Standard disclaimer applies. Ranma belongs to the all-powerful and most revered Rumiko Takahashi. MegaTokyo belongs to Largo-san and Piro-san. This was done on a challenge. Don't sue me or flame me, I'm only partially resposible for this.

As far as continuity goes, the Ranma part takes off after the Mt. Pheonix battle and failed wedding, etc., and the MegaTokyo part right after Piro and Largo are forced onto the streets.

Key: Words in " " are English or untranslated Japanese, [ ] are signs or writing, { } is Japanese, ' ' are thoughts, ( ) are comments. Sorry about the new signs for Japanese, but I'm messing around with new formats ^_^

L33T Ranma!
Part Two
B33r, F1a|\|c335, & L33Tness...

********************************************************************************** "Dude, wake up! Come on Piro!"
Piro just mumbled in his sleep and buried his head deeper into his pillow as Largo shouted into his ear. What business that moron had getting him up at this hour was beyond him.
Suddenly his mind was forced awake and alert, as his body rolled off of the futon and onto the ground.
Largo tossed away the futon triumphantly. "Great! You're up! Come on dude, let's go!"
Piro stared at him in silence. He knew he shouldn't ask, he really did, but decided it was better to just get it over with. "Go where?"
Largo blinked, then sighed. "Have you forgotten already? We must make Ranma L33T, remember?"
Piro stared at him some more. ".......................... No. Gimme back my futon."
He was about to make a lunge for his makeshift bed, when Largo stepped in front of him. "C'mon man! Look, I would rather not have you there myself, but you're the only one who knows their stupid language. I need you to translate."
Piro rubbed the sleep from his eyes and glared at him. "Largo, I don't need this now. I didn't get much sleep last night, and at 9 I have to leave for work, anyway."
Largo frowned. "Work? How can you help me if you're at work?"
Piro gave him a look. "My point."
Piro yawned again, then snatched up his futon and started to set it out on the ground, when a thought suddenly occured to him.
"Uh... I may regret asking this, but what exactly is involved in making someone L33T?"
Largo grinned. "Simple. Games. Lots and lots of games. And I mean real games, not those wussy dating games you play. Although it takes a certain kind of person for L33T1F1C4T10|\| to work."
Piro stared at him. "Aren't you forgetting something?"
Largo blinked. "What?"
Boo suddenly popped into existence on his shoulder and held up a sign. [No PS2. No Dreamcast. No PC.]
Largo blinked. "What? They're a Nintendo family?"
Piro and Boo facefaulted. It was a lot more painful for Boo, since it sent him on a 5 foot trip to the ground.
"Have you forgotten our entire conversation yesterday? They don't have any gaming systems here." Piro stared at him incredulously.
Largo opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Eventually he settled into a thoughtful pose.
"Hmmmm... you're right. That might make this difficult. I must go meditate on the subject."
Largo turned and left the room, then stopped, went back to get Boo, and then left again.

Piro yawned again, then snuggled back under his blanket onto the futon.
*Poof*
Seraphim glanced dubiously at the door. "I have a bad feeling about this."
Piro sighed deeply. "Oh, come off it. As long as he has beer and a problem to keep him occupied, he can stay out of trouble. Besides, I've got work. Can't do a thing about it." He closed his eyes and pulled the blankets up tighter.
Seraphim jumped off his shoulder, then sat down on the edge of his futon and lit up a cigarette. "Speaking of which, it's already 8:20, and Kasumi has breakfast out already. You might want to get up and take a bath real quick." She smirked as she felt the weight on the futon shift, and the door to the bedroom slam shut.
Taking another quick puff, she tossed her cigarette away, then walked over to where Ping-chan was kneeling, her empty eyes betraying her current power status.
Seraphim jumped up her arm, then made her way to the robot girl's shoulder and flipped a switch behind her ear.
Ping-chan's eyes shot open. {Hmm? Piro-san? Largo-san?} seeing nobody, she eventually found Seraphim leaning on her neck.
{Hey, I know you! You're that tiny girl that yells at Piro all the time!}
Seraphim raised an eyebrow. {Name's Seraphim, honey. Listen, Ping, we're gonna be doing some detective work today. You up to it?}
Ping-chan blinked, then nodded happily. {Okay!} turning around, she disconnected her power cord before bringing Seraphim up on her shoulder
__________________________________________________________________________________

{Did you sleep well, Piro-san?} Kasumi laid out a bowl of miso soup before him, which he accepted gratefully.
{Yes, thank youk Tendo-san.} It wasn't true, but then, he was only trying to be polite.

