Playing Republic Commando for the fourth time through has added significant military data on tactics and movement to my neural databanks. Information that will prove vital to future chapters and their description and detail.
Or it would, anyway, if Snake ever used squad tactics instead of killing everything himself.
Speaking of snakes, I'm not sure if anyone gets it yet, but I don't include the running-gag brain-eating worm thing in the final kill count. Ever. They kill one every chapter; what's the point?

Guardian
Chapter 18
The Vacation

**********************************************************************************

*WARNING... NEURAL INTEGRITY UNSTABLE... MAINTAINING NETWORK SURGE... CHARGING......*
Somewhere in his subconscious, Igov was vaguely aware of a grating, shrill electronic voice coming from above him, followed by a slight stinging sensation in the back of his head.
A pause. The voice came again.
*NEURAL INTEGRITY AT 62% AND FALLING... COMPLETE NEURAL FAILURE IMMINENT.*
The announcement would have startled him, surely, were he aware enough to attach emotions to the situation at hand. Then new voices penetrated the fog of his mind.
"I TOLD you we should have done this earlier, Professor. His brain can't take it anymore!"
"Yes, and I told YOU to wait. The life support functions were near the point of total decay when we opened him up."
"Wh-While that is true, Professor Konta, they DID still work. I'm still not sure that his new regulators will be able to properly interface with the biological components."
"And THAT is why you're a lab assistant and I'm the mad genius creator of my own mutant army. Hold that there, please."
"Well... even so... most of the damage was your fault."
*Whack!*
"Ow!"
*NEURAL INTEGRITY AT 51% AND FALLING... COMPLETE NEURAL FAILURE IMMINENT.*
"Professor, Yutchzky's vitals!"
"I heard the blasted speaker just as well as you did. Now shut up and begin the system restart."
"But... NO!! We can't! You didn't even-"
*Thwap!*
"Will you shut up and do as I say? I didn't spend two whole days putting this Red rustbucket back together to lose him now! Turn the bloody man on!"
*CYBERNETIC REVIVAL PROCESS INITATED. WARNING... NEURAL INTEGRITY IS BELOW THE MINIMUM ACCEPTED LEVEL TO SUCCESSFULLY WITHSTAND FULL RESTART. ABORT RECOMMENDED.*
"See? SEE?! I told you that we-"
"If you do not silence yourself at ONCE, Doctor, and continue with the operation, I will have you thrown in the zombie pit!"
"............ We have a zombie pit?"
"Don't think I can't make one! Now get to it!"
"All right, all right! Yeesh..."
*COMMENCING REVIVAL. PHASE ONE COMPLETED. INITIATING RESPIRATORY DATA UPLINK... ENCODING... PROCESSING... RECEIVING... PHASE TWO COMPLETE. INITIATING NEURAL REVITILIZATION PROCEDURE... COMMENCING ACTIVATION SURGE IN THREE... TWO... ONE...*
*Bvvvt!* A small blue arc of electricity danced over Igov's face as the jolt of power jump-started his partially reconstructed brain.
*SCANNING NEURAL INTEGRITY... NEURAL INTEGRITY FAILING. NEURAL ACTIVITY HOLDING AT 2%. ACTIVATION PHASE FAILED.*
"Hmmm... Well, whatever. Give him another!"
"WHAT?! But... I mean... yo-you can't b-be serious!"
*Shove!* "Oh, get out of the way and I'll do it myself, you nimrod!"
*SAFETY PROTOCOLS DISENGAGED. BEGINNING SECONDARY ACTIVATION SURGE IN THREE... TWO... ONE...*
*Bvvvt!* Igov flinched as another shock of energy stabbed into the electrodes surgically implanted in his cerebral cortex. This time the pain flared brilliantly, and he attempted to gasp reflexively. A reflex that was carried out two seconds later, as his artificial lungs finished calibrating and adjusting to new information from his brain.
*SCANNING NEURAL INTEGRITY... NEURAL INTEGRITY STABILIZED. NEURAL ACTIVITY AT 31%. 40%. 63% AND RISING. ACTIVATION PHASE COMPLETE. FULL SYSTEM REBOOT INITIATED... REBOOT COMPLETE.*
Igov's closed eye burst open as consciousness crashed into him, as if some mental lightswitch had been turned on.
"Gyah! What..." The cyborg jerked upright immediately, throwing off the blanket that had covered him.
"He... He's awake. It worked," the lab assistant said in awe, staring at the Russian with wide eyes.
"Heh heh heh heh..." Both the assistant and Igov turned around to see Yoshi Konta's shoulders shaking slightly as he chuckled. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! MWA HAH HAH HAH HAH!! He's alive!! HE'S ALIVE!!!" The diminutive man continued laughing madly as he thrust his arms into the air.
Igov sweatdropped. "Is there reason Igov should not be?"
The lab assistant crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, actually-OW!! OW!! Oh Christ Jesus Moses Satan damn it all to Hell!!" The man continued yelling random curses as he bounced around on one leg, holding his foot in agony.
"Oops. Hand slipped," Yoshi said casually, having shoved a large electric microscope off the desk behind him and onto his assistant's foot. "Anyway, we've been very busy with you lately. Those rusted tar pits you call lungs were very difficult to replace, your heart regulator was months away from failing, and your spinal column had been completely severed."
Igov blinked, and noticed that the experience felt different than usual. Apparently his mostly biological eye had been altered slightly as well. "How did spine break?"
"Well, that-" the lab assistant suddenly glanced to the side, and saw that Yoshi had lifted a computer monitor above his head. "... Uh, th-that remains... a mystery!"
"Indeed," Yoshi intoned sagely, putting down the computer equipment. "What we thought would take an hour ended up taking three days, and you wouldn't BELIEVE the fuss we had to go through in order to bring that old clanker torso up to code!"
Igov looked down and took stock of himself. His chest, which was largely covered in bio-synthetic flesh, had a hole cut out of the middle of it, and several wires were running out of the cavity and eventually ending at a nearby computer terminal. His arms were bare of the same material, leaving all those present free to see the mechanical glory of his form. His right arm, which was entirely mechanical but took the general shape and design of a human arm, was covered in shiny, rounded chrome plates that were carefully placed so that the entire limb maintained the flexibility of a true human arm. The digits of his hand were just as carefully designed, through each finger ended in a blue glass node, and Igov could see tiny spikes just barely poking out of small slots above and below his wrist.
His left arm had none of the artistic or remotely beautific quality of the right; it was an ugly mess of pistons, wires, and rings that had been molded, perhaps through physical force of hammer and torch, into some crude imitation of a man's arm. The palm was too large, and the digits were blocky chunks of metal that Igov doubted were good for doing much beyond punching things.
"Modifications are... odd." Igov murmured.
"Your body was odd to begin with," Yoshi drawled. "You're now over 89% machine. Only some key organs remain biological, and most of those are mechanically assisted." He grinned at the man. "Though I must say, the technology you used is truly magnificent. I was able to access your wife's data on the Yamaka Mk. VII combat torso, and added a few of my own tweaks to give what little bio-matter you still have an extra kick in getting the machine parts to function."
Igov frowned deeply. "Who give access to secure files?"
"Nobody," the scientist said bluntly. "Most of your men are dead, and several have deserted. There's no one to keep your technology safe, so I took it upon myself to see that the secrets there didn't go to waste."
Seeing Igov's neutral, guarded expression, Yoshi shrugged. "She truly was a genius. It would seem I really have been underestimating what steel and electricity are capable of. With this technology, I can make critical improvements to the Mobius project!"
Igov turned away. "Is good news," he said, still maintaining a neutral voice.
Yoshi coughed into his hand, and his eyes momentarily shifted away from the cyborg. "Although... it should be noted that the cybernetics implanted in your brain aren't as... should I say... reliable as the ones made for killing people."
"Of course, it was mostly YOUR fault that we barely managed... to..." the assistant trailed off as Yoshi's eyebrow climbed higher and higher, and swallowed involuntarily. It was probably just his imagination, but the man suddenly felt very tense, as if his head had been placed in a guillotine.
Igov mostly ignored the other scientist, and squinted his biological eye as data appeared in his cybernetic one. While most of the administrative computations were directly linked to his brain, external functions that weren't directly involve with manipulating his body were usually accessed with a visual representation to help him focus, as well as keeping confusion and errors from accidentally activating the wrong commands.
"You install Windows XP?" The Russian asked, opening his eye and looking slightly worried. "This is wise?"
"Eh," Yoshi mumbled, shrugging.
The cyborg turned as he sat up such that his legs could hang down over the edge of the operation table. "Igov must test new weapon systems."
"I agree," Yoshi said. Then he pointed at his assistant. "Kill him."
"Wh-Wh-WHAT?!?!" The scientist yelled, jumping back in horror.
Igov rolled his biological eye. "Igov do no such thing. To kill non-soldier on whim is pitiful waste of life."
The scientist let out a long, shuddering breath of relief.
"All right, all right," Yoshi muttered. "I was just joking, anyway. How about just maiming him?"
"Is acceptable," the cyborg said immediately, raising his right arm before the newly terrified lab assistant.
*Brzzt!* A spark of light flashed in the palm of Igov's right hand, and small sparks of electricity flashed around his fingertips before collecting in a glowing, cohesive sphere roughly the size of a ping-pong ball.
"No! Wait! I'm sorry! Don't hurt me! I-I-I-I-aye-aye-aye-aye-AYE-AYE-AYE-AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!"
The man shook painfully as a thin, crooked bolt of electricity lashed out from sphere and emptied its relatively minor energy charge into the man, causing him to spasm wildly, and for parts of his lab coat to catch on fire from the heat.
*Thud!* The scientist fell face first on the floor, and within seconds the overhead sprinkler activated over him, dousing the flames.
"Excellent!" Yoshi said brightly, clapping his hands and then taking hold of Igov's right arm, inspecting it for any signs of damage or malfunction from use. "Okay... it seems to be functioning perfectly!"
He let go of the hand and brightened. "The LS-99 Tesla Battle Claw is a metamorphing hand prosthetic; it's capable of releasing a bolt of lightning into targets at short range, being relatively accurate to a distance of up to five meters. Discharge duration is only 1.3 seconds to sustain a ranged bolt, but it can maintain a constant charge for up to 27 seconds when in physical contact with the target. The humanoid design of the hand can retract while extending four super-conductive vibro-blade claws with limited articulation for enhanced Tesla bolt accuracy and an enhanced melee capability. The Tesla claw has four settings: 'stun', 'kill', 'extra crispy', and 'Stalin would be proud'."
The diminutive genius tapped on Igov's other arm. "This is an XM-320 minigun modified to act as a limited-manipulation articulated limb when inactive. It fires 5.56 mm. rounds at a rate of 600 rounds per minute."
Igov frowned. "Rate of fire not very impressive for minigun."
Yoshi shrugged. "We had to make it turn into a functional arm. That took a LOT of modification work. Plus three crowbars, four sledgehammers, and a two-by-four with a nail in it."
The bio-geneticist moved to Igov's front, and began ripping cords out of his chest cavity. "Regardless, you're all set to go. In the next room we can fix up your chest plate, replace the fake skin, and then get you some clothes!"
Igov nodded, and was about to head out of the room, when he suddenly jerked to a stop, lost his balance, and fell flat on his face, hitting the cold, steel floor with a loud ringing noise.
Yoshi winced, then frowned as he kneeled next to the cyborg, wondering what happened. "Odd... his vitals are still strong... Yutchzky! Yutchzky?"
Leaning further over, Yoshi turned the General's head over and peered closely into his cybernetic eye.
"Oh... that's the problem." Sighing, the mad scientist stood up and retrieved his cell phone. Then he dialed a number that many of the men in his profession knew by heart.
*Beep!* *Beep!* *Click!* *Hello, and thank you for calling Microsoft technical support, division Japan! Please hold!* Came a cheery female-sounding recording from the phone at his ear.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"... And THAT is why Snake and I have been chosen, among all the other individuals reviewed by the ICPO, to attend the United Anti-Terrorism Front seminars," Asuka said with her fists planted on her hips, speaking authoritatively as she addressed all the officers.
Ranma sweatdropped. "Because he has the highest terrorist kill count in the world and you're his superior officer?"
"That's right!" Asuka confirmed. "We will be flown, all-expenses-paid, to various countries across the globe and lecture crowds about why it's important to kill all terrorists instead of wasting time trying to fix whatever social or economic problems fuel their deranged agenda, or whatever those liberal pansies are always talking about."
"Are they bothered by the fact that you're equally as experienced in fighting Russian militants, and that the terrorists you face have a level of technology that outstrips the American military?" Tycho asked blithely.
Snake frowned, not liking the implication that the Freedom's Angels were better warmongers than his native country. "Why does that matter?"
Tycho shrugged. "Just thought it was worth pointing out."
"In any case, this puts me in a difficult position," Asuka said, the pride no longer evident in her voice. "Because two of the three ranking officers will be gone."
Ranma blinked. Then he scratched his head. "Wait... if the Captain's gone, then that means the person in charge is..."
Ranma, Tiro, Tycho, Sakura, and Junko all paled as they slowly turned to face Kyle. Even Hunter, who was lying on the floor, made a sound that was akin to a whimper.
The lieutenant commander stared back at them. "What? Who's the person in charge?"
"This is bad," Ranma muttered, remembering all of his experiences with Kyle's leadership. Which pretty much left his mind blank. 'The closest thing he ever gave to an order was his insisting that the vamps were leeches and not slugs!'
"Precisely why this was a difficult decision to make," Asuka said regretfully. "Were Snake not coming with me, I could just tell everyone to ignore Kyle and do what Snake says. Although that scenario is only slightly less terrifying. But as it is, I'm afraid I have no choice. Kyle MUST be placed in charge as the commanding officer."
"Wait!" Tiro said desperately, "what if Kyle goes with Snake instead of you? He's Snake's superior officer too, right?"
"Then we'd never seen either of them again," Asuka said bluntly. "Can you imagine Kyle trying to lead Snake around in a foreign country where he didn't read or understand the language?"
All the assembled officers (including Kyle himself, oddly enough) took a moment to think about it. A large thought bubble appeared over their heads. Within the thought bubble, a chibi-Kyle was arguing with a chibi-Snake, insisting that the women's bathroom in the rear of a Taco Bell in Louisiana was in fact the place they were supposed to give their speeches.
They all nodded decisively.
"And for that matter, can you imagine if I let SNAKE run around without someone responsible to keep him under control?" The police captain said irritably.
Once again, all the officers stopped to think about it (including Snake). The thought bubble appeared. Within the bubble was a chibi-Snake crouching down and plugging his ears with the ancient pyramids of Egypt in the background. After a moment, there was a horrendous explosion, and a cartoon-ish looking mushroom cloud consumed the ancient tombs.
The assembled officers except Snake nodded decisively. Snake started chuckling and mumbling about stupid mummies getting what they deserved.
"So you see, I'm afraid there's really no choice," Asuka said, shrugging. "And while it may SEEM that I'm taking this seminar opportunity as a vacation to get away from you fruitcakes... uhm..." She frowned and scratched her chin. "Uh, while it may seem that way... I'll be back in two weeks. So... bye!"
Asuka grabbed Snake's arm and turned around to walk out the front door. Truth be told, she wasn't relishing the idea of spending two weeks alone with her department's primary gun nut, but she WAS looking forward to taking a trip around the world for free instead of babysitting idiot blondes.
Of course, there were some who would not so easily give her the satisfaction, and the police captain let out a yelp as Junko dove down and grabbed her leg.
"I got her! Somebody block the door!" the redhead yelled, wrapping her arms firmly around Asuka's thigh.
"HEY!! What do you think you're doing, you little-" she was cut off as Tiro and Tycho each grabbed hold of one of her arms.
"Please don't leave us!!"
"We won't last an hour under Kyle's command! We're begging you!"
Hunter once again made a strange growling/whimpering noise as his jaw clamped onto Asuka's jacket and held her back.
"Hey! Let me through!" The blue-haired woman shouted, struggling toward the door. To everyone's surprise, she actually managed to make some progress, dragging the three officers and killer alien along behind her.
Her progress stopped when Ranma casually side-stepped in front of the exit, whistling to himself and trying to look innocent.
"Et tu, Saotome?" Asuka growled, causing Ranma to sweatdrop. He didn't stop whistling though, nor did he make eye contact.
"Don't go! We don't want you to go!"
"We need you here! Don't leave!"
"Sakura, get over here and grab her other leg! OW!! Hey, no kicking!"
Sakura sweatdropped as Asuka yelled and started tossing people off of her. "Is it really that bad to have Kyle in charge?"
"Never mind that," Snake said, crossing his arms over his chest in irritation. "How come nobody's trying to keep ME from leaving?"
"Because we've been waiting a REALLY long time for the chance to clear that mine field in front of the garage," Kyle said honestly, crossing his arms over his chest.
Snake mumbled something about the low standards of security measures nowadays and began to sulk.
Asuka finally shook Junko off of her foot, and then ripped her jacket out of Hunter's mouth. "I'm LEAVING!! Let's go, Snake!" She shouted, moving up to stand in front of Ranma.
Ranma swallowed involuntarily, but didn't make any move to get out of her way as the Captain glared at him.
"Saotome... MOVE IT." Asuka's tone left a clear image in Ranma's mind of a metal spike puncturing solid steel, and several beads of sweat collected on his brow.
He moved backward a step, closer to the exit. A mistake, he knew, but Ranma Saotome always resorted to brave mistakes before intelligent withdrawals.
"Grk!" The martial artist gasped as Asuka took firm hold of his neck right under his jaw, and then picked him up with one arm. An impressive feat all by itself, and made no less so when she turned sharply, Ranma still suspended0 firmly by her grasp, and placed him firmly on the floor, out of her path to the garage.
"We're leaving," she said simply. "I'll see what I can do about writing you while I'm there. Let's go, Snake!"
The DAPC's weapons officer followed his superior officer to the door, and then turned back once he reached it.
"So, seriously, NOBODY cares that I'm leaving?" He said, somewhat annoyed.
"We all care," Junko said immediately. "We just can't decide if it's a good thing or a bad thing."
Snake turned to Ranma, looking somewhat hopeful. "Saotome?"
Ranma glanced at the man, then turned his head away sharply, though he was still massaging his throat. "Hmph. I'm still mad about the Claymore thing."
The Lieutenant flinched, then turned around and exited through the door, mumbling to himself along the way.
"Yeesh. Blow a guy up once, and he has to get on your case about it forever..."

