Standard disclaimer does not apply! Look at me! I'm using these characters without permission! And there's not a thing you or your sissy lawyers can do about it!! MWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Guardian
Chapter 3
The Slimy Menace

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Ranma was quite surprised to find that Kyle's place was much more than a simple apartment.
It was a large two-story house, with a fairly large rock garden in the front and a carved oak porch surrounded by lush, healthy plants.

"You live here?!" Ranma had thought that someone like Kyle would be doing just barely better than he was, not rolling around in luxury.
Sakura blushed. "Yeah. Kyle does pretty well for himself, and our family's pretty big, so he bought a roomy place. We usually hold reuinions and stuff at his house." Shyly taking Ranma's arm again, Sakura led him into the .
The inside was less impressive than the inside, having some plain furniture and a more homely feel to it. Ranma noted several trophies and certificates set up on a shelf against the far wall. In the same room was a fancy-looking parlor, with a large ring of bean bag chairs set up in a circle and an oak liquor cabinet and bar set up opposite a big-screen TV.
'Hmph. And there I was living in a cockroach nest.'

"Saotome?"
Ranma and Sakura turned around to see Kyle standing there in a terry-cloth bath robe, looking rather surprised.
Sakura flushed red again and pointed to Ranma. "Uh, hey, is it... okay if Ranma stays here for a while? Maybe just a week?" She immediately lowered her head and mentally prayed he wouldn't say no.
Kyle stared at Sakura, then at Ranma, who scratched his head in embarrasment.
"Heh, sorry about this. But my apartment was falling apart, and she insisted......"
Kyle looked back at Sakura, then started speaking slowly. "Now... Sakura, you know that you're my sister, and I love you right? And that I'll support you no matter what, right? But I really think you should get to know Ranma a little better before you two start living together."
Sakura frowned, then the implications of that statement hit. "NONONONONONONO!!!! It's not like that!!" Kyle blinked at the powerful denial. Ranma sweatdropped.
"Oh. Then you're not... you know?"
Ranma, for one, didn't know. "Huh? What are you talking about?"
Sakura rushed in front of him and spread her arms out, as if protecting him from something. "No we're not! I'm just doing him a favor!"
Kyle broke out into a smile and nodded. "All right then. Welcome aboard Saotome!"
Ranma grinned and dropped his bag. "Thanks. I'll try not to be too much of a pain."
Ranma headed upstairs with his bag, and Sakura sighed and flopped down on the couch.

