Standard disclaimer applies. Ranma belongs to the all-powerful and most revered Rumiko Takahashi. MegaTokyo belongs to Largo-san and Piro-san. This was done on a challenge. Don't sue me or flame me, I'm only partially resposible for this. Some scenes may be more or less taken straight from MegaTokyo comics, without their permission.
As far as continuity goes, the Ranma part takes off after the Mt. Pheonix battle and failed wedding, etc., and the MegaTokyo part right after Piro and Largo are forced onto the streets.
Key: Words in " " are English or untranslated Japanese, [ ] are signs or writing, { } is Japanese, ' ' are thoughts, ( ) are comments. SPECIAL NOTE: Complex L33T will be followed by a translation in ( ). You may consider them comments, of a sort. Or not. I don't really care.
L33T Ranma!
Part Four
7R14L5 0|= 7H3 [H053|\| 1
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Genma groggily shook himself from the comforting blanket of sleep as sunlight poured into the Saotomes' temporary home. Lifting himself to an upright position, he stretched and started working the kinks out of his neck.
He was human at the moment, which for him was unusual. Genma usually slept in his panda form at night, as it was far more comfortable, and the panda's form almost seemed geared for laziness, which Genma had found rather useful.
He was in human form because he had stayed up late drinking with Soun, lamenting about Ranma's sudden and bizarre change of attitude concerning Akane.
Genma frowned, and smirked slightly at the lump that lay on the futon next to him. Well, since Ranma had somehow picked up an attitude, it was naturally Genma's duty, as his father, to beat it out of him!
{"On your feet, boy!"} Genma kicked the form under the covers fiercely, sending two pillows flying into the opposite wall.
Genma blinked. Pillows.
{"Ha ha ha! Nice try Pop, but it's game over!"}
Genma turned around and frowned at his son, who was leaning on the opposite wall and grinning at him. And wearing that ridiculous punk get-up rather than his usual Chinese clothes. Had the boy joined a gang or something?
He crossed his arms over his chest and sighed. {"Boy, I really don't know what to do with you. First you string along all those girls of yours, and constantly fight with Akane. And now this... Goth?"}
{"L33T."} Ranma corrected.
{"'L33T' thing. Fighting with Akane in front of everybody! ADMITTING that you cheated on her! Boy, do you realize that if she kills you, my retirement goes right out the window?! Stop being so selfish and marry her!"}
Ranma snorted. {"'Stringing along all those girls'? And whose fault is it that I'm engaged to Ukyo anyway, huh Pop? And who was the genius that decided to drag me to China, to Jusenkyou, and then to an Amazon village when he couldn't speak, read, or understand Chinese?!"}
Genma glared at his son, then sighed once more. {"Boy, I hate to say this, but it appears that all my attempts at proper discipline have gone for naught. Starting today, I shall retrain you from the beginning!"}
Ranma barked out a laugh. {"Oh, please! You think you have anything to teach me? And you call marrying Akane 'discipline'? More like suicide!"}
Genma growled. {"Boy, you'll marry Akane and like it! Have you no honor?!"}
Ranma's eyes grew cold, and Genma was taken aback by the fury he portrayed. {"Fool! You think to lecture me about honor? You know nothing of such things!"} Ranma turned pointedly and looked out the room's single window. {"Honor is not trying to distract your opposing player to score free hits on his character! Honor is not using a super combo when your opponent is trapped in a dizzy! Honor is not scoring enough hits to get ahead, and then turtling until the clock runs out! Honor is not using glitches or cheats! What know you of honor?"}
Genma stared blankly at his son, then scratched his head. {"Boy, are you feeling okay? Akane didn't smash your head on a rock again, did she?"}
Ranma snorted once again, and then moved into a loose combat stance. {"Prepare yourself for a lesson in pain, father. J00 \/\/1|| F4|| B-4 |\/|`/ 5|<1||Z!"}
'That's it. The boy's finally snapped. I always knew living here like this would break him eventually, but I was sure that it would be marriage to Akane that would finally do him in!' {"All right boy, I'm doing this for your own good!"} Genma yelled, and then leapt into a flying kick.
Ranma's eyes gleamed. "Bring it on, L00Z3|2..."
__________________________________________________________________________________
Piro bowed deeply to Kasumi as he entered the dining room, and squatted down at the table.
Usagi continued drawing little circles on the wood of the bookshelf she was standing on with the toe of her shoe as Seraphim glared at her meaningfully.
"... But overall, they shouldn't complain, right? You just want to get to know them better. If they're really in love with you already, then they might be willing to compete a little." Piro finished.
Largo stopped before the building and took a deep, meditative breath, almost as if drawing in some grand energy that surrounded the structure.
The two L33T looked about cautiously once they were inside, not seeing anyone. The place was rather spacious, with a large brick wall facing the entrance, partially covered by a conspicuous curtain. The ceiling was very high and had metal scaffolding with lights, suggesting that the building had been originally designed for a purpose very unlike the use it was being put to.
What he saw was about what he expected.
"Wait."
Blitz's eyes narrowed as they met Ranma's, and the arcade supervisor raised his hand, flexing his index finger in a gesture of beckoning.
Largo calmly looked over Blitz's companions as Ranma took his position. Gatt and Jack were practically chewing their nails, while Ghost had an almost... expectant look. This would be interesting.
The character select screen glared in the two combatants' faces.
Ranma watched as Kyo spoke his generic opening lines, which were returned in kind by Orochi Iori's maniac snarl.
Behind the two foes, the gathered L33T watched in amazement as Blitz, for all intents and purposes, got ownzed quite badly.
'I cannot lose to him! I won't lose!' Blitz snarled and tapped the control stick up and down, sending him into a lighting-fast arc set to smash Ranma with an aerial attack.
The electricity in the air was... different, this time. Ranma could feel it. Ryu opened with a fireball, and Iori waited until the last moment before rolling past it, rolling straight into a perfectly timed uppercut. Ryu crowded his opponent on the ground, and was thrown aside on Iori's recovery.
Jack was tugging nervously on one of the numerous metal objects that looked to have been jammed through his chin. "This is crazy. Does he really think he can win?"
"Let us end this!" Blitz growled, "You have too little life left! I will defeat you, or you can dodge until time runs out and I'll win anyway! Fail with honor, scrub!"
