Standard disclaimer applies. Aw heck, why do I even bother? No one ever reads these things anyway.

Director's Cut
Take 3

**********************************************************************************

The party was going incredibly well, especially considering who the guests were.
Ryoga, who had somehow managed to show up on time, was happily chatting with strange people who wished he would leave them alone. Kuno was discussing the current state of economic affairs with Gendo Ikari. Most of the attractive female actors, ranging from Ranko to Shampoo to the Sailor Senshi, were busy turning down overeager romantic requests from the entire male student body of Tomobiki High School. Although most of the Senshi would have glady gone out with Shutaro Mendo, he only seemed interested in getting the attention of Ranko.
Luckily for Mendo, Ranma was far across the room and out of earshot, drinking sake and chatting with the Director's assistant. Remarkably, he hadn't yet disappeared with some girl into one of the rooms upstairs.
It was one of those situations where everything just seemed to be going perfectly.
One of those times when you knew everything was going to go straight to hell.

Ranma sighed as he took another sip out of his cup.
"So, I just wonder sometimes, is this really what I want out of life?"
Max chugged down a cup of punch before turning back to Ranma. "What do you mean?"
Ranma looked at him and shrugged. "You know, I'm just wondering if I'm really happy. Do I have what I want? If I had the option, would I do it all over again? I mean, what do I have, really?"
Max thought about that for a moment. "Let's see... a gorgeous girlfriend, martial arts abilities beyond anything physically possible, a job where you get pampered all the time and you can mess up as much as you want, more money than most third-world countries, and a fanbase consisting mostly of nubile young teenage girls who would give anything for a single night alone with you?"
Ranma stared at him for a moment. "Yeah, that sounds about right. But still, I just feel as if something's... missing."
Max blinked and suddenly looked at Ranma in a new light as much of the cynicism he held toward the young actor evaporated. "Well, maybe you're missing some kind of goal. Like a major contribution to society?"
Ranma stopped to think about that. "Yeah...... a goal."
"Like maybe to end world hunger, or see a certain country make it out of poverty..." Max fairly beamed.
"Or," Ranma started, "to score with every babe from every major anime series ever made!" Ranma held a fist up in triumph, somehow having thought that he accomplished something.
Max's face hit the ground with a vengence.
Ranma chugged down the rest of his sake, then scanned the room.
"Va va voom! Yohko Mano at eight o' clock! See ya later, Nova!"

Max sighed to himself as Ranma left. Looking around the room, his eyes briefly scanned over the "Less than 84 work-related deaths this month!" banner. Next to the bold lettering was a pile of dead stick figure bodies, and another stick figure wearing a director's hat and walking away from the scene while simultaneously whistling and trying to hide a dagger behind his back.
'Speak of the devil.'
"Hey Max! How's the party going?" Black Dragon greeted his assistant, wondering why Max looked so worried.
"Rather well, actually. I'm just wondering how long it will last."
BD briefly looked over the area. "I don't see it going any differently than normal."
Max's head whipped around, and he immediately grimaced. The Ranma 1/2 girls had apparently had had enough of sublety, and had started pounding on the hormone-crazed boys, while the Senshi started trying to lecture them on their behavior. Ranma was leading (or pushing, it was hard to tell) a blushing-like-mad Yohko out the door, while Ryoga had come to blows with someone who had told him to buzz off. Ikari was also sporting few lumps; apparently his views clashed with Tatewaki's a bit too much.

