Disclaimer: Who cares about Ranma? I own Snake! Ha ha ha! That's right, he's mine, and I can make as much money off of him as I want! All bow before the Guru of Gunnery!

Guardian
Chapter 9
The Hotel of Horrors

**********************************************************************************

"Are you sure about what that guy saw? Sounds like something out of a horror story to me."
"He swears he saw it. The way he was acting, he had to have seen SOMETHING. And not many animals around here look like he described."
The first security guard grunted, and moved a branch out of his way as he continued walking through the forest, his partner right behind him.
"Yeah, well I'm willing to bet he just had too much rum. I can't believe they actually sent us out here to try and track down some stupid fairy tale." The man snorted as he thought over his orders. Supposedly there was some kind of mutant creature that was causing a fuss in Tokyo, and one of the managers that had heard of it freaked out when he heard the hysterical customer's story about a monster in the woods. Now he and his partner were combing the woods surrounding Okinawa's premier resort hotel, searching for monsters.
"I'm telling you, they probably just made that thing up to get a good story in Tokyo. Mutants and terrorists. Feh." His companion shrugged as they both made their way into a clearing.
"Be that as it may, you ever get the feeling that you've just been set up?"
The first security guard blinked. "What?"
"You know, almost like a plot device?" The second man clarified. "Like you're just a part of a bigger story?"
The first man eyed him carefully. "I'm not sure I know what you mean..."
His companion looked thoughtful for a moment, then spoke again. "Well, for example, say that we were just two completely unsuspecting victims, and our only purpose for existing was to spur on the rest of a much bigger plot line with our bloody deaths. You ever wonder about that?"
The first man stared at him incredulously. "No, I never have."
"Oh. Forget I mentioned it then." The second guard waved his hand as if discarding the subject, then looked over his friend's shoulder. "Carrier." *Click* *Blam!!* *Blam!!* *Blam!!* *Blam!!*
The first guard dove to the side as his partner fired, and stared wide-eyed as the pale, bone-thin body of an E-series mutant, commonly known as a "carrier" fell nervelessly onto the ground, its bullet-torn head oozing a thick, black slime. All around the creature, small black slugs slithered away from the dead body, suddenly deprived of the electrical charges necessary for their survival.
"Wha... tha... it... but..."
The second guard didn't seem nearly so surprised, and walked over to help his companion up. "Wow, guess they are real, huh?"
The confused and terrified guard stared up at his partner, stared down at the hand that was offered to him, and then stared at the incapacitated carrier, its arms still clawing slowly at the dirt as if fighting death. Then he fainted.
__________________________________________________________________________________

*Authorities have heavily investigated the destruction of the off-shore platform, as well as searching extensively for any link between the invasive Russian warships and the powerful tornado that witnesses claim caused the structure to collapse. Russian officers claim that one of their ships were commandeered by terrorist forces, and then used to spread a biological contaminant in the water's of the bay. The officers of the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment, the group of officials that claim the destruction of the platform as "collateral damage", back up the story perfectly, but military officials remain skeptical. Reportedly, this follows a very colorful history of "collateral damage" that has followed the DAPC's relatively short life.*
Ranma, Asuka, Sakura, Junko, Tiro, and Tycho all glanced at Snake.
"What?! Ranma did it this time!" He shifted uncomfortably at the stares.
"You started it!" Ranma shot back.
*Investigation of the area concludes that there's no trace of any biological contaminant in the water, or for that matter, ANY surviving biological life in the waters surrounding the platform. Some researchers have attributed this to the platform's thermal core overheating, while others have speculated that perhaps the mysterious contaminant killed all the sea life and then burnt itself out.* The light tone of sarcasm made it clear that the journalist was accepting the former theory as the truth. *Authorities HAVE, however, finished investigating the nuclear submarine that was destroyed next to the platform, and concluded that it had in fact been captured by hostile forces. This is supported by witnesses that have reported hearing gunfire near the docks yesterday morning. The incident has sparked much debate and confusion in Russian and Japanese relations, and the remaining submarines have left Japan for fear of political repercussions.*
"What, they believe the Russians, but not us? That hardly seems fair," Tiro muttered.
"Actually, they only believed them up to the part about the whale trying to eat the submarine. Once their story started to mesh with ours, their credibility went out the window." Junko clarified.
*With the repeated terrorist attacks throughout the city, the increasing numbers of mutant sightings, the continued corporate breakdown and widespread corruption, the report of a rogue Russian military leader loose in Japan, and the complete and utter destruction of a crucial component of Japan's future economy, the public is demanding action and accountability by the government. The Prime Minister replied promptly, firmly shifting blame for all the previously stated incidences, as well as the random paths of destruction in areas of suburban Tokyo and the recent upsurge in panty thefts, on the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment.*
"The more things change, the more they stay the same," Ranma muttered sourly.
*It has also been noted that to decrease the probability of more widespread destruction, the Tokyo City Council is temporarily suspending DAPC operations within the city until more detailed reports can confirm the whole incident. On that same note, it has been reported that if any of the DA officers are ever found within sniper range of the remaining oil platform, they are to be shot on sight and without warning. This is especially ironic, since a confirmed terrorist sighted within that same area is to be contacted and asked to surrender first. However-* *Click*
Everyone in the DAPC main office sweatdropped as they processed that last bit of information. Asuka lowered the remote control, and turned on her heel to look over her subordinates.
"Well everyone, it would appear that with the destruction of the very structure we were trying to save, we have unanimously become Japan's scapegoat." Though her voice was perfectly calm, Ranma swallowed deeply as he saw the plastic remote control in her hand start to crack and splinter as her grip tightened.
Ranma looked at Snake. Snake looked at Ranma. "He did it!" They shouted, pointing at each other.
*Crack!* The remote control snapped into plastic shards that rained down onto the police captain's feet. She didn't seem to notice, and again her voice did not rise as she spoke. "It doesn't matter who did it. Bottom line is, we got our job done, and possibly saved some lives. That's what counts. That we destroyed a major economic facility is unfortunate, but we'll take the heat for it and that's that. You are all dismissed." She casually swept some of her hair behind her shoulder, and began walking toward her office, the very picture of stone-like calm.
'Whoa,' Ranma thought, 'she's taking this really well. The way she'd acted before, I was expecting something more like...'
That thought trailed off as Asuka stopped in front of him, trembled mightily, then suddenly grabbed his shoulders and planted her face into his chest.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! This can't be happening!! *Sob* We were supposed to be heroes!! *Gasp* *Sob*"
'... Well, not quite like this,' Ranma mentally amended as his mind went into panic mode, trying desperately to deal with the woman with her arms wrapped around his neck who was bawling into his shoulder. A wild look around revealed everyone either staring at the scene in surprise or slowly backing away from the scene nervously.
"*Sob* The news was supposed to say, 'Brave officers of the DAPC defeat terrorist faction and save Tokyo'!! *Sob* *Choke* 'DA officers go above and beyond the call of duty to protect Japan'!! *Sniffle* 'Captain of the DAPC awarded medals for bravery and tactics'!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
Ranma bigsweated and searched for something to say. "Hey, c'mon! We did great! What do they know, anyway?"
Asuka's head shot up, her eyes twin windows of heat and anger.
'Oops. Wrong answer.'
Because she already had her arms around his neck, it was a rather simple matter for Asuka to reposition herself so that her hands were around his neck instead.
"It's all YOUR fault I didn't get my good publicity!! YOU blew up the platform!! ARRRRGH!!!" She began strangling him violently, and Ranma's face began to turn purple.
"Hey! *Cough* Snake *Hack* blew the *Choke* core!" Ranma tried to pry Asuka's hands off his throat, only to have his superior officer suddenly stop strangling him and stare him dead in the eyes.
"He's next," she pronounced the simple statement as one would a death sentence, and Snake nearly fell over in his scramble for the exit.
And was thus almost hit in the face, as Kyle pushed the front door open, waving a conspicuous-looking manilla folder in one hand. "Hey Asuka! Get a load of this!"
Asuka blinked, and unconsciously let go of Ranma, who fell to the floor in a heap. "What is it now, Kyle?"
Kyle smiled and stuck the folder out in front of her. "Check it out! New orders!"
Asuka blinked once more. "Orders? We were just suspended on national television. How could we be getting orders?" She took the folder, and stared at the big red markings on the front. "Top-secret? Why would they give us anything confidential?"
Kyle shrugged. "I didn't say they were OUR orders. But I was visiting my dad over at the military base, saw this thing lying around, and picked it up to read. I guess I forgot to put it back." Kyle chuckled in embarrassment as everyone else grew sweatdrops. "It's pretty interesting! You should read it!"
Ranma watched tiredly as Asuka scanned over the papers and quickly lost sight of everything else. "I have a BAD feeling about this."
__________________________________________________________________________________