*Ring!-Ring!* Shampoo's bicycle bell gave a split second warning to clear the area right before her bicycle crashed down to the walk below, threatening injury or worse to any foolish enough to bar its path.
Ukyo had learned long ago that a bicycle bell from above was an invitation to be used as a launch pad, and swung her spatula around to shield her face, grunting as the full weight of the Amazon warrior and her favorite medium of transportation pressed against the face of her weapon.
Atop a business building nearby, a lone figure watched in mild fascination.
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End Chapter 4
{"Good morning Piro! How did you sleep?"}
{"Well enough, thank you. Ah, where's Largo?"}
Kasumi put a finger to her chin in thought. {"I saw him earlier... he took some beer, an English phone book and a map and went to the dojo, I believe."}
{"Dojo... right... thank you."} Piro sighed and waited patiently for breakfast to be served. How was he going to fix this mess? The situation just seemed to go from bad to worse. He had proven unable to restrain Largo, one of their hosts had turned into a psychotic-gamer-in-training, Ping-chan had malfunctioned badly, and that short-haired girl hauling around the mallet was scaring the wits out of him. And the worst part was, this wasn't the worst part. Seraphim had predicted that things would come to a head soon, for better or for worse.
With Largo, worst-case scenarios were a fairly optimistic gesture; he could get into trouble that few would deem possible.
*Crash!* The house shook, and Piro jerked to his feet, staring about in panic.
*Bam!* The living room trembled again, nearly knocking him back down. He was about to shout for help and run for the phone, when he realized that Kasumi was still humming to herself in the kitchen like nothing was wrong.
And then...
"Shin Shoryuken!!" *WHAM!!* *Crash!* Broken glass showered into the back yard, and Piro stared wide-eyed as a white streak flew off into the distance.
Once again, his eyes darted to the kitchen. Kasumi was breaking eggs into a non-stick pan. He twitched.
Wondering what exactly was wrong with this family, Piro started upstairs to where the noise had originated. Upon reaching it, he slowly opened the door, ready to jump to the side if anything flew out at him.
Nothing did, and when he worked up enough nerve to peek into the room, he had to blink in surprise.
Ranma was there, standing with his arms crossed and his head down slightly, with the tails of his Mortal Kombat bandanna flying in the wind.
Piro blinked again. The tails were fluttering parallel to the outside wall, with no possible breeze to lift them. "How-?"
"I'm just that good," Ranma interrupted, then came out of his victory pose. "Ah, Piro. Good morning." Ranma smiled good-naturedly, and patted the American on the back.
"Er... good morning. What was all that noise?"
Ranma chuckled slightly. "Just taking care of business, my friend. Say, do you know where Master Largo is?"
"'Master' Largo," Piro began somewhat sarcastically, "is in the dojo. I think he's planning something."
Ranma nodded thoughtfully, and Piro cleared his throat. "Look, Ranma, we have to talk."
Ranma nodded decisively. "I agree." Then he moved over, and sat down on his father's futon before gesturing for Piro to do the same next to him.
Piro sat down slowly, confused. "Really? It's about Largo-"
"Another time, perhaps," Ranma waved off the topic. "What I need to know about is dating games."
Piro blinked. "Dating games?"
Ranma nodded. "Yes. It would seem that my |\/|4|] 5|
Ranma nodded. "I thank you. This will be of great help in my training." He coughed into his hand. "Now, let's say, hypothetically, that I invited two girls who are in love with me but absolutely despise each other on a date for the same time, but they don't know it. How would I diffuse the initial reactions?" Ranma's expression was one of sheer concentration and focus. "Hypothetically," he added again.
Piro sweatdropped. "Ooh... that's a tough one, all right. What are your choices?"
"You tell me."
Piro scratched his chin in thought. "Well... I suppose first you should simply try to calm them down. Something to distract them from each other first, then get their attention and get them to wait for an explanation. The real trick would be..."
"It was YOUR job to keep tabs on him! How could you let all this happen?!"
Usagi winced and sniffled. "I'm sorry! Please don't be mad!"
Seraphim's gaze didn't lesson. "All right blondie, how are you planning to fix this?"
Usagi blinked, and her forehead wrinkled in thought. "Uh... keep Ranma away from video games? They seem to be the cause of this..."
Seraphim shook her head. "Even if you were capable of that, it'd just cause a breakdown in his mental functions until he degenerates into a psychotic murder. Try again."
Usagi sweatdropped. "Uh... get him on a date with that nice brunette and hope she keeps him in line?"
Seraphim rolled her eyes. "Ranma's personality is far too assertive and independent. If anything, Ukyo would probably be the one 'put in line'."
Usagi started sweating more as she remembered yesterday afternoon. "Kill Largo?" She tried desperately.
Seraphim nodded. "Good. It's about time you showed some brains. Now where do we put the body after we're done?"
Usagi's eyes bugged out. "But... I mean... we can't... I was just kidding!"
"So was I." Seraphim sighed and rubbed her head. "Besides, Largo is a client. It's against company policy." She stopped and frowned. "Though... if I got Boo reassigned first..."
Usagi didn't like this path of thought (she was a good conscience), so she changed the subject. "So, what should I do?"
"Keep an eye on him and try to influence his behavior. He may be L33T, but that just makes him stupid, not evil. Remember, he's not the same person he used to be. Right and wrong are irrelevant to him, so try different incentives." Her eye was caught momentarily by the conversation on the floor of the Saotomes' room. "What the hell..."
"Oh, believe me, they're more than willing to compete," Ranma muttered.
*Poof* Seraphim alighted on Piro's head, and glared down at her client. "Piro, what are you doing?"
Piro blinked. "Oh, uh... just giving Ranma a few pointers on dating games. Why?"
The small winged woman twitched. "And what are you SUPPOSED to be doing?"
Piro's face was blank. "Uh..."
"Hey, cute conscience! Hi little babe, name's Ranma!" Ranma took her hand between his forefinger and thumb and wiggled it in a bizzarre imitation of a western handshake.
"Hi, I'm Seraphim," she answered back, and then shook her head. "I've seen your file. You were doing pretty good before. Not perfect, but you've been under a lot of stress at the same time."
