Disclaimer: Death to the False Emperor! Death to the weakling Imperium of Man! Death to that guy who always orders pizza with no sauce! It's PIZZA!! You can't have pizza without sauce! It's just not right!
On a different note, I have had multiple requests over the years to repair the general formatting of my stories over ff.net. I would like to divulge once and for all that the overall single-spacing of the stories is deliberate, I have no idea why this is a problem for some people, and I will not change it. As for the scene breaks and sounds (noise or dialogue being transmitted by or through artificial means), these things were represented through underscores and asterisks, respectively, and still are. However, at some point in the past, the idiots at ff.net decided it would be prudent to have their damnable document uploader automatically erase these symbols, such that there's no conceivable way for me to produce them in the final product.
I have asked them about this anomaly with no response. If my readers wish to view the unmolested version, it is recommended that they visit my home site at https://www.angelfire.com/anime5/fanficlair

Guardian
Chapter 19
Upgrades

**********************************************************************************

Mizu sighed despondently to herself as she drove the regular officers of the DAPC down a side road, carefully hugging the lane separators in an attempt to keep the Rhino transport's impressive bulk from crowding any of the other cars off the road.
In the rear, the official officers of the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment sat in a nervous silence, punctuated with Ranma's occasional groan or hiss of pain as Sakura applied disinfectant to his back.
It wasn't long before Tycho reached his tolerance for quiet. "C'mon! Let me drive! Please?"
The sudden outburst startled Mizu, but the raven-haired soldier simply grit her teeth and continued driving, not indulging Tycho's impatience.
"I swear I won't hit anything! Well... I mean, I swear I'll do my best not to hit anything! Whaddya say?" Tycho pleaded, smiling awkwardly.
"I say can it, Wattai," Tiro said irritably. "I'd much rather spend an extra half-hour getting back to HQ than risk this heap finally falling apart. How do you even GET a hundred and twenty miles an hour out of a heavily armored transport?"
"Practice!" the driver said proudly, only to receive glares from the others. "Okay, okay. Look, I said I was sorry! And I must maintain that my intentions were pure! That unfrozen killer dinosaur was seconds away from ripping you open like a Christmas present!"
"Yes, so thoughtful of you," Junko said sarcastically, "it would have been nicer if you had taken the time to think of a plan rather than trying to run us over."
"I was aiming for the dinosaur!" The driver protested.
"Very, very poorly," Ranma remarked. "Ow! Isn't that a little much?"
Sakura winced. "S-Sorry... i-it's a very w-wide... um... abrasion." The squad medic stumbled over the words as her vision swam, desperately trying to focus past the blood on Ranma's back to do the basic disinfectant and bandage application.
"Well, AGAIN, sorry!" Tycho growled. "Oh, and by the way? You're welcome for missing you guys by a hair's width and distracting the allosaurus long enough for Kotetsu to shoot it!"
"'Missing' us?" Mizu almost snarled, startling the others with her sudden decision to participate in the argument. "You unintentionally hit the ramp just fast enough to pass over the tops of our heads, and then you plowed right into Ranma and smashed him into a wall!"
Tycho shrugged. "He got better. Besides, when has Saotome ever gotten through a major operation without being injured?"
"It was a while ago," Ranma admitted. "I think it was also the first time we completed an objective without destroying a civilian building." Then he glared at the ponytailed man. "But it would still be nice to go a whole week without having to pluck pieces of metal out of my ribcage. Ooh! Careful!"
Sakura winced and apologized again as she wound the gauze around Ranma's shoulders. Behind her, Junko alternated between giving Tycho dirty looks and trying to get a good look at the parts of Ranma's shirtless torso that didn't have bloody wounds on them.
"You're right, okay? I should've been more careful," Tycho said simply, smiling as if the admission put the entire case to rest. "Now let's let bygones be bygones and then let ME take control of the-"
"WHOA!!" Tiro suddenly shouted, startling everyone as he pointed to something outside the front window. "Stop the car! Er... transport! Whatever! Just pull over!"
"What? Is there a babe sunbathing out there or something?" Tycho asked, trying to get a good look at where Tiro was pointing from his less advantageous seat.
Mizu frowned. "What's this all about? I don't see anything..."
She didn't hesitate when Ranma growled, however.
"I see them," the pigtailed man muttered as he put his shirt back on. "Let's go."

Even when Mizu had figured out what it was Tiro had seen, she had no idea what the fuss was about; set apart from the flow of traffic, parked on the edge of an old, dirty lot was a man in a small car talking to two other men who were wearing all-black business suits, complete with black ties and black shoes. One of them had a pair of sunglasses on in the same color scheme, while the other had an identical pair clasped over the edge of his suit pocket.
'They must be Yakuza, with those sunglasses...' thought Mizu, though she was grasping at the only discernable solution that explained why Ranma was cracking his knuckles as he approached the group. The others followed behind him, less prepared for violence but obviously not happy.
'It's odd, though... Yakuza don't usually dress THAT nicely. Nor would they operate in this part of the city... plus, the guy doesn't really look scared or angry...'

It wasn't long before one of the well-dressed men noticed that they were being approached, and he gasped in surprise before quickly alerting his companion.
The driver, who was quite new to Tokyo, and in fact the planet Earth as well, stopped to look at what the Terran authorities were whispering about, but all he saw were five police officers approaching, followed by a sixth confused-looking police officer.
"Look, I don't care what the manual says," the man with glasses said to his companion, "we are SO outta here!"
"But-"
"No! No 'buts'! We're leaving! We're leaving right-HELLO OFFICER!" The bespectacled man said suddenly, moving past his partner and waving to the quickly approaching police. "Is there something we can help you with?"
Ranma stopped cracking his knuckles and flexed his fingers dangerously. "Well, well, well. Lookie what we got here, guys! Either we stumbled upon a super-secret alien control organization, or there's a cosplay festival around here!"
"Maybe we can direct you gentlemen to the nearest Men's Wearhouse?" Tycho said, pulling out his sidearm and switching off the safety. "'Cause this is DA turf, fellas."
The Man in Black with his glasses still on held up his hands in a placating manner. "Now, officers, please. We really don't want any trouble. In fact, we were just lea-OOF!!" That same man crumpled up and fell to the ground as Ranma slammed his arm into his gut, and then shouted out in pain as Tiro kicked him in the side when he was down.
"Hey! HEY! HEY!! What's the deal?!" His partner shouted, backing away as Ranma and Tycho advanced.

Junko crossed her arms under her breasts as she frowned at the man in the car. "Hmph. So, what's your story?"
The "man" blinked, and then chuckled. "Oh. Well, I'm somewhat embarrassed. You see, I'm really not used to driving yet, and I dislike high speed. I'm afraid I was going so slowly that I was drawing attention to myself, and these two agents arrived to assist me. Are you here to help them?"
"We're here to help them get lost," Sakura said sternly. "So where are you from? Mars?"
The driver blinked again. "Alpha Centauri Prime, the Tethodian continent. Have you heard of it?"
"Oh God, ACP? Why do we get all the freaks from Planet Loser?" Junko mumbled quite loudly enough for the alien to hear. "So are you supposed to be a slime in a human suit, or what?"
The alien looked far more uncertain now, and stewed a bit before answering. "Well... uh... insectoid, actually."
"Oh, gross!" Sakura blanched and made a choking gesture. "I HATE giant bugs!" Frowning in disgust, the blonde woman took out two cans of Raid All-Purpose poison spray from nowhere and started to shake them liberally.
"H-Hey! Wait a minute! Wh-What are you doing?! I didn't-" *Pssssssssssht!* "GWAH!! GACK!! HACK!! BLAUGHK!!"

"So! What do you say to the nice officer who's going to let you go home today with all your bones unbroken?" Tycho asked the groaning MiB agent whom Ranma was holding up against the wall with one hand.
"S-Sorry... about... sorry a-about tresp*Cough!*p-passing on your t-turf, officer-san," the agent sputtered, trembling and wincing from the pain of a black eye, a bruised shoulder, and several punches to the abdomen.
"That's 'officer-sama' to you, dweeb," Ranma growled. Then he let the man go, backing off as the agent fell haphazardly down the side of the building and onto the ground.
Tiro grinned and crossed his arms over his chest. "Now, you just get a warning this time, because you seem to be new, and because Snake isn't here to escalate this."
Tycho nodded sagely. "Oh yeah. I still wonder what ever happened to that last guy..."
"Well, what normally happens to people who are shot out of artillery cannons toward the ocean?" Ranma said sarcastically, sweatdropping.
"Well... yeah, I mean, I know that. But still, do you think he flew through any buildings on his way there?"
By this time, the beat-up agent was shaking perceptibly, and he slowly climbed to his feet before coughing into his hand.
Ranma, Tiro, and Tycho all turned to look at him immediately, each with his own disdainful sneer.
Wiping off the blood he had coughed onto his hand, the agent reached into his pocket and withdrew a small, silver cylinder. "I'm v-very sorry about the v-violation. And, uh, in r-return for your l-lenience, I would like to offer you something."
The three officers each raised a single eyebrow as the man shakily reached into his pocket and then put on his sunglasses, before holding the cylinder toward them such that they were faced with a thin red lens.
"Minor brain wipe. No charge," the Man in Black spat as he flipped the switch on the neuralizer, activating it.
*Pshoof!*
The agent bigsweated. He hadn't seen the pigtailed man move, but his hand was now covering the top of the neuralizer, and none of the DAPC officers had the dazed, lost expression that the instant-amnesiacs usually sported.
"Uh... does this mean I can't leave with all my bones unbroken?" the agent said, practically whimpering as he spoke.
*Crunch!* He got his answer as Ranma crushed the head of the neuralizer in his fist... along with the agent's thumb and forefinger.
"Mommy..."
__________________________________________________________________________________