Bei held her head down slightly as she followed her boss down the corridor of Wraith Lab's underground research facility, every wary of the elder woman's vicious temper. Alexandra had been none too pleased to see her plans at the oil platforms go awry, and was currently trying to let out all her frustration before she had to report to her superiors, a task that Bei didn't envy in the least.
Alex stopped at the door to her special office, and took a deep breath before stepping in.
Taking out the remote control from its usual place, she spared a sharp look at Bei, causing the smaller woman to nearly stumble over herself as she evacuated the room.
"Activate command module. Password: venom." Alex muttered darkly.
*VOICE RECOGNITION CONFIRMED. SUBJECT ALEXANDRA TOKIMA IDENTIFIED. ACCESS GRANTED, LEVEL BETA. COMMAND?*
Alex sighed. "Access wavelength frequency 87-4."
*CONFIRMED. COMMUNICATION LINK ESTABLISHED.*
The wall opened up, and Alexandra could already imagine the heat in her superiors' shadowed gazes as the screens activated.
#4 was the first to speak. "Ah, Miss Tokima. It's been too long since your last report."
Alex bowed her head. "Yes, I apologize. Again, I've been busy."
A chuckle emanated from #1's speaker. "Yes, we've seen what you've been up to."
Alex winced. "I assume you refer to the incident concerning the oil platforms?"
#3 nodded. "Yes, we do. And we'd like to congratulate you on your success!"
Alex bowed her head once more. "Forgive me. It was my responsibility, and I am willing to accept the conse-" she stopped, and blinked. "...... Success?"
"Your plan was nothing short of brilliant!" #2 crowed, "an entire division of Core soldiers, and the platform, all wiped out in one fell swoop!"
Alexandra sweatdropped. "Huh? Well, yeah, but-"
"And then to get the blame placed upon the DAPC! Fabulous!" #1 laughed at the irony.
"I suppose, but I was really trying to-" Alex was again cut off.
"Was that planned, or did the DA really just walk in and blow up the platform?" #5 mused.
Before Alexandra could answer, #4 snorted. "Please, she had to have planned that. There's no way they could be that stupid."
"Er, actually-"
"AND, with the Russian task force in chaos, they've abandoned the search for Yuchtzky and fled Japan!" #3 laughed. "I'm not certain if you planned that as well, but it worked flawlessly!"
Alex stared at the screens helplessly. "Uh... thanks?"
#5 nodded. "Yes, yes. Speaking of our friend Igov, he's provided us with some very interesting schematics. We were going to give him his own task force and just let him run around and create havoc, but in light of your exceptional performance, we've decided to put him under your command, alongside Konta."
Alex blinked, still trying to recover from all the unexpected praise. "You have my utmost gratitude. I'll try to live up to your expectations."
#2 chuckled. "Don't worry about it! Oh! And we've also got a new assignment for you!"
#3 picked it up. "Intelligence confirms that Shiromir Incorporated is holding an executive retreat at the Yukado Resort Hotel in Okinawa. As these are the same executives who continue to resist our attempts at hostile takeovers and sabotage, this would be an ideal time to simply wipe the whole lot of them out at once."
#5 laughed. "A remote location surrounded by forest and swamp and an army of monsters! Who could resist?"
#1 cleared his throat. "While this does provide a unique opportunity, there is some bad news. This area was recently used as a wide-range test site for the latest shipment of E-series mutants you've sent to us. One of the carriers... exceeded mission parameters, and attacked the Yukado. It was destroyed. Luckily for us, the hotel wants to keep the incident as quiet as possible, and there's still much skepticism among the Japanese populace towards the recent mutant attacks. Security will be heightened, but it shouldn't offer any significant resistance."
Alexandra nodded seriously. "Of course. I will begin the preliminary planning immediately."
#2 chuckled as he stared down through his shadowed camera. "We're sure you'll do just fine, Tokima. Now go! And free this country from its oppressors!" He slammed a dark fist on an off-screen table, and the various screens all winked off.
Alex stood in silence for a long while, staring at the wall as it closed over the hidden communications screen. 'Well, that went better than I expected.' She mused. "BEI!!!"
There was the sound of heels pounding on sleek steel floors as her assistant rushed to the room, and the smaller woman almost fell into her boss as she barrelled through the door.
Alexandra smiled at her. "Bei, find some people to drive the tanks. We're going out for a ride."
__________________________________________________________________________________

Ranma scratched his head. "So, wait, you actually fitted him with a collar?"
Seras nodded. "Yup. I was considering getting him a license with his name on it too, but I thought that might be too degrading."
Ranma stared at the man crouching inside the 4' X 4' cage as he twitched irritably. He was currently hunched over on all fours, and had a bright red collar around his neck with a great many wires sticking out of it.
"And so, you just push that button, and it gives him an electric shock?" Tiro shot a glance at the small, one-button remote control that the medical professional had tucked in his coat pocket.
"That's right!" Seras grinned, and took a quick swig of rum from one of the many bottles lining his work table. "Would you believe that in America, they actually say things like this are inhumane?"
Ranma cocked his head to one side. "So, does he do tricks or anything?"
The terrorist growled and was about to say something, but immediately shrunk back when Seras gestured to the remote. "I taught him to beg for food and water. Wanna see?"
Before Ranma or Tiro could answer, Asuka burst into the room. "You guys! You guys! This is perfect! Come on, we're going!"
Tiro blinked. "Going? Going where? We're all suspended from operations!"
Asuka smirked at him. "Operations within the city!" She corrected, poking him in the nose with her index finger. "But, we can still work in, say, Okinawa!"
Ranma blinked. "I don't follow."
Asuka's expression didn't waver. "Just pack your casual clothes and guns! We're leaving this afternoon!" Still smiling, she turned on her heel and walked out, humming to herself.
Ranma found himself staring after her, and shook his head. 'Man... she's kinda cute when she smiles...' then he shook his head, and looked away bitterly. 'Knock it off, man! You remember what became of the last time you thought that!'
Tiro tapped Ranma on the shoulder. "Hey man, you okay? You kind of spaced out there."
Ranma blinked. "Huh? Oh! Uh... it's, er... the terrorist's trying to escape!" Ranma blurted out, trying to cover.
"No I wa-*ZAAK!!!* GYAAAAUGH!!!"
Seras clicked his tongue as he put the remote control back into his pocket. "Now now, what have I told you about trying to get out? Do we have to go through another 'lesson'?" The tattooed man whimpered pathetically as wisps of smoke curled up from his hair.

Ranma ignored the scene as he stepped out of the lab area, stepping over the empty bottles lying across the floor. "C'mon Tiro, we have to pack."
Tiro followed, hands in his pockets. "I wonder what for? Civilian clothes and guns?"
Ranma smirked. "Maybe we're going undercover to try and protect the potential victims, catch the bad guys, and destroy a secret enemy facility."
Snake chose that moment to pass the pair in the hallway, hauling a box full of explosive charges. "Yeah, and Takami won't even let me bring the flamethrower! I've told her again and again! 'Spy missions always end up being demolition-fests'! But does she listen to me? Noooooo... Hasn't she ever seen the James Bond movies?" He continued muttering to himself as he reached the backdoor, and kicked it open.
Tiro turned to Ranma. "You think you're funny, but you're not."
Ranma sighed.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Alexandra sighed contently as the small convoy lumbered along one of the many unpaved back roads in this region of Okinawa, the scent of fuel and oil lingering amidst the fresh scent of the trees. Right behind her, Bei waited patiently at the wheel of a jeep.
The roads all led to the Yukado Hotel, and were used by supply trucks and employees, so as not to interfere with the customers. The Freedom's Angels hadn't run into any employee vehicles, but an eighteen-wheeler carrying a load of fresh towels now decorated the side of one such road, a large blackened hole in its side.
"Take the tanks into the side road that leads to the backup generator and park them there!" Alex yelled to the battalion commander, who nodded back to her. "You know what to do if someone finds you! But try to keep it quiet!" The commander nodded again, then ducked into the tank and led the armor column forward.
Alexandra smirked, then climbed into the jeep behind her. "Let's go, Bei." The smaller woman nodded, and pulled the vehicle onto the road before heading toward the hotel.

Alex was pleasantly surprised to see Igov standing outside of the Yukado service entrance, flanked by two Russians with no visible weapons handy.
"Yuchtzky! What are you doing here?"
He chuckled deeply. "Igov has come to give schematics for keeping the tanks in repair. IS-2 is very old, and can be unreliable if not properly maintained." With a wave of his hand, both guards turned and entered the building.
Alex nodded appreciatively. "Thank you. I see you shaved. I like the new look."
Igov grinned, and light flashed off the red lens of his cybernetic eye. Indeed, his beard was gone, and his plain trench coat had been replaced by a heavier, more elaborate one. It was cashmere rather than leather, and appeared to be heavily padded. It was also decorated with many medals and decorations collected from Russian military service, including a few that clearly emphasized the hammer and sickle of the old Soviet Union.
"Igov has also come to ask for favor. Wraith owns new testing facility on outskirt of Okinawa, correct?"
She nodded.
"I require workspace to make some... new toys. If you could put facility under my control, it would greatly benefit you."
Alexandra smiled, and was about to answer him, when a very different voice interrupted them.
"I'm afraid that this request isn't possible. You see, that facility is mine."
Alex's eye twitched, and Igov's smile became far less pronounced. "Konta..."
Sighing, she turned around and glared down at the shorter man, who was standing at the edge of the hotel loading area.
Yoshi walked up to Alex calmly, his face a great deal more neutral than usual. "I have need of another lab for a little side-project I've been working on, since you seem to disapprove of my altering Project Mobius for such things."
Alex kept on glaring. "What are you doing here, Konta?"
The little man raised an eyebrow. "I'm just here to give you my updated budget requirements, which includes the structure in question, as well as making a little delivery for you." He handed Alex a small folder, which she snatched away and opened.
Igov stepped forward, and began to walk in a circle around the bespectacled scientist. "So you are Konta. Igov has heard a great deal about you."
Yoshi looked up tiredly into the much taller man's cybernetic eyepatch. "Oh? You don't sound terribly impressed."
A small smile formed at the corner of Igov's lips. "Your work IS impressive. If not... inefficient."
"Really?" Yoshi deadpanned.
Igov smiled fully. "These... viruses. Mutants. Parasites. These are not the tools of war! They cannot replace bullets and armor!" He shook his head.
Yoshi rolled his eyes. "Oh? Maybe you'd feel differently if you were to pit your 'bullets and armor' against them." His cruel grin would have made a lesser man shudder, but Igov didn't even flinch.
Alexandra cleared her throat, and both men turned toward her. "Konta, level with me. Why do you need all this?"
The diminutive scientist blinked, and adjusted his glasses. "Oh, just to play around a little, you know? Maybe I could even do something about those DAPC that keep interfering with your plans."
"Ju-Just 'play around'?!" Igov shouted incredulously. Yoshi ignored him.
Alex gave him a flat stare. "Konta, I don't have time for this. If you're going to waste my time-"
Before she could finish, the loud crack of dry leaves and branches came from the edge of the forest, and she and Igov turned to see an armored delivery truck backing up through the woods and into the rear of the hotel.
"Ah, it's here." Yoshi pulled out a small remote, and pushed one of the buttons on it. The grinding hum of gears and motors started, and the steel roll-away door on the rear of the truck opened up.
Alex's eyes widened, and Yoshi could swear that a few sparks shot out of Igov's optical implant.
"Er, what are-"
"Miss President," Yoshi began smugly, "may I present the K-series mutants. The Kain module is completed."
Alexandra was speechless, and Igov's eye narrowed.
Yoshi grinned and took Alex's hand, wrapping it around the controller. "You're welcome. Remember, I need those budget items before Tuesday. See you tomorrow." He swiftly turned around and walked straight into the hotel before Alex could think of anything to say.

