Standard disclaimer applies. Don't sue me, for though I have no money, I do control my army of original characters, who will hunt you down and tear your lawyers limb from limb! Same goes for you Akane-lovers and your flames!

As for continuity, obviously this takes the Ranma 1/2 story from the beginning, but as far as UY goes, it's a little bit after Mendo shows up.

Chapter 4
Furinkan Fury!
**********************************************************************************

Ranma awoke from his slumber groggily, vaguely aware of a bright flash of light coming from the window of the guest bedroom. Yawning deeply, he looked around the room.
Rayden was on the futon right next to him, sleeping like a baby per the norm. Kaze and Genma were MIA though.
Getting up, he walked over to the window and looked down to see the aforementioned individuals talking.

As usual, Kaze was in his 'just how stupid are you nevermind I can read your thoughts' lecture mode, while Genma was ignoring him, totally focused on muttering about the injustice of having to live with a little panda floating above his head.

Ranma sighed, then closed the window. After deciding that a night in the animal depository would be good for Genma, Kaze had talked to him about going to school for the rest of the time he was here. All in all how it was a good idea. Ranma had never had a particular love for education (as could be said for many, many others), and technically there was nobody around that could make him go to school, but it was always hard to argue with Kaze.
Still, that didn't mean he had to wear a uniform. Ranma smiled and picked out his white sleeveless shirt and put it on. After school, he thought he'd run over to his mother's place for a talk, maybe get to know her better, and let her know more about himself.
Ranma grimaced. 'But first school.'
Looking at the clock, Ranma saw that it was too early for breakfast, as well as too early to wake Rayden up for practice. Shrugging to himself, he leapt out the window and into the backyard.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Kaze turned around as he felt another presence land softly behind him. "Up rather early today, master Saotome?"
Ranma nodded. "I figured I'd go out for an early morning jog or somethin'."
"Nonsense boy!" Ranma had to bite his tongue not to laugh looking at the tiny panda loll around on his father's head.
"You've been slacking off in your training recently! I have a new training technique that will-"
Ranma grabbed his father by the collar, then slammed him on the ground over his shoulder.
"There's nothing more you have to teach me Pops!" Ranma flipped his pigtail over his shoulder and walked out of the backyard, hopping over the fence.
Genma growled as he got up. "You show your father some respect, boy!"
Kaze, who had remained silent during the exchange, calmly stuck a slip of paper to Genma's leg. Ice shot up around the ward, freezing the entire bottom half of the man's body.
Kaze coughed into his hand. "I wasn't quite done, Saotome. Now you see, it's important that you either admit this curse to the Tendos or come see me after the spells wears off. You can't imagine the mechanics required in purging a soul with such strong magical bonds......"
Genma would've cried had he not been of the very strong opinion that it was unmanly. With Ranma or Rayden he would've just been beaten unconscious. Kaze would paralzyed him, then drone on and on about right and wrong (or some such garbage. He never actually paid attention).
Oh, the humanity!
__________________________________________________________________________________

Nerima was a funny place.
Well, funny if you were a martial artist, or an extraterrestrial enthusiast, or if you just had a sick sense of humor.
As it was, you'd never recognize the peaceful suburban mornings of this district of Tokyo as actually being part of Nerima.
Which was why Akane always loved taking her morning jogs. Sure, there were other reasons; she had to keep her figure, and the exercise was good for her, but it was the unusual peace and tranquility that really appealed to her. This was the only time of day that she got a break from her usual martial arts practice, that is to say, the massacre of her suitors and the various perverts.
Thus, she was so surprised when she suddenly saw a black and white blur appear and start jumping all over the place, that she tripped over her own feet and fell down onto the concrete walk.
Picking herself up, she watched as the blur zoomed across on the fence next to the canal, then jumped off clear to the other side of the street, rebounding off of a house and jumping on roofs. She'd never been witness to a flea that had ingested caffeinated blood, but she imagined that it would act something like this.
Eventually the blur seemed to take notice of her, and jumped off a nearby car with such care as to not disturb the dew. With that Ranma alighted on a street light, and looked down at his spectator.
"Hey Akane. What're you doin' out here this early?"
Akane blinked, then adopted a rather angry expression. "I'm jogging! What the hell do you think YOU'RE doing?!"
Ranma shrugged. "More or less the same, I guess."
Akane glared at him. "That is NOT jogging. That is bouncing around like a four-year old who drank a quadruple mocha."
Ranma shrugged. "Whatever. It's the only way I can work up a sweat by just moving. Good speed practice too."
Akane couldn't think of anything particularly nasty to say to that, so she just jogged away. To her irritation, Ranma followed her, walking backward on the fence while looking around, and still managed to keep pace.
She turned on him angrily. "Don't you have anything better to do?!"
Ranma shook his head. "Nope. I usually don't get up this early, so I'm just taking a scenic run right now."
Akane gave off a low growl. "Do you have to follow me?"
He shrugged again. "Sorta. You know your way around. I could get lost or somethin'."
Akane stopped and kicked the fence. "That's a great idea! Get lost!"
Ranma's balance never wavered as the fence shook violently. "Geez! What's your problem?!"
"What's my problem?! I'm out here trying to enjoy a nice, peaceful walk by myself, and then you come along, showing off and bothering me! And probably to stare at me in my jogging outfit! I haven't forgotten what happened in the bathroom!"
"You walked in on me and Ray. We saw you naked. You mauled us. I haven't forgotten either," he said dryly.
Akane's brain was rushing for a good retort to defend herself, when Ranma spoke up again.
"Hey, it's Ataru." Ranma looked over to where his cousin was apparently also jogging, and holding a conversation with a group of girls from a track team. Well, he wasn't holding a conversation so much as he was trying to talk to them while they set a pace to try and tire him out enough to leave him behind.
Akane's mind whirled away from the up and coming retort, and refocused on the new topic of discussion. She growled as she realized that her jogging path would take her right into Ataru's path. Akane hated boys, and Ataru was the shining symbol of everything she hated about them.
"They're lecherous, persistent, stupid, greedy, perverted, lazy, weak........." Akane began ticking off each of the male gender's bad points as she closed the distance between the two groups.
Ranma chose to ignore her as the other group came closer. Unfortunately for the girls of the track team, it seemed Ataru was a match for any one of them on the streets, practice and experience with running (both after or away from girls) allowed him to keep pace, as well as regulate his breathing enough to continue asking for dates.