Kyle sat up suddenly on his cot, his mouth and eyes wide open, as if in shock.
*Good... you're awake. Stand up.*
Kyle twitched. He was in a room. A small room with bald, metal walls. He was sitting on a hard cot with a small sheet and foam block pillow. And there was a loud, static-filled voice behind him telling him what to do.
*Stand up.*
Kyle twitched again. Why was he here? What was happening? And why was his head swimming like it was?
*I said, stand up... command: stand up!*
The annoying voice continued to shout. Where was it coming from?
*STAND UP NOW! PUT YOUR FEET ON THE FLOOR AND STAND! DO YOU NOT SPEAK JAPANESE OR SOMETHING?!*
Kyle frowned. The voice sounded upset now. Was the voice inside his head? It seemed so, but at the same time, he knew that it was coming from outside, also.
*...... Simon says stand up?*
Kyle hopped off the cot and stood up straight, blinking as he heard a garbled sigh from the speaker above him.
*Okay, now Simon says you will accept his commands without Simon saying "Simon says," because otherwise Simon is going to get sick of this, and turn you into genetically enhanced ground meat to feed to the V-series prototypes.*
Kyle nodded blankly. He didn't understand, but he knew he didn't have to.
*Good. Now turn left.*
"My left, or your left?" The blonde man asked in a daze.
*... What? You don't know where I am.*
"Where are you?" Kyle asked stubbornly, swaying slightly from side to side.
There was an amplified sigh. *I'm behind you.*
Kyle twitched again, feeling the buzzing get louder. "So, my left, or your left?"
*IT'S THE SAME LEFT!!*
Taking a moment to process this, the imprisoned cop did a sudden, precise ninety-degree turn, and then started running.
*Wait! I didn't say to-*
*WHAM!!*

Up in the control room, Yoshi Konta massaged his forehead as the floor shook slightly from Kyle's impact.
"I don't understand... the chemical controllers are obviously in place, but they've been... well..." The bald little man frowned as he puzzled the latest obstacle to his experiment. Despite his (as usual) perfect calculations, he had expected the problems, or outright failure, to occur in the stages of mutation and re-adaption, as the subject's body experienced severe alterations in its chemistry and bio-makeup, and strained to adjust without rejecting the introduced tissue and genetic grafts altogether.
Alexandra, who was in the same room overlooking the experiment, raised an eyebrow. "Does this mean the project is a failure?" She had mixed feelings on the prospect; on one hand, this project represented a relatively cheap and easy way to create troops far more reliable than the rag-tag idiots that made up the Freedom's Angels' remaining forces. On the other hand, she'd be perfectly willing to give up that advantage to see Yoshi get taken down a peg.
"Hardly," the geneticist snorted, rubbing his chin. "The procedure itself was a perfect success... just look at the impact he made."
Alex leaned forward toward the monitor, and raised an eyebrow. Kyle had pulled himself away from the wall, and was even now rubbing his forehead as he looked about blankly. The steel wall he had hit had caved outward significantly, creating a deep, vaguely human-shaped indentation.
"Okay, so he can bend steel without breaking any bones. How is he at using complex weapons?" The brunette asked, chewing on her lip.
"I really have no idea," Yoshi admitted. "His reflexes and perception should show notable enhancement and allow him to fire guns and larger weapons more efficiently... but I'm not going to give him a gun until I'm sure I have a reasonable level of control over him. It just isn't a very smart thing to do."
Alexandra winced as she watched Kyle wrap his blanket around his head like a turban. "So what are you going to do with him?"
The diminutive scientist sighed. "Well, I'll keep trying to determine the extent of the side effects."
Alex blinked. "What side effects?" She had seen Kyle in action before, and what she was seeing now seemed fairly consistent with his unspectacular first impression.
"Whatever's provoking these absurd responses," Yoshi mumbled, looking over several instruments and their respective displays.
Alex shrugged. "Whatever. I have many other matters to attend to. Inform me if you make any ACTUAL progress."
The geneticist ignored his superior as she left the room, not deigning to indulge Alexandra's goading. Then he noted that Kyle was sitting cross-legged on his cot, the blanket still wrapped around his head. "What are you doing?" he asked, pressing a button on the console that turned on his microphone.
*There is an unusual presence in my mind. I will attempt to discover its origin and purpose through meditation and fasting.*
Yoshi blinked. "Fasting? We haven't offered you anything to eat."
Kyle frowned. *I knew this seemed too easy.*
Yoshi sighed again. "Take the blanket OFF your head."
Kyle jerked upright, grabbed the scrap of cloth hanging in front of his face, and tugged hard on it.
*Whang!* Yoshi winced as he watched the captive officer yank his head down and slam it on the edge of the cot he was sitting on.
"Yeah... this is going to take a little while."
__________________________________________________________________________________

Mizu frowned as she nursed her coffee in her hands, casting nervous glances over to Ranma, who was looking ridiculously relaxed as Junko expertly kneaded his shoulders.
Once again the redhead giggled lightly, and Mizu twitched, quickly taking a sip of coffee to cover her annoyance.
It wasn't much longer until her irritation got the better of her common sense, and she spoke.
"Having fun over there, aren't we?" She said bitterly.
Ranma blinked and looked embarrassed, while Junko smirked.
"Awww, isn't that cute! I think she's jealous!" Junko giggled and suddenly leaned down to hug Ranma from behind, winking at the fuming brunette.
The pigtailed man winced as he felt the redhead's breasts press against the back of his neck. "C'mon, would you knock it off?"
Watching as Junko pouted and stood up, Mizu frowned. "You seem pretty comfortable around her, Ranma. I thought girls like that made you nervous?" She remembered many late nights of extended study-fests in Ranma's room at the academy, (though it had mostly involved Ranma studying while Mizu stared at his bed and fantasized) and he had always been extremely uncomfortable with any touching more intimate than a pat on the shoulder. She thought it was kind of cute, actually, and Mizu felt rather betrayed that the department bicycle had managed to get through Ranma's guard before she had.
Ranma rubbed the back of his head. "Well, you kind of have to get used to her. Or else you'll go nuts." Then he blinked as he felt something squishy press up against the back of his hand. "Dammit Junko, I said to knock it off!"
Mizu decided it would be best to change the subject. "So... any of you wanna tell me what the deal was with those guys in black suits you beat up?"
Ranma's face darkened. "Territorial dispute," he spat. "Jerks just march in with their big, shiny guns and act like they own the place! And issuing fake alien visas! Idiots!"
Junko immediately noted that Ranma's spotty and unhelpful explanation hadn't answered Mizu's question. "The Men in Black are some fancy, international secret organization that apparently tries to deal with aliens themselves. We don't really want to tangle with them, and they REALLY don't want to tangle with us, so they generally keep to the suburban areas on the East side, and the industrial sector." She shook her head. "A month ago, they came and told us they had to take Hunter away. And, well..." She trailed off, uncertain of how an "outsider" would view the incident.
Ranma had no such inhibitions. "And we had a bit of a problem with that. Three of the five of them returned. Only one of them returned alive."
Mizu seemed understandably disturbed by this development, even if she doubted Ranma killed any of the men personally. "Why did they want to take him?"
"Something about him being part of a vast alien swarm that could annihilate the human race completely, or some crock," Ranma mumbled. "You know, whatever. They thought he was dangerous."
"He IS dangerous," Mizu deadpanned, glancing toward the zergling as he slept silently on the other side of the room.
Junko rolled her eyes. "Well, of course he is. But not in a 'devour all of humanity' kind of way."
Mizu sighed and gulped down her coffee. "Oh boy... when is the Captain coming back, again?"
Ranma scratched his chin. "Two more days." Then he sighed himself. "I really hope we find Kyle soon."
"Yeah..." Junko murmured sadly, squeezing Ranma's shoulder. "I wonder how he's doing right now."
__________________________________________________________________________________

*Buh-da-da-da-da-dum!* "Hey!" *Buh-da-da-da-da-dum!* "Hey!" *Buh-da-da-da-da-dum!* "Hey!"
*Bam!* *Bam!* *Bam!* Yoshi uncharacteristically banged his head against the door jam he had just entered as he watched Kyle, three guards, and seven K-series mutants that SHOULD have been on standby, in a conga line, moving to the beat of a fourth guard who had found some bongos.
*Buh-da-da-da-da-dum!* "Graugh!" *Buh-da-da-da-da-dum!* "Hraaaah..."
"Hey, these big monster guys are pretty good at this!" Kyle said, obviously having recovered from his earlier trance-like state.
"EVERYBODY RUUUUMBAAAAA!!" One of the terrorists cheered, having found new joy in his empty and disgraceful life.
*Bam!* *Bam!* *Bam!*
__________________________________________________________________________________

