"Today we begin our new feature: Meet the Teachers! In order to give the school bookies time to take bets on Ranma Saotome's species, we've decided to launch a new feature that gives YOU, the reader, fresh insight into the background and motivations of our wonderfully dysfunctional faculty!"

With an elegant twirl, the nekomata gestured to the redheaded advisor to the fight club. "May I present our assistant gym instructor, Riza Wildman!"

To the side of Shizuka, Riza lounged in a small wooden chair with one arm over the back rest and a bored expression on her face. "Okay, so what do I have to do, again?"

"Explain to us a little about yourself and how you came to be a teacher at Youkai Academy!" Shizuka said.

Riza hesitated as she scratched her cheek. "Well... I guess I should say first that I'm a warrior, born and raised. I'm not really too much into this 'civilization' bit, but things just kind of turned out this way."

She sighed. "I'm a half-werewolf, half-human hybrid, so it's not like I have any problem being among humans or adapting, and I suppose that's why I managed to get the job. They need teachers that have actually lived with humans peacefully... not that my life among humans had much in the way of peace, but you get the idea."

The redhead smiled wistfully as she continued speaking. "I used to work for this royal chick back in the day, acting as a bodyguard because she had a lot of trouble with assassination attempts. It was pretty hairy, but at least it was never boring, and I got free room and board."

Then she crossed her arms over her chest. "Problem was, the princess didn't pay us, so when I got my motorcycle wrecked for like the fifth time trying to save her skin from the giant man-eating crab of the week, the mechanic threw away my credit card and kicked me out. I've been hiding from debt collectors ever since."

Riza shrugged. "I needed money to fix my wheels and pay off the debts, and I heard that there was this place that was hiring monsters to teach kids how to imitate humans. I never considered a career in education until now, but what was I supposed to do? Wandering monsters and assassins just don't yield the kind of loot that they used to, you know? So in the end I kind of put my grand quest to avenge my brother's death on hold until I can walk down the street without being chased by repo men. And here I am."

Nodding sharply, Riza completed her tale, and then noticed that Shizuka was glaring at her with her ear-like tufts of hair pressed back against her head.

"What?" Riza asked, perplexed.

Shizuka bristled, and then turned away sharply. "Hmph. I didn't know you were a wolf."

Riza sweatdropped. "Oh, get over it. Damn cat."

The nekomata hissed in annoyance. "Anyway, that's all for now. Hopefully we'll have a better guest for next time. Have fun!"

Black Dragon Productions proudly presents
a Ranma and Rosario Plus Vampire crossover

Disclaimer: Screw your series two! I always preferred Tsukune as a wuss and Inner Moka as an obnoxious talking fashion accessory, and now I'M in control! Ha ha! Ha ha ha hah! MWAA HA HA HA HAAA!

Key: Writing/Emphasis, Sounds, 'Thoughts', "Speech", (Comments that you can freely ignore)

Big Human on Campus
Chapter 7
Breaking Minds, Smashing Faces

The day began like any other day for Ranma; with a scream and a flurry of motion.

"GWAH! GET IT OFF!"

Granted, it was different in that he wasn't doing any of the screaming or motion, and as a result the pigtailed boy spent several seconds in a confused haze as he stared at his pillow, slowly coming to the realization that he wasn't staring at either the koi pond or the ground rushing up to meet him.

Belatedly turning his head to look at Tsukune's bed, he saw the younger human clinging to the head board as he panted for breath, his face pale. The reason for his unease probably had something to do with one of the larger tarantulas crawling lazily across the top of his comforter, seemingly unaware or unbothered by the terror it had caused.

"Morning 'Kune," Ranma yawned, scratching the back of his head as Tsukune shuddered. "You okay? She didn't bite you or nothin' did she?"

After the other human took some time to ensure that his heart was still beating, he shook his head. "No... No, I'm okay..." he said wearily, loosening his grip on his bed frame. "Just... startled me, I guess. I'm not used to waking up to one of those things staring me in the face..."

"Sorry about that," Ranma mumbled as he pushed himself out of bed sluggishly. "Look on the bright side, though; a shot of adrenaline like that wakes ya right up." Honestly, Ranma almost missed being tossed out his window on school days; with only his own will power and the dubious incentive of class to get him up in the morning, he had been getting lazier and lazier when it came to getting out of bed.

"Okay, sure. Whatever you say," Tsukune said nervously as he slowly inched out of bed, trying not to disturb his unwelcome visitor while also scanning the floor for more spiders. "I have to say though, I think this spider thing is getting out of hand."

Ranma stopped shambling toward the bathroom and turned his head. "Eh? Out of hand how?"

Tsukune frowned as he considered his words. "Simple things like hygiene and presentability. Have you ever considered what would happen if we had guests? Don't you remember what happened to Kouma?"

"Well, he wasn't exactly a 'guest', really," Ranma protested.

"Ranma..." Tsukune crossed his arms over his chest.

"And they aren't aggressive as long as nobody makes cat noises!"

"RANMA..." Tsukune said louder, his expression stern.

The pigtailed boy deflated, and he glanced down to where one of the melon-sized arachnids was crawling up onto his leg. "All right, all right, I get it. You have a point."

Tsukune nodded. "Thank you. I want to be fair about this, Ranma. You can keep spiders, but having them running around free like this in our room isn't okay. What do you think the girls would think if they came in here?"

"I understand," Ranma said weakly, clearly chastened. "I'll find somewhere to-"

He was interrupted by a knocking sound, and Ranma turned to get the door. "Hold on, someone's here. We'll sort this out later."

Tsukune nodded as he moved toward his dresser to put on his uniform.

Ranma reached the door and opened it, and he was pleasantly surprised to see Kurumu waiting in the hall.

"Hi Ranma! I just wanted to-WHOA! Is that a giant spider?" she shouted in shock, her eyes widening as she noticed the arachnid crawling up the side of Ranma's boxers.

The pigtailed boy winced. "Well, yeah, but don't worry it's-"

"Oh my gosh! That is SO CUTE!" the succubus exclaimed, her face breaking into a smile as she crouched down to stare eye-to-eye with the hairy creature. "I didn't know you and Tsukune kept giant spiders!"

"Er... yes. Yes we do," Ranma said awkwardly as the busty monster stroked the arachnid's swollen abdomen. "I... didn't know you liked spiders. Really, I didn't know anybody really liked spiders." Frankly, he had only grown attached to them because they were plentiful and obedient, not out of any particular affection for the species.

"Of course I love spiders!" Kurumu cooed. "Who could resist those beady little eyes and wriggling little fangs?" She looked up at Ranma. "Can I hold him?"

"Knock yourself out," Ranma mumbled, turning his head to give Tsukune a meaningful glance.

The younger human shrugged weakly as he fixed his tie, obviously having no more insight into Kurumu's tastes than his roommate.

"Eeee! He's so warm and fuzzy!" Kurumu squealed as she held the spider up and rubbed her cheek against its back. "Does he do any tricks?"

"Just one," Ranma admitted. "I can show it to you if you want, but you'll need to come to me and Tsukune's homeroom class. Miss Nekonome is the only cat-person I-"

"Never mind! Never mind that!" Tsukune suddenly shouted, stepping up behind Ranma now that he was fully dressed. "Kurumu! Hi! What are you doing here?"

"Hi darling!" the succubus purred as she promptly latched onto the shorter man, pressing his face into her breasts as was their (or rather, her) usual greeting custom.

Normally Tsukune felt a great deal of guilty pleasure from the over-affectionate gesture, but this time his face darkened as he found himself mere inches away from the giant spider, which was now sitting on Kurumu's shoulder and wiggling its feelers at him.

"I just stopped by so we could all have breakfast together!" Kurumu said brightly, continuing to pillow Tsukune's head even as the hairy arachnid crawled over the swell of her breasts and onto his hair.

"I'll have to meet up with you guys. I have to wash up and stuff first," Ranma said as he headed back into the dorm room.

"Okay! See you later!" Kurumu chirped before she finally altered her hold on Tsukune to drag her along behind her rather than suffocate him in her cleavage.

"Wait... spider... head... s-stop," Tsukune stuttered nervously as he tried to keep pace while keeping his head perfectly level. He could feel the heavy arachnid shifting through his hair, and the constant movement of furry legs sent chills up and down his spine.

"Don't worry about it; I'm sure he could use some fresh air anyway! Now c'mon, Moka is waiting for us in the cafeteria!" the succubus said cheerfully as Tsukune groaned weakly behind her.

"All right maggots, listen up!" Haruo growled. "Do you know why I called you here today?"

Currently the restless gargoyle was pacing in front of a line of four other Enforcers, each of them devoid of the rank badge that marked Haruo's chest and labeled him a junior officer.

"I called you idiots here because you're the only morons among the Enforcers of lower rank than me! You're the worst of the worst, the scum of the Enforcers!" Haruo growled, his eyes glowing slightly as they swept over the recruits.

"Dude... harsh," a lanky Enforcer with his hands in his pockets mumbled gloomily.

"I was only recruited recently! Gimme a break!" growled a larger student with wild hair and curiously wrinkled skin.

"Hmph. Just tell us what you want, already," demanded a short boy with dark rings around his eyes.

"The only reason I'm below you in rank is because I actually follow the rules and stop fights rather than taking in bribes for the squad!" snapped the final Enforcer, a boy with shaggy white hair that obscured his eyes.

The others quickly glanced at the last speaker, surprised.

"Wait, seriously?" the lanky grunt asked, raising an eyebrow. "Why do you bother?"

"It's an alignment thing. I don't wanna talk about it," the shaggy boy growled.

Haruo shook his head. "I don't care what excuses you have for being so pathetic, but today you're in luck," the gargoyle said, his mouth breaking into a grin. "Because today we're going to kill Ranma Saotome."

The four junior Enforcers looked utterly shocked at the revelation.

"What? Why?"

"Never mind why, I'm more interested in 'how'!"

"No, no, he's right; why should we even bother trying to take down the hot shot of the freshman class?"

Haruo snorted. "Ranma Saotome stands accused of three separate counts of assaulting an Enforcer without provocation, one count of possessing an unregistered pet in the dorms, rampant truancy, repeated destruction of public property, and a buddy of mine from class D said that he totally cut in line once during lunch!"

"Ah. I see." "Yup." "Shoulda known."

