Standard disclaimer applies. Okay, you know the drill. I don't own Ranma, I don't own Urusei Yatsura, yadda, yadda, yadda. The only people I own are those that you don't recognize and make the real witty comments throughout the story. If they're not witty, then they're someone else's fault. I don't get paid for this, so what would be the point of suing me?

Chapter 3
The Nerima Massacre! Enter Bit and Rotor!
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"Screaming thunder missile!"
A blue bolt of energy slammed into the black armor plates, sending arcs of power spreading across the metal surface.
The animated suit of armor stumbled for a moment, and then collapsed, its jointed metal plates joining the steel broadsword and heavy tower shield in a messy heap.

Ranma leapt over the remains of the last reaper, then came down on the next one in a flying kick, knocking it back before it could raise its shield. This brought it right under Rayden, who cleaved the creature cleanly in two with a single vertical slash of his sword.

Everyone who happened upon the battle was soon to leave the area, or at least seek shelter from the large suits of black armor that moved without anybody inside. The fact that the wristguards weren't attached to anything and floated in the air was testament to that fact.

Genma stood back on the sidelines with Kaze, shouting suggestions along with the occasional bit of moral support.

Ranma disarmed one of the reapers, knocking its sword away with a well placed kick, before landing 8 punches right in the creature's chest. It reeled back from the force of the blows, and stumbled to a halt right in front of the two spectators.
Kaze raised his arm, and a yellow globe of light formed in his hand.
"Mana wash!" A pale snake-like ribbon of light blasted forth from the ground and passed through the demon, which gave one final shudder before collapsing into a pile of scrap.

Rayden parried two blows from his opponent with his sword, then made a horizontal slash at his target, cutting the sword and shield in half in a single strike. Then he reached for the helmet floating above the breastplate and crushed it in his hands, letting the rest of the armor fall into a neat little pile in front of him.

Ranma ducked under the last one's sword, and swept the legs out from under it. The greaves were knocked away from the rest of the creature, clattering to the side. Ranma stared for a moment, and then barely managed to avoid decapitation as the steel demon swung its sword at him.
Cursing silently, he grabbed the thing's breastplate, slapped his palm against it, then discharged a lethal blast of ki at point blank range.

Ranma dusted off his hands as he walked away from the molten pile of slag.

"Boy, I'm very disappointed in you!"
Ranma groaned inwardly. He would have groaned outwardly, but he really didn't want to give his father the satisfaction.
"That thing nearly killed you! Haven't I taught you better than that? Oh, why am I cursed to have such-" *Wham!*

Ranma growled, and removed his fist from Genma's head. "Say that when you're not hiding behind Kaze the whole fight old man!"
"You show some respect for your father Ranma!"
"I will when you do something worth respectin'!"

The few spectators left collectively sweatdropped as they watched father and son come to blows.
This was nothing new to Rayden, who took the opportunity to bring his foot down on Genma's head.

"Yo, old man, weren't we goin' somewhere?"

Genma, after recovering from the blow, immediately brightened.
"Ah yes, the Tendos! Come on boy, you'll just love your new fiancee!"
"I though you said you didn't know her," Ranma said dryly.
Genma sweatdropped. "Well, Tendo often spoke highly of her in the letters he sent me!"
"But with them being his daughters, wouldn't he have a biased opinion?" offered Kaze.
Ranma frowned. "How could this Tendo guy have sent you any letters? We've never stayed in a single place long enough to get any mail."
Genma's left eye twitched, and he suddenly spun around.
"All right! I lied! I've never met her, I've never seen her, and I don't care either, so let's go!!"
Genma turned back around.
"All right, their house should just be around the bend."

Ranma, Rayden, and Kaze didn't follow immediately, due to the fact they were still frozen in shock.
".......... Geez........." Rayden muttered.
"I don't like the looks of this," Kaze added.
"Man, I think I liked him better when he just lied until he could change the subject." Ranma finished.

The trio walked after the large man, thoroughly ignoring the murmers of the crowd behind them.
"Did you see tha - He came and crushed - There were at least ten of them - Weird armor suits - They threw lightning - That priest guy called up a spirit - So powerful - The guy with the pigtail is hot - Love the trench coat, wonder where I can get one - Must be from Furinkan -" All the spectators nodded at the last comment, then forgot about the whole occurence and went about their daily, not-so-normal lives.

It didn't take long before rain suddenly poured from the remarkably clear sky.
"What the-" Ranma looked up, only to nearly drown as the onpour continued.
Rayden pulled up the collar on his trench coat and grimaced. "Sheesh, it was completely clear just a minute ago......"
Kaze nodded. "A bad omen. I don't believe things are going to go well."
"Growf," Genma added.

The three young men turned to look at the panda, and all of them had to bite their tongues to keep from laughing.
Genma growled and held up a sign. [I can't show up at the Tendo's like this! Get me some hot water!]
Rayden stopped giggling and smirked. "Well, they're gonna find out eventually, so why not just go in as is?"
Ranma nodded. "He's got a point."

Genma shook his fat, furry head relentlessly. [No way! There's gotta be some way keep this a secret!]

Kaze suddenly looked thoughtful. "All right then, let's try this."
Genma blinked, as Kaze raised his arms while his hands started to glow a bright yellow.
Kaze's eyes closed and he started to chant an incantation. "Lord of spirits, holy light amidst a sea of darkness, banish this vengeful soul, and purge it from its shell!"

Genma, to his surprise and terror, started to glow brightly, before his entire form was enveloped in white light. The light collected on him, and then formed a pillar which shot up into the sky.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Somewhere not very far away:

"Urgh! Damn it!"
Ataru Moroboshi cursed loudly as he dragged himself on the ground, his thoroughly electro-shocked muscles refusing to bend easily. Finally having crawled his way to the railing of a bridge, he lay panting and cursing as he got his strength back.

'Sheesh, why does Lum always have to fly off the handle like that? I didn't even get the chance to touch that other girl!'
Sighing inwardly (so as not to waste more breath) Ataru looked out into the distance.
'Funny...... the newscast said there wasn't a cloud in the sky over all of Japan...... ah well, at least it's not raining over here.'
Just as those thoughts ran through his mind, a thin column of white light shot up right under the center of the rainstorm.
'Just great, what was that? I hope it's not another alien....... unless it's female, of course.'

(Now that the lame, blatantly uncreative foreshadowing is over with, let's return to our heroes, shall we?)
__________________________________________________________________________________

Ranma, Rayden, and Kaze all stared as the light receded from Genma's body, to reveal the fat, bald martial artist in all his human glory.
And they stared.
And stared.
And stared.
And stared a little more.
Then they stared a lot more.
Ranma opened his mouth to say something, but at the last second stopped and stared instead.

Finally, Genma couldn't take the suspense any more, and looked down at himself.
After the initial shock and surge of satifaction of not being a panda despite the heavy rain, Genma started to check himself all over to find out what everyone was staring at.

Finally, Ranma lifted a finger to point above Genma's head.
Genma slowly looked up...... and sweatdropped.
Finally, Rayden just couldn't take it any more and fell to the ground laughing, all the while pointing at the little super-deformed panda floating above Genma's head.

Genma blinked and tried to move out from under it. The little panda followed him, still floating, its expression and sitting position unchanged.
"Wh-what is this thing?" Genma asked as he started to panic.
Kaze sweatdropped. "Er, the purging of the spirit didn't go quite as expected. I forced the spirit from your body, but it refuses to leave you."
Ranma adjusted his footing, so as to ignore the seismic waves from Rayden pounding his fist on the ground in hilarious laughter.
"So you're saying that's Pop's... curse?"
Kaze nodded, then nearly stumbled as the ground shook again.
"Yes, that's the visual manifestation of the panda's soul. In time, the spell will wear off and it will reenter Saotome's body and reactivate the curse."
"What?!" Genma bellowed. Looking up angrily, he thrust a fist toward the little panda spirit. Needless to say, his hand passed right through with no ill effects. That didn't stop him from trying again and again, however.
The tiny panda spirit, apparently irritated by the hand trying to shoo it away, bit it when it came around again.
Rayden, who had only recently recovered from his laughter, went into another fit and hit the ground.

"I can't go see Tendo like this!" Genma whined.
Ranma looked thoughtful. "Well, we've really got nowhere else to go... except maybe Mom's place."
Ranma brightened as he thought it over. "Yeah, why don't we go there! It'd be great to see Mom again!"
Genma sweatdropped. "Er, that's not really a good idea, son. Why don't we just go to the Tendos, I'll think of something." 'Nodoka will be furious if she finds out about the engagement before he's married. Hopefully me and Tendo can pull off the wedding before we see her again. Ha! Married at 16! If that's not manly, what is?'