Junko groaned as the two officers exited the main lobby where everyone was assembled. "What're we gonna do? It's just not gonna be the same without the Captain!"
Tiro shrugged. "I don't know... don't we usually just do whatever we want when she's around anyway?"
"Yeah, but the Captain always pulls us together just in time for us to turn the tables and barely escape death," Tycho noted sourly. "And besides that, with Snake and Takami gone, Saotome's the only one left worth a damn in a firefight!" He pointed a sole finger at Ranma.
Though he supposed Tycho should've included Kyle in that accounting too (the dope was good at shooting things, at the very least), Ranma mostly sympathized with the driver's assessment. Kyle would be too busy giving confusing commands that would probably get them all killed instead of helping to fight off enemies.
"She'll only be gone for two weeks you guys," Sakura said, some obvious strain in her voice from trying to stay cheerful. "We can survive that long without her, right? I mean, she's our leader, not our babysitter!"
Ranma was about to make a calculated and impolite reference to Tiro's behavior, when Kyle suddenly smacked one fist into his upraised palm.
"I got it! I figured it out!" The blonde man said excitedly.
The others blinked at him.
"If Asuka leaves, then I'M the one in charge, huh?" Kyle asked brightly, pointing to himself.
*Wham!* The others declined to reply as their faces became one with the floor.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Yoshi hummed happily to himself as he walked down the halls of his own private research facility, holding a cluster of important files to his chest. All around him, the hum of machinery and the muffled clatter of glassware being used reverberated from the various labs that made up the greater whole. Unlike the other facilities, this one had only minor security detail; the only things his lab dealt with that had a mind of their own that might decide to escape were any clones he made. The rest of the experiments in biotechnology were conducted using inactive tissue samples, gene models, and controlled chemical reactions. Even the T-virus, an organism that technically didn't have a mind of its own, was forbidden within the confines of his facility, for a single mistake could turn his entire staff into zombies and monsters without proper security measures in place to stop them. And the Sintek mutant samples were not only disallowed within his facility, but in fact ALL research pertaining to those projects were now forbidden to be in any of his databanks.
The diminutive genius shook his head. Where the Sintek mutant templates had seemed an incredible leap forward for their projects at first, Yoshi had only recently realized how horrible a mistake their projects were, and how truly dangerous the mutation template was. And for a man who had freely unleashed the horrific T-virus into the Tokyo area, the danger had to have been unforgivably dreadful.
The Sintek mutations were abominations that existed in unstable, parasitic cellular bonds, and took their primary forms by attaching themselves to living cell structures, and twisting them around, consuming life forms and driving them mad with agony as their bodies were mangled into vile monstrosities that sought only to spread their hideous taint. All while the victims were still alive, and completely aware of what was happening to them. Not a pleasant thought.
Which wasn't all that different from the T-virus's own incubation, in an abstract sense, but that was exactly why Yoshi had re-engineered it so that it was no longer an airborne virus and had modified its rate of mutation. Besides, there was a type of moral simplicity in an organism that at least killed its host before twisting its body into a vile monster.
But more importantly, the mutants simply couldn't be controlled. Yoshi really had no idea what that foolish girl Sinclair had been hoping to accomplish, but with the rate of mutation of her creations, any chemical or electronic controllers would be rendered useless within days, assuming the mutants didn't break themselves apart by then. And if she had been hoping to rely upon actual conscious loyalty, which would have been difficult to establish with beings who had been defiled so fully, he would have given her a week at most before she would have been impaled by an insane guard or rampaging minion.
Though Yoshi had always seen the corruption of the innocent civilians as sort of an "artistic" method of warfare in designing his creations, he had to admit that the demonstrations and projections from Sintek's gene modules had left him shaken.
He found himself more and more appreciative of Igov's love for the pure, unfettered brutality and loyalty of machines. No mind-altering chemicals. No ugly mask to instill fear. No complex neural functions balancing emotion with the required drive to kill.
Just a trigger, a metal dart, and an eighty-pound engine to drive it through a man's skull. It was beautiful in its own right, he had to admit.