Over at the other end of the table, Ranma seemed to be having a conversation with himself. Upon closer inspection, it would be revealed that he was in fact talking to a tiny girl on his shoulder. However, nobody at the table was totally unused to such things, so they ignored it completely.

{But how am I not supposed to fight? People keep attacking me!} Ranma was sitting at the opposite end of the table from Genma, so for once he was actually enjoying a meal.
Usagi frowned. {Use your words. Talk to them, find out what their problems are and try other ways of solving them.}
Ranma downed the last of his miso soup. {Their problem is that I'm ALIVE. There's only one way to solve that, unfortunately.}
Piro got up, thanked Kasumi, and left. Usagi's forehead wrinkled in thought.
Finally, Nabiki got curious enough to ask. {Who's the little lady, Saotome?}
Ranma turned to her. {She's my new conscience. Usagi, meet Nabiki Tendo.}
Usagi gasped. {Wow, you're THE Nabiki Tendo?! An entire 1/3 of our company quit because of you!}
Ranma struggled to hold in laughter. Nabiki frowned.
{Well, that's what happens when you have a company run by purely ethical beings. I'm surprised it's still in business. I thought other people couldn't see someone's conscience, though.}
Usagi blinked, then groaned and pulled out a small book entitled 'Moral Guidance: For Dummies'. {Ooooh... did I mess up already? First day on the job too......}
Before anyone could continue, Kasumi interrupted the conversation. {Has anyone seen Largo-san? He hasn't come down for breakfast.}
Akane nodded. {I saw him leaving the house when I took my jog this morning. He had the cutest little hamster on his shoulder too!}
Usagi tossed away the book. {Never mind! I guess it's okay then!}
__________________________________________________________________________________

Largo absently took a sip of beer as he plodded down the sidewalk, a little wagon full of more booze and a pile of ice right behind him. Boo lay on his shoulder, totally wasted, having had his fill of beer already.
Largo was pondering over a problem. The problem was that he lacked games and gaming systems. Without them, he could not make Ranma L33T.
Most people would've simply given up and gone home. But Largo was better than that. He wasn't going to let such a minor obstacle stop him.
Besides, his home was several thousand miles across the Pacific ocean.
"Now let's see...... how do I get phr33 g4|\/|3z? If Junpei was here I could just borrow some... hmmmm......" he took another sip of beer. Beer always helped him think. Or at least didn't make him think any worse. He forgot which one it was.
Largo stopped, and suddenly looked at the beer he was toting around. Inspiration hit. "Wait! I got free beer, right? How did that happen?"
He looked toward Boo. Boo looked up for a moment, before comprehension dawned. The miniature giant space hamster began writing clumsily on a sign, then held it up.
Largo had to squint to read it. "Huh? 'Liquor store exploded'? That's right! So all I have to do is hang around a gaming store and wait for it to explode!" Largo quickly looked around and located one next to a fortune-telling booth and a golf shop. (Possible important plot device? ..................................... Nah.)
Boo struggled to work through Largo's logic, the alcohol clouding his normal thought patterns. He held up a sign. [Chances of that happening?]
Largo blinked. "Ah...... I don't know. I've never been good with numbers."

"Baksai ten ketsu!" The wall of the shop exploded outward, and Ryoga stepped through, lost as usual.