Ranma snorted. "Tell me about it."
Seraphim looked back down at Piro. "See what Largo has done to him? And in such a short time!"
Piro snapped his fingers. "Oh! Right!" He then turned to Ranma. "Ranma, about Largo. This whole 'L33T' thing is just a popular culture sham. It's just some dumb thing from America, you know?"
Ranma snorted again and shook his head. "'Dumb thing'? 'Popular culture sham'? You know not what you speak." Ranma stood up, and a light blue haze enveloped him as he raised a fist to the air dramatically. "L33T is so much more! It is a force! A way of life! Just as the great Druids of popular AD&D rulesets worship nature to harness its power, so we recognize and wield the powers of technology!"
"Yeah, okay, forget the talk, it's a lost cause. This guy's lost it already," Seraphim muttered.
Ranma lowered his hand and rested it on Piro's shoulder. "But of course, you do not yet understand. Follow Largo, friend. He will show you the way."
*Bam!* Largo burst into the room, fluttering a piece of paper in his hand. "D00d! I found an arcade!"
Ranma smiled at Piro. "See?" Piro sweatdropped.
Seraphim stared at Boo. "Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me." The tiny hamster was wearing a rounded plastic army hat along with twin ammo belts criss-crossed over his chest.
Piro twitched. "Uh... Largo, what are you doing?"
Largo grinned. "We're on a mission! I was up late last night planning, and I've decided it's time to take on the zombie infestation once and for all! But because we're lacking crossbows, we'll need allies."
"And you're going to find allies... at an arcade?" Piro deadpanned.
Ranma grinned and clapped Largo on the shoulder as he walked to stand behind his master. "7|200 63N1U5 once again, Master!" Seraphim shook her head sadly at the sight.
A thought occurred to Piro. "Wait. It took you all morning to find an arcade? Kasumi said the book was in English..."
Largo shook his head. "Naw, that just took a minute. I spent the rest of the time carving a helmet and ammo belts for Boo out of a plastic cup and rubber bands."
"Squeak!"
Piro winced as Seraphim held a hand to her forehead.
"Christ, I need an Aspirin..."
Largo ignored her and exited, with Boo on his shoulder and Ranma on his heels. "Onward, fellow L33T! Victory over the zombie hoards! 2 4|2|\/|5!"
Piro stared listlessly at the empty doorway. "Well... I think I'll go for a walk."
Seraphim whirled on him. "A walk?! This is an emergency! Why?!"
"To clear my head," Piro muttered, "before my brain melts and starts dripping out of my ears."
__________________________________________________________________________________
"Look, my student. Is it not [00lzor?"
Ranma nodded somberly. "Indeed Master, it is a grand sight. But I must ask, will we truly find allies of sufficient 5|<1||z here? Surely L33T trained by any less than you would be little but a burden to us."
Largo smirked slightly, and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Well, we shall see, won't we? Hopefully they will have some useful 5|<1||z." His smirk faded as he approached the doors. "'Sides, if they don't, we could always use Rent-A-Zilla."
Ranma nodded in agreement, and entered the arcade after Largo.
"Is anybody here?" Ranma asked, more to himself than anything. Row after row of machines stood before him and his master, colored lights playing across each one.
Largo's eyes narrowed. "...... Yes. They are here. I can sense them. [0|\/|3!"
Ranma followed Largo as he approached the edge of the building, and his own senses began to tingle, slightly offset by the assortment of noises from the various machines.
Suddenly, a strong male voice rang out of the corner they were approaching, stopping student and master in their steps.
{"Block! Block! Roll! Look for the opening! Hit him! No, in the opening! Fool! His recovery time isn't that good! Do it again!"}
Largo looked toward Ranma, once again having not understood a bloody syllable.
"It sounds like... a drill," Ranma breathed, slowly walking further toward the voice.
{"Light punch! Light punch! Quarter circle forward, medium kick! Now the super! NO!! You missed the window, scrub!"}
Ranma was about to reach the end of the row they were in and turn to meet the voice, but Largo reached forward and clapped a hand on his shoulder. Ranma turned to look at him questioningly.
"Allow me," Largo said. "You are a good student, but you are not a Master yet. Let me deal with them first."
Ranma nodded in understanding, and Largo stepped forward, into the unknown.
At the controls of Street Fighter Alpha 3 was a small man who likely wouldn't survive an encounter with even a small magnet. He had piercings everywhere; in his nose, his ears, his eyebrows, and his lips, just to name the highest concentrations. He had hot red hair, obviously dyed, that was set into spikes that jabbed straight up.
Yelling at him was a man who looked tall for an Asian. He had no deliberate body deformations, and his black hair was tied quite simply into a short ponytail off to the left side of his head, so that his hair hid his left eye.
Behind him were two others. The most noticeable was a fat kid with his arms completely covered in interwoven tattoos, up beyond his sleeves. And probably beyond his sleeves, judging how he had patches of red ink spiking up his neck. He was shaved bald.
The least noticeable, though most curious, was a guy of average height with his head down. He was wearing some charms around his neck, and his shoulder-length hair was black with thin streaks of pure white in them. He had chains around his wrists, his waist, and ankles and wore a headband with a large black eye insignia on the front.
{"What's wrong with you?! Don't invite him to attack! Your moves have higher priority! Keep attacking, and you'll emerge victorious!"} The tall one yelled, causing the smaller one to squeak loudly and nod his head, though he was sweating badly.
{"Yo, we have company!"} The fat one yelled, causing all but the guy with the chains to turn around in surprise.
The tall one, apparently the leader, looked Largo over, and then raised an eyebrow as Ranma walked up behind him.
{"Well, this is a surprise. What brings the great and all-powerful Ranma Saotome to our humble little house of 'fake fighting'?"} He sneered as he said the last words mockingly, and Ranma's eyes narrowed.
"Speak English, man. I can't understand a word of that gibberish you call a language," Largo said bluntly, crossing his arms across his chest.
The leader looked up at him, then chuckled. "Ah. An American. Well Mr. USA, I'm afraid we don't speak 'Engrish' too much around here. If you wanna play, you're gonna hafta speak the language, fool."
Ranma growled, and took a step forward, but Largo's arm shot up, blocking his path.