Only the white-haired boy dared dispute the trumped-up charges. "Do you take us for morons? We all know exactly what 'crime' he committed. You started a fight with him and he defended himself. Now you're trying to drag all the rest of us into your stupid grudge match!"

Haruo considered the question briefly, scratching the underside of his chin. "Yes, I do take you for morons."

The four Enforcers bristled, and Haruo rolled his eyes. "Now, now. Have you considered the respect and fame you'll command once the infamous Ranma Saotome has fallen by your efforts? At the very least, a promotion among the Enforcers would be in order as a reward for your prowess and foresight in taking down such a... disruptive figure."

Considering the matter closed, the gargoyle turned to a chalkboard with a crude stick-figure drawing of Ranma on it and many arrows pointing to him. At the other ends of the arrows were random monster heads, every one of them with X's for eyes.

"Anyway, here's the plan: obviously, a four-way direct assault might work, but Saotome can be tricky and he has friends. At best, we'd defeat him with severe casualties."

The short Enforcer raised his hand. "Four-way? Including you, there are five of us."

"Quiet down, that plan is no good," the gargoyle snapped. Then he pointed to the next picture, which had Ranma's head drawn at the end of a little bed with its eyes closed and a bubble coming from his nose. Surrounding the bed was several stick figure spiders.

"Plan B was to attack while he was asleep. However, my efforts at scouting have revealed that his bed is protected by a picket of deadly arachnid sentries!"

The lanky boy scratched his head. "Giant spiders? Seriously? I could take 'em all out in a jiffy," he snapped his wrist to the side, and a butterfly knife slipped into his palm where he flipped it open. "I can do it silent as the wind, too. He wouldn't hear a thing."

"No, that's okay," Haruo said weakly, shaking his head. "If Keito heard I had a bunch of spiders killed..." well, honestly, he had no idea how upset she'd be, but the spider-woman was scary enough that he wasn't willing to take the risk. "Anyway, I've decided on plan C!"

Seeing his minions' doubtful expressions, Haruo cleared his throat. "You'll be happy to know, first of all, that this plan doesn't involve you fighting Saotome in any way, shape or form."

Three of the junior Enforcers breathed sighs of relief, while the wrinkled one frowned. "If we don't fight him, how are we going to gain respect and fame for beating him?"

"All will become clear at the end," Haruo promised as he moved to the end of the chalkboard. This one had a picture of the Enforcers surrounding a cage with stick-figure drawings of Tsukune, Kurumu, Moka, and Yukari inside. Off to the side, a stick-figure Haruo was kicking a stick-figure Ranma while the latter drawing cried and called for his mommy.

"You see, rather than trying to overcome Saotome's full strength or wait for him to be vulnerable, instead we - and by we I mean you - will capture his friends, and then we'll threaten to kill them if he resists! And then we - and by we I mean I - can kill him instead without any fear of getting beaten to a bloody pulp!"

The other Enforcers looked skeptical as they went over the plans.

"I guess it could work..." the short one mumbled, "I mean, as long as nobody unexpected gets in our way and his friends turn out to be total pushovers."

"Yeah, about that," the shaggy-haired boy said as he grimaced, "isn't Akashiya supposed to be a vampire? You know, one of the so-called 'strongest monsters in the world'?"

"I heard that the babe is no wimp either," the lanky Enforcer grumbled as he played with his knife, "and the shorty is a witch. I hate magic." He snapped his knife shut, and with a twist of his wrist it vanished back into his sleeve. "But what's even more worrisome is Aono. I don't mind going up against a strong opponent if I know what I'm getting into, but nobody knows what kind of monster he is. If there's one thing I hate more than magic, it's a wild card."

"By the way, you still haven't explained how all this under-handed stuff is gonna give us street cred against Saotome," the larger Enforcer pointed out.

Haruo nodded seriously. "Those are all valid concerns, and you're to be commended for your foresight and wisdom in noting them." Then he thrust a fist into the air. "Now prepare to move out! I need all of Saotome's loved ones rounded up and at our mercy ASAP! Get to it!"

The junior Enforcers grimaced as they watched their superior march out of the room, each one getting a strong feeling that they were being set up for failure.

"Well, what the hell? I didn't have anything else planned for the rest of my life anyway," the lanky boy mumbled as he rubbed his hair.

"Eh, we might as well give it a shot. Haruo can get us in trouble for disobeying him, after all," the short boy noted, turning his sagging eyes to the boy with white hair. "You coming?"

"I have to," the only ethical Enforcer growled. "The orders came from a superior, and I'm lawful."

"That sucks, dude," said the largest of the group as he cracked his knuckles. "Whelp, we have our orders to beat up a bunch of girls and a helpless wimp. Let's go enforce some law and order!"

Ranma hummed to himself as he scrubbed himself clean underneath the warm spray of the shower head, his voice unconsciously mimicking a certain tune he had once been subjected to while asleep. He had been humming it a lot recently whenever he was alone, and for some reason he was always reminded of Kana when he did so.

Actually, he had spent a lot of time thinking on his new friends here at Youkai Academy, and that occasionally led him to think about the friends - or, more often, malicious acquaintances - he had left behind in Nerima.

Ranma honestly felt a little ashamed of how well things were going here. Sure, things had started out badly enough, but recently hardly a day went by when he didn't see something new or interesting. The fights had started getting more exciting too, and there was even more variety behind them; his last opponent, Chopper, hadn't even forced him into a battle or demanded terms when he wanted a scrap. It was a refreshingly original approach to being a violent psychopath, and Ranma could appreciate that.

On the less violent side of things, his relationships with his friends and even the students who he wasn't close to could hardly be better. Tsukune had pretty much become a little brother to him, and he found Kurumu, Kana, and Yukari's company to be a nice change from those of his female companions back home. Even Moka was fun to have around, if only so he could tease the bloodsucker.

Therein lay the guilt, however. The girls back in Nerima weren't just his friends, they were his fiancees, and some of them had real, legitimate claims to his future (if not his heart). It felt wrong to simply shove them aside because they were getting too pushy and replace them.

Akane was the worst case. After the fight with Saffron, he had thought that they had finally made a connection; that perhaps, just maybe, they were finally ready to move beyond the skittish denial and jealous tantrums that more often than not exemplified their relationship. And for all he knew, they had been. But rather than staying and exploring his feelings for her, he had instead hopped on the last bus to some creepy mansion in the middle of nowhere filled with horrific beasts ready to tear him limb from limb.

And by God, he was really starting to like it. Ranma couldn't say he missed the Tendo Dojo with so much as a drop of sincerity, and even Akane, the supposed love of his life, occupied his thoughts less and less nowadays.

Of course, it's not like he wouldn't see Nerima ever again; from what he was told, he would be allowed to visit the human world after each semester, and Ranma was sure that all the folks he had left behind would be waiting to mob him the very moment he set foot in the prefecture. And as miserable as that experience was sure to be, it was still far better than if the people in Nerima managed to track him down here instead.

Ranma shuddered as he thought about what would happen if a bunch of Neriman humans forced their way into Youkai Academy and found themselves surrounded by a veritable army of creatures from man's worst nightmares.

Those poor monsters...


After a few more seconds, Ranma realized that the cold chill wasn't just from his morbid thoughts, and he looked up to see that the tiny bathroom window located above his dorm's shower was open.

"Hey, Mizore, could you close the window? It's a bit cold," he asked, moving closer to the jet of steaming water and allowing it to cover more of his body.

Clack! The window promptly slid shut.

Sssslt! Then, after a few seconds, it slid open again.

"Wait, you knew I was here?" Mizore's voice asked from outside the window. Ranma couldn't see her, but figured she was peeking in from above the window judging by her voice and the possible angles involved.

"Well, no offense, but you kinda suck at being stealthy," Ranma said as he started to lather his hair. "Seriously, my Pop is way better at stalking than you, even while in panda form."

Mizore frowned. Nobody had ever told her that she was a bad stalker before. She had always assumed that sheer persistence for her creepy fixations made up for poor sneaking. "What can I do to be better?"

"Well, I'm not sure, but you've got a lot of issues with your approaches," Ranma noted as he washed out the lather. "For one thing - and this is just for starters - every time you get close, the air temperature drops a few degrees. That's a pretty big hint."

"I see... what else?" as she kept Ranma talking, she fit the extended lens of a large camera into the open window, tilting it down to get the proper angle as she adjusted the zoom.

Splap! Mizore frowned as a washcloth was thrown into her camera's lens, wrapping around the end and completely obscuring the view.

"Second, you're going to need a pocket camera if you wanna take good stalker pics," Ranma advised as he turned off the water. "I don't remember exactly what model Nabiki used, but it was a small digital thing." He stepped out of the shower and then wrapped a towel around his waist right before the wet cloth fell off the camera lens. "There's technique to it, too: you have to take the picture quickly, usually without looking through the lens itself. Probably takes some practice."

He swiped a comb through his hair a few time so that it looked merely messy rather than like a wet mop over his head, and then the martial artist waved toward the window as he walked out to the bedroom. "Anyway, give it some thought. See you later."


The bathroom door closed, and Mizore's head slowly lowered itself down to the window, staring into the bathroom upside-down.

"...... How does he know so much about stalking?" she wondered aloud.

Tsukune sometimes wondered about the future.

Not the immediate future, concerning whether or not he was going to be eaten by a chimera by evening, but about the distant future, concerning his career and the path his life might take after completing his education.

Currently, he was considering monster anthropology. Sometimes it was truly fascinating - and on occasion, quite important - to take note of the fundamental differences in monster and human societies. Many of these points were given even greater emphasis because the monsters were, ostensibly, supposed to be acting like humans, and the observations were really quite fascinating.

Case in point: today he had learned that among monsters tarantulas basically replaced puppy-dogs in the role of pets that doubled as major chick magnets.

"Ooh, look at his fuzzy widdle abdomen," one girl cooed as she reached up atop Tsukune's head to scratch the aforementioned part. Every word tickled his ear with the warmth of her breath, and the human's face burned red.

"He's adorable! What's his name?" Asked another girl who was resting her arms on Tsukune's shoulders as she stared up at the arachnid.

"I, uh, think this one was... Ken? Sure, let's go with that," Tsukune said as beads of sweat rolled down his forehead. There were two more of his female classmates standing on their tip-toes in front of him to better pet the spider on his head, both of them either unaware or uncaring that they were practically shoving their breasts into his face. "These aren't really my spiders; Ranma keeps them."