Boo stared in disbelief. Largo grinned triumphantly as he entered and started to collect various gaming items.
"Lessee.... Playstation 2, Sega Dreamcast, Game Boy Advance...... now for some games and accessories!" Largo turned to the proper area, only to find the items locked behind a glass door.
Largo was about to go search for the key, when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around.
"Hey, you're the dood that was fighting Ranma before!"
Ryoga stopped, then growled as he heard the name "Ranma". {Where is Ranma!}
Largo blinked. "Sorry dude, me no speaka le Japanesa."
Ryoga scratched his head as he tried to figure out what this guy was saying. He had picked up a little English on the several occasions where he had gotten lost in the U.S. and Britain, but this guy was speaking very oddly. "Me sorry. Where Ranma?"
Largo stopped for a moment, then frowned in deep thought. Then, just as Ryoga had figured he had screwed up the message and was about to leave, Largo clapped him on the shoulder.
Largo pointed to himself. "Me show Ranma if you break glass." 'Ignorant barbarians.'
He pointed to the glass case, and made a punching gesture. Ryoga understood, and smashed the case easily.
Largo briefly wondered what Boo was trying to tell him this time as he started loading the games into a shopping cart. Something about stealing. Oh well, he'd worry about that later.
Ryoga waited none-too-patiently as Largo finished "shopping". "Where Ranma?"
Largo put the gaming systems in the cart, then shoved it into Ryoga, who grabbed it. "You carry. Largo show Ranma. Understand?"
Ryoga grimaced, but nodded. He hated being used as some kind of pack animal, but this guy knew where Ranma was, so he didn't really have a choice, unless he wanted to search for another 2 weeks, which he didn't.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Largo entered the house as Ryoga stood outside. "Yo! I'm home! Anybody here?"
Kasumi opened the door and bowed. {Ah, you're back.} stepping back, she gestured for him to enter.
Ryoga stared at him as Largo grabbed the cart, then pulled it into the house. Largo turned back to his porter, annoyed. "What's wrong with you? I took you to the dojo, didn't I?" Largo wheeled the cart into the living room, leaving large black marks on the freshly polished floors.
Kasumi blinked. Oh dear! She'd have to mop again.
Ryoga shook his head at the gaijin's stupidity. He'd never been very predjudiced, as he met with foreigner frequently and most of them weren't that bad, but he was beginning to think that some of the things he heard others say about Americans were true.
Looking around, the eternally lost boy decided to sit around and wait, seeing how he might get lost again if he moved. He didn't have to wait long, as Ranma's form was soon visible sailing overhead.