The Master L33T just smirked. "_|0, |]15 8373|2 |=0 _|00?" (Would this manner of speech be acceptable?)
All three of the men looking at Largo looked slightly surprised, though it only lasted a moment.
The leader nodded. "50 _|00|2 |_337. 600|]. _|00 \/\/4|\||\|4 B 0\/\/|\|z0|23|]?" (So you are an L33T. Very well, would you care to partake in our gaming exercises?)
Largo shook his head. "|\|0. \/\/3 60774 70|< 53|2105, |]00|]." (Unfortunately, I have another matter of the utmost importance to relate.)
The Japanese man scratched his chin for a moment, then nodded. "\/\/|-|473\/3|2." (Indeed, if the matter be that grievous, then let us put aside our play and discuss your concerns.)
Then he gestured to the other three men. "J0, 7|-|353 5{|2|_|8z R |\/|`/ 6|_|`/5," (These fine gentlemen are my comrades-in-arms. May I introduce,) he pointed to the small one that he had been yelling at, "Jack," then to the fat one, "Gatt," and then toward the other young man, who hadn't moved from his position, "4|\||] Ghost." Finally, he pointed towards himself. "1'|\/| Blitz."
Ranma blinked. "5700|>1|] |\|4|\/|35." (Surely, those strange titles cannot be your true identities.)
Blitz snorted. "50 |-|00r _|00?" (We have identified ourselves, might you introduce yourselves?)
Largo nodded his head. "1 4|\/| Largo, L33T|\/|4573|2 5|_||>|23|\/|3. 7|-|15 15 |\/|`/ 4||`/ 4|\||] |>|_||>1|_, Ranma."
There was some blinking, and suddenly, Gatt and Jack began whispering to themselves quickly. However, Blitz quickly held up a hand, bringing their conversation to a halt.
"1 533. \/\/47 |]00 _|00 \/\/4|\|7?" (And what is this matter of urgency you speak of?)
Largo's expression was rock-hard. "84|] 57|_||>|-| |]00|], 53|210|_|5|`/." (A dark plague of the undead threatens to overwhelm all of Tokyo, casting this land in the great shadow of oblivion. I ask that you join me and my pupil, so that we may combat this evil together, and reign victorious.)
Blitz snorted. "54|\/|3 45 |_457 \/\/33|<." (Tokyo has undergone such trials in the past, and survived without our assistance. It will do so again.)
Largo shook his head in frustration. "7|-|15 1z |\|0 |\/|3|23 '7|214|', |=00|! 7|-|3 |_||\||]34|] |-|0|2|]35 7|-||23473|\| 4||!" (This attack cannot be ignored! The undead will wipe out everything! Your homes, your family!)
Blitz just rolled his eyes and turned away. "637 |057, 5{|2|_|8. J00 |]0|\|7 83|0|\|6 |-|3|23." (It can be ignored, and it will. We Japanese are a hardy people, and will weather such attacks as we always have. Leave us, loser.)
Largo raised a hand to protest for a moment, and then slowly let it drop. Shaking his head, he started to turn away.
"1 |-|4\/3 |-|34r|] 3|\|u|=!" (I have heard enough!)
All present turned to look at Ranma, even Ghost (who seemed to be ignoring the whole incident).
"_|00 _|3|2|
"51|3|\|{3!" Ranma shouted. "_|00|2 |\|07 L33T! _|00 \/\/0|_|||] |37 4|| |=4|| B4 7|-|3 z0|\/|813 |-|0|2|]3!" (You dare disgrace the great and noble L33T with your filth? You are not deserving of the title! You, who would let your homes, your families, your ARCADES fall to the great darkness that threatens us all! I refuse to acknowledge such a prestigious title to one so low!) Ranma's voice was acid seething over ice, and even Blitz seemed to look a little surprised.
Ranma turned away sharply. "5{|2|_|5 |1|<3 _|00 5|-|0|_|1|] 574`/ 0|_|774 R \/\/4`/." (Fools. If you will not assist us, then we will find others more capable, and far more intelligent. We take our leave of you.)
Largo stared at his disciple as Ranma walked away slowly, and then turned to gaze at the uncertain-looking gamers. Shaking his head sadly, Largo at last turned to follow his companion, held bowed slightly in a gesture of disappointment.
Largo and Ranma jerked to a stop, and each slowly turned.
Blitz held a hand out, though he seemed very unsure of himself. "Look. I'm not saying that what you say is true, but maybe there's more to this than either of us realize."
Largo blinked. "Come again?"
"There is a legend," Ghost spoke softly, startling Ranma and Largo, "events churn in the vortex of reality, and all can be lost in a moment. Dare we place our trust lightly?" The mysterious boy looked up at Ranma curiously.
Largo grimaced. "Look, d00d, we're just asking for some extra hands here. I don't want you to die for us anything."
"You ask us to put our lives in danger, right?" Gatt asked, and eyebrow raised.
Ranma snorted. "Our lives are already in danger. It's just a matter of fighting, or being snuffed out like a battle tank in a mech skirmish."
Blitz nodded. "So you say. And that may all be true. However, we have no reason to trust you or take your commands..." he pursed his lips, and broke eye contact. "... Yet..."
Largo frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. "E>
The heavily pierced boy nodded as he jumped off his stool, and ran over to the section of the large brick wall that had a curtain over it. Jack yanked on the cover, and Largo and Ranma's eyes widened.
"Whoa..."
"It can't be..."
Boo crawled atop Largo's head, frowning. [I don't get it. It's just a lot of zeroes and ones spraypainted on the wall.]
Blitz blinked. "Uh... d00d... what's with the hamster?"
"Huh? Oh... he's my conscience..." Largo spoke dismissively, eyes glued to the wall.
Blitz raised an eyebrow. "Right... okay. Anyway, this is the ancient legend of this arcade, mysteriously appearing on this wall overnight after the grand opening. My grandfather, the owner of this place, was going to wash it off, but luckily, Jack here realized its significance in time for it to be preserved."
Ranma turned to the boy. "What is it?"
Jack smirked. "It's a truly ancient dialect of L33T. The FIRST dialect: 81|\|4ry.."
Ranma and Largo gasped.