Max sighed again, letting out a little mushroom-puff of air. "I knew it was too good to last."
BD nodded sagely as he poured himself some punch. "Uh-huh, uh-huh...... say, why'd you invite all these people from the other series filming around here?"
Max sweatdropped. "I didn't. They just showed up."
BD blinked. "Oh." He was about to take another sip of punch, when Tsubasa (or more accurately, a lamp post with Tsubasa's head on it) ran into him.
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeee! Rum tastes goooooooooooooooood..........." He ran through the room knocking people over indiscriminantly and generally making quite a nuisance of himself.
Max blinked. "Uh... I don't get it."
"Then don't think about it." BD turned around, apparently ignoring the occurence. "I'm going out. Make sure nobody important is killed, all right?"
Max nodded and went back to observing the guests.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Ah, such freedom, such power." Black Dragon walked up to the set on which his series was filmed and sighed contentedly.
"With this set, this budget, my actors and actresses, and my hordes of remarkably expendable entry-level employees, we will take the anime film industry by storm! Then, THE WORLD!!! MWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!"
"Hey! Could'ya keep it down out there?"
BD blinked. That was Ranma's voice. He walked over to Ranma's dressing room, easily recognizable not only because of the double-door entrance, but also from the love letters, phone numbers, and other proclaimations of love taped, spraypainted, and carved on said doors. There was also a bra stuck above the knob, which meant that the inhabitants were involved in some serious recreation and that entering could be hazardous to one's health (at least if you were male).
"Ranma? You in there?"
It was quite obvious, what with all the moaning and panting that was going on, but he had to check.
"Yes! Can this wait?!"
"Ranma, is something wrong?" That was Yohko. Saotome strikes again.
"Naw, nothing's wrong. Ain't that RIGHT boss? Go back to what you were doing before... no, that other thing...... oh yeah... that's the ticket............"
BD sweatdropped slightly. "Eh, look, whatever you're doing, hurry it up, will you? We're gonna need you on the set in about 30 minutes."
"Half an hour? Damn, gotta speed this up then."
"Huh? What're you-OOOOOOOOOOH!!"
"Er, right. See you on the set, Saotome. Later." BD turned around and hurried away.
"Yes! Yes! OH KAMI YES!!!"
__________________________________________________________________________________

"All right people, I know most of us were sipping martinis just a few minutes ago, but let's try and get it together, all right? You in the plaid, be careful with that, it's really heavy!"
The man turned to face him, only to lose his grip and drop it.
*Crack* "Gyah! My leg! Augh!"
BD slapped his forehead. "Oh brother. Max, would you put him out of his misery please?"
*Blam* *Blam* *Blam*
BD blinked. "Uh, I just meant the first guy." Max shrugged.
Things were almost ready to go when Ranko walked up to the director angrily. "Where's Ranma?!"
BD bigsweated. "Eh? How should I know? He isn't needed for this scene."
Ranko growled, "He left right in the middle of the party! Whenever he's not with me, he's either eating or getting laid! Ooh, I'm gonna give him SUCH a pinch!"
"Excuse me, but we're wasting valuable time here! Worry about your boyfriend later, right now we've got a scene to shoot! Chop chop!"
Slightly miffed at being casually ordered around, but legally obliged by her overly generous contract to obey, Ranko walked over to the set and plopped herself down on one of the benches in the poorly constructed ice cream shop set, Akane tapping her foot impatiently at the opposite end of the table.
BD raised the megaphone to his lips. "All right, action!"

An ice cream sundae was dropped in front of Ranko from out of nowhere. After the cameras had started. BD smacked himself in the forehead.
Akane just sighed. "Stupid SFX dolts... uh, I mean, how is it that I end up paying for your ice cream?"
Ranko was happily oblivious to the scene, as she had immediately attacked the ice cream with vigor that would have left Sailor Moon gaping. *Gulp* *Chomp* *Smack* "Yum!"
Akane sweatdropped. "Ahem... Earth to Ranko, er, Ranma......" Akane cursed under her breath, having even messed that line up.

BD felt the tears welling up inside him, but willed himself to be strong. "Cut. Somebody take away that ice cream."
A nearby stagehand nodded and walked up onto the set. Hastily apoligizing, he grabbed the neck of the glass cup and yanked it away.
"NO!!! It's MINE!!! Mouko Takabisha!" The stage hand was reduced to dust, and Ranko's hand lashed out, rescuing her precious ice cream treat from the hard floor of the set.
"..................................... All right then, wait until she's done. Then replace that with a plastic prop."
Soon she did finish, and licked her lips as another sundae was placed before her.
BD once again tried to maintain order. "Okay, now we'll just- Ranko! What are you doing?!"
*Chomp* "Blech! This stuff is awful!"
BD rolled his eyes. "It should be, being made of cellophane."
Ranko quickly shut up. BD waved on the scene, no longer possessing the strength of mind to yell "Action!"