Inside the house, Largo began connecting the various systems and adapters to the TV, ignoring Boo's ethical protests and Ranma landing outside.
He began searching the titles as the sounds of combat started up in the front yard. "Hmmmm...... King of Fighters, Capcom vs. SNK, Marvel vs. Capcom II, Street Fighter 3rd Strike, Armored Core II...... Ugh, what's this? Kessen? Army Men? Junk. Lessee... Yech. Dating games. I'll leave 'em for Piro to rifle through. Ah, here we go! FPS! We've got some Quake, Half-Life, Onimusha... Sw33t! Resident Evil!"
Largo left the room and went out to the front yard. As soon as he opened the door it was blown of its hinges, and he was nearly taken with it as incredibly powerful winds swept through the yard.
Largo backed off for a moment, then watched as the winds died down to reveal Ranma in the middle of a crater, with a single fist outstretched.
"Sw33t! Hey Karate dood! Ranma! C'mere!"
Ranma blinked, then looked to see that Largo was beckoning him.
As he walked over, Kasumi noticed the doorway was bereft of its door. {Oh my! Ranma, what are you doing home so early? Oh, looks like these hinges need to be replaced too.}
Ranma scratched his head nervously. {Ah, Ukyou tried to feed me and Akane got angry. Oh, uh, sorry about the door Kasumi.} He was about to follow Largo inside when he felt a glare on him and noticed Usagi giving him a look from atop his shoulder.
{Uh... oh yeah, don't worry Kasumi, let me take care of that.}
Kasumi smiled at him warmly. {Thank you Ranma, but that won't be necessary.}
Ranma felt the heat of Usagi's stare on his neck, daring him to accept. {No Kasumi, I insis-HEY!} Ranma suddenly felt himself being pulled into the house, and turned to see Largo dragging him into the living room.
{What're you doin?} Ranma easily removed himself from the American's grip, then noticed the several gaming systems lying around on the floor. {What? Where'd you get all this stuff?}
Largo sighed. "Man, for once I wish Piro was here. Look dude, I want you to play all these games, all right? You'a be'a understanding'a me'a?"
Ranma stood there blankly. Then Usagi spoke. {He says he wants you to play those games.}
Ranma turned toward her. {You speak English?}
Usagi blushed and nodded. {Uh huh. It comes with the territory.}
Largo blinked. "Hey, you got one of those consciences too, huh? Pretty cool, aren't they?" he watched as the tiny blond girl whispered something in Ranma's ear.
{Yeah. Why do you want me to play these games?}
"He asked why you want him to play these games."
Largo grinned. "Hey, you can speak English! Sw33t! Tell him it's 'cause he must be L33T!"
Usagi blinked. "What?"
"He must be L33T!"
"What's L33T?"
Largo glared at the little girl on his apprentice's shoulder. Figures that the only translator had to be a blond. Here he was trying to train his protege, and she was asking stupid questions, like what 'L33T' was.
"Look, just tell him,okay?"
Usagi shifted uncomfortably. "But I can't! There is no Japanese word for 'L33T'!"
"Do it anyway!"
She sighed. {He wants you to become 'L33T'.}
Largo watched intently as Ranma blinked. "Nani? L33T?"
Ranma sighed and said something else. Usagi turned to Largo. "He says he's sorry, but he has more important things to do than play video games."
Ranma turned to leave, and had almost made it out of the living room, when inspiration struck Largo. It was a long shot, but......
"Hey, wait! Tell him that I challenge him to Capcom vs. SNK!!"
Ranma didn't stop until Usagi said something in Japanese. Then he turned around, and crossed his arms over his chest arrogantly.
"Ranma asks: Does it have anything to do with martial arts?"
Largo gave him a flat look. "Well, duh. It's a martial arts game."
Ranma yelled something. Usagi turned to Largo with a look of fierce determination. "He says you're on!"
Largo grinned and offered him a controller. Time to show the rookie how it was done.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Piro grunted as he finished moving the last box of old stock into the back, then prepared to move the new games to the shelves. He didn't mind the hard work, but Erika had started getting on his case about wearing the Puchiko tail again, and that had significantly hindered both his progress and his mood.
He nearly dropped the box on his feet when Ping-chan appeared behind a corner. {Hello Piro-kun!}
As it was, Piro did stumble, and quickly set the box on the floor. {Ping-chan? What are you doing here? Is that Seraphim?} the two-inch conscience nodded.
Seraphim lit up a cigarette and looked at him. "My my, wish I'd brought a camera. Cute getup, Piro."
Piro blushed, then set his Puchiko hat down and ripped off the tail. {So, what brings you two here?}
Seraphim took a puff from the cigarette. {We spent the morning following Largo around town. He's run out of beer. Not only that, but he's acquired several game systems and games.}
Piro blinked. {What? How? We're flat broke!}
Seraphim glanced around. {Well... it doesn't matter how he got them. Truth is, he wasn't responsible for the damage done this time.}
Piro sighed in relief and sat down on the box. {Well, than I don't see what the problem is. Unless the authorities are gonna be after him, won't the games just keep him occupied?}
Seraphim leaned back against Ping-chan's neck and took a few steady puffs. {I suppose...... still, I have a bad feeling about this.}
Piro put the Puchiko hat back on and lifted the box. {So, you two see anything else that was interesting?}
{Saotome-kun made a tornado!} Ping-chan said happily.
This time Piro did drop the box on his foot.
"OW!!! God-damn ragasfraggin......" His voice trailed off as he started muttering curses quietly.
Seraphim giggled.
Piro fumed for a moment, then turned to Ping-chan. {What do you mean, he made a tornado? You don't mean a real tornado, do you?}
Seraphim tossed her cigarette butt on the ground, then lit up another. {That's right. Saotome seems like a pretty tough guy. And his ass is to DIE for!}
Both Piro and Ping-chan sweatdropped. Well, Piro sweatdropped. Ping-chan didn't have the necessary technology, so she just looked at Seraphim oddly.
Piro coughed slightly as a wisp of smoke passed by him, then realized something. {Uh, Seraphim, you're not supposed to smoke in here.}
She glared at him. {What? You got something against smoking?}
Piro gulped slightly, then pointed to a sign posted high on the wall. {It's store policy. See?}
Seraphim rolled her eyes. {Gimme a break. Am I supposed to care, or what?}
At that moment, enough smoke gathered against the ceiling that the automatic sprinklers suddenly came to life, spraying the entire store with water. Several shoppers cried out in panic and outrage as they were doused.
Piro gave Seraphim a 'I told you so' stare.
Seraphim herself was fuming. "All right, all right, I-OUCH!!" She jumped up involuntarily as an arc of electricity shot into her.
Piro gasped as Ping-chan got an empty look in her eyes and started shaking as electricity shot around her.
"Get her out of the water! NOW!!" Piro ran forward and tackled her out of the stoor, quickly pulling himself away before he could get burned too badly.
Seraphim gulped and gave a goodbye wave before disappearing in a flash.