Yuka, who was third in the line of runners (she had joined the team to keep her busy in her spare time plus keep her figure), quickly spotted her friend heading toward them on an intercept course and grinned.
"Hi Akane!"
Ataru screeched to a halt. It came as a huge surprise to everyone that knew him that Ataru did not pursue Akane to any degree, and in fact avoided her (as much as one could possibly expect him to avoid an attractive girl, anyway). This was stemmed mostly from the fact that Ataru had grown up in the same area as her, and as such had seen the way she treated men. Ataru always had an aversion to violence, but it took an especially violent woman to keep him away.
Akane oozed violence like Bug-B-Gone, and considering that to her, Ataru was little more than a particularly annoying insect, his reaction was understandable. She had grown up hating him, even though he was the one boy that actively avoided her, and had taken every opportunity to remind him and others of what he was, and exactly where that put him on Akane's 'Scale of Things That Need to be Malleted' (tm).
For Ataru's part, he didn't see what all the fuss was about. He had simply decided early on that trying to date Akane was far more trouble than it was worth. Personally, he didn't know why all those other guys bothered with her. Sure, she was cute and strong, but there were cuter girls, and the latter wasn't necessarily a good thing. She couldn't cook, she was violent, she had incredible strength when enraged, and she tended to get enraged quite easily. He actually considered her to be all of Lum and Shinobu's bad points put together and given flesh.
In any case, he stood there, head drooping pathetically, as he watched the group of thin, tightly clad girls enter Akane's Zone of Terror (tm) unharmed and safe from his advancements.
Akane glared at him, and he back off slightly, deciding to take a route around and disappear from sight. He could always track them down later.
Deciding that the pervert was going to be smart and make himself scarce, Akane started chatting amiably with Yuka, who had stopped with the rest of the team to catch their breath after their accelerated run.
Then a voice made itself known. "Hey Ataru! You out for some exercise too?" Ranma grinned and sat down on the fence, gesturing for him to come closer.
Ataru smiled, and then with an excuse to approach that wouldn't be considered perverted, jogged up to the group.
Akane scowled, then glared at Ranma. Figures the perverts would stick together. She made sure Ataru saw her close a fist and shake it slightly, warning very clearly that any groping or such things would win him an instant trip to a new world of pain.
Yuka blinked, then matched the voice to a person and looked up. "Ranma! What are you doing here?"
Ranma looked down and smiled. "Hey! Nice to see you again! You in track?"
She blushed slightly as Akane and the other members of her team looked at her questioningly. "Yeah I am. You?"
Ranma leaned back slightly, and many of the girls thought he was going to fall over backward (and one was hoping he did), but he somehow kept his balance as if he didn't even notice. "I'm just out for a little running. Gotta keep in shape, you know?" He grinned and made a brief muscle gesture. Some of the girls started drooling. "Say, you go to Furinkan, right?"
Yuka shook her head to try and forget the way Ranma's sleek arm muscles moved when he flexed, especially in a sleeveless shirt. "Yeah, I go there."
Ranma smiled again. "Cool! I'm going there starting today. I'll see you around, all right? Ataru, come on!"
Ataru's head drooped again as he realized he would have to leave the track team anyway, then sighed, resigned to his fate.
Akane watched them run down the street and turn a corner. 'Hmph! Good riddance to bad rubbish!'
She was about to start jogging home alongside Yuka, when all the other girls in the group suddenly rounded on her.
"Who WAS that guy?!"
"He's a total hunk!"
"Are you two dating?"
"Yuka, you're so lucky!"
"Would you mind sharing?"
Yuka mostly ignored the questions (except for the last one; she glared at the girl who had said that) and blushed in embarrassment. Akane rolled her eyes and started jogging away.
'Weirdos. What do they see in him anyway?' Akane didn't know why Yuka would be interested in a stupid, perverted jock like Ranma, but she vowed that it was her duty to defend her friend from the hentai's advances. If Ranma ever laid a finger on Yuka, she'd make him wish he was never born!
Smiling darkly at the thought, Akane rounded the corner.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"So anyway, I was thinking you could fill me in on what Furinkan's like. I've never really attended school for very long, so I really don't know what to expect."
Ataru shrugged, totally unconcerned that his cousin was walking casually along the top of the fence.
"It wouldn't matter if you did. Furinkan's not like other schools. For one thing, the fighter population is rather high. I think you'll fit right in there. Lessee...... the Principal's a jerk, though he's just filling in really, since the real principal is on an extended vacation somewhere, I forget... Sakura, the nurse, is a real babe... uh, there's Lum, who isn't registered as a student, but tends to hang around there just to bother me... oh yeah! And then there are the two rich dorks, Tatewaki Kuno and Shutaro Mendo!"
Ranma blinked. "Rich dorks?"
Ataru nodded gravely. "Uh huh. Rich, snobby, narcisstic weirdos. Kuno is the captain of the Kendo team and is always swinging around his wooden bokken to intimidate people. He's also obsessed with Akane and Lum, and made this weird decree involving Tendo. With Lum, he just calls me a sorcerer that has cast a spell on her to seduce her, then attacks me until Lum zaps him into the ground. Mendo uses a steel blade, but he's no good with it. He's also less delusional and violent than Kuno. He's also obsessed with Lum, but he likes to keep his distance from Tendo like me. Both of them are total jerks."
Ataru had communicated all this information so quickly and casually, it took Ranma's brain a good amount of time to digest and organize the data.
"Uh...... Kuno thinks you're a sorcerer?"
Ataru nodded gravely. "Yeah. That delusional creep never has anything better to do than pick on me. Worse yet, the only way to get rid of him is to find Lum so she can shock him unconscious! *Sigh* Saotome, you have no idea what kind of tortures I've endured growing up with these freaks!" He looked up at Ranma compassionately, searching for some hearfelt sympathy.
Ranma, for his part, found what he was hearing far too surreal to be able to sympathize properly.
"Uh... yeah, that sucks man. You mentioned something about this Kuno guy making a decree toward Akane?"
Ataru's demeanor immediately cleared up and he shrugged. "Something about how whoever wanted to date Akane has to beat her in combat first. For some reason, a bunch of the guys in the various althletic teams accepted this thing as fair play, so every morning now they all attack her as soon as she steps through the gates to school. She beats them all every time, including Kuno."
Ranma sweatdropped. "Sounds....... weird."
Ataru shrugged again. "Welcome to Nerima."
__________________________________________________________________________________

Nabiki yawned and stretched as she got up from her bed, swatting the alarm clock awkwardly as she struggled to find the 'off' button with one hand.
She saw Akane getting up to her room after her morning jog to change, muttering about revenge and perverts. Nothing particularly unusual.
She got down and nodded to acknowledge Kasumi, who smiled and greeted her as she set the table for breakfast.
Soon Kaze and Genma came in from the front yard, and soon after that Ranma arrived and said a general hello before seating and serving himself.
Soun came in with his paper, then frowned confusedly as he noticed someone was missing. "Um, where's the other boy? Shikodan?"
"Sleeping." The three replies came simultaneously and without hesitation, though not a single one of them had been up to the room they shared.