Kurumu had briefly left him at the entrance of the cafeteria, having found that Moka and Yukari hadn't arrived yet. The moment she was gone the four girls appeared as if from ambush, apparently enraptured by the hairy creature squatting on his head.

"What do you feed it?" asked the first girl, moving just close enough that one of her breasts brushed against Tsukune's arm.

"W-Well, I guess I've s-seen it eating roaches, mostly," Tsukune stuttered, wondering when his friends were going to hurry up and arrive. Not that he particularly wanted Moka to see him with a bunch of strangers hanging off of him, but at the moment he was too terrified to so much as move a muscle and his body was cramping up. "Again, Ranma is the one who takes care of them."

"You know, I always thought about getting one of these, but the dorms don't allow pets! Where do you keep him?"

"Er... that's actually k-kind of a point of contention right now," Tsukune admitted, his eyes darting rapidly from side to side.

"What do you mean?" One girl asked curiously.

"Well... not everybody's a fan of huge, hairy, poisonous things crawling all over their bedrooms," Tsukune hedged, stopping just short of admitting that he was among them.

"Are you serious? Who doesn't like spiders?" asked the first girl while tickling the arachnid's legs.

"I dunno, maybe they're allergic? To the hair? Or maybe the venom?" another schoolgirl guessed while shrugging.

Tsukune was saved from having to answer further questions when he saw the front door to the cafeteria open up to reveal a far more familiar group of schoolgirls. "Oh! Moka! Hi! Sorry girls, I've gotta go now! Excuse me!"

"Awwww..." the girls pouted as Tsukune managed to squeeze out from between them, rushing as fast as he could toward his friends without disturbing the creature on his head too much.


"Hey! Who were those girls back there?" Kurumu demanded as Tsukune reached them, his face flushed.

"I don't really know them; they were just fawning over the spider, that's all," the human insisted.

Moka looked mildly interested in the arachnid as she looked it over, and Tsukune noted with great interest that Yukari grimaced.

"Why do you have that... THING on your head?" the witch asked in annoyance.

"He kind of just ended up there," Tsukune said, "and he hasn't moved in almost twenty minutes, so I guess he likes it up there. He's Ranma's."

The young witch shook her head. "Ugh. I can understand the utility of keeping and training such creatures, but you shouldn't WEAR them."

Moka turned to the young witch as they all moved to get in line for food. "Do you not like spiders, Yukari?"

Kurumu snickered. "I could see that. She's probably small enough that some of the bigger ones might mistake her for food."

"Hey! That's not true!" Yukari said angrily. "And what about you?"

Kurumu shrugged as she got a tray and started piling food onto it. "What about me? I think it's adorable."

"You didn't think that the huge spider in the well was adorable," Yukari pointed out as she got her own meal.

Kurumu's smirk turned into a frown. "They're not cute anymore when they get that big... and when they're trying to kill you."

"Well, now you know how I feel," Yukari retorted, sticking her tongue out at the succubus and incidentally confirming Kurumu's earlier assumption to be true.

"I guess I don't understand what the big deal is," Moka said as she carried her tray to a table, leading the others. "Aren't there spiders all over outside?"

"Tch! You really DON'T understand!" Kurumu chided as she sat down across from the vampiress, making sure she got the seat closest to Tsukune. "It's not about the spiders themselves! Training nice, obedient pets like this is proof of Tsukune's ability as a leader and a family man!" She promptly nuzzled the boy's shoulder, idly patting the giant spider on its back. "You'll be a great father for our children, right Tsukune?"

"Erm... like I said, I didn't-" the hapless human was interrupted as Yukari snorted.

"I fail to see how keeping a few filthy arthropods in line qualifies one as a father," Yukari deadpanned between mouthfuls.

Moka chuckled uncertainly. "Well, I... suppose it doesn't hurt, right?"


Tsukune mostly tried to tune out the girls as they started discussing the psychological indicators of spider husbandry in more detail, and as his eyes wandered the cafeteria he happened to notice a familiar face passing by behind him and heading to a table off in the corner.

"Hey, it's Kouma! Gamaroshi, over here!" Tsukune called, seeing the hellhound and welcoming an easy chance to change the topic at hand.

Kouma halted in his tracks, and he raised an eyebrow upon seeing some kid he vaguely remembered seeing before waving at him from a table.

Not having anything better to do, he wandered closer to the boy and frowned at him. "Do I know you?"

"Of course you do! Remember? You threatened to beat me up for treating you like a dog once!" Tsukune said, beckoning the shaggy-haired boy over.

Kouma's brow furrowed as he walked right up behind Tsukune. "That doesn't really narrow it down much..."

Tsukune turned back to the girls and gestured to the new arrival. "Everyone, this is Gamaroshi Kouma! He's Ranma's partner in the fight club!"

Kouma's face darkened immediately. "Oh. Now I remember you. Saotome's friend. What do you want?" He stared down at the top of Tsukune's head for a few seconds, and then poked the tarantula resting there. "And what's with the creepy headgear?"

"P-Please don't disturb him too much," Tsukune stuttered before turning to the girls. "Let me introduce you! This is Akashiya Moka, Sendo Yukari, and she's Kurono Kurumu! Say hi everyone!"

Nobody said hi, and Kouma shifted uncomfortably as three pairs of eyes silently judged him. "What?"

"Did you really attack Tsukune?" Kurumu said warningly, holding her love's arm tighter as if to protect him.

"I was just gonna rough him up a little for treatin' me like a dog. I wasn't gonna injure him or anything," Kouma protested. "Anyway, I'm gonna go-"

"No! No! Have a seat!" Tsukune said happily, pulling the hellhound down onto the bench next to him. "Ranma will be here soon anyway!"

Kouma's bushy eyebrows twitched in annoyance. "That's just... swell."

"Tell us all about the fight club! What kind of stuff do you guys get into?" Tsukune asked, hoping to strike up a lasting conversation with the boy. Truthfully, he still wasn't completely comfortable being surrounded by girls frequently, and his nervousness escalated considerably when the topic was how good a father or husband he would be.

Kouma, for his part, was completely perplexed that someone would ask him to stick around just for conversation. At best he was rather apathetic company, and much more often he was pointlessly rude and defensive. What did Tsukune want with him?

"Look, if you want to know about fight club, just ask Saotome, all right? I don't want to be around when he gets here," the hellhound murmured.

"What's your problem with Ranma?" Kurumu asked, inadvertently drawing Kouma into a topic of interest.

"What's my problem with him? My problem is that he's a self-absorbed, neurotic jackass!" the hot-tempered monster growled, slamming his tray down onto the table and finally sitting down properly.

Moka's eyebrow arched, and she suddenly looked far more interested. "Well, sure, but what did he do to you personally?"

Kouma bit off a chunk of ham from his plate, and then gulped it down as his fury rose. "Well, for STARTERS, that nitwit jumped me in the forest and beat me unconscious, and then tried to make me his pet!"

Yukari blinked in surprise. "Really? He took you as a familiar?"

"I SAID he jumped me and beat me unconscious!" Kouma snarled, his eyes flaring crimson. "In what world does that make me his servant?"

Yukari seemed to be unfazed by the hellhound's rage. "Actually, that's a perfectly valid way of acquiring a servant in most monsters' cultures, and even some older human ones. In fact, I believe that hellhounds tend to-"

"HEY!" Kouma shouted, slamming a fist into the table and causing the others except Yukari to wince. "Whose side are you on, anyway?"

"Well, I'm on Senpai's side, of course," Yukari deadpanned. "If you ask me, it seems like all your hostility toward him is just simple envy and resentment because he's stronger than you."

Wham! Kouma slammed his other fist onto the table as he stood up. "What'd you say, runt?" he demanded through clenched teeth.

"Not that anything you said about him is wrong!" Moka pointed out, nodding rapidly. "And really, what right does he have to run around subduing random students to make into familiars?"

"Yeah! I'm right, aren't-" Kouma immediately rounded on Moka. "Hey! I am NOT his familiar!"

"Well, not a very good one," Kurumu mumbled, rolling her eyes. "Most familiars have that nasty temper hammered out of them fairly early. Then again, I guess that's Ranma's fault for not keeping a tight leash on you."

"STOP TREATING ME LIKE A DOG!" Kouma shouted, rounding on the succubus as small flames puffed from his mouth.

"It's just an expression! Please, calm down!" Tsukune begged as the fire blasted in front of him, agitating the giant spider still sitting atop his hair. "Nobody's calling you a dog!"

"But he IS a dog," Yukari pointed out.

"Well, sure, but that doesn't mean you can treat me like some human world terrier!" Kouma snapped, sitting back down as his rage returned to a slow boil. "I come from a long line of mighty warrior hounds and honored guardians! I'm not going to let anyone treat me like a pet!"

Tsukune frowned. "You know... if you just... well... followed the rules and didn't reveal your species, that wouldn't even be a problem. Nobody could tell that you're a hellhound if you didn't run around in monster form or tell people."

Kouma's anger dissipated and he blinked. Twice. "Huh." Then he put down his chopsticks and started rubbing his chin while staring at the ceiling. "You know... I never thought of it that way. Is THAT why they have that stupid rule?"

"No, they have it so that people will act human, moron," Yukari snapped. "But if you're going to get all worked up over people making fun of your species, then it's a nice unintended consequence, don't you think?"

Kouma snorted disdainfully at the young witch, but Tsukune turned toward her. "You know, the same thing applies to you, Yukari. If people didn't know you were a witch, they wouldn't have an excuse to mistreat you all the time."

"Don't put me in the same category as the hellmutt!" Yukari snapped, turning up her nose as she chomped on a sausage. "I don't care about people's stupid prejudices. Besides..." she tugged on the rim of her pointed hat. "The hat stays."


"Izzat them?"

"How the hell should I know? I've only seen these people in stick figure form!"

"Well, I know that the short stick figure drawing had a pointy hat, and the short one here has a pointy hat. I'm pretty sure three out of the four stick figures were girls, too, so those numbers match up."

"There are two guys, though. Nobody said anything about two guys. Guys are tougher than girls, you know."

"That's sexist!"

"No, that's a biological fact. This next bit is sexist: girls are also dumber than guys, so we should be able to catch them easily if we distract them with a shoe sale or something."