"I wouldn't worry too much. If anybody can survive being held hostage in a terrorist bio-lab..." Ranma trailed off for a moment, then frowned.
Junko raised an eyebrow. "I was kind of hoping you'd follow that up with 'it's Kyle'."
"I was planning to," Ranma admitted. "But honestly, I have no idea what Kyle's good at that would help him survive."
Mizu snorted. "He's good at getting himself into absurd situations."
Ranma sweatdropped. "That doesn't really help... unless he finds a ridiculous way to escape."
__________________________________________________________________________________

*Buh-da-da-da-da-dum!* "Hey!" *Buh-da-da-da-da-dum!* "Hey!" *Buh-da-da-da-da-dum!* "Hey!"
Kyle shook from side to side as the conga line advanced toward the main entrance to the facility, his long hair waving to the steady rhythm. Many of the guards and scientists had fled the area, and the rest were gaping in astonishment at the sight of a huge line of men and mutants parading through the halls to the tune of bongos.
*Buh-da-da-da-da-dum!* "Hey!" *Buh-da-da-da-da-dum!* "Hey!" *Buh-da-da-da-da-dum!* *SLAM!!*
Kyle winced as a massive blast door suddenly dropped down in front of him, effectively sealing off the exit.
Standing next to the door, and the large button that closed the blast doors, Yoshi glared at the captured police officer with his arms crossed over his chest.
"Nice try. Get back to your cage."
"Awwww..."
__________________________________________________________________________________

Junko rubbed her chin. "Well... he's really good at pointing out the obvious."
"Say what?" Mizu deadpanned.
"No, no, she's right," Ranma said, nodding. "Sometimes Kyle can notice things or come up with plans that are so boneheaded and simple that nobody else would think of them. That could be an advantage."
"How?" Mizu asked incredulously.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Kyle sighed and tapped his foot on the floor, bored out of his mind.
As much as he disliked having the strange buzzing in his head that compelled him to do what the big booming voices said, it was painfully boring without it. At least with the voice, he would always be doing something, and the things he was told to do became more and more difficult and challenging. In fact, some of the things, like getting shot at with 9 mm. pistols and ignoring it, and punching through a half-inch steel plate were flat-out impossible for normal human beings, which certainly kept things interesting. Had Kyle been the sort to dwell on prospects like that, he would have wondered how he was capable of such things. But having a short attention span, the I.Q. of a can of almonds, and a job that regularly exposed him to the supernatural, he merely saw the tests as exciting breaks from the sterile peace of his cell.
Frowning, he got up off his cot and walked over to the door. Then he placed his hand on the knob, and attempted to turn it.
It refused to turn. This did not deter the blonde superhuman, and he turned harder.
Inevitably, logic buckled before the enhanced might of bio-engineered muscles, and the entire lock and knob mechanism was ripped straight out of its housing.
"Oops." Wincing, Kyle carefully tried to put the doorknob back in place, only to find that it was now of a shape that could slide completely through the knob hole in the door... and straight out the other side.
He winced again as he heard the knob hit the floor on the opposite side. Shrugging his shoulders, and hoping that he could escape before they tried to charge him for the damage, Kyle pushed the door open and dashed into the hall.
*Thud!* Before falling flat on his face.
Yoshi shook his head as he retracted his foot, trying to ignore the bruise that was forming on his ankle from tripping someone of Kyle's size and strength relative to his own. Then he took the blond man by the leg and dragged him back into his cell, ignoring the much heavier man's pleas that he had broken the door by accident.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm pretty sure we can't count on him escaping by himself," Ranma decided, shaking his head sadly.
Junko sighed. "But what can we do? We don't know where he's been taken!"
Mizu glanced over at the zergling resting in the corner. "Are you sure you can't have that thing... you know, sniff him out or something?"
Ranma snorted. "Hunter's an alien killing machine, not a bloodhound. Besides, he doesn't actually have a sense of smell."
"He doesn't?" Mizu asked, somewhat surprised.
"No, he doesn't," Seras said suddenly, causing everyone in the room to jump in surprise as he appeared behind Mizu. "His alien physiology is actually highly sensitive to psychic disturbances, and as such, he finds prey through the reception of high-level psionic emissions, usually caused by high stress levels."
Mizu blinked. "Uh... meaning?"
"He can smell your fear. Just not you," Ranma simplified for his friend, having been subjected to the wordy explanation. "Same goes for pain, death, anger, and hate. He's pretty much drawn to spilled blood like a shark."
The Core officer twitched as Seras turned away. "I find all this extremely unsettling." Then she turned toward Seras, who was heading toward the front desk. "What are you doing down here, anyway? I thought you and Wattai were upstairs daring each other to eat live insects?"
"We ran out of beer, and he doesn't like the brandy I had on hand. So I came here to make a beer run."
Mizu frowned as she watched him unlock a drawer on the filing cabinet. "There's no beer down... here..." The confused soldier twitched as Seras opened the drawer on the filing cabinet, revealing a pile of Budweiser cans and ice packs.
As the perpetually inebriated doctor rummaged amongst the alcohol, a sinewy black shape slid up from among the ice, its jagged, tooth-filled maw slowly opening as it prepared to strike the limb that dared disturb its slumber.
Seras snatched up several of the beverages, and slammed the cabinet shut with his hip. Ignoring the sound of cracking bone and the hissed death gasp behind him, he then popped open one of the cans with his teeth and started to chug its contents, getting a head-start on Tycho.
Mizu turned back toward Ranma. "You keep beer in the filing cabinet?" she deadpanned.
"I don't," Ranma said indignantly. "That's Tycho and Tiro's stash."
"He keeps his stuff in the fake plant in the corner," Junko whispered, leaning closer toward the raven-haired woman.
"It's mostly Skittles and beef jerky, though," Ranma said, casting an irritated glance at Junko. "I don't really drink."
"You don't?" Seras asked suddenly, honestly shocked. "Why on Earth NOT?"
"Because the last time I did, I got blown up by a Claymore mine," he recalled bitterly.
Seras snorted. "Eh, everybody has a bad experience or five with alcohol. It's no reason to give up! Are you going to quit that easily?"
"That's enough out of you!" Mizu finally shouted, getting up and shoving Seras toward the stairs. "Go back upstairs! Get out of here!"
Ranma sweatdropped as the raven-haired soldier ushered the perpetually inebriated doctor up to his lab. "Geez Mizu, calm down a little..."
"Lousy drunk," the Core soldier spat, dropping back down into her chair. "Alcoholics are bad enough when they keep to themselves; I hate it when they let their addictions bother other people."
Junko shrugged. "Well... he does seem to be pretty happy all the time."
"Trust me," Mizu scoffed, "alcohol will NOT make you happy."
"WILL TOO!!" Seras yelled from upstairs.
"AND IT'LL HELP YOU SCORE!!" Tycho added.
"Shut up!" Mizu yelled back. Then she sighed and slumped back in her chair. "I can't WAIT until the Captain comes back."
Ranma chuckled. "Aw, c'mon Miichan! We're not that bad, are we?"
Mizu felt her spirits lift slightly at being called by the affectionate nickname Ranma had come up with for her, but ultimately it wasn't enough to break her mood. "No, Ranma. You're not that bad. But you're still something of a handful."
Mizu figured that so far, in exchange for the favor of providing competent leadership and essentially babysitting the entire DAPC, Ranma owed her sixty-three dates, seventy-thousand yen in gifts and/or services, two-hundred and forty-four hours of cumulative hot jungle loving, his hand in marriage, three children, and forty years of easy living while he worked to support her, her children, and the nanny that would raise her kids while she wasted away her life watching soap operas and prime-time sitcoms.
"A really big handful," Mizu added, causing Ranma to chuckle nervously.
"Well... uh... you're still alive!" Ranma said cheerfully, sweatdropping.
Junko winced. "Er... not that we didn't expect you to! No! We knew you could do it!"
Mizu snorted. "Well, I'd hope so. I wouldn't deserve to call myself a soldier if I couldn't live through anything that Barbie could survived."
Ranma blinked. "Uh... Barbie?"
"Sakura," Junko whispered to him. "It's a girl thing. Ignore it."
"Anyway, don't feel so bad! In two days Asuka will be back, and you can go back to your slightly less dangerous job at Core!"
The raven-haired woman wasn't impressed by Ranma's attempts to cheer her, though she was quite grateful. "Two more days... so where is she now, anyway?"
Junko rubbed her chin as she tried to remember the details of Asuka's trip. "Well... I think her last stop was... the U.S.A."
__________________________________________________________________________________

{"Anyway, on behalf of the entire school district, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to come give your speeches here at D.C. Junior High School. I know you've been very busy speaking to government and other political audiences, and I do apologize for imposing on you out of the blue like this to speak to the classes."}
Asuka smiled at the older lady who served as vice principal in the school. {"Do not worry! I like dealing with children more than politicians, anyway!"}
{"Oh, I'm glad to hear it,"} the kindly old woman said, smiling at Asuka's effective, but inefficient English. {"You brave police officers have been through so much; I really think it's wonderful that the children get the chance to talk to you!"}
{"No worries!"} The blue-haired woman said cheerfully. {"I have to find Lieutenant Yakata now so we can begin."}
{"Oh, that's all right! He's already started his speech for another class! We were thinking we could divide you up, so that you could both cover the entire senior... Miss Takami? Is something wrong?"} The Vice Principal stopped as Asuka halted in the hall, a look of horror on her face.
{"You... You let Snake speak to the students... unsupervised?"} Asuka twitched.
{"Snake? Oh, you mean Yakata-san! Yes. Is that a problem? He said he could handle it without your help."}
The old woman was startled badly as Asuka suddenly grabbed her by her shoulders, looking desperate. {"Fast! We must find Snake! Young lives at stake!"}
Now quite confused and frightened, the V.P. quickly rushed toward the classroom she had assigned the DAPC's weapons expert, wondering what trouble Asuka expected of a subordinate that, for all the V.P. knew, she trusted and respected.