Genma finished his plate in record time, then made a grab for Ranma's food. His chopsticks were stopped short, however, as Ranma simply grabbed them in his fist, then snapped them with a quick motion. Genma stared, dumbfounded.
"Mom said I should improve my table manners, and Kaze suggested that I start by not fighting you every meal. So lay off, all right?" Ranma snapped, irritably.
Genma took a moment to register the sentence. "Your mother?! What?!"
Ranma blinked, then remembered that Genma didn't know about that yet. "Oh yeah, I met her yesterday while we were out lookin' over the place."
Nabiki's interest heightened. "Your mom lives around here, huh? What's her name?"
Ranma turned towards her. "Nodoka Saotome."
Nabiki rolled the name over in her head. Sounded familiar. "Wait. Nodoka Saotome is Ataru's aunt. Which would make you......... Ataru's cousin?"
Everyone native to Nerima stopped and stared at Ranma. Even Kasumi, who held the belief that it was impolite to stare. Everyone there had heard of the legendary lecher Ataru. Nabiki had frequently cleaned out his pockets offering him 'protection' from having Lum find him. Protection in the sense that the Oni didn't find out from her. Not having the word go into circulation costed extra.
Ranma nodded, unsure as to why he was suddenly the center of attention. "Yeah, I met him at Mom's place. Nice guy. Weird, but friendly."
Nabiki blinked. She'd never heard Moroboshi described that way. Well, she'd heard of him being described as weird, but the rest of it was new.
Akane suddenly shot up. "Ah ha! You're related to that pervert! I knew it! It must run in the family!"
Ranma sighed and went back to eating, ignoring her. Everybody else just took a moment to stare at her.
Flushing, she sat back down and took a sip of juice.

Ranma turned back to Genma, who had no interest in Ranma's relatives, and was still musing over how to approach his wife now that she had already met with her son again. "By the way, Mom wants you to drop by today. Here's her address." Ranma handed him a slip of paper.
Genma looked at it.
Soun smiled, then patted him on the back. "Well Saotome, how about that? Getting to see your wife again after all these years! Why don't Kasumi and I come too? It'll be wonderful to see Nodoka again!"
Genma raised an eyebrow at that. With Tendo there, he could announce the engagement in front of Nodoka, and then Soun would argue the case for him! "That's a fine idea Tendo! We'll leave right away!"
Then his mind hit a snag. The engagement. What became of that?
Ranma hadn't chosen a fiancee yet!
Genma was about to make this fact known to the rest of the assembled people, when he was interrupted by two of them leaving.
"I have to go! See you after school!"
"Goodbye Nabiki!"
Akane frowned, then grabbed her bag and got up. "Nabiki, wait! I'll go with you!"
Nabiki poked her head back into the room. "What about Ranma? He doesn't know the way."
Ranma got up himself, then grabbed a bag sitting against the wall and walked out the door past Nabiki. "Don't worry about it. I'll get there. See ya!" Ranma jumped as soon as he got outside, taking to the rooftops and going in a direction that did not lead to Furinkan.
Nabiki shrugged and left in the proper direction, Akane close behind her.
Kasumi gathered up the dishes and left.

Genma looked around, finding himself alone with Kaze and Soun, the latter of which had collapsed into tears after reminiscing about his friendship with Genma while they were both happily married.
Kaze sipped the last of his tea, then stood up. "Saotome, Master Tendo, I will accompany you." He said simply.
Genma glanced uneasily at the priest. He definitely did NOT want a psychic around when he met Nodoka. She might ask him something important, and Kaze had a nasty habit of 'correcting' his stories whenever he made a slight variation or left out an important detail.
"I'm sorry Toren, but this is a family affair." Genma said. He sounded just as sorry as he was.
"Master Tendo is coming, as well as Mistress Kasumi." Kaze pointed out flatly.
Genma struggled to compensate. "Er... yes... well... with the upcoming engagement, our two houses will be joined and he will become family!"
Kaze nodded. "Of course. Then you can surely allow the presence of one adopted into your clan. Thank you for granting my meager request." He bowed deeply.
Genma was mentally thrown off-balance. He hated that man. He really did.
Soun clapped him on the shoulder. "Oh, come now Saotome, of course he can come! We're all family here!"
Kaze nodded appreciatively.
Genma groaned. It was going to be a long day.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Ranma walked along the fence, adjusting his pace so that Ataru could keep up with him easily.
"So then Lum thinks we're married all of a sudden! It's stupid! Now, every time I even flirt with another girl, she blasts me with a lightning bolt!"
Ranma nodded. He could more or less sympathize, as he had just come back from that whole mess with the Amazons. The other part about flirting though.........
"So why don't you just stop flirting? I mean, you already have Lum, and she likes you, right?" Ranma really didn't get the whole deal. Admittedly, he was mostly ignorant about interpersonal relationships and dating, but it still sounded feasible to him.
Ataru snorted. "Please. I am not a one-woman man." He grinned and flexed his arms. "This body was made for love! To grace the mattresses of many babes! To settle down in my prime would be to deprive the world!" he spoke passionately, as if somehow he managed to believe it.
Ranma sweatdropped. "Right......... okay.........."
Ataru dropped the whole act and turned toward Ranma. "So anyway, don't get in my way, alright? Certain girls are off-limits. Sakura, Shinobu, Ran........." Ataru started counting off names. Ranma started to ignore him, then noticed that they were coming up on Furinkan.

Akane stood in the middle of the field out in the front, breathing heavily. Boys' bodies lied around her, groaning painfully.
Ranma jumped off the fence as a rose was thrown from a nearby tree at Akane. She caught it, then glared at the person who threw it.
Ataru caught up with Ranma.
"What fools these mortals be, that they would presume to beat the fierce Akane Tendo in combat to date with thee......" The boy who had said it was about as tall as Kaze, and wore a blue kendo outfit. On his shoulder rested a wooden bokken.
Akane growled. "Let's just get this over with, all right? I have to get to class!"
Ranma jabbed a thumb at the kendoist. "Hey Ataru, is this that Kuno guy you were talking about?"
Kuno's gaze oriented on where the name 'Ataru' came from, and found himself staring at a boy he had never seen before. Behind him, nodding, was the cowardly sorcerer, and his own sworn enemy.
"So, I see the foul Moroboshi has decided to come out of the shadows and face heaven's punishment!" Kuno turned and bowed apologetically to Akane. "I'm afraid our match will have to be delayed, fair maiden. The vanquishing of the demon lecher Moroboshi takes precedence."
Akane snorted and walked away. "Fine. Go kill each other."
"Hey, why don't you pick on somebody your own size, creep?" Ranma suddenly stood firmly in-between Ataru and Kuno, challenging the older boy.
Kuno raised an eyebrow. "I have no quarrel with you, peasant, so I suggest you make yourself scarce. What is between me and the sorcerer is our business."
Ranma growled. "Then I'm making it my business! I don't like guys who beat up on those who can't defend themselves!"

Up in the windows of the classrooms, many students were shocked at seeing the new, handsome stranger challenging Kuno, and even more shocked that he would do so to defend Ataru.

Ataru, for his part, certainly wasn't used to being defended by anyone other than Lum, but figured that he might as well milk this for all it was worth.
"Yeah! Leave me alone! You can hound Lum all you want, I don't care!"
Kuno had lost interest in him, however, and was now completely focused on this new obstacle.
"You have courage, man, in facing me. However, know that it is for naught. For I am Tatewaki Kuno, age 17, captain of the-"
Ranma interrupted him, already getting bored. "Yeah yeah, I know who you are. Captain of the Kendo club, undefeated, blah blah blah. Look, why don't we save this for lunch, alright? Class starts in 3 minutes!"
Kuno's face reddened. "Very well! At lunch today you shall know your place, fool!" Furious at being dismissed so casually, he stomped inside.