The shaggy-haired Enforcer remained quiet as his three compatriots continued arguing, and he scanned the room to gauge the scene. Most of the students in the cafeteria had noticed the Enforcer squad arriving, and most of those that didn't had noticed them mumbling amongst themselves while in a loose huddle. The cafeteria was emptying rapidly as most of the student body guessed correctly that the student police squad hadn't come for breakfast. The group that his teammates were discussing were one of the few clusters of people that hadn't noticed them at all.

"Hah... this is pointless," the white-haired boy sighed before suddenly slapping one of the other Enforcers in the arm to get his attention. "Hey, Saotome is pretty well-known, right? Then why don't we just ASK if those are his associates? We do have authority around here, you know."

The tall, lanky Enforcer raised an eyebrow. "Boy Scout over here's got a point. We're making this way harder than it needs to be."

"Let's go," the shortest boy said, his gloomy eyes narrowing as he started walking toward the table where their suspected targets were.

"Wha... wait... where..." the so-called "Boy Scout" watched in confusion as his companions marched right up behind the group they were spying on and tapped the shorter boy of the group on the shoulder.

Tsukune turned around, noticing that there were four people in black uniforms with Enforcer bands on their sleeves. "Yes? Can I help you?"

The largest of the enforcers stepped forward while cracking his knuckles. "Are you all associates of Ranma Saotome?"

The shaggy-haired Enforcer face palmed as all five targets immediately went on their guard, clearly aware that something was wrong. "I'm surrounded by idiots..."


Seeing that the newcomers were clearly spoiling for a fight, Tsukune glanced left and right, taking stock of their defenses. Kurumu had turned around on the bench to face the Enforcers, and had then started filing her nails... which had grown to almost six inches in preparation for battle. On the other side of him, Kouma was glaring at the intruders in annoyance, and although he hadn't put down his chopsticks, Tsukune could see a thin line of smoke rising up from where he was holding the cheap wooden utensils. Yukari, likewise, seemed prepared for things to get ugly, and she was inspecting some of her razor-edged magic cards. Besides that, Ranma was going to be arriving sooner or later, which made the odds of survival very strong if they could stall long enough.

"Ranma Saotome? Why? Is there something wrong?" the human finally responded, wondering if there was any quick path to get out of arms' reach of the Enforcer in front of him. These sorts of encounters usually began with him being hauled up into the air by his shirt collar, and he only had three undamaged shirts left.

"Just answer the question, meatbag!" rasped the shortest enforcer. "You know him or not?"

"Yes, we know him," Kouma growled, turning his head just enough to glare at the Enforcers with one eye. "So what do you clowns want, anyway? We were kind of in the middle of a conversation, here."

'Okay, note to self: try to keep the hellhound from talking,' Tsukune thought to himself. 'I just hope his bark isn't worse than his bite.' He hesitated for a second. 'Additional note to self: never speak that term aloud in Kouma's presence. I don't really want to find out first-hand.'

"What has Ranma done, and what does it have to do with us?" Moka demanded, her delicate features twisted into a frown.

"Chill your pretty pink head, bloodsucker," demanded the tall, lanky boy, "we're asking the questions here."

"Okay..." Tsukune mumbled. "So... what else do you want to know?"

There was a long silence as the three Enforcers stared blankly at their targets, broken only by a frustrated groan from a fourth Enforcer standing behind them and trying to fight the urge to cry.

"Erm... well, I guess the next question would be if any of you would mind coming with us to be imprisoned without charge," the lanky Enforcer said uncertainly, feeling a bit confused.

"Ah. Well, I guess the next answer would be 'no'," Kurumu said promptly, holding out a hand and admiring the lengthened nails.

"It's not exactly a choice," the short thug admitted. "We're acting under the authority of the Enforcers, here."

"Then why did you phrase it as one?" Yukari deadpanned.

"All right, I've had enough!" the shaggy-haired boy suddenly shouted, causing the others to jump.

He marched up to Tsukune and then planted his hands on his hips as he glared at the students they had been sent to subdue. "Listen up, punks! I don't want to do this, but we have our orders to capture Saotome's friends to be used as hostages against him in a future arrest! For the sake of bringing him to justice, you will be coming with us! Preferably without resisting, but we are authorized to subdue you with force if necessary!"

"EXCUSE ME?" Kouma suddenly said dangerously, his eyes narrowing as he stood up and glowered at the Enforcers. "Did you just say you were gonna capture Saotome's friends to use in some cowardly plan to off him? In the name of justice?"

Kouma's chopsticks burned to ashes in his grip as he stared balefully at the uniformed students, and they all shrunk back slightly.

"Y... Y... Yes?" the white-haired boy said, trying to keep his voice steady before the intimidating hellhound.

"Gotcha. Then this has nothing to do with me," Kouma said suddenly as he picked up his tray from the tabletop. "See you around, Aono. Assuming you survive, of course."

Tsukune blanched as he watched the larger boy walk past the Enforcers. "Hey, wait! Are you really gonna leave us like this?"

Kouma didn't look back as he replied. "None of my business. If you want my advice, just let 'em take you. I seriously doubt a lame plan like that is going to work against Saotome anyway, and if you don't resist you might get to finish your breakfast. Later."


As the Enforcers turned back toward the group - looking noticeably relieved - Tsukune did some grim calculations in his mind. Not only was Kouma probably the strongest of everyone here, but without his help they were left with Kurumu as the only remaining fighter of any significant power. He imagined Yukari could help out somehow, but he doubted she would last long in a brawl, and he and Moka were both just as helpless.

He didn't want to surrender, especially since he knew it would put Ranma in danger, but how to get away? If only they had some kind of diversion...

Yukari blinked as Tsukune suddenly reached over and grabbed one of the magic cards she had arrayed on the table.

"Sorry, I'm borrowing this!" he said before he took out a pen and quickly scribbled something on it.

"All right, that's enough kids," said the large Enforcer as they advanced on their victims. "Time to put up your hands and-"

"DISTRACTION!" Tsukune yelled suddenly as he thrust the card out in front of him, causing the four thugs to stop in their tracks as they read what was on it.

"What, seriously? This is your diversion tactic?" the lanky boy said as he snorted. "How is the word 'meow' supposed to-"

His sentence was promptly cut short by a face full of angry spider as the tarantula on Tsukune's head leapt toward its new prey with a feral hiss, landing on the Enforcer's face.

"The hell! Get it off! OW!" the knife-user howled as he flailed his arms, stumbling into the short boy and knocking them both onto the floor.

"Let's go! Run!" Tsukune shouted as he dashed for the exit.

The largest Enforcer moved to grab him, but pain suddenly blossomed from his side as Kurumu darted in and slashed at his flank before kicking him hard in the ankle.

The shaggy-haired boy was too stunned by the sudden chaos to react immediately, and was even more stunned when a metal wash bin suddenly fell onto his head from nowhere. Clang!

"Get offa me, moron!" yelled the short Enforcer as he pushed the taller one off of himself, idly noting that the giant spider had jumped off the man's face after losing interest in the assault. "They're getting away!"

"After them!" the shaggy-haired boy shouted as he rubbed his head.

"The spider! Did anyone see where that damn spider went?" growled the knife-user, his face swollen and red from several fresh bites.

"Forget the spider, idiot! Get a move on!" demanded the largest of the group as he limped toward the exit, holding his side.

"This is the worst plan EVER!"

'Well, it seems like phase one is right on schedule,' thought Haruo as he strolled toward the main dorm complex, his hands in his pockets.

With a bunch of helpless weaklings soon to be in the palms of his hands, it was time to move to phase two; Ranma had to be informed of his friends' plight and then summarily executed.

Phase three mostly involved parties and hitting on the captured schoolgirls.

'But how to approach him,' the gargoyle considered, stopping in a small, sparsely wooded space littered with picnic tables and spider webs. 'I don't really want to go up to his room himself. I still don't know exactly what room it is, and if I guess the right one, it might be full of spiders.'

He grimaced at the thought. He normally didn't care one way or the other about arachnids, but having one bite him in the face and another boss him around had generated quite a bit of antipathy for the creatures.

"Stupid, filthy, oversized mosquito-eaters," Haruo grumbled before kicking a log attached to one of the larger webs, causing the entire thing to wobble and twitch.

There was an egg-shaped cocoon about the size of a child attached to the web further up, but Haruo completely dismissed it as unimportant as he went back to scheming.

'I could go looking for him myself, but we might miss each other... also, he might simply knock me out as soon as he sees me, before I get a chance to explain that he's not supposed to.'

He snapped his fingers. "I know! I'll just force some random schmuck to find him and tell him to meet me here!"

Haruo started looking around the area, frowning as he saw that the entire region was curiously barren and utterly devoid of students. "That's weird. It's almost time for classes to start, right?" He didn't really know, as he hadn't been to class since he became an Enforcer - Kuyo mandated that all Enforcers receive passing marks by default in their classes so that they could "go about maintaining order without distraction or conflict" - but it seemed like exactly the time of day when the areas between the school building and the dorms should be getting the most foot traffic.

He grimaced as he scanned left and right, and then he eventually spotted a large, solitary figure strolling to the main building in the distance, one hand in his pocket and a book bag slung over one shoulder.

"Hey! You! You there! By the authority of the Enforcers, I command you to halt!"

The rather large student stopped in his tracks at the command, and then turned to look at Haruo while pointing to himself.

"Yes! You! Come here! I have a task that requires your attention!" Haruo called, crossing his arms over his chest.

The student shrugged and started jogging over to him. As he approached, Haruo noted with some unease that he recognized this particular student.

'Chopper Rikishi? Damn! Another troublemaker that has yet to be put in his place!' Haruo seethed. Chopper held no particular grudges against the Enforcers, but was known to be a brawler who fought the strongest monsters he could find simply to prove himself in combat. It was also known that he was currently aiming to fight and defeat Kuyo himself, the leader of the Enforcers and one of the most powerful monsters at Youkai Academy.

'This could be tough. Rikishi isn't going to be easily intimidated, and I don't think I'd last thirty seconds against him. Maybe I'd better find someone else...'

He cleared his throat as the wrestler finally stopped within spitting distance of the Enforcer.

"Yo. What'cha want?" Chopper asked, running a hand over his greased hair with his free hand.

"I was just wondering why there were so few students on their way to class," Haruo said, clasping his hands behind his back. "Mass truancy leads to widespread delinquency. It's unacceptable for the students to be so lax," he declared imperiously.