"So, are you two dating?" Kyle said cheerfully.
"I said no!" Sakura replied in a nervous panic.
Kyle blinked. "Well why not? I thought you had a thing for him."
Sakura blushed and seemed to sink into the couch. "Who told you?"
Kyle sweatdropped "It's kinda obvious."
He stretched, then walked over to the bar and poured himself a cup of sake. "We had a helluva time at the bar. You shoulda been there." Kyle took a sip from the cup and then thought about his last statement. "Actually, it's probably better that you weren't. Tiro was hitting on everything female after just two drinks. Well, most of them were female. The odd thing is that he really didn't seem drunk..."
Sakura sighed and mostly tuned out her brother, walking over and collapsing on one of the bean bag chairs in the parlor. Grabbing a remote control from under the couch, she turned on the TV.
"Actually, we ran into Tycho while we were there. He seemed pretty bitter about the suspension, but he drank it off. Junko even volunteered to take him home to cheer him up."
"That was nice of her," Sakura answered lazily, flipping through the channels.
*That's right! I said you can't have her!* *Click* *Kusanagi! NOOOOOOOOO!!!* *Click* *So you say you're a crazed, pedophilic, half demon?* *That's right Jerry, I-* *Click* *In the name of the moon, I will punish you!* *Click*
Settling on a news channel, Sakura squirmed deeper into the bean bag chair. "Kyle, could you hand me a soda please?"
Kyle tossed her one, then poured himself some wine.
*We're here with vice president of Wraith Labs Inc., Mrs. Alex Tokima. Mrs. Tokima, despite your company's plunging profits and recent problems concerning product development, management, and the fines due to your previously unrecorded pollution control discrepencies, Wraith Labs has managed to not only avoid bankruptcy and the predicted takeover by Shiromir Industries, but also to hold a steady stock price. How is this possible?*
Mrs. Tokima, a fabulously stunning woman by any standards, turned toward the camera, her shiny brown hair flowing behind her and cascading down over one emerald eye. *Wraith Labs attributes its success to excellent executive management and resource distribution. Beyond that, I suppose you could call it luck.* Her voice was like velvet, and several of the men in the background were visibly trembling as she spoke.
"*Sigh* I wish I had a body like that." Sakura was hardly listening to what they were talking about.
"But you do! Except her chest is bigger. And her thighs aren't quite as big. And also her hair is-*bang*." Kyle rubbed the spot on his forehead where the empty soda can hit. "What'd I say?"
Sakura just sighed as the woman walked off camera, leaving a trail of highly aroused men in her wake. 'Cripes, half those guys look like they're having seizures! How does she walk like that and keep her balance?'
*We wished we could have gotten further commentary on the subject, but Wraith's top managers seem to be in the dark about how they're still making money, and we couldn't contact anyone above the vice president. However they're still afloat, Wraith Labs is certainly making the most out of its current and temporary state of financial health.*
Kyle sipped some wine and fell back into a bean chair. "Probably something illegal."
Sakura nodded. "That's what they seem to be hinting at. Didn't they dump chemicals into the lake a few months ago?"
Kyle shrugged. "I think Wraith was the one. They paid for it big time though. A quarter of their staff was either arrested or laid off in the aftermath."
*Many protesters can even now be found outside WLI headquarters, protesting the company's continued use of older, polluting production methods, use of test animals, and DNA manipulation experiments. But despite the questionable ethics of their company, Wraith Labs Incorporated has always served Japan to a great extent since its founding in 1987, providing us with many of the vital chemical products that we use each day. Despite this, people continue to fight against this industrial juggernaut, and it appears that it may be ripe for a fall. Ma'am, what brings you to the battle against WLI?*
*These bastards dumped toxic chemicals in a public lake! My son was sick for nearly a month! I won't stop until I see this place burned to the ground!*
Sakura sniffed. "That's horrible! How could they do that?"
Kyle sighed. "Some of these people will do anything for money. Dumping stuff safely is expensive."
*Ma'am, what about you?*
*These people use rabbits and monkeys for their hideous tests! Do you know how many dead animals come out of these laboratories each year? Over 2000!! How many more creatures have to die before they come up with safer testing methods?! It's inhuman!!*
Sakura looked like she was ready to start crying. "That's so cruel......"
Kyle quickly handed her a tissue, which she quickly put to good use.
*What about you sir? Why have you joined the protest?*
*I'm protesting these guys' abuse of animals! Fur is murder!*
The reporter sweatdropped. *Sir, Wraith Labs doesn't make furs. The animals are killed through chemical experimentation.*
*What? Oh! I don't have anything against that...*
Dropping his sign, the man rushed to his car and sped away. The reporter's sweatdrop grew.
*Well, despite the company's recovery, the war against it rages , and not just on this level. Many rival companies have sought to take over WLI's considerable assets ever since the company has began its slow but sure collapse into debt. Shiromir Industries was the first to take agressive action against WLI in an attempt to leverage their technologies and broaden their industry. And for a long time, it appeared that Shiromir would succeed. In the end, however Wraith Labs had an unexpected stock-price jump, and managed to stave off its prospective buyers. In other news-* *Click*
Sakura finished blowing her nose, then tossed the remote onto one of the nearby chairs.
"Well, that was depressing. I'm going to bed now, okay? We have to get to work tommorrow." Sakura yawned and stood up.
As she walked to the stairs, Kyle suddenly grinned and called out to her. "And don't go sneaking into Saotome's room and seducing him or nothing, got it?"
"ACK!!" Sakura tripped over her own feet in shock, banging her head on one of the steps. Flushing red from anger and embarrassment, she stood up, stalked back to her room and slammed the door.
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'Well, all things considered, it's nice to finally take a hot bath again.'
Ranma gave a contented sigh as he sank slightly deeper into the hot water. He hadn't been able to take a bath in a nice, big furo like this since...
'Since I left the dojo. Geez, has it been that long? I guess so.' They had only had small showers at the academies, and the public baths didn't count, since they were never so relaxing.
'But everything's changed now. It's not about martial arts or honor, or fiancees, or dojos.'
Sighing to himself, and running a million questions without answers in his brain, Ranma stepped out of the furo to retrieve his towel hanging on the hook on the door.
Call it fate, call it luck (whether bad or good is up to you), call it a conspiracy of the Gods if you want, but it was at that very moment when Sakura opened the door and walked in, naked as the day she was born with her towel hanging over her arm.
Eye contact was made. Both of them froze like deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.
Sakura's towel slowly slipped off her arm, and a deep blush creeped over her face. At the moment a million things were racing through her mind, all of them embarrassing and many of them none too clean.
Ranma didn't share her look of panic and surprise, but did share her mental state somewhat. The difference was that his mental functions were mostly geared towards self-preservation. The part of his mind accustomed to Akane's frequent temper tantrums strongly suggested running for his life. Another part that saw Sakura as more rational than that said that apologizing might help. Another was trying to at least get him to turn around instead of just staring at her.
Eventually, Ranma just did what he always did. Pushing rational thought aside, he said the first thing that came to mind.
"Whoa. De`ja vu." It wasn't the most tactful of the options available, but it worked.
Sakura snapped out her frozen state, "eeped", then beat a hasty retreat into the changing room.
Ranma blinked, gave a heavy sigh, then took his towel and started to dry off.
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Kyle was heading up the stairs, ready to take his own shower, when the changing room door opened and Ranma and Sakura stepped out. Though fully clothed, both were blushing heavily and seemed extremely nervous.
"I mean, as long as you're not mad or anything..." Ranma trailed off, unsure of what to say. He may have been spared the pain of a good malleting, but at least then he usually didn't have to deal with it later.
Sakura shook her head quickly. "No, it's all right. What happened happened, and it really was my fault anyway."
Ranma gave her a slight smile and she shied away from him. 'Man, if only Akane was ever that reasonable...' feeling himself going into depression again, Ranma looked up to see Kyle standing in front of them, looking back and forth between them both.
Kyle eventually focused on Sakura and frowned. "I thought we agreed that you wouldn't seduce him."
Ranma blinked. "Huh?"
Sakura panicked again. "BROTHER!!! Nothing happened!! I-I just w-walked in on him when he was in the furo, and-"
Kyle crossed his arms over his chest. "So now do we have to make rules about peeping too?"
Sakura slapped her forehead and whimpered.
Ranma sweatdropped. "Hey, Kyle, it was an accident, all right? It's fine." casting a quick glance around, Ranma walked back to his temporary room and shut the door.