Ataru slapped Ranma on the back. "Hey, thanks man. Kuno's gonna be ticked though. He's really good with that bokken, too."
Ranma snorted, then shoved his hands in his pockets. "Hmph. I'll deal with it. Let's get going."

Up above, the situation was chaotic.
"Did that guy seriously just challenge Kuno?"
"No! He's too cute to die!"
"It's too bad. I'd really like to see Kuno get his sometime."
Nabiki's voice broke the flow of whispers and speculations. "I might have some info on him that you might be interested in."
The assembled crowd looked at her, then started searching their pockets.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile, in another classroom, rumors and whispers of a different sort were being spread. It was because of this that everyone in that particular classroom missed the scene with Kuno in the front of the school.
Lum had earlier let it slip that her darling's cousin just recently showed up, and that he would be attending Furinkan.
The responses ranged from 'Oh ****, would someone put us out of our misery', to 'Well that sucks'. Naturally, the former response came from many of the girls, while the latter was from the boys.

"I can't believe it! Another ugly pervert! What have we done to deserve this?" Saiyuri wailed.
"Well, come on. He's only Ataru's cousin. Maybe they won't be very similar after all." Yuka had already decided to move away with most of the rest of the girls, but decided to put up an optomistic front.
Akane just muttered to herself quietly in the back of the classroom.
The guys, who didn't share quite the same level of hatred for Ataru, had started to ask Lum for more details.
Mendo grunted. "Please. No doubt anyone that shares the same bloodline as Moroboshi would turn out to be just as despicable a human being as he is. This is exactly why certain people should not reproduce, in my opinion."
Lum blinked, as she sat cross-legged while floating in the air. "Well I don't know about that. He's really not that bad at all."

"Your attention please!"
In an instant, Ataru had the class's attention. They had been so busy talking about him and making predictions about his relatives that they hadn't even noticed when he had entered the room.
Half the class's attention was lost just as quickly as they all noticed the guy standing next to him.
Most of the girls just started mentally yelling, 'Yowza! Who's the stud?!'
Yuka's thoughts were a bit muddled, but then she put two and two together, and her eyes widened.
Akane ignored them all.
Lum floated up behind Ataru.
Ataru coughed. "As class president, I'd like to introduce my cousin, Ranma Saotome, who will be attending this class from now on. Any questions?" Ataru looked around, wondering why everyone was staring.
A few more moments passed, then the entire class fell out of their chairs all at once, with the exception of Akane, and the three aforementioned individuals.
Ataru looked over the teacher's desk. "What's the matter?"
Yuka pointed to Ranma uneasily. "HE'S related to... you?"
Ataru blinked, then slowly nodded. "Yes. He's my cousin. Any other questions?"
A girl in the back raised her hand. "Is he single?"
Ataru shrugged. "Yeah, I think so."
Ranma coughed, trying to remind the people that he was still there. Ataru turned toward him.
"Anyway, why don't you tell us a little about yourself?"
Ranma scratched the back of his head unconsciously. "Well, I've been training in martial arts for most of my life, and up until a few days ago, I was in China on a training journey. That's about all there is to it, really."
"Wow! A martial artist!"
"That must be how he got that body!"
Yuka thought about making it clear that she had already staked him out, but decided that it'd probably cause more trouble than it would prevent at the moment.
"Hmph. A thug. He's obviously no better than Moroboshi with muscle." Mendo had been feeling miffed that this newcomer had attracted so much attention, and thought to make his opinion clear.
Ataru jabbed Ranma with his elbow and whispered, "Mendo."
The teacher cleared his throat, then walked up to the desk, gesturing Ataru aside. "Yes, well, Saotome, you may take that seat near the back, next to miss Tendo."
Akane growled slightly and gave him a warning glare. Ranma glared back as he took his seat.

From there class went by pretty normally, as Lum had decided to leave earlier.
The teacher wrote an algebra problem on the board, then decided to test the new student's knowledge.
"Saotome, can you tell me how to solve this?" He turned the individual in question.
"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............"
Then he facefaulted, as Ranma was snoring softly, one arm on his desk as a pillow, and the other arm hanging limply at his side. Most of the class started giggling.
The teacher got angry, and threw a piece of chalk at Ranma. His limp hand suddenly shot up and slapped it away.
The entire class blinked as one.
Daisuke poked him with a pencil. Nothing. "Nope. He's asleep all right."
The teacher threw an eraser. It went flying. A book. He caught it, then dropped it on the ground as his arm went limp again.
By this time the teacher was furious. Then he noticed the way the Tendo girl was looking at him, and grinned evilly. "Oh, miss Tendo? Would you be so kind as to help wake up Saotome?" The entire class, save Akane herself winced at the tone.
Akane blinked, then smiled. "Okay, sensei!" Grinning, she cocked back a fist aimed at his head.
*Thump*
Akane's fist hit Ranma's palm, all of the inhuman force of the blow ignored completely. Then he tossed her over his head to the other side of the room.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" *Crash!*
Several students got out of the way as Akane sailed toward their desks. Several more didn't.

Yuka frowned as she witnessed the tangle of bodies that resulted from Akane's unexpected flight. Then she calmly walked up to Ranma's prone form, and shook his shoulders lightly.
"Hey Ranma, wake up!"
Ranma's eyes shot open and he sat up, looking from side to side groggily. "Huh? Wha? Where're the golems? I'll smash 'em........." Ranma shook his head to clear it, then realized he was still in class.
Then he noticed the heated glare the teacher was giving him.
"Saotome. Buckets. Hall. NOW."
Ranma was confused as to what he did wrong, but left the class anyway, ignoring the snickers from the male half of the class, particularly Mendo.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Ranma hummed a little to himself as he held his arms straight out at his sides, buckets of water hanging still.
Ranma had never liked school. As far as he was concerned, learning could stop after geography, basic math, and language classes for japanese and a little bit of English. That's all that Kaze had taught him, anyway.
He had learned a little history too, but mostly about stuff from legends and about mystical places of Gods and demons. Nothing like the modern history classes, which taught about fuedal Japan and useless junk like that. Kaze made it interesting. And when he couldn't do that, he made sure that his students knew why they were listening to him anyway.