Ranma looked downcast for a moment before shrugging his shoulders. "All right. You know the way, so let's go."
Genma started walking, desperately trying to maintain his dignity with the small semi-transparent panda sitting above his head.
Rayden, who was still fighting the chuckles, quickly followed after he managed to get off the ground.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Soun Tendo of the Tendo branch of Anything-Goes Martial Arts sat at the dining table eating breakfast. To anyone who would have looked upon the scene, they wouldn't notice anything different about it, save that Nabiki looked thoughtful and Akane looked angry (both of which are far from uncommon).

Inwardly though, Soun was just barely restraining a fountain of tears that could have drowned his whole family.
'Oh Saotome, at last our dream of uniting the schools will finally be realized! I can't wait for your arrival!'
His daughters' views were somewhat varied.
'I can't believe it! Engaged, at 16! Why me? I'll bet he's a total jerk, too! And a pervert! All guys are perverts!'
Nabiki's thoughts were a tad more optomistic.
'Sheesh, talk about waiting 'till the last second. Then again, Daddy isn't exactly the tactful type. I just hope he's cute.'
Kasumi didn't look any different from normal, but on the inside was a turmoil of thoughts and questions.'
'What if he's too young? What kind of food does he like? Does he pick up after himself, or is he real messy? How much does his father eat? Did I pick up enough groceries?'

*Ding dong*

At the sound of the doorbell, everyone was immediately shaken from their thoughts. Soun and Nabiki immediately ran for the door, while Akane sighed and followed Kasumi's more patient pace.

Soun stopped the moment he opened the door, blocking Nabiki's view. She tried to peek around him, but her line of sight was further blocked by a large body in white.
"Tendo!"
"Saotome!"

The two followers of the Anything-Goes-School enveloped each other in crushing hugs, only letting go when Soun started to cry tears of joy.

Genma scratched the back of his head. 'I guess Soun's the same as ever. Some things never change.'

"Father, is this your friend?"
Soun wiped the tears from his eyes as he nodded. "Yes. This is Genma Saotome, and........."
"Something wrong Tendo?" Genma asked, curious as to why Soun stopped so suddenly.
"Saotome...... is that a panda on your head?"
Genma laughed as he sweatdropped. "Ha ha ha! Of course not, Tendo! Merely an optical illusion!"
Nabiki sweatdropped next. "An optical illusion. Riiiiiiiiiiight."
Quickly squeezing past the elder Saotome, Nabiki found three young men standing behind him, watching the events with a bemused expression on their faces.
Genma was about to introduce them all, when Soun interrupted him.
"Ranma Saotome?"
The two taller men raised a leg as if to step forward, only to move backward instead.
Ranma chuckled nervously as he felt everyone's eyes on him.
Nabiki smiled. "Hmm. Not bad. I think I can forgive you for this one Daddy."
Ranma blinked. "Huh?"

Before he knew what was happening, Ranma was caught up in a crushing hug. Ranma waved his arms wildly to express his need for, and thereby lack of, air, only to have the man squeeze tighter.
Out of the blue, Kaze spoke up. "I do believe his life force is fading."
While no one took what he said seriously, it was enough to make Soun step back from Ranma in embarrassment.
Before Ranma could catch his breath however, he was grabbed by the shoulders and forcefully turned around to face the three women of the Tendo family.
Once again Ranma blinked.
Soun pointed to the oldest girl, the one with brown hair in a ponytail first as he introduced his daughters.
"This is Kasumi, she's 19."
Soun pointed towards the middle daughter, who had her brown hair cut short that seemed to look him up and down approvingly.
"This is Nabiki, she's 17."
Soun pointed toward the last daughter, who had her black hair in a ponytail like the elder sister. For reasons that escaped him, she seemed to stare at him with an glare of hatred and disgust he had only before seen on the demons he frequently dispatched.
"And this is Akane, she's 16. Pick any one and she'll be your fiancee!"
Akane's eyes narrowed at this, as if daring him to pick her.
He didn't realize, however, because his mind had already gone into yellow alert.
"W-w-wait! Fiancee? I just met them!!"
Genma slapped him on the back. "That's right boy! Now pick one so we can get on with the ceremony!"

Luckily for Ranma, Kaze decided to interfere on his behalf.
"Isn't it rather early for him to marry anyone?"
Genma tried to elbow Kaze in the side, only to have his arm smack into an invisible energy field.
"After all, Ranma is only 16, hasn't had a consistant education, knows very little in the way of social graces or dealing with people... no offense."
"None taken." If anything, Ranma only looked relieved.
"It's my professional belief that one should never rush into these things."
Soun and Genma were about to tell him to mind his own business, when Nabiki interrupted them.
"Daddy, who are they?"
Soun looked questioningly at the two young men. Kaze bowed apologetically.
"Forgive me for not introducing myself earlier. My name is Kaze Toren, priest 2nd class of the order of The White Star."
Rayden gave a salute with two fingers and grinned. "Name's Rayden Shikodan, first paladin of the order of The White Star. Don't be too impressed with the title though, it only sounds impressive."
Nabiki blinked. "Uh huh......"
Kasumi smiled. That is to say, her smile became deeper, or more pronounced...... or something.
"How nice! It looks like we'll have more company!"
Soun glanced back toward Genma. "Saotome, why are these people traveling with you?"
Genma laughed nervously. "It's a long story Tendo. How about I tell you over a cup of sake?"
Soun smiled broadly. "Why that's a fine idea! I've been saving a special bottle for something like this!"

As the two men left, Kaze opted to follow Kasumi upstairs. "I'll assist with our preparations. Masters, I suggest you get settled. We'll likely be here for a while."
Nabiki glanced at the two remaining travellers. "Masters?"
Ranma laughed as he placed a hand behind his head. "He does that to everybody. Just wait, you'll have a 'mistress' next to your name soon."
Nabiki just smiled at him, which for some reason made him very nervous.
Once she was sure that her father was out of earshot, Akane once again focused a glare at Ranma.
"I'm not marrying you, so whatever perverted thoughts you're having, forget it!"
Ranma took a step back involuntarily, completely taken off-guard by the comment.
"Well, toucheeee." Rayden crossed his arms over his chest.
Akane shifted her glare. "Mind your own business!"
v Ranma quickly recovered, and jumped in with a retort.
"Hey! I'm just as much a victim in this as you are! You think I want to be married right now?"
Akane snorted. "No, I'm sure you'd much rather just skip the wedding and go straight to the honeymoon!"
Nabiki rolled her eyes. Akane was just going to ruin this, she could tell.
Ranma just blinked. "Honeymoon? What?"
Rayden grabbed him by the shoulder and whispered something in his ear, releasing him as soon as his eyes bugged out.
Ranma bigsweated as he pointed an accusing finger at Akane. "Hey! What kind of guy do you take me for? You don't even know me!"
Akane just huffed as she walked out of the room. "Just stay away from me! If I catch you or your friends peeping on me or my sisters, they'll never find your remains!!"

Rayden and Ranma's combined gazes shot daggers into her back for the accusation as she ascended the stairway.
Nabiki shook her head. "Sorry about that. Little sister has always been rather...... headstrong."
Rayden snorted. "That sounds like an understatement to me. Where does she get off, judging us the moment we walk in the door?"
Nabiki smiled and waved her hand in a dismissing gesture. "Enough about Akane. Ranma, why don't you tell me a little about yourself?"
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Oh, that's all right, you don't need to help."
Kaze smiled as he continued to lay out the futons. "Nonsense. We are guests in your home. It wouldn't be right not to at least help out, Mistress Tendo."
Kasumi smiled from the sheer politeness of the speech. "Oh, well, if you insist. But just call me Kasumi, please."
Kaze nodded. "Yes, Mistress Kasumi."
Kasumi blinked, and then decided not to pursue the subject.