"Professor Konta? May I have a word with you?"
Yoshi raised his eyebrow and turned around, not expecting to see Alexandra's young lackey wandering around his facility. "Ah. Bei. What brings you here? It seems a bit unusual for you to be wasting time in the R&D departments when your organization is crumbling apart."
Bei crossed her arms over her chest in a huff, and wished not for the first time that the little man in front of her wouldn't address her by her first name. It was very odd how he treated everyone so familiarly... well, except for Igov. Whether Yoshi's distant politeness to the Russian was an expression of respect or contempt, Bei had no idea.
"For your information, our organization isn't 'crumbling apart'. But now that Core is undergoing serious recruiting and restructuring, we can concentrate on doing the same."
"Wonderful," Yoshi said dryly, openly checking his wrist watch.
Bei's eyebrow twitched, but she reigned in her annoyance. "I'm just stopping by to track some shipments made to your lab. And now that I'm here, and now that I can see that your lab is in full operation, with Wraith personnel and all, it would be my duty to inquire as to WHY." She scowled into the old man's round glasses. "You know about the freeze that was put on the research budget! You were reassigned to a commercial research project in sector 3!"
Yoshi snorted. "Designing the distribution of a tried and tested bio-lubricant and a means of mass-production? Don't insult me." He turned away from the young terrorist and began walking away from her down the hall. "I would work on project Mobius in my living room on my PC, all alone, before I waste my valuable time on such rubbish."
"If you want to do that, then do that!" Bei yelled, rushing up next to the man. "We don't need your help on the project anyway! But you can't be operating this facility!"
"Sure I can," he said simply, not noticing as Bei's face flushed red in irritation.
"NO, you can't!" she shouted at him.
"Can too."
"Can NOT!!"
"Can too times infinity."
Bei immediately fell flat on her face.
Then she got up. "It doesn't matter what you think! You won't get one more yen of Wraith funding!"
The bio-geneticist rolled his eyes and turned toward the young woman. "Bei, the question you SHOULD be asking is: how many yen of Wraith funding have I used so far since the budget freeze?"
The girl stared, not comprehending.
"Let me give you a hint: who paid for the supplies you're here to track?"
Bei blinked. "You did."
Realization smacked into her, and she nearly fell over again.
"Wait! You're saying... YOU'RE paying for all this?" She gestured around at the facility. "Power, chemicals, development, LABOR? All of it?"
Yoshi nodded, his usual smirk adorning his face. "Oh, yes. Most of the staff here was happy to transfer under my control. After all, we face disastrous lay-offs right now, and those who know enough about the Mobius Project are in danger of being 'terminated' in a far more permanent manner. They're all working under reduced pay, but I'm also more reasonable with the hours. So it evens out a bit."
"H-How do you PAY for it all?" Bei stuttered, completely overwhelmed.
The short scientist shrugged. "Patents, grants, investments, favors, and a smidge of good, old-fashioned life's savings. I've accumulated quite a fortune over the years, and I haven't really had the time to spend much of it."
Bei was left gaping. This was bad. But then, this was also very good. On the one hand, Yoshi was now producing vital resources and furthering their research into bio-genetic weapons with his own funds, minimizing risk to Wraith and the Freedom's Angels, and without hindering the rest of their operations. They were essentially getting free weapons.
On the other hand, this left Yoshi Konta, proclaimed unanimously as the most whimsical and dangerous scientist in the entire Angel scientific hierarchy, in direct control over every aspect of the project. Its goals. Its materials. Its tests...
Just how reliable and loyal WAS Yoshi? Bei wouldn't have pegged him for the type to betray his superiors and ally with the enemy, but then again, she really wouldn't have pegged him for the type to ally with ANYONE in the first place, including his current superiors. And now that they weren't paying him...
"Well... uh... yo-you'll still be expected to give full status reports on your progress," Bei said somewhat shakily, trying to project an image of cold control like Alexandra did. The fact that it had always failed to work on Yoshi anyway didn't stop her, either.
"Of course," Yoshi waved his hand dismissively as he pushed into his office. "The details of this project shouldn't be kept a secret. You see, with our depleted manpower, I'm trying to come up with a way to bolster the strength of our remaining forces. And I've already concluded that simply pumping them full of T-virus and allowing for full incubation would be both dangerous and unreliable in its results."
Bei had to nod at that. It wouldn't have been the type of thing she'd volunteer for.
"My current methods of bio-enhancement require the modification of genes before the addition of growth culture. These are most evident in the K-series mutants, and in that clone I made earlier."
"The one with the pineapple underwear?" Bei asked disgustedly. For some reason, that was the thing that stood out the most for her from the entire Viper incident.
"Yeah. Him." Yoshi sighed. "Though the modifications WORKED, they ultimately proved ineffective when the unit was engaged in combat against elite battle units dispatched from the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment. It would prove difficult and ultimately unwise to simply increase the power and level of mutation until an individual unit can match the DA's... 'special' units in single combat. Rather, I'm now investigating methods to safely modify existing stable gene structures to give them superior strength, dexterity, regeneration, and so forth. Meanwhile, my peers are working on methods to accomplish the same thing with cybernetics. It should prove... more useful than simply patching together as much armor as possible over a large gun."
Bei blinked. "You're working on creating super-soldiers?" She stopped to think about it. "How... old-fashioned of you."
"Yes, well, maybe I'll get back to creating clone armies another day," Yoshi mused. "Right now, I'm actually in the process of obtaining a subject for my first human trial."
The brunette looked alarmed. "You're already ready to begin testing on humans?"
"Well... no, not really," Yoshi admitted. "But it's more fun that way."
Bei groaned. "You realize I can't authorize the use of our personnel for experiments when we're so short-handed, right?"
Yoshi chuckled darkly. "Oh, you don't have to worry about that. I've sent for... volunteers... outside the company."
The old man grinned, and Bei shuddered involuntarily. Now what was he up to?
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Easy there... easy does it..." Tycho ever-so gently pushed the slide back as he held the switch on the pressure detonator, and let out a breath he had been holding as he felt it click into place.
Still with some level of trepidation, for Snake's explosives were worthy of a fearful respect whether they were armed or (supposedly) disabled, Tycho walked over to a small crate on the edge of the parking lot and carefully placed the anti-vehicle mine inside next to other stacks of mines.
"Whew!" Tycho wiped the sweat from his brow, and turned toward Kyle, who was standing next to another crate.
"All mines disarmed and accounted for, Commander! This lot is clean!"
The blond man nodded. "Excellent. Now all we need to do is take-"
"Hey, you guys!" Tiro yelled, interrupting his superior officer as he burst out of the side entrance, looking out of breath. "You guys! Come watch! Ranma's training the girls!"
Tycho raised an eyebrow, wondering why that had made Tiro so excited. "So? He does that all the time. And we knew that was what he was doing." Though it was more an excuse than anything else. Apparently Ranma had a problem with disarming mines now.
"Yeah, but he's making them do jumping jacks now!" Tiro said, grinning.
Before Kyle even realized what the significance of that was, Tycho had already reached the side door, and was shoving Tiro along so he could get through. "Later, man! We finished up the hard part already anyway! See ya!"