"Well, that could've gone worse." Ranma sighed to himself. The first day he had stayed here, and already he was causing trouble.
Ranma changed his shirt and then slipped on his black boots. 'Well, at least things can't get much worse.'
*Rumble* *Boom!*
Ranma flinched from the sudden sense of dread that filled him.
__________________________________________________________________________________

*Rumble* *Boom!*
"That's funny. There isn't a cloud in the sky. Hmm." Shrugging to herself, Sakura continued chopping up the fish for her special omellette.
Cooking had always been sort of a sore spot for the entire Tekai family. Utter clumsiness seemed to run in the family, or at least the female half, and up until she was 16 she had nearly butchered her hands whenever she picked up a kitchen knife. Accidents still happened, of course, but at least she no longer spent a fortune on band-aids.
*Sizzle*
"Huh? Oh no! I set the stove temperature too high!" Rushing over to the stove and dropping the knife, she just barely managed to flip the eggs before one side burnt. While she had eventually become a half-way competent cook through lessons and lots of practice, she could only make a few specialty dishes really well.
Hearing footsteps behind her as she panicked over the stove, Sakura decided to recruit some help to save her breakfast. "Kyle? Could you please chop the fish while I take care of these eggs?"
Ranma looked at the cutting board and the knife that lay haphazardly next to it. He wasn't Kyle, but he figured he should still help out.
Sighing in relief, Sakura set the eggs back on the stove, then turned around to see Ranma quickly dicing the fish filet into perfect little squares. She would have stopped him and done it herself, since he was a guest, but found herself in awe of his mastery with the knife. In no time the fish was reduced to small cubes, and Ranma had started on the vegetables.
"Hey, wanna see something cool?" Ranma grinned slightly, and Sakura nodded.
Then her eyes widened as Ranma tossed the entire plate of chives and onions upwards, making quick cuts through the air. Grabbing a nearby plate, Ranma turned around with a flourish and let the perfectly chopped vegetables fall into neat piles onto the plate.
"Wow... I wish I could do that!" Sakura was almost swooning 'He can even cook!'
Ranma set down the plate and then smiled. "Well, I could teach ya if you want."
She immediately went starry eyed. "Oh, would you?"
Ranma's mouth quickly ran ahead of him. "Well, we'll have to do some hard training to get your coordination right, since you're pretty clumsy......"
Sakura flinched at his words, then sighed as she realized he was absolutely right. "What kind of training?"
Ranma's mind was slightly disoriented from lack of a punch or mallet strike to terminate the need for further conversation, but it managed to compensate. "Martial arts training, I think. I was gonna drag Tiro over to the training room at headquarters and teach him a few moves. You can come if you want. I'm sure he won't mind." Ranma didn't add that it would probably be Tiro's only incentive to go.
Sakura nodded happily, then sniffed the air. "Hm? Something's burning...... AH!! My eggs!"
__________________________________________________________________________________

Breakfast had been mostly a chain of disasters, but the omellettes had survived, and were even edible.
At Kyle's insistence they had left for the DAPC compound early, so that the Luietenant could check on Ranma and Sakura's accuracy.

*Blam!* *Blam!* "Hey, these things aren't half bad." Ranma found that Snake's guns had less recoil and a higher rate of fire than most of the guns he had used during training. While he typically didn't use weapons, especially not guns, it was nice to know that they were at least of a high quality.
Kyle was impressed. "Two bullseyes. Man, is there anything you can't do?"
Ranma just smiled and shrugged, placing the modified pistol back on the weapons shelf.
Kyle gestured over to Sakura, who looked nowhere near as confident as Ranma was. "Alright sis, two shots, take your time."
Sakura gulped, then raised the pistol to shoulder level. *Blam!* *Blam!*
Kyle sweatdropped. "Um, it might help if you didn't close your eyes right before you fire."
Sakura opened her eyes to see two blackened streaks on the left wall that seperated the different shooting alleys, with two bullets lying on the ground 10 feet in front of the target.
"Awwww, I didn't even come close......" she sniffed and slowly fell into a nearby chair.
Ranma and Kyle tried to think of something comforting to say, but each had other thoughts on their mind.
'Wow. That's the first time the bullet hasn't even made it to the end of the range!'
'If her grip on that gun had been any worse, she would've shot herself!'
"Uh, that's okay sis. You have, you know, other skills to fall back on."
"Er, yeah. You're a healer, not a fighter. And that's all right, you know?"
Sakura sniffed again, happily this time, and embraced both of the men in a big hug. "Thanks you guys."