Akane glared at Ranko. "How is it that I end up paying for your ice cream?" Ranko shrugged and pretended to eat the rubber prop. "Well someone gotta pay!"
Almost at once, the TV in the corner caught Ranko's attention. "Hey, I've been there!"
Akane looked at the television, then blinked as the picture didn't change and no sound came from the device. "Do you think it's broken?"
BD interrupted them. "That's a cardboard box with a picture of some Chinese Mountains pasted on the front. Can we just get on with it?!"
Ranko shrugged. "Uh, okay...... so what now?"
BD growled. "Shampoo, it's your cue! Action!"

*Boom* The restaraunt wall exploded inward, and the purple-tressed Amazon stepped in. "Ranma! I'll kill you!" She said in an utterly adorable sing-song voice.
"CUT!"
Shampoo was almost blown away by the sudden shout. "Is there a problem?"
BD was fairly seething. "Yes, there's a problem! Why are you talking like that?!"
"What do you mean?"
"Like that! It's: 'Ranma! You I kill!' You should be talking like an ignorant 3-year old, not like a normal person!"
Shampoo blinked. "What? Wait... so... those weren't typos in the script?"
BD fell off his chair.
"Just how dumb do you think our writers are?" Max chided.
Shampoo gave him a look.
"Just put up a new wall and do it right this time!" BD yelled. "ACTION!!"

Shampoo crashed through the wall again, only this time a large metal railing above the set that had no real purpose for being there was knocked loose from the vibration and landed right on top of her.
BD fell back into his chair and massaged his forehead. "This isn't happening, this isn't happening......"
Ranko did an admirable job of working with what she had. "Well, uh, I... guess we'd better get out of here... or something......"
Akane sweatdropped and nodded slightly. "Uh, okay. Sure." They walked off-stage.