Jack nodded, his smiled growing. "Indeed. Just as ancient man kept his first ideas and recordings in the form of crude pictures that merely conveyed a vague idea as to what his thoughts were, so has some wizened computer prophet left us with our golden prophecy; a milky, mist-veiled picture of the future of our people!"
Largo rolled his eyes. "Uh huh. Right. What's it say?"
Jack glared at the American for a moment, then cleared his throat and faced the wall. "Well, naturally, neither a literal nor precise translation is possible, but as the legend goes, a great L33T, a master hacker and gamer with the |\/|4|) 5|<1||z of a thousand L33T and the common sense of a sheep will appear from the holy land of silicon and AD&D, the land graced with the overwhelming glory of Westwood, and the vile plague of Microsoft."
Largo nodded. "America..."
Jack grinned. "Correct, Largo-san. He will take upon him and apprentice, one ill-versed in the ways of gaming, but with 1n54n3 m4r714| 4r7z 5|<1||z. He will be Japanese, and he will be our leader."
Ranma blinked. "Your leader?"
Blitz nodded. "Correct. Not just the leader of us four, not just a leader of the L33T, but a leader of ALL Japan. 7H3 [H053|\| 1 will come to us one day, save Japan from the clutches of a great evil, and then seize this great nation for the glory of himself and all L33T. So it is written. Sort of. Like Jack said, it's kinda vague and all that." Blitz shrugged.
Ghost eyed Ranma, his face the picture of neutral curiosity. "Are you 7H3 [H053|\| 1? I think we shall see, Ranma-san."
Ranma grinned. "Just Ranma, please."
Blitz raised an eyebrow and stood up fully. "So, you will take our challenge then?"
Ranma shrugged. "\/\/|-|47 7|-|3 #3||?" (I know not whether I be this [H053|\| 1, but I will endure any trial you wish to offer. Bring it on.)
Largo frowned, and stepped forward. "Wait. He is inexperienced, yet. Don't you want to test me, to see if I'm the master in your prophecy?"
Ghost shook his head decisively. "The master matters not, for one so great has many students. This test will divine none but 7H3 [H053|\| 1 himself."
Largo looked a bit anxious, but Ranma placed a hand on his shoulder comfortingly.
"|\/|4573|2, PH33r not. J00 have 7aught7 me well. Whether I lose this battle, or commence with major beatdownz, I have no regrets."
Atop his head, Boo squeaked softly. Largo stared down at his pupil, and then slowly smiled.
"Very well, my student. Your time has come."
Ranma turned around toward Blitz.
Largo raised his fist to the air. "Let the 0wnz0ring 8361|\|!!"
"We shall do this |\/|`/ \/\/4`/. Bring forth the machine!"
Gatt nodded and yanked on a nearby rope that was suspiciously hanging down out of nowhere, and then slowly let it back up.
Ranma's eyes narrowed to match Blitz's as a platform slowly descended from high above, a single arcade machine atop it.
Blitz smirked, his aggression apparently vanishing. "One of the most underappreciated games of it's time: Capcom vs. SNK. Four buttons, two grooves, and no air blocks. Button-mashers are crushed, and turtlers are sent crying to their mommas. This is old-school combat at it's best. Are you prepared?"
Ranma nodded firmly. "8r1n6 17 0|\|."
Atop Largo's shoulders, Usagi, who had at some point changed into a cheerleader outfit, and Boo both danced from side to side, waving pom-poms.
"Ranma! Ranma! Kick his bun! We know you're 7H3 [H053|\| 1!!"
"Squeak! Squeak! Squeeeeeek!!"
Blitz scrolled around a bit with the joystick, then nodded slowly, centering over first Kyo, and then lightly tapping the button.
Ranma felt small beads of sweat form. 'I can see why his he is known as "Blitz". Such speed and precision, even when he's just choosing his fighter!'
Blitz smirked slightly, and tapped the joystick over to illuminate Ryu's picture. The screen flashed.
Ranma quickly averted his eyes, knowing that he must now make his decision. This would not be an easy battle.
"|-|urr`/, 5[r|_|8, j00r 8347|]0\/\/n 4w4i7z."
Ranma grit his teeth, then scrolled over to the one ratio character selection, stopping atop Blanka.
"Ranma!" A voice jerked him from his concentration, and he started as the sound seemed to reverberate through the arcade like an echo.
"M-Master?" Ranma gaped.
"Use the 5|<1||z, Ranma!" The echoing voice urged. Ranma gulped, unsure of what to make of the strange voice in his head.
If he had looked behind him, he would have noticed that Blitz, Gatt, and Jack were all looking about in confusion.
A bead of sweat trailed down Ranma's brow. He gently moved the selection box over Iori.
"Trust in your feelings, Ranma!"
Ranma gulped, and then his eyes hardened. "Yes master! Ph33r not! I will avenge your demise!"
Ranma tapped the control stick down twice before his head snapped up. "Wait a minute. Largo-sensei isn't dead."
Blitz growled at the American, who was holding a microphone at a station behind the arcade main counter. "Stop messing with the P.A. system, stupid!"
Ranma sweatdropped, but his gaze focused back on the screen.
Blitz turned back around, muttering under his breath about the incompetence of foreigners. Then he blinked. "Evil Ryu, huh?"
Ranma's features hardened, and he tapped the control stick.
Blitz raised an eyebrow. "Akuma. I see..."
Then Ranma smirked, and tapped the stick a final time before swiftly hitting the button.
Blitz's jaw immediately dropped. "Orochi Iori?! You've gotta be kidding me!"
Ranma smiled. "I |<1|] j00 n07. L3t 17 b36in."
Suddenly, Largo grabbed him by the shoulders, startling him out of his concentration.
"PH00|!! I said to use your feelings, not your ego!! You can't win with Orochi Iori! The ratio imbalance is too great, and his lack of extra hard-hitting techniques will cripple you! You'll be wiped out!"
Ranma tore himself from his master's grip, focusing once more on the game. "I will WIN!!! Speed and technique will always conquer power and hard combos!"
Blitz snorted. "You insult me. Very well. This game will end as it has begun, scrub. Now FIGHT!!!"
The screen flashed, and the clock began.