{"And so kids, it's important to remember that in order to keep America strong, and ensure that our nation never crumbles in the face of a terrorist onslaught, you must each work hard to become successful and productive members of society,"} Snake spared a moment to glance at Asuka and the vice principal that had just burst into the room, but ignored them after seeing that they weren't going to interrupt right away. {"So do yourself and society a favor: Stay in school!"}
Asuka stared at her subordinate for a moment, and then let out a deep breath of relief; it appeared she had underestimated Snake's ability to give a short speech without acting like a total psycho.
{"So what's wrong? Everything looks okay to me..."} The V.P. said cautiously, aware that Snake was now looking at the two of them expectantly, no doubt seeking an explanation.
{"Uh... it is nothing. I made a mistake."} She smiled approving at Snake. {"Keep up the good work, Yakata-san!"}
Snake shrugged, and was preparing to move on with the presentation, when the Vice Principal noticed that each student's desk had several metal parts on it, next to small notepads where schematics had been drawn.
{"Oh! Are you doing an arts and crafts demonstration?"}
Asuka noticed the pieces on the students' desks, and her eyes bugged out as she recognized them immediately.
{"Arts and crafts... something like that, yeah."} Snake turned back toward the class. {"All right kids! I told you there would be a test after we watched the NRA initiation film, and this is it! Each of you has to assemble, load, and successfully test fire a standard-issue 9 mm. Beretta! I'll be timing you!"}
"Ack!" Asuka jumped behind the Vice Principal, barely managing to catch the old woman as she fainted dead away.
Snake smirked as he took out a stopwatch. {"All right, you ready? First one done gets to keep theirs! And... AUGH!!"} The DA's weapons specialist was interrupted right before he could start the trial, being tackled by Asuka and fiercely wrestled to the floor.
The students, most of whom were eagerly awaiting Snake's signal to begin, sweatdropped as they watched the DAPC Captain pick up Snake by his hair and then slam his head down onto the table, putting his arm in a lock behind his back at the same time.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Asuka, what's the deal?! OW!!" Snake shouted painfully, instinctively switching back to Japanese as he complained to his superior.
Asuka planted one elbow on Snake's neck, and then growled as she addressed the stupefied class. {"Stop staring and give back those gun parts! NOW!!"}
The frightened children jumped to obey the scary lady, and soon the pre-teenagers were rushing to dump the metal pieces on their desks into the large bag that Snake had originally disbursed them from.
Once she was satisfied that all the gun parts had been returned and all the children were seated back at their desks (many of them trembling slightly), Asuka removed her elbow and yanked Snake up to his feet, though she still held his arm fast.
{"Remember kids! Say 'no' to violence!"} Asuka growled.
{"Say 'no' to violence?"} Snake scoffed. {"Didn't we come here to teach them that we should kill terrorists instead ooowaaaugh! Sorry! Ow! No more hurting!"}
One girl in the front raised her hand as Asuka started dragging her subordinate out the door. {"Ma'am? Don't your actions indicate that using violence is a perfect means of getting our own way and enforcing order?"}
Asuka stopped tugging Snake out the door, and frowned as she stopped to think. {"You have a point. But on the other hand, shut up and do what I say."} She tugged hard on Snake, who let out a strangled yelp of pain. "We are going to have a VERY long talk about this once we get out of here! Come on!"
"Wait! Captain! Calm down! Ouch! I was just trying to adjust our speeches to American cultural values! OW!!" As he was dragged into the hall, Snake shouted his closing statements to the class.
{"SUPPORT GUN OWNERS' RIGHTS!! CAPITAL PUNISHMENT IS JUST!! VOTE REPUBLICAN!! Ow! Leggo my ear!"}
__________________________________________________________________________________

Rayden looked dispassionately upon the gates of the waste storage facility that served the Freedom's Angels as a weapons warehouse. The gate was only slightly sturdier than the type usually associated with run-down corporate structures awaiting demolition and recomission, and had a ramshackle mess of barbed wire atop the fencing edge to prevent entry by thieves or troublemaking vandals.
Overall, it was more protection than the warehouse appeared to warrant, but it was not so much that it would draw unwanted attention. The Angels may have been arrogant, second-rate tacticians, but they knew how to survive in their chosen environment. No doubt the structure was one of dozens, possibly hundreds; all of them simply excess property and assets pushed into the corner of some large corporation's balance sheets. Training camps became factories, and funds were funneled from all manner of projects and deals, both illegal and legitimate, to turn raw materials into monstrous weapons.
It was an act of war at its most vile, as an army rallied against the very beaurocracy and economic mesh that protected it from Japan's armies.
Rayden shifted the wrapped-up weapon resting on his shoulder, and leapt up into the air, easily clearing the barbed wire and landing heavily on the other side.

Simply ripping the lock off the door, Rayden entered the side door to the facility without bothering to conceal his entry.
He had recovered the location of the warehouse almost by accident, as he had caught an FA agent concluding an arms deal with an upper-rung Yakuza man who had been on the regular search-and-destroy list that occupied Rayden's time from day-to-day. The Yakuza had died quickly, but the terrorist had actually attacked with a shotgun blast originating from a prosthetic left arm, in a manner that had before been associated solely with Igov Yutchzky himself.
After removing the cybernetic limb in a manner that couldn't be considered "surgical" in any sense of the word, the Catholic justice hunter was understandably curious as to where and how the terrorist had acquired such a thing.
It had taken significant time and interrogation, but he had gleaned many things from the coward before leaving his broken body on the street for the police or his masters to deal with as they saw fit.
It seemed that certain minds in the Angels' scientific circles have been toying with the idea of "upgrading" their current staff of killers and fools to make them more effective on the battle lines, either through the use of bio-genetic or cybernetic augmentation. And while the former was still in its experimental stages and the latter was limited to those of their number that required prosthetic limbs, the project was still making a disturbing amount of progress.
While Rayden was pretty much opposed to any improvements in weapons technology that fell into the hands of the Angels, the procurement of technology that was exclusive to Igov Yutchzky was particularly troubling; Igov's wife and his weapons labs in Russia had created devices decades ahead of modern technology in the fields of prosthetics and artificial organs. And he had already seen weapons come from the Freedom's Angels that seemed to exceed the technological abilities of their father nation.
'It is strangely fitting that a product of Russia's twisted militaristic sciences should destroy Igov and his toys,' Rayden thought bitterly, feeling the floor of the empty warehouse.
He had been to two other facilities this day alone, and though he found the "true" facilities underneath the barren and empty ones, they had been only slightly less barren than the false structures, having their equipment moved or ransacked. Apparently the terrorists were even scaling back their notorious secret weapons facilities in an effort to concentrate production and funds and avoid loss and detection.
It seemed that the Freedom's Angels had been hurt badly by their last string of defeats, and had retreated to lick their wounds. But Rayden was not one to let a wounded foe limp back to safety.

Without bothering to look for whatever mechanism opened the hidden entryway to the underground facility, Rayden dug his fingers into the face of the steel plating, the metals screeching as they gave way to his enhanced strength.
The hatch groaned as it was then pulled upward, bowing outward as the corners of the plating attempted to resist the force wrenching at its center.
Frowning, Rayden moved to clench the hatch along one of the edges, and with his improved leverage he tore the metal plate free of its frame, revealing a ramshackle aluminum staircase below.
The super-soldier picked up Judgment with one arm, and with his other he withdrew a large sub-machine gun. "May God protect his children from the creations of fools and madmen," the Russian muttered, unsure as to why he suddenly felt compelled to voice the prayer. "I have a bad feeling about this..."
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Professor! Professor Konta! We have-" the aide stopped short in his desperate message as Yoshi held his hand up, not bothering to look at the other man.
On the screens in front of him, medical data raced across the lengths of glass; wildly fluctuating bars and lines that no layman had a hope of attaching meaning to.
In Yoshi's mind, however, the data fell neatly into place. Heart rate, blood pressure, neural patterns, oxygen consumption ratios; the numbers weaved a vast tapestry that was itself a human being.
'WAS a human being,' Yoshi noted mentally. He supposed that the police officer's DNA had been corrupted past the point where it could be recognized as human by now.
The aide waited nervously as Yoshi stared ponderously at the displays in front of him. One display quickly caught his eye, however, and the man gaped in disbelief at the live video feed of the combat room below.
Yoshi smirked. "It truly is incredible, isn't it? A tweak to the gene, and the line blurs between beast and man." The aide nodded dumbly, not bothering to point out the exaggeration of calling Kyle's mutation a 'tweak to the gene'.
Through the video feed, the two men watched as Kyle viciously slugged it out with a massive K-series mutant, charging the mauler head-on and tossing the monstrous creature across the room.
Kyle himself sported a few large gashes from the mauler's claws, but where the huge talons should have gouged through flesh and bone with equal efficiency, they had left only shallow wounds that clotted within seconds; one could not tell, upon looking at the blonde man, whether he had suffered the cuts today or a week ago.
The mutant wasn't faring nearly as well, as his own biology had not allowed the possibility of a genetically enhanced healing factor, and as a result it moved sluggishly as it struggled with its horribly mangled right arm and shattered left leg.
The amusement Yoshi felt at watching his subordinate gape in awe quickly abated. "I believe you had something to tell me?"
The aide looked startled, suddenly realizing that he had nearly forgotten his important news. "Professor Konta, we've just received a security signal from one of the active bio-weapon storage facilities in the sixth industrial sector. It would appear it has been broken into!"
Yoshi nodded, obviously not very concerned. "This is the fourth such break-in that's occurred over this last week, correct?"
"Y-Yes sir, but those other facilities had been previously cleared via Ms. Tokima's orders, to decrease production expenses, so it wasn't given much attention. I believe Ms. Tokima will demand an investigation to try and track the security leak."
"Bah!" Yoshi scoffed, resting his arms over his stomach as he watched Kyle knock the mauler down. "Ms. Tokima is a fool! Our forces are broken and scattered; of course there's going to be intelligence leaks! I personally find it unfathomable that the bureaucrats haven't torn Wraith Labs apart by now!"
The diminutive scientist grinned as he kept his eyes trained on the video feed.