Ranma started juggling the buckets in the air, tossing and catching them without spilling a drop of water.
"Lessee. Ancient gate to demonic world is sealed 5000 years ago... opened again 6 years ago. What was that other place called? Oh yeah, Chryslon! Hmph. I wish the teacher's classes were half that interesting."
He continued juggling the buckets, calling up facts from legends that Kaze had told him in his head.
Then the bell rang. Students quickly started filing out of the room. One of them stopped to watch Ranma juggle the buckets, and the crowd fell against him, everbody toppling like dominos.
Ranma realized that the class was over, and caught both buckets, then walked to his next class, tossing them under a water fountain as he left.
__________________________________________________________________________________

The rest of the classes were uneventful, Ranma being able to stay awake by simply reading the books and ignoring the teachers.
Then lunch came. Ranma took out the bento Kasumi had packed and sat under a tree on the edge of the school yard. He started eating it, enjoying the solitude of the area.
Then he realized he was surrounded.
One girl walked up to him nervously with a pleading expression on her face. "Ranma, as much as this challenge means to you, you have to call it off!"
He blinked, bits of rice falling from the chopsticks he was in the process of putting into his mouth. "Huh?"
Another girl came up from his right. "Kuno will tear you apart!"
Another one from his left. "Run away! Far away! He'll leave you alone if you back down!"
Ranma looked back and forth warily, unsure of how to respond. Then a familiar voice shattered the confusion.
"SO!!! The cowardly Saotome seeks to hide from his righteous punishment?!"
The crowd parted like the Red Sea as Kuno shoved his bokken forward, pointing at Ranma.
"No doubt you are having second thoughts as to facing one such as I. Know that if you back down now, you may be forgiven for your earlier insult. You are, after all, ignorant in the ways of this campus, and-"
Ranma rolled his eyes as Kuno continued to drone on about how good he was. "Actually Kuno, I just wanted to eat first." With that, Ranma's chopsticks blurred, and the rest of his bento disappeared into his mouth. He swallowed, then stood up.
"Wow! What speed! What precision!"
"He was just eating, you dimwit!"
Kuno frowned as his opponent calmly dusted himself off, then stepped out from the crowd. So the peasant thought to actually face him? Well, then Saotome would be smited so that he may know his place in this realm!

On the sidelines of the field that was to be the battleground, Nabiki counted up the money that was being gathered from bets. She smiled as she noticed quite a few people had bet for Saotome to win the match, mostly being girls and guys who really wanted to see the kendoist get his.
She had no doubt that Ranma was good, but Kuno's skill in kendo was on a level just bordering unbelievable. Contrary to what most would believe, she did feel a twinge of guilt in making big yen off of Ranma being pounded, but hey, that's life.
A gloved hand tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around, then almost fell over backwards when she saw Rayden leaning over her, grinning.
Composing herself quickly, she smirked slightly. "So, finally got up, huh? Did you want something Shikodan?"
He backed off slightly, standing up straight. "Uh huh. You taking bets?"
She nodded, her smile turning predatory.
He reached into his trenchcoat and pulled out a small wad of bills. "10,000 yen. All on Saotome."
Nabiki raised an eyebrow, then took the money. "This is a lot. You know something we don't?"
Rayden turned to look where Ranma and Kuno had taken positions at opposite ends of the field. "It's all I have, actually. It's just that I can never resist betting on a sure thing."

Kuno glared arrogantly at his opponent.
"Know this, peasant, that today you were defeated by Tatewaki Kuno, the undefeated rising star of the kendo world and the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" Kuno raised his bokken into the air, and a lightning bolt flashed in the distance.

A few miles away, Ran started panicking as a lighting bolt hit her spaceship and blasted most of the engine apart.

Ranma raised an eyebrow. 'Hmph. I could do that. Still, this guy has to have some skill if he has unconscious control of his ki like that.'
Ranma stepped up. "Well, since you seem to like talking more than fighting, I guess I should do some sort of intro, huh?"
He stood up straight, then thrust one hand in his pocket while leaving the other one with the palm upraised. "I am Ranma Saotome." A blue sphere appeared in his hand. "Age 16." He closed his fist on the sphere, shattering it, and spraying blue pinnacles of light around his arm, which emitted a soft blue glow. "Heir to the Musabetsu Kakuto Ryu."
He pointed at Kuno. "And this fight is just starting, pal!" A lightning bolt shot down from behind Ranma this time, leaving the silhouette of a serptentine dragon as it faded.

Just outside of Tokyo bay, a lightning bolt struck a ferry that happened to be transporting a few Amazons, igniting many fires and forcing the crew and passengers overboard.

The crowd started clapping quietly at Ranma's display, getting louder and louder until it erupted into full-blown cheering.
Ranma pulled his other hand out of his pocket, and got into a loose stance.
Kuno was furious. This mere peasant had not only interrupted his earlier speeches, but had also showed him up in the manner of introductions?! To humiliate him such was unforgivable!
The crowd started doing 'The Wave'.

Kuno charged with a horizontal slash to the neck. "Fiend! Have at thee!!"
Ranma backed off, letting the bokken swing by with at least four inches to spare. Ranma had learned from fighting Rayden that often the length of the blade was not the extent of its cutting edge, as often air pressure or slight ki manipulation could cut skin as well as steel, or in this case wood.
Ranma dodged a thrust, then jumped over another slash, somersaulting over his opponent's head and landing behind him. Ranma ducked down, and as predicted Kuno swung around with a blow that would have impacted his chest, had he been up there.
After the bokken passed, Ranma lurched upward with a powerful uppercut, sending Kuno sprawling onto the ground.
His eyes narrowed slightly as Kuno got up and rubbed his jaw, glaring at him furiously. "You know Kuno, from the way everybody talks about you around here, I expected more. Don't tell me that this is the best you can do."
The crowd gasped, and chattering started to break out. This guy was beating Kuno? And now he was taunting him?
Kuno growled. "Very well knave! I will hold nothing back then! You have found your end today!" He lashed out with his full speed, executing three blinding strikes at his foe.
Ranma dodged all of them, then clasped the bokken between his palms on the last attack, an overhead strike. Kuno was immediately unbalanced, and Ranma started pelting his body with kicks as he held his enemy's weapon firmly. Eventually he let go, and Kuno staggered backward, clutching his chest painfully.
Ranma stared at him. "Forget it. You're no match for me. Give it up, will ya?"
Kuno growled again, then shot forward, lashing out with his ultimate technique. His bokken thrusts sped up, and he started yelling 'strike' as he pushed his way into Ranma's defenses.
Ranma raised an eyebrow as Kuno sought to spear him repeatedly. So he did have some skill.
'But not enough to beat me!' Ranma's hand suddenly lashed out, and the entire crowd gasped as they realized that his hand had grabbed Kuno's weapon right in the middle of a thrust.

On the sidelines, Akane was gaping. 'There's no way he could do that! I've seen Kuno cut trees with that stupid bokken! His hand should be gone from trying to stop that attack!'

Ranma glared at Kuno. "All right man, I've been lenient, but it's time for this to stop. Do you concede, or am I gonna have to finish this?"
Kuno muttered curses under his breath as he tried to free his weapon from Ranma's iron grip. "Fool! Relinquish my weapon so that I may smite you!"
Ranma sweatdropped and stared mutely as Kuno kept struggling with his bokken.
Then his fist closed tightly, and the part he was holding shattered into splinters.
While Kuno stood shock still for a moment, Ranma hopped backward, then launched himself forward at full speed, with one arm outstretched. Most of the crowd thought he was going to clothesline Kuno, but instead he grabbed the kendoist's shirt as he passed by, dragging him along at his own speed.
*SLAM!!!*
And right into a tree. Ranma spun around, passing by the tree himself with only inches to spare.
Kuno had taken the impact fully, and his back was imbedded slightly in the tree, with a row of splintered bark outlining his form.