She stared after him for a moment, then looked back at the creature in the truck, staring listlessly out at her. "I hate that man."
"Then why do you humor him?" Igov asked bluntly. "This... thing... no doubt it is powerful, but it is still flesh and blood. Steel will always prevail."
Alex bit her bottom lip. "I might agree with you... but that little gnome is a genius. And I say that with as much criticism as I can." 'Besides which, I'm not sure what will happen if I don't give that twit what he wants,' she thought bitterly. "I'm sorry, but I'll have to put the facility under his control. Perhaps I can find something else for you."
He sighed. "It will have to do, then. Thank you for your efforts." Igov excused himself, and entered the hotel himself.
Alex turned toward the truck, to see Bei creeping around the rear, trying to observe the mutations as closely as possible without being within arm's reach should they spontaneously awake.
"Well, I'd better put these things to work," She muttered to herself.
__________________________________________________________________________________ Igov mumbled to himself in Russian as he stalked through the hotel, getting a number of odd looks from the various employees and customers. Of course, it was equally likely that they were staring at his mechanical optical unit, but they were all staring nonetheless.
The Russian warrior was so busy brooding over the unfortunate turn of events, that he didn't see anybody in front of him until he had nearly bowled him over.
Igov's arm lashed out to steady the man he had knocked into. "So sorry, please, excuse me."
The tall blond guy blinked, then stared. "Whoa! Hey, you guys! Check this out!"
A man with black hair tied in a ponytail rushed over, his mouth agape as he pointed to the metal apparatus attached to Igov's head. "Sweet! Is that thing real?"
Igov sweatdropped. "Yes, it is. Now, if you will excuse-"
"Ooh!" exclaimed a redhead that joined the group. "Cybernetics! Sexy!" She winked at him, and the sweatdrop grew.
The Russian General was about to ask them to move so he could leave, when the blond one started poking at the medals on his chest.
"Hey, isn't this that Soviet Union symbol thingy? That is so cool!"
The man with the ponytail leaned over to inspect the other decorations, and Igov grimaced uncomfortably.
"These are all Russian military awards!" Tycho commented, whistling.
Junko blinked. "Russian military? Boy, you've been around, haven't you?"
Igov lowered his head slightly, smirking, and Kyle and Tycho both stepped back. "Yes, I suppose I have. My name..." his head shot up, and the light in his cybernetic eye flared a bright, blood red. "Is Igov Yuchtzky. To my enemies, I am known as 'The Red Death'." His smirk grew into a grin, and he raised a fist in the air, as if to keep it ready.
Tycho smiled. "Awesome. Love the nickname, man."
Kyle nodded. "Very stylish. And the lens flare too; that was a nice effect."
Igov stared at them mutely for a moment, then shrugged and walked past them, unsure as to why he expected a stronger response.
"See ya, dude!" Kyle called back, "Stay away from electromagnets!"
Asuka chose that moment to exit the lobby, missing the tall, graying Russian completely as she entered the hallway that separated the numerous ballroom suites. "Who are you talking to?"
Junko blinked. "Ah, his name was Yut... er... Yut-something. I think."
Tycho shrugged. "Nobody important. Not in this chapter, anyway."
Asuka stared for a moment. "Riiiiiiight..." Then she turned and yelled out into the lobby. "Snake, get the others and come on!"
Snake entered the hallway, followed by Ranma, Sakura, and Tiro.
Asuka quickly took stock of everyone present, then nodded and opened the door of the ballroom right next to her. "All right, everybody, get in quickly!" She ducked into the room backward and ushered everybody else in, pulling them down into a huddle once Ranma turned to close the ballroom door.
"All right, now listen up! Our objective, above all else, is to protect the Shiromir executives that are staying here from terrorist attack!"
"Uh, Captain?" Ranma asked, being the only one out of the huddle.
"Not now, Saotome! What we need to do is assign half of us to handle any mutant or terrorist activity,"
"Captain?"
"Later!" Asuka snapped, "And then the other half will search for any kind of encampment or compound and take out the terrorists at the source!"
"This is kind of important..." Ranma tried again.
"NOT NOW, Saotome!!" She screeched, glaring at the pigtailed man before once again returning to her huddle. "Try to keep property damage to a MINIMUM, please! Protecting the potential victims has priority over blasting the bad guys!"
"Asuka!" Ranma insisted once again.
The police captain growled, then stood up fully to glare at her subordinate. "What is it?!"
Ranma sighed, then pointed behind her. "I believe we've already located the enemy."

The entire DAPC blink-blinked, then turned around to actually look at the ballroom they had ducked into.
Near the back were four large glass cylinders mounted on electronic disks that each contained a carrier, eerily floating in some sort of translucent green-blue liquid. Standing in front of the containers were three Freedom's Angels, with AK-47s drawn and pointed at the intruders. Standing off to the side was a short brown-haired woman with a handgun drawn, and a gorgeous brunette who was massaging her forehead with her hand.
"I can't believe nobody even locked the door," the taller woman muttered, sighing.
Asuka gulped as she saw the armed terrorists scowl at them. "Couldn't you have mentioned this a little earlier, Saotome?"
"Don't even start," Ranma grumbled irritably.
Alexandra smirked as she looked over the group. "Well now, if it isn't the DAPC. Is there a... problem, officers?" Then she blinked. "Tiro?"
Tiro chuckled nervously. "Hey cuz! So... consorting with terrorists... this is what you've been up to, huh?" He noticed that all of his companions were now staring at him. "Heh... boy, is this awkward..."
Tycho gaped. "That's... your cousin? But isn't she-Whoa! She's the president of Wraith Laboratories!"
Asuka gasped. "Wraith? Then that's where they've been getting the technology for all their biological experiments!"
"And if she's working for the Freedom's Angels, then they must be the ones who kept Wraith funded so that it didn't go bankrupt!" Snake added.
"And Wraith has been trying to buy out Shiromir, probably to produce their war machines! That explains the attacks!" Ranma finished.
"Congratulations, Sherlock," Bei muttered.
Junko whistled, running a hand through her hair. "Wow, this is all coming together pretty fast, huh?" Upon getting no response, she turned to see Kyle taking notes on a small notepad. She sweatdropped.
Alex's lips curled into a smile once more. "Well, good for you. Now what are you going to do about it?"
Snake's grin was unexpected. "This is what we're gonna do! You're all under arrest! Put your hands where we can see them, or-" it was about at this time that he patted his waist with his hand, and realized that there was no gun there. "Uh... oops. I forgot. Our guns are still in our suitcases."
The FAs sweatdropped.
"Well, where are our suitcases?" Junko asked.
"I think they're back at the front desk," Tycho answered.
"What are they doing back there?" Snake demanded, "They should at least have made it to the hallway!"
"Dude, I told you to tip the bell boy."
Alexandra rolled her eyes. "Incompetent. Just as I thought."
Sakura raised her hand. "Don't worry, I'll go get them!" She immediately rushed for the door.
"Hey! Stop, or I'll shoot!" Bei shouted, jabbing her 9 mm. at the blond woman.
Sakura did stop, but only after tripping over her own feet in surprise and panic. Falling to the floor, her hand lashed out to grab onto the only protrusion on the wall.
*Click* Out went the lights.
*Rattattattattattattatta!!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Crash!* *Tinkle*
"Augh! Duck and cover!"
"Help! I can't see!"
"Where is everyone?"
"Who's shooting?"
"The terrorists, you twit!"
"Cool! That green stuff glows in the dark!"
"Why's it all spilled out on the floor?"
"EEK!!! Who touched me!" *Slap!*
"Bei! Where are you?"
"Ranma! Help!"
"I'm hit! I'm hit! I'm... never mind, I just fell down."
"Where's my notepad? I dropped it!"
"Ow! My knee!"
"My notepad! If I don't get it back, I'll never figure out what's going on!"
*Click* On went the lights.
Kyle breathed a sigh of relief as he picked up the small stack of notes. "I found it!" He announced, right before he looked up.
Everyone was where they started, with the exception of the carriers, which apparently escaped from the containers after they were shattered by stray gunfire. Which was quite unusual, as they were BEHIND the only people in the room with guns.
The terrorists holding the automatic rifles had dozens of vamps attached to them, and each wore an expression of sheer surprise.
Alexandra and Bei were untouched, and looked rather surprised themselves.
Ranma frowned. "Well... that's a LITTLE better..."
Shrugging, he reached for the light switch.
*Click*
"Geez, not again!"
*Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!*
"Stop shooting before you kill someone!"
"That's the idea, fool!" *Blam!* *Blam!*
"AAAAAAH!!! Get them off me!!"
"No touching!" *Slap!*
"Oh, the humanity!!"
"Help! *Gurgle*" *Thud*
"Ow! Who stepped on my foot?!"
"Open the door nimrod!"
"Let's get out of here!"
"Move aside! Comin' through!"
"Make way! Make way!"
*Click*
Alexandra blinked as light once again flooded the room, and took her hand from the light switch.
Right behind her, Bei stood with her hands clamped firmly around her pistol and her arms locked straight as she breathed heavily from the sudden excitement.
Frowning, Alex realized that the door was closed, and the police officers were nowhere to be seen.
"Rrrrgh..."
Bei squeaked slightly and jerked her arms to the side, pointing her weapon directly at the three parasite-ridden men shambling towards them.
Alex sighed. "Well, there goes my weekend. Such a waste. Get them in the head, Bei. It'll be faster that way."
The smaller woman nodded. *Click!* *Click!* *Click!*
Then she blinked. "Oops. Out of ammo."
Alex twitched. The men lunged.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Asuka hobbled through the hallway irritably, trying to nurse her bruised foot as she walked. "Well, that went less than gracefully..."
Junko fumed. "How is it that they're stocking the party rooms with mutants now? Didn't anybody notice?"
Ranma looked about as he followed the others through the hall, and saw more than one black slug writhing in a corner. "I bet they'll notice now."
"Well, this bit didn't last too long before spiralling out of control, did it?" Snake muttered. "Let's get our guns and mop up."
Asuka nodded, and opened the door to the lobby. "You take Wattai and get our weapons. Then we'll split up. We've got to evacuate the hotel, eliminate the mutants, save the infested civilians, and track down Miss President."
"Right away!" Tycho and Snake saluted and rushed out into the lobby.
Asuka frowned at the rest of her forces. They were all dressed in casual clothes, ranging from Sakura's tank top and miniskirt to Ranma's green, oversized Chinese coat and pants. "I don't suppose anybody brought their body armor, did they?"
She got blank stares from everyone but Sakura, who blushed. "I tried, but I couldn't fit it into my shoe suitcase without leaving something behind, so..."
"Please, I don't want to know," Asuka deadpanned.