Kyle slammed his fist down hard into the mauler's back, which earned him a satisfying cracking noise as the hardened flesh of the mutant failed to protect its internal structure.
Quickly turning, the blonde man grabbed hold of the creature's faceless head, and then, without hesitation or fanfare, he pulled hard on it, tearing off the mutant's skull as blood spattered all about him.

"Over already? Hm." Once again ignoring the aide, who looked ready to vomit at this point, Yoshi went over the data collected during the fight.
"Let's see... I assume I'm to do something about the intrusion?"
The aide chewed his lip nervously as he replied. "Well... I came to you first... I mean, we caught it in enough time that we could still capture or eliminate the intruder, and... uh... well, we're the only branch in Tokima's networks that has resources to spare." The aide sweatdropped, being able to appreciate the irony that what was essentially a glorified terrorist R&D department possessed greater manpower and fighting strength than what remained of the core armies.
"Very well then," Yoshi said simply, pressing a button on the intercom that linked him to Kyle's combat arena. "Subject 341, testing complete. Report to area six to... *Ahem!* Subject 341!" Yoshi twitched as Kyle ignored him, staring at the shiny carapace that protected the area of the mauler that would normally hold its face.
"Subject 341, respond now!"
*Whoa... how do ya think these things see?* Kyle asked, his voice filtering back to the scientists through the room's audio feed.
Yoshi slapped his forehead. "Oh for the love of..."
*Hey! I know! Maybe they use echo-whatsit like bats and dolphins?*
Yoshi took a deep breath to calm himself. "The Kain module makes the brain super-sensitive to electric pulses, along with a simplified thermal-imaging sense that allows the mutant to track body heat."
Kyle was silent for a long moment as he continued to stare at the decapitated head. *So does that make it colorblind, or what?*
*Bam!* *Bam!* *Bam!* The aide sweatdropped heavily as he witnessed the normally unflappable Yoshi Konta beat his head against a computer monitor.
"Uhm... Professor? Should I ask Ms. Tokima or General Yutchzky for help?"
"No, no... I can handle this..." Yoshi rubbed his head as he spoke into the microphone through clenched teeth. "SUBJECT 341, AT ATTENTION!!"
Kyle bolted upright as if electrocuted, and dropped the mauler's head at his feet.
"Good. Now proceed to-"
*Eeeew! I got blood and gunk on my shoes!*
"SUBJECT 341!! SHUT THE HELL UP!!"
Kyle pouted and stood at attention, though he didn't face the camera as he didn't know where the voice was coming from. *............ You know, I have a name,* Kyle said after a moment of silence.
'Is he actually going to cry?' The aide thought, looking astounded as he watched Yoshi hold his face in his hands.
"Look, just... just go to area six for cleanup and repair. You're being reassigned."
Kyle perked up. *Reassigned? Does that mean I get to leave?*
Yoshi twitched. "Yes, you get to leave. And good riddance. Your next mission will be a search and destroy deployment near a terrorist facility. You'll receive the details once you've been outfitted." Then Yoshi's expression became more somber. "After that, I have a... 'special' final assignment for you."
Kyle grinned. *All right! Thank you, Mister Voice in My Head!*
*Bam!* *Bam!* *Bam!* The aide sweatdropped. "Yeah... maybe I should go now..."
__________________________________________________________________________________

Rayden grimaced as he finished prying the lid off the first of dozens of crates scattered all about the underground warehouse. A cube of tightly-packed, small black spheres looked back at him.
Throwing caution to the wind, the wandering fighter picked up one of the spheres, squeezing it gently to determine its hardness.
*Crick* *Crack*
Almost immediately, a side of the sphere broke open, and a slimy, swollen black mass bulged out, breaking the shell around it apart.
The vamp parasite finally managed to get free of its egg, and slithered about in Rayden's palm for a moment, failing to breach the leather gloves that protected his hands and kept the mutant slug from the precious warmth and energy that had awoken it.
Rayden frowned, then shook his head and threw the vamp onto the floor in front of him.
'A low-class storage facility, obviously... but the lack of security is troubling. Either Japan's forces have dealt the terrorist scum a harsher blow than I thought, or they're merely hoarding their resources for now.'
No matter what the cause, his course of action was clear. Rayden reached into his coat and withdrew a relatively small block of plastic explosives that he had taken from a weapons deal he had "interrupted".
Moving to the center of the underground base, the crusader attached the bomb to the main support beam in the center of the warehouse.
As with most structures of this sort, the construction had been hasty and poorly planned, if not done efficiently. Such facilities stood perfectly well on their own, but tended to buckle far more easily than normal buildings with a minor application of explosives.
Setting the charge, Rayden swiftly made his way toward the entry stairwell.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"So all that I'm saying is, you didn't have to make me refuse France. You think I WANTED it?"
Asuka crossed her arms over her chest as her subordinate drove them back to HQ from the airport. "Don't give me that! You were going to accept it, weren't you?"
"Well... yeah! At first! I mean, how often is it that a whole country surrenders to you?"
"It was your second one this trip," Asuka deadpanned.
"I maintain that if a well-armed man takes a nap in the lobby of Poland's Prime Minister's office, that doesn't count as 'conquering' the country," Snake said defensively. "Besides, at least I had to work to get France!"
"You made Chirac cry!"
Snake snorted. "Well, if he's going to be such a wuss, then... wait..."
Asuka frowned as she scanned the road ahead. "What's wrong?"
"Over there!" Snake pointed off to the side, and Asuka was treated to the sight of seeing a small, distant cloud of dust rising into the air. "There was an explosion! Small one, though."
The blue-haired woman scratched her chin. "Damn... first thing when we get back... do you think we have time to go to... H... Q..." she trailed off and sighed as Snake made the proper turn, and began speeding toward the source of the destruction.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Satisfied that the rubble from the surface structure had collapsed fully enough to fill the underground structure, Rayden hefted Judgment over his shoulder and turned away, deeming his mission complete.
He fell back, startled, as he saw that there was a man standing behind him, staring at him. 'What? Where did he come from?'
Upon closer inspection, he remembered where he had seen this man before. The long blond hair was particularly distinctive, as few Japanese people had blonde hair at all, and he could only remember one blond man who kept his hair so long.
"Good evening, officer. Peace be with you," the crusader said evenly, slightly unnerved by the stony, neutral look Kyle was giving him.
And with that, Rayden moved to walk past him, not expecting any resistance. After all, he had briefly seen the same officer during the attack by the terrorists' Prometheus mechs in the city, and he hadn't been bothered then.
Needless to say, the Russian super-soldier was caught completely off-guard when the police officer suddenly bolted forward, slugging him solidly in the stomach.
"Hack! Caugh!" Rayden dropped Judgment to the side as he spit blood onto the ground, his mind awhirl as he tried to comprehend what had just happened.
Kyle smirked and threw his arm up, tossing Rayden away and smashing the Catholic fighter into the rubble that remained from the hidden warehouse. Dust and concrete burst upward from the force, and Kyle's target was momentarily lost to him.
The blond police officer walked up to the blast site silently, once again not deigning to utter battlecries or taunts.
Stopping just a meter away from where Rayden had landed, Kyle patiently waited for the dust to clear.
*C-click!* When it did, the brainwashed cop found himself staring down the barrel of a .45 caliber pistol.
Rayden stood panting for a moment, extremely disturbed by the complete lack of response from his opponent. "I do not wish to harm you! I do not know what provoked this attack, but-"
*Thwack!* Rayden blinked in surprise as his gun was swatted out of his hand almost casually, and gasped as Kyle took hold of his throat.
"Wh-What is *Cough!* this?!" The crusader shouted as he struggled. The blond man's attacks were moving at speeds that Rayden had assumed only he was capable of, and as he felt Kyle's grip tighten around his neck, he had to admit that the police officer's strength at least approached his own.
"Die," Kyle said simply, uttering his first word since he had arrived on the site. Then he swung Rayden up and over his head, slamming the Catholic fighter down hard into the ground.
"G-hack!" Rayden felt more blood rise to his throat as the pavement cracked around him, and finally decided that some kind of defense was in order.
*Thock!* Kyle flew back as Rayden's foot smashed into his chest, and the genetically enhanced officer fell against the fence surrounding the compound, stunned but barely hurt.
Grasping in his coat for a weapon, Rayden withdrew a smaller 9 mm. pistol and fired desperately at his foe, hoping to wound or stave the man off so that he could escape.
It was not to be, as Kyle dove to the side and then jumped high in an arc toward the crusader, displaying a level of grace and dexterity that Rayden couldn't have guessed at from Kyle's earlier movements.
*Blam!* *Blam!* His last two shots went wide, and Rayden grimaced as Kyle landed lightly right next to him.
The police officer's next movements were anything but light and graceful, and he grabbed Rayden's gun hand with one arm and Rayden's face with the other, applying severe pressure to both.
Thinking quickly the Catholic fighter punched Kyle hard in the chest, which appeared to do nothing except alert the brainwashed fool that his current position was vulnerable.
*Wham!* Kyle pulled Rayden's face up and then smashed it into the concrete again, and then flung him away into the fence, aiming for the barbed wire portion.
Though irritating, the fence and wire hardly presented a significant obstacle for the Russian gunman, as opposed to the aching soreness throughout his body, and the multiple bloody wounds on his head. Fighting through the mental haze that threatened to take him into unconsciousness, Rayden fumbled around in his pockets for his cigarette lighter.
As Kyle's psyche had, much to Yoshi's disappointment, not completely succumbed to the chemical controls which assaulted it, the blond man stopped in mid-charge to wonder why his enemy would take out a cigarette lighter when he was both in the middle of a fight for his life, and also lacking a cigarette.
*Beep!* When Kyle noticed that he had a small, disc-shaped bomb attached to his chest where Rayden had hit him, the sequence of events became clear to him.
"This is going to hurt, isn't it?" *Kablam!*

