightly, and the air around him began to distort around him as he was surrounded by a corona of purple heat.
Min looked a bit less sure of herself now. 'Oh well. Too late to keep from pissing him off now. But does getting angry make him stronger, or make him sloppier?' Deciding to find out, she crossed her arms in front of her, a bladed fan in each hand. "Sui chou no mai!" Her own aura flashed, and she let her two fans fly before snatching up another one and tossing it too, each one lighting ablaze as they whirled toward their target.
Ranma's eyes narrowed, and he snorted as the fiery projectiles flew towards him. "Time to end this! Ya otome!" Ranma's aura exploded around him, and he shot forward low to the ground, easily zipping under the burning weapons.

Inside the school building, Tomas winced repeatedly as he watched Min get the tar beaten out of her.
"Ouch! Ooh! Oh! Ow!" The crowds of students joined him, several of them making sympathetic, pained noises.
"That had to hurt!"
"Now that's fast!"
"She's gonna feel that in the morning!"
Tomas moved his hand from where he'd covered his eyes, only to cover them again as Ranma shoved Min to the ground and leaned over her for the second phase of his special combo.
"Wow! Look at that!"
"Gods! How brutal!"
"Damn! And I thought Yagami was rough on Kuno!"
The last explosion echoed through the school grounds, and a thin trail of smoke wafted up through the tall trees ringing the school courtyard. Shaking his head, Tomas turned away from the window and took out his class schedule. He was already late for whatever class was held next, but he wasn't about to cut the class entirely.
"Hey look! Yagami's dragging Bogard into the school!"
"Into the nurse's office?"
"I hope so. Did you see how many times he hit her?"
"I couldn't count; he was moving too fast. Wasn't that part at the end a bit much, though?"
"Hey, she did challenge him. Play with fire, and you get burned."
"Nice analogy."
"Huh? Oh! Heh. I just got that."
Tomas considered for a moment, then pocketed the schedule and asked a nearby student directions to the nurse's office. He hated chemistry anyway.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Ryoga looked up into the crisp, clear sky, wondering.
He spent a lot of time thinking, contrary to popular opinion. And he got so much time alone as he wandered aimlessly, it could be said that he did ALL his thinking on the road, with nobody around.
Sadly, his thoughts were often as misguided, random, and inadequate as his path of travel. It was actually quite rare that he thought up anything but fleeting fantasies; ghostly images of him standing over a beaten and bloody Ranma Yagami, the poor fool begging for mercy below him.
*Poke*
Then there was that other one with a raging, psychotic Orochi Ranma being carted away in a big cage by the people in white coats.
*Poke*
Rather silly, that one. Ryoga was pretty sure there was no metal cage that could hold Ranma, much less in his beserk state.
*Poke* "Hey mister!"
Then there was that other one, where Akane was taking him in pig form to take a bath, and put him in...
*Poke* *Poke* "Mister! Hey! Are you awake?"
A bit of drool leaked from the side of Ryoga's mouth as that fantasy progressed a bit. Then he shook his head wildly, his face reddening. Like she'd ever take it THAT well.
*Poke* *Poke* "Is he dead?" "No, I just saw him move!" "Why is he blushing?"
But this was no time for erotic fantasies! He had some serious thinking to do!
*Poke* "This isn't working. Hand me the ball."
Ryoga pressed his fingers to his head in concentration and grit his teeth.
*Bump*
A couple beads of sweat slipped down his brow. Almost there...
*Bump*
And then, like a single ant crawling out from under a bucket of sand, a blinding, fantastic revelation broke through the foggy surface of his mind.
*Bump* *Bump* "He still won't move!"
'I can't beat Ranma. He's better than me.'
It was the single greatest mental achievement Ryoga had made in months.
"Let's just play around him!" "We can't! He's in the way!" "Hey, let's doodle on him!"
It was true, and as the reality of his admission sunk in, he felt himself sink into depression. All his training, hard work, and moronic relentlessness; all for naught. Ranma was still better than him, damn the stupid pyro, and no short-term improvement or general training could possibly even the odds enough to change the eventual outcome of their next battle.
*Bap* *Pow* "Look! He doesn't even notice when you kick him!" "Let's pour sand in his shirt!"
Ryoga frowned. Some long-term training was in order. Definitely. The kind that involved far away lands, deep forests full of dangerous animals, quarries with perilous boulders perched upon unstable rock piles, and relatively unclean, sub-standard Thai restaurants. It was time for a training journey.
*Whang!!* Ryoga's head pitched foward, and he slowly turned around to see a young boy holding the aluminum baseball bat currently lodged in his skull.
"What are you doing?" He asked miserably.
The boy blinked, and several of his little companions backed away from the now-cognizant lost boy (who still didn't notice the drawings on his face or the sand in his shirt and pants).
"Hey mister, why are you sitting down in the middle of the basketball court?"
Ryoga blinked, and then looked around. On all sides of him, little children ran across the courts, clumsily dribbling large orange balls and tossing them at suspended hoops.
"Oh. Uh... sorry." Getting up, Ryoga hefted his backpack onto one shoulder and walked in a random direction.
'I will train hard! And then, in, say, a month-NO!! A few months, I will return and crush you, Yagami!'
His depression floating away upon waves of mad determination, Ryoga began laughing insanely.
"Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha hee bwee bwee bwee bwee!" Ryoga's backpack fell heavily atop the wet grass, and the small piglet struggled out from under his clothes.
'Damn automatic sprinklers. They're out to get me, I know it. It's all a conspiracy. Ranma's conspiracy. Really.' Letting his thoughts trail off into incoherency (as if they had far to go), Ryoga walked out of the sprinkler radius and shook himself irritably, trying to dry himself, and completely forgetting that he'd have to go back to get his clothes and backpack anyway.
"Oh! What a cute little piggy!"
'!#%&!' Ryoga thought. Eye twitching as he was swept off his little hooves, the porcine martial artist found himself cuddled in the small arms of a little girl as she carted him off toward her friends, and away from his soggy supplies.
Soon he was in the midst of it all, being handed from one little girl to the next like some kind of toy and being cuddled against chests and petted. And none of them had even developed breasts yet. What a gyp.
"He's adorable! Are you going to keep him?"
"No, my parents won't let me have a pet."
"That's too bad. It looks like he could use a home. Look, he's all wet and dirty."
"Why don't you take him Yurumi?"
"Well, I... I guess I could. Actually, my brother has a cat now. Maybe Mom would let me have a pig."
"If not, you should at least feed him something. The poor thing must be starving."
Food? Now that could be good, as long as they didn't try to feed him normal pet food, or leftover slop. Looking up into the little girl's face, he squealed softly and started with his standard cute act.
"Yeah! School's almost out. I'll just take him home then."
It was odd though. The girl he was looking at seemed awfully familiar for some reason, and the longer he looked at her, the more he got a sense of foreboding and dread. Almost as if a faded memory was trying to jog his danger sense into high alert. But that was silly, right? What did he have to fear from some little redheaded girl?
__________________________________________________________________________________