Kyo immediately dashed toward Ranma, executing a perfectly timed roundhouse that tagged the very edge of Iori's block. Ranma tried a leg sweep in return, using Iori's superior sweeping range to cross the mostly inaccessible distance between characters.
Kyo blocked, and then countered with a low attack of his own, which had Kyo drop to the ground and sweep two kicks under Iori. The first kick fell short completely, and the second kick moved in...
*Hraaah!* Orochi Iori spun into the air, blasting Kyo three separate times with the trails of purple fire that bled from the ground.
No words were spoken among the combatants. Both were above such petty in-game taunting.
Kyo recovered in time to block a fireball, and then jumped over the next projectile, landing just outside of Orochi Iori's anti-air range. Ranma didn't take the offensive, and waited as a flaming hook launched toward him.
Iori slid through Kyo and the attack, and then pummeled his opponent from behind, hitting Kyo with Iori's own three-stage combo before Kyo could recover from the first miss of his own.
Kyo got up and tried to roll through Ranma's defenses, only to be grabbed in the midst of his maneuver and thrown aside.
Blitz began sweating. Iori launched himself at the downed Kyo, and Blitz delayed his getup before using his own uppercut maneuver to blast Orochi Iori away, scoring his first clean hit in the battle.
"T-To do so well on the first round..." Gatt gaped.
"And with Orochi Iori, no less." Jack added, aghast.
Largo was somewhat impressed as well, but still shook his head hopelessly. "He is doing well, but for how long will it last? Against an opponent such as Blitz, I ph33r even Ranma's 1n5an3 5|<1llz will proving lacking."
Orochi Iori rolled as soon as Kyo left the ground, and Ranma immediately entered the proper combination for Iori's ultimate technique.
Blitz was petrified as he was grabbed from behind by the super, and Kyo met his end through the rather spectacular end of having CPR applied to his chest via fiery explosions.
Ranma sighed contentedly. "That's what happens when you underestimate me. Or was that really your best?"
Blitz grit his teeth. "Don't gloat yet, Saotome. This is nothing. It is the next match alone that will determine your place."
The tension rose as both players returned their fierce gazes to the machine.
"Ranma! Ranma! You're so cool! Here's round two! B347downz that fool!!"
"Squeak! Squeak! Squeeeeeeeek!!"
Largo rolled his eyes, annoyed. "Seriously you two, cut that out."
Fireball.
Uppercut.
Back kick.
High punch.
Roundhouse.
Low sweep.
Beads of perspiration slid down Ranma's forehead as his health meter dipped lower and lower. His hands began to form jerky and awkward motions, and Ranma was caught in a helicopter kick as a result.
Orochi Iori landed on the ground, and Ranma gulped inwardly. Both players were using the most sacred Capcom groove, and Blitz's bar was full. Why, then, had he not done the full chain combo and scored the free one or two hits with Ryu's Shin Shoryuken?
Ryu crowded Iori's fallen form, and Ranma prepared to throw him again. The proper joystick movements and button combinations were made.
Ryu's aura flashed, and his groove meter drained empty.
*Shin Shoryuken!!*
Ranma jerked back awkwardly as Orochi Iori was slammed hard by the super-uppercut, and watched helplessly as his life bar petered out just short of complete exhaustion.
Orochi Iori recovered. Ryu moved in for the kill.
'Damn! This just isn't working! I have to come up with a new strategy, or I'm done for!'
Ryu jumped, fired, and pressed his attacks, trying to work his way through Iori's defense.
'I have a full super bar. Maybe I could... no. I couldn't take him out, and I can't bet the outcome of this battle on one super combo!'
Blitz grit his teeth in frustration, finding out firsthand how hard it was to catch a Saotome fighter when he was on the run. The fact that Orochi Iori traded all his potential ratio 4 'upgrades' for pure speed didn't help either. It seemed that Ranma simply couldn't be hit, so long as he didn't worry about landing any strikes either.
'There must be a way! Use the 5|<1||z! Search deep inside yourself!' Ranma adopted a serene look and gently closed his eyes. Much to Blitz's frustration, this didn't seem to hinder his ability to keep dodging at all.
Largo shook his head. "He is still young, and inexperienced. Strong, but Blitz is a great enemy. I ph33r he was not ready for this 7ri4l."
Gatt shifted his gaze to Ghost uneasily. "What do you think?"
Ghost continued looking at the battle in mild interest, as he had been doing all along. "It is concluding. The end is at hand."
Ranma's eyes shot open, and he nodded. "Indeed. Let us proceed with the b347downz."
Blitz grinned and dashed toward Ranma, keeping himself at a good distance to block should his opponent activate his super combo. He didn't even notice Ranma glowing.
Orochi Iori flashed, arms held over his head. Blitz grinned, and shifted into his block with plenty of time to spare. He would be safe.
Then he blinked. Iori remained in place, and purple ribbons of flame began shooting up around him, building higher and thicker. Then the actual arcade MACHINE started glowing lightly with a blue aura.
"Wh-What the hell?!"
Ranma's hand flashed over the controls. "Now, feel the true power of the Orochi! Blood Rage!!"
Orochi Iori screamed fiercely, and then blurred across the screen, leaving the traditional trail of afterimages behind him, and stopping suddenly on the other side of Ryu, crouched low to the ground.
*Shrak!!* *BOOOOOM!!!* A thick bright slash covered Ryu's sprite for a moment, and then the hallmark of the Street Fighter series exploded into a pyre of purple flame, numerous explosions booming on the machine's speakers.
Blitz's eyes were wide as dinner plates as his life gauge shrank down to nothing.
"It is done!" Ranma shouted firmly.
"What the HELL?!?!" Blitz shouted, "That's not even a real move!! And I was blocking too!!"
Gatt and Jack looked just as bewildered. "Yeah... that's not in the game..." "Is that cheating then? Or a glitch? I mean, how did he-"
"For one such as I," Ranma interrupted, "it is possible to link mind, body, and, through the use of ki, soul to the gaming conduit in entirety. Thus, it is possible to literally become one with the game." He let a smirk cross his face at Blitz's look of disbelief. "In such a state, it is a simple matter to 0wnz0r commoners such as you."
Blitz looked about ready to argue the point, but suddenly, Ghost stepped forward, and then got down on one knee. "Such is the power of 7H3 [H053|\| 1. I submit myself to you, great Master."