Kyle rolled his eyes as his two subordinates disappeared inside the building, and went back to hauling his crate into the ordnance room.
Really, he wouldn't have minded watching himself, but he had already started his present task, and didn't like to leave a job half-finished. Whether it was because of some noble sense of determination, or a side effect of his simple-mindedness, once Kyle really started putting effort into something, he kept at it until it was finished, or until somebody smarter than he was told him to stop.
And, well, besides that, one of the girls was his sister. That would've been kind of weird.
Pushing thoughts of Ranma's training session out of his head completely, Kyle hefted the crate and entered the utility door.

Almost immediately after the door closed behind the lieutenant, a white van crept into the premises, moving so slowly through the parking lot that one might guess that the driver had the car in drive, but wasn't actually applying any pressure to the gas pedal.
The van slowly moved up in front of the garage, right atop the area that had been a full mine field only two hours earlier.
One man jumped out of the driver's seat and quickly rushed to the rear of the van, while another man cautiously exited the passenger-side seat, and scanned the area for any signs of life.
"I'm telling you, this is crazy. Didn't I say this is crazy? Why the hell did I sign up for this? No amount of money is worth dying for!"
"Shut up," the driver said irritably, rummaging through his keys to unlock the heavy padlock keeping the rear double-doors closed. "We're not going to die. Just keep watch behind me, okay?"
"Not going to die?" His jittery companion said incredulously. "Do you have ANY idea where we are? DAPC HQ!! Those aren't just a bunch of random letters! They're code for 'base of those who slaughter Angels and laugh'! This is the very seat of their power! We are in the BELLY OF THE BEAST!!"
The driver twitched as he finished undoing the locks. "You volunteered for this, same as me, alright? We're going to do this, and we're gonna get paid and hopefully promoted." He climbed into the van.
"We're going to die, is what's going to happen. No. We won't just die. They don't just kill militants like us, you know. They put us in CAGES and TORTURE us. And then they feed us to man-eating monsters!"
"Don't be ridiculous," the driver said, finishing the setup inside the van and jumping out with a cardboard sign in his arms. "We're the one with monsters, remember?"
"It's true! They have some kind of evil demon dog, with an extra pair of claws mounted on its back! It runs like a cheetah and tears through steel armor!"
"Uh huh. Right," his companion mumbled as he set up the sign outside the rear of the van. "And I'll bet it regenerates mortal wounds and burrows underground too, huh?"
The other man blinked. "Well... uh... I don't know if it can do all THAT..." Then he frowned. "You're making fun of me, aren't you?"
"ME?! Nooooo! Perish the thought!" The driver said sarcastically, finishing up the sign. He stepped back to admire his handiwork, which consisted of a plain cardboard square that said [Free booze!] with an arrow pointing toward the interior of the van.
"Putting aside the fact that we're dead meat," the whiny companion said, "isn't this plan really, REALLY stupid?"
"Better than your plan," the driver said, turning around and watching for anyone coming out of the building. "Do you really think they wouldn't notice if we kidnapped some random guy and dressed him up so that he looked like a DA cop?"
"Hmph." The other man crossed his arms over his chest in irritation. "At least we'd be relatively safe, instead of just meters away from-"
*Gulp!* *Clink!*
Both terrorists jerked their heads to the side as they heard the sound of an empty bottle hitting a metal surface, and each of them gaped openly as Seras Tuko stumbled drunkenly out of the rear of the van.
The inebriated doctor almost tripped as he hopped out of the van and onto the ground, and ended up doing a short, clumsy-looking dance to keep from falling flat on his face.
Once balance was more or less maintained, he frowned and turned toward one of the men staring at him in disbelief. "Your booze is overpriced," he said sourly, adjusting his lab coat around him and stomping off toward the headquarters building in a shaky huff.

The terrorists continued to stare at the man until he had finished entering the building, neither of them having the presence of mind to ambush him, or even draw the concealed pistols they both had on their persons.
"How... How did he... How'd he get in there?" The driver said, flabbergasted. "He couldn't have... I mean I... we were right here the whole... there's no other way to..."
"I'm telling you, man! They're not human!" His companion said, reduced almost to the point of tears. "Let's just go! Let's get out of here!"
The driver growled. "No! We're not leaving yet! Not when we're so close! We can just..." the man trailed off, and then stared at his partner. Or specifically, the candy bar sticking out of his partner's pocket.
The other man backed away. "No! Forget it! It's MY Twix!"
"Shut up and give it to me, you twit," the leader of the two goons said, snatching the candy bar from man's shirt pocket. "I'll buy you another one later."
The second man frowned as he watched his companion jump into the van. "Huh? What're you doing?"
The driver emerged a second later, without the candy bar in hand. Taking a magic marker, he then crossed out "booze" on the sign, and wrote "candy" underneath the mess of black streaks.
His companion was nonplussed. "You know how the first plan was incredibly stupid? This is much, much worse."
"Oh, shut up and hide," the first terrorist said, rushing behind one of the doors and ducking down low, "I think someone's coming!"

Kyle wiped the sweat from his brow as he entered the parking lot again, and headed for the second crate of disarmed mines.
Naturally, the large white van that hadn't been there a moment ago caught his attention before he reached his objective, and he stopped in his tracks.
"Ooh! Free candy!" Kyle grinned and immediately ran over to the van, peering into the rear compartment.
He was about to enter, when, amazingly, a thought struck him.
"Wait a minute... why would a van suddenly appear and give out candy for free? For that matter, why isn't the van's owner around? And why does it look like something was crossed out and replaced with 'candy' on the sign?" The officer frowned and scratched his chin. "As the present leader of the Department, I can't afford to just take off every time a distraction appears! I have to stay sharp! And this looks like an obvious trap!" The blond man finished, nodding decisively as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"It's not a trap!" A voice suddenly shouted. "Honest!"
Kyle looked back and forth around him, trying to figure out where the voice had come from. Scratching his head in confusion, he took another look at the van interior.
Then he shrugged, and climbed inside.
"Twix! Awesome! My favorite!"
*SLAM!!*
The two terrorists quickly rushed to the front of the van after they locked the rear double-doors, and the driver chuckled.
"Eh? EH?! I told you! Quick and easy! Now we're outta here, safe and sound!"
His companion frowned. "Whatever. You still owe me a new Twix bar."
The driver growled, but reluctantly nodded his assent as he pulled out of the parking lot.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Ranma idly took a sip of his soda before he returned to the task at hand, his mind sharp and focused.
This was an arena that afforded no distractions. A battlefield in which hesitation was punished without mercy. A contest of skill where the inferior were weeded out and crushed with no remorse.
And to top it all off, he was LOSING.
"Dammit... dammit... dammit... NO!!" Ranma cried helplessly as one of his strikes went wide, leaving him open to the merciless blade of his enemy. Deaf to his cries, the weapon pierced through him and emerged the other side, impaling him completely. Moments later, his foe pressed his foot against his chest and pushed his katana free, and Ranma grimaced as he was sent over the edge of the arena into the waters below.
Tycho smirked as Mitsurugi went into his victory pose. "I told you, dude. You don't use a Frenchman to fight a samurai."
Ranma dropped his controller in disgust, and picked up his soda again. He didn't prefer the image that Raphael presented either, but he could hardly blame his loss on the nationality of his chosen character.
"Whatever. I just happen to spend my time practicing REAL fighting instead of video games," Ranma said irritably as the next game began with the character selection screen.
"Speaking of which, shouldn't you be instructing the girls or something?" The driver asked, eyebrow raised.
Ranma picked up the controller again and scrolled around the screen. "I already did. They're doing kata and exercises."
Tycho, for his part, couldn't comprehend why Ranma wanted to play games when he could be closely observing two attractive women exercising. "I woulda thought you'd prefer a more 'hands-on' training approach, eh? Winkwink nudgenudge?" The man grinned and jabbed Ranma with his elbow.
The martial artist responded by bopping Tycho on the head to stop the other man from jabbing him. Naturally, he also missed the implications of Tycho's choice of words. "I would, but it's not really worth it for those two." It hadn't taken long for Ranma to figure out that Sakura and Junko weren't at all driven to be combat artists; though it was still good for them to have some basic practice under their belts, and although he actually did see some hidden potential in Junko, neither of them would have put up with even the lightest of training regimens that the Anything-Goes style demanded.
Tycho's eyes bulged as he swiftly misinterpreted his companion. Wasn't worth it? Junko and Sakura were two of the finest-looking women he had ever met, ranking just below Tiro's cousins. And Ranma had so many women that he didn't even think they were worth his TIME? "Dang! You have to hook me up, man!"
Ranma blinked and stared at him. "I have to what?"