*Groan* "Owww... what hit me?"
Min felt a tingling sensation as her mind stepped into the blinding reception of full consciousness, and tiny shots of pain struck her as she started to move.
"Sshh. It's alright. You'll be fine. Just rest."
Min opened her eyes, and the harsh glare of fluorescent lights forced them closed again. "Ra... Ranma?" Well, at least she was assuming the mostly black blur in front of her was Ranma. All the other people at the school wore standard uniforms. Slowly blinking her eyes to adjust fully to the lighting, she could see Ranma smiling down at her from where he sat by her feet in one of the chairs that lined the wall of the room she was in.
Shifting once more, she winced and tried to appraise her injuries. Multiple bruises, obviously, but at least she remembered getting those. The left side of her also felt somewhat oily. Was that burn tonic? When did he-?
Then she managed to recall the end of the battle, she sweatdropped slightly. "Ouch."
Ranma smiled slightly and looked a bit sheepish. "I guess I went a little too far. I'm sorry."
Min smiled as she sat up, even as it irritated her bruises and sore arm. "There's nothing to be sorry for. I understand. Thank you."
He looked surprised. "Thank you? For what?"
"For taking me seriously in the end. For fighting me like a real opponent, and not pulling your punched because I'm a girl." Min stopped for a moment, then raised an eyebrow at her former foe. "Though I suspect you were going easy on me in the beginning."
Ranma chuckled. "Well, it's a habit. Besides, I couldn't possibly damage that cute face of yours."
Min grinned. "Well I deserve what I get, challenging a hot stud like you."
Blushing slightly, Ranma stood up. "Well, I'll go get the nurse. You should rest."
Ranma stopped as Min's hand lashed out, grabbing his wrist tightly. Hesitantly, he looked back to see if anything was wrong.
"Please, I... don't go. Not yet." Min pleaded, feeling silly despite herself. What was it about Ranma's presence that she found so comforting?
Blinking in confusion, Ranma allowed Min to pull him back towards the small bed. When he was about to take his former seat in the chair, Min tugged on his hand a bit, and he ended up sitting on the bed next to her legs instead.
Min noted that her clothes had been changed into one of those tacky hospital gowns, and idly wondered about her former ninja outfit. Just as quickly, she banished her curiosity. There would be time for that later.
"Are we... alone?"
Ranma nodded. "Yeah. The nurse had some stuff to do, so she told me to get her if you needed anything. She also told me to lock the door, for a completely implausible reason that I won't try to explain."
Min's hand tightened on Ranma's, and she felt her heart racing. Whether it was Ranma's deep blue eyes, the gentle caress of his hand, or the combination of painkillers she was on, the room seemed to be warming up rather quickly.
"Well... there IS something I need... but I can't get it from the nurse..." She tugged his arm slightly, and the pigtailed boy leaned over her in concern.
"No kidding? What's thammmph..."
Min's lips folded over Ranma's, and she wrapped her arms around his waist, moving one hand up to hold the back of his head as she kissed him hungrily.
Ranma responded immediately, returning the kiss with surprising passion. His hands fell onto the small bed as Min pulled him down on top of her, and he then slowly lowered the both of them down, gently pressing his weight against Min's firm, tender body.
Despite his gentleness, and the comfort of his hands slowly moving to roam over her thighs, Min couldn't help feeling the slight soreness from her movements, and took firm hold of Ranma's back as she rolled to move on top.

*Thud* "Ow!"
"Min! Are you okay?"
Min groaned and moved her hand to massage her nose, sore from the impact against the hard tile floor.
Wait, it had hit the floor? And wasn't that Tomas's voice?
Blinking to adjust to the light, Min held her slightly throbbing head with one hand while pushing herself up with the other. Upon standing, she saw Tomas sitting backwards in a chair next to her bed, his arms resting on the backrest.
"Tomas? What are you doing here?"
"I've been sitting here for a while now. I wanted to make sure you were okay." Tomas answered casually. No big deal to him.
"You shouldn't be up quite yet, young lady. Let the ointments settle in for little while longer; they'll help your burns."
Min turned to see a gentle-looking middle-aged woman smiling at her, doubtlessly the nurse.
She turned back to Tomas, then her head swiveled to look at the nurse. Then she quickly scanned the rest of the room.
"Where's Ranma?"
"Yagami?" Tomas asked, blinking, "he took off after he carried you here."
Min blinked, then frowned. "That wasn't very romantic of him."
Tomas and the nurse sweatdropped.
"Uh... well, no, I guess it wasn't." Tomas muttered.
"Mr. Yagami had classes. Otherwise, I'm sure he'd be here with you." The nurse doubted it, but it wasn't her problem. "For now, back into bed. And try not to roll out this time."
"Sorry," Min said, climbing back onto the small cot. "How long was I out for?"
"Two hours now," Tomas answered, yawning right after.
Min's eyes widened. "Two hours?"
"Well, I could see that you were sleeping quite deeply after a while, so I decided it was best to dress your wounds and let you rest," the nurse explained.
Min sweatdropped slightly. "But if a person is knocked unconscious for two hours, shouldn't you take them to a hospital?"
The nurse just smiled. "We used to, but after the third paramedic strike, and the scrapping of possible plans to build a rail system between Furinkan and the nearest emergency room, it was determined that outfitting Furinkan's medical branch to facilitate mass cases of blunt impact trauma, concussion, and other conditions that are generally associated with being beaten to within an inch of your life would be far more efficient and economical." She continued smiling, and handed Min a small, glossy pamphlet.
"Here's some information about health insurance and low-cost, high-frequency medical care. Inside is an offer for 'Do It Yourself Chiropractic', a bestseller among our students, and an advertisement for Dr. Tofu, a very good local physician. Ask about his 'frequent fighter' program and save big on fixing minor skeletal fractures!" The nurse smiled brightly, laughing.
Huge sweatdrops rolled down the two Bogards' heads.
"Uhm... thanks." Min managed to spit out. She was slightly worried that she'd get in trouble for starting a fight and missing class, but that was seeming less and less likely.
"It's no problem!" The nurse exclaimed, leaning over slightly to one side. "While you're here, may I ask if you plan on stopping by often?"
Min blinked. "Well... not if I can help it, I assure you. I mean, I win most of my fights..."
The nurse smiled a bit nervously. "I'm sure you do. But, if you plan on fighting often, you may want to rent out a personal bed!" 'Sheesh, advertising AND profiteering. It's so hard to get by on a public education salary nowadays.'
Min twitched slightly. "A personal bed? What kind of an idiot gets beaten up so often that they've reserved a bed for themselves?"
*Bam* The door opened suddenly, and all three occupants turned to see Hiroshi and Daisuke enter the room carrying a burned, fire-blackened husk between them.
The nurse sighed. "Twice already? It's not even lunch yet. He could end up coming back two more times before the day is out."
Hiroshi and Daisuke quickly carted Kuno to the end of the room, and then tossed him onto an elaborate, well-made bed with full sheets, fluffy pillows, and a thick comforter. A sign above the bed had [Tatewaki Kuno] written on it.
The nurse frowned slightly. "Thank you boys, but why did you bring him here? You're not in his class, are you?"
Hiroshi grinned. "Nabiki didn't want to get ash on her hands, so she said that we could do it, and charge Kuno her normal service fee!"
Daisuke rubbed his hands, which were gray with soot. "Heh. Easiest 1000 yen I ever made."
"But Nabiki usually charges..." the nurse trailed off, then shrugged. "Never mind. Was he just burned, or did he take any other hits?"
Hiroshi shook his head. "Nah. He was blasted before he got within arm's reach. Oh! And could you give this to Kuno when he wakes up?" he handed the nurse a piece of paper, and she took it, blinking to herself.
"'To the captain of the kendo club, the frequently-defeated bloody moron of Furinkan High: Though I'm impressed you managed to wrench your sword out of the locker, I'm keeping the stupid katana this time. Ranma Yagami. PS: Stop with the metal swords, or I won't put the fire out next time. Seriously.'" she finished reading, and then nodded, placing the note on the small table next to Kuno's bed.
Min got a dazed look in her eyes, and she started rocking from side to side slightly. "My head hurts... and I don't think it's the painkillers wearing off..."
Tomas turned toward her. "Well... I have to admit, I knew Japanese schools were different from the ones in America, but I really had no idea..."
The nurse scanned Kuno's injuries for a moment, then decided that they were too extensive for her to deal with. Thus, ignoring Kuno completely, she turned around and noted that the two boys who had brought the crippled kendoist in were openly leering at Min (whose gown had mysteriously become undone at the neck right before she rolled off her bed).
"All right you three, off to class with you. Injured people only." Shooing the male students away, she closed the door behind them, and then turned back to Kuno. Behind her, Min sighed lightly and put her head down, quickly falling into a light slumber.
Shaking her head, the nurse took a nearby bucket and filled it with water. She didn't hold it against Ranma that he kept sending Kuno to her; the boy was clearly an idiot (not to mention an agressive one), and had become a regular patient far before Ranma had ever started going to Furinkan. Still, since the Yagami boy had arrived, Kuno's regular number of visits to her had tripled, and she'd had to significantly increase her stock of burn ointments.
Of course, that didn't mean she had to use them EVERY time Kuno needed medical care.
*Splash* Wet ashes dripped down the kendoist's expensive blankets. staining the damp comforter a dark gray.
"I REALLY don't get paid enough for this," she muttered, and then left for the staff lounge.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Hey Tomas, is your cousin okay?"
The American turned at Ranma's voice to see the pigtailed boy standing in his boxers in front of the locker across the narrow room. And although Ranma had asked it casually enough, Tomas could also tell that there was some real concern behind what may seem a question of obligation.
He smiled slightly. "Yeah, she woke up before I left." He chuckled. "I think she was disappointed that you weren't there to greet her."
Ranma snorted as he pulled on his gym pants. "Why? So that she could challenge me to a rematch after school?"
Tomas blinked, then pulled his shirt down over his head. "Don't be stupid. What kind of an idiot would ask for a rematch so soon after a loss?"
All at once, Tomas felt himself subjected to the incredulous stares of the entire locker room.
Ranma sighed and jabbed a thumb at Tomas as he addressed the other boys. "He's new."
"Ah"s of understanding reverberated through the room, and everybody went back to dressing.
Tomas shook his head. It was very strange, true, but he had to admit, Furinkan seemed to be a lot more fun than the schools in South Town.