Gatt, Jack, and Blitz all developed the look of awed realization as they remembered what the match had meant.
"Master!"
"[H053|\| 1!"
"I'm sorry! I admit defeat! J00 truly r0x0r!"
Ghost stood up one more, smiling mysteriously. "I could see it in you. You have much strength. The future of the L33T is with you, Master."
Ranma chuckled to himself as the other three began groveling at his feet. Then he turned as Largo clapped a hand on his shoulder.
Largo grinned. "Well played, my student! Our first task in complete!"
Usagi took some time to run down Largo's arm and settle herself on Ranma's shoulder. "You did great!"
Ranma nodded. "And now we must track down the 3v1| z0m8i3 horde and defeat their dark queen, correct?"
"Yes," Largo agreed, looking at his watch. "But we'd better hurry. It's past noon already."
"Right. Past noo-" Ranma stopped talking, then brought up his own watch. "By Sega's grave! I've got a date!" He looked down at the teenagers still bowing to him. "Uh, look guys, I'd love to stop the undead swarm that threatens to kill us all and lead you L33T into a new golden age and stuff, but there are these two really hot girls that I've got to go meet up with in the park."
Blitz laughed and waved it off. "Don't mention it. Priorities and all that."
Gatt, Jack, and even Ghost all nodded somberly.
"Oh yeah!" Ranma slapped a fist into his other palm, and then pointed to Gatt and Jack. "And I need to borrow you two."
__________________________________________________________________________________
While her bicycle had a rather terrifying reputation, Shampoo herself was boasting not an iota of the exotic danger and prideful fierceness of the traditional Chinese Amazon warrior.
The lovely Amazon would, on a romantic outing in her own land, don a long, sleeveless, form-hugging silk dress covered with elaborate designs, and take her betrothed on a long walk in an herb garden, or perhaps have tea with him in a private room.
Shampoo was wearing black spandex bike shorts that ended mid-thigh and a small red crop top that opted for maximum cleavage, along with some simple flip-flop sandals in preparation for a quick lunch and a movie, and hopefully some comfortable cuddling afterward.
Assimilation is a beautiful thing.
Shampoo was in extremely high spirits today, and was already planning through all the things she could do for Ranma during their date. Obviously, Ranma was going to get in a lot of trouble for taking her out, and she had to make sure he didn't regret the decision.
Shampoo frowned. She had ALWAYS tried the hardest to please him out of all his suitors. Why was he responding now? She shrugged off the mystery after a moment. So long as he kept responding, who cared why?
Ranma had held her! Ranma had flirted with her! Shopped with her! And then he had asked her on a real date! She was the happiest girl in the world, and as soon as she set her eyes on her beloved, she'd show him EXACTLY how happy he'd made her!
...... Right after she found out what Ukyo was doing at their meeting place. *Ring!-Ring!*
With a mighty shove, Shampoo and her bike were sent in the opposite direction. Much to the chef's frustration, Shampoo merely did a handstand on the bicycle seat, then held it and flipped over, landing easily on her feet and holding the bicycle over her shoulder.
Glares were exchanged.
{"What spatula girl doing here?"}
Ukyo raised an eyebrow, then lowered her head and smirked. She knew that if Shampoo knew that she had a date with Ranma, the Amazon would try to break it up, but then again, sabotage attempts were practically a sure thing in this situation anyway, so she might as well exercise bragging rights.
{"I'll have you know that I've got a date with Ranma-honey, sugar. Now move along, would ya? Three's a crowd, ya know."}
Ukyo smiled slyly and tossed her long chestnut hair over her shoulder. The girl was wearing tight jeans, sneakers, and simple white tank top that didn't quite show off her breasts as well as Shampoo's own dress. However, that was the last concern the Amazon had at the moment.
{"What you talking? Ranma ask Shampoo to date!"} Shampoo frowned. The way the okinomiyaki chef had said it seemed to shout out that she believed what she was saying, and Shampoo didn't give Ukyo enough credit to think that she might just be lying convincingly.
Ukyo apparently didn't think quite as much of Shampoo's performance. {"What? You're lying! Ranma's going out with ME!!"}
Shampoo's eyes narrowed. {"Something not right here. Why airen ask you out when has Shampoo? And at same time?"}
Ukyo blinked repeatedly. {"That's crazy! With how long it took Ranma to give one of us a chance, there's no way he'd have the gall to do something like that! I think you're making this up!"} Eyes heated, Ukyo brought her battle spatula into the ready position.
Shampoo gave her rival an annoyed glare. {"Shampoo not lie! And unless spatula girl too good actor, Shampoo no think you lie either!"}
Ukyo was a bit taken aback by the seriousness in her voice, and lowered her weapon. {"Well, then there's no way he could actually plan on showing up. Which means... he stood us up!"}
Shampoo blinked. {"Why airen do that?"}
Ukyo growled. {"There's only one possible reason! He's doing something that he wants to be absolutely sure we won't interfere in! Like... like...!"} Ukyo gasped, and held a hand to her mouth. {"What if there's another wedding that we didn't know about?!"}
Shampoo went wide-eyed. {"Aiyah!! This not be!"} Shampoo dropped her bike in shock, then fell to her knees, punching the ground angrily. {"Ranma ditch Shampoo to marry violent girl!"}
Ukyo choked out a muffled sob, and tears started welling up below her eyes. {"He played on our emotions so that he could marry that treacherous brat Akane!"} She wiped the first tears from her eyes, but she knew that it would be useless before the torrent to come.
{"Oh, come ON! Give me SOME credit here!"}
Both girls stopped their anguished displays, and slowly turned to see Ranma staring flatly at them, arms crossed.
Shampoo turned back to Ukyo. {"Next time, you keep crackpot theory to self."}
Ukyo sighed. {"Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm sorry. But I believe that now we have a job to do."} She recovered her spatula from where she had dropped it on the ground. {"Oh RanCHAN, what's the meaning of this?"}
Not for the first time, Ranma marveled at the Amazons' ability to produce large weapons from nowhere as Shampoo brandished her bonbori. {"Ranma just play with Shampoo feeling, Ranma get hurt big time."}
Ranma sweatdropped. At the speed they were advancing, he wouldn't have much time to defend himself (verbally, at least). Luckily, he had an ace up his sleeve.