Snake burst into the lobby of the hotel, spying the DA's pile of luggage right away. He also noticed that there were a substantial number of people gathered in the lobby.
"Hey! Get out of here! The place is being overrun! Evacuate immediately!"
Everybody in the lobby turned to look at him blankly. One of the men behind the counter frowned.
"Did you have anything to do with the gunfire a moment ago? What's going on?!" He demanded. Several of the people assembled in the lobby glared at the two men, their bags at their side, waiting for a proper explanation for the disturbance.
Tycho ran for the DA's bags, while Snake stalked over to the front desk, flipping out his badge. "Yo! As a registered police officer, I demand that you evacuate this place as soon as possible!"
Some of the people in the room decided that they had heard enough and headed out. The man at the front desk stared at the police shield that had been thrusted in his face, and his expression went flat.
"Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment?"
Snake smiled slightly. "Ah, I see you havn't heard of us."
"Actually, I have."
"Drat." Snake muttered. "Look, we've got several armed men inside the hotel who will not hesitate to fire upon civilians, as well as several mutants crawling around the place!"
Some of the people gasped in shock and surprise, while others suppressed chuckles.
The manager rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, and I'll bet we have man-eating whales in our pool as well. If you gentlemen insist on causing trouble, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave." The heat in his eyes was a pretty good indication that he was planning on asking them anyway.
"Hmph!" Snake scoffed, turning away toward Tycho, "Fine, be that way."
"Raaaagh..." The manager blinked, and was about to ask what that noise was, right before a black tentacle burst through the [Employees Only] door behind him, wrapped around his leg, and dragged him screaming into the adjacent room.
Snake shook his head sadly as the various customers began screaming and rushing out of the hotel lobby. "It's always just a big joke until someone gets dragged away into the shadows..."
Tycho pulled a large suitcase out from underneath Sakura and Junko's numerous bags of clothes and accessories. "Stupid girls, never can just pack light..." he opened up the case, and was rewarded with several Barettas set into a plastic foam mold, alongside several stacks of ammo clips. "We've got handguns!"
"Gyaaaaah..." Snake smirked as the carrier entered the lobby from behind the front desk, vamps oozing about its body and black tentacles whipping through the air.
"Hand me the gym bag, would you? The one with 'fragile' on it." Snake skipped back almost casually as a black, fleshy tendril lashed out at him, and his smirk grew into a grin.
"Ergh..." Tycho gulped at the sight as the mutant creature seemed to size them up through its empty, flesh-covered sockets, and quickly yanked out the aforementioned bag. "Catch!" The bag left his hand, and he quickly loaded and aimed his Baretta.
Snake was almost knocked to the floor by the heavy bag, but managed to barely keep his balance. Unfortunately, he was unable to dodge when a hail of vamps and black goo rained over him, and was promptly knocked to the ground as the mind-altering parasites took hold.
Tycho shouted incoherently, and managed to clear his vision so that he could still aim.
*Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Thwap* A tentacle knocked him to the side, disorienting him for a moment, and knocking the weapon to the ground. He stood, stunned from the impact, and then groaned before he started peeling vamps off of himself, feeling the paralysis overcome him.
Seeing the one with the gun start to lose energy, the carrier lazily shifted its attention to the much brighter haze of body heat that represented Snake.
That is, right before an object with no body heat slammed into it, throwing it back into the wall and crushing its ribcage.
"Shoot it now!" Ranma shouted.
Snake ripped the last vamp off his shin, and quickly unzipped the bag, revealing the silvery casing of his Vindicator minigun. Attaching an ammo belt, he raised it to the carrier, which was struggling mightily with the fire extinguisher embedded in its chest.
*Vrrah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!!* Snake cut a line from above the carrier downward, making a neat line of bullet holes straight down through the mutant.
*Booom!* The extinguisher exploded violently, and Snake let the minigun's engine die, the last of the spent casings bouncing on the marble tiled floor.
Ranma coughed a bit as a wave of carbon dust washed over the front counter, masking everything in white powder. "Can you guys hurry up? We've still got three more of those things walking around!"
"Yeah, yeah! Just a sec..." Tycho wiped some black slime off his leg, then staggered to his feet as he continued to search the luggage for weapons.
Snake jogged over to the nearest fire alarm, smashed the glass cover with the handle of his minigun, and then pulled the lever. An ear-piercing shriek tore through the building, and everyone present winced at the shrill alarm.
"That should get people out of here! Tycho, give one of those Pancors to Saotome!"
Ranma snatched the automatic shotgun out of the air as it was tossed to him, and then noticed the others entering the lobby from behind.
"What's going on here?" Asuka demanded. Tycho tossed her a Pancor Jackhammer as well, and she caught it easily.
"Minor skirmish," Snake explained, wrapping an ammo belt around his chest and shoulders in a classic "Rambo-style" X. "One carrier down, three more to go." He fished a ski bag from the pile of luggage (an unusual item, as it was in the lower 90's outside), unzipped it, and slipped the rocket launcher over one shoulder via a leather strap.
Sakura whimpered a bit as her brother took the last shotgun and handed her a Baretta. "What are we going to do?"
Asuka frowned. "All right. Saotome, you take Yamazaki and Chikiko and search the rooms for that woman and the carriers. Snake, Wattai, you go secure the perimeter of the hotel and make sure that the evacuation can proceed smoothly. Kyle, you and your sister are with me. Move it!"
"Yes ma'am!! Right away ma'am!!" Two groups immediately rushed out of the building, leaving the DA captain alone with the two blondes
"Hey. Wait a minute..." Asuka started slowly.
"If the management has already left, does that mean the mini-bars in the rooms really are free now?" Kyle asked. "Or do I still have to charge it to my room?"
"So how does this thing work, anyway?" Sakura asked, poking at the handgun. "Wait, there's something jammed in the handle..." She worked the Baretta for a moment, and smiled as the ammo clip popped out. "There, that's better!"
Asuka twitched. Then she whirled around. "Saotome! Snake! Wait! Come back! Anyone!"
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Did you hear something?" Junko asked as she jogged alongside Ranma in the hallway.
"I didn't hear nothing." Ranma muttered decisively, looking back to make sure Tiro was keeping up with them.
"Thaaaaugh..." Two men with vamps visible through torn clothing lumbered through a small room with several vending machines, turning slowly as Ranma entered with Junko at his side.
*Thock!* *Whack!* Ranma didn't even give them time to fully orient themselves before he struck both of them to the ground.
"Junko, could you get the slugs off?" Ranma didn't wait for Junko's nod before he backed himself up against a soda machine, scanning the halls to his left and his right. There were quite a few vamps crawling around on the walls and floors, as well as some thick black smears on the wall. No carriers though...
Junko tossed off the last of the slimy parasites in disgust, and squished another one that was crawling for her leg with her heel.
Tiro entered the small room, and immediately began digging into his pockets, pulling out some coins. "Finally, a vending machine! I'm about ready to dry up and... uh..."
Ranma was about to ask why he stopped, when several black whips wrapped around the entire machine from the back, pinning Ranma firmly against the front of the metal box.
Ranma began to struggle against the rubbery bands, and growled when he realized that Junko and Tiro were simply staring at him wide-eyed. "What are you waiting for?! Kill it!"
This startled them out of their respective stupors, and they immediately unholstered their handguns.
Ranma blinked and then gulped as they aimed straight at him, their arms shaking slightly from panic. "No! Wait! I take it back! Stop!"
They quickly dropped their aim, realizing that they couldn't hit the carrier without getting Ranma anyway. Ranma didn't have time to be relieved though, as the tentacles slowly tightened, and the large machine was gently lifted off the floor. That is, right before it was not-so-gently thrown across the room, firmly smashing Ranma into the opposite wall.
Tiro winced as plaster fell to the floor behind him. "Now that HAD to hurt."
Junko gulped and took aim with her handgun again, now that the carrier was visible. "Less talking, more shooting!" *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!*
Junko and Tiro were hardly marksmen, and the bullets that hit the ghastly mutant were easily ignored, even as vamps wriggled out of the small holes oozing with black slime. Its arms bulged mightily, and it prepared to infect its prey.
*WHAM!!!* The vending machine it had been hiding behind zoomed straight back across the room, smashed into the carrier, and then crashed through the opposite wall, breaking through the plaster, insulation, and piping, and then falling over onto its back, crushing the already-quite-dead mutation against the floor in the adjacent room.
Ranma dusted bits of paint off his green Chinese pants. "Only one person does that to me and gets away with it creep, and she's not here!" He said, apparently to himself.
Idly crushing a vamp that was making a break for him, Ranma turned to his comrades. "That's another one down! Where to next?"
Junko shrugged, but Tiro's attention seemed riveted to one of the hallways.
"This way! A woman's being attacked over there!"
Ranma and Junko blinked. "How can you tell?"
"My girl radar can track a major babe at 300 feet!" Tiro said with absolute seriousness. "Let's move!" He rushed into the previously indicated hall, Ranma and Junko hesitantly following him.
"Everybody has their talents," Junko remarked.
"True enough," Ranma muttered.