The gym coach gave each of his students a harsh, arrogant glare as he walked down the length of the basketball court, casually tossing a basketball up in the air and catching it on the way down.
The students mostly took his nasty looks with all the apathy of a rock caught outside in the rain. They had all been subjected to this many times before, and each knew that the man's bark was worse than his bite.
Tomas didn't know this, but had the lofty, superior mental status of a man who knew he was looking at a total physical inferior. His nearly superhuman strength and speed made him a natural favorite of gym teachers. All he'd do is wait for a challenge and then impress the hell out of them.
Eye contact was made. Tomas smirked. The coach frowned.
"You there! Blondie! What's your name?!" He shouted, planting one fist on his left hip.
Tomas tipped the bill of his cap up slightly, still smirking. "Tomas Bogard, reporting for duty, SIR." He let a little bit of mocking tone into his voice. He didn't like the man's attitude.
The coach nodded. "I can see you're new here. Tell me, you a fighter?"
Tomas looked away, smiling a bit more. "I like to think so."
"One of them high-profile martial artist types?"
Tomas blinked, but then smiled again. "High-profile? Yeah, sounds like me."
The coach nodded, his face still serious. "How many stories can you jump?"
Tomas's smile disappeared. "Uh... two, I guess. Probably three if I get a running start."
"You use any weapons?"
"No."
"Can you knock down a tree by punching it?"
Tomas blinked a few times. "Er... depends on how big a tree, but generally, yeah."
"Steel girder?"
"It'd hurt, but I could probably do it."
"Can you turn invisible or phase out of normal space and/or time?"
Tomas sweatdropped. "No."
"Can you travel at supersonic speeds?"
"Er... almost. Only in a straight line, though."
"Can you fly, make continuous jumps in the air, or dematerialize into different states of matter?"
Tomas twitched this time. "No. I can't do that."
"Can you throw energy blasts of any size, power, or composition?"
Tomas blinked repeatedly, scratching the back of his head. "Yeah, sure."
"Can you create an aura so powerful or massive that it actually changes your physical form, spontaneously take on the form of a god or god-like being, or make people's heads explode by punching them?"
Tomas slumped slightly. "No," he deadpanned.
The coach nodded. "All right then. You're captain of team 1. Yagami, you're heading team 2."

Sighing deeply, the American fighter took his place next to the coach. 'So much for impressing him.' "Yo, what is this anyway? What kind of game are we playing?"
The coach smirked, turning away from the class. "Well blondie, today we happen to be playing..." suddenly he whirled around and jabbed his hand toward the crowd, making a "V" with his fingers. "MARTIAL ARTS BASKETBALL!!!" A backdrop with the Rising Sun of Japan's national flag rolled down behind him, and trumpets blared from out of nowhere.
Tomas's mouth hung open slightly. "Martial arts... basketball?"
The students behind him were less confused, but no less nonplussed.
"Aw man, not again!"
"I thought we were moving on to martial arts soccer?"
"Can't we at least do an outside martial arts sport so we can watch the girls' class?"
As the class broke down into disgruntled muttering, Tomas noticed that Ranma had taken his place on the court next to him, though the pigtailed boy was massaging his forehead irritably.
"All right, you all know the rules, now split up and-"
"Urm, yo, Coach? I don't know the rules." Tomas interrupted.
The man blinked. "Oh. Right. Well, it's like this."
The man pulled a chart down out of nowhere that displayed a large square representing the basketball court.
"The rules are simple. It's just like regular basketball." The coach drew numerous "X"s onto the court in red pen to represent the players.
Tomas scratched his head, frowning. "Then why-"
"EXCEPT," the coach interrupted, "that each player gets his own ball." He turned to the chart and drew little circles in front of the X's, representing the basketballs.
Tomas blink-blinked.
"Players all make a mad dash to the other side of the court, and try to score points by landing the ball into the special hoops." He drew little arrows from the various "X"s that all intersected each other.
"Special?" Tomas looked back at the basketball hoops, and realized that the netting was a lot longer than normal, and that the bottom was tied shut.
The coach nodded. "Yes. Because each player tries to score by himself, defense is quick and clean. Players attack and try to disable their opponents as they pass by to shoot their own points!" The man's hand blurred, and soon there was a set of crossed battleaxes over every spot that two arrows met.
A large sweatdrop rolled down Tomas's head.
"Any time a ball is knocked out of an opponent's hand, players who have already scored points or lost their own starting ball can pick it up and try for more points." His hand blurred again, and some stick figures of unconscious people appeared on the chart, with a few arrows branching out from the fight symbols toward either basket.
Tomas teetered to one side a bit, then fell over.
"Sissy rules like fouls and boundary limits do not apply. The game ends when there are no more balls in play, or when one entire team is rendered unconscious. At that point, the total number of balls in each teams' basket is tallied, and the one with the most wins, regardless of whose team was knocked out." The coach's hand was once more a blur, and soon the box was filled with arrows, "X"s, balls, and battleaxes. Finally, he turned toward Tomas, who was picking himself off the ground. "Got all that, blondie?"
"So in other words," Tomas mumbled, standing up fully, "it's nothing like regular basketball."
The coach blinked, then looked back at his chart. After scratching his head, he turned back to the American and shrugged. "Pretty much." The man grabbed the bottom of the chart and snapped it down, causing the diagram to shoot back up to wherever it came from.
Tomas sighed as people started gathering, one at a time, next to either him or Ranma. 'Gym class was never like this back in the States!'
The coach waited until both teams were gathered around the captains, and then nodded in satisfaction. "All right, then gear up and get ready!" He tugged on a rope that hung from the ceiling next to him, and a section of bleachers lining the wall of the gym rolled out and to the side, revealing a cut-out section of the wall with weapon racks filled with clubs, bokkens, staffs, hammers, and nunchucks.
"Weapons if you want 'em! And remember, you'll need one hand to dribble!" Tomas stood there and goggled at the sight and Ranma planted his fists on his hips as the rest of the class jogged for the weapons, grabbing up everything in sight.