Ranma dusted off his hands, then casually walked away from the scene as the entire crowd started yelling; some were cheering, others were praising the victor, and some others were cursing their losses.
Nabiki was still in shock over the outcome of the battle. She had known that there was a chance Saotome would get lucky or actually manage to hold his own, but the way he downed Kuno like he was nothing wasn't what she had in mind.
Once again, she felt a tapping on her shoulder. She turned around to see Rayden holding his palm out expectantly. Sighing, she started counting out yen as others lined up to collect their winnings.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"So correct me if I've misinterpreted this. Ever since he was born, Ranma was in fact engaged to one of your daughters, Mr. Tendo?"
Genma was surprised at how calmly Nodoka was taking this. From what he remembered, she had always had patience and an iron will, but with the way she always carried around that katana and such, he hadn't been quite sure what to expect.
Were he able to read emotions at a glance, as Kaze was doing, Genma would see that Nodoka was in fact furious at not being informed about an engagement formed without her consent. As she had every right to be.
"Yes, well, your son has yet to choose his fiancee, but as soon as he does, the ceremony can begin!" Soun, who could read people about as well as he could read Chinese, had assumed that since Nodoka hadn't vehemently refused the engagement, the wedding was on.
Nodoka frowned. "What is your opinion on this matter, Genma?"
Genma winced, suddenly aware that he was the center of attention. "Well, it's a matter of family honor......"
Nodoka lowered her head. "A matter that was decided without me or my son's consent. Tell me, what does Ranma think of this?"
Genma was about to speak for his son when Kaze's unwavering tone interrupted him.
"Master Saotome is willing to do his duty for the sake of family honor, though I must say that he's essentially opposed to the idea. He is aware that he's not ready to settle down, and he has little to no personal interest in uniting the families or inheriting the dojo."
Genma glared at him. Soun frowned. "Now why should he be opposed?"
Kaze turned toward him. "For exactly the reasons I just stated. It is my personal opinion that one should never rush these sort of things. As I recall, you were quite adamant in supporting that in the Amazon village."
Nodoka blinked. "Oh, yes. I'd forgotten about that. Ranma and his friends told me about your trip to the Amazon village."
Soun blinked and glanced over at his friend. He had just realized that Genma had been unusually quiet about all that happened on his training trip with Ranma, as usually Saotome was more than happy to boast of his accomplishments in the name of the art.
Genma started sweating and scratched the back of his head. "Heh heh. They did, did they? Uh, did they mention that we managed to destroy a ferocious hell-beast?"
"That's nice dear." Nodoka's expression didn't waver, to Genma's growing horror. "However, I'm more interested in the part where you made Ranma fight that Amazon girl and when he won, he became engaged to her."
Soun spit out a good bit of the tea he was drinking, then turned to Genma angrily. "What's this about another engagement?! You didn't tell me about this Saotome!"
Kasumi carefully poured more tea into her father's cup, listening all the while. "How did he get engaged?"
Nodoka shot a glance at Kasumi. Up until now, the girl had been rather quiet. Why did she seem interested in this other engagement? Smiiling slightly, she answered. "Well, from what Ranma told me, their laws say that any male outsider that defeats an Amazon woman is married to her."
"Pending a little ritual called the 'Kiss of Marriage'." Kaze added.
Nodoka nodded. "Yes. Apparently Ranma defeated one of these Amazons in a tournament for a table of food. Though it seems that wasn't all he won."
She sighed. "Although I hardly consider this engagement to have the same validity of your claim, Tendo, it is something to consider. I do not wish my son to be tied down like this so early in life."
Soun was on the verge of doing............ something. Truthfully, he couldn't decide if crying or demanding that she agree would have a better effect on the current situation. "B-but... the engagement...... we have to unite the families........."
Nodoka shook her head. "I'm very sorry, Tendo, but I'm afraid this will not work out. Besides, my son already has a girlfriend."
Everybody stopped what they were doing and registered this thought into their minds.
Genma gaped. "What?!"
Nodoka shrugged slightly. "Well, she's more of a prospect than his girlfriend. But in any case, I think it's important that someone as manly as my son be allowed to 'play the field' as they say. I'm afraid an engagement at this point is out of the question."
Genma started to get angry. "Nodoka, you listen here-!"
Her eyes narrowed and she shifted the long, thin bundle on her shoulder slightly.
He gulped and immediately lowered his voice. "Now dear, it's a matter of honor that Ranma marry a Tendo, and-"
"Honey, there's been something I've been meaning to ask you. Why is there a panda floating above your head?" She already knew the answer, as Ranma had explained the whole incident, and Kaze the cure.
Genma shut up very quickly.
Soun started twitching slightly, then fell down onto the ground and started crying loudly.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! Now the schools will never be joined!!"
Nodoka blinked at the display. Kasumi shook her head. "Poor father. He hasn't been the same since mother left us."
Nodoka nodded sagely. "Yes. Kimiko was such a good friend. How are you holding up dear?"
Kasumi smiled. "Oh, I'm all right. I have housework to keep me busy." She started to pick up the dishes on the small table.
"Let me help you with that. So how are your sisters? I haven't seen any of you since you were children!" She started chatting idle as she led Kasumi to the kitchen, leaving the men behind.
Genma immediately turned to Soun who was still bawling. "Now Tendo, I've got a plan. You see, as soon as Ranma gets home today, we'll-" His plan was unexpectantly cut short as he yawned deeply, then closed his eyes and fell face first onto the table, sleeping soundly. Kaze removed his hand from the older man's back.
Soun hadn't stopped crying yet, as Genma had stopped relaying his 'foolproof' plan to unite the families. The barrage of tears seemed to gradually slow, and then Soun too collapsed into a comatose heap.
Kaze nodded, satisfied. "The rest will do them both good."
With that, he took out a book and started reading, ignoring the clatter of dishes and idle chit-chat coming from the kitchen.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Rayden was busy grinning to himself as he counted his winnings from Ranma's fight.
"Ah, easy money. Maybe that'll teach Tendo not to bet against a Saotome. Heh heh." Chuckling to himself, he looked around for some place to eat.
*Whish* He blinked as his ears picked up the slight sound of metal cutting air.
*Thack* *Thack* *Thack* *Thack* *Thack*
"Ow!"
Rayden growled and muttered under his breath as he reached behind him and pulled several small objects out of his back. They were small, thin circles of metal, with buzzsaw-like hook blades surrounding the edges. Each of the objects had a tiny spot of blood on them where they had managed to break skin.
"Ninja stars? What? Where'd these come from?" He asked no one in particular.
"Hmph. If those shuriken had been poisoned, as they usually are, you would be on your knees and dying right now." No one in particular answered.
Rayden turned around to see a man staring down at him from atop a lamp post. He was smaller than he was, Ranma's size actually, and wore a light brown tunic with a slightly darker cloak on top of it, along with animal-skin boots. He had black hair tied into a long ponytail that reached down to his waist, and had an eyepatch over one eye.
"And you would be............ the pirate ninja? C'mon, help me out here." Rayden went over all the odd-looking people he had ever met, but couldn't recognize the figure before him.
The man smirked. "You don't remember me, do you? I'm not really surprised. Although from the way you let those shuriken hit you, I may have the wrong person. You are Rayden Shikodan, are you not?"
Rayden crossed his arms over his chest and smirked. "Who wants to know?"
The man smiled himself, although it really seemed more friendly than malevolent. "My name is Cyrax Ayakana of the Hitokage Ninja clan. I have been searching for you for a long time, Shikodan of the White Star."
Rayden idly scratched his back where the shuriken had hit. "Uh, okay...... why?"
Cyrax chuckled. "So that I may challenge you, of course. A challenge on your terms. An honorable fight, in the syle of this... 'Anything-Goes' that you now practice. Tommorrow at noon."
Rayden frowned, then reached into his pocket and took out a small, leather-bound notebook and started thumbing through it.
"Nope. 'Fraid not. Got plans. How's Saturday at 2 PM?"
Cyrax blinked, slightly disoriented by having to set up an appointment. "Uh... that would be all right, I suppose. At the abandoned construction site near the school."
Rayden nodded. "Good. See ya later, Ayakana." Giving a brief wave, and casually tossing away the shuriken, he walked away to once again search for some cheap food.
Cyrax remained where he stood, scratching his head in thought. Somehow he thought that the infamous chaos knight would put up more of a fuss than that. Shrugging it off, he left to make preparations.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Nodoka smiled as she walked back into the living room, with Kasumi right next to her. Kasumi was such a nice young woman. After chatting for a few minutes while doing the dishes, she had seriously considered opening up the matter of the engagement on the grounds that Kasumi would be Ranma's wife. She reconsidered however. It wouldn't be fair to Kasumi, who might want to begin a quiet, passionate love affair with her son behind everybody's back. Nodoka smirked slightly at the thought. Her son was so manly!
She was understandably confused when she entered the living room and found her husband and Soun sleeping soundly with their heads lying on the table.
"Did something happen?"
Kaze looked up from where he was studying some sort of scroll. "Oh, nothing really. I believe master Saotome will be along later. He's just enrolled in Furinkan High School today. Ah, I believe he's here now."
Nodoka blinked, and was about to question how he knew that, when there was a knock at the front door.
"Hey Mom?! It's me and Ataru!!"
Throwing a questioning glance at the white priest, who had returned to his scroll, Nodoka answered the door and greeted her visitors.