Luckily for Tycho, who wasn't about to get through to Ranma anytime soon, and even more luckily for Ranma, who would have lost 138 more rounds of Soul Calibur II that day otherwise, Junko chose that moment to rush into the room, waving a paper over her head.
"Ranma! You have to see this! Come quick!"
Ranma blinked, then pointed at himself. "Me? What is it?"
"It looks like we've got a case!" The redhead said excitedly, having been quite bored with the martial arts exercises when she found that Ranma wouldn't be there the whole time. "A civilian near Naohamake Park said they saw something in the pond there, and there have been numerous disappearances in that area recently!"
Ranma blinked again. "Okay... why are you coming to ME with this?"
Junko sighed. "Because I can't find Kyle."
Tycho and Ranma groaned in unison.
"Well that's just GREAT," Ranma complained. "What am I supposed to do?"
Junko wordlessly handed Ranma an envelope.
The pigtailed man took the envelope, then flipped it over to look at the front. [In case of an emergency] was written on it, and there was clearly a folded piece of paper inside.
Tycho turned toward the redhead. "How come you're always the first one to get a hold of this kind of stuff, anyway?"
"That's not important," Junko said dismissively.
"Yes, it kinda is," Tycho disagreed.
"Oh..." Junko scratched her head. "Well, it's not interesting, then."
"Then keep it to yourself," Ranma said, ripping open the envelope. "Let's see..."
[Fellow officers: If you are reading this, then Kyle Tekai is either dead, lost, incapacitated, captured via a pitifully executed and ridiculously simple trap, or has overslept more than usual.]
The three officers paused to take their own guesses as to which had happened. It was agreed that he was probably either lost or captured.
[In such a case, unofficial command is to be given to Ranma Saotome, as he is first and foremost among you a combat expert, and is slightly more sane than the rest of you. Make no mistake; if Kyle is gone and something has happened that's dire enough for you to open this letter, Saotome is your ONLY chance of getting through a mission alive. I've enclosed a list of general rules and tips to follow as you go through your mission, or investigation, or try to stave off certain death, or whatever.]
Ranma shook the envelope, and another sheet of paper slid out and fluttered onto the floor.
[See you later. Unless you die. Sincerely, Asuka Takami]
"That's IT?!" Ranma shouted as Tycho picked up the list of rules and tips.
After a brief perusal of the document, the driver frowned. "Well, this is slightly less helpful than a kick in the crotch. Now what?"
Ranma tossed Asuka's letter in the trash, and then crossed his arms. "Now I'm in charge? Crud..."
Perplexed, he turned toward Junko and Tycho, who were staring at him doubtfully.
"Tycho!" He shouted suddenly.
The driver snapped to attention. "Sir?"
"Go get Tiro and Sakura immediately!" Ranma commanded, pointing toward the entrance.
Tycho turned and looked at the door. Then he turned back around to look at Ranma. "Do you mean, like, 'now' immediately? Because I'm actually kind of tired, and-" *Stomp!*
The driver didn't waste any more words, making his way to the door as fast as he could while hopping on one leg and holding his foot in agony.
Junko looked at Ranma with a new level of respect. "Wow. Maybe you really can fill in for the Captain." She certainly couldn't think of anyone better able to bully Tycho and Tiro into following orders.
"Hmph. It's still not fair, making me do it," Ranma groused, picking up the note Tycho had been looking at. "Well, let's go find the bad guy and arrest him."
Junko coughed into her fist. "Well, actually, judging by what we already know, it's more likely some type of mutant, really."
Ranma shrugged. "Whatever. Then let's go arrest the mutant."
Junko sighed. 'It's just not the same. I wonder what Snake's doing right now?'
__________________________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile, in Moscow, Russia, just outside the Kremlin...

*KA-KROOM!!*
Alarms began to sound as a third car was torn apart in the main parking lot by an anti-armor shell, exploding violently and throwing bits of shredded steel and flaming debris across the lot.
Snake shook his head, a disdainful expression on his face, which was poking out of the top of large T-62 battle tank.
"I can't believe this post-commie piece of scrap! What kind of a blast radius is that?! Are you snow clowns building cannons or paintball guns?!"
Growling at the weak example of Russian engineering that he had to contend with as he wreaked havoc pointlessly, Snake rotated the turret to aim at the next biggest car in the lot.
He grinned as he heard people barking orders, followed by the multiple clicks of rifles being aimed and primed.
{"You there! Cease fire immediately and come out with your hands in the air! You have until the count of three until we open fire!"}
Snake jerked around, looking surprised as he beheld the small squads of riflemen and rocket-armed soldiers lined up at the edge of the parking lot, yelling at him in Russian.
{"One!"}
Snake reached down into the tank turret, rummaging around in the ammo bay.
{"Two!"}
Pulling out a piece of paper, the Lieutenant beckoned the officer in charge to approach him.
{"Th-Wait! What?"}
{"Come over here!"} Snake yelled in English, hoping that at least one of the clods had done well enough in high school to understand him.
The commanding officer frowned, and then approached the man in the tank, his rifle at the ready (he would have had it up and aimed at his present target, but the turret gun was currently aimed away from him, and both of Snake's hands were visible and empty).
{"I said surrender immediately!"} The Major demanded again, speaking in English this time. {"You are under arrest! ANY resistance will be met with lethal response!"}
{"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Chill."} Snake said casually, waving the paper at the man. {"Here. Read this."}
{"And would this document contain a good reason why I shouldn't have you killed for your unprovoked attack on a government building?"} The soldier asked angrily, taking the paper and scanning it.
Snake grinned when the man's eyes went wide. {"Sorry pal. I've got diplomatic immunity."}
The soldier shouted some nasty-sounding words in Russian, and then turned around in a panic, waving his arms and shouting more Russian at his men. They all immediately put down their weapons.
{"I'm so very sorry, Mr. Snake!"} The Major said, all but groveling before the police officer. {"Please, if there is any way I can make your cruel and unprovoked attack upon our property more enjoyable, do not hesitate to ask!"}
Snake raised an eyebrow, then pointed to the line of soldiers. {"Send that guy to bring me some vodka. Then come back."}
As the Major ran off, Snake turned the turret slightly, aiming for a smaller car that was seated in the parking space clearly marked as belonging to the Prime Minister.
*KA-KROOM!!* "HA!! THAT'S FOR LETTING YOUR DAMN CYBORGS GET INTO OUR COUNTRY!! BURN, YOU MISERABLE PIECE OF... German engineering? That was a BMW? Hope it was insured..." Snake mused, glancing at the small burning Mercedes logo that had bounced off one of the tank's tread covers.
{"Your vodka, sir."} The Major announced, getting Snake's attention.
The Lieutenant snatched up the bottle, took a quick swig, and then turned back to the soldier. {"Give me your gun."}
The Major hesitated as his hand moved toward the strap for h is AK-74. {"Uh... may I ask what you're going to do with it, sir?"}
{"If you MUST know,"} Snake drawled, {"I'm going to hold it by its barrel, like a club. And then I'm going to beat you over the head with it."}
The Major silently lifted the strap over his head, and handed the rifle over to the police officer. {"Yelling or no yelling, sir?"}
{"Oh, by all means, yell."}
__________________________________________________________________________________

Ranma planted his hands on his hips as he stared at the park's main pond, looking it over for any irregularities.
It was a relatively large body of water, with a rock spire in the middle, with a fountain pipe running through the spire and spraying the water out in a uniform dome around the rocks. The water was about twelve feet deep at the bottom, and murky with algae and surface plants such that one could barely see past the surface.
All in all, very pretty. And the observation didn't help his situation at all.
"Okay guys, help me out here. What do we do now?" Ranma asked, turning toward Junko, Tiro, and Tycho, who were all standing together behind him, armed with pulse rifles.
"You're asking us?" Tycho said doubtfully. "You're supposed to be in charge, here."
"Just because the Captain put me in charge in case of an emergency doesn't mean I know what I'm doing," Ranma murmured irritably. 'Why couldn't she have put Junko in charge instead? She seems kind of smart. We probably wouldn't get anything useful done, but we wouldn't be out here doing nothing...'
"I still can't believe Sakura got out of this by taking Hunter for a walk," Tiro grumbled.
"Aw, you're just upset that you didn't think of it first."
Junko sighed. "The man we talked to said that he merely saw a long, snake-like body sliding across the surface of the water briefly, and reported it to a local cop. The cop called animal control. That was two days ago. Both animal control people disappeared when they were dispatched to capture whatever it was in the park, and there have been a few other disappearances recently."
Ranma shrugged and walked up to the edge of the pond.
"What makes them so sure a snake is related to the people's disappearances?" Tiro asked, hoping to throw enough doubt into the case that they could go home.
Junko shook her head. "A water-dwelling snake, in the middle of a small park in Tokyo, with powerful enough venom to kill people?"
"Maybe it's a mutant snake," Tiro offered.
"Which would make it our jurisdiction."

As Tiro cursed his being argued into a corner, Tycho approached the pond from a safe distance behind Ranma.
"So, you going in?" The driver asked, raising an eyebrow.
Ranma grimaced. "Do I HAVE to?"
"Item #14," Tycho began, quoting the list Asuka had left them, "'If a dangerous or possibly dangerous situation arises, Ranma should go in first.'"
The aforementioned officer twitched. "What did I ever do to her?"
"Maybe this is just her unique way of saying she trusts you more than any of us," Tycho offered, patting the other man on the back.
"But she's already said that right to our faces," Ranma countered. "Several times, actually."
"Okay, fine, but... uh..." Tycho trailed off as he noticed a slimy black... thing slide out of the water. "Saotome? By your foot..."
"Huh? What's by my fooOOOWAAAUGH!!" Ranma yelled out in surprise as a slimy, dark tentacle wrapped around his shin, and then pulled him powerfully into the water.
Junko and Tiro, having heard the splash, turned just in time to see Ranma's head and arms get dragged under the clouded surface of the pond.
"What? What just happened?!" Junko said, trembling.
Tycho scrambled away from the pond, almost stumbling into the redhead. "The... It... There was... S-Some THING grabbed Saotome! It dragged him under!"
Tiro gulped. "Then let's get outta here! We can send Hunter in later to kill it!"
"No! We have to save Ranma!" Junko insisted, not willing to let the man die without an attempt made at rescue.
"By doing what? Jumping in after him?!"
"If that's what it takes, then yes!"
Tycho grabbed his head. "Everybody, stop this! We're not getting anywhere like this!" Frowning, he took a folded piece of paper out of his pocket. "The Captain's note says that it's IMPERATIVE that, in the case of an emergency like this, that we don't panic! Rule #6!"
Junko's left eye twitched. "'Don't panic'? That's it?"
"We have to take this one step at a time, Chikiko," Tycho said decisively. "So our first priority should be to calm down, and find a way to remain calm, despite the fact that our most useful companion is being drowned and mostly likely eaten right behind us."
Tiro raised his hand somewhat timidly, surprising his two companions. "I think I know how we can stave off panic, at least..."