Tomas got in the middle of the left half of the basketball court as his team spread out around him, and watched Ranma and the opposing team do the same on the right half.
The coach waited until everyone was in position, then raised his arm. "Now remember guys; it's just a game. It doesn't matter who wins."
There was much rolling of eyes and nods of agreement.
"Duh. Who cares?"
"Yeah, if we put too much effort into it, we could get killed!"
The coach smirked. "It only matters who LOSES!!!" The class blinked, and he continued. "Because the losing team has to do five laps around the school! Now GO!!!" His arm fell, marking the beginning of the game.
The class stared at him for a moment, and their gazes slowly turned to meet their counterparts on the opposing team.
And then, as one, the two great waves crashed into each other like two armies out for blood.

Ranma cursed the gym teacher under his breath as he kicked an opponent in the shin, and then ducked under a wooden staff, dribbling his basketball all the while. Backhanding his attacker, Ranma lined up a shot with his ball and jumped into the air, avoiding a student who was charging under him. Pursing his lips, he wound his arm back before launching the ball across the court, slamming it against the backboard and causing the entire basket to shake slightly as the ball shot into the tied-off hoop.
There was some scattered cheering, which Ranma ignored, landing on the back of another, more defensive opponent and kicking off the boy's back.
Suddenly, there were cheers from the opposing team, and Ranma turned to see Tomas spin-kick somebody on the other end of the court, his hands noticeably empty.
Ranma launched himself for some skirmishes that were taking place at the half-court line, and freed up two of his teammates to go for points as their counterparts hit the polished hardwook floor in bruised heaps.
Seeing another basketball fly into the other hoop, Ranma ran across the ground and scooped up one for himself, laying next to a groaning Hikaru Gosunkugi.
"Burn knuckle!"
Ranma's eyes widened, and he hit the ground hard as Tomas rushed by just over his head. There were extremely pained noises as two of Ranma's teammates flew into the air from being in Tomas's line of fire, going a good three to six meters before they finally hit the ground again.
Ranma back-kicked a boy who was trying to nail him with a club, and then threw his ball as Tomas slowed to a stop near his basket.
*Bap!* Tomas shouted in surprise as the ball impacted off his head, then bounced up to fall into the basket, quickly followed by another ball.
Growling, the American fighter turned around, and saw Ranma making a dash for two of many balls that were now haplessly rolling across the court.
Once the pigtailed fighter grabbed a ball in each hand, he dribbled them skillfully down back to his team's basket, only to find Tomas waiting for him in a slight crouch. Ranma took up each of the balls, then made a leap over the American for the basket.
"Crack shot!" Tomas did a somersault from the ground, his foot lashing out as he flipped to peg Ranma in the chest and slam him to the ground. Ranma's two basketballs flew erratically across the court as his hands left them, and one was scooped up by Ranma's own teammate.
Tomas immediately pursued the other basketball, leaving Ranma to pick himself off the ground.
"Why that little..." Ranma grumbled to himself as he saw Tomas grab the ball and make for the basket, and swept his hand over the ground. "Yami barai!"
The flame attack streaked across the ground, and Tomas didn't notice until it was too late. Purple flame blasted him and knocked the ball away, and by the time the American got his bearings back, he was watching Ranma dunk a ball into his hoop.
"This is no good..." he mused, noting that Ranma's hoop held a few more basketballs, and that Ranma's team had a few more conscious players. "We need some strategy..." he trailed off as he noticed one of the players for his team slowly standing up next to him. "Hey you!" The boy blinked, and pointed to himself. "Yeah! Hey, this is what we're gonna do..."

Ranma rushed to the defensive, and a hapless player who was on the wrong team only had time to shout before he was tripped up by a leg sweep and fell face-first onto the hardwood floor. Ranma ignored the groaning boy's basketball as he spied a different one on an arc toward his basket, and leapt upwards.
The boy who had thrown the ball was just about to start a victory dance, when Ranma swooped in from the side and tackled the sure basket out of the air.
Landing on an opponent trying to get up, Ranma quickly scanned the court and then threw his cargo to a boy he recognized. "Hiroshi! Go for it!"
Hiroshi managed to club a foe over the head who was getting ready to intercept the ball, but his weapon was knocked out of his hand from the force of the basketball as it slammed into his chest.
Wheezing slightly, he turned around and started dribbling toward the basket, and then stopped in surprise.
Standing in front of him was a boy decked out in padding and protective gear from just about every sport imaginable, to the point that Hiroshi couldn't even tell if it was someone he knew. On top of that, the mystery player had a large pool net with a seven-foot handle, which he held at the ready.
Shaking his head slightly, Hiroshi lined up the shot, and threw the ball.
Predictably, the armored figure swept the air with his net, barely catching the basketball before it completed its arc into the hoop.