Kaze finished setting up his futon, and started taking out Rayden's, when Kasumi spoke up again.
"So... about Ranma......" Kasumi trailed off, unsure of how to ask the question.
"What about him?"
Kasumi didn't answer for a while, and Kaze smiled.
"I assume you wish to know a bit about Master Saotome's character?"
Kasumi blushed faintly. "Well, I don't mean to be rude, but-"
"No, no, not at all," Kaze waved off her apologies, "For all you know you may end up being engaged to him. It's only right that you know what kind of person he is."
Kasumi didn't answer, but kept her attention focused as she folded a blanket.
Kaze let out a sigh. "Well, to begin, Master Ranma was a social disaster when we first became acquainted. This is mostly due to his father's influence, who has never placed much importance in skills such as tact and manners. After a few lectures from me, his manners have improved, but he still has a tendency of being far too honest."
Kasumi blinked.
"Other than that, he generally isn't good at anything non-physical. Emotions are rarely understood, and are all too often ignored, which makes him rather hard to talk to. Master Ranma isn't very sensitive, but I can tell you that he can't bear to see people hurt that don't deserve it."
Kaze smiled slightly. "Especially women. Most people think he has a chauvanistic attitude, but I think he's not used to dealing with them or being around them."
Kasumi blinked again and stared at him questioningly.
Kaze allowed himself a light chuckle. "He's far past puberty, and I can tell you I've yet to see him show any physical attraction to a woman. It's odd, really."
Kaze finished making Rayden's futon, and sat down on his bedroll. "Some of his more positive qualities would be that he's very persistent, adaptive, excels in anything physical, and has the strongest sense of honor I've ever known."
Kaze rocked backward slightly as Kasumi took all of this in.
"I'm sorry, did I overwhelm you?"
Kasumi blinked. "Excuse me?"
Kaze chuckled. "I have a tendency to...... read people like that. Within a few days, I often know that person better than they know themselves."
Kasumi's smile returned to her face. "Really? Nabiki's the same way!"
Kaze shrugged. "I doubt that. You see, I do a little bit of telepathy... don't look so shocked, I don't read people's minds as a hobby."
Kasumi was still flustered, and she looked at the white priest warily. "Well, isn't that invading people's privacy?"
Kaze shook his head. "You misunderstand. Let me tell you a little of the nature of my abilities......"
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Really? You fight demons?" Nabiki munched on a cracker as Ranma related some of his abilities to her.
It really wasn't as far-fetched nowadays as it would have been just a few years ago. In the past few years there had been an increasingly large number of sightings of hideous monsters and unexplained phenomenae. In general the creatures didn't bother humans, but every couple months there was at least one story about a horrible mass murder or human remains being found in a dark alley somewhere. The military did what it could, but the creatures never stayed in one place too long, and they seemed to appear only near forests and mountains where large-scale searches were extensively difficult.

Nabiki swallowed her cracker. "Sounds like a tough job."
Rayden smirked. "Yeah, and the pay sucks. Health benefits aren't too promising either. At least there's very little paperwork involved."
"So, what, do you hunt them down and then beat the life out of them?"
Ranma looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged. "Not very often. Usually, they come after us."
Nabiki seemed to flinch at that statement, and she accidentally swallowed the next cracker whole.
*Hack* *Cough* "They *Cough* come to you?"
Ranma gave her a hard slap on the back, then nodded. "Yup. All the time. Sometimes portals just start appearing and huge groups of the things just start marching out."
Nabiki stared at him. "Really."
Ranma nodded. "Uh huh. Although we usually don't stick around then."

Nabiki opened her mouth to ask another question, when Kasumi spoke up from behind them. She seemed distracted by something.
"Ranma, if you and your friend want to take a bath, the water's ready."
Rayden got up. "Thanks. A bath would be great right about now."
Ranma nodded and followed Rayden up the stairs.

As Kasumi left down the hall, Nabiki's brow creased in thought.
'Just what are we getting ourselves into here?'
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Oh, Akane, there you are."
Akane turned from the dojo entrance to see Kasumi standing by the linen closet with an armload of towels. Akane couldn't quite be sure, but she got the impression that Kasumi was thinking about something else even as she addressed her sister.
"If you want to take a bath, the water's ready."
Akane smiled. Just what she needed to take her mind off those irritating boys.
"Thanks oneechan!" And with that she headed up the stairs.

As Akane left, Kasumi was still deep in thought.
'What a fascinating ability. It would be nice if I could sense what Nabiki and Akane are feeling sometimes. Especially Nabiki. Sometimes she just won't share her feelings and...... oh my, did I just send Akane into the bath after Ranma and his friend?'
__________________________________________________________________________________

Akane did a final check of the hallway before she slipped into the changing room. Now that there were three boys in the house, she would have to be extra careful of peeping toms.
She was so intent on watching the entrance and any possible peepholes as she undressed that she didn't even notice the large trench coat, silk Chinese outfit, or even the heavy boots that littered one side of the room.
She didn't even notice the "occupied" sign as she slipped into the bathroom.
Akane froze the moment she turned around and saw two muscular bodies waist deep in the water and staring at her.
There was a moment of silence.
Rayden turned back around and sighed as he admired the tile pattern on the wall. "Well, this is awkward."
Ranma unfroze. "What the heck are you doing in here? Didn't you see the 'occupied' sign?!"
Akane didn't say anything for a few more moments. Then her yell shook the entire house.
"PERVERTS!!!!!!!"
Ranma and Raydens' ears were so badly damaged by the scream, they missed the noise of a sink being ripped out of the wall. They were also distracted enough not to notice the wrathful figure, outlined in a glowing halo of red, descending on them with her porcelain weapon.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Kasumi surveyed the scene before her with no small amount of guilt.
"Oh my."
"You said it sis." Nabiki said dryly.
Before them was the bathroom, or more accurately, what was left of the bathroom.
Akane was wrapping a towel around herself, breathing heavily from the exertion of beating two extremely powerful males into unconsciousness.
The sink was currently in three pieces, all of which resided in the furo, which was being drained of its water via a large tear made by Rayden's body having been smashed repeatedly against the furo wall.
Ranma's head had been neatly implanted into the tile wall by a well-placed sink attack, and all along his back there were indentations that looked to be made from pipes.

Kaze looked into the bathroom, and his jaw went slack at the sight of such massive destruction.
"By the Lord Teroshia! Who, no, what did this? What kind of horrid creature could possibly muster such strength?"
Akane glared at him angrily. "Shut up! They had it coming!"
Kaze blinked. "YOU did this? Are you even remotely aware of the force necessary to knock out those two?"
Akane just huffed as she gathered her clothes and left for her room.
"Well that's what they get for peeping! The stupid perverts can just drown for all I care!"
The door slammed shut, and Kaze spared a glance at Kasumi.
"She's rather tempermental, isn't she?"
Kasumi bowed. "I'm sorry. It was really my fault. If I hadn't-"
Kaze waved her apology away as approached Rayden and picked up his head out of the puddle on the floor.
"Nonsense. You mustn't apologize for the misdeeds of others. You may have sparked a conflict, but your sister chose to take out her aggression on my companions. There is none of your fault in that."

Nabiki flinched. She wasn't sure what it was, but for some reason the priest really creeped her out.
Maybe it was the way he looked at people, as if he could always tell exactly what they're feeling. Maybe it was the way he talked, like some kind of high-and-mighty mystic.
Maybe it was that weird glow he emitted while he healed up Ranma and Rayden.
Nabiki's eyes bugged out slightly as she watched bruises and cuts disappear instantly to leave only healthy, undamaged flesh (VERY healthy, in fact. She was quite dissapointed that her view below Ranma's waist was effectively blocked).
"So... Toren... you're a healer, eh?"
Kaze frowned as he felt the middle daughter's emotions shift from nervousness to greed.
"Ouch. What hit me?"
"An 80-pound chunk of porcelain going at approximately 192 miles per hour," Kaze replied, keeping a completely straight face.
Rayden blinked. "Well, excuse me for asking."
Ranma shook his head as he regained consciousness. "Geez, talk about uncute......"
Kasumi bowed again in apology. "I'm sorry, I forgot you were in here and I told Akane the bath was ready."
Nabiki patted Kaze on the back, a calculating gleam in her eyes. "So, have you ever considered going into medicine?"
Kaze put a hand to his head, and then called out to everyone in the room.
"Please! I think this has been a hard day on everyone! For now, we should rest. Masters, here are some towels. Ladies, if you wouldn't mind?"

Ranma toweled himself off once the girls had gone, though Nabiki had to be physically pushed out of the bathroom.
'Man, I have a feeling that life is going to get much more complicated from now on.'

Ranma never would figure out just how right he was.
__________________________________________________________________________________

The night was quiet, as it usually was whenever one got more than 4 miles from the Moroboshi house and the Kuno mansion. But that suited the police officers just fine. The more boring their job was, the less paperwork they'd have to deal with later.
Some people speculated that Nerima had no police force. This was false. However, officers were always encouraged to avoid certain "danger zones" around the area. Hey, some of these people had families.

One of them sipped his coffee as he turned the corner, the headlights of the car casting deep shadows along the roads and sidewalks.
His partner spotted another car up ahead, and pointed out how it was swerving all across the road.
"Great. Another drunk driver. Why can't these people just lay off the sake when they know they have to drive home?"
The driver turned on the siren, signalling the drunk to pull over.