{"Wow, 8483z 4h0y!"}
{"Hey cutie, how 'bout we go 'upload' some 'hardware' into your 'drive', eh?"}
Both girls stopped and blinked at the unfamiliar voices, then whirled around to look at the new spectators.
{"Gyah!!"} {"Aiyah!!"} *Double-glomp*
Ranma smiled as both young women attached themselves to his sids, their faces a bit pale. Jack and Gatt stood three meters away grinning at them, the latter with his shirt off to reveal a patchwork of colorful and generally distasteful tattoos.
{"Sweet mother! Why would anyone do that to himself?!"} Ukyo exclaimed, staring at Gatt in horrified fascination.
{"What happen? It look like boy get in fight with staple gun and lose!"} Shampoo felt a bit sick looking at all the various piercings, especially those in the tongue and around the neck.
Both boys sweatdropped, looking embarrassed, humiliated, rejected, and incredibly stupid at the same time.
'Phase 1, complete.' Ranma thought, then cleared his throat. {"Yo, would you guys mind leaving now? I need to talk to the girls here."}
Both boys were quick to leave, embarrassed at the girls' reactions.
Shampoo and Ukyo watched them leave as if they were looking at the scene of a horrible accident, unable to tear their eyes away from the grotesque images set before them.
{"Girls? We need to talk."}
They oriented on Ranma immediately, never giving the newcomers another thought. Their previous anger quickly returned, though now that they had already stopped advancing on Ranma, they felt obligated to wait to hear what he had to say.
Ranma sighed. {"Look. I know that, well... for a long time now, I've been ignoring you two. Well, maybe it's not so much as NOW, as it is that I've always kind of ignored you two."}
Both girls frowned, rolling his words over in their minds, and felt their anger slowly drain away.
{"Now let's be honest. You two have always been there for me. You guys cook for me, you help me in fights, you're by my side trying to give your all 24-7. And then what do I do in return? Huh?"}
That made the girls stop frowning. Each of them were growing very, VERY curious as to where he was going with this.
{"I mean, I've acted like a complete jerk,"} Ranma admitted somberly, {"sure, you're not perfect, but it's like ALL you do is try to please me. I mean, it gets out of hand, sure, but you do all that stuff for ME."}
Ranma looked at Shampoo. {"Shampoo, you offered me a temporary cure for my curse if I went out with you. And then I broke it up to try and help Akane with a stupid mess that she got herself into anyway. I'm sorry."} He didn't bring up how Shampoo hadn't told HIM it was temporary; he was trying to make a point here.
Then he looked at Ukyo. {"Ukyo, after we met, I went out with you to try and get back at Akane for going out with Ryoga. I didn't give you or your feelings a second thought; it was just a way to get Akane mad. I'm sorry."} He didn't add that he found out later how Ukyo had set up Akane and Ryoga's date herself so that the whole thing would fall together just the way it did. Prudence was key, here.
Ranma sighed once again. {"Yeah, well, I'm done with Akane. If I touch her, she flattens me, if I insult her, she flattens me, and if I try to ignore her, she flattens me. It's a lot of trouble and no reward. I've decided it's time to move on."} He looked up at them. {"You two do so much for me, and try so hard, and I don't give nothing in return. Well, enough of that!"}
Ukyo sniffled and wiped a tear from her eye. It was so beautiful! Then she caught Shampoo's uneasy glance toward her. {"Okay... Ranchan, that's great! But... still, why are we both here?"}
Ranma scratched the back of his head nervously. {"Well, it's like this. I'm dumping Akane for good, but that don't mean I've chosen anyone, and I'm not ready for marriage. And... well... look, I can't make up for all the grief you two have been through because of... or actually, for me, but I can promise you that I'm prepared to go out with you both, get to know you, and make a fair decision. So how 'bout it? Do you guys forgive me?"} He looked up hopefully.
Ukyo couldn't help but tremble as a warm, happy glow enveloped her body. Grabbing Ranma into a loving embrace, she shouted happily, {"Of course I'll forgive you! Ranchan, there's nothing to forgive! All I ever wanted was a chance!"} She took several deep breaths in Ranma's arms before adding at a whisper, {"A real chance..."}
Shampoo's appreciation wasn't nearly so subtle. {"Shampoo forgive Ranma! Ranma make Shampoo so happy!"} Shampoo grabbed onto the other side of Ranma roughly, forcing Ukyo to give up some of her beloved's body.
As the two girls began glaring at each other, Ranma grinned widely and held them both closer to himself.
Shampoo smirked even as an electric spark formed between the two young women. {"Spatula girl have no chance. Shampoo make Ranma so happy, he no able think straight!"}
{"Oh yeah,"} Ukyo growled, {"just wait! By the time I'm done with him, he won't even remember your name!"}
Ranma chuckled lightly to himself, which both girls were far too distracted to notice. {"So, let's go get some ice cream, eh?"}
At a passing glance there was very little noticeable about her, save for the fact that she was sitting on the roof of a four-story office building. She was wearing a simple blouse and long blue skirt with long boots, complemented by long, horizontally-striped socks. Her face seemed to have an excess of eyeshadow and seemed a bit pale, but most notable of all was the long black ribbons entwined in her hair, so straight and undisturbed that they seemed to actually be a part of it.
Miho Tohya's eyes narrowed at the young man walking along in the park with the two girls in his arms.
"I see. So Largo thinks to face me after all. Very interesting."
One of her eyebrows rose as she stretched her senses out. "And such a powerful ally he has. It appears my little L33Tmaster may be more than he seems..."
The dark queen slowly brought herself to her feet, and let her gaze drop to the streets.
Sitting on a sidewalk bench, Miho noticed a short-haired girl nursing a bruised fist while half-shouting, half-muttering to herself. Next to her, a utility pole was bent at shoulder level with a huge dent in it.
"Love breeds hate, and happiness spreads discontent." The very smallest ghost of a smile crossed her face. "The storm is coming, Largo-san, and soon, the L33T will be no more. Prepare yourself..."
And with that, Tohya Miho stepped off of the building, and began a four-story descent to the hard, paved impact.