{ALL RIGHT, WHO DID THAT?!?!}
Piro was only familiar with female fury through anime such as Tenchi and Urusei Yatsura (no, he didn't watch Ranma 1/2. That would make this more complicated than necessary), but after seeing Erika walk out of the store soaked to the bone, he decided it was an experience few people could possibly deserve.
Erika's hair was hanging down on her face in wet tendrils, and her normal working outfit, which was tight and revealing as it was, was now clinging to her like a second skin. Those male spectators who weren't attracted to the scene by the waterworks (this WAS Nerima, after all), were busying themselves leering at her.
She directed a sub-zero glare at Piro. {Piro-KUN, you wouldn't happen to know what set off the sprinklers, now would you?}
Piro froze in his position on his back, his concern for Ping-chan momentarily overrun by his concern for his own life. Looking around, he quickly located the cigarette butt that Seraphim had discarded. {There! Someone was smoking inside!}
Erika glanced at the cigarette, then narrowed her eyes at Piro.
He gulped. {I don't smoke!!}
She decided to give him the benefit of the doubt this time, but gave him a look that promised severe injury if she ever found out he was lying.

Piro wiped the sweat from his forehead, then remembered Ping-chan. "Aw geez... she's not breathing!" {Does anyone know CPR?!}
Piro then remembered something important. {Uh... wait... never mind...}
Looking down at her, Piro pondered how to resuscitate an android. Luckily, he didn't have to think very long.
"Ite!" Ping-chan stood up and dusted herself off. Then she noticed Piro looking at her. {Don't worry Piro-kun, it's just a minor short circuit, I'm fine now!}
An eavesdropper shook his head and started walking away. {Figures. She must be a Sony.}
Piro looked at Ping-chan worriedly. {Are you sure you're all right?}
Ping-chan nodded. "Hai! Domou arigatou, Piro-kun!"
There was some yelling from inside the store, and Piro looked back at it. {Ping-chan, I've got a lot of work to do, I'll meet you back at the dojo, okay? Until then, please stay there, all right?}
Ping-chan nodded her assent and left. Piro sighed and trudged back into Megagamers, vowing to get on Seraphim's case for once, after she showed up again.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Ranma gaped openly at the screen as his character went flying off the screen, courtesy of Largo. "Ha ha ha! Super combo finish, man! You suck at this game, dude!"
Despite all his efforts, Ranma had been on a steady losing streak ever since they started. Ranma was undoubtedly 1000 times better at martial arts, but for some reason the game didn't think so.
{That's not fair! How come he can go under my ki blast like that?!}
Usagi blinked. {Wow, that was cool......} Ranma glared at her, then sighed as the second round started up.
The second round was even shorter, as Ranma's every move and defense was instantly thwarted and turned into a punishing combo. In 40 seconds, the game was over.
"YES!! PH33R MY L33T IORI S|<1LLZ!!!" Largo posed in triumph. Ranma sat under him, grinding his teeth as he fumed.
Largo calmed down, then turned back to Ranma, an incredibly smug look on his face. "You're no match for me, dude. You need more practice. Only through total mastery of these games can L33Tness be attained! I want you to continue playing these games, until you can last against me until the timer runs out. Meatball head, if you would translate please."
Usagi glared at him for calling her meatball head, but relayed his intstructions, slipping in a few "bakas" when referring to Largo.
Ranma sighed to himself as Largo walked off to raid the kitchen for more beer, then picked up the controller and started playing.