BD sighed. "Okay, next scene, let's go. Hurry it up."
The stage hands, who by now consisted of ex-convicts and drug addicts who couldn't get jobs anywhere else, hurriedly moved aside the old set and put in the new one. Max, playing the part of the menacing overseer, glared over them from a pedestal while flexing the fingers of his gauntlets menacingly.
"Um, Mr. Dragon, sir?" a timid voice spoke out from behind him, drawing his attention away from the waves of grunted complaints and occasional screams of agony from the lashing of a neural whip.
The man that addressed him was small and wiry, and seemed to skitter about in a panic even though he was just standing there.
"What did you say?"
The man suddenly gasped, then fell to his knees and clapped his palms together above his head. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I meant, of course, Mr. Dragon, Lord and Director of the Second Coming, Avatar of the Great Takahashi-san, and Eternal Ruler of All Who Carry Heavy Cardboard Props!! May this vile, insignificant insect please beg the supreme honor of your attention?!" He appeared to be almost crying by the time he stopped to take a breath.
BD blinked. "Not that I mind, but I was just asking what you said. I couldn't hear you the first time."
Fortunately for the man, his face was already just above the ground, so it didn't hurt much when he fell the rest of the way over.
"So, anyway, did you want something?"
The nervous little man picked himself up and sighed. "Sir, I'm a representative from Blud Succor legal firm. Certain issues have come to our attention that we think you should see."
BD growled, and the man shrunk back. "You expect me to just get up and leave my set to go and listen to your meaningless legal jargon? I've got an agenda to keep up with, fool!" Still scowling, he turned around to come face to face with Max.
"Sir, Shampoo's still out of it, the Tendo living room set has been sabotaged, the Tendo family themselves have been kidnapped, and I just saw Ranma, who's needed for the next scene, walking down the hall with Urd and Ifurita hanging onto his arms." Max gave him a helpless pleading look.
BD stared for a moment, then scratched his chin. "Older Ifurita or the younger, ditzy one?"
"The older, copy-your-attack-and-kick-your-sorry-ass bluette Ifurita."
BD considered this for another moment, then turned around.
"Well, it would appear an opening has just appeared in my busy schedule. You may take me to your lawyers." Getting up in a decidingly imperious manner, he walked alongside the small man with his assistant trailing behind.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"So anyway, then the physician says: 'I wasn't talking about your cerebral cortex, I have a golf game tommorrow!'"
The various men scattered around the office all simultaneously burst into hilarious laughter, some of them even falling off the furniture and falling to the ground. After a while they managed to tone it down to strong chuckling.
One of the attorneys regained the sense to ask, "Hey, what's a cerebral cortex anyway?"
The one who had told the joke shrugged. "I have no idea. It's just some weird doctor's term. We probably don't even have one."
"I'd agree with that!"
All the lawyers turned toward the door to the office at the shout, and suddenly it burst open, almost falling off it hinges.
Black Dragon retracted his foot, then straightened his suit before stepping in.
"Um, the door wasn't locked," Max reminded his boss.
BD nodded. "I know. It's just more dramatic this way."
He walked up to the large desk in the center and slammed his hands down on it.
"All right, I'm here, so stop telling your stupid doctor jokes and let's get down to business."
The joke-teller was apparently offended. "Hey, now! Who do you think you are?!"
BD glared at him, then turned towards the attorney on the other side of the desk. "Can I kill him without a lawsuit?"
The man he addressed coughed. "It would of course be far beyond your legal rights to ever harm a member of-"
BD waved a twenty dollar bill around in the air.
"You're right, of course. I never liked him either."
Before the unfortunate victim could voice a protest, Max had raised his gauntlet and fired.
*Blam!*
BD released the twenty from his grip, and all the lawyers in the room lunged for it, ignoring the charred spot that was once their co-worker.
BD sat down on the other side of the desk, trying to look composed, rather than disgusted, at the tangled dogpile of cheap, tacky suits before him. Eventually they lost sight of the twenty, and started beating each other indiscriminately.
Black Dragon quickly got bored with it, amusing as it was.
"Max, could you shock them out of it, please?"
Max looked uncertain. "They could sue."
BD considered this, then sighed. "You're right."
He pulled out his megaphone.
"CUT IT OUT!!!!!!"
The lawyers were blasted to other side of the room by the sound wave, and BD calmly put the megaphone back in... wherever he kept it.
"Now could someone PLEASE tell me why I'm here?"
One of the men, the one that had been sitting at the desk before, cleared his throat, then pulled up a stack of papers.
"Mr. Dragon, as one of our clients, we felt it was necessary to inform you of-"
"Hold it, hold it!" BD interrupted, then paused. "...... I'm one of your clients?"
The lawyer blinked. "Uh......... yes?"
BD scratched his chin, then turned toward Max. "Why do I seek representation from a company called 'Blud Succor'?"
Max shrugged. "Perhaps as a sort of vague, hazy plot advancement?"
BD stared. "There's a plot?"
The lawyer coughed into his hand. "Be that as it may, it is my duty to inform you of several factions pressing charges against you. Five of them, to be precise."