From across the court, Ranma's eye twitched. "Who the HELL is that?!"
Tomas chuckled from his position on the half-court line. "He's our goalie!"
Ranma watched as a few of his teammates tried to assault the figure, only to be swatted away by the large net, their attacks rendered ineffective against such heavy padding. "There are no goalies in basketball!"
The goalie reared back his net, which still had the ball within it, and then launched it forward on a vague arc toward the other end of the court.
Tomas smirked. "That's okay..." then he leapt up into the air, catching the ball before slamming it into the hoop with such force that the entire basket shook.
Landing, he turned back to Ranma, tipping his cap up slightly, "... this is nothing like basketball!"
Ranma twitched some more. "All right Bogard. You wanna get serious?"
Tomas stopped smiling. "Oh, I'm MORE than serious. So are you gonna stop joking around?" He tugged on his fingerless leather gloves, adjusting them.
Ranma slowly brought up a single fist and closed it tightly, the knuckles popping. "Well, if you insist..." Then he blinked as he felt someone tap him on the shoulder.
Turning around, he could see that Daisuke was frowning at him while nursing a bruised arm. "Uh, Ranma? While Bogard was distracting you, his team made three points."
*Thud!* Ranma fell heavily to the ground.
"Wait, there's another one... it's in. Make that four."
Flipping to his feet, Ranma was suddenly a blur on the court, slamming into opposing player and knocking their balls toward his team's basket. Before long, there wasn't a single basketball on his side of the court, and the only players up and running were his own teammates.
However, looking at the other end of the gym, he saw several of his players all shooting at once for the basket, only to have the balls snatched away with a swipe of the massive pool net.
Growling slightly, he saw Tomas grab a ball lying on the half-court line and make a beeline for him.
"Oh no you don-" Tomas smirked and jumped up just as he was about to enter Ranma's reach, slamming the pigtailed boy in the jaw with his knee and coincidentally ending the taunt prematurely.
"Power..." Tomas gained more air, and finally reached the apex of his attack, twisting his body to aim the ball toward the hoop. "Dunk!" The ball was surrounded by a corona of ki energy at it slammed fiercely into the basket hoop, and the mount shook slightly as the backboard exploded from the force, showering the court with cheap plastic.
"Whoa..." The players that were still conscious stared with wide eyes, most wondering where someone who hadn't even known what martial arts basketball was had learned a move that seemed so utterly suited for it.
Ranma growled as he wiped plastic shards off his shoulders and out of his hair, while consciously keeping his hands away from his throbbing jaw. "Stop joking around, you say? All right then..." His aura flared, and suddenly his entire form sped toward the heavily padded goalie, faded afterimages trailing behind him.
Tomas's eyes widened. "You're crazy! You can't use that on him! You could kill him!" Not willing to trust the pigtailed boy to accept his reason, Tomas raced forward with the intent of pummeling Ranma before he could get too far into his special combo.
The goalie simply stood petrified as Ranma streaked toward him, not even noticing as a few balls flew by toward the hoop.
Ranma reached his prey, and his form seemed to instantly materialize as he took firm hold of the catcher's chest pad that his foe was wearing. "Yagami Anything-Goes Special Attack!"
Then, he let go with one hand and flung that fist backward over his shoulder, firmly clocking Tomas in the face.
"Fake out!"
Tomas reeled backward, holding his nose and shouting incoherently. After a moment, he got into his usual fighting stance, glaring at Ranma. "That was really cheap."
Ranma snorted. "No, not really. This is." Then he casually shoved the goalie, who still hadn't unfrozen.
The boy started cartwheeling as he lost his balance, but to no avail as he fell heavily onto his armored back. After a moment of blinking in surprise, he began to get up again, only to find that with all his padding, he possessed neither the leverage nor the flexibility to move himself very much.
Tomas sweatdropped as the boy floundered on the hardwood floor, utterly helpless. His large pool net clattered to the ground near him, but just out of arm's reach.
"Give it up Bogard. It's over."
Tomas frowned and scanned the court behind him, noting with alarm that there was only a single ball left, being dribbled down the court toward their position by a dark-haired boy.
"We have a saying in America..." Tomas deliberately turned away from Ranma and faced Daisuke, who stopped in surprise and quickly looked about for someone to toss the ball to (as Ranma was right behind Tomas, he did not seem to be a reasonable option).
"It's not over until the fat lady sings! Burn knuckle!" Tomas streaked across the court, and easily blasted Daisuke to the side just as the boy was about to make a pass to a teammate.
Slowing into a skid, the American dove for the wild basketball, hitting the ground in a roll and then flipping to his feet, stopping just four meters away from the basket.
He began to line up the shot, and then dodged to the side just as Ranma's form streaked by.
Ranma's kick impacted the floor heavily, digging into the hardwood floor and causing a small explosion of splintered wood. Swiftly yanking his foot out, he turned toward the American fighter and flared his aura, purple flame blackening the floor around him.
"You want that last basket, Bogard, you've gotta go through me."
Tomas set his jaw in concentration, small beads of sweat rolling down his face. "Hey, don't you think that this is way too much pain and effort to go through to avoid a punishment that's far less strenuous?"
"Stop with the thinking and make your move already!" Ranma shouted irritably.
'Okay, that tac didn't work,' Tomas mulled over in his head, afraid that at any moment Ranma would lose his patience and strike. 'How can I pull this off? He knows exactly where I'm going, and if he should-'
Suddenly, to Tomas's surprise, Ranma's aura winked out and an expression of profound confusion blossomed on his face.
"Wait... fat lady? Singing? What the hell does all that mean?"
Tomas declined to answer the question in favor of jumping forward, and Ranma was caught totally off-guard as Tomas used his face as a springboard to fly towards the basket.
*Whoosh* The ball entered the hoop, and Tomas spun around as he hit the floor again to face the court.