She blinked as she noticed that Ataru was thoroughly scorched. "Lum or Ten?"
Ataru sighed. "Both. After I helped drag Kuno to Sakura's office, I just tripped, and-"
Ranma snorted. "Tripped. Right. You fell right on top of the nurse and then tried to 'regain your balance' by grabbing onto her breasts."
Halfway through the sentence Ataru had elbowed Ranma in the side to try and get him to shut up. By the time Ranma finished, he was rubbing his elbow in pain.
Ataru grumbled something under his breath, then continued. "After Sakura beat me off, she knocked me out of the room and into Lum and the brat. Things went downhill from there."
Ranma rolled his eyes. "After that we just took off. That's why we're here early."
Nodoka smiled, then patted Ataru on the head as she helped him in. "You really should learn to be more discreet when doing things like that. You'll find that a little patience can really help when trying to seduce a woman."
Ranma and Kaze stared at her. Was she actually giving the man advice?
Kasumi stood up from where she was sitting to greet the new guests. "Hello Ranma. Welcome home."
Ataru's gaze went up and down her body, and he chuckled slightly. "Well, maybe it's time to practice my technique... URK! Owowowowow!!"
Ranma had grabbed him firmly around the back of the neck, and had forced him down to his knees in pain.
Growling slightly, Ranma released him and flexed his hand. "Sorry about that. Don't know what came over me."
Kasumi blinked, then left for the kitchen. "I should make more tea."
Ataru looked at Ranma questionably, and Ranma glared at him. "Look. Don't you EVER grope or harrass Kasumi, all right?"
Ataru blinked, then nodded, the pain in his neck already fading. "Okay, okay, I get it. So she's your woman, huh?"
Ranma blinked himself, then shook his head. "No! No! That's not it! She's just... well, just don't go messing around with her, all right?"
Nodoka laid a hand on Ataru's shoulder and nodded herself. "I know that she's a very healthy young woman, but I'm afraid that in this case I'm afraid you must hold back. My son has first dibs."
*Thud*
Ranma unsteadily got up from his facefault. "Mom! Not you too!"
Nodoka smiled. "Now, now, Ranma. It's nothing to be ashamed about. Kasumi is a very beautiful woman. She's a virgin too. You'd best get to work on her."
Ranma was too shocked to move or think coherently, so he more or less stumbled backwards slightly, and fell over his father's sleeping form.
Ataru whistled. "You've got it made man! Go for it!" Grinning, he gave Ranma a thumbs-up before exiting the house.
Ranma decided that the current subject was too much for his brain to handle and steered it toward something else. "Why is Pops sleeping?"
Kaze was still trying not to laugh out loud at Ranma's reaction to his mother's words, but still managed to reply. "Psychic suggestion."
Nodoka didn't know what to make of this, so she ignored it. "Seriously though, Ranma, I want you to ask that other girl for a date. That one in the arcade."
Ranma blinked, then nodded. "You mean Yuka? Okay, sure............ uh, one thing though."
Nodoka smiled softly. He was going to ask her for advice! "Yes?"
"What exactly is a date? I've heard of it, but I don't really know what it is." Ranma scratched the back of his head.
*Thud*
Ranma leaned over the table to check up on his mother. Why had she fallen over like that?
Kaze sighed, and idly wondered if he should have bothered giving Ranma 'The Talk' over the years they grew up together. Quickly deciding that that would have been far more trouble than it was worth, he patiently waited for Kasumi to return with the tea.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"This is the right area. Right over here, in this cave." The woman pointed to the rock which was bound by a Shinto ward.
She was completely stunning, with long purple hair that reached all the way down to her thighs, and a very mature and curvaceous body that exuded sexuality, especially in the way she wearing a cocktail dress that seemed two sizes too small for her body..
Behind her were three men. The first one was the size of a normal man, with short brown hair and hard, chiseled features, almost to the point of making him look inhuman.
"So this is the place. We should do well if you're correct." The man spoke hoarsely, as if he was trying to speak words he wasn't meant to.
The woman smiled and leaned back into him. "Have I ever been wrong, love? The evil power is here, I can feel it."
"Yumon graas!" The pair turned at the noise, and the woman glared at the source of the interruption, while the man detached her body from his.
Behind them stood two men that seemed inhumanly large, especially by Japanese standards. One was fat and pudgy, while the other one was at least 8 feet tall and covered with layers of bulging muscle.
"Donkon wa talhee oina!" The woman sighed at the muscular one's complaint.
"Marcay non gonbes Bit, iwo chuta talhee!" She turned back to the cave. "Blasted idiot uniped. Can't even walk with two legs, much less speak the human's language." She muttered.
The fat man stood forward, and seemed to peer into the plugged-up cave, his face expressionless.
"I detect only a faint life sign. Nail, are you certain that this... creature is of sufficient power to be of any use to us?"
Nail snarled at him. "Must you hideous cretins always question my premonitions? To be honest, I don't know what we'll find, but it will be powerful and it will be evil! Is that acceptable?!"
The man looked at his companions uneasily. "Bit, Rotor, Nail. Calm yourselves. We'll know what we've found in a few moments."
Nail snorted, then turned back to the cave. "Thank you Bolt. Now just a little dark magic here..." She waved her hand at the charm wrapped around the boulder, and it glowed softly before catching fire and falling off the rock.
Bit walked up to the entrance, then grasped the huge stone with one hand, digging holds into the rock with his fingers and then tossing it away as if made of styrofoam.
Nail nodded, then kneeled before the cave entrance, beckoning with her hands like one would to a puppy. "Come on now. I know you're in there. Reveal yourself!"
She smiled darkly as a pair of brightly glowing eyes flashed in the darkness of the cave.
"Yes... it has awoken. Come here now. We want to help you."
The creature took a step forward. And then another. And another.
Then it took a final step outside, finally illuminating its form, before it suddenly fell on its face.
Rotor looked down at the bald, two-foot tall, wrinkled old man on the ground before them, wearing a tattered old brown gi. He looked at Nail. "Am I to assume that this is the creature?" Rotor would have said something witty and scathing, except that he lacked any semblance of a sense of humor.