Max whistled. BD shook his head. "I didn't know there were five people outside my studio and family that even knew my name."
The lawyer shrugged. "The first two factions are the Knights of the True Fiancee and Defenders of the True Fiancee. The first group claims responsibility for destroying a set in your studio, and the second is threatening to slay Nabiki Tendo, who is currently being held captive in Canon Temple. Both demand immediate deletion of all your anti-Akane scripts, especially Guardian and Nexus."
BD leaned back in thought. "Well, I can't let them destroy the set, and Nabiki's agents will flay me alive if I let her bite the dust, so I guess I can't just ignore her either."
The man nodded. "The third one is DORK, or Directors Opposed to Random Killing. Many of the others around the studio lot disapprove of your casual elimination of your staff, and especially of your casual elimination of their staff."
BD shrugged. "Eh, I'll take care of that later. Next?"
"The next one is a bit odd." The attorney frowned. "Lucifer, unholy master of the Underworld, has requested your soul in compensation for his hand in your gain of wealth and power."
BD groaned. "Dang! Who would've thought that would come back to haunt me?"
Max looked perplexed. "You promised him your soul? I wasn't aware you possessed one to sell."
BD shifted uncomfortably. "What do you think the problem is? Anyway, what's the last one?"
"You're brother and arch-nemesis, PrismKnight83, has sent a warning that he's leading a full out campaign against you and your reign of terror across the land. Also, he says it's your turn to do the dishes."
BD bristled. "Crud! That jerk! I even ate out last night!"
He calmed down, then leaned back in the chair, idly scratching his chin with a finger.
"So, this is what it comes to. Very well, as you're apparently representing me, what are you going to do?"
The lawyer took of his glasses and cleaned it on his shirt as he answered. "Well, obviously, the best thing for us to do is terminate our dealings with you and seek employment among your enemies."
BD blinked. "Huh?"
A different lawyer turned to the man behind him. "I hear Satan offers very generous contracts."
The other attorney nodded. "Yes, he's always had a fondness for lawyers."
"Comissions galore!"
BD stood up angrily. "Wait a minute! You can't do this to me!"
The negotiator smiled ever so slightly. "Actually, we can. Now I suggest you remove yourself from the premises before we sue you for standing there and glaring at us menacingly."
His left eye twitching, BD whirled around, then stomped out of the room, his assistant following him.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Those blasted scum-sucking cretins will pay! Nobody crosses me and lives!"
Max looked doubtful. "Well, there was Tad, your last assistant. And Sarah. And just about everybody in your family mocks you and-"
"I get the point," he grumbled out.
"Death to the Dragon!"
BD stopped. "Huh? Whazzat?"
"Death to the Dragon!!"
The befuddled director and his assistant turned toward the window, which showed only sky and distant buildings, being on the third floor.
Looking outside, there appeared a large crowd of angry otaku, many of them carrying signs with Akane inscribed in a big heart.
"The Knights and Defenders," Max growled out.
"Burn him!"
"Tar and feather him!"
"Mallet him!"
"Turn him over to the homosexual tentacle monsters!"
There was a visible shudder throughout the crowd as this was said.
BD backed away from the window in terror.
"D-Damn! I can't go out there! They'll kill me!" He gulped, then added, "If I'm lucky."
"Leave, stay, either way your fate is sealed, Black."
BD and Max turned around to see a large figure in shiny red knight's armor with a sword strapped to his belt. He was built like a football player and was almost as big as Max, had very short brown hair, and an immature, soft-lined face. Upon reasonable inspection, it was obvious that the armor and sword were both composed of cheap plastic.
BD snarled. "PrismKnight......"
PK laughed. "Fool! We have come for you! This is your last chance! Step away from the path of darkness and chaos, and walk with us on the journey of peace, love, and predictable characterization!"
He crossed his arms over his chest and sniffed at him. "Also, when you're done scrubbing the dishes you can take out the garbage. It smells awful in there."
BD stepped back, then raised a fist. "NEVER!!! NEVER, DO YOU HEAR ME, NEVER!!!!"
PK took a step forward. "There's nowhere to run! Give up!"
BD suddenly grinned. "Who said anything about running?" He pulled off his jacket and threw it onto the floor, then raised his fists.
PK growled, and raised his fists too, completely forgetting he had a sword, even if it was plastic.
Max looked on, concerned. "Sir!"
BD shook his head. "No Max! You can't help me this time! This is my fight! YAAAAAH!!!"
With a wordless battlecry, he charged forward toward PrismKnight, who also screamed incoherently and rushed ahead.
*Wham!*
Both combatants banged into each other, then staggered back, stunned from the impact. Max sweatdropped.
PK recovered first, having a much thicker head, then took out his sword.
"Heretic! I slay you!" *Whack* *Whack* *Whack* *Whack* *Whack* *Whack*
"Boss!" Max watched helplessly as the man who signed his paychecks was steadily beaten to the floor with the flimsy Halloween costume accessory.
Eventually PK stopped to catch his breath, not being the sort that's used to any kind of physical task, and realized that his foe was already unconscious.
"Ha ha ha! Victory! Never again will you spread your wretched taint among canon-thumpers and the authors of poorly conceived lemons!" He turned slowly toward Max, a small smile spread on his lips.