"Okay!!" Tomas grabbed his hat by the bill and threw it into the air, and the article landed on the back of Gosunkugi's head, metal plate down. "All right guys! We did it!"
"Yaaaay..." was the groaned/choked out response from his team members, of which only a fourth were remotely conscious.
Ranma stood there dumbfounded. "But... wait... no, seriously, what did you mean by that thing with the fat lady?"
Tomas just rolled his eyes, and smirked as the coach approached.
"Well blondie, you didn't do too bad for your first time."
Tomas crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, as little as this actually had to do with basketball, I've always been good at the sport."
The coach nodded absently, his eyes roaming over the two nets. "Uh huh. Sure. Yagami, you got 18. Bogard, you got 16. Yagami's team wins."
*Wham!!* Tomas hit the ground hard, doing a perfect perfect imitation of a classic Japanese facefault.
The coach tapped him in the side with his shoe. "Help your teammates to the nurse's office. I want them in good enough shape to run their laps before school's out."
Tomas just groaned in response.
The coach nodded in satisfaction, then walked away, writing things on a clipboard.
Seeing that the teacher had finished, Ranma walked up to the American martial artist and leaned down over him.
"So seriously, what was up with that whole 'fat lady' deal? I mean, where do you GET something like that? It sounds pretty stupid to me."
Tomas just groaned louder.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Kuno awoke, not for the first time, with the sensation of damp cloth clinging to him.
Also not entirely unfamiliar was the seething irritation of burnt flesh despite the cold wetness. He had learned to ignore the feeling, just as he had learned to put aside all feelings of discomfort that threatened his performance in battle or his indominable arrogance (for that matter, he had learned to completely ignore ANYTHING that he didn't feel like dealing with or acknowledging).
Quickly getting up, he pushed aside the soggy comforter and quickly ascertained that he was in his personal bed in the nurse's office. He then came to the next obvious conclusion: the fiend Yagami had once more banished him with his dark and demonic magics! However, once again, his godly constitution had protected him from mortal harm and brought him back to consciousness and health within the realm of the nearest healer. In fact, feeling his pockets out, he even had more money than he usually did after these "trips". Surely he was most blessed!
Kuno got out of bed and stepped over to the tall dresser beside his elaborate cot. Opening it, he looked over the numerous kendo outfits (all of which were the same color and design) before nodding his head decisively and taking one out.
Unmindful of the possibility of others in the room, he stripped down to his underwear and then slipped into his clothes. As he was tying the sash of his pants, he noticed something on the night table next to the dresser; a note written in a sharp, informal handwriting.
As he read the note, his face turned more and more red with rage, and as he finished the P.S., steam shot out of his ears as he crushed the note in his hands.
"Damn you Yagami!! For this travesty, the Gods themselves would strike you down! But surely that would be a mercy, for should you fall under the Blue Thunder's gaze, naught but suffering at justice's great blade awaits you!" He finished his speech with one hand clenched before his eyes, and a dramatic tear slid down Kuno's face as he looked up at the sky... er, ceiling fan.
"*Groan* Hey, couldja keep it down, please?" A soft voice attracted his attention from across the room, and he strolled over to the source of the voice, his curiousity piqued.
"I beseech thee, who do I address? So that they might know that they are in the grand and illuminating presence of the Blue Thunder, and be speeded to good health, speak your name."
From under her blanket, Min groaned once more, and then slowly pushed herself up off the small bed, turning groggy eyes toward the voice that had awoken her. "Hey, are you okay? Why are you talking like that? And who's the 'Blue Thunder' anyway?"
Kuno stopped and stared, taken by what he saw as Min's blanket slid down her form down to her midrift. As she twisted her upper torso to look at Kuno, the medical gown was folded in just the right way as to press against the smooth contours of her body and outline her feminine curves perfectly. Her breasts, clearly visible with the top tie undone, hung enticingly from her body and jiggled with every movement. Her face, though not at all enhanced from an hour pressed into a cheap pillow, was flawless to Kuno's eyes, especially taken as he was with her perfect body.
Wiping a bit of drool from the side of his mouth, he quickly took to the side of her bed. "Fair maiden! Tell me, what has happened that one of such delicate beauty as you should be taken to a place such as this? What foul play has sought your person?"
Min blinked and sweatdropped, realizing that the guy in front of him had taken her hands in his own. Gently tugging them out of his grasp, she answered uncertainly. "Well, I just got in a fight, that's all. Ranma was-"
As soon as she said "Ranma", the temperature in the room seemed to drop several degrees, and a look of such rage came over Kuno that Min jerked back in surprise.
"YAGAMI!!!" Kuno yelled to the heavens, tears streaming down his face. "Of all your crimes, of all your evils, this ascends even the Blue Thunder's great mercy!!"
Min sweatdropped. "But he, I mean, I was-"
"To strike any of the fairer sex, so much less this fragile flower, warrants nothing less than your utter defeat and complete humiliation!!"
Min frowned. "Hey, I'm not fragile! And it was a duel! I challenged him!"
There was a slight whirring grind as Kuno's speech center (which comprised 94% of his total brain mass) shifted emotional gears without the benefit of a clutch.
"Ah! So I grace the presence of another warrior of the light, and one whose graceful beauty shines most brightly! You too seek to vanquish the dark sorcerer Yagami, no doubt! And you too fell victim to his evil magics!"
Min grimaced as she felt her head start throbbing. And again, she was fairly certain it had nothing to do with drugs. "Sorcerer? Evil? Vanquish Ranma? Are we even on the same page here?"
Ignoring her question, Kuno launched himself forward and enveloped her in a hug, causing the ninja girl to shout out in surprise. "Fear not! For we are as one mind! The great Blue Thunder, Tatewaki Kuno, age 17, and undefeated champion of the kendo world shall be your guide and ally on your noble quest! As your heart beats, so shall mine in glorious tandem!!"
Min was now completely convinced that this fellow was sent to the nurse for severe cranial trauma. And considering the way he was grabbing her, Min would have been more than willing to aggravate his condition. Except that he was wrapped around her so tightly that she couldn't move her arms, and her position didn't allow her to kick the kendoist easily.
"Hey! Get the hell off of me you jerk!! Help! This guy is crazy! Let go of me!!"
Kuno sniffed dramatically as he held his newfound love against him, completely oblivious to her struggles. "Fear not fair warrior, for so long as you are within my embrace, I will let no harm come to-" suddenly he felt something tug on the shoulder of his shirt, and frowned deeply before turning around...
Just in time to glance at the knuckles of Tomas's fist.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Ranma hummed to himself as he walked along the fence lining the canal, twirling a liberated katana in his hand as he strolled home.
Nearby pedestrians gave the sight of a teenager tossing and spinning a gleaming steel blade the occasional nervous look, but did little else. People of the Nerima district learned that most strange and dangerous things wandering the streets tended to simply pass by if they ignored it, or simply walked in the other direction. Occasionally it would leave a trail of utter devastation in its wake, but that was of little concern to the hardy Nerimans.