Sure enough, within moments, Ranma could hear the sounds of a struggle in the hotel gym, and noted that there were a few knocked-out people lying on the ground, the parasitic vamps still attached to various parts of their bodies.
"Get off of me, you freak!"
Tiro burst into the room first, and saw exactly what he expected: a buxom, shapely woman struggling within the writhing tentacles of the third carrier of the day. He immediately focused on the mutant beast; it looked to be fairly wounded already, with several bullet holes in its chest, as well as other obvious inflictions that seemed to be more martial in nature. He wasn't really so concerned with what damage had been done, however, as much as how much damage he could do.
"SPOON!!!" He cried, for absolutely no reason. *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!*
The first two shots missed, and the third one grazed the carrier's shoulder. One of the tentacles that the woman was successfully fending off whipped around and smashed him against the wall hard, and he slid to the floor as plaster cracked in a person shaped indentation.
"Owie..."
The carrier returned to its previous, more capable prey. The woman ripped off yet another vamp that was attempting to take hold, and pulled hard on the heavy weight machine she had grabbed onto, trying to pull herself from the black tendrils' iron grasp.
*BLAM!!!* 12 gauge fire peppered the carrier, and a heavy, mourning moan rang out as black ooze sprayed from its back. Ranma stared hard at the creature, and lowered the Pancor Jackhammer. It stared back through empty eyes, and then suddenly its tentacles around the woman went slack, all of them lashing straight at the pigtailed officer.
Faster than the eye could see, Ranma ducked under the slimy appendages, and the next thing the mutant knew (sort of), the barrel of the automatic shotgun was jammed upward into the bottom of its ribcage.
*BLAM!!!* The entire upper half of the creature exploded in a shower of dark gore, spraying the near wall black.
The lifeless waist toppled as the bone-thin legs stopped supporting it, and Ranma slowly stood up straight, a neutral expression on his face.
"Wow. That was pretty cool!" The woman remarked, smiling slightly.
Ranma turned and was about to say something, but then his eyes widened. Long brown hair, shapely legs, a curvaceous figure, and a chest that would have made Ms. Hinako jealous all came to him at once. "Hey! You're that Tokima chick! You run Wraith!"
She blinked. "Uh..."
Ranma growled and stepped forward to stand over her, pointing the Pancor straight into her face.
He was never actually planning to pull the trigger, so his reflexive surprise at her foot lashing out at high speed and hitting him in the arm didn't end up filling her face with buckshot. The blow had hurt though, even if it didn't disarm him, as it was clearly intended to; that in itself was a surprise.
The follow-up punch was again faster than Ranma would have anticipated, and he took the hit full in the shoulder rather than jumping clear and possibly allowing her to escape. Tossing the shotgun aside, he grabbed the woman's wrist with some surprising speed of his own, and twisted her around onto her back, pinning her down with his knee.
He heard her grunt in frustration. "Ha! Serves you right!"
Junko stalked up angrily, training her Baretta on the struggling woman. "You'll pay for what you've done! You're responsible for the deaths of dozens, maybe even hundreds of people!"
Tiro groaned in pain as he got up, and sighed when he saw who Ranma had pinned. "Nope. Wrong woman."
*Thud!* *Thud!* Ranma and Junko both facefaulted.
The shapely brunette stared, confused, and then her face lit up. "Tiro? It's you!"
Tiro smiled in embarrassment. "Hi Mia. Sorry about this." He held out a hand, and helped the woman to her feet. Then he turned toward his fellow officers. "Guys, this is Mia Tokima, Alex's identical twin sister."
Junko sweatdropped. Ranma twitched. "So she's not evil?"
Mia laughed nervously and shook her head. "No, I'm not. Don't worry about it though. I get that a lot. At least from everyone who's ever met Alexandra."
Junko stared at her. Sure, the clothes were different; Alex had been wearing a professional business suit, and Mia was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, but other than that, every single feature was the same. "How can you tell one from the other?" She asked Tiro.
"It's in her eyes," Tiro explained, shrugging. "When you look Mia in the eyes, you just get this feeling like..." he fished around for the proper words, "like... like she isn't just distracting you so that someone behind you can stab you in the back. I mean, as opposed to her sister."
Junko's sweatdrop returned, but Ranma just nodded. 'Sort of like Nabiki. Or unlike Nabiki. Whatever.'
"So... Mia. What are you doing here?" Ranma asked suspiciously.
"Yeah, I thought you were working in the upper-level military or something." Tiro commented.
Mia looked around, as if someone might overhear the conversation. "I am, but I'm here on an espionage mission. We've long suspected Alexandra of taking part in terrorist activities and funding the Freedom's Angels' war efforts, but we needed evidence before we could get the drop on her. I'm here to get that evidence."
Ranma looked down at the dismembered carcass of the carrier. "Does that count?"
Mia nodded. "This whole operation has pretty much broken down though. We should get out of here."
"First, we need to waste that last carrier," Ranma muttered.
"I saw one headed toward the roof earlier, but I..." Mia trailed off as Ranma rushed to the nearest window, opened it, grabbed the top of the frame, and then swung up and out of sight. "Wow. He's good."
Junko shrugged. "We need SOMEBODY competent, or we'd all die."
Mia frowned as she began leading the two DA officers out of the gym, wiping slime out of her hair and kicking away any vamps that she saw. "Who are you guys anyway? I mean, that you're here, and armed like this?"
Tiro smiled and jabbed a thumb to his chest. "We're the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment! We're on a mission to purge the hotel of mutants and protect the Shiromir executives from certain death!"
When he finished the overdramatic story, his cousin was staring at him wide-eyed.
"YOU'RE the DAPC?! You're kidding me!" Mia stared at the two officers as if they had suddenly grown devil horns.
"Ah, our reputation precedes us," Junko muttered bitterly.
"Wow!" Mia gasped, "You're responsible for more collateral damage than the Freedom's Angels and the Yakuza combined! You're the ones who gave Remerick that ulcer last week! You destroyed the oil platform and a major ecosystem!" She stared at Tiro with a look halfway between respect and fear. "I can't decide whether I'm impressed or horrified."
Tiro sweatdropped. "Yeah, well, that last thing couldn't be helped. Really."
Mia nodded. "Well, in any case, we need to work together now! We must find and stop Alex!"
Junko glanced out the window. "Well, there she is. Now how do we stop her?"
Mia and Tiro blinked, and then joined Junko at the window. Sure enough, Alexandra and Bei were both walking away from the hotel, passing through the pool area.
"Let's go!" Mia shouted, drawing her depleted handgun and slipping in a new clip.
"Yeesh, two minutes and already she's bossing us around," Tiro muttered. Junko merely rolled her eyes and followed.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Snake rested the large chaingun against his leg as the paramedics and volunteers continued running back and forth through the grand entrance to the hotel, carrying unconscious and battered bodies out.
Those guests that hadn't encountered any carriers or vamps had all either volunteered to help those that had, or fled as quickly as they were able.
Snake was bored. "Securing the perimeter" had involved shooting up a few vamps that had leaked out of the hotel, which in itself was a pointless activity, as the parasites would die anyway in under an hour.
Snake being bored was a bad thing. Everyone who knew him knew this, and quite a few people that didn't knew it too. As it was, Tycho was just glad he had stopped reving the Vindicator engine just for fun.
"Hey Wattai, I'm gonna go plant some C-4 in the lobby. Wanna come?"
The driver jerked his head towards his superior officer. "Whoa! Wait! Why would you do that?"
Snake shrugged. "We might need to blow it up."
"Why would we need to blow it up? We're supposed to avoid causing damage!"
Snake frowned. "Don't be such a wuss. Besides, it helped in the subway, didn't it?"
"That's arguable," Tycho muttered, "and didn't you nearly kill Saotome?"
"He got better," Snake retorted, "no harm, no foul."
"E-Ex-Excuse me!" The two officers' conversation was interrupted, and they both turned to see a large man who they remembered as having evacuated already standing in front of them. He was pale and sweaty, and several of the people around him were looking at him in fear.
"Yeah?" Snake asked casually. "What's up?"
"Er, I... uh..." Suddenly, he was shoved to the side, and a smaller man with a tattoo on his right bicep holding an AK-47 stepped forward.
"Get down and-" *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!*
The terrorist hit the ground, blood leaking from the holes in his chest.
Snake handed Tycho back the Baretta. "Thanks. The chaingun takes too long to start up."
Tycho blinked and took his gun back; he hadn't even been aware that Snake had taken it until after the terrorist's corpse had hit the ground. "Um... no problem."
The man who had been acting as the gunman's human shield let out a terrified, though somewhat relieved, sigh, and then frantically rushed up to the officers.
"You've got to do something! They blockaded the road!"
Snake blinked. "A blockade? Seriously?"
He nodded. "Yes! They've captured everyone! They've got tanks blocking the road; people can't even ram their way through!"
Snake's eyes widened. "TANKS?!?!"
Tycho gulped. "Ooh. Yeah. Maybe this isn't a job for us. If I can get a phone, then I can call in the military, and-Gah!" Tycho was caught off guard as Snake shoved the Vindicator minigun into his arms, and looked up to see the gun-happy lieutenant pulling his rocket launcher down over his shoulder.
"Speak not one more word, Wattai! We're hunting armor! Move out! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" The various people gathered in the area began to slowly move away from the maniac loaded down with explosives, and Tycho sighed as he followed his superior officer into the woods lining the main road.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"So the bullets go in this way?" Sakura said, trying to jam the wrong end of the clip into the handle of the Baretta.
"No no, it's upside down. Like this." Kyle gently took the handgun and placed the ammo clip in it correctly, demonstrating that he at least understood the basics of simple ballistic weapons.
"I don't know why we even bother to give her a gun..." Asuka muttered darkly, "she couldn't hit the side of a barn at 20 feet..."
"Don't be mean!" Sakura whined, "And how do you know about that, anyway?"
*Thud!* Asuka fell down.
Kyle stared at her, amazed. "Whoa. Were you seriously just guessing? I don't think I told you about that..."
"Don't talk to me," the captain commanded, pushing herself up off the floor. "And keep your gun handy, Kyle. We don't know what we're getting into here."
The small group approached a partially darkened gaming room, full of couched and pool tables. One side of the room was composed of a huge glass window that opened up into the pool area, and spilled light into the room.
Asuka crouched low to the ground, then dashed behind a pool table, holding her shotgun straight up and at the ready. She scanned the darkened areas of the room where an enemy might hide, and then slowly gestured for her subordinates to follow.
Kyle and Sakura walked across the room after her.
Sakura sighed. "I really wish I could have a body like that. I wonder what her diet is."
Asuka nearly stumbled over herself as she began making her way to the exit. Sakura, Miss "perfectly proportioned", envied HER body?
"Aw, sis, your body's fine. Lots of guys would kill to go out with you."
Sakura flushed slightly. "Yeah, I know, but still, it'd be nice to have a perfect figure like that."
"H-Hey!" The two blondes looked down at their captain, who was flushed in embarrassment, "Could you guys not talk about me when I'm right here?!"
They blinked. "Talking about you?" Kyle asked, confused.
"We were talking about her." Sakura corrected, pointing at the large glass wall.