Max backed up a step, then activated his gauntlets into three-foot purple blades of pure energy. "Back off! Or else!"
PK laughed again. "Or else what? You can't harm me, for you see, I possess..." he thrust a hand into his pocket, "YOUR... hey, it's not in here..." he took his hand out, then checked his other pocket. "Funny, it's not in this one either. Hold on a sec, okay?"
Max rolled his eyes in exasperation, but deactivated his weapons as PrismKnight started to search himself.
"Ah hah! Got it!" He coughed into his hand, then pointed at Max, his other hand behind his back.
"You can't harm me, for you see, I possess... YOUR CONTRACT!!!" He pulled the piece of paper out from behind his back, and Max gasped and backed away.
"No...... where did you get that?!"
PK only grinned wider. "Come now, be reasonable... break your ties with him," he gestured to the still-unconscious figure on the floor, "and serve me, and together we shall rule the cinema industry as Director and Assistant Director!"
Max backed away some more. "No! I won't turn! Never!"
PK shoved the contract forward. "Come! This is all that remains to bind you to him! Burn it, and join me!"
Max screamed and clutched his head. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Turning around, he dove down the stairs even as maniacal laughter erupted from behind him.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Max was panting heavily by the time he reached the studio again, and barely possessed the strength to pull open the heavy doors to the lead actor's personal dressing room.
"Ranma! Something terrible has happened!" He gasped out, then sweatdropped.
Ranma was currently staring back at him questioningly from his position against the edge of his personal hot tub, which was surrounded by all the Sailor Senshi except Saturn, who all wore thong bikinis that corresponded to their costume's color.
"Hey dude. Something the matter?" Ranma smiled at him warmly and eased up as Makoto snuggled against his chest.
Max twitched, then took a deep breath. "Black Dragon's been captured!"
Ranma blinked, and tried to force his mind past what Setsuna was doing with his leg to think about it.
"The director? He's gone?"
Max nodded vigorously.
"Sweet! Looks like I've got the rest of the week off!" He grinned and pulled Minako into the spa against with him, earning him a playful giggle and another action that can't be described without compromising the PG-13 rating.
Max growled. "What are you talking about? We've got to save him!"
Ranma chuckled and leaned his head back into Rei's lap. "Why?"
The director's assistant had to stop to think about that one, growing increasingly frustrated as he couldn't think of a logical reason. Eventually he settled on a cliche. "Because the show must go on!"
"And so it will!"
Max turned and jumped back, and Ranma peeled his eyes away from Ami's cleavage long enough to get a good look at PrismKnight as he walked into the room.
PK took a look at the group of scantily-clad women and frowned.
"*Ahem* Ladies, I just recieved a call from your studio manager, and they need you on the set in 2 minutes."
The Senshi all gasped, and climbed out of the pool before Ranma could even realize they had to leave.
"OmigoshifI'mlateonemoretimeI'mgonnagetfiredIgottago!!" The other Senshis' exclaimations were generally more coherent than Usagi's, but they all managed a panicked complaint before they disappeared out the back door of the room.
Ranma gaped, being suddenly left alone. PK nodded.
"Good. Ranma, get some clothes on. The new script is just outside, and we need you on the set in half an hour. Good day." PK turned around and walked out, never giving the young martial artist a chance to reply.
Max sighed and slumped to the floor. "I fear all is lost."
Ranma's eye twitched, and he slowly lifted himself out of the hot tub. "I don't like him."
Max nodded. "Yeah, well, he's your new director. Are you sure you don't want to rescue BD?"
Ranma shook his head. "Nah. BD's a pretty cool guy, but it ain't my job to put myself on the line for him." He stretched out, then walked over to the dresser.
Max sighed wearily and slumped further down against the wall.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Right! Come now, set it down right there! Good!" PrismKnight waved off a couple of stagehands, then sat down in the director's chair to admire the set.
He had managed to get both the kidnapped Tendo family and a new set of Japanese living room props from the pro-Akane groups that had dragged Black Dragon away with them. Not that he cared one way or another about Akane, but he tended to take an instant liking to everything and everyone that his older brother disliked.
The new stagehands and other studio employees took a liking to him too, mostly as he didn't seem like a sadistic maniac.
He didn't notice Ranma until he had stalked right up next to the chair.
"Something wrong, Saotome?"
Ranma glared at him. "Yeah! What the hell is this?" He waved a stack of paper at him.
PK blinked. "That's the new script. It's a remarkable improvement over the last one. Or at least that's what the Knights said."
Ranma stared at him incredulously. "This miserable, stupid, double-spaced waste of dead trees is what we're going to make into a film?"
PK nodded. "I didn't think it was that bad. A little cheesy, I guess, but that's cool."
"You wouldn't know a good piece of writing if I smacked you over the head with it!!" Ranma screamed.
PK rolled his eyes. "Well, duh. I'd have to read it first."
Ranma facefaulted.
"Now get on the stage. The cameras are ready."
Hanging his head in defeat, Ranma got up and trudged toward the stage.
PrismKnight smiled smugly to himself, then called out, "All right, let's do this. Remember: no screw ups, and try and put some feeling into it! Action!"