Ranma tossed the sword up into the air and then clapped his hands together on the blade as it came down. After grinning momentarily at his precision, he flipped the sword up from between his palms and then caught the handle easily in one hand.
"My, that's very good Ranma."
Ranma blinked, and then looked down from his vantage point to see Kasumi smiling up at him.
"Oh, hey Kasumi. What's up?" he squatted down on the fence, resting the blade on his shoulder.
"I'm just going out for some groceries. That's a very nice sword Ranma. Is it yours?"
Ranma snorted. "It is now. I figure that it's about time Kuno started paying for all the beatings he asks for."
Kasumi cocked her head to one side. "Oh. Well, at least Akane's having less trouble with him now." She started walking down the sidewalk again, and Ranma followed atop the fence.
"Yeah, well I'd hope so. The jerk's challenging me at least twice every day. If he had time to get beaten by Akane too, I might actually be impressed." Suddenly, Ranma frowned, and scratched his head with his free hand. "Come to think of it, it's kind of strange that I didn't see Kuno after school. He usually doesn't attack me before gym, but given his normal recovery rate, I would've thought that he'd be up and about by the time school let out."
Kasumi didn't really have anything to say to that, so she merely nodded as they continued walking.
Ranma looked toward the katana on his shoulder. "Hey, how much do you think this thing is worth, anyway?"
The elder Tendo sister blinked, then put a finger to her lip. "I really couldn't guess. Father was always the one who was interested in those sorts of things. Though Nabiki would probably be able to price it for you."
Ranma's face darkened slightly. "Oh. Never mind then. I'll probably just give it to my mom then. She's into kendo."
Kasumi beamed. "That's so sweet of you Ranma!" Her smile lessened somewhat as something occurred to her, and she stepped over to move closer to the fence. "Ranma... I... I know it isn't really any of my business, but... did something happen between you and Nabiki?"
Ranma flinched slightly at the question, and bit back his instinctual reply that would confirm that it was indeed none of her business. This was Kasumi, after all. "Well... yeah, you can say that."
Kasumi lowered her head. "I see. I'm disappointed to hear that. Nabiki is always so distant. Emotionally, I mean. I was really hoping she'd find someone to trust and open up to."
Unfortunately, Ranma was unable to bite his tongue in time. "If she's looking for trust in a relationship, maybe she'd prefer someone who's deaf and blind." He scowled, then added, "Better throw stupid in there too, for good measure."
It wasn't until he saw looked down at Kasumi's face again and saw the pained surprise there that he seriously considered using his confiscated katana to lop off his tongue.
"Oh my! I... I had no idea!" Kasumi raised a hand to her mouth, then looked around a bit before turning back to Ranma. "I really hate to pry, but... what happened?"
Ranma winced. "No way I-" Forcibly restraining himself from that line of speech, he covered his face with his free hand before sighing heavily and removing it, facing Kasumi once again. "Look, nothing personal, but I can't tell ya that. That's what started the whole mess in the first place. The less people know about this, the better. Needless to say, me and Nabiki aren't going out anymore, and we sure 'aint getting married."
Kasumi nodded in understanding, much to Ranma's relief. "All right Ranma, I won't try to find out what happened. But..." she bit her lower lip slightly, and turned away from Ranma, staring down at the sidewalk. "But whatever you do, please don't judge Nabiki too harshly."
Ranma raised an eyebrow at this, but Kasumi didn't look up at him.
"Nabiki's always been so... cold and distant. She taught herself so early in life to manipulate people. It was a survival skill, as father hasn't made much money at all ever since mother died. Really, on some level, I think she forgot how to deal with anybody without trying to leverage herself above them or make a profit. Even her own family..." She sighed deeply, and finally turned back toward Ranma. "I've tried so hard to talk to her about it, but I'm hardly her ideal role model. To be honest, I was hoping you could teach her to open up to people and be more sensitive."
Ranma stared at her a long while, his face expressionless. Then he turned his head away. "The blind can't lead the blind. But however bad she's had it, I just can't forgive what she did. Maybe you'd understand if you knew what it was, and maybe you wouldn't, but that's the way it goes."
Kasumi let out another sigh, and ran a hand through her hair. "It's okay. All I can do is say I'm sorry for what she's put you through." Not getting a response from that, Kasumi decided to change the subject. "By the way, I saw your sister a little earlier."
Ranma blinked, and turned back toward the eldest Tendo daughter. "No kidding? She out of school already?"
Kasumi's smile returned as she nodded. "Yes. And she was carrying the cutest little piglet too!"
"Huh. A pig? Really? Where'd she find-" a thought suddenly occurred to him, and his eyes widened. 'Waitaminute. Could that be......? Nah. Get real. Ryoga can't be the only pig in the area. It's gotta be a coincidence.'
"Yes! And it had this adorable golden bandanna for a collar with little black spots!"
"!#%&!!" Ranma left a badly startled Kasumi by the side of the road as he took off like a rocket toward his house, bounding over fences and rooftops alike.
"DAMN YOU RYOGA!!!" The irony of hearing such a reversal of the usual battle cries shouted around Nerima was sufficient to have many onlookers chuckling as they hastily redirected themselves away from what was sure to be an ugly conflict.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Mom, I'm home!" Yurumi hugged the piglet against her shoulder as she closed the door behind her, and then moved to cradle it in her arms as she wandered into the living room.
"Hello dear. How was-" Nodoka blinked and halted mid-sentence as she saw what Yurumi had in her arms. "Oh my! How cute!" Smiling, she walked up and patted the little creature on the head, to which it squealed softly. "Where did you find him?"
Yurumi giggled. "At school! Isn't he adorable? And, well, I was thinking, since Ranma has a cat now, that maybe I could... you know, keep him?" She blushed slightly and looked as she said it, scratching the piglet's belly.
Ryoga twitched. It was nice being cuddled and fed, but he certainly didn't plan on staying here. And why was the feeling of complete and utter doom still getting stronger?
Nodoka raised an eyebrow and fingered her chin. "Well... I'll think about it. With that bandanna on, he might already belong to someone else. But in any case, he's rather dirty. Why don't you take him in the backyard and wash him off?"
Ryoga snorted and gave annoyed glances at his captors. Being washed wasn't much fun. Then again, he could hardly complain; this whole situation was a whole lot better than being chased for food.
Yurumi beamed up at her mother. "Okay! I'll wash him real good!" She walked briskly toward the stairs and shrugged off her backpack, leaving the article beside the stairwell before climbing up towards her room.
As she reached the top, she saw Iori closing the door to the bathroom and smiled at him. "Hi Daddy!"
Iori turned towards her. "Hey. How was school?"
She giggled. "It was great! I found a pig! Isn't it cute?"
Iori looked down at the creature, as if noticing it for the first time. The pig looked up at him, and blinked.
"Nice. Make sure he stays out of our room, okay?" Iori walked down the hall and to the stairs, patting his daughter on the head as he went.
Yurumi hummed to herself and entered the room that her father had just exited.

Ryoga was confused. He was POSITIVE that he had seen that redheaded guy before, and that only led to greater suspicion that he had seen this girl before, too. Could the man be the reason that his danger sense was in overdrive?
He managed to squirm up Yurumi's shoulder and take one final look before she left the hallway, hoping that another glance might pinpoint the man's identity.
He had a crescent moon on the back of his jacket.
Ryoga blinked. Kind of like the kind that Ranma wore. Almost exactly like it, actually.
Ranma. Ranma's father, Iori Yagami, whom he had met a few times when the whole rivalry started, and who definitely left a lasting impression. And this was Ranma's sister, whom he had met that morning and had pretty much forgotten about since then. Which was a testament to his single-mindedness, as she had single-handedly taken out Ranma purely by accidental reflex just that morning.
Ryoga's eyes grew larger and larger and his body started quivering as the reality of his situation started falling together around him. He had to get out NOW!!!
Then, as his consciousness returned to the present, he realized that he was in some sort of laundry room, and that he was on the floor.
"Hmmmm... well, as long as I'm taking a bath anyway, you can take one with me!" Yurumi smiled down at her new pet as she removed her shirt.
And thus her vision was obscured as an expression of indescribable terror etched its way onto the little pig's features, of the sort usually not associated with dumb animals of any species.
Deciding that the time for speculation had long since ended, Ryoga made a mad dash for the exit, and succeeded only in bruising his head as he smashed into the door. Not to be deterred, he frantically scratched and beat at the door, hoping that maybe the girl would just get the message and spare him.
Yurumi finished undressing, and then noticed her new pet trying to beat down the door to the bathroom as if his life depended on it. Smiling, she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her waist, then moved to push the door open.
"Wow, I guess you're really eager for a bath, aren't you?"
Ryoga dashed through the doorway before the meaning behind her words had a chance to register, and then froze in horror as he beheld a well-prepared furo, trails of steam rising from its soothing waters.
He didn't unfreeze until Yurumi lifted him up again, obviously intending to just walk into the bath with him.
Yurumi blinked and wobbled slightly as the bundle in her arms began to thrash about wildly, obviously trying to escape her grasp.
"Hey! Whoa! What's wrong? Stop squirming, I can't-" she stopped as her foot hit a wet tile, and she lost the rest of her balance as the animal she was holding managed to deflect mightily off her chest, breaking free of her arms... and jumping straight into the water.
*Thud* *Splash* Yurumi's back hit the tile floor as Ryoga's jump landed him, figuratively and literally, into hot water.
"Ow..." Yurumi groaned and sat up, her towel lying about her waist and legs. "What was all that for?" She wondered aloud, frowning at all the splashing that was coming from underneath the furo's waters.
*Sploosh!* Ryoga gasped mightily as he broke the surface of the water, and quickly shook his head to clear his vision.
Yurumi's eyes were the size of dinner plates as she watched the naked boy whom she had seen that morning appear out of her bathtub, breathing heavily and looking around in a panic.
Ryoga's mind went into high gear, and immediately broke down. He wasn't used to quick thinking, damn it! This was all Ranma's fault!
Outwardly, he decided it would be best to just go on autopilot and do what came naturally. "Excuse me, is this Japan?"
It didn't work.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
__________________________________________________________________________________