Ranma disengaged himself and was leaving the range, when a hand snaked out to grab him.
Instead, Ranma grabbed the hand, then slammed its owner into the opposite wall.
"Owwwwwww......" Tiro groaned.
Ranma blinked, then peeled him out of the Tiro-shaped indentation in the hardened steel wall. "Hey Yamazaki, what's up?"
Almost instantly he recovered, and gave Ranma a playful punch in the shoulder (making it very light, so as not to prompt a counter-attack). "You dog! I heard all about it! So, you stayin' with Sakura? Huh? Huh?"
Ranma rolled his eyes, then sighed. "Yes, I'm staying with Sakura and her brother. If you mention it again, I'll break you in two."
Tiro opened his mouth to say something, but then what Ranma said registered and it clamped shut.
Ranma led Tiro into the cafeteria room and pured himself a soda. "So, I hear you ran into Tycho last night."
Tiro laughed, and grabbed a beer. "Yeah, he was drinking like there was no tommorrow. Then Junko saw him and decided to 'cheer him up', if you catch my drift. Heh, the lucky jerk."
Ranma grinned. "That's nice. What'd she do?"
Tiro blinked. "Huh?"
Ranma gestured for him to finish. "You know, to cheer him up?"
Tiro stared at him for a long moment before speaking. "How can somebody that's seems so smart sometimes be so thick?" Shaking his head sadly, Tiro walked over to the cafeteria door, leaving a baffled Ranma behind.
The second he reached for the knob the door opened, smashing him in the face and tossing him across the room in considerable pain.
Asuka burst into the break room, took one look at Tiro, then spoke. "This is no time for naps! We're on call! Yamazaki, get off your ass and suit up! Saotome, you'll head out with me, Sakura, and Kyle! Come on! Move it!!"
Ranma and Tiro merely stood there, and Asuka started to turn red from frustration.
"Uh, what's going on? Is Godzilla attacking or something?"
"I think you should calm down a little, Captain. All that stress isn't good for you."
Asuka glared at the two men, then took a deep breath.
"SHUT THE HELL UP AND MOVE IT!!!!"
"Ma'am! Yes ma'am!!" Tiro made a beeline for the locker rooms while Ranma ducked through the doorway and sprinted to the garage.

"Kami, she's scarier than Akane ever was! I think my ears are shot......" spotting Kyle leaning on one of the police cars, Ranma hurried over and ducked into one of the back seats.
Seating himself next to Sakura, Ranma glanced back out of the doorway to see Asuka rushing to the car through the hallway.
"So, anyone mind telling me what this is all about?"
Asuka shoved Kyle into the passenger side and then took the wheel, speeding the car out of the garage. "It's Shiromir Industries' newest office building downtown. Sixteen minutes ago a pedestrian reported a disturbance at the building. Seven minutes later a police unit reported the disturbance to be several Shiromir employees acting abnormally in a strange, zombie-like state. SWAT teams have been dispatched and have managed to quarantine the building, but several employees were shot to death before the order to knock them out instead was released. We've been asked to clear the building."
Kyle nodded solemnly. "Right. So what's wrong with all the employees?"
Ranma and Sakura sweatdropped. A vein popped out on the side of Asuka's head. "Have you forgotten about those slugs already? What's wrong with you?!"
Kyle blinked, then snapped his fingers. "Oh yeah! So you think they're responsible?"
Asuka growled, but said nothing.
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Ranma stepped out of the car and onto the hot, hard pavement of the sidewalk.
'This place looks like the day after a war.' And it was true. The office building, once a proud, towering monument to the might of one of Japan's biggest companies had been reduced to little more than a towering wreck, with bullet holes and blood decorating the lower walls, and nearly every window shattered. Near the base of the skyscraper lay 6 dead bodies, with several medics packing them into body bags.
"Geez..." Ranma focused on something else to rid himself of his sudden depression. This was no time to start acting like P-chan. Glancing at one of the windows, he blinked as he saw a figure stumble inside the room, then walk out of view.

Asuka walked up to the man directing the SWAT team and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned towards her, and she quickly saluted. "Ms. Takami of the DAPC sir. May I ask what the current situation is?"
The man stared at her and then rolled his eyes. "Great. Just great. We've got a 'Night of the Living Dead' crisis over here and they respond by sending in bulk rate rookies."
Asuka's left eye started to twitch, and she forcibly restrained herself from doing anything she might regret later. "The situation, SIR?"
The commander sighed and responded in a tone usually reserved for speaking to little kids and the mentally challenged. "We've managed to lock down the building, but we've already had to take down a few of the employees that made it out. You were right about those slugs though. We've managed to save a few by subduing them and removing the little bastards, but I nearly lost a guy already and I'm not about to sacrifice my men for a bunch of freakin' zombies. Right now we're waiting for the order to move in."
Asuka nodded. "You won't be. The DAPC will handle whatever's inside. If any more of these guys come through, try and knock them out with whatever means available."
The commander grunted. "Easier said than done. Tear gas doesn't even bother these creeps." He looked down at her and grinned. "So, I suppose you'll want a few of my guys to baby-sit, huh?"
Asuka let out a low growl. 'Must... control... fist... of... death...'
"Nah, we won't be needing any help." Both the commander and Asuka turned around to see Ranma walking towards them. Kyle and Sakura were further behind, observing a plastic bucket full of the strange black creatures.
"Excuse me?" The commander raised an eyebrow. "You're going to take out all those weirdos with four men?" His voice held just a slight note of skepticism. Then he burst out laughing.