Rayden stumbled awkwardly to his feet, his entire body protesting as he groped at his coat for another firearm. He felt by now that he had a good feel for how strong, fast, and resilient Kyle had become, and the relatively tiny charge wasn't likely to do more than stun him.
The Russian tripped as he lumbered forward, and then winced as he hit the ground face-first.
'What is this?' he thought to himself, 'I can't be this weak! His attacks didn't-'
The crusader's eyes widened, and he quickly began grasping at his leg, confirming his suspicions as he felt a soft, squishy bulge under his pant leg that he had somehow failed to notice before.
Ripping a tear into the pant leg, Rayden grabbed the vamp that had attached to his leg and crushed it in his hand, reducing the parasite to a moist, black mush.
Killing the vamp only served to slow the progression of the toxins that already flowed through him, however, and the Catholic fighter mumbled a short prayer as he tried to fight the powerful fog clouding his vision and muddling his thoughts.
Kyle wasn't about to wait for that to happen, and before Rayden even knew that the police officer had recovered from the blast, he felt himself being lifted into the air.

Kyle wordlessly lifted Rayden up by the front of his trench coat, idly wondering why the gunman looked so drained after merely being beaten into the ground with enough force to rend steel armor.
Actually, he was wondering a lot of things now, as the explosion that had left his chest and face a soot-covered mess had jarred his mind partially free of the powerful chemicals that dictated his actions and ensured the mission's proceedings, such that he was now giving small distractions more attention.
For example, he had gripped his hand into a fist to began pulverizing his enemy, but he was suddenly wondering why he should kill Rayden in the first place. He had seen the guy pulverize one of the Prometheus mecha way back when the city had come under the first major attack, and really couldn't think of a good reason to fight the man. After all, Ranma and Asuka seemed to think he was okay, and they were much better judges of character than he was.
Another example came from the screeching of tires on asphalt several meters behind him. Kyle turned to look, and his eyes widened as he saw the last two people he expected to arrive on the scene to find him.

"Kyle? What are you doing?" Asuka asked, frowning as she got out of the car.
Snake joined her after a moment, his sidearm already out and with its safety off. "Ha! Looks like the commander caught himself a Russian!"
Kyle blinked. "Captain? Snake? What are you two doing here?"
Asuka continued frowning. "We got back a little early after Snake made some of the U.S. democrats a little upset. We weren't really welcome there."
"I merely suggested that if any of them had been raised in Texas instead of their sissy little liberal states, that they wouldn't be the complete idiots they are today. For example, most of them would probably be dead."
Asuka ignored her third-in-command in favor of her second. "Never mind that, though. Why are you attacking this man?"
Kyle looked at Rayden, scratched his head, then shrugged and dropped the groaning Russian onto the ground. "I dunno. It seemed like a good idea at the time."
Asuka made a sound that was half-way between a groan and growl as she massaged her head. "Well, leave him alone! Though I am surprised you were able to take him..." while she had never witnessed the superhuman extent of Rayden's power, she did know that he was a very effective gunman, and Kyle didn't seem to be armed. "Whatever. Go wait in the car."
Kyle did as he was told, and Asuka leaned down next to the beaten Russian, first checking his pulse, and then looking over the intensity of the head wounds. "Huh. Doesn't look like you're hurt too badly."
Rayden mumbled something, and Asuka frowned, unable to make it out. "Um, look, I can't really take you to a hospital, because you're kind of a wanted man, you know? And I COULD take you back to HQ and have Sakura fix you up, but I'd really prefer not to. Are you gonna be okay out here alone?"
The Russian gunman slowly began to get up, the toxins from the vamp finally having spread themselves too thin to be effective. "Th-That... That man... he-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Asuka said dismissively, turning and starting to walk away. "Kyle's really an alright guy. He just gets... confused sometimes. He probably just made a mistake. I'll talk to him."
"B-But-"
Asuka again cut him off as Snake got back into the car. "G'bye! Good luck on your crusade against evil, or whatever!" Then she got into the car herself, shutting the door even as Rayden tried to muster the presence of mind to shout a warning to her.

Rayden pushed himself slowly to his feet, still fighting the haze that clouded his mind.
The biological mutations that made him what he was were very specific in nature, tweaked to maximize certain traits and effects and minimize others. Besides the obvious boosts in speed and strength, he had also been born sterile, had an extremely powerful metabolism, and was also super-sensitive to the effects of drugs and poisons.
The practical benefits of this were to allow Rayden to consume drugs for combat purposes, maximize the length of their effects, and minimize the chances of severe dependency and the associated withdrawals. The flip side was that poisons, such as the mind-altering paralysis toxins generated by vamps, had an extreme and extended effect upon him. And right now, Rayden was feeling the full burden of that weakness.
*Thud!* Once again, his legs failed to move in the proper sequence, and the Russian fell flat on his face as his body continued to resist his command.
'I must move! I have to remain conscious!' While he was pretty sure he wouldn't suffer the zombie-like effects of the vamp without continued exposure to the parasite, he was also pretty sure that more police officers would be arriving at the site of the explosion to investigate, and the vast majority of them wouldn't be as understanding and lenient as the DAPC's Captain.
The gunman felt his arms go completely numb, and struggled as his vision started to fade.
"And in the end, as has always been my fate, I am again in God's hands. Amen..." the mumbled, half-intelligible prayer died on Rayden's lips as he finally lost consciousness.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Kyle scratched his head as he watched a different police car speed past, going toward the wrecked building.
'Huh? Was that a DAPC patrol car?'
"So seriously Kyle," Asuka said suddenly, "why were you attacking Shikodan? Granted you have a reputation for doing stupid things, but random acts of personal violence are fairly new."
Kyle grimaced. "Oh... well, I didn't want to sound weird, but I have this voice in my head that tells me to kill people, and I feel compelled to do whatever it says."
Asuka turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised. "Say what?"
"Don't sweat it," Snake said, smirking. "It's perfectly normal. Just try to concentrate your urge for blood on legitimate targets."
Asuka then turned to look at Snake. "It's not normal. AT ALL."
The American blinked. "Oh! Uh... yeah. I knew that," he said hastily, looking suddenly perturbed.
The police Captain sighed and turned forward again. "Tekai, I'd recommend you see a head doctor if I thought you had anything worth examining."

Kyle flinched, and his pupils suddenly shrunk as a loud buzzing noise erupted in his head.
'KILL.'

"I wonder how the others made out without me," Asuka mused, putting Kyle's apparent insanity aside for the moment.
Snake chuckled. "In Chikiko's case, it's safe to say she made out very well, and quite often."
The blue-haired woman sweatdropped. "As refreshing as it is to hear an actual joke from you instead of something insane meant to be taken seriously... shut up."

'YOUR MISSION... IS TO KILL...'
Kyle twitched, and his eyes darted to the side compartment of Snake's patrol car, where a high-caliber handgun lay nestled amongst the road maps and a half-eaten roll of Mentos.