Nail gulped and chuckled nervously. "Uh... no! No, this isn't it at all! It must be deeper down into the cave!"
Bolt briefly stepped into the cave, then came out again. "No. The cave goes on for about 4 meters."
"I don't detect anything else in the immediate area besides this old man and ourselves. It would appear we have wasted our time here." Rotor said mechanically.
Bit groaned and started whining in his native, demonic language.
Nail's left eye started twitching. "Shut up! All of you! This must be a disguise of some sort! Or a weakened physical state! You! Wake up!" She kicked the old man repeatedly.
He blinked slightly, then groggily stood up. "Huh? What? Where am I? Genma? Soun?"
He shook his head, then looked up to where the last voice had spoken.
His eyes widened, and suddenly took on a warm, watery quality. Nail blinked.
Happousai was in heaven. After nearly 20 years of imprisonment in that cave with not even a bra to tide him over, his perversion had been drastically weakened as he was forced to go cold turkey, even in the hibernating state he had to put himself in to survive the whole time.
Being suddenly freed, and then finding out that his savior was a very busty young woman was akin to any other man finding the Fountain of Youth a day before he died of old age.
Nail glared down at him. "Who are you? What are you? Answer me, damn you!"
He had no idea why she seemed to be angry at him, but that was okay. He smiled. "Name's Happousai, pretty lady! And I'm your dream come true!"
*Glomp*
Nail blinked, as did all the others in the vicinity as she beheld that the old man had attached himself to her chest.
Nail stood still for a moment. Then her mouth started trembling as the old man proceeded to rub his face back and forth between her breasts.
Happousai suddenly felt rather cold, which was odd, because he was currently experiencing a type of high that had yet to be obtained with the help of the purest crack ever made. After so long, the energy suddenly flowing through his body! Oh, how wonderful it was!
What he didn't realize was that the current drop in temperature was due to the icy blue aura that Nail was currently putting out.
"You insolent worm! You'll die for this!" She shook her fist at her side, her shock at being groped so blatantly muddling her thoughts to the point that she couldn't think straight enough to just punch him off.
Bolt shook his head, and pulled out a jeweled scimitar from underneath his cloak. "I'm afraid that your premonition was wrong this time, Nail. Let us put this creature out of his misery and take care of those other men."
Nail remained perfectly still, and remained so even as Bolt slashed upward with his scimitar, his blade not even tearing the dress as he cut in front of her chest.
What was curious is that there was a distinct lack of human blood following the attack, or a corpse of any type.
Nail stepped back in shock as she noticed the tiny old man land on Bolt's head.
"Now what's the big idea attacking me?! Do you know how many years it's been since I've seen a rack like that? Or any racks at all?"
Bolt raised an eyebrow. "Should I care?" He ducked down slightly and sped forward, then turned around with a diagonal slash.
It should have hit, but somehow the aged martial artist managed to move aside in mid-air. "Well! Talk about rude! I'll have to teach you some manners!" Happousai shot forward, then pulled a corncob pipe out of his gi and jabbed Bolt with it. His eyes widening in surprise, the disguised demon was sent flying back into the outside wall of the cave.
Nail gaped. "How...?"
She was about to attack herself, when Rotor stepped in front of her. "I see. You have done well Nail. This is indeed just the entity we were looking for."
Happousai blinked. "I am?"
Nail blinked. "He is?"
Rotor nodded. "Tell me... Happousai... how would you like to help us, in return for freeing you? Um, excuse me......"
Nail started trembling again as Happousai fondled her. "GET. HIM. OFF!!!!"
She stopped trembling, and suddenly her breathing returned to normal as she started to calm down (unfortunately for Happousai, who was enjoying the effect her heavier breathing rate was having on her bosom). Happousai started to feel cold again as her icy blue aura reappeared.
*Shing* A sheet of ice suddenly shot up and covered her completely.
Happousai bounced onto the ground, then blinked at where the woman was now encased in ice. Usually he was more than confident enough in his abilities that he would just keep hanging on to a woman's chest even as they retaliated, but something about these people were putting him on edge, giving his danger sense slightly more control over his libido.
The ice shattered, and Nail frowned darkly as she realized that she hadn't been able to catch the little pervert.
Bolt came up behind her, his face expressionless.
Happousai, having been able to fully recharge on the last grope, turned to Rotor. "So, you mentioned something about helping you out? What's in it for me?"
Rotor smiled amiably. "Gold. Power. Whatever you wish. Our mission is of the utmost importance to our superiors, and we have many resources at our disposal."
Happousai grinned, then pointed at Nail. "Can I have her?"
Nail growled, and a blue sphere formed in her hand. She was about to launch it too, before Bolt held her shoulder firmly.
"I'm afraid she's not currently available. Uh, would you consider any other form of payment?"
Happousai frowned, then sat down and took a drag from his pipe. "Well, ordinarily no, but you did set me loose, so I suppose I owe you for that. So I'll except panties instead!"
The surrounding demons blink-blinked. Except for Bit, who didn't understand Japanese and was busy chewing on a tree to find out what they tasted like.
"Panties... as in women's underwear?" Bolt was totally in the dark about this one. He had fair knowledge of human culture (he did know what panties were), but he couldn't think of any use that an old human male would have for panties.
'Perhaps there's some country that uses them as currency or something.'
"Oh! And bras! Can't forget the bras!" Happousai shouted happily, already dreaming about the new 'collection' he would start on.
Nail's twitch returned, although it lacked much of her earlier fury. "Panties? Bras? What is with this guy?"
Rotor shrugged. "Very well. We'll.......... 'pick up' some... unmentionables on the way to our destination. I'll describe our task on the way."
"All right!" Happousai bounded up and down in joy, before deciding that it was time for another cheap feel.
*Glomp*
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!"

**********************************************************************************

End Chapter 4