Ranma ignored him and gestured Asuka over to where Kyle was holding one of the slugs, much to Sakura's distress.
"Alright, I figure we can pull this off right now. Me and Asuka will go through the third-story window and work our way down, while you guys enter here and work your way up. I talked to one of the guys on the stretcher and he said that most of the employees had collected on the first three floors. If we can kill all the slugs on those levels, these guys should be able to handle the rest without our help."
"We never needed your help in the first place, losers!" There was a round of laughter amongst the SWAT units.
Ignoring them, Asuka glared at Ranma. "So, what? We're exterminaters now? How are we even supposed to take out that many people without killing them anyway?"
Ranma sighed. "I can take care of it. Kyle can use that bolter thing that Snake gave Sakura, since Snake said it's not lethal. C'mon Asuka, let's go."
Ranma was about to leave toward the building, when Asuka grabbed the back of his shirt. "What the hell do you think you're doing? I'm the Captain here! And your plan is ridiculous!"
Kyle snapped a cartridge into the bolter and then tapped her on the shoulder. "I think it's a good plan."
Asuka was about to comment on her doubt that he could think, when she found herself hoisted up into a pair of strong arms and was airborne.

Ranma winced as Asuka screamed into his ear and then grabbed him tightly. Though she effectively cut off his air supply with her grip, he was able to get a better hold on the window sill with a free hand, hoisting them both into the building.
Sakura and Kyle stared as Ranma jumped into the window with Asuka in her arms.
"Nice jump." Kyle released the safety on the rifle and charged it.
"It's not fair! How come she gets to go with him?" Sakura pouted and followed Kyle as the barriers to doorways were removed.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Ranma deposited Asuka on the ground as he swung into the window, coughing and trying to catch his breath. He recovered quickly, and looked over to Asuka who was kneeling on the ground shaking slightly.
"Hey Captain, you okay?" Ranma took a few steps forward, and then his vision exploded into stars and pretty lights as Asuka drove an uppercut into his jaw. Ranma went reeling, then gulped as Asuka pinned him with a furious glare.
"DON'T... YOU... EVER... DO... THAT... AGAIN!" Her body was encompassed with a halo of red, and Ranma tried to back further into the wall.
"Okay! Okay! Won't do it again! Never! Really!" Ranma let out breath he didn't realize he was holding as Asuka's battle aura disappeared, and her breathing wasn't so labored.
"Just what did you think you were doing?!?! I don't like heights!!" Asuka's glare intensified, and Ranma chuckled nervously.
"S-sorry. I should have asked you first. Uh, so now what?"
Asuka backed up a little, but never tore her deadly gaze from Ranma's eyes. "It's your plan, rookie. What do you suggest?" She challenged him, and her expression slowly grew to a smirk.
Ranma coughed and pointed behind her. "Well, for starters, we should knock out the guys behind you."
Asuka only had time to mutter "Huh?" before she was tackled from behind by two unhealthy-looking office workers.
Ranma winced as Asuka screamed, and then kicked the top guy off of her, sending him flying back into one of the stainless steel desks haphazardly littering the room. He was about to forcibly remove the second attacker when he got a look at him. Rather than a single splotch of black flattened against his skin, this man had several clinging to his body, and was convulsing and trembling rapidly even as he tried to assault the police captain.
Asuka noticed too, because several of the slugs had sensed a new body and were wriggling toward her.
"Ranma! Get him off of me!" Asuka screamed and grabbed onto his leg, and Ranma rolled his eyes.
"Just hold on, will ya?" Ranma quickly went over the man's body and removed each slug (opting to first remove the ones crawling toward Asuka), tossing them casually into a nearby garbage can. Before he was finished the other worker attacked him again, and was consequently tossed into a cubicle.
Asuka swore under her breath as she struggled against the creature/man that was still on top of her. Though his punches were so clumsy and spasmic that they caused no damage, it was still gross to have a man covered with gastropods feeling you up. If she wasn't certain that he wasn't in his proper state of mind, she would have slapped the jerk.
Ranma patted his hand down the insane worker's back, even as his clumsy attacks started to slow down even more. Satisfied that he had gotten rid of all the parasites, Ranma picked the man off of Asuka and tossed him across the room.
"Well it's about freaking time!! What took you so long?!" Asuka might not have shown it very well, but she was grateful. Which was the only thing that was keeping Ranma employed.
Asuka eventually broke off her glare to check herself over for slugs, and Ranma headed into the nearby cubicle to take care of the second man.
*Pow* "Now hold on, I just gotta get rid of this little guy here... there!" *Crash* The office worker went flying through the cubicle wall, and gave a groan as he collapsed into the opposite wall.
Asuka nodded. "Good. Now let's hurry up and meet up with the blunder twins." Ranma was about to question the Captain's nickname for the Tekais when she abruptly left the room, then ran back into the office in a panic.
"Uh, Saotome, why don't you go first?" She smiled nervously. Ranma rolled his eyes and headed into the hallway. The sounds of violence followed.
__________________________________________________________________________________