Asuka frowned deeply, spending a few moments riding in silence. "Well... do you really think she slept with everyone?"
"Huh?" Snake asked, glancing at his superior for a moment.
"Junko. Do you think she'd really take advantage of me not being there to enforce discipline?" Asuka looked strangely nervous about the prospect, which confused the Hell out of Snake.
"'Take advantage of the situation'? What are you, her babysitter?" Snake asked bluntly. "Cap, the guys can take care of themselves. I don't think you have to worry about big, bad Chikiko sexually assaulting them because you're not there to keep an eye on her."
Asuka had the decency to blush; it was a pretty silly prospect. "Yeah, yeah, okay. You're right."
"Besides, if I may say so myself, you did a bloody poor job of 'enforcing discipline' anyway."
"Hey!"

Kyle's hand shook unsteadily as he carefully checked the ammunition and then moved to undo the safety.
The parts of his mind that hadn't been completely overwhelmed by Yoshi's neural manipulation techniques weren't surprised at all when they found that the safeties had already been switched off. They also knew that handguns weren't the most powerful weapons Snake stored in his car, armed and ready to go off at the twitch of a finger.
'YOUR MISSION... IS TO KILL... CAPTAIN ASUKA TAKAMI...'
Wordlessly, expressionlessly, and without further hesitation, Kyle raised the pistol and aimed it at the head cushion on Asuka's seat, drawing a line through her skull that would likely reduce it to a mess of tiny fragments.

"I try to keep order, you know! And it's mostly because you and Kyle keep undermining my authority that I have such a hard time about it!" The bluette growled.
Snake snorted, forgetting to keep his eyes on the road. "Well excuse me for trying to stay a little loose! You know, it's hard enough to deal with the horrors of the paranormal without you always getting on my case just for learning to enjoy it!"
"You don't 'deal' with the paranormal, you shoot it on sight!"
"And what's wrong with-WHOA, RED LIGHT!!" Snake shouted, slamming on the brakes suddenly, and pitching his passengers forward suddenly.
*Blam!* Asuka blinked as the sound of a gunshot erupted right behind her head, being too stunned from the sudden deceleration to offer a more dramatic response.
Turning around, she saw that the pistol was resting on the top of her seat headrest, being held at an awkward angle just above Kyle's head, which was planted in the back of her seat. As expected, there was a hole in the roof of the car, and a hot casing on the floor next to Kyle's foot.
She grit her teeth and glared at the blond man. "Kyle, how many times have I told you not to play with Snake's guns while we're in the car?! I swear to God, I DO have to act like a babysitter around you idiots!"
Snake smirked as Kyle recovered. "Take it easy on the guy, Captain! He's just practicing his Second Amendment rights, as guaranteed to all Americans!" Seeing the light turn green, Snake accelerated through the intersection.
"And as admirable as your dedication to freedom is," Asuka deadpanned, "I must again point out that Kyle is not an American citizen, and that Japan offers no such rights."

Kyle lowered the handgun and frowned. He was about to try again, when a familiar melody attracted his attention, and he looked out the side window.
"Ooh! Ice cream truck!" Per the norm, certain parts of his brain continued working while other parts devoted their full attentions to Kyle's latest distraction. Wires were crossed, and as usual, bad things resulted.

"Why isn't there an NRA in Japan?" Snake wondered aloud, making sure not to let his discussion distract him from driving this time.
"I'd guess there just aren't enough crazy people like you to form an effective lobby." Asuka leaned back in her chair, inadvertently hitting Kyle's hand while she reclined. "Besides, we-" *Blam!*
Asuka jerked forward, and then turned to look in the back. "DAMMIT KYLE, WOULD YOU KNOCK IT OFF?!"
The blond man twitched. "Urgh... sorry."
Frowning, the police Captain looked at where the pistol was currently pointed. "Did you just shoot yourself in the leg?"
"It would seem so," Kyle murmured, finally putting the gun away. "Don't worry though; I'm bulletproof now."
Asuka and Snake both blinked. "You are?"
"Well... bullet resistant would be more accurate, I guess," Kyle rubbed his leg as he spoke, "you see, I was genetically enhanced while you were gone!"
Asuka stared directly at him, while Snake stared indirectly at him, by virtue of the rear-view mirror.
"It's way too soon after I got back to deal with this nonsense," the police Captain mumbled, rubbing her head. "Let's just get back to HQ. Though I dread what the place will look like when I come back a day earlier than they expected."
"Chill, Cap. We're here."

Snake pulled into the front parking lot of DAPC Headquarters, remarking off-hand about how less safe the place appeared now that the land mines had been removed. Much to Asuka's surprise, Kyle immediately agreed.
"Well, the building's still standing, and it looks like most of the windows are intact. I'd say they've already exceeded my expectations."
"It's the miracle of low standards," Snake said smugly, unlocking his seat belt.
"Ha ha. Let's go." Asuka turned her head and began to exit the car at the exact moment that a standard-issue combat knife pierced the back of her headrest, missing her neck by centimeters. She didn't notice.
Snake did, however. "Aw, man! C'mon, stop destroying my car, wouldja? I was sympathetic with the guns, but enough is enough!"
Leaving Kyle to sulk by himself, the DA's weapons specialist entered the HQ building behind Asuka, complaining about how his short vacation may have allowed Ranma to compete with his kill count.

Kyle, who still sat in the back seat of Snake's car, yanked his knife out of Asuka's seat and put it back in the sheath, looking downcast.
He looked troubled for a moment, and idly reached for the opened roll of candies in the compartment where he had found the gun.
Kyle popped one of the Mentos into his mouth, and had begun to roll the candy around in his mouth, when his expression suddenly brightened.
Looking to Asuka's car, which was parked on the side of the lot, and had been since she left, the genetically enhanced idiot jumped out of Snake's vehicle to get to work.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way Ms. Lum," Sakura said patiently to the green haired alien glaring furiously at her, "but you really have no leeway in this case."
"What do you mean?!" The space oni said angrily, baring her fangs. "You can't just go tow my flying saucer away and then bill me for it! And what's with all these other charges?!" She demanded, holding up a relatively long piece of paper with a very large and frightening total printed on the bottom.
"Your unregistered and uninsured U.F.O. that didn't have a license plate was parked across the width of the parking lot roadway, on top of twenty-two separate parking spaces," Ranma explained unsympathetically. "TEN of which were handicapped spaces. And we checked the damn ship ALL OVER for the sticker, so don't even try to tell us you had one."
"It's not my fault the mall doesn't have U.F.O. parking!" Lum protested, becoming more and more agitated with the turn of events.
"Traffic laws clearly state that in constructing parking lots, builders and designers must allow for a small number of spaces to be allotted to accommodate motorcycles, hovercraft, tanks, spider-like giant robots, smaller mecha, and mythical beasts used for transportation, such as pegasus or wyverns," Tycho rattled off as he grinned at the alien, "however, they cannot be held responsible for failing to provide proper spaces for actual interstellar craft, of which your flying saucer clearly applies. If you can't keep the damn things in low Earth orbit, then that's your problem. We don't want 'em down here."
Sakura frowned. "Also, we could easily get you for indecent exposure, too."
Ranma sweatdropped, and cast a glance over to his side, where Tiro and Tycho were openly salivating at the sight of the voluptuous alien woman marching about in a furry, tiger-striped bikini and knee-high tiger-striped socks.
Mizu was behind Tiro and Tycho, though she had planted her face down on the desk and covered her head with her hands, as if hoping to shield herself from the madness.
"This is an outrage! I refuse to be treated this way!" Lum shouted, waving her hands in the air and causing her breasts to shake precisely to Tiro and Tycho's satisfaction.
The former of the two wiped off his chin. "Well, if you don't have the money... heh heh... maybe we could... work something else out?"
"The hell we can!" Tycho shouted suddenly. "Do you know the kind of bonus we get for writing a ticket that big?"
Ranma sweatdropped again, and looked to Mizu for help, hoping that she could sort out the problem before a big fight started, and also get the alien girl out of their hair. That hope was dashed as Mizu ducked under the front desk completely.
'Hmmm... I really thought she'd take commanding the DAPC better than this...' he really did feel sorry for imposing upon his friend for a task that he wouldn't dare take on himself, but he really had no choice; her help in providing a single voice of stability alongside Tiro and Tycho's ineptitude and Sakura and Junko's impotence had been a huge help, even if she did appear to be slowly going insane.
"Well if you can't help me, then take me to someone who can!" Lum demanded, inwardly debating whether to electrocute somebody for emphasis (and it was very lucky for her that she relented; the DAPC were not known for their tolerance of alien aggression, nor were her powers capable of protecting her from projectile weapons).
Asuka cleared her throat, suddenly alerting everyone in the room to her presence at the front door. "Maybe I can be of service?"
"C-CAPTAIN?!" The officers of the DAPC all shouted at once, staring at the blue-haired woman as if she might be a mirage.
"Yup!" Snake said happily, stepping in front of his superior officer. "And look who else is-WAUGH!!" The Texan was shoved to the side as the other officers rushed past him, crowding around a surprised Asuka.
"Thank God you're here!"
"We missed you, Captain!"
"You're a day early! Way to go!"
"We were afraid you weren't coming back!"
The police Captain blushed. She was aware by now that her command and leadership was well appreciated, but her subordinates continued to surprise her with their honesty about how helpless they were without her.
*Glomp!* "You came back! Thank you! Thank you so much!"
Asuka blinked, and stared at the raven-haired woman who was crying while attached to her leg. "Um... you're welcome. Who are you again?" She knew she had seen the woman somewhere before, but couldn't remember precisely who she was, or why she would be in DAPC headquarters.
"This is, uh, Mizu Toketsu, remember?" Ranma explained. "She's with Core. I got her to help keep things in shape while you were gone."
Asuka frowned at this, but decided to put it aside for now. Ultimately, she was glad to see that HQ had survived her absence completely intact. She could go over the details later.
"First things first. Miss horned alien?"
Lum twitched at the form of address. "Yes? Are you going to do something about this?" She held out the huge ticket to the police Captain, who took it and quickly scanned the key items.
Asuka turned toward Ranma. "All legit?"
Ranma nodded. "All of it. And we didn't even include the charges and fines for parking on and crushing the other cars in those spaces." When they had written the ticket, it had struck them as hypocritical to include collateral damage in the total fines, given the well-deserved reputation of their department. That, and it was a whole mess of extra paperwork.
Asuka turned back toward the alien. "And you can't pay?"
"Of course I can't pay!" Lum shouted. "I don't have any money! Even Mendo's family would go broke paying a fee like that!"
Asuka nodded, though she had no idea who Mendo was, or why it was a relevant comparison. "That IS a lot of zeros. Okay then." Without further explanation or argument, she then tore the ticket in half, and then tossed it in the trash. "All finished. You can pick up your ship at the specified impound lot tomorrow. Now leave."
Lum looked surprised, but ultimately pleased, and gave the gaping Junko and Sakura a haughty smirk as she floated toward the exit.