The man in the other car noticed, and the car started to slow down as it headed toward the sidewalk.
Then, out of nowhere, a great blue sphere eangulfed the hood of the car, rending the engine and sending arcs of electricity all along the outer frame.
"What the hell........." Both the officers could only stare in amazement and no small amount of fear as a large, blocky shape stepped out of the sphere and onto the roof, crushing the entire thing inward.
The driver of the police car hit the brakes and was about to turn around when the same blue light flashed in front of the car, expanding quickly and disappearing just as fast.
The hood caved in immediately, and the windshield followed, showering the car's occupants with shards of glass.
The passenger in the car slipped his hand to his gun, despite his hand quivering so strongly that he could barely hold it.
He raised the hand that was protecting his face from the glass, ony to find something blocking his view of anything beyond what used to be the hood of the car.
That "something" slowly turned around, looming up over the two humans.
The police officer tried to move his arm to shoot at the creature, but found that he was thouroughly paralyzed through sheer terror.
A single, yellow, vertically slit eye stared down at them in the darkness.
Nobody heard their screams.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Oh, good morning Ranma."
Ranma returned Kasumi's smile as he haphazardly dragged Rayden across the floor. "Morning Kasumi."
Kasumi blinked and looked down at the swordsman, to realize that he was still asleep, even as he impacted objects on his way outside.
Ranma saw Kasumi's questioning gaze and shrugged. "Well, Ray never gets up early himself, so I usually have to wake him up for practice."
Kasumi nodded as Ranma dragged the larger man down the stairs, his head hitting each step as he went down.
"He must be a deep sleeper."
Ranma rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't believe it. This gets harder every day."
Kasumi gave him another smile before leaving to prepare breakfast.

Nabiki groaned mightily as the incessant buzzing of her alarm clock marked the beginning of new day of profits and possibilities. Had she had a more optomistic outlook on life, she may have seen it that way, but since she didn't, and since Kasumi hadn't called them down for breakfast yet, Nabiki proceeded to knock the annoying device away from her nightstand and away from its power supply.
Then, with her mission accomplished, she snuggled back into her deep, feathery pillows and pulled the blankets over her shoulders, relishing in the warmth and comfort of rest.

Three... two... one...

*Splash!* *BOOM!!*
Nabiki fell out of her bed as an explosion rocked the house's foundation. Quickly getting up to see what was going on, she opened her window and stuck her head outside.
*Splat*
A wet, slimy object going at approximately 45 kmph collided with a stationary, irritable object, sending the latter object reeling backward and back into her room.
Thrashing about wildly, Nabiki finally managed to knock the object away from her so that she could see what it was.
A koi. There, thrashing around as wildly as she had been, though for a much different and more desperate reason, was a large, golden koi.
Angrily approaching the window once more, Nabiki looked down into the backyard to see a large crater where the koi pond used to be, and Rayden and Ranma in a heated argument.

"What's the big idea of dropping me in the koi pond anyway? You couldn't think of a better way to wake me up in the morning?!"
"NO!!! You sleep like a rock! I don't know how many times I've told you that! And whether or not you were surprised, how was throwing a ki blast even an option?"
"I told you! It was reflex! When I'm sleeping one moment and then dunked in freezing cold water the next, I get surprised!"
"And so you just pump out an Iczer beam? How reckless is that?"
"Excuse me? Boys?" a deceptively sweet voice rang out from above, diverting their attention away from their argument.
"It's currently 6:15 AM. Like Shikodan there, I like to sleep in when I can. So could you tone it down a bit before I have to make your lives miserable?"
Down below, the two fighters sweatdropped as they wondered exactly how Nabiki would do that.
"Uh, alright, sure. Sorry." Ranma said, unsure of himself.
"Thanks." Nabiki smiled. Neither of the boys could say exactly why they felt so relieved.

Just as she was about to drop back into her mattress, a familiar voice rang out. "Breakfast is ready!"
Cursing her miserable luck, Nabiki put on a shirt and some shorts, then exited her room only to be bowled over by Genma, who was on his way to the table.
Once again cursing her luck (and her houseguests), she wearily descended the stairs and scanned the room.
Ranma, Rayden, and Genma were all eating like it was their first meal in weeks, while Kaze had a small cup of tea and some miso soup.
'Great. Three of them are healthy eaters. We'll be bankrupt in a month.'
Nabiki took a seat at the end of the table just as Akane came back from her jog.
Akane looked at the quantities of food being devoured and frowned. "When was the last time you guys ate?"
"Yesterday," Ranma answered without slowing down.
'Sheesh. He's not just a pervert, he's a pig too.'
Akane sat down next to her sister and started to serve herself.
"Oh, Mr. Saotome! Your panda's gone!" Everyone shifted their attention to Genma at the sound of Kasumi's voice, and the portly martial artist chuckled nervously.
"Mph? *Gulp* Panda? What panda? I have no idea what you're talking about!" Genma nudged Kaze meaningfully, and the priest sighed deeply.
"Later, alright?"
Genma nodded happily as everyone else stared. Then they all shrugged at once and went back to eating.

After the Tendos and Kaze were done eating, and Ranma and Rayden were on their 7th servings, Genma put down his chopsticks and snapped his fingers.
"That reminds me! Today you're starting school, boy!"
Ranma groaned as he put down his chopsticks and turned to his father, not noticing as Rayden stole his remaining food.
"School? Already? We just got here!"
Genma wagged a finger at him. "No complaints! Besides, it'll give you time to get to know...... er, which one is your fiancee again?"
Kasumi, Nabiki, and Akane all flinched at the statement, and Soun had a thoughtful expression. Before anyone could comment, however, Kaze stood up and spoke.
"Master Saotome will not be going to school today. He'll join me and Master Shikodan in patrolling the area."
Rayden's plate hit the table. "All right! Lemme get my sword!"
As Rayden left, Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "'Patrol'? You can't be serious. No principal is going to believe that one."
Genma slipped into his "authoritive parent" voice. "Boy, you'll go to school like your fiancee and-"
Before he could continue, Kaze closed his eyes and concentrated briefly. Genma froze stiff, then slowly relaxed.
"On second thought boy, making sure there are no demons around is more important. Go with your friends."
Nabiki's eyes were suddenly glued to Kaze in disbelief. 'How did he do that?'
"Thanks Pop! See ya!" Ranma rushed out of the room, followed by the white priest. The sound of a window opening upstairs was heard.
"Interesting..." Nabiki narrowed her eyes as a plan formed.
Akane just shook her head. "If you ask me, all three of them are total weirdos."
"Saotome, are you sure that you should have let your son go like that?"
Genma shuddered. "Trust me Tendo, it's better than the alternative. Much better."
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Well, well, well. Looks like we gots a major infestashun," Rayden said in a bad imitation of an American southerner.
The wicked looking little creature hissed at him ferociously, rearing up on its back legs and lashing out with its oversized claws.
It was about a foot long, with razor sharp blade-like claws on each of its four legs. Its dark brown skin was stretched so tightly around its bones that the creature looked almost skeletal, its glowing red eyes illuminating the dark alley that the humans were intruding.
In one quick motion Rayden grabbed it, holding the thing up by its neck and holding it out at arm's length so that its claws would be rendered useless.
Kaze and Ranma observed the creature closely, just out of reach of its thrashing.

"I'd say it's just a scavenger. Too small to be a man-eater. Probably couldn't even kill a guy by itself." Ranma poked the thing in the stomach, moving his hand in and out of the monster's wild swings.
Kaze nodded. "Yes, these in themselves are nothing to worry about, though their presence means that there's probably others around. And not all of them are necessarily scavengers......"
Ranma nodded. "Good point."
Rayden shrugged and squeezed the creature's neck, snapping its spine and killing it instantly.
The second its lifeless body hit the ground, it was immediately pounced on by three more of the little monsters, who quickly ripped to shreds and started scraping the bones with their sharp teeth.
Rayden looked disgusted. "I think I'm gonna be sick."
Ranma shook his head as he casually threw an energy blast into the alley, disentigrating the demons.
"Me too. You wanna go get something to eat?"
Rayden's demeanor changed instantly. "Always."
Kaze sweatdropped before shrugging and following them to the nearest restaraunt.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Yuka, turn right! No! Right!" Sayuri yelled into her friends ear as the brown haired girl frantically tried to control her aerofighter, only to get hit by an spinning oval burst of gunfire and explode, marking the end of both the game and a week's allowance.
Yuka glared at her friend as the oversized "game over" heading flashed on the screen. "I did turn right."
Sayuri blushed a bit and scratched the back of her head. "Heh heh. I, uh, meant left."
Yuka sighed and rooted around in her pockets before locating an old bottle cap and a button.
"Well, I'm out of money. You want to leave before Moroboshi shows up and starts groping people?"
Sayuri scanned the arcade as she responded. "No, I have some money left from that bet I won on one of Kuno's fights. Let's go get something to eat...... Wait!"
Yuka was suddenly stopped by a hand holding her shoulder. "What?"
Sayuri pointed at the entrance of the building. "Is that the cutest guy you've ever seen or what? Look!"
Yuka looked where her friend was pointing, and her heart skipped a beat. He had to have been the most handsome guy she'd ever seen outside of a movie or concert. He was muscular and tall, with raven black hair and a pigtail that just seemed to make him even better looking. It took her a while to realize that Sayuri was already advancing.