*Thoom!* "All right, this thing works great!" Kyle grinned and watched as another office worker hit the ground, paralyzed.
Sakura walked behind him, avoiding the unconscious bodies and looking quite calm for someone in her position. "I wonder why other departments aren't using that gun? It's effective and doesn't really hurt anybody."
Kyle shook his head at her innocent naievette. "Sis, there are some times when it is simply best just to kill the other guy. Stunner bolts and tranquilizer darts will never replace good 'ol lead." Kyle sighed wistfully before blasting a body that was still twitching. "Besides, these things are experimental. They're barely safe!"
Sakura sweatdropped, then shrugged and followed her brother down the hall, stepping over the felled office worker.

Sakura was still walking, and contemplating the reality of hunting zombies (or near-zombies) in an abandoned office building, when she bumped into Kyle, who had stopped just before the a 90-degree corner.
Kyle shushed his sister with a noise and a hand gesture, then looked at the opposite wall, waiting for his enemy to appear. When none did, he held up his palm to Sakura, then rolled out into the next segment of hallway... and right into the opposite wall.
"Kyle! Are you alright?" Sakura rushed out to help him, and helped him get off his head.
Asuka stared for a moment, then spoke to Ranma. "This is exactly why I said he shouldn't be promoted when his paperwork came through."
Ranma just sweatdropped. He'd been doing that a lot lately.
Kyle got up off the floor and smiled. "Saotome! You all right?"
Ranma nodded. "Yeah. Looks like we're done here. Hey, Sakura, what's wrong?"
Asuka and Kyle both looked at Sakura after Ranma's question. She was pale and shaky, and her eyes were wide and seemed glued to a point behind Ranma. Kyle was immediately worried, and grabbed her shoulder.
"Sis? Are you okay? You didn't pick up one of those slugs, did you?" Kyle held her hand supportively and began looking her over when she quickly shook her head no.
Asuka scratched her head. "Then what's wrong?"

Asuka's question was answered not by Sakura, but by an inhuman growl behind them. It was deep and throaty, but too high-pitched to be a dog. They all turned around.
Asuka and Kyle's expressions changed to match Sakura's. Ranma's eyes widened, though the sight even made him a little queasy.
Ranma imagined that at one point it had been human, though now it was little more than rubbery skin stretched over a humanoid skeleton. It had no eyes, no nose, no ears, and no hair, and was also devoid of *ahem* gender-specific organs. What was really nauseating, though, was the way that it was covered with the strange black parasites, some of them having grown into snake-like tentacles, writhing around the deathly slim body and burrowing through the skin. The creature's skin bulged and pulsed, like it was covered with huge, breathing welts. Only the lack of any blood kept many there from losing their breakfast.
The grotesque creature let out another low growl, and started stalking towards the small group.
Asuka was one step away from screaming. "Wh-what the hell is that?!"
Kyle grimaced and tossed Sakura's bolter to the side, pulling out an automatic rifle strapped to his back. "Whatever it is, it isn't friendly!"
Ranma and Asuka pulled out their weapons as Kyle released the safety on his rifle. Before they could fire, however, their target raised one of its arms, and it inflated and burst like a water balloon, spewing black slugs in a thick, slimy spray.
Sakura and Asuka screamed and fell onto the ground trying to remove the biological weapons. Kyle gave a quick wipe over his face using his sleeve, trying to at least clear his vision. Ranma had slapped each of the living projectiles out of the air before they could reach him, and opened fire with his rail gun.
The monster let out a screech as the metal spikes pierced its skin, blowing bone and black ooze out its back. Kyle followed suit, and soon the vile thing was being torn apart.
Ranma and Kyle were concentrating hard enough on their aiming, that neither noticed when two long black tentacles burst out of what was left of its chest, until their guns had been grabbed and thrown down the hall.
"How... how can that thing still move?" Kyle could only stare at the monster, or what was left of it, as it continued to advance on them. Most of its skull had been blasted away, along with the entire left side of its body, and its pelvis was leaking a waterfall of black slime. Kyle was still gaping when his legs went numb. "Dammit!!" Kyle yanked up his pant legs, trying to locate the parasite responsible.
Asuka was witness to all of this, and managed to get up off the ground and open fire.
*Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* The bullets either missed or passed right through the creature without any ill effect however, and ultimately served to attract its attention. Its remaining arm swelled up, and it pointed towards Asuka.
"Look out! Mouko Takabisha!!" Asuka ducked as the ball of energy slammed into its target, and the creature disappeared within the light of the explosion.