"BLRB!! GLMPH!!" Ranma quickly stopped trying to yell as he was dragged deeper under the water, the resourceful part of his mind that was active during dangerous combat situations reminding him that he'd likely have to reserve whatever air he had left in his body.
Twisting around, Ranma glanced at his leg where he had been grabbed, only to see a long, dark shape slip away to the side, and behind him. Very aware of how vulnerable a target he made underwater against a foe that lived there, he started to swim backward toward the edge of the pond, hoping to close off half of his enemy's vectors for attack.
He stopped before he reached the sloped edge, however, noticing a darker cloud of water below him, with small scraps of white visible among the shadows.
Another few seconds of observation, and he was able to make out what the whitish things were: human bones, poking out from what was doubtless a cloud of leftover flesh.
'Well, this case is just about closed,' Ranma thought, once again swimming backward for shore and scanning for any threats. Normally he would have been able to sense any creatures around him through senses more reliable than sight, but the burning in his lungs from lack of air was ruining his concentration.
Suddenly, Ranma's eyes widened as he felt a sharp pain in back of his skull, and he grasped behind his head to feel a thick, slimy cord attached there. Giving a brief tug, he felt whatever had been trying to affect entry into his brain lose its hold, and he grimaced as the slimy creature slid out of his grasp.
For once being glad that his head was much denser than most people's, Ranma quickly rushed for the surface of the water, his oxygen being completely spent.
*GASP!* Breaking the water's surface, Ranma began panting heavily, trying to take in as much air as possible before his attacker came around for him again.
"Hey, look! Saotome's still alive! Hi Ranma!"
Ranma blinked, and then turned to look at his fellow officers. All three were seated around a small block table, with Junko and Tycho on one side facing Tiro. Tiro was passing out cards, and placing two of them face-down in front of each of the others.
"You guys are playing CARDS while I'm being eaten by some water monster?!" Ranma shouted, a vein popping up on his head.
"Don't worry about a thing!" Tycho yelled back at him, waving. "We're staying perfectly calm!"
"I don't think that's what he's worried about," Junko mumbled, observing her cards.
Ranma grit his teeth. "After I finish this thing off, I am SO gonna-GURK!!" His threat was concluded prematurely as his attacker's slimy, eel-like body wrapped around his neck, pulling him back underneath the surface of the water.
Tiro looked at the circle of bubbled doubtfully. "Is he going to be okay?"
"Either he won't, or we won't," Tycho murmured. "Now are you gonna bet, or what?"

Ranma would have growled if he could have spared the breath. He could once again feel the sharp stinging of pointed teeth trying to burrow through his skull, but THIS time, he wasn't going to let the damn monster get away on account of not being able to breathe.
Concentrating his ki, Ranma's body began to glow a brilliant gold, and the general water temperature rose several degrees.

"I'll stay," Junko said, sighing despondently. "It just doesn't feel right, you know? The Captain wouldn't have let Saotome down like this."
"The Captain 'aint here," Tiro said, musing over his own cards. "And we have our orders."
"NO, we DON'T."
"Well, whatever. You know what I mean." Tiro shrugged. "Fighting is what Ranma does. It's his strength. And now, more than ever, we have to stick to what we do best."
"Which in your case, is goofing off," Junko said sourly.
"That, and making inane conversation like this to create filler scenes. Yamazaki, are you staying or what?!"
*BWA-KOOOOSH!* The three officers were startled out of their thoughts as a huge geyser of steaming water burst upward from the infested pond, and they quickly scrambled to keep their cards dry as they were suddenly subjected to a short and violent torrent of rain.
Panting, Ranma slowly shambled out of the pond, holding a charred body in his right hand. It was about the size of a small python, though substantially longer, and the head held only a mouth full of jagged, wickedly curved teeth, rather than the normal assortment of eyes, ears, and nostrils.
Tiro turned back to his cards. "Hit me."
*Wham!*
Tycho winced as the lecherous man went tumbling across the grass, a substantial lump on his forehead. "Well, I think we all saw that coming a mile away. GAK!!"
Ranma's left eye twitched as he held the driver up in the air by the man's collar. "I think we have to have a little talk about this whole 'teamwork' thing..."
Tycho bigsweated. "Would it help if I said I'm glad you're still alive? OW!! OW!! Stop! Please! Not in the face! Not in the face!"
__________________________________________________________________________________

Yoshi grinned as he beheld his newest test subject, strapped down on a long steel table and bereft of his shirt. "Oh yes, this will do nicely." Kyle lay face-up, staring at the light fixture above his head blankly, having been exposed to knockout gas while trapped in the kidnapping van. Now he was in the middle of a large operating station on a sub-floor in Yoshi's lab, surrounded by large observation machines and computers.
Chuckling slightly, the bio-geneticist slid a pair of rubber gloves over his hands as his assistants began plugging wires into Kyle's body in various spots.
While the gene grafts that were used in the non-human mutant strains were both stable and reliable, they couldn't be just applied to a life-form at any stage of development; only the bare, basic embryo, bald of all qualities that make living beings what they are, could properly react to the application of a totally new chromosome structure and grow into the monsters of the Freedom's Angel's mutant army. Thousands upon thousands of sperm and egg samples, some stolen, some bought, some donated by member terrorists, and some taken from the primate test animals, were all combined, one at time, and grown into loyal monsters of twisted flesh and venomous blood, corrupting the minor miracles performed, en masse, by rows of machines on an assembly line.
But this, THIS... this was different. This was greater. To start with a blank canvas and create a work of genius was great. Molding horrid, bloodthirsty life from dying, malformed, improper embryos.
But to look God Himself in the eye, gesture to His creation, and say "Let ME show YOU how it's done"?
Yoshi's hands were twitching in excitement. He might not succeed, he knew. He might fail completely, and his theories might prove worthless, his research misguided. But he would try again. And again. Until he created the Better Human.
"Professor Konta, the subject has been sedated. We're ready to begin," one of the other scientists said, her tone the same boring monotone that always grated on Yoshi's nerves. He knew that they had been all but forced into their current positions, to do work that was at best unethical and at worst apocalyptic, but why couldn't the losers learn to have a little fun with it?
The diminutive scientist sighed and turned to the small rack of vials sitting on a nearby table. They had been manufactured elsewhere and sent here, all with the very utmost care and propriety. Nowadays, the word "T-Virus" tended to give everyone in the FA hierarchy shivers.
The vials didn't really contain any of the dreaded organisms, but rather a virus derived from it, possessing a significantly smaller genetic structure. In removing so much of its DNA, Yoshi had eliminated most of its more dangerous behaviors, such as its ability to mostly circumvent a victim's immune system, its ability to incubate within cells and alter their structure, and its trademark ability to restore minor function to inactive brain tissue. All that was left were the base traits inherent in all viruses, the drive to infect cells and use them to reproduce, and the T-Virus's unique mutagenic capabilities.
Deriving such a base organism had been no small feat, but once the viruses had taken hold of a body, its DNA would become super-sensitive to manipulation in the infected cells. The effect would be temporary; VERY temporary, as the body's natural immune system would quickly and easily adapt an antibody and wipe out the organisms, but that window of time would be plenty of opportunity for Yoshi to wreak havoc on the subject's genetic structure with the gene grafts. And with the added stability of an established, functional biological structure, the alterations could be more severe than he'd attempt with a growing embryo.
Taking one of the vials, Yoshi stabbed the vial head with a hypodermic, and slowly filled it with the gelatinous substance. It would take a full injection directly into the subject's bloodstream to ensure that the virus would spread far enough to get past the body's other biological defense mechanisms and still infect enough host cells.
Yoshi walked up next to the table. "Prepare the tools. We begin-"
*Bing ba-bing bing!* *Bing ba-bing bing!* *Bing ba-binnng bing-bing-bing-bing!*
The assorted scientists and doctors all stared at each other in confusion as their superior was interrupted in his instructions by the song "Oh My Darling Clementine" composed of the tasteless beeping of a cellular phone.
Yoshi twitched. "WHOSE is that? I would think anybody smart enough to perform a surgery this complex would be smart enough to turn their phone off while we're operating!"
"S'mine. Sorry," Kyle mumbled, suddenly yanking one arm free and then using it to free his other arm from the relatively loose restraint.
Ignoring the astonished looks of the men and women surrounding him, the blond man got up and stumbled toward the cloth-covered table where they had stashed his belongings. Once he reached it, he pulled his shirt off the top, carefully put aside his pistol, and then found his cellular phone under his jacket.
*Beep!* "Kyle here. What's up?"
The scientists continued to stare.
"Really? Sorry about that. Wasn't my idea, Saotome. Yeah, I was captured... No, no. I still am."
Yoshi raised an eyebrow at two of the scientists behind him.
"You moron! I told you to sedate him!" The woman yelled at her colleague, shaking her fist.
"I thought you did!"
"What would make you think that?!"
The man pointed toward a monitor sitting right above the one that was even now keeping track of Kyle's pulse, via the wires that were still attached to his body.
"Look at the neural scanner! With that level of brain wave activity, he HAS to be unconscious!"
"You twit! Does he LOOK unconscious to you?"
Yoshi shook his head sadly, and then picked up the needle full of sedative that should have been injected in their test subject.
"I'm sorry Saotome, but there's nothing I can do until they finish experimenting on me," Kyle said, sighing. "No, I don't know what they want to do to me. I hope they just want to make me a robot or something though. I've always wanted a robot arm. That could shoot doughnuts. Wouldn't that be cool if-OW!!"
Kyle flinched, then whirled around to see Yoshi holding an empty hypodermic. "Hey! That hurt!"
"It won't for long," the little man muttered, adjusting his glasses as he looked up at the bigger man.
"Huh? Whaddya me-" Suddenly Kyle's eyes bulged, then relaxed, as if some circuit had shorted out in his brain. "Why Grandma, what big teeth you have..." *Thud!*
Yoshi and another man dragged the police officer back to the examination table, and once again fastened the arm restraints, this time making them a good deal tighter.
The only female scientist of the group frowned. "Strange... the monitor isn't detecting any change in brain wave activity as a result of him being knocked out."
"Stupid thing must be broken."
"Never mind the machines," Yoshi said authoritatively, injecting the mutagenic virus into Kyle's hip. "It's time we got to work..."
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Hello? HELLO?! Kyle! What's wrong? Did they find you?" Ranma yelled into the office phone, his fellow officers gathered behind him.
"You lost the connection?" Junko said apprehensively. Behind her, Sakura was biting her nails nervously, overcome with fear for what might be happening to her brother.
Ranma shook his head. "Nope. He's still connected. He's just not answering. Or he's not there. He just called me grandma, and then I heard a clattering noise."
"Probably the cell phone being dropped," Junko deduced.
"What're we gonna do?! What're we gonna do?!" Sakura cried, shaking as she grabbed hold of Ranma's arm. "What if they hurt him?! What if they torture him?! What if they kill him?!"
Tycho rolled his eyes. "Would you calm down? They wouldn't have captured him just to kill him. They're either using him for human experiments, like he said, or they're just holding him for ransom."
"It doesn't matter what happened," Ranma said decisively, hanging up the phone solemnly. "A fellow officer has been captured! We WILL rescue him!"
"All right!" Junko said, grinning.
"Let's do it!" Sakura shouted excitedly.
The three of them turned toward the exit, and Ranma cleared his throat noisily as Tiro and Tycho tried to sneak out.
"And where are you going?" Ranma drawled, his eyes narrowing. "If the GIRLS can get through this, then you dweebs better be able to."
Tiro sweatdropped. "Uh... well... I was just thinking... someone should probably take Hunter for another walk! So I'm going to be pretty busy..."
"Eh, he'll get plenty of food fighting his way into a terrorist stronghold," Junko reasoned. The zergling didn't like to waste what he killed.
Tycho sighed and turned around. "Okay, well, there's another point. How are we going to find this 'terrorist stronghold'?"
Ranma, Junko, and Sakura blinked.
"What do you mean?" The pigtailed man asked.
"Think about it Saotome," Tycho began, "despite everything we've done to them, and the evidence linking them to terrorist activities, Wraith Laboratories still operates dozens of factories and labs all over Japan. It's only safe to assume that sometimes they also operate out of small terrorist cells, which would be hidden from government resources. And let's not forget private or secret assets owned by Wraith or their subsidiaries."
Tiro nodded several times. "Yeah! Yeah! How are we going to find him?"
Sakura and Junko looked embarrassed, and stared down at the ground.
Ranma shrugged. "Well, let's find the nearest Wraith building and attack it. If he's not there, we'll beat up some guys and see if they'll tell us. And if not, then we'll move on to the next closest building."
Junko winced. "That... isn't a good idea."
"An unprovoked attack on a private business?" Tycho said, raising an eyebrow.
Ranma frowned. "I'm plenty provoked. Aren't you?"
"That's not what he meant!" Tiro shouted in exasperation. "We can't automatically assume that all Wraith assets are terrorists just because Alex funds the Angels with Wraith resources! For that matter, we can't go on a rampage through the city, destroying the complexes one by one!"
Ranma pouted, and crossed his arms over his chest. "That's what Snake would've done."
"And Captain Takami would've stopped him," Tycho countered.
"And Snake would've snuck out and done it anyway!" Ranma countered back.
Tycho slammed his palms down on the desk in front of him. "Well, Snake's an idiot!"
Ranma slammed his own hands down on the same desk. "Well, so are YOU!!"
"I'm a different kind of idiot, though!" Tycho shouted, "Specifically, the cowardly kind!"
"Everybody, stop this!" Junko shouted, afraid that violence could break out at any moment. Not that she was averse to seeing Tycho get slugged, but the DAPC was currently too short on manpower to hospitalize its remaining active officers. "Look, Tiro's right. Until we get more information on Kyle's capture, or at least his whereabouts, we have no choice but to go about our normal operations. We can call up some other agencies and ask them to investigate this. For now, that's pretty much all we can do, okay?"
Ranma grit his teeth, but nodded reluctantly. He couldn't help but feel there were possibilities there, options that hadn't been considered... options that would have come to light had Asuka been there to lead, rather than the department relying on him, coached by a compassionate but inexperienced nymphomaniac.
*Sigh* 'I wonder how the Captain's doing, anyway?'
__________________________________________________________________________________