Nodoka was just setting up tea for Iori when Ranma burst through the door, looking as if he had sprinted all the way home from his school.
"Ranma, is something-"
Ranma didn't let her finish. "Yurumi! Where's Yurumi?! Quick!"
Noboka blinked, fairly concerned with the urgency in his voice. "She's here, but I'm not sure exactly where... Ranma, where did you get that sword?"
Iori turned toward his son with a raised eyebrow. "She's taking a bath, I think. Something wrong?"
Ranma grimaced. "Was she carrying a black pig with her? One with a golden bandanna on its neck with little black spots?"
Nodoka blinked once more. "Why, yes. How did you know?"
Ranma sighed heavily. "Phooey."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
Everyone turned toward the stairs as a scream emenated from upstairs.
*KAAAAABLAAAAAM!!!!* And everyone winced as a huge gout of flame burst from the stairwell, passing through the living room in a blazing stream and detonating on the door, blasting it outward into a mess of fiery splinters.
The purple flame quickly dissipated, with very little left burning upon the various objects between the stairs and the front door.
Iori, Nodoka, and Ranma all looked at each other.
The Yagami patriarch sighed. "I'll go get an extinguisher. Ranma?" He jabbed a thumb toward the stairs, and Ranma leapt into action, rushing upstairs with his mother close on his heels.

"Yurumi, are you-JEEZ!!!" Ranma grimaced as he saw the devastation that had been done.
The "door" to the bathroom was now little more than a blackened hole in the wall. The bathroom itself was practically gone, along with the entire upper corner of the house that it was situated in. The two surviving walls were blackened and crumbling, and the tile floor was a network of charred cracks and gouges, with burst and melting water pipes sticking out here and there. Rubble was strewn across the yard, and without any walls in the way, Ranma and Nodoka could see an old tree in a neighbor's yard awash in purple flames.
In the middle of it all, Yurumi knelt on the floor sobbing, a dry, white towel wrapped tightly around her.
"Yurumi! Are you okay?" Ranma rushed up to the small, relatively undamaged circle of tile floor holding up the girl, and she immediately got up and ran into his arms.
"Yurumi, what happened here?" Nodoka asked, cautiously picking her way across the damaged floor.
"*Sob* I... it's just *Sniff* I was just trying to wash *Sniffle* the pig, but he jumped out into the water *Sniffle* and then that guy came out! *Sob*"
Nodoka looked confused. "'That guy'? Who is this?"
"Ryoga," Ranma growled out, rubbing Yurumi's head soothingly.
"*Sniff* Yeah, it was that guy! He *Sniffle* attacked me this morning, and then he just *Sob* appeared here!"
Ranma sighed. "Mom, can you take care of Yurumi for a while?"
The little girl sniffed again, and tried to dry her eyes as she looked up at her brother. "Where are you going?"
He gently pushed her away from him and into Nodoka's own embrace, and then retrieved his confiscated katana that he had left by the newly expanded entrance to the bathroom.
"I'm going to deep-fry some pork."
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Oooooh... it hurts so much... augh...... I... I think I'm melting......"
Despite whatever claim he could make to be melting, Ryoga showed admirable constitution and endurance for one who was just blown 400 meters into the air from a blast stronger than military-grade napalm bombs.
As it was, he was currently making his way into an alley, dragging himself along the ground with his hands. He was still quite naked, and was currently preserving his modesty (as if that were of any great concern at this point) with a large piece of sheet metal.
"Must... find... water... it burns..." Ryoga groaned as he made it into the alleyway, and began looking about in a daze for anything that could help his current situation.
"What'cha lookin' for, P-chan?"
Ryoga blinked sluggishly, then slowly turned his head.
Ranma stared back at him coolly, the katana resting on his shoulder.
Then the pigtailed boy sighed and turned away. "You know, I was willing to look the other way when you were peeping on Akane. You know why? Well, besides the fact that it was funny and I didn't care. I really thought we used to be friends, you know? And even if we weren't, this whole 'track Ranma down to the ends of the Earth and challenge him until you win' thing was kind of fun. Of course, then you crossed the line."
Ranma turned toward the charred husk that was the lost boy, and his eyes narrowed. "You hurt my family, pig boy. You nearly killed my sister this morning, and when I get home today, I find you peeping on her. PEEPING!!! ON A 9-YEAR OLD!!! MY SISTER!!!"
Ryoga goggled for a moment, then started waving his arms in denial from his sitting position. "No! Wait! It wasn't like that at all! I didn't mean to change back in front of her! ... Er... wait, let me rephrase that!"
Ranma's eyes smoldered, and Ryoga suddenly found himself unable to speak any further as the purple aura around Ranma built.
"You've been nothing but a pain since you got here, but this is unforgivable," he snarled. "It's payback time."
"No! Hear me out! Seriously! It was all an accident! Whoa, hold on! Stop! What's with the sword?! No, wait, don't-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
__________________________________________________________________________________

Shampoo mewed irritably as she shook the water out of her fur before shooting a nasty look at the fellow who was gaping at the clothes lying on the ground.
Abandoning the playful jerk and his garden hose, Shampoo took to the fence tops, speeding along the narrow perches with agility that was hardly attributed to her cat form.
She stopped, however, when she heard the sound of someone being beaten rather savagely in a nearby alleyway.
"OW!!! Please, stop!! AUGH!!! No! No more!! Argh!! Not the sword again! Not there!! Have mercy!! Uncle!! Uncle!! GYAAAH!!!"
Sweatdropping, Shampoo noticed that the streets were hardly empty, and that those people that visibly noticed the violence just as visibly turned away and ignored it. These Japanese were hardy folk, if not a bit negligent.
Sitting down, Shampoo waited until the pleading voice died down to incoherent shouts and whimpers, and then, to her surprise, she saw Ranma exit the alley, breathing heavily (though it seemed more from emotional exertion than physical). To her further surprise, she also saw that he was carrying a katana. One that had blood slipping off of it.
"Meow! Meow!" She waved her paw in the air, and Ranma blinked as he noticed her. "Huh? Maya! what are you doing out here?"
Shampoo padded up to her friend, then paused cautiously just as she reached him to peer into the alley.
If she hadn't already been nearly white, she would've paled. She just barely remembered the red-stained bandanna lying next to the massacred body in the alley, and once she remembered fully who it belonged too, she decided it didn't matter anyway.
As an Amazon warrior, she had been trained to deal with gore, violence, and death psychologically, but she was still put off by the sheer brutality of what she saw. She glanced hesitantly at Ranma, wondering if he was going to suddenly break out into his berserk state.
Ranma noticed the cat's gaze, and somehow felt obligated to explain. "He 'aint dead or nothing. He might even make a full recovery. Who knows?" Ranma snorted, then addressed the bloody mess formerly known as Ryoga. "Hibiki, if I EVER see you bothering my sister again, I'm gonna give you burns deeper than those cuts. Do I make myself clear?"
"......... Hurts...... so... much...... bleeding....... help......"
Ranma snorted and turned away, shaking the katana to the side to get some of the blood off. "C'mon Maya."
Shampoo stared at Ranma as he left, and then looked at Ryoga, who was twitching.
Then she rolled her eyes, and padded happily after her friend. It was about time he had given that moron what for.

**********************************************************************************

End Chapter 7