"They're not skippin'. They're taking a different route after all the attacks that have been happening recently," Chopper explained, shrugging his massive shoulders.

Haruo blinked. "Attacks? What?"

"They say a huge spider's been attacking people around this area. Nobody knows if it's a student or an overgrown beast or what, but most people avoid this path now. I can take care of myself, so I don't care." Then he frowned. "Wait, so you haven't heard about any of this? Shouldn't the Enforcers be takin' care of this sort of thing?"

"The Enforcers will move out when it has been deemed necessary to do so!" Haruo snapped. "Obviously, this is no real threat, or we would have already mobilized!"

Chopper looked doubtful. "Well, okay, but I still think you should've known about it, at least..."

"Anyway, since there's nobody else around, I require a favor of you, Rikishi," Haruo said, making sure his tone wasn't too condescending. "Do you think you could locate Ranma Saotome within short order?"

"Saotome? Yeah, sure. Why?" the troll asked.

"I need you to inform him that his friends are in danger, and he needs to see me immediately," Haruo continued, his mouth curling into a smirk. "I will wait here for him. After you retrieve him, you may go about your business."

"Ooh, that does sound important. All right," Chopper agreed, turning around and jogging back toward the dorms.

Then he slid to a stop and glanced over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow. "So, you gonna be okay here on your own? You think you can beat the spider by yourself?"

"Why is it always spiders?" Haruo mumbled as he rolled his eyes. "I'll be fine! You just do your job, all right?"

Chopper didn't look convinced, but continued on his way anyhow. "All right, if you're sure! Just watch the stinger, man! Looks nasty!"


Haruo's brow furrowed as he watched the wrestler dash off into the distance, puzzling over his words. "A stinger? What? What is he..." he glanced over his shoulder.

Enormous scythe-tipped legs scuttled across the ground with mind-boggling stealth, carrying a massive body sheathed in a rock-hard carapace of mottled gray chitin. Gleaming black orbs like spheres of ebony decorated the creature's head, and Haruo could see his face paling in the reflection cast within them as a pair of dripping, pincer-like fangs lunged for him.

"WHOA!" the Enforcer took to the air without hesitation, trying to jump far enough to release his wings and fly away, but while he managed to dodge the massive spider's mandibles he ended up getting rammed by its head and crashed to the ground several meters away.

"Wh-What is this? How the hell does something that big sneak up on people?" Haruo cried as he shifted to gargoyle form without delay, his form growing substantially as his smooth human flesh was replaced by a tough, granite-rough hide and pair of large, bat-like wings sprouted from his back.

The gigantic spider stalked forward carefully, not getting too close as its prey scrambled to its feet. After a few seconds of sizing up its newfound food, the enormous arachnid started to walk sideways to circle around the gargoyle, effectively blocking off the clearest path to the safety of the school buildings.

Haruo, being a flier, didn't care. "Screw this! I'm outta here!" he declared, leaping upward with all his might and flapping his mighty wings.

His arachnoid foe seemed to have an appropriate response, and the Enforcer's eyes widened as the spider spat a thick wad of pearly film that spread apart in the air to become a net too wide for him to avoid.

"Gyack! Hey!" Haruo shouted as the sticky netting wrapped around him, and he quickly found that flapping his wings was becoming increasingly harder as the threads stuck to each other and got tangled. "No no no nononono NOOOOOOOO!"

Wham! Haruo grunted painfully as he made an unwilling landing, hitting the ground with his arm and then rolling haphazardly across the ground and through the dry, leafless foliage that made up most of the terrain surrounding Youkai Academy.

On the plus side, the relatively thin airborne webbing mostly tore itself apart in the impact, and Haruo managed to rip his arms and legs free with ease as he got to his feet, although his wings were still gummed up good.

"Damn it, I've got to get away!" Haruo growled as he glanced behind him, gauging how much distance he had put between him and the gigantic spider.

He failed to ascertain that information because the gigantic spider wasn't behind him.

"Hah? Where'd it go?" Haruo asked, glancing around and failing to spot the beast. He had managed to get some distance away before he had been hit, but had been moving away from the main path rather than toward it. As a result he had landed deeper into the sparse and mostly dead forestland.

"What? Did it give up?" the gargoyle asked nervously, spinning around and around to try and keep himself aware of all sides at all times. However, no matter how much he searched around him, he couldn't see anything except dead trees, sheets of spider webbing, and a few rock outcroppings...

Haruo froze, and his blood ran cold as he stared at the numerous piles of large, granite boulders. Some of them were partially buried, some of them were stacked together like someone had been playing with them, and a few had been reduced to gray rubble, but every one of them could conceivably hide his alarmingly stealthy predator.

He remained absolutely still for a long time, the seconds stretching into minutes, before a barely perceptible scratching noise made him spin around wildly.

Several dry leaves bounced over the surface of a mass of granite, being blown by the cool morning wind. There wasn't so much as a twitch among the boulders themselves, though.

Haruo whirled about once more, his eyes glancing back and forth frantically as he checked each outcropping against his sketchy memory, trying to determine if any of them were closer than they used to be.

'Damn it... damn it... damn it...' his mental mantra repeated over and over as his heart thundered in his ears, which only made him MORE nervous as he considered that his panic might cause him to miss any sounds of his unexpected foe.

'My wings! If I can free my wings...' well, honestly all it would really do is force the spider to reveal its location in order to immobilize him again, but Haruo figured it was better than standing shock-still in the forest until he died of a heart attack.

Grunting painfully, he bent over as he stretched his wings over his head, the muscles in his back cramping painfully in the uncomfortable position as tried to scrape away the webbing with his claws.

Sktch! Sktch!

"GYAAA!" Haruo screamed as he heard a louder scratching noise from somewhere around him, and promptly fell over forward, twisting his body on the ground to glance around himself with wide, panicked eyes.

"That was way too loud to be the wind! I know you're out there! Stop messing with me, already!" the gargoyle demanded fiercely even as his body shivered from fear.

Only silence greeted his demands, and another gust of wind blowing through the area stuck a few leaves onto his wings, still wrapped as they were in gluey webbing.

"Sniffle..." a teardrop ran down the side of Haruo's rough, gritty cheek as the last of his resolve crumbled, and he at last stooped to the very last resort available to one of the mighty Youkai Enforcers.

"SOMEBODY! ANYBODY! HEEEEEEELP!"

"Moka, quick! Did we lose them yet?" Tsukune asked as he dashed around a corner, barely avoiding a random student as he moved back into a full sprint. Yukari was running alongside him, the fourteen year-old panting pathetically as she tried to keep up with the others.

Moka and Kurumu, being far more athletically inclined, were already several meters ahead, and Tsukune suspected that the only reason they hadn't left them and the pursuers in the dust was so that he and Yukari wouldn't be caught alone.

Moka glanced behind her briefly, and though she couldn't see the four Enforcers who were chasing them, she could hear the shouts and complaints of the numerous students filing into their classrooms as the four imbeciles barreled through them.

"We haven't lost them yet! Tsukune, what should we do?" Moka asked, glancing around for anything that could help.

"Let's duck into a classroom! Those idiots will pass us right by!" Kurumu suggested as she dodged to the side, almost smashing into Miss Nekonome.

"Not a chance! The hall is full of people to tell them where we went! We'll be trapped!" retorted Yukari.

"Then we have to get outside!" Tsukune decided. "Maybe we can outmaneuver them!"


After rounding another corner, Tsukune shouted, "Where's the nearest exit? Hurry!"

A few students nearby seemed startled and confused as the four fleeing teenagers skidded to a stop, and for a few seconds nobody said anything.

"It's right over there," said a hollow, wizened voice that immediately sent chills down Tsukune's spine.

He slowly turned toward the speaker, and then saw that Professor Richard was pointing nonchalantly toward a rather inconspicuous door next to the stairwell.

"Is... Is that really the way out?" Tsukune asked, understandably suspicious.

"Yes!" Richard confirmed. "However, there's a problem with the door. It seems someone covered it with impenetrable ice."

Kurumu raised an eyebrow. "It looks fine to me."

Richard turned sharply toward the doorway in question, and his eyes narrowed. "You're right."

SSSSHNK! A beam of luminescent blue burst from Richard's hand, and the four fugitives gaped as the exit was covered with a sheet of thick, nigh-impenetrable ice.

"There! All better!"

"Why did you do that?" Moka cried, turning back toward the warlock with everyone else. "We're trapped!"

"What? Was that your only viable escape route?" Richard asked, his eyebrows rising hopefully.

"Yes! Those Enforcer goons will be here any second!" Tsukune explained angrily.

"And do they intend to do you harm?" Richard asked, clasping his hands together in joy.

"YES! Who knows what kind of damage those idiots will cause?" Yukari shouted.

"Is there a chance that innocents might be caught in the crossfire?" Richard asked gleefully, rubbing his hands together as he practically bounced from foot to foot.

Nobody bothered to answer him this time, and Tsukune massaged his forehead as he grimaced. "Okay... we need a new plan."

"Hope that plan involves unconditional surrender, punk! Otherwise you're coming with us with a few new breathing holes stabbed in ya!"


As Richard backed away and many of the surrounding student body rushed out of the area or into the nearby classrooms for cover, Tsukune and the others were completely unsurprised to see the four Enforcers slowing to a walk as they turned the last corner.

"All right, enough messin' around!" shouted the tall, lanky goon as his form began to glow. "In the interest of keeping the peace, Enforcers are permitted to reveal their monster forms in order to exact justice! You're in for it now!"

As the light covered him entirely, the boy's head swelled up to absurd proportions, and bits of hay stuck out from his sleeves and from under his pants' legs. When it faded, his entire head had been replaced by a large pumpkin with a face cut into it, complete with two glowing lights in the eyes that leered out at its prey.

The boy with shaggy hair shifted more completely, falling over onto all fours as hair covered every inch of his body and great feathered wings burst out of his back. Bony spikes shout out of the sides of his head and curled into the shape of a ram's horns even as a crescent moon appeared on his forehead. After the light subsided, he resembled a strange white dog with ram's horns and wings.

The large Enforcer, who was panting from the effort of keeping up with the others, simply seemed to grow bigger, and his wrinkled skin morphed into tough bark as muscled limbs became thick, sturdy segments of tree trunks. His face grew more boxy and solid as it turned into what appeared to be a crude mouth and eyes carved into a block of wood, and a single leaf grew out of the back of his head like a ponytail.