The next day in Vatican City, just outside the Vatican...

{"And that's why we must ALL work to put pressure on international suppliers and harboring governments to sever support from terrorist organizations! The issue of terrorist activity is no longer one restrained to religious fanatics and Fundamentalist organizations!"} Asuka dictated to the large crowd gathered before the grandstand in English, speaking into a large microphone and occasionally blinking at the flashes of light from the cameras in the background.
{"Terrorism isn't a problem of impoverished people striking out at the wealthy, or restricted to Arab militants lashing out at Jewish civilians! Terrorism is spreading throughout the world, and its causes are becoming more complex, and more diversified. Action must be taken! People of all countries, all religions, all ethnicities MUST band together to stop these threats to the common welfare! Anyone who thinks it isn't their problem, thinks it doesn't affect them, they may turn their backs now, but an attack could come from anywhere strike any target, relevant or not! I've been into the battlefield, and I know the enemy! He is not one concerned about your place in the conflict! He is a beast, a murderer, who thinks his gun places him above the common moral ground! And ONLY when facing down a different gun, does he begin to contemplate the consequences of his actions!"}
Asuka slammed her hands palm-down onto the speaking podium as she moved to the next section of her speech, ignoring some kind of minor scuffle taking place behind a lighting partition that was creating a racket. {"Those who preach patience and tolerance, and stand by preparing words of reason while people are dying have their place in this conflict! Eliminating the roots of terrorism by fighting poverty and bigotry are important! But it is more important to preserve the lives of the innocent, above ALL ELSE!! It is up to us to-"}
*Clang!* Asuka winced as a heavy object from behind the platform fell over, apparently from the scuffle behind her.
'What's going on back there? And where's Snake?! He's supposed to give the second part to this speech! Not to mention he could probably help out security with whatever's going on down there!'
Asuka cleared her throat meaningfully, regaining the attention of the crowd, much of which was trying to get a glance of what was happening behind the podium.
{"As I was saying, it is up to us to-"}
{"POEOPLE OF VATICAN CITY!!"} Snake yelled, interrupting Asuka again as he ran up to join her on the platform.
"Snake?! What are you-" the Captain's eyes bulged as she saw what her subordinate held in his hands. "Is that... please tell me that isn't..."
Grinning triumphantly, Snake held the holy miter in his hands high above his head. {"BEHOLD!! FOR I POSSESS THE POPE HAT!! I AM YOUR NEW POPE!!"} And with that, he put the miter down on his head, at the same time that Asuka put her face in the platform.
{"There he is!"} An old man, notably without a hat on, shouted, pointing at Snake. {"He stole my hat! Seize him!"}
The old man's bodyguards reached the stand a moment later, holding the areas of their bodies that had been pummeled by falling equipment.
Upon sighting Snake, they immediately fell to their knees and bowed their heads.
As did the other two thousand or so people gathered to hear the speech.
{"ALL HAIL THE NEW POPE!! GLORY TO THE HAT!!"} Rang out from the gathered crowd in a booming wave.
Still face-down on the platform, Asuka twitched.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Mia nodded as Ranma finished telling the story of Kyle's apparent abduction, taking notes on a pad of paper as she did so. Across from her, Mizu patted Ranma on the back fondly, trying to cheer up the despondent man as he told the story.
"I see. While I find it difficult to believe Kyle was imprisoned and still had access to his cell phone, I'm going to give all this the benefit of the doubt for now," the Colonel said evenly, projecting a powerful aura of professionalism. "You have my word that this investigation will be given the highest priority, and we'll keep you updated the moment we find anything."
Ranma sighed in relief. "That's great. I was afraid you guys were going to laugh and blow us off like the last three guys."
Mia and Mizu sweatdropped. Local police, SWAT teams, and the primary intelligence division in Tokyo were less than sympathetic when they heard that every superior officer in the DAPC was gone. Mia imagined that some of them were already padding their budgets so that they could afford office parties.
The Colonel's expression softened. "You don't have to worry. Core wouldn't let the son of one of its officers down so easily. Umezeki has influence, at least."
Mizu squeezed Ranma's shoulder. "It must be hard to continue with operations without a coordinator."
"It's hard continuing operations when everybody I'm supposed to be leading has the combined I.Q. of a doughnut," Ranma said sourly, causing the two women to chuckle. He was exaggerating, of course, as Junko actually seemed relatively intelligent, but that same intelligence was hampered by inexperience with violent situations, plus the occasional urge to flirt with every good-looking guy who came around, as well as her co-workers.
"Well, Captain Takami will be back in a day or two, now that you've informed her of the situation. Until then..." Mia trailed off as she saw Ranma biting his lip and fiddling with his fingers nervously. "Something wrong, Saotome?"
Ranma chuckled nervously. "Uhm... well... it's funny, really. All the contact numbers and addresses she left... well... they're all fake."
The two brunettes blinked. "What?"
"Like I said, it's kind of funny. When she turned in the required forms including contact numbers, she just copied some of the numbers from the DAPC's officer database. I didn't even realize I was calling my own house until I heard my answering machine. Heh! I guess she really doesn't want to be disturbed."
Judging from Mia and Mizu's expressions, they were less than sympathetic to the Captain's plight.
"Don't you think that's kind of... irresponsible?" Mizu said irritably, a little upset that her dearest friend had been placed in such a situation.
"Yeah, I guess it is," the pigtailed man allowed. "I really miss her."
Then he scratched the back of his head apprehensively. "Actually, that brings me to my next question... seeing how we don't have anyone to take charge of the crew, I was kind of hoping one of you could... uh... you know, do me a favor and help out for a week? ... Or two?"
Both women recoiled immediately, trembling.
"Y-You want one of US to head the D-Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment?" Mia asked shakily, her eyebrow twitching. "I couldn't possibly do that! I have... uh... important Colonel's duties to perform here! Yeah!"
"And I'm just a private," Mizu explained nervously, "rank-wise, I'm no higher than the rest of you!"
Ranma immediately rounded on the less important of the two excuses, and Mizu took a step back in surprise as the pigtailed man suddenly fell down onto his knees and clasped his hands together in front of her.
"That doesn't matter! We don't need an officer! We just need someone who's level-headed to kick us around when we're goofing off in the middle of an assignment! I'll owe you a favor! I'll owe you a dozen favors! I'm begging you, help us out, here!"
Mizu bigsweated as Ranma kept pleading. On the one hand, Ranma was her dearest friend, her primary love interest, and the man she most wanted to have indebted to her.
On the other hand, she had met Asuka Takami and the others. If the woman hadn't been born cynical and angry, then it was those men and women under her command who made her that way. It was also worth mentioning that the DAPC's mission reports claimed to have established violent contact with various hostile monsters at least twice a week. That they somehow had survived it all without a single casualty (at least, they had since the last time the DAPC had been restaffed) was a minor comfort, considering that most of their effective combat manpower was currently indisposed.
"I... I can't! We've been on high alert recently! I can't abandon my job here to-"
Mizu was interrupted as Mia suddenly slapped a signed piece of paper over her chest.
"Private Kotetsu, I hereby grant you two-week paid leave for the purpose of conducting DAPC operations, as it seems necessary in order for the department to continue its critical operations." Mia did her best to keep a straight face, looking for all the world like she was making a logical, reasoned decision that was for the best.
Which it was... pretty much... she DID have many things to do... well, things that she should do, anyway...
'Okay, fine. So I screwed her over,' Mia admitted as Mizu glared at her. 'But it's worth it so long as I don't have to go. The DAPC is a nightmare for those who even cross it, never mind those regularly involved with it.'
"Thank you, Mizu!" Ranma cried, grasping his friend in a tight, and apparently surprising hug.
"W-Wait! I... I haven't said..." Mizu started to mumble as her body relaxed in Ranma's grasp. She almost shuddered as she felt his arms pressed around her waist. Those arms were capable of breaking her right then and there, like a toothpick in pruning shears, yet she felt completely safe. Not only safe, but... protected. Cared for. Loved...
"Urk!" Mizu snapped out of her sudden daze as she caught Colonel Tokima winking at her. 'Damn that woman!' "I guess... I'll do it, then." Ranma smiled broadly as he retracted himself and held her at arm's length, his hands on her shoulders. "But you totally owe me one," Mizu said sharply, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Of course I do! And I'll return the favor! I swear! Anything you want!" Ranma said quickly, nodding his head. A little voice in the back of his mind noted that he would probably regret saying those words, but he ignored it. Even his most successful strategies and decisions usually came back to bite him in the ass; why start being cautious now?
Mizu nodded slowly, already imagining how she'd call in the favor. Making him take her out to dinner was a start, of course, but in order to properly determine exactly how much he'd have to do to make it up to her, she was going to have to actually get through her end of the bargain and determine how hard it was.
'Oh, what am I worrying about? I'm the one who's always saying the DA isn't as bad as everyone says. How horrible could it be?'
__________________________________________________________________________________