Ranma, Genma, and the Tendos ate dinner in silence, until finally Genma speaks up.
"Say boy, why don't you take Akane to that fair that's coming through town tommorrow?"
Soun smiled and quickly joined in. "Why, that's a fine idea Saotome!"
Ranma and Akane both tensed, and Ranma ground out, "There's no way I'm taking her on a date! Forget it!"
Akane growled. "Fine! I wouldn't want to be seen in public with a sex-changing pervert like you anyway!"
"Tomboy!" Ranma retorted.
Akane's retort involved an empty metal serving dish in Ranma's face.
Ranma stood stunned as the dish clattered to the floor, and suddenly everyone else at the table froze, and the light dimmed.
A single bright light suddenly shone down on Ranma, and he stood up, facing the sky.
"Oh Akane, why can't I just tell you how I truly feel?"
He raised a shaking fist in front of him, and dramatic music played out from the sound stage.
"Why can't I say it? 'I love you'. Why can't we put aside our bickering, put aside our false masks, and embrace each other? Don't you know that the longing in my heart is far worse than any pain you could put me through? Can't you see that I care for you? That my soul sings out for you?"
Feeling thoroughly disgusted, Ranma sat back down as the light faded, and another one appeared around Akane.
"Oh Ranma, how can I possibly let you know how much I love you? That my heart yearns for you? That every time someone comes between us, all I can think of is the pain of you leaving me?"
Nabiki mouthed 'this sucks' without moving otherwise.
Ranma mouthed back 'I know'.
"It is only pride, my foolish pride, and yours, that keeps me from my one true love! Why can't we embrace our destiny and admit our feelings?!"

Max, who had watched the scene from the shadows behind the extra stage lights, silently turned and walked out of the studio. He had seen enough.

**********************************************************************************

Author's Notes:
Well, there you have it. I have no idea why people keep asking for more of this, and perhaps I don't want to know. I realize that I focus too much on my own character here, and will try to focus more on the actors in the next take, if by some sickening circumstance people still aren't convinced to let this series die.
Before anybody thinks to ask, no, I will not turn this sereis into a bunch of ecchi scenes with Ranma and various other girls. I do not write lemons. That is all.