As soon as the alien had left and was out of earshot, Asuka turned to Snake, who was still looking slightly miffed about not being welcomed back. "Snake, contact the impound lot and tell them the U.F.O. is being decommissioned. Then find someone who could make use of a scrapped hunk of alien technology and tell them to pick it up before the lot closes tonight."
Snake looked surprised, but then shrugged and left to fulfill his orders.
"But... we won't get our bonus..." Tycho whined, looking downcast.
"True," Asuka admitted, "but you have to weigh that against the emotional satisfaction of screwing that bikini freak over out of spite."
Tycho frowned, then raised an eyebrow. "Yeah... now that you mention it, that does make me feel better!"
"Good. Now that that's over with..." She looked down at the Core soldier still attached to her leg. "So why is she here, again?"
Tycho sighed. "Kyle was captured by evil scientists, so we were pretty much leaderless. Saotome here wasn't a big help, either."
"At least I actually DID something when other people were in trouble, instead of playing cards and chess!" Ranma growled.
"It was BACKGAMMON, not chess," Tycho snapped back, as if the distinction made any difference to his point, "besides, when I do try to help, all you do is complain!"
"Why shouldn't we complain when you almost kill us?!" Sakura said indignantly.
Mizu hugged Asuka's leg tighter. "Please take over! I don't know how much more I can take!"
A vein popped up on Asuka's head as all the reasons she had been eager to leave came crashing into her at once.
"ALL RIGHT, SHUT UP!!" The bluette shouted, causing the others to freeze.
Asuka looked down at Mizu. "You. You're done here. Go home."
"Yes! Thank you! Thank you so much!" The Core soldier said gratefully, almost stumbling as she bowed while leaving the building.
Asuka turned toward Ranma. "Explain to me what Wattai meant when he said that Kyle was kidnapped by evil scientists."
Ranma blinked. "I, uh... I can't really think of a better way to explain it than that. That's what happened."
Asuka raised an eyebrow. "And you rescued him?"
"We would have," Ranma assured her, "but we had no way of finding him."
Asuka's other eyebrow rose. "Then he escaped?"
"For all we know," the pigtailed man murmured. "He managed to send us a message that he had been captured, but that was it."
"And you are completely unaware that we just brought him back to HQ in Snake's patrol car?"
Everyone's eyes widened.
"HE'S BACK?!" Sakura shouted.
Asuka nodded. "Found him throttling that Catholic gunman we ran into a while back. He seems to be okay." She rolled her eyes. "Well, as okay as Kyle ever gets, anyway."
"That's great! Where is he?!" The blonde asked excitedly.
Behind her, the men were exchanging doubtful looks, guessing that this situation was more complicated than their bubbly compatriot realized.

Nonetheless, they followed Asuka as eagerly as Sakura did as their Captain led the way back to the parking lot, where she had left the DAPC's least useful senior officer unsupervised.
Once they arrived, it became apparent that Kyle had been taking full advantage of her absence, as they found him toying with an electronic device on Asuka's car door. Asuka firmly objected to this, both because she didn't like people messing with her property, and because the device definitely had not been there last she checked.
"Kyle! What are you doing?!" Asuka shouted, holding her arm out to keep Sakura from running up and hugging her brother.
"Just a minute. Almost done," the blond man muttered, switching the final arming mechanism on the device.
With that done, he turned to face his fellow officers. Then he winked as he held out the half-eaten roll of Mentos in his fist, smiling broadly.
Asuka ignored the gesture. "Did you just attach an explosive mine to my car?"
"Yup!" Kyle said bluntly, making note of the loud beeping noise coming from the munitions that indicated the mine was now live and ready for triggering.
Asuka frowned deeply, crossing her arms over her chest. "And would that happen to be a short-range motion detector on the detonator?"
"Sure is!" Kyle said, still smiling like a fool.
The others stared at him, patiently waiting for his situation to sink in.
".................. D'oh!" Beads of sweat started to crawl down the Lieutenant's forehead as his body locked up, aware that any significant movement would prompt an explosion that even his newly enhanced body would have trouble shrugging off.
Asuka sighed, and massaged her forehead. "Well, what do you think? He sure seems like the real thing, doesn't he?" It had immediately occurred to her that if he had been captured by the enemy, they might have created a clone saboteur like they had with Snake. Honestly though, she wasn't sure whether this incident proved anything either way.
"Even if he is an enemy in disguise or something, he's doing such a good job of imitating Kyle, he'll probably end up killing himself before he hurts anyone else," Tiro guessed, earning him a glare from Sakura.
"Yeah, okay. Let's just get Snake in here to disarm the bomb." Asuka sighed. 'What a way to come back to work... and I haven't even dealt with Junko yet.'
Then the Captain frowned. Speaking of... "By the way, where's Chikiko? Did she give herself the day off or something?"
"Nah. She's been taking patrols as a way of avoiding specific assignments," Tycho blurted out. "Mostly she roams around the city and picks up guys."
__________________________________________________________________________________

Rayden winced as his vision suddenly returned to him, and he groggily sat up, feeling as if he had just woken up from a deep sleep.
Immediately grasping for a weapon, he wasn't very surprised when he found himself stripped down to his undershirt and boxers, and bereft of any firearms. Of his other affects only the gold crucifix around his neck remained, and he felt compelled to clench it in his hand as he gained his bearings.
What did come as a surprise as he took in his surroundings, is that he wasn't in a cell or prison of any type, but a well-furnished apartment. His first hopeful thoughts surmised that some miraculous power heard his prayer and had spirited him back to his own temporary residence, but that hypothesis was quickly dashed as he failed to recognize any of the furnishings.
Taking a more detailed stock of where he was, Rayden noted that he had been placed on a soft, polyester sofa, and had a light comforter over him.
The dwelling he had arrived in looked to be styled in a manner vaguely reminiscent of the American 70's fads, with low lighting and strange lava lamps and lightning globes scattered around on the shelves. A bookshelf covering one wall of the apartment held a wide-screen TV, a large stereo system, and a single row of books which sat atop a liquor cabinet. Rayden took note that there was no Bible among the books, nor were there any crosses or paraphernalia which indicated religious faith.
There was, however, a large box of condoms placed on a nightstand next to the couch, most likely stored there for quick and easy access.
The Russian grimaced. He had no idea what strange turn of events had led him here since he originally lost consciousness, but this reminded him way too much of the stories he heard from drunks and addicts among the many slums and lower circles he had been to. Whatever had happened, he had best find his weapons and leave as quickly as possible.
Naturally, things just weren't that simple, and the Catholic gunman frowned as an attractive redhead emerged from a separate room in the apartment. Much to his unease, she wore only a black brassiere and a pair of tight shorts, and seemed quite pleased to see him awake, rather than being afraid he would attack her.
"Oh, perfect! I was hoping you'd wake up soon!" Junko smiled brightly as the man twitched. He seemed to be fairly confused, which she could certainly understand. 'I just hope he's on our side like Asuka said.' "Would you like something to drink?"
Rayden shook his head, forcing his face into its normal expressionless mask as he averted his gaze from her. "No, thank you. I would, however, wish to know who you are, and how I came to be here."
"Great! You're all ready to talk!" Junko slipped past the couch the Russian was laying on, and then, much to his confusion, sat down in the chair facing the sofa.
"All right!" the redhead began, steepling her fingers in front of her, and managing to create a relatively professional appearance despite being severely underdressed. "I'll tell you all you want to know about me later. First, let's talk about you, Mr. Shikodan..."

**********************************************************************************

Terrorist facilities shattered: 1
Mutant eggs destroyed: 5,712
Mutants destroyed during testing: 7
Aliens killed: 1
MiB Agents crippled: 2
U.F.O.s scrapped: 1
Unfrozen killer dinosaurs now extinct: 1

End Chapter 19