Two days later...

"GET. OFF. ME. NOW!!" Mizu screamed, kicking violently as Tiro clung to her lower body, paralyzed with fear.
Growling, she finished reloading her sidearm, and then continued firing into the small crowd of zombies that shuffled slowly toward their position, too panicked to aim for making headshots as had been repeatedly suggested to her.
*Blam!* *Blam!* The nearest zombie jerked back as Mizu concentrated her fire on it, but didn't fall down before the powerful .45 caliber slugs that pierced its chest.
*Thwack!* It did fall down, however, as a powerful kick ripped its head right off of its neck.
Ranma zipped past as Mizu started firing into the larger group of attackers. "Hey, watch where you're firing! The vamp zombies aren't dead yet! We can still save them!"
"How the hell am I supposed to tell which ones are 'vamp zombies'?!" Mizu screamed.
Tiro, who was still clamped onto her waist more tightly than her belt, calmly explained. "The ones that have little to no physical damage are the ones that have vamps on them. We have to knock them out. The bloody, nasty ones with the bulging veins and fatal-looking wounds are the actual undead zombies."
"DIDN'T I ORDER YOU TO GET OFF ME?!?!" The female soldier shouted in frustration. Not that she was overly concerned about being fondled when a horde of mindless killers were approaching from all directions, but the extra weight was going to make it hard to run if she had to.
"Yes, you did." Tiro replied honestly. "Carrier above."
Mizu blinked. "What? Gugh!" The temporary leader of the department gagged as a thick black tentacle darted down from a fire escape above and wrapped around her neck and head. "MMPH!! HMMM!!" She clawed desperately at the thick length of slimy muscle, but to no avail as she felt the appendage slowly lift her upward.
"Hey, Tycho!" Tiro shouted, having finally disengaged himself from Mizu (he wasn't so selfish as to not realize that the added weight might tear her neck right apart), "We need some fire support over here!"
"We need fire support everywhere!" The driver shouted, nonetheless turning the M90 heavy machine gun up toward the carrier standing on the metal grating of the fire escape.
*RA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA!!* The stream of bullets rapidly tore the mutant apart, and it spasmed horribly as huge gouts of black slime and gray ooze burst from its back and onto the brick wall behind it.
Mizu felt the muscles wrapped around her head tremble, and then the entire tentacle went slack, dropping her roughly onto the ground.
Before Sakura, who was hiding in an alley mostly set apart from the conflict, could help, Tiro had already rushed up to her and was feeling her over... for injuries, of course.
"Are you all right? Where does it hurt? A vamp! Here, let me get it!"
Mizu would have smacked, and possibly even shot the man before her, except that he was indeed producing several of the mutant parasites from her body and discarding them. She decided to wait until he was finished before hurting him.
*SMASH!!* *Crack!* Such trivial affronts to her person were again pushed to the back of her mind as the wall across from her exploded outward by a sudden application of pure brute force.
"MAULER!! Run for it!" Tycho shouted, using his machine gun to smack away a vamp victim who got too close.
"Tycho, what are you doing?! You have the heavy weapon! Shoot it!" Junko shouted in frustration.
"Nuh-uh! It's scary!"
*Toomp!* *Krnch!*
Mizu winced as the huge combat mutant stomped toward her, grinding the remains of the wall under its feet. "Tiro! You've faced these things before, right? Do something!"
The lecherous man frowned as the monster approached, and then withdrew his firearm.
Then he dropped it in Mizu's lap. "Here! Use my gun! I'll go get help!" Then he ran away, toward the alley where Sakura was holding their escape route. "HEEEEEEELP!!"
Mizu whimpered as the mutant stomped up to her and raised its claws to the attack. 'What did I do to deserve this?'
Then the monstrosity jerked backward, suddenly unbalanced as Ranma jumped onto its shoulders and wrenched its head back.
"Oh no you don't, you freak! Pick on someone your own size!" The K-series mutant awkardly made short lunges for its head, managing to bend its over-muscled, stubby arms such that it came reasonably close to grabbing Ranma without gouging its own skull.
Ranma dodged the attempts to remove him easily, and then glanced at the back of the mauler's head. Like all the others he had seen, this one had a metal tube coming from the back of its skull that curved down and entered the mutant's back at an angle, as if it was following along the creature's backbone.
'Hey, that might be important... and even if it's not, what the hell?' Ranma shrugged and grabbed hold of the tube, bracing his legs against the mauler's shoulders as he pulled hard on it.
"Hrrrgh!" *Shrrrrack!* Surprisingly, the first end of the tube to tear free of the mutant's body was the lower section rather than the top, and Ranma grimaced as he found the end of the tube he was holding connected to a section of the mutant's spinal column... much of which he had also torn right out of its back, among gratuitous quantities of muscle and gore.
"Yuck."
Mizu, who mostly hadn't moved since she had almost been killed for the seventh time since this mission had begun, flinched as the K-series mutant suddenly dropped to its knees, having lost all motor function in its lower body.
The mauler began to teeter left and right, and it's huge arms waved about comically as it tried to keep from falling over.
"GREEEEEAAAUGH!!" It's descent to Earth was hastened as Hunter finally finished tearing through the ranks of the zombies and lunged for it, slamming the creature onto its back with such speed that Ranma barely had time to jump off first. "SHREEE!!" *Shrack!* *Shlp!* *Snap!*
Still on the ground, Mizu sniffled, and a lone tear escaped her eye and dribbled down her cheek.
'Please, Captain Takami... come back!'

**********************************************************************************

Zombies slain: 31
Vamp victims saved: 22
E-type mutants destroyed: 3
K-type mutants mutilated: 1
G-type mutants slaughtered: 2
(Okay, fine, so they all came from that one scene! So sue me!)

End Chapter 18