Usagi sat on his shoulder. {These games are pretty neat. I wonder where he got them?}
Ranma shrugged. {I don't see what good practice will do me though. The AI's no good at all.} Ranma mercilessly stormed through the computer opponents, executing several flawless combos and always ending with super combos. (For those of you that are wondering, he's playing Capcom vs. SNK for Dreamcast.)
Behind him, Kasumi opened up the newly replaced door and greeted the visitor. {Why hello Ping-chan, how was your day?}
Ranma continued playing as Ping-chan replied and then left for the room she shared with Largo and Piro.
Then something occured to him. He turned toward Usagi. {Hey, isn't there supposed to be a bad side to the conscience too? You know, a little devil or something to be on my other shoulder?}
There was a gout of flames, and a girl with long black hair appeared on his other shoulder. {Yeah, what of it?} Rei asked.
Usagi glared at her. Ranma asked, {Where were you?}
Rei yawned and leaned into his ear. {Unlike meatball head over there, I've got other clients too, so I can't be on your case to do evil 24/7. What do you need guidance on?}
Ranma blinked. {Oh, uh... well Largo keeps beating me at this game, what should I do?}
{Practice!} Usagi piped up.
{Beat him to a bloody pulp and leave his body in a ditch. Now if you'll excuse me, somebody at Cavedog is making an important decision. Ciao, people.} She dissapeared in a blaze of fiery red.
Usagi rolled her eyes. {She's not very good at her job, but at least that makes mine easier. I could use a break though. Call me if you make any decisions involving right and wrong, okay?} She disappeared in a silver-white flash.
{Uh, right.} It's not like Ranma wasn't used to girls crawling all over him, but he was still building up his tolerance to this new brand of weirdness. Sighing deeply, he turned back to the game.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Sorry Largo, but we can't buy beer. I haven't been paid yet, remember? You'll just have to make do without it."
Largo blinked, then nodded at Piro. "I see. I ph33r I shall have to s33|< m0r3 b33r. I will b3 b4c|<."
"Take your time," muttered Piro as Largo walked out of the house.
Trudging into the living room, Piro stopped as he watched Ranma beat down the final boss in King of Fighters. "Huh. I guess he did find some gaming systems."
Ranma turned and greeted him. {Hey Piro. How was work?}
Piro sighed. {My conscience was smoking and set off the sprinklers. Most of our customers got soaked and complained to the manager. I spent most of the day wiping down shelves.}
{That sucks.} Ranma turned off the TV. {I'm bored as hell. You wanna play some of this?}
"Konbanwa Piro-kun!" Ping-chan ran into the room, and quickly bowed to Piro.
Piro looked from her, to the multitude of gaming systems, to the copy of To Heart lying in a pile out of the way of Largo's games.
Piro smiled. {Ping-chan, why don't we give you a test run, hmm?}

30 minutes later......
Ranma had long ago figured out that Piro was playing a dating game. Why anyone would play a game that involved dating, let alone based on it, he still didn't understand, but there you go.
Piro was also apparently very good at it. He quickly singled out a girl, found out what she liked, and then turned into the perfect model boyfriend for her. He only seemed slightly disoriented, and that was because Ping-chan was sitting next to him, and would start mimicking whatever girl he was talking to at the time.
{So... in 'To Heart' the goal is to get as many chicks to fall for you as you can?}
Piro shook his head. {No, the goal is to choose a single girl and develop a relationship with her. Really, you want to try to avoid having more than one girl fall for you, as that would lead to a jealous breakup, probably on both sides.}
Ranma scratched his head at that. Made sense, in a way. Maybe this could help him somehow.
{So in this game, when the girls get jealous, do they dump you, or do they kill you?}
Piro stared at him. {Uh... they dump you. You wanna try?}
Ranma shrugged and took the controller as Piro reset the machine. {Now don't try to get into this early on. Don't try to focus on one girl or anything, just walk around, explore, and above all, be yourself.} Piro reflected on how that wasn't how he had gotten so good at these, then shrugged it off. Ranma was a beginner, after all.