The small Enforcer underwent the most radical transformation, his body seeming to collapse completely within a murky black fog and then assemble itself from glowing shards of matter. It was hard to make any sense of what little they could see of the process, but by the end of it the boy had clearly become some sort of man-sized dragon creature, or at least the skeletal remains of one. Twin red orbs shimmered brightly from within the creature's bleached skull, and short, useless bone wings stuck out from its spine.

"Enforcers..." started the pumpkin-headed lantern as twin daggers slid out of his sleeves, "ATTACK!"

"Hi everyone! It's that time again! And we have so much to do this time, too!" Miss Nekonome said cheerfully as she bounced happily to one side of a large chalkboard. "Today we're going to discuss Netherworld monsters!"

The nekomata pointed to a chalk drawing of Earth which had a large slash under it, which separated it from a large circle with a skull symbol in the middle.

"Netherworld creatures are somewhat rare in Youkai Academy! This is not because there's any shortage of them in general, but rather because they have their own world and don't have to co-exist with humans if they don't want to!" Shizuka said, nodding seriously. "Because the Netherworld is a separate dimension where only departed spirits and a few unlucky plot-centric humans end up, attitudes toward humans are very different there! Humans are considered more of a casual curiosity rather than a threat, and generally they find themselves treated just the same as the monsters! Of course, this still means they're quite likely to find themselves ripped apart and eaten, but only because of the natural order of the food chain rather than stubborn racism."

Shizuka tapped the picture of Earth. "The Netherworld monsters that end up on Earth are usually only the weakest individuals of their kind, or sometimes the family of a monster whose company ended up relocating him to Earth; Apple in particular seems to be moving a lot of their personnel from the dark, slimy hell-pits from which they spawned. In either case, the monsters end up having to assimilate like all the native creatures."

Miss Nekonome moved on to the next series of drawings, each of one vaguely resembling an Enforcer's monster form. "The pumpkin-headed kid is a lantern-type monster, which are known for their wizardry with knives. The skeleton is a zombie dragon, whose usual breath weapon has been replaced by a corrosive mist that weakens its victims. The flying dog is a holy dragon, mostly known for actually NOT being evil - it's really rare in the Netherworld - but also having several magical powers. And finally the wood guy is a tree golem, most well-known for NOT being able to run very fast. And... also I guess he's really strong or something. That doesn't really get a lot of street cred around here."

She shrugged. "Such monsters make excellent minion material, as they come from a world where haphazard violence and physical dominance is equivalent to the law. Most of them find even the small aspects of civilization in Earth's monster realm, such as a healthy respect for mortality and a wide selection of evil masters to choose from, a welcome boon from the chaotic drudgery of the Netherworld. And if they don't, who cares? Not me!"

Shizuka waved happily. "That's all for now! See you next time!"

"Wait... Wait you guys... haaah..." the tree golem gasped as he very nearly collapsed where he stood. "Out of... huff... breath... gimme a sec... huff... to photosynthesize a bit..."

"We're inside, numbnuts. There's no sunlight!" snapped the zombie dragon.

The lantern tsked as he flipped his switchblade around his fingers, the blade making wide silvery arcs in the air. "Whatever. Just park your wooden ass there and keep 'em from escaping, would ya?" the pumpkin-headed monster demanded. "And fer Laharl's sake, go jogging once in a while or something! I've seen zombies that can keep a sprint longer'n you!"

The holy dragon snorted as he floated above the ground, his great white wings flapping majestically. "I'm sorry that it had to come to this, but if you surrender, then I can promise you won't be harmed."

Tsukune grit his teeth as he glanced behind him, and noted that Kurumu and Yukari looked ready to fight. But even assuming that either of them were a match for any one of the Enforcers opposing them...

The human boy happened to glance over to where Richard was sitting on a fold-out chair with a small bag of popcorn - he had no idea how the warlock was eating, what with that cowl over his mouth, though - and suddenly he got an idea.

"All right. I guess we have no choice," Tsukune sighed, his shoulders slumping.

"What? We're giving up?" Kurumu asked, surprised. "But we didn't even do anything! Why should we have to go with them?"

"I know that they're supposed to be the law around here, but that doesn't give them the right to do something as dirty and underhanded as this!" Yukari growled.

Moka, as usual, seemed intent on calming conflict, and gently came in on Tsukune's side. "It's all right you guys; we don't have any options. We can't win, but I'm..." she seemed to hesitate, and her mouth twisted into a frown at the reluctance of her next words. "I'm... sure Ranma will come through for us."

The holy dragon breathed a sigh of relief as he realized that there would be no violence. "You're making a wise decision."

"So... there's not going to be a fight?" asked Richard, bits of popcorn falling from between his fingers as his hand froze on the way up to his mouth.

Tsukune shook his head with exaggerated regret. "No, I suppose not. We don't stand a chance against four of these guys. Against THREE, maybe, considering that the big one can barely move, but-"

The holy dragon's eyes widened as he saw the science teacher suddenly thrust a palm in his direction, eldritch energies being summoned from beyond the veil to wrap around the warlock's ancient fingers.

"Hey! Wait! Stop, I'm-"

BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM! A black beam of pure destruction manifest surged toward the holy dragon, and both the zombie dragon and the lantern leapt clear as their doomed companion's body was shadowed spectacularly before the mighty river of darkness.

"I NEVER GOT TO SEE PARIS!!" the holy dragon cried before his body crumbled away, disintegrating into the air before the onslaught of power.


"Fantastic! Tsukune, you're a genius!" Kurumu gushed happily as her morale surged, and her wings and tail sprouted immediately in preparation for violence. "We have a fighting chance, now!"

Tsukune stared wide-eyed at the black streak on the floor which was all that remained of what was once a living, breathing, relatively intelligent creature. "I... I just got that person killed," he mumbled as the understanding at what he had just done overwhelmed him.

"I know! I hate to admit it, but I'm actually impressed, Aono!" Yukari shouted as she drew her wand and jabbed it at a supply closet. "You just might be fit to lick Ranma's shoes clean after all!"

At the gesture, the locker burst open and several brooms, mops, and buckets all flew through the air before plowing into the skeletal dragon, who had already gotten to his feet and was preparing to charge.

"Ow! Hey! Quit it!" the undead beast snarled as it swung its head left and right, trying to batter its way through the tools as it pushed forward.

"You think we'll let you get away with killing what's-his-face?" the lantern demanded as he flipped to his feet, hurling a knife at the shell-shocked Tsukune.

Clang! Kurumu swatted the blade out of the air with her claws before she darted toward the pumpkin-headed fighter. "No, but I'm pretty sure Professor Richard will..." Another slash of her claws was deftly blocked by the lantern, although the knife-fighter hopped back warily to get some space.

"He's dead... because of me..." Tsukune mumbled, rubbing his head as his eyes stared into space. Moka gently took him by the shoulders and shook him a bit, but his body just wobbled back and forth like it was made of rubber.

Clack! "Gah! Dammit!" the zombie dragon cursed as one of the brooms slipped between his ribs at an angle, wedging against his spine and sticking out right in the way of his leg. "You won't get away with that, brat!"

"Take a card! Any card!" Yukari said mockingly as she fanned out several large tarot cards in one hand before hurling them like shuriken toward her chosen opponent.

Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! "Gwaaarugh!" a howl of pain came from the undead beast's dusty throat as the razor-edged projectiles struck his head, each one solidly embedding itself in the bone of his skull.

Twang! Skritch! The lantern's switchblades lashed forward like lightning, but Kurumu's long, bladed nails parried every attack, her greater strength and speed allowing her to hold out against the Enforcer's weapons.

Clangk! A particularly strong swipe managed to slice into the lantern's hand, and as he yelped and dropped one of his weapons, Kurumu lined up a kick straight between his legs.

Shuff! The succubus blinked when her foot sunk rather deeply into the lantern's groin without meeting any hard resistance or eliciting the expected scream of agony.

"He was by far the most reasonable of the monsters, too," Tsukune droned, completely oblivious to Moka as she shook him harder.

The lantern's leering mouth grinned wider at Kurumu's expression of surprise. "Ha! When I'm in this form, my junk is just straw! You can't hurt me that way! Ha ha h-"

SKRAK! The pumpkin-headed Enforcer screamed in agony as Kurumu slashed across his face, carving deep gouges into the gourd that substituted for his flesh.

As the lantern fell to the floor in a writhing heap, Kurumu turned to the other active enemy, who was still thrashing about wildly as cleaning equipment battered him from the air.

SNAP! The zombie dragon snarled as the broom in his ribs finally broke apart and tumbled out of him, and then he crashed through the pail and broom that was blocking his way to Yukari, his eyes flaring a brilliant, angry red.

"Hee-yah!" Kurumu's wings flapped mightily as she intercepted the dragon with a flying kick, smashing the undead beast to the side and snapping off one of its clawed forearms from the impact.

"I know I didn't do it myself, but for me to..." Tsukune trailed off as his head swung to and fro painfully, and he finally turned his attention to Moka. "Moka, what is it? I'm trying to have an emotional breakdown, here!"

"Well, I really think we should be looking for another escape route," Moka insisted. "We need to get away, fast!"

Tsukune took a second to bury his guilt, and then glanced over to where Yukari had just managed to fit a large bucket onto the zombie dragon's head while Kurumu slashed and kicked wildly at the hapless pile of bones.

"Why? It looks like we're winning," Tsukune admitted, glancing over to where the lantern was twitching on the ground while teardrops leaked from its massive eye holes. "Actually, we've almost won already. What's the problem?"

Moka gulped and pointed further down the hall. "I think the tree-man finally caught his breath..."

Tsukune flinched as he turned away from the lantern, and he paled as he watched the massive wood golem approach, its features stern and angry.

"The term is tree-PERSON, you ignorant tramp! What is this, 1984?" the golem demanded as he stomped down the hall, his massive hands balled into fists the size of beach balls. "Although, since you asked, I am actually a male."

"We didn't ask!" Kurumu snapped as she dashed away from the zombie dragon and toward the new target, slashing wide for the golem's midsection.

Thanks to her speed the attack struck perfectly, but Kurumu was surprised as her nails barely managed to dig through the surface of the wood golem's bark-like skin, and then got stuck before she could draw them back.

"Hey! What gives?" the succubus complained as the wood golem seized her arm and hefted her up. "I've cut through trees easily before!"