Alexandra passed by the pool calmly, her enticingly-cut business suit immaculate and untouched. Bei staggered behind her, looking a bit worse for wear, and nursing a bruise on her arm.
Neither of them bothered to hide their passage as they walked into the woods surrounding the hotel, nor did they give the game room next to the pool a passing glance.

Asuka glared up at her incompetent partners. "Idiots! Why didn't you tell me that you'd spotted them?!"
Sakura blinked. "We thought you knew. Why were you crawling on the ground like that, then?"
'Someday, I'm going to get a court order to keep the Tekai family from procreating and further diluting the gene pool.' That thought cheered her up substantially, and she jumped to her feet, Pancor at the ready.
"Get them!"

Bei jerked her head at the shout, and immediately reached for the handgun at her side. Alex's hand stopped hers, however, and then she remembered once again that she had forgotten a spare clip.
Alexandra stared coolly as a tall, blond man in jeans and a t-shirt crashed through the glass wall, raining crystal shards about his as he raised his automatic shotgun at the pair of women.
"Stop and I'll shoot!" He shouted.
Alex and Bei quickly shared a glance, then bolted off the patio, running for the edge of the forest.
Kyle kept his aim centered on Alexandra's back, until she was able to dodge behind a tree. "Wait... I think I got that wrong..." *Wham!* Asuka's shotgun bashed into his skull.
"Gee, you think?! Get after them, you nitwit! You too blondie!" Kyle staggered a bit, but managed to recover as his female companions rushed by him.
All three of them tore into the woods, dodging around trees and pushing away branches that were in their way. Soon, they reached an artificial pathway through a less natural-looking part of the woods, and ran down that after noticing heelprints in the soft sand that formed the path.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Hum-dee-dum-dee-dum duh-duh..."
On the main road leading up to the Yukado Resort Hotel, two tanks were parked bumper-to-bumper across the road, firmly blocking all automobile access. A third tank was parked not far from there, its engine running and its main cannon rigidly trained on a group of civilians all kneeling on the ground in a circle, hands on their heads.
Armed terrorists guarded the group lazily, leaning against the tank or nearby trees while keeping their automatic rifles aimed and at the ready.
One such guard hummed a tune to himself as he lit up a cigarette, and took a deep drag, sighing in satisfaction as he blew out a stream of wispy gas.
Most of the Freedom's Angels considered even short-term hostage guarding to be bottom-level grunt work, but this particular man didn't mind one bit. He had joined the FAs because he had no money and had nowhere else to go, not because he liked violence and killing. He appreciated the idleness and boredom of guard duty, even as it made others restless.
His introspection was cut short as someone else spoke up.
"Hey, do you hear that?"
He blinked. "Hear what?"
*Vwooooosh* *KAABOOOOM!!!* The armor-piercing light rocket whisked over the tree line and stabbed deep into the side of the IS-2, detonating violently. The other terrorists watched with wide eyes as the war machine blew up from the inside, throwing huge plates of shrapnel into the surrounding forest and leaving only a blackened chassis, along with the burnt corpses of their comrades.
Shaken, the men continued staring at the smoking wreck, until they saw a man with sandy hair step out from behind the trees, the launcher on his shoulder still smoking.
Snake looked down at the smoldering cigarette, shaking his head. Then he turned to the men staring wildly at him with AK-47s drawn. "You see? Smoking kills!" He sighed dramatically, then stamped down on the small item, crushing it into the ground.
One of the terrorists turned to his companions. "What are we waiting for? Waste him!!"
Snake grinned and ducked behind the charred turret base and treads of the IS-2, hearing the bullets deflect harmlessly off the burnt armor.
The hostages had all planted themselves flat onto the ground by this time, many of them wondering who they should be more afraid of (the DAPC had been big news recently, and Snake's picture had been particularly emphasized).
Then, one of them heard the sound of a small engine starting up. Fortunately, the terrorists were too busy shooting to notice.
*Vrrah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!!*
Tycho lowered the minigun, and breathed a heavy sigh of relief, glad that the hostages had the sense of mind to make themselves as small a target as possible. On the road, the last of the FA gunmen fell to the ground, a line of bloody holes through his chest.
Snake smiled pleasantly as he stood up and approached the bewildered civilians. "Hello there! You have just been rescued by the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment! For my boss's sake, please note that there has been no undue destruction or excessive loss of life. Just know that it is our duty and pleasure to make your battlefield experience more pleasant than it was just a minute ago! Thank you, and have a nice day!"
The former hostages smiled uneasily at the obviously insane man, and slowly crept away, eventually breaking into a run for their cars on the side of the road.
Snake gave a satisfied sigh for a job well done, then turned to the two parked tanks blocking the road. "NICE!!! IS-2s! These are classics!"
Tycho stared, dragging the Vindicator heavily behind him. "A 'classic' tank?"
"Sure! World War 2 model! Russian design! These things are museum quality! Check this out!" Snake jumped onto one of them and opened up the top hatch before sticking his head in. "Totally operational! Ammo stores and everything!"
"Great..." Tycho muttered, resting the minigun on the rear as he stared at the oversized cannon.
Snake sensed the lack of enthusiasm in his partner, and pulled himself out, smiling. "Betcha can't drive one of these."
Tycho's eyebrow shot up. "'Scuse me? I can drive ANYTHING with wheels. Treads are a joke."
Snake laughed and sat down over the edge of the turret. "How about a wager? 2000 yen to whoever makes it back to the hotel first."
"You're on!" Tycho jumped onto the turret of the second tank, unscrewing the entry hatch and sliding inside.
"Like taking candy from a baby," Snake chuckled, as he began sliding himself into the war machine.

*Screeech!* The squeal of car tires interrupted him, and Snake turned around to see a white Mitsubishi stop before the tank blockade, coming from the side of the blockade that led to town.
A diminutive little balding man with glasses stepped out of the car, dressed in a dirty lab coat, of all things. He glanced up at Snake, smiled, and then walked up to the side of the tank.
Tycho popped his head out of the turret to see what the holdup was, and blinked as he saw a nerdy-looking guy clumsily climbing onto the side of the tank.
Snake glanced at his partner in confusion; he was more used to people running away when he had access to this kind of firepower. "Can I help you?" he asked, turning back toward the man.
Yoshi stood up on the edge of the tank treads, and smiled up at the officer, his glasses gleaming in the afternoon sun. "Yes, I believe you can. Pardon me." *Jab* with surprising speed and accuracy, he stabbed Snake in the arm with a syringe, quickly filling it with blood before drawing it out.
"OW!!! Hey, what gives?!" Snake shouted angrily, rubbing his arm, but the little scientist paid him no mind, pocketing the needle before hopping off the tank and stepping back into his car.
Tycho stared at the scene in utter bafflement as the little genius drove off, whistling happily to himself. "What was all THAT about?"
Snake muttered darkly to himself as he rubbed his bicep. "Who knows. Though if he's a government guy, they're really getting a little out of hand with these surprise drug tests." He slid into his tank.
Nodding in agreement (sort of), Tycho dropped into the driver's seat himself, and prepared for the heaviest ride he'd ever had.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Ranma stood at the edge of the roof, the entrance to the stairwell behind him, the open door slapping the frame in the wind.
On the other side, a carrier stood, its body hunched over and writhing as parasitic vamps crawled and split under its pale, rubbery skin. Its tentacles waved lazily in the air as the wind blew, like eels sliding through rushing water.
Ranma's pigtail wafted in the breeze, his unkempt black hair waving gently about his face, not upsetting the stone-like expression of his features. Ever so slowly, he began to lift the Pancor Jackhammer in his right hand to point at the mutant creature.
The carrier sensed the sudden rise in tension, and its tentacles went rigid in the wind, twisting and snapping into firm, solid curved tendrils above the roof of the vacation resort.
Ranma gently moved his other arm up to hold the shotgun with both hands, the weapon still aimed firmly at the vile mutation. "Now you have to ask yourself one question..."
The carrier's hunched body slowly stood up straighter, and the long, black tentacles began to move.
"Do I feel lucky?" Ranma squeezed one eye shut, his aim centered on the mutant's head.
The carrier's head snapped up, and the tentacles shot forward, stretching and curving at impressive speed to pummel and entangle their prey.
"Well? Do you? PUNK?!" A grin flashed on Ranma's face, and suddenly, he blurred out of sight, the Pancor Jackhammer having been tossed in the air.
The black whips of slug flesh lashed about wildly, but they met nothing but each other and the grainy tile of the roof.
Ranma hit the side of the roof, and then rebounded off it, flipping over a tentacle and then sliding under another to come to a stop in sitting position right in front of his opponent. "Damn, you're UGLY!"
The mutation saw the streak of energy fade into a single mass directly below it, and raised a thin, almost skeletal hand to the attack, leaking black ichor.
Ranma caught the hand as it came down, then kicked up with one foot, catching the creature under the ribcage. Using his free hand as leverage, he flipped himself backwards, slamming the mutant onto the roof tiling and putting himself in a crouching position on top of it.
*Whp-whp-whp* The automatic shotgun twirled around in the air as it fell into Ranma's waiting arms, and within moments, the ring of the Pancor's heavy reinforced barrel was pressed into the carrier's chest.
"All too easy," Ranma breathed darkly, smirking.
*BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* A flock of birds shot out a nearby tree from the noise, scattering their feathers to the wind, which mixed with the sulfuric smell leaking from the shotgun's barrel in the early evening breeze.
Ranma sighed, standing up from the devastated mess that was once a living, albeit misshapen and unnatural being. "All this, and not a single person to see it. Damn." A video camera would have been nice, too.