Ranma sighed in relief and lowered his hands. Nothing remained of the monster except charred debris.
Asuka likewise got up and stared at the massive hole in the opposite wall as she collected her gun. "What the hell was that? ..... And what did you do to it?"
Kyle had managed to locate the slug on his leg and threw it away in disgust as he lay on the ground exhausted. "That was gross. Stupid leeches."
"Slugs," Ranma glared at Kyle.
Asuka rolled her eyes. "Shut up, both of you. That's an order."
"Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!" Everyone's attention was brought to Sakura, who was still screaming and trying to remove a particulalry resilient parasite clinging to her hair, even as she shook her head back and forth wildly.
Kyle sweatdropped and looked at Ranma. Asuka just looked at him and sat back down.
Ranma sighed and grabbed Sakura's shoulder as she passed by again, holding her firmly but gently until he could slide the vile creature out of her long golden mane.
"There you go, it's gone now-*glomp*-erk!" Ranma started having Nerima flashbacks as Sakura commenced a death grip on his torso, sobbing heavily into his chest.
"Hey, cut that out,"Asuka said, annoyed. What was wrong with that girl?
Sakura didn't listen, and only tightened her hold on Ranma's waist as she cried softly into his armor.
Ranma looked at the others helplessly.
Kyle felt an overwhelming urge to say something. "So......... lunch's on me!"
He meant well, but somehow they didn't seem to appreciate the thought.
__________________________________________________________________________________

The SWAT team was understandably surprised when Snake, Tiro, and Junko showed up in an armored van full of enough explosives to level the entire block, not to mention the building. Naturally, the first thing they did was attempt to search and confiscate the weapons in the van, despite the fact that they obviously belonged to the DAPC.
Unfortunately for the SWAT captain, Snake seemed to take the comment "There's no way were going to let a few scrubs from the DA carry around hardware like this" personally.
When Asuka, Ranma, Kyle, and Sakura (still clinging to Ranma's arm) exited the building, the police captain was forced to physically restrain Snake from placing explosives on the SWAT teams' vehicles (and the SWAT team itself, though he might have been joking about that).

"Why that no good, slimy, arrogant sonuva-I oughta blow up their whole unit!!" Asuka sighed at Snake's ranting as she carted another box of plastic explosives back to the van.
"Yes, yes, he's a real jerk. But we really didn't need this much firepower! You probably look like some kind of terrorist with all this stuff." She dumped the cart into the back and closed the back gently, so as not to trigger an explosion.
"Sakura! Are you okay? They didn't get you did they?" Tiro looked on with concern and no small measure of annoyance as Sakura merely sniffled and leaned into Ranma's shoulder more. She hadn't spoken since the trio had left the building, and seemed visibly disturbed. Ranma too, but that more to do with Sakura clinging to him the whole time.
"She-she's fine, just a little shaken up. I think I'd better take her home. Tell Kyle, all right?" Tiro watched passively as Ranma left among the numerous police cars and ambulances, gently leading Sakura along with him.
'Dammit, why does he get all the luck?' Tiro swore to himself.
"Yamazaki! Come on! We need help toting the unconscious bodies out of the building!"
Allowing a rather overdramatic tear to slide down his cheek, Tiro turned away to help his commander.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Kyle stepped into his home warily, looking back and forth as soon as he passed the threshold. He was particulalry nervous tonight, because instead of going out to the bars to celebrate the successful campaign with brain-killing alcohol, he instead had to endure a full hour of hearing Asuka rave about how incompetent and irresponsible Saotome was.
'I thought he did a good job. Hmmm...' Deciding that stealth was uncalled for at this point, Kyle risked calling out. "Hey, Sakura? You home sis?"
Venturing into the living room, he found Sakura sitting up on the couch, wrapped in a thick blanket up to her chin. She looked at him passively and sighed.
"Hey, are you all right?" Kyle sat down next to her, and she took the opportunity to lean against his shoulder.
She sighed again. "Yeah, I'm okay... I just-...... that thing was...... ugh." She shuddered mightily, and Kyle gave her a gentle hug.
"It's all right. It's dead now. Very dead. We had to collect our DNA sample of it from a bit of charred bone that we shot off of it earlier."
"Yeah... but just the thought of it... and if it had gotten us... we would've been like those others..." she shut her eyes tight and fell back against the couch.
Kyle sighed. "Yeah, I think I'm gonna have trouble sleeping myself. It's a damn good thing Saotome was there. And what he did... that thing with his hands... anyway, we owe him one."

Kyle hopped off the couch and stretched. "Well, I'm goin' to bed now. Turn in when you're ready, or you can just crash there."
Sakura nodded absently, and curled more tightily into her blanket.
Kyle stopped halfway up the stairs and called back to her. "And remember, no seducing the guests!"
*Crash* Sakura growled as she stood up from her facefault, but Kyle had already retreated to his room and was beyond retribution.
Sakura's annoyed expression turned depressed, and she stared at the wall wistfully.
'Ranma......'
__________________________________________________________________________________

Ranma was having a good dream. It was the sort of dream that most people only have when either severely drunk or extremely hungry. Namely, it was jumping into a huge mountain of food. There wasn't much to it other than that, except that Kenji, Ryoga, and Genma were all hung upside down strung up by chains just out of reach of the food, with Tiro nearby guarding them while reading an adult magazine.
In what most people regretfully know as the "real world" Ranma was merely sleeping peacefully on his futon, totally unaware of the door to the guest room opening and quietly closing.

Sakura nervously stood next to his futon, clad in baggy pink pajamas. She silently kneeled down next to him, watching the rise and fall of his chest under the blanket.
'He looks so peaceful... so calm...' she sighed and moved closer to him.
"Ranma... Ranma?" she whispered into his ear.