Sayuri felt herself being yanked backward suddenly, and realized that Yuka was glaring at her again.
"Something wrong?"
"Aren't you going steady with Kiro right now? I mean, don't you have a date with him
tonight?"
Sayuri thought about it for a moment. "Kiro... Kiro... oh! That Kiro! Uh, yeah, I guess so."
Yuka sweatdropped. Sayuri rolled her eyes.
"Well, if you want him, then go ahead and ask him out already!"
Yuka yelped as she was suddenly shoved forward. Shooting her companion a questioning glance, she hardened her resolve and approached the newcomer.

Ranma looked around the room and took in the sound of hundreds of machines making electronic noises. He had never been to an arcade before, so had taken the opportunity to look at one when Kaze found a store full of old trinkets and books.
Locating a game about martial arts called "Street Fighter II", he put a coin into the machine and selected a character.

Yuka stood by Ranma for a few moments, unable to think of what to say.
'Hey, have I seen you around before? No, too cliche. What's a cutie like you doing in a place like this? No, too forward.'
"Shoot! How come he can throw fireballs but I can't?"
Then, before she knew what she was doing, Yuka blurted out, "You have to do a quarter turn forward with the joystick first."
Ranma's head whirled around to face her, suddenly aware of her presence. Then, in a burst of intellectual stimulation, he formed his reply.
"Huh?"
Yuka blushed, really wishing she could have started out the conversation with something other than video games. Then again, they were in an arcade.
Seeing Ranma's character about to get decked again, Yuka came to the rescue, gently taking the joystick in order to salvage the newcomer's money. Ranma quickly stepped back, choosing to observe a more experienced player's technique.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Kaze and Rayden stepped out of the old mustard yellow building, the former holding an old ornamental shrine, and the latter looking as if he had just escaped from an eight-hour lecture on pond algae.
"Kami, what huge waste of time! It swear, it smelled like vasoline in there! I expected the whole thing to go up in flames just from the lights! And why would anyone need a whole wall of red candles?"
Kaze wisely ignored his companion's complaints, well aware that the larger man didn't share his interest in the antiqueated or mystical. Rayden preferred things you could crush or blow up without consequence.

Rayden was concentrating so much on his ranting of how boring the store was, he didn't notice the lady carrying groceries until she walked into the side of him, his wide frame nudging one of the bags from her grasp.
With reflexed born of countless beatings at Ranma's hand (of which Genma laughingly called "sparring sessions), Rayden dove for the package, managing to save the groceries and bang his head on the pavement at the same time.
The lady, a striking woman in her forties with short reddish brown hair, tried to steady herself, and would have fallen had Kaze not helped her regain her balance first.
The woman turned a grateful smile toward the priest. "Thank you young man. I'm sorry for bumping into you."
She had to back up slightly as Rayden suddenly rose up from the ground, holding her other package in one hand.
"Actually it was me you bumped into. Sorry 'bout that. Here's your stuff."
She offered an apology and quickly bowed, before scooping up her other bag. With that she thanked the two young men, and started on her way home.
"Master Shikodan, we should return and get Master Saotome quickly. We have more area we should cover."
Rayden nodded, and was about to follow Kaze, when the woman's voice rang out behind him.
"Excuse me... did you say 'Saotome'?"
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Wow, you're pretty good at this." 'I wonder what else he'd be good at...?' Yuka blushed at the thought as Ranma massacred his opponent.
Ranma smiled slightly at the compliment as he wasted his eighth foe for the last ten mintues. It was awkward at first, fighting an enemy with a joystick and buttons, but Ranma was if anything a fast learner.
"Thanks for teaching me. This is my first time playing one of these."
Yuka put on her cutest smile and batted her eyelashes at him. "Really? Where are you from?"
For the life of him, Ranma couldn't understand his sudden urge to bolt for the nearest exit. "Uh, I'm actually from around here, but I've been travelling most of my life."
"Oh wow!" Yuka gushed, "Living your life on the road! How romantic!"
Ranma blinked, then sweatdropped. "Er, yeah, I guess so."
"Hey Ranma!"

Ranma turned at the sound of Rayden's voice, but didn't even make eye contact before he was tackled by something and scooped up in a crushing hug. Struggling for air, Ranma's first conclusion was that Rayden was trying out one of his new attacks on him.
Then the person released and then stepped back to look at him. That person was a woman. Blows that theory straight to hell.

"Who-" Ranma began.
"Ranma! It's me! Nodoka! You're mother!" She beamed at him, smiling the world's brightest smile.
Ranma's brain desperately tried to get his mouth working. "M-M-Mom?"
Nodoka Saotome looked over her son, her face growing brighter every second. Oh, how handsome he'd become!
Yuka tapped Kaze on the shoulder. "Is this a bad time?"
Kaze nodded. "This is a bit of a family affair. It would be prudent for us to leave them be for a while."
Nodoka hugged Ranma again, letting her tears flow freely. "Oh, my son! You've grown up to be so handsome!"
Ranma sweatdropped, as did Rayden. Yuka giggled.
Nodoka somehow managed to detect the noise, and her head snapped to attention. Then she was hugging Ranma again. "And you're picking up girls!"
A second sweatdrop joined the first one on Ranma's head. Yuka blushed, wondering if Ranma was really trying to pick her up.
Rayden looked impressed. "Wow, first day, and you're already scoping out women? You do move fast don't you?"
Ranma waved his arms around in a striking imitation of someone trying to fly away under their own power. "No! It's not like that! We just met, and-"
"Oh, there's no need to be shy about it," Nodoka turned to the girl and smiled broadly, "forgive me for not getting acquainted earlier. I'm Ranma's mother Nodoka, and you are?"
Yuka smiled and bowed to the older lady. Had to make a good impression, after all. "Yuka Shiranui. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Saotome."
Nodoka's smile widened, if that was possible. "Call me Mom."
*Thud*
"I think Ranma just fainted," Rayden announced.
If Nodoka noticed or cared, she didn't show it. "So Yuka, why don't you come eat dinner over our house today, as a way of saying thanks for showing my son a good time?"
Rayden slapped Ranma's face repeatedly. "Snap out of it, man!"
Yuka bigsweated. Even if Ranma was cute, his mother was trying to move things along a little too fast for her taste. "That's okay, I really can't tonight. Maybe some other time." Taking out a slip of paper and a pen, Yuka wrote down her phone number and address and gave it to the elder Saotome. "When your son wakes up, please give him this and tell him to call me, okay? Thanks!"
Nodoka sighed and smiled as the girl left to tell her friend all about her encounter. "What a nice girl. Ah, to be young and in love again."
"Clear!" *BLAM!!*
"Ow! What'dya do that for, idiot?!"
"I believe master Shikodan was attempting CPR. And failing, I might add."
"I'll show you CPR!" *Bam!* *Thwack!* *Pow!*
"Ow! Damn it, you ungrateful little..."

"Excuse, me, boys?"
Ranma and Rayden immediately stopped fighting, with Rayden over Ranma grasping his shirt while Ranma was on his back with his foot caving in Rayden's throat.
"Uh, yes?" Ranma inquired.
Nodoka smiled at them like the sight was nothing out of the ordinary. "Why don't we come back to my house and get reaquainted. I'd love to hear about your training trip. Your friends can come too."
Kaze bowed to her. "It would be our pleasure, Mistress Saotome. Master Shikodan, if you would help me with the bags..."
Nodoka turned toward Ranma. "Is he always this formal?"
Ranma nodded as he kicked Rayden off so the swordsman could help with the groceries. "Yeah, you should hear him when he's around people he actually looks up to. It's sickening."