"Yeah, the specimens out here are pretty weedy," the golem said conversationally as he pulled his free arm back.

Whump! Kurumu gasped as the wind was driven out of her stomach from the golem's punch, and she quickly used her own free hand to slash at the arm holding her own.

The wood golem seemed to ignore the attack completely as he reared his fist back again. "The sunlight around here is so poor, ya know? I can't even go power-walking without running out of breath; it's no wonder the normal plant life is so brittle." He drove a second punch into his victim's stomach as he let go of her arm, sending the buxom temptress sailing across the length of the hall before she slammed into the maintenance locker that Yukari had emptied earlier.

Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! The wood golem winced as he felt several of Yukari's razor-edged tarot cards embed themselves into his arm, and he turned slightly to regard the young witch as he flexed his fingers meaningfully.

"Ha! Gotcha!" Yukari cheered as she aimed her wand at the wooden giant, "I can see a chimney in your future, 'cause you're going up in smoke!"

Fwoosh! The golem's eyes widened as the cards burst into flames, and he yelped as he waved his arms around to try and put out the fire.

Yukari looked victorious for a few seconds until she heard the sound of metal hitting the floor tiles, and she turned around just as the zombie dragon opened its jaws in her direction, now free of the bucket that had restrained it.

"Hhhhhaaaaaah..." black mist vomited forth from the dragon's bleached jaws, and Yukari coughed violently as she backed away from the nauseating cloud, eventually backing into a wall.

Wsst! Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! The young witch gulped as three daggers flew through the air and struck close to her arms and between her legs, pinning her sleeves and skirt to the wall behind her.

"You're lucky we need you little punks alive for the plan to work," the lantern snapped as he toyed with another knife in one hand while the other tenderly felt the deep scars in his face, "otherwise I'd chop ya into little bits and bones there would chew you into fertilizer!" then he jabbed a thumb at the wood golem, who was busy putting out his arm. "Which we would then feed to numbnuts over here to get him to shut up about the lack of selection in the cafeteria."

"I simply feel that there should be a sedimentary meal option, that's all," the golem complained as he reduced the flames to a few wisps of smoke at last. "Now let's hurry up and capture them; Haruo could return with Saotome at any moment."


"Well, that went south REAL quick," Tsukune mumbled under his breath as he and Moka stepped back fearfully. 'Gotta think... what tools do we have left?' Granted, all their enemies were injured and he was pretty sure that Kurumu would be good to fight some more once she shook off her dizziness from the last attack, but he still needed some way to stall them...

"Tsukune, what are we going to do?" Moka asked, gripping the human boy's shoulder tightly. "I don't think Ranma will get here in time..."

Suddenly Tsukune stood in front of Moka and spread his arms out, facing the lantern with a smirk on his face.

"Don't worry, Moka! That jackass-o-lantern can't hurt me! You know what kind of monster I am! The moment his knives touch me, he's done for!" the human said haughtily, using every shred of his will to keep his voice from cracking. 'PLEASE let them be stupid enough to fall for this now that the sensible one is gone...'

"Ah! Of... Of course! You have them now!" Moka said, stuttering only a bit at the rather desperate plan.

All three of the Enforcers stopped dead at the declaration, and the pumpkin-headed Enforcer recoiled. "Wh-What? Seriously? You're strong against knives? Damn it!"

The tree golem frowned as the zombie dragon came up behind him. "I don't even think that makes sense. I think he's bluffing."

"No, think about it!" the lantern said as he backed away from Tsukune fearfully. "You know how some fire elementals just get stronger when you hit them with a fire attack, right? I'll bet he's like that!"

A vein popped up on the zombie dragon's head. "Knives aren't an element, idiot!"

"Technically, neither is fire!" Yukari called out suddenly. "Fire is the resulting energy loss of a chemical reaction, not an element in and of itself!"

"You keep out of this, you little-" the undead dragon glanced over at Yukari, and it started in surprise as it saw Tsukune and Moka creeping closer to the witch to try and free her. "HEY! Stop them!"

"I can't! My knives will only heal him!" the lantern lamented, staring down at his dagger and switchblade with regret.

"Aw, for willow's sake..." the wood golem - which was too slow and too far away to stop the pair himself - suddenly grabbed the zombie dragon next to him and hefted it over his head. "Ancient Netherworld strategic technique! Ally toss!"

"Hey hey heyheyHEY!" the undead dragon yelped as he was suddenly thrown bodily down the hall, and he screamed as he smashed into pieces against Moka's back, who then crushed Tsukune into the wall next to Yukari.

The lantern winced before he looked up at the wood golem. "You do know that monsters can't use that technique, right? You just threw him like a missile."

"Oops. Sorry!" the plant creature shouted.

"When and if I regain some kind of mobility, I swear to Vishnu I'm gonna chew your roots off!" the zombie dragon's head snarled as it thrashed around helplessly right under Yukari.


"Ugh... whoa..." Tsukune groaned as he rolled over onto his back, seeing that Moka was stumbling to her feet. "Moka, are you okay?" he mumbled as his hand tightened around something cold and metallic.

Moka, for her part, looked absolutely shocked as she stared down at her chest. Tsukune couldn't imagine why, as she didn't seem to be injured.

"The... The rosario... it came... off..." Moka whispered, her body trembling slightly as her hair started to sway in some invisible wind.

Tsukune blinked, and then he realized that the rosario was what he currently clutched in his hand; he had tried to take Moka around the shoulders when she had crashed into him in order to stabilize them both, but had apparently ended up taking hold of the bejeweled accessory instead.

"Sorry about that Moka, but we can worry about your jewelry later!" Tsukune said as he pushed himself up off the ground. "We need to get Yuka-"

Suddenly a veritable explosion of power burst from Moka's body, and Tsukune was slammed back into the wall by the shock wave as a column of blinding light encompassed the vampiress.

"ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! Here, have the rosario back!" Tsukune said desperately, covering his face from the waves of force. "I'll fix it! I'll fix your collar! I swear! Just calm down!"

Alas, Tsukune's words were useless as power flooded into Moka, and the vampiress's stature grew slightly as her fangs lengthened and her hair shifted from a shining pink to a brilliant silver.

When the light finally abated, Moka - or at least, the vampiress standing where Moka had been just moments ago - calmly raised her arms and stretched, her mouth curling into a smile as her shoulders popped.

"Ahhh... it's been a while since I've been out," Moka said, her voice richer and deeper than before. "And just in time, too. I don't think I would have been able to live with the shame of actually being CAPTURED by these peons, even if it was my alter ego in control at the time."

The others simply stared in silence, each of them either gaping in shock or simply confused.

"Mo-Moka? Is that you, or did I hit my head when I fell?" Kurumu asked as she pulled herself to her feet.

"What happened? Moka?" Tsukune asked timidly as he too stood up. Then he glanced at the rosario in his hands. "Does this... have something to do with the rosario?"

"Well, it seems the bimbo is right; you ARE a genius," Moka deadpanned as she rolled her eyes, ignoring the indignant cry from Kurumu that followed.

Her eyes happened to rest on the dragon skull at Yukari's feet, and she nudged it over in front of her with her foot.

"I don't get it. What's with this new broad?" the wood golem asked, seemingly unimpressed with the earlier light show.

"Man, you are just all over the map with the political correctness, aren't you?" the lantern mumbled. "Anyway, I don't know why she just gained an inch of fang and a cup size, but as long as Saotome's still willing to risk his neck to save her, I don't care. Let's wrap 'em up, eh?"

Moka snorted, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "As if I would suffer that pigtailed nuisance to rescue me! And from the likes of YOU? LEARN YOUR PLACE!"

With a kick that came far too quickly for either of the still-active Enforcers to deal with, the new, angrier Moka sent the dragon skull flying through the air like a rocket.

Wham! The lantern was flung backward as the sentient hunk of bone slammed into him, carrying him down the hall until he reached the corner and came to rest none-too-gently against the wall.

CRACK! The wall splintered as the knife-user's body was crushed against it, and the pumpkin-headed Enforcer entered blissful unconsciousness as nearly every straw in his body broke.

Thud! The skull fell onto the floor a moment later, largely unharmed.

"Wow. I never realized before, but you are REALLY soft in that form. I mean, like, PILLOW soft," the zombie dragon said to the obviously insensate thug.


The wood golem set his jaw as he turned back toward the vampiress. "So you're good at football. It'll take more than that to take me down, doll."

"Of course," Moka mumbled conversationally as she dashed forward, her form blurring from the sheer speed as she ducked into a low foot sweep that sent the golem flying onto his face. "You don't break wood with a ball."

Stepping up next to the struggling golem, she suddenly raised one leg up high into the air as she smirked viciously. "You use an ax."

CRACK! The ax kick that followed caused the floor to shake as the tiles around the wood golem practically exploded from the force, and Tsukune flinched as the wooden Enforcer yelped in agony before slowly sinking into unconsciousness.


"Hmph. I'm a bit disappointed that they couldn't last longer than that, if they really gave you so much trouble," Moka said snidely as she stared down at the fallen golem.

"I know, right?" Richard said suddenly, coming up behind the vampiress. "I'll bet they hadn't even hit level ten yet. And NO ONE was killed in the crossfire!"

Moka slowly turned to face the warlock, her expression decidedly nonplussed.

"What?" Richard asked. "Is there some popcorn on my cowl?"

THWACK! A lightning-fast roundhouse smashed the warlock's head right off of his shoulders, and Tsukune's eyes widened as it crashed through one of the high windows and went flying off into the distance outside.

Richard's body wobbled for a few seconds as Moka righted herself, and then its hands began moving in strange and deliberate patterns that - thankfully - did not end up summoning any harmful eldritch energies.

"What's wrong with him now?" Moka demanded, planting her hands on her hips as she glared at the beheaded wizard.

"That's, uh, sign language," Yukari explained as Tsukune freed her from the wall. "He says 'that was uncalled for'."

"I'd like to note that I disagree with that, actually," Kurumu said, though she was still eying this new Moka suspiciously.

Richard's body continued signing with its hands, and Yukari cleared her throat.

"Now he's saying that if you're going to be doing high kicks in a uniform skirt, then you should wear gym shorts or something. He got quite an eyeful before his eyes left with the rest of his sensory organs." Then Yukari's face turned serious. "And I'd like to note that I disagree with THAT."