"Ranma... Ranma?"
"Huh? What?" Ranma finished off his drumstick, then looked around in the small dream world.
"Ranma......" Ranma looked around some more, before shrugging and devouring a rack of pork ribs.
"Hey Ranma!" Ranma jumped, then yelled to Tiro.
"You call me?"
Tiro didn't look up. "Nah, someone's trying to wake you up."
Ranma blinked. "Oh." He leaned back onto his throne of grape vines and rooted around in one of the armrests for an apple or pork bun.

"Ranma!" "WAUGH!!"
Ranma shot upright as Sakura forced one of his eyelids open, knocking into her. Sakura, surprised and clumsy as she was, grabbed onto him to keep her balance, only to get her legs tangled in his and cause them both to fall over.
This left Ranma in the both envious and awkward position of being straddled on his back with his face planted between Sakura's breasts. Briefly a thought passed as to what Happousai would give to be him. That line of thinking was soon replaced.
'Don't move... don't talk... don't breathe... if you stay absolutely still, she might not notice you. Yeah, that's it...'
"Oof... what happened? EEP!!" Looking down, and realizing her current position, she jumped up and scrambled to the other side of the room, red as a cherry.
Ranma slowly sat up, ever so careful as to keep his mouth in check. Sakura had proven to be reasonable so far, but he had had too much experience with angered females in the past to risk pushing her, especially when he needed the place to stay.
"So...... um, what'cha doin' here?" Ranma asked slowly, deciding that it was best to pretend like nothing had ever happened.
Sakura apparently thought the same thing, and started to calm down. "Well, I, uh, just wanted to talk to you..."
Ranma nodded, and Sakura scooted over to him.
He smiled. "Well, I'm glad to see you're feeling better. You were pretty freaked out."
Sakura blushed, and lowered her head. "Yeah... Ranma... I just don't know what I'm going to do..."
He blinked. "Huh?"
"Back in the building... you were so brave, and so strong... stronger than I could ever be... and then you helped me when I broke down..."
He sweatdropped. All he remembered was pulling the slug out of her hair and then taking her home when she refused to let go of him.
"I humiliated myself while you fought. Maybe I'm just not cut out for police work..."
Now Ranma was sweating. He was quite aware that talking, or any kind of communication for that matter, was not his strong point. If he tried to reassure her and ended up insulting her, then she'd get angry and throw him out, or even worse, take it seriously and decide to give up.
"Well, uh, why did you choose police work?" he winced as he realized that could have been taken as an agreement with what she had said.
Luckily she took it as an honest question. "Well, before, when I was working in a hospital as an apprentice nurse, I never did very well because I fall apart at the sight of a lot of blood. And some of the bodies that they brought into the emergency room..." Sakura gave a strong shudder. "It was so horrible, and I could never help those people that needed me the most, because sometimes I'd faint in the middle of an emergency surgical procedure..." She blushed some more and started fidgeting, occasionally raising her head, just to make sure he was still there. "So then I thought, 'I should try and help people before they get hurt, and that way I won't have to deal with blood'. It seems really silly now, even to me, but it made perfect sense at the time." She let out a long sigh and stared at the ground. "But now I know I can't do this either, and-"
"Sure you can!" Sakura blinked at the sudden interruption, and looked up when Ranma placed a hand on her shoulder.
Ranma smiled. "Look, just because you got a little spooked on your first assignment doesn't mean police work isn't for you!" Sakura blinked again, and Ranma's face became serious and solemn.
"Trust me, your case isn't so bad. I once knew... um, this girl, who was the most God-awful cook in the world. She could boil water and start a fire in the kitchen, and once she was done, even the water would turn out bad." Ranma's expression changed rapidly, from a moment of sorrow and regret, to a nostalgic chuckle at the memory.
"R-really?" Sakura couldn't believe it. Even she hadn't started out that bad.
"Oh yeah. Of course, she had the opposite problem you do, and thought that she was a fine cook, no matter how many times everybody told her she wasn't. I was on the recieving end of most of her meals. Eventually my Mom managed to convince her that she wasn't ready to cook big, fancy dishes with lots of different foods, and she started from the beginning, learning how to boil water." Ranma's wan smile faded, and his expression turned regretful again.
"Despite me discouraging her all the time, she kept trying, and the last time I saw her, she could actually cook an edible plate of curry. Now that was a miracle."
Ranma sat back onto his futon, and stared up at the ceiling. Then his mind started to wonder what the hell he was doing. It had all just sort of come to him at once.
Then a pair of soft arms enveloped him, and he felt Sakura's warm breath next to his ear.
Sakura gave him a big hug, then let go of him and walked toward the door. She turned around before she left, to see Ranma hadn't budged from his position when she hugged him.
She giggled. "Thank you, Ranma." Then she turned and headed toward her room, and her bed.

Ranma, for his part, remained in the same position, staring straight up at the ceiling for another 2 minutes, before he fell over backward on his futon.
Blinking, he shrugged and grabbed his blanket.
'Hmm. I must be getting better at this kind of thing.'
Wrapping himself in the blanket, he quickly slipped into a deep slumber.

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End Chapter 3