5 minutes later......
{That's amazing...} Piro stared rather drunkedly at the screen, as a small crowd of schoolgirls all started arguing. In 5 minutes, starting at the beginning of the game, Ranma had somehow managed to completely seduce over half of the female characters. He was just glad this wasn't an H game, or Ranma would've gotten somebody pregnant by now. Most likely multiple somebody's. He didn't want to know how that would turn out.
Ranma was panicking. He had no idea how he was doing so badly. Or so well. He didn't really know which it was, but he did know that in real life, having a large group of girls that are all enamored with you in one place was a bad thing, so he tried to diffuse the situation.
He was amazed by the realism that the simulation offered as the situation turned on him just as quickly as it did in real life.
{Augh! They're attacking me! Gotta run! They've cut my health gauge in half already!}
Piro sweatdropped. {Health gauge? This game doesn't have a health gauge! Well, I mean, I never knew there was a health gauge......}
Piro heard a strange noise, then turned around. Ping-chan looked like she was having a seizure. Little sparks were coming from the long cylinders that were attached to her ears, and smoke was coming out of her collar. 'Uh oh, the short circuit! There must've been some damage!' {Ping! Ping, are you okay?!}
In the meantime, Ranma had managed to escape the mob, and was standing near a tree on the outside of a school. {Man, I wish this loser I'm playing had some martial arts moves. I can't even jump or anything!}
Had he been paying attention, he would've noticed he had just stopped at an all-girl's school. As it was though, there was only one girl outside at the moment. Unfortunately, it was a girl that he had already met before.
Onscreen, the Akari homed in on him with a powerful glomp attack, and in Ranma's state of confusion and relief, he had no chance to avoid it.
A final jolt of electricity ran through Ping-chan, and her eyes glazed over. {SYSTEM MALFUNCTION! E.M.S. PROTOCOL ERROR! COMPENSATING.......} the metallic, empty voice faded, and Ping-chan's eyes returned to normal.
Piro sighed as she seemed to be alright. {Ping, are you oka-} He was cut off as the malfunctioning Sony product suddenly leapt for Ranma, tackling him in a flying hug. "Ranma-sama!!!"
Ranma was caught off guard both by the hug and Ping-chan's surprising strength, and started to wave his arms around in panic.
Piro, for one, didn't completely know what was going on, and so tried to help by relieving Ranma of the controller so he could concentrate fully on getting himself out of whatever was happening.
{Ack! Ping, come on! What are you doing?!} Ping-chan declined to reply, instead tightening her hold and rubbing her face into his chest affectionately.
Piro was momentarily distracted from the scene by what was going on in the game. "Nani?"
Ranma looked at him. {What? What's going on?}
Piro shook his head. {Oh, nothing really. You must have pushed a wrong button or something. You're proposing to Akari right now.}
Ranma sweatdropped. {Proposing?! What?!}
Piro smiled reassuredly at him, then turned back to the screen. {Don't worry, in the game you two hardly know each other, so... she'll...... just............ accept?} The last word was said with very large eyes.
Ranma just frowned. {Yeah, that's one helluva game all right.}
Then the pressure around his body was suddenly lifted.
Ranma was very glad to be free of Ping-chan's grip, that is, until he found himself staring into a pair of big, watery, light blue eyes.
Ping-chan sniffled slightly as she embraced that moment that so many women dreamed of. {Ranma-sama, of course I'll marry you!} Then she glomped him again.
Piro stared at the scene, and slowly backed away, lest he get involved and become a casualty. 'I can't believe this is actually happening. This is all Seraphim's fault. Though she'll probably find a way to blame it on me anyways.'