The foursome left the game room, and were on there way to the outskirts of Juuban, Nodoka happily chatting with her son, and Rayden grumbling about being used (and thought of) as a pack mule. Not that he really minded the weight, but it was the principle of the thing.
"So Ranma, where is your father?"
"Oh, he's at some friend's place. We stayed there too, last night. He'll be fine where he is." Ranma answered off-handedly.
"Oh." Nodoka figured it was for the best if he stayed put for a night; though she really wanted to see him again, Nodoka was far more interested in getting reacquainted with her son.
"So, have you met any nice young ladies on your trip?" Nodoka asked with a sly smile. Why, with her son being as manly as he was, how could he but attract women left and right?
Ranma gulped at the question and tried not to think too hard about the incident back at the arcade. "Uh, well, not really..."
Nodoka frowned slighty until Rayden gave Ranma a light punch on the shoulder.
"Whaddya mean? You haven't already forgotten Shampoo, have you? She was all over you like-WAUGH!!" the rest of his statement was lost as Ranma's foot sweep sent the larger man tumbling to the ground, just barely keeping the packages he was holding from getting smashed.
Ranma glared at him as the swordsman tried to get up and balance his load at the same time. "Rayden, try not to be so clumsy, you might accidentally break something."
Nodoka either didn't notice Ranma's attack or ignored it. "So, who's this... Shampoo?"
Rayden grinned, eager to get back at Ranma in any way possible. "She's this real pretty girl from China. Ranma beat her in combat, so according to tribal law, they're married."
Nodoka raised an eyebrow at the "married" part. This really wouldn't do, her son was far too young to settle down with a single girl now.
"Of course, I hear a good number of other women from the same village wouldn't mind getting their hands on him either. Oh, and didn't we mention that the 'friend' that Mr. Saotome's stayin' with wants to engage Ranma to one of his three daughters? I think two of them are real interested too!"
Rayden gave Ranma a wink. Ranma felt like banging his head on the wall. Not that Nodoka was angry; far from it, her eyes were shining like she had just won the lottery, but he had a very bad feeling about this.
Ranma was interrupted from his premonitions of doom when Rayden grabbed his shoulder and shook him slightly.
"Yup, you've got a real lady-killer here, ma'am!"
Ranma laughed nervously before whispering in Rayden's ear, "You are so dead."
Kaze's voice seemed to emanate from nowhere; Nodoka had forgotten that he was even there. "Yes, it would seem that Master Saotome is quite popular among the women. Why even when he was much younger, several of the girls at the temple were quite enamored with him, especially after he beat Master Shikodan so easily."
Rayden groaned at the memory of being beaten into the ground for the first time. Ranma gave Kaze a look that seemed to say "You too?".
"Well then, it's only natural for girls to be attracted to someone as manly as you, my son. Here's my house here, you can tell me all about it inside. Oh, and what do you think about that girl Yuka? She's very pretty, isn't she?"
__________________________________________________________________________________

While Ranma was enduring humiliation and embarrassment the likes of which he had never known, another about Ranma's age, who's lot in life seemed to be enduring humiliation and embarrassment (he was darn good at it too), was heading toward his favorite place.
Well, his favorite place of which he was actually allowed. He'd much rather be in Furinkan's girls' locker room, or in some girl's bedroom, than at his Aunt Nodoka's house, but he wasn't exactly welcome in those places, and for good reason.
But Ataru Moroboshi was always welcome at the Saotome estate. It was one of the very few places he was welcome, actually, as even his own parents usually seemed to resent his presence, especially of late.
It wasn't his fault though. Really. It was those damn aliens. Besides, Nodoka's cooking was sooooo good!
Lum sighed and tried to keep on her smile as she floated above her beloved who was whistling to himself.
It wasn't that she didn't like Auntie Saotome, she was really nice, and anything that occupied Ataru's time and kept him from girl-chasing certainly couldn't be that bad. But still, it was galling the way Nodoka tended to encourage Ataru's...... less appealing habits (best known as his way of life). How she could approve of his "aggressive" flirting, wanting to date several women, and peeping were beyond her, and it was a real pain having to deal with the ego boost she gave him.
Lum shook her head, then jerked back in midair as a sudden, bright flash of light lit up backyard of the Saotome home.
"H-hey, d-did you see that?" Ataru briefly thought about running away, but then thought the better of it. If it was dangerous it would manage to track him down sooner or later, even if it wasn't looking for him at all.
"Auntie Saotome!" Lum streaked toward the gate leading to the backyard of the Saotome estate, Ataru following as quickly as he could.

What they found upon passing the gates were far from what either of them expected.
Of course, this was Nerima, and the "expected" was a fairly blurred concept. Still, it was weird even for them.

Rayden streaked toward his target at speeds that most cars never reach, stabbing his sword forward in two small arcs to either side, the air current carrying the sting and cutting power of the blade long after it was no longer present.
Ranma gave the situation but a nanosecond of thought before he leapt up to meet the swordsman, planting his foot in his chest, squarely between the two deadly spikes of air. Bringing his other foot up to connect with his opponents chin, Ranma fell backwards onto the ground, Rayden's retalitory slash missing his shoulder by mere inches, and still barely slicing flesh.
Digging his other shoulder into the ground, Ranma let his opponent's momentum place himself right in position on the soles on his feet, and kicked upward, hurtling Rayden into one of the large trees that dotted the large house's backyard.
*Crunch* *SNAP!!*
Ranma got up and winced as he dusted himself off. There really wasn't much of the tree left. Rayden really ought to learn how to fall better.

After he was done gaping at the six-foot tall guy in a trench coat slamming into a tree and reducing it to splinters, Ataru quickly scanned the area and found Nodoka sitting on the porch drinking tea with another guy with white hair and some kind of weird robes, like the kind Sakura wore. She only barely seemed concered with the fight, and was happily chatting with her guest.
Tired of being left out of the loop, Ataru trudged over to Nodoka. He quickly got her attention, and when she gave him a look that asked if anything was wrong, he jabbed his thumb in the general direction of the two fighters.
Nodoka smiled as Lum floated up next to Ataru. "I'll explain in a moment. Kaze, can you stop them please?"
Kaze nodded before giving the two newcomers a questioning glance. The boy was a rather seedy looking character with messy brown hair and wearing a plain green sweatshirt with blue jeans. The one that worried him, however, was the rather buxom, green-haired young woman wearing a tiger skin bikini and possessing what appeared to be a pair of little yellow horns sticking out of her head.
'Definitely a demon of some sort. Though she doesn't appear to hide it, and nobody's screaming, so she's probably not hostile. I should warn the Masters to keep an eye on her though.' "Master Shikodan! Master Saotome! I believe lunch is ready!"

Ranma seemed to melt away from the blade as it weaved in and out of his guard, never managing to quite touch him, yet always seeming to get so close. There wasn't even really a point to it really. Both the combatants knew who was the better fighter, and the winner had been the same in every fight save one (Ranma still claimed the match was a fluke, though Rayden paid for the win a thousand times over the very next day).
Somewhere, in the deep recesses of his mind, Ranma suddenly registered the word "lunch".
Giving a quick kick to his attacker's face, Ranma used Rayden's head as a springboard, launching himself over his stunned opponent and towards his meal. Upon actually reaching the table, however, Ranma noted the absence of anything but tea and also noted the two new guests.
Nodoka smiled and got up. "Ranma, you did wonderfully. I'm glad to see your father hasn't wasted his time in your training. I'd like to introduce you to your cousin, Ataru."
Ranma blinked, and then looked at the guy she was referring to. This was his cousin? Thin, built like a spider actually, with a less-than-adorable face and an incredibly loose stance that indicated a total lack of any combat training. Not a thing like him.
Ranma shrugged. Oh well, a relative's a relative.
Ranma bowed. "Ranma Saotome. Nice ta' meetcha."
Ataru nodded, but didn't make any effort to return the bow. "Ataru Moroboshi. Same to you, pal."
"Saotome? You must be Auntie's son! She's told us so much about you!"
Ranma looked up at the voluptious girl floating in midair. Weird.
Nodoka coughed into her hand to gain everyone's attention, including Rayden's, who was currently scouring the table in search of food.
"Ataru, Lum, these are Ranma's friends, Kaze Toren and Rayden Shikodan." The white priest stood up and bowed, while Rayden gave a quick wave as he opened the box next to the table, to find only teacups. "Kaze, Rayden, this is Ataru Moroboshi, Ranma's cousin and my nephew, and his wife, Lum."
Kaze raised an eyebrow. Rayden's head shot up from where he was digging in the tea basket. How did a guy that looked like that land a babe like her? 'He must be the sweet, sensitive type.' After the initial shock wore off, his brain quickly directed its energies toward more important matters, like the search for food.
Ranma blinked. "Wife?"
Ataru groaned. "It's a long story. And she's not my wife!"
Lum giggled and hugged Ataru from behind. "Oh Darling, you're so cute when you play hard to get!"
Ranma blinked again and started having Shampoo flashbacks.
"Yo Kaze, where's the grub?" Rayden had tired of searching for nothing.
Nodoka smiled again and got up. "I'll go make some snacks. Why don't you get to know each other?"
And with that she left for the kitchen, leaving the small group to stare at each other in silence.