Walking to the edge of the roof, he scanned the forest surrounding the hotel.
"Lessee... Smoke coming from the main road; don't know what that's about. Something... no, two somethings cutting through the forest... I think they're coming for the hotel! Doesn't matter if it's been evacuated... people in the rear gardens... I think that's Tiro!" Deciding that he had to get back into the fray, Ranma jumped down off the roof, making a perfect landing right next to the pool.
"Man, I know it's been a long time already, but it's great not being cursed!" Smiling, Ranma jogged into the woods to join his companions.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Asuka waved for Sakura and Kyle to remain quiet as she slowly crept toward the clearing, her finger on the trigger of her shotgun. She realized that there was a probability she was walking into a trap, and if she did, she wanted at least one person behind her to back her up (assuming that Kyle, at least, could be trusted that far, which she was unsure of).
*Crack* "Oops! Sorry!" Sakura shouted in surprise, having stepped on a rather obvious-looking dry twig.
"Hey, careful! We're supposed to be quiet!" Kyle shouted, annoyed. He loved his sister dearly, but sometimes the simplest tasks were simply beyond her.
Asuka whimpered, her head in her hand. She desperately hoped that if this Alexandra woman was nearby, she'd be merciful and make their deaths quick.
The clearing was a clearly artificially-made open circle, with large trees surrounding the outer edge away from the path that led to it. Connecting the trees was a crude rock wall, built loose so as not to restrict the trees' growth.
The rustle of leaves came from the right, and Asuka's eyes narrowed.
Whirling around, she switched the Pancor onto burst mode, and aimed at the shadowed figure behind the cage of wood and leaves.
"This is the police!! Come out with your hands up!!" Came from two directions at once.
Asuka blinked, and lowered her shotgun. Tiro and Junko stepped out from between the trees, followed by...
"You!" Asuka raised her gun again, and Mia back up in a panic, waving her hands in front of her.
Tiro stepped between Asuka and Mia, holding his arms out. "Don't shoot! It's not Alex! It's just her evil twin!"
Asuka blinked, and slowly lowered the gun. "Seriously?" Mia nodded gratefully, and Asuka frowned. She was wearing totally different clothes, and Asuka didn't think that she'd have time to change while being chased, so it did make sense, in a twisted, everything-around-you-is-just-part-of-a-cruel-ploy-to-mess-with-your-head sort of way. Well, almost. "Evil twin?"
Tiro scratched his head. "Er... good twin, I guess."
"Yes... I'M the evil twin, aren't I?"

Everyone turned at the sight, to see Alexandra step out from behind th cage of trees, her arms crossed enticingly under her breasts. "How nice. Even dear little sister came to see me." She smiled coldly, and those assembled in the field felt chills run down their spines.
Asuka would have none of it, and aimed her shotgun. "Reach for the sky, Tokima, or your ass is grass. These Jackhammers don't have 'stun' settings."
Alex just laughed lightly, and over a dozen Freedom's Angels stepped out from behind the trees in much the same manner that she did, AK-47s primed. Next to Alexandra, Bei stepped out of the shadows, standing firmly between the officers and Alex, her own weapon drawn (with bullets this time).
Mia scowled, her own handgun aimed at the sadistic mirror image on the other side of the clearing (Bei wasn't as tall as Alex, so she really made a poor human shield). "You don't have the advantage just yet, Alex."
Alex's smile held, as did the triggers on everyone's weapons. "Oh?" She took out a small remote control from her pocket, and pressed a slider on it.
The officers and Mia were just wondering what the heck she was doing, when several loud cracking noised emanated from behind them, of an amplitude that indicated trees being smashed apart.
Asuka refused to lower her shotgun or turn to look, and merely spied Sakura's reaction out of the corner of her eye once the noises stopped right behind them.
"Okay... judging by Tekai's pale, scared-spitless expression, I'm guessing that's not just a few more guys coming in behind us."
Kyle gulped audibly and tugged on his collar. "You could say that..."
Asuka sighed, and straight-out dropped her gun on the ground, turning around miserably.
There, just a foot from her back, stood a nine-foot tall behemoth. It was a grossly muscular humanoid, with short, powerful, legs with wide, taloned feet, and long arms that looked to be as thick as most trees that ended in unwieldy hands with four huge claws each. Its entire body was a dark brown, and looked to be covered with a rhino-like, hairless hide. Its face was blank; literally, its neck peaked into a skull, and the entire face was a shiny, beetle-like shell, with no features whatsoever. In the back of the skull, Asuka could make out some kind of metal box protruding from its neck, and a tube that arced down its back and re-entered its skin farther down along its spine.
"Damn," was all she could say.
Alex sighed appreciatively. "Ah, isn't it wonderful? Capable of tearing apart steel like styrofoam; the ultimate in genetic monstrosities. I give you: the K-series." She smiled, holding up the remote. "And totally under my control. Now be good, and drop your guns. My assistant has a weak stomach, and these things make SUCH a mess when they kill."
"Do as she says, guys." Kyle and Sakura were quick to comply. Tiro rolled his eyes as he dropped his handgun on the ground, and Mia glared fiercely at her twin as she did the same.
Alex nodded as the DAPC and Mia disarmed themselves, then gathered slightly under the eyeless watch of the Ks. "Good. Now line up. That's right." She turned toward her men. "Half of you go back to base. Bei, take Tiro, would you?" Her assistant blinked, then did as instructed, pulling the dreary-looking man from the lineup.
"What are you going to do with us?" Asuka demanded, casting the occasional wary glance at the colossal mutations behind her.
Alexandra chuckled darkly. "Why, execute you, of course. You serve your oppressive leaders blindly, taking advantage of the many to serve the few. What else do you do with traitors, but kill them?" She finished her grand speech, and then frowned. "Well, except Tiro."
The others nearly fell down, and Tiro himself sweatdropped.
"How come Tiro gets to live?" Kyle whined.
"Yeah," a terrorist agreed, "he's just as much a cop as the rest of them! Why should he get off?!"
Alexandra sighed, walking over to her cousin. "She's my mother's favorite nephew. Every Christmas he has dinner with my family, since his mother died. We can't kill him. Besides, he's too incompetent to pose any real problems anyway."
Tiro's sweatdrop grew, and he shifted uncomfortably in Bei's grasp (for once, the peril and seriousness of the situation overcoming his libido). "Uh... thanks. I guess. Any chance you could let my friends live too?" He asked hopefully, "You know, as a favor?"
Alex shook her head decisively. "I can't do that. It's my job."
Tiro sighed. "Fair enough. So, how have things been? You know, overall?"
She stopped to consider. "Actually, fairly well. You're little department screwed up that oil rig thing, but it didn't turn out nearly as bad as I'd thought. You?"
Tiro looked around for a moment, and settled on his fellow officers, who were all giving him "You traitor" looks. "Could be doing better. This whole 'being held at gunpoint' thing is kind of a drag."
Alexandra shrugged in understanding, then tapped her lip. "Are you still single?"
He chuckled. "Yeah, pretty much. Looking, though."
Alex smiled. "I know how it is. Oh! Bei! You're not seeing anyone, are you?"
Asuka watched the smaller woman start in surprise, and then start to panic and stutter. Deciding to at least save the assistant from a terrible fate (and inadvertently spite Tiro), she interrupted. "It would figure that your entire family is as dysfunctional as you, Yamazaki." Though the insult encompassed Mia as well, the government agent understandably shrugged off the comment.
Alex glared at her, and slowly walked down the line away from Tiro. "I think I'll take care of you first, Miss Takami. And slowly too. Where will the first bullet go, hmmmm? In the leg? The arm? The shoulder?" She smirked sadistically, "Or perhaps somewhere more... sensitive?" Asuka didn't even flinch, meeting Alexandra's cold stare with stony heat.
Mia growled. "I swear Alex, if I survive this, I am SO not sending you a card for our birthday."
Alexandra gave her twin a bland stare as she walked over to her. "Hmph. Well, it's a moot point, since you won't survive. While mother will also be disappointed in your absence this year, in your case it's worth it. You've meddled in my plans for the last time."
"You're such a bitch," Mia muttered.
Alex twitched. "Whore."
"Drug-ridden scumbag."
"Prissy goody-two-shoes."
Everyone in the clearing (including the awaiting mutants) sweatdropped as the name-calling quickly escalated into shouting.
"Slimy, diseased slut!"
"Two-bit, empty-headed sell-out!"
"Blockheaded, psychotic tramp!"
"Arrogant, traitorous witch!"
"Mouko takabisha!" "Idiotic, trea-huh?"
The fight screeched to a halt, and a large ball of blue cascaded over the trees, arcing overhead and slamming firmly into the group of wide-eyed terrorists at the edge of the clearing, blasting them all into unconsciousness.
The Tokima twins stared in amazement. "What the HELL was that?!"
"Yo!" Everyone turned at the voice, and saw Ranma, leaning casually against the trunk of a tree as he balanced on the branches, his Pancor aimed at Alex's face.
"Ranma!" Sakura cried happily.
"About time..." muttered Asuka.
"Saotome," Alexandra said coolly. "Just like in your file. Well, not JUST like your file, but still, I'm impressed."
"Glad to hear it," Ranma said, cocky smile shining. "Now why don't you tell the freaks to back off before I find out if these things are really as good as Snake says they are." He nudged his head toward the K-series mutants, leaving no doubt as to what "freaks" he was referring to.
Alex stared coolly at him for a moment, then smirked, backing away from the DA officers and her sister.
Ranma twitched, and grabbed the shotgun with his other hand as he stood straight up. "Hey! Don't move or I'll fire! I'm serious!" A drop of sweat trailed down his brow, betraying how serious he really was.
"What are you doing, you idiot?! Shoot her!" Asuka yelled. Her own shotgun was still in the middle of the clearing, and she didn't want to make a grab for it while Bei had her pistol handy.
Ranma gulped as Alexandra chuckled.
"I think I'll call your bluff..." she started, then raised the remote that controlled the mutants, "and raise you." *Beep*
"Crud," Ranma mumbled as the Ks suddenly seemed to go crazy, raising their arms in the air in a frenzy and eliciting freakish, echoing growls through the armored face plates.
"Come on Bei!" Alex yelled, rushing into the forest, and to the helicopter she had kept prepared for just such an emergency.
Bei did as instructed, making sure to toss Tiro into one of the mutants for feeling her up as she'd held him captive.