Naturally, Akane had just happened to stop by to inform Ranma that dinner was ready, and was of course greeted by the scene and sound of Ping-chan shouting {Ranma-sama, of course I'll marry you!} and grabbing him in a hug. To say that she was outraged was to say that Antarctica was kind of chilly.
"Ranma..." Said person turned to see what would have appeared to be a vengeful valkyrie from heaven (or an especially nasty demon from hell, you decide), had he not been treated to the sight on many other occasions.
"No......" Piro idly wondered where Akane could have hidden a mallet that big as he further distanced himself from Ranma. His earlier deduction about female fury had apparently been confirmed.
"BAKA!!!!" Ranma didn't even bother to stutter out his usual 'Akane, wait, I can explain', as the mallet sent him flying out of Ping-chan's arms and through the wall into the backyard. It certainly wouldn't have done him any good. Besides, this time he really couldn't explain what had happened.
Ping-chan gasped as her new husband-to-be was sent flying outside (somehow Ranma had been struck while she had remained unscathed) Ping-chan turned toward the assailant angrily. {Who are you? Why did you do that?}
Akane glared at the robot girl in fron of her. {I'm Akane Tendo, and I did that because he proposed to you when he was already engaged!}
Ping-chan stood up. {That's his business, not yours! I won't allow you to hurt my beloved!} Without waiting for a reply, Ping-chan jumped through the hole Ranma's passage had made in the wall.

Piro heard the front door open and close with a slam, and Largo came into the house, carrying a hand truck stacked with cases of liquor.
Instead of berating him for being rude to their hosts by entering without notice and leaving more tire marks on the floor, Piro instead glanced at the cases of booze. "Another liquor store blew up?"
Largo nodded with a smile, then held up a black piglet with a yellow and black bandanna for a collar. "Uh huh. Hey, did you know that if you pour water on the Hibiki dude, he turns into a pig? Cool, huh?"
Piro sweatdropped as Ryoga thrashed around in his grip. "Uh, yeah, that's nice. However, we have a bit of a situation here."
Largo dropped Ryoga, who ran over to Akane and tried to get her attention, failing miserably as Akane was engrossed watching Ping-chan affectionately tend to Ranma's wounds.
"Dude! Check it out! She's glowing red! You think she's a Kusanagi?" Largo was impressed.
Piro took him aside for a moment. "Look. Ping had a short circuit, and now, somehow, she thinks that Ranma proposed to her. Ranma is already engaged. We've gotta do something."
Largo suddenly looked serious. "I'll take care of it. You put away the beer."
Piro blinked, then wondered if he should have done that.

Ranma was confused. He'd spent a lot of time in this particular state of mind, so it was really no big deal, but it was, by the nature of the emotion, disorienting. The last thing he remembered was that Ping-chan had accepted the 'engagement' and Akane had gone into berserker mode. Now Ping was saying soothing, reassuring things as she applied an ice pack to his bruises, his head in her lap.
Not being able to figure out how this happened, Ranma tried to find something else to concentrate on. Genma and Soun approaching and looking very angry seemed just as good as anything.
{Boy, how dare you run off and get yourself engaged again!} Genma yelled as he stood up and tried to look intimidating.
Soun's demon head had a far better effect in that area. {Ranma, you had better have a good explanation for this!!!}
Ranma was about to simply say that he didn't know what was going on, when something under his head shifted, and Genma and Soun were suddenly flying into the koi pond.
{You leave poor Ranma-sama alone! He's injured!} Ping-chan walked to Ranma to finish.
{Ah, actually I'm fine now. Thanks but I take Akane's hits all the time and-} Ranma's speech was cut off as Ping-chan held a finger to his lips.
{You mean that nasty woman hits you often? Well don't worry, I'll nurse you back to health and make sure she never touches you again!} Ranma appreciated that someone was on his side for once, he really did, but that didn't make his current situation much easier to deal with.
Ping suddenly stopped patting his forehead with her damp cloth as Largo approached. {What, do you want to hurt Ranma-sama too? If you do, I'm warning you......}
Largo didn't even bother to acknowledge that the foreign gibberish was directed toward him, and just walked past Ranma and hit the switch behind Ping-chan's ear.
Her body fell limp. Largo picked her up onto one shoulder, then pointed to Ranma. "Marvel. Capcom. Now."
Then he turned around and left. Ranma sat up. {Now what just happened?}
Usagi suddenly appeared on his shoulder. {Hello! Did I miss anything important?}

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End Chapter 2