After what seemed like hours, Ataru decided to break the proverbial ice.
"So, did you do that?" Ataru gestured toward the yard, or more specifically towards the splintered tree stump and 30-foot-wide crater.
Ranma nodded. "Yup. Well, Rayden did most of it. I just helped." Ranma smirked as the swordsman started grumbling to himself and rubbed the sore spot where his neck had impacted the tree.
Ranma turned back to Ataru. "We've spent most of our lives on the road training in martial arts."
"Cool! Like Karate and stuff?"
Rayden chuckled. "Yeah... 'and stuff'."
Ataru grinned. "So, you meet any hot babes on the road?"
Ranma looked at him like he had grown another head. After a 2 hour discussion about his love life with his mother, the last thing he wanted to talk about now was girls.
"Darlingggggg..." Lum growled.
Ataru immediately backed away and waved his arms in front of himself. "Just making conversation! Male bonding! That's all!"
Rayden stood up and headed for the stairs. "Yeah, well, you guys stay here and bond, I'm gonna go find some food."
Kaze didn't look up from sipping his tea as he spoke. "Life on the road offered few chances to associate with others. We made very few acquaintances, and even fewer were of the fairer sex."
Ataru deflated instantly the moment his mind finished its translation.
Kaze looked up to Lum with obvious interest, though it wasn't one of the lecherous stares that she had grown accustomed to. "So, Mistress Lum, would it be presumptious of me to assume that you are not human?"
Lum blinked, then giggled. "No, I'm not human, I'm an oni!"
It was Kaze's turn to blink. "An ogre?"
Lum smiled, then tapped her horns.
Ranma watched all this with partial interest. He really didn't care whether Lum was human or not, so long as she didn't go around town devouring or torturing people, but at the moment it was the most interesting topic there was.
That was, of course, until the smell of food reached him. Ranma's head swivled around to see Rayden walk into the room, balancing several trays of food in both hands, his shoulders, and his head.
"All right! Let's eat!" Ranma snatched one of the trays away and started shoveling it down, much to Nodoka's annoyance. Lum was amazed. She didn't think anyone could possibly have worse table manners than Ataru.
"Ranma! Mind your manners! We have guests! Honestly, I've never seen anyone eat like that!"
The second Ranma turned around to regard his mother, there was a blur of motion, and one of his sandwiches disappeared.
"Hey! Rayden, you give that back!" Ranma yelled, even though the sandwich had already been hastily devoured.
"You slow, you blow! Take it like a man! HEY!!" Rayden rushed to defend his plate as a rice ball seemed to vanish into thin air.

The others in the room watched in silence as the two battled for dominance and nourishment, despite several untouched platters in the center of the table. Ataru looked on with amazement and newfound admiration, Lum with wonder, Kaze with indifference and Nodoka with disbelief and no small amount of disgust.
"A-are they always like this?" Nodoka's left eye twitched as a small beef dish flew into the air, only barely intercepted by Ranma before it hit the wall.
Kaze nodded solemnly. "Yes. Mr. Saotome was never put much importance into such things as table manners."
Ataru was still impressed. "Wow! Look! You can't even see Ranma swallow, he does it so fast!"
In moments, all the food on Ranma and Rayden's side of the table was gone, and the eating contest had degenerated into a wrestling match, with Rayden attempting to strangle Ranma as he was repeatedly punched in the head and chest.
Nodoka would have none of it, though. "*AHEM* If you two are finished......"
Both of the combatants stopped immediately, getting the sense that they had done something terribly wrong, but weren't quite sure what it was.
Ataru quickly recognized the look she Nodoka was getting in her eyes and reacted accordingly. "Whoops! Look at the time! Sorry to eat and run, but Mom gets angry if I'm out past 7. See ya!" 'Losers,' he added mentally.
Lum seemed confused. "But Darling, it's only 5 o'clock. Hey, wait!"
Lum quickly took off after her psuedo-husband, leaving three rather baffled young men, and, well... Nodoka.
Fingering an long, thin bundle that none of them had noticed before, Nodoka spoke in a voice as sweet as sugar. "Now son, let's have a little talk about your table manners, shall we?"
__________________________________________________________________________________

"That woman is creepy when she wants to be." Rayden's assessment was responded to by a punch to the back of the head, courtesy of Ranma.
"Hey, shut up! That's my Mom! Why didn't you make a break for it, anyway?"
Rayden shuddered. "Are you kidding? With the way she was holding that, that, that...... whatever it was? I couldn't move!"
"It was probably a katana, or similar weapon." Kaze spoke with a tinge of distress in his voice. Even though he had not been involved in the earlier conversation, he still felt chills down his spine.
"Well... whatever. Let's just get back to the dojo before dinner." Ranma licked his lips in anticipation. From what he had heard, Kasumi was quite the cook.
"So... about the dojo... what're you gonna do about the whole engagement thing?" Rayden gave Ranma a sidelong glance, careful not to reveal the amusement of seeing his friend so uncomfortable.
Ranma scratched the back of his head and sighed. "I dunno. I just think the whole thing is a totally stupid idea. But I've got that whole 'family honor' business goin' against me, so I guess I hafta marry one of them."
Rayden snorted. "Feh. Honor is just a word somebody made up to get his opponents to play on his level. 'Don't hit an enemy when he's down.' 'Don't attack from behind.' It's all a bunch of nonsense."
Ranma looked about ready to argue the point, but then he stopped and thought about it.
That was when Kaze broke in. "While I do not entirely agree with Master Shikodan, he does have a point. The rest of that is all well and good, but I do not approve of a concept that would force you into a marriage."
Now Ranma HAD to back down. One saying that him and Rayden had always held between them was "Kaze's word is law," seeing how neither of them could ever seem to offer an argument against him. While Rayden attributed this solely to his psychic powers, Ranma assumed it was part of the whole "greater understanding" deal that came with being an enlightened servant of the Gods and everything.
"Okay, fine, but how do I go about dropping the whole thing? I can't just go in there and say 'I'm not going to marry your daughters. Sorry. Nothing personal.' I have a feeling that this is more important to Pop than that."
Kaze chuckled lightly. "Well, of course you'd have to use more tact than that. But we'll deal with such things-!!!!" Kaze's head shot up suddenly, and he stopped walking.

"Wha? Kaze? You all right?" Ranma started looking around, trying to see what had caused him to freeze.
Kaze closed his eyes and concentrated. "There are two powerful energies nearby. They... they're of the same type as that demon that attacked us in China..."
Rayden growled and unsheathed his sword. "All right, where are they?"
"Over there! Look out!" Ranma jumped out of the way just as an energy blast shot through the stone wall next to him, barely singing him and slamming directly into Rayden.
There was a mechanical hiss of air and a grinding noise as their attackers stepped through the rubble. What Ranma saw first was just weird.
It was essentially a huge brown furry blob, with two white patches near the top that seemed to be the eyes. What was really odd though, was that the entire thing had been strung through with metal wires and tubes, and where most creatures had arms and legs, it had the mechanical equivalent of such.
The second was more of a "traditional" demon. It was even bigger than the last, and seemed to have muscle flowing over ever inch of its yellow body. Instead of legs, it had a single snake-like tail that kept it upright. Its hands had three fingers with long, curved claws. The head had a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth, and it had three eyes, all stacked on top of each other up to its forehead. the first two were black and horizontal, like a human's but without an iris, while the top one was slitted vertically and held a pupil that was bright yellow.