Tiro grunted as he fell against the mutant's rock-hard skin, and then looked up as a massive claw prepared to pulverize him.
"I think I was better off before," he mumbled, then dove to the side as the claw stabbed deeply into the ground, peppering him with rock and gravel.
Ranma growled at the unfortunate turn of events, and propelled off the tree he was on, kicking one of the mutants in the back and smashing it into the ground. "Take that, freak!" Then he turned to the third mutant that had begun chasing Kyle and Sakura.
*BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* The mutation jerked slightly with each blow, and tiny holes sprouted red blood over its body. The shotgun had little effect other than that, though, and Ranma jumped back to avoid a sweeping claw.
"Ha!! Suck it, freak!!" *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *Thwack!* The downed mutant shot its hand up, swatting Ranma away, and knocking the automatic shotgun off into the woods.
Asuka and Kyle retrieved their weapons, and quickly brought them to bear.
"The ONE time I wish Snake was here..." Asuka began bitterly.
*BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* The creatures growled angrily as they were peppered with heavy shotgun fire, and the three began stalking toward the two armed officers.
Mia and Sakura headed straight for Ranma, who was rubbing his head from where it impacted a tree.
"Ranma! Are you okay? Here, let me see!" Despite his few stuttered protests, Sakura began inspecting his head.
Mia just whistled. "That must've hurt. I'd get my gun, but I really don't think it'd help. Where'd your piece go?"
"Damned if I know," Ranma muttered, gently pushing Sakura off of him.
"Ranma, you can't go back in there! You're unarmed, and hurt!" Sakura insisted, pulling on his arm.
Ranma watched as the three mutants shambled directly into the shotgun fire, their claws bared. One reached out to the side, and wrenched a tree straight out of the ground.
"There's no time for this!" Ranma snatched his arm away from Sakura, and took off like a bullet.
*BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *Click* Asuka paled as her shotgun emptied its last cartridge into the approaching monstrosity, and it raised its claw to the attack. A quick glance revealed that Kyle was doing about just as well, about to be pulverized with a tree. She jumped back frantically, feeling over her body for her spare cartridges, even as she knew she hadn't leapt quite outside of the creature's reach...
*Thwack!* *Wham!* *Pow!* The mutant immediately in front of her was suddenly knocked onto its side from Ranma's flying kick, right before its two companions were each stunned by a sucker punch and an uppercut, respectively. The last mutant lost its balance from the force of the blow, and the tree it was carrying fell down, crashing onto its head before it fell to the ground.
The second mutant thrust a claw at Ranma, who moved to the side and planted two good kicks into the behemoth's bleeding stomach, knocking it back. It countered with another sweeping claw, which Ranma jumped over before spin-kicking the creature in its face, cracking the armor mask. The first mutant tried to stab him in the back when he landed, but he twisted around at the last second and kicked the attacker in the side, causing it to stumble slightly.
'Damn it, I'm just not doing enough damage!' he thought, though to his credit, the mutations weren't doing any (with the exception of that earlier 'fluke').
He jumped straight up, and witnessed a tree trunk sweep below him.
"Um, guys? If any of you would like to pull through and help me out here, that would be great!" The three mutants closed in on their prey, claws and club at the ready.
*BLAM!!!* One of the creatures' head exploded into a mess of blood and sharp, bony fragments, and it slowly fell to the ground, the small box in the back of its head shooting sparks.
Ranma blinked, then looked past the distracted mutants to see Asuka's shotgun barrel leaking smoke.
"Armor-piercing slug shells," she explained, holding up a red shotgun cartridge, "I'll never call Snake a psycho again."
"Promises, promises..." Kyle muttered, slightly annoyed that he had forgotten to pack any extra ammo, much less armor-piercing munitions.
Apparently the mutants fully comprehended the danger they were in, as the remaining K-series that wasn't carrying a tree dug its claws into the ground, then shoveled a massive wave of dirt and gravel at the DA captain.
"Gyah!" *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* The shots went wide, clipping the mutant's body and doing more damage than before, but without any crippling results. It stepped forward into the cloud, and then swiftly backhanded the blue-haired woman, knocking her into the air and tossing the shotgun away.
"Asuka!!" Ranma yelled, only to calm slightly as he saw Mia tackle his commanding officer out of the air, and take the brunt of the impact on the ground. 'She must be a fair martial artist to-' *Wham!!* The tree trunk slammed him in the side with far more force than the mutant's hand, and Ranma found himself flying into the wall of trees, without the benefit of a save.
Kyle backed away as the remaining mutants growled fiercely in victory, and headed toward the nearest victim: him. "This isn't good..." Kyle Tekai, master of the obvious.
Ranma groaned and yanked a rather large splinter out of his leg, mentally promising to impale the freak of nature with his own tree club once he got back into the fray.
Then he looked back at the battle, and his eyes widened. "Kyle! Look out!"
Kyle sweatdropped. "I can see them just fine! They're right in front of me!" He dodged backwards behind a tree to avoid a claw, then dodged the tree as it toppled over.
"Not that!" Ranma yelled. "Just duck!"
Kyle, quite used to not understanding what was going on, ducked to the ground, and finally was able to hear the sounds of a heavy motor over the growls and wonton destruction of the mutant.
*BOOOM!!!* The K-series holding the tree exploded into a maelstrom of flesh, blood, and fire as the shell stabbed into it, and Kyle stared wide-eyed as a few small trees fell over and were crushed beneath the weight of heavy tank treads.
The other mutant started forward, perhaps intent on tearing apart the machine before it could fire again.
It didn't have to.
*BOOOM!!!* The monster detonated violently, once again splattering Kyle with genetically twisted gore.
"Yuck."
The second tank moved into the clearing, its main gun still smoking.
Sakura and Asuka stared in wonder at the sight, but Mia gulped. "Those are Russian make..." she said nervously.
Ranma stepped up from where he had landed, and began walking toward the tanks, until a scraping noise indicated that a main hatch was opening.
Tycho poked his head out of the first tank to arrive. "Ha ha ha! Check that out! I'm not only the first to get here, but I do a rescue too!"
Everyone in the clearing sweatdropped. The second hatch opened up, and Snake slid out and sat on the edge of the turret. "Don't think so man. The bet was for the hotel. You stopped here."
"Of course I stopped!" Tycho said, agitated, "I wasn't just going to race to the hotel when my comrades were in danger!"
Ranma crossed his arms over his chest. "You don't know the way to the hotel, do you?"
Tycho blushed slightly, and nervously scratched the back of his head. "Well, okay, but I still helped! I deserve that money!"
Snake shook his head. "What do you think, Captain?"
"I think you're both idiots," Asuka said, clutching her side as Sakura tended to it. "Besides, we can't stop now! We've still got to find and destroy that facility they're supposed to have near here!"
As the others were about to get geared up, Snake smiled and raised a small detonator in his hand. "Already done."
The other's blinked.
"You can't be serious!" Tycho yelled.
*Beep* *BOOOOOM!!!* A distant explosion rained debris into the air, and a huge gout of fire could be seen in the distance.
Tycho gaped. "But... but... when did that happen? I was with you the whole time! There's no way you could have had time to-" *Thud*
Ranma closed the tank hatch over Tycho's head. "No pointing out plot holes!"

Asuka winced as Sakura finished tying off the bandages, then smiled. "I... I can't believe it! It's a job well done!" She shot a dark glare at Tiro as he stepped up from his hiding place, but it softened a moment later. "I'm honestly proud of you guys. This was a success. Of course, I'd be happier if Ranma had just shot Tokima when he got the chance..." she narrowed her eyes at him, then noticed Mia blinking in surprise, "the bad Tokima," she clarified, "but still, this worked out excellently. Thank you all."
__________________________________________________________________________________

Seras chugged down yet another bottle of tequila as he channel-surfed, glad that he had invested some of the budget for new lab equipment on less-than-state-of-the-art satellite TV (and a mini-fridge).
Behind him, Yamma rested a dead body on the operating table, and began to cut it open with a scalpel.
*Click* *And in the national news today, the Yukado Resort Hotel in Okinawa was the center of a small-scale firefight today, as terrorists attempted a hostile takeover of the area.*
"Hmmm... this sounds interesting," Seras muttered, dropping the empty bottle on the ground and popping a beer.
Yamma put the scalpel down, and then noticed that the stomach of the corpse was bulging.
*The Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment, thought to be suspended from duty, deployed itself on the scene immediately. In fact, eyewitness reports place them as having arrived before any terrorist activity was reported.*
Suddenly, the corpse's stomach burst open, and long thick worm with a large, toothy mouth snaked up and hissed at Yamma, baring its jagged fangs. Then it choked on the alcohol fumes and fell onto the table, dead as the body it sprouted from. Yamma stared, then shrugged and continued with the autopsy.
*The conflict escalated until a nearby structure was destroyed with several well-placed, high-yield explosives. It is not yet known what the structure was or why exactly it was destroyed, but authorities are positive that it was the explosion that burnt down 60 acres of surrounding forest, and then continued on to burn the Yukado hotel itself down to its foundation. Fortunately, no civilians were killed, though there were several minor injuries reported.*
"Lucky," Seras muttered before chugging down the rest of his beer.
*And in financial news, yesterday the CEO of Shiromir Incorporated announced that they will be postponing their executive retreat for another week, as recent economic matters demand that-* *Click*
"Boring..."

**********************************************************************************

Terrorists iced: 32 (21 in testing facility explosion; + 6 KO'd)
E-series mutants crushed: 4
K-series mutants blasted: 3
Tanks wasted: 1 (+ 2 captured)
Complexes totalled: 2

End Chapter 9