Rayden recovered from the attack and caught a glimpse of their opponents. "Damn, you're ugly!"
The cybernetic monster advanced a few feet, then a gravelly voice emanated from a tiny metal speaker just below the creature's eyes. "Targets identified: Kaze Toren. Rayden Shikodan. Secondary target Ranma Saotome also present."
"Hey, what makes me a secondary target?" Ranma complained.
"Question is illogical, so it will be ignored. I am Rotor. My companion is Bit. We have come to destroy those that defeated Rail."
Rayden crouched low. "Easier said than done, rust-bucket. What makes you think that you can beat us when your friend got thrashed so easily?"
"Analasys complete: we regenerate in the same manner as Rail. There are no magical springs to pose a threat to us here."
Rayden sweatdropped. "Okay, that's pretty good."
Ranma growled. If these things were invincible, then this was going to be tough. "Enough talking! Let's get on with this!"
Rotor lifted one of his arms, and the various blades and pipes rearranged themselves to form some kind of gun. "Your offer is acceptable. You will be terminated." The cybernetic monster raised its arm and fired.
Bit slammed his fists together and gave an excited yell. "Rashkara yuta! RAAARRRGH!!!"
Ranma easily avoided the blast, and watched as the other demon charged Rayden, knocking the swordsman backward and through a wall on the opposite side of the street.
"Master Saotome! Hold them off for a few moments, please!" Ranma nodded at Kaze's request, and charged Rotor the moment he touched the ground again. Rotor fired again, and this time Ranma slid under the beam as he approached his target. Forcing himself up with one hand, Ranma kicked upward, sending the demon sprawling as he completed a backflip to right himself. Not giving the creature time to recover, or regenerate, Ranma closed in with his fists, hitting Rotor several times in quick succesion with one hand before following up with a glowing ki-powered uppercut with his other. There was a *crack* as several metal objects inside the creature shattered from the force, and Rotor seemed to collapse in on himself, almost deflating, as he lay there next to the shattered remains of the wall he had attacked from.
"Well, I better go see how Ray's doing." Ranma was about to leave to help his friend, when there was the crackle of electricity behind him. His left eye twitching slightly, Ranma turned around, to see Rotor's twin hydraulic legs hefting up his impressive bulk.
"Would it be too much to ask that you stay dead? This is really starting to annoy me."
"Question is illogical. It will be ignored." Rotor thrust out his other hand, and the multiple blades and hinges started to take the shape of something halfway between a claw and a sawblade.
It attacked. Ranma ducked, then crossed his arms in front of him. "Wasp's flying blade strike!"

*Crash!* The stone and plaster crumbled easily before Rayden's body as he slammed into the building at high speed.
"Ow. That hurt," he said simply, pushing a wall off of him. Just as he was dusting off his shoulder Bit slithered into view, his vast bulk casting a shadow over the swordsman.
It gave a deep, throaty chuckle. "Histat, ke-shata sorto!"
Rayden gave it a flat stare. "Sorry, I don't speak freakish. Hyaah!" In one smooth motion he made a horizontal slash into the creature's belly, spilling out blood along with a few other unidentifiable liquids. The monster doubled over and howled, its top eye staying focused on Rayden and promising the puny mortal a world of pain.
Soon the cut had healed, and Bit stood up to his full height, bringing all of its hefty muscles to bear.
Rayden was not impressed. "Hey stupid, you gonna just pose there all day, or are you gonna fight?"
At first he thought that the veins that started to pop out all over the hefty demon was just a sign that it was angry. He decided that it something slightly more dangerous as Bit's entire body suddenly bulged out, then retracted itself, but not fully returning to its normal size. Rayden watched him do this three more times, until he was sure the demon had gained at least two feet in height and a lot of muscle.
Bit swung its tail in a low sweep. Rayden yelped and jumped over it, opting to give his enemy a blade in the face while he was up there. Bit howled in pain and slashed wildly with his claws, managing to land a good hit while Rayden was returning to the ground.
Rayden winced as blood oozed from the gash in his shoulder. Normally a claw attack would barely produce a flesh wound, but this sucker was STRONG!!
"All right loser! It's time to say GOODBYE!!! Iczer beam!!" Rayden cupped his hands together in the classic DBZ ki-attack pose, and a thick beam of white light blasted forth from his hands, exploding on contact with its target and throwing it outside where Ranma and Rotor were fighting.
Jumping over the crater his attack had created, Rayden came down on top of Bit with a flying kick, only to be hastily swatted out of the air by the creature's tail. Growling as he impacted the ground, Rayden got up and pointed his blade at an angle behind him. "Death's shadow blade!!" Bit never knew what hit him as Rayden's form seemed to blur and slowly float toward him. Then his small, dark world exploded into pain as a sharp, massive blades thirsting for blood seemed to cross every cell, every pore of his body, stabbing deep and then retracting to strike somewhere else.
Rayden finished off his attack with a flourish, cutting a huge, semicircular gouge out of Bit's chest before sheathing his sword in a rather impressive display of control and momentum. Bit's body exploded into blood and shredded skin before the whole mass was engulfed in crimson flame, and a glowing red form seemed to form from the ashes.
Rayden gave an annoyed look as Bit's body came back from the dead. "Goddamn it, don't you knuckleheads know when to quit? Well, at least you're back to normal size now."
Bit gave a tremendous roar into the air before slashing down at his foe, only to get his hand cut off. He was about to give a second tremendous roar, when Kaze yelled.

"Master Shikodan! Master Saotome! Stop!" Rayden stopped, and suprisingly, so did Bit. Rotor slammed into the ground hard, and Ranma landed near Kaze.
"What is it? We're kind of in a life-and-death situation, you know?" Ranma didn't mean to be rude, but fighting things that you couldn't knock out or kill was already taking its toll.
The white priest understood, however, and merely smiled before holding up two slips of paper with very arcane-looking runes on them. "These should take care of them. Simply bring them to a point of ressurection and I'll finish them off with these."
Bit blinked. He didn't understand a word of any human language, but judging by the way Rotor started looking unusually panicked, and by the cruel grin the human Ranma now had, things had probably taken a turn for the worse on his side.
Rayden quickly put some distance between himself and the two demons as Ranma's aura lit up and turned from blue to red.
"DRAGON FIRE BEAM!!!"
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Oh, hi Kasumi." Ranma greeted her almost off-handedly as he entered the house, then fell down on the nearest couch, looking rather winded.
Rayden came in next. He didn't look as tired as Ranma, but he did have several tears and bloodstains in his trench coat, even if his skin showed not even a scar.
Kaze came in last, looking as good and calm as he did when he left, if not a little happier. He was also chatting with Rayden.
"So you're saying they're not dead?"
Kaze shook his head. "I'm sorry Master Shikodan, but all I could do was return them to their home plane. If we tracked them down there we could finish them, but for now they are beyond our grasp."
"Well that sucks."
Nabiki had remained quiet up until then, but now chose to speak up. "Something happen to you?"
Ranma and Rayden looked at each other. "Don't ask." At that they both left for their room, and thankfully sleep.
Kaze chuckled. "It's been a hard day for them, let them be. Now, may I ask where Mr. Saotome is?"
Kasumi spoke up cheerfully next to him. "Oh, he disappeared somewhere around lunchtime. But we did find the cutest little panda out in the backyard!"
Kaze slapped his forehead. "Oh dear... uh, where is it now?"
Nabiki shrugged. "Ask animal control."
Kaze sighed and went right out the front door again.
Kasumi blinked. "I wonder what that was all about?"
__________________________________________________________________________________

"You have failed me." The entity said it without implication, without remorse, and without emotion.
Rotor wasn't capable of expressing much emotion, but if he was, he would've been expressing fear. As it was, the most logical outcome he could reach was his own death. Bit, on the contrary, was trembling like a baby, his wailing and begging not doing his terrifying visage justice in the least.
A black, oozing tantacle whipped out and slapped Bit across the face. "Do not show me such a pathetic display. It's truly sad to see a creature of your stature turned to such a state of cowardice. You both were given extra-planar bodies, indestructible forms, and yet the best you could do was a few measly scratches on the big one with the sword. Did you at least manage to bleed a little on the priest?"
"Saotome was a far greater threat, or at least it seemed that way at the time. Once we had subdued Saotome and Shikodan, the next logical step was to kill Toren." Rotor's words sounded far more confident than he was.
"FOOL!!! Do you think those of the White Star are so easily taken care of? That man, Kaze could probably have crushed both of you with greater ease than those other two. The secret of your ressurrection is out, and I do hope your next assault is not so witlessly planned!" Their leader turned and left, leaving the two high demons in a state of both relief and near heart-attack (well, Bit was, at least. Rotor didn't have an organic heart).
Then, from the direction that it had left, their master's voice echoes forth from the darkness. "I will be sending Bolt and Nail with you next time, and will be observing the battle personally. If you lose again, you had better make sure your performance is entertaining. Or else."
Wordlessly their master left, dissolving into the shadows of the temple grounds without a trace.
As it left, however, its head was swirling with questions. 'Who is this Saotome boy? Where did he come from? What are his intentions?' Well, with any luck it wouldn't matter in a week, but it was still curious.

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End Chapter 3