"Not that it isn't great to see Professor Richard dismembered again," Tsukune said as he stepped in front of Yukari and Kurumu, "but don't you think you owe us an explanation, Moka?"

The vampiress raised an eyebrow. "Me? Owe YOU? I just saved your skins and you think to interrogate me?"

Tsukune gulped nervously, and he saw with some concern that Kurumu was edging closer to him in fear. Yukari didn't seem the least bit put off, though.

"Well, as happy as we are that this all worked out okay, where did Moka go?" Tsukune asked, fighting to keep his voice steady. "Where did you come from? What exactly happened?"

Moka cut him off with a loud snort. "You may question my... lesser self when she reasserts herself. As for me, I have one more thing I have to do here before I'm submerged once more."

Her lips stretched into a wide grin, her fangs gleaming. "Saotome comes. I've been waiting for this moment."

Ranma frowned deeply as he followed Chopper down the main path to the school building, wishing that the wrestler would hurry his pace a bit since they were in a rush.

"Look, can't you just point me in the right direction? I'll go on ahead and find him myself!" the martial artist asked, walking next to the giant.

Despite barely matching Ranma's walking speed, Chopper was jogging at a good clip himself, and cast the human an annoyed glance. "Hey, this is as fast as I go. I 'ain’t no sprinter."

"I noticed. Which is why I'd really prefer to go on ahead before that blockhead gets himself eaten," Ranma groused.

"Don't worry about it so much, man; when I left he didn't seem that worried about the huge bug at all," Chopper reassured the pigtailed boy. "Anyway, they mighta moved around a bit while fighting. If I don't take you to the right spot, then you could pass them right by without knowing."

Ranma groaned, but stopped arguing as he continued letting the troll lead him. "So there have really been attacks on students on this path? And nobody's done anything about it?"

Chopper shrugged. "Attacks on students aren't exactly big news around here. But I'm still kinda surprised you didn't hear anything about it. Don't you come to the school this way?"

"Usually I go with Tsukune, and he's been taking me across the sports field that last few days," Ranma mumbled. "I guess now I know why."

"Ah! Here we are! And just like I thought, they're not here," Chopper said as he turned off the path into a webbing-strewn clearing, planting his fists on his hips. "Couldn't have gone far. Well, unless the spider won and dragged the gargoyle off somewhere to eat him."

Ranma walked up to one of the webs, inspecting a fairly large, egg-shaped cocoon with suspicion.

Kicking a decently sharp rock up off the ground and catching it out of the air, he immediately went about sawing through the glistening threads.

Chopper walked up behind the pigtailed boy curiously, and he raised an eyebrow as more and more of the webbing fell away. "Wazzat? An egg?"

Ranma grimaced as he revealed a rather ornate, and rather huge egg lined with intricate gold designs across its pearly shell, making it look more like a massive antique stone carving rather than a vessel for a living thing.

He knew better though, and Ranma took a step back before he struck the vessel with a sharp kick.

Crack! The shell promptly burst apart into pieces, and the two burly fighters watched as a small body rolled out of the egg and tumbled onto the ground, gasping desperately for air.

"What... HAH... I'm... HAH... I'm free?" Saffron asked, his eyes swirling dizzily as he swayed back and forth on his knees.

"Hey Saffron. You okay?" Ranma mumbled, obviously not very interested in the Phoenix king's health as he glanced around at the surrounding forestland.

"Yes, I... I believe so," Saffron mumbled as he stood up shakily. "How long have I been trapped there? It's been so long, I... I completely lost track of time."

Chopper shrugged. "Dunno. What day were you captured?"

Saffron looked up sharply. "I wasn't 'captured' dolt, I was EATEN. Several times. And then wrapped up so that I couldn't get free of my divine carapace."

"He means his egg," Ranma whispered to the larger boy, who nodded seriously.

"And then I was eaten again... oh, I think twice more before-"

Ranma suddenly interrupted the immortal phoenix by rapping the youth on the head lightly. "Yeah, okay, great, you're free. I don't suppose you saw or maybe heard some sort of fight going on around here, did you? I'm trying to find a gargoyle that was around here."

Saffron blinked, clearly surprised. "Wait... you didn't come here to rescue me?"

Ranma sweatdropped. "No. How would I even know you were gone?"

A cold breeze blew through the air as silence reigned for a few precious seconds.

'I forgot. Nobody would even care if I went missing around here,' Saffron thought, his face darkening as he slumped to his hands and knees.

"So, anyway, did you hear anything or didn't you? This could be important!" Ranma demanded, causing the Phoenix to flinch.

Still looking incredibly depressed, Saffron pointed deeper into the forest. "I believe I heard some pathetic screams for help coming from that direction," he said gloomily.

"Got it! Thanks!" Ranma said, dashing off immediately.


Chopper scratched his chin as he stared at the young phoenix moping on the ground in front of him. "So... ah... you gonna be okay, little guy?"

"I..." Saffron mumbled weakly as he pushed himself to his feet, his features still utterly downcast. "I will manage... somehow..."

"Great! Bye!" the troll said happily as he jogged off toward the school building, glad that he had finally been absolved of all responsibility and could at last get to class.

Saffron continued sulking silently as he trudged off toward his dorm room, utterly alone. "So this is the fabled 'high school experience'... truly it is every bit as wretched and agonizing as Kiima's television dramas made it seem..."

Ranma had little trouble finding Haruo after being pointed in the right direction.

Frankly, he had expected to hear the sounds of combat to guide him to the right place, or perhaps more shouts for help.

He didn't expect to pick up the sounds of desperate bawling being carried on the evening wind, but seeing how he was in a hurry, any lead worked for him. Within moments he had reached a small clearing surrounded by rock outcroppings, and his gaze settled on a gargoyle laying in the middle of it, sobbing pathetically while his useless wings twitched behind him.

"Well, this is a little embarrassing to see. I was expecting to have to rescue you, but... well..."

Haruo gasped at the sound of someone's voice, and he whirled around in surprise to face the newcomer. "Saotome! You came to save me!"

"No, I didn't," Ranma said immediately, smashing the Enforcer's sudden surge of hope, "I came to save my friends. But seeing how you seem to be the one that thinks they're in danger, I guess I'm going to have to keep you alive long enough to tell me, huh?"

"Yes! Yes! Keep me alive!" Haruo said desperately, standing up straight. "Now! Help me free my wings and then distract the enemy while I escape!"

Whomp! The gargoyle yelped as Ranma landed on his head, bringing the Enforcer back to his knees.

"That's enough outta you," the martial artist quipped as he hopped onto solid ground, his eyes moving from rock formation to rock formation. "So it's hiding nearby, eh? This'll be tricky, then. I can't sense it at all, and spiders are damn patient; if it IS here, then it'll definitely get the jump on us."

"So what do you want to do?" Haruo grumbled as he stood up, rubbing the back of his head.

"Simple. I'll wait here while you make a break for it," Ranma said, moving into a fighting stance.

Haruo blinked. "But... isn't that pretty much what I suggested in the-"

"Hurry up and go! Move it!" Ranma demanded, his eyes hardening as the gargoyle jumped.

"All right, all right!" Haruo said, turning to dash away. "Your sacrifice will not be forgotten, Saotome!"

"Yeah, sure," Ranma said as he waited for movement around him. "I've observed a lot of spiders, so I know their reflexes; they don't let prey get away even when it's a good idea."

Haruo frowned as he thought over that information, running past the pile of granite rubble. "Wait, what do you mea-"

Bwoom! Earth and rock burst into the air as the gigantic spider rose up out the rubble, two of its legs rising up before slamming into the gargoyle's back and pinning him painfully against the ground.

The massive arachnid turned its body to bring its fangs to bear on its fresh capture, but halted as the eyes on the side of its head picked up a flash of bright blue coming from the clearing.

"Mouko takabisha!" Even the creature's full-body jump was eerily silent as it leapt backward out of the path of the ki bolt, and the gigantic spider spread its legs in preparation for battle as it quickly reassessed its situation.

"So this is the boss spider, eh?" Ranma said as he lowered his smoldering arms. "Not too shabby."

"Urgh! Hurry up and squash it!" Haruo demanded from where he was slowly standing up; apparently being smashed to the ground had broken something.

"Nah." Ranma shook his head in disinterest, and he pointed to the spider as his eyes narrowed.

"Yo! Boss Spider!" he shouted. "Normally I'd be happy to take you down and teach you some manners! I've trained a lot of you fanged freaks, and you look like you'd be good for getting rid of big cats, or maybe carrying stuff if I need to move or something!"

Haruo sweatdropped. "Cats? What? What's he going on about?"

"But right now, I'm in a bit of a hurry, so I can't waste time teaching you who the real boss is around here!" Ranma continued as the gigantic spider stood unmoving on the edge of the clearing. "So this time ONLY, I'm giving you the chance to leave before I kick your fat abdomen into line!"

Haruo gaped at the declaration as the martial artist faced off against the tremendous arachnoid, his hard blue eyes gazing unflinchingly into the shining black orbs of the spider's.

And then, to the Enforcer's utter shock, the gigantic spider scuttled backward into the forest, its massive legs carrying it into the sparse brush and over the occasional barriers of webbing that it itself had previously spun.


"How... How did you do that?" Haruo said weakly as he stared at the retreating form, although he lost sight of it within seconds.

"A real predator knows instinctively whether they're the hunter or the prey," Ranma said sagely, crossing his arms over his chest as he nodded.

"Wh... What? Seriously?" Haruo stuttered.

"Hell, I dunno. Maybe," Ranma admitted. "The important thing is that it's too scared of me to risk fighting right now. So! What's happening to Tsukune or the others?"

Being injured, grounded, humiliated, and having just been saved by his worst enemy, it took Haruo a surprising two seconds to once again assume a position of superiority.

"I'll have you know that your friends are completely at my mercy, Saotome!" the gargoyle growled, pointing a claw at the martial artist. "By now my minions have captured them, and will only release them if I command it! If you dare defend yourself from me now, those precious to you will all DIE!"

The Enforcer laughed as he raised a claw, his eyes mad with glee at the prospect of rending his hated enemy to bits.

Thwock! His glee turned to pain as Ranma kicked him in the face, knocking the gargoyle back onto his rear.

"Ow! What the hell? Don't you even care about your friends' lives? You demon! Vile ogre!" Haruo complained as he rubbed his injured jaw.

Ranma rolled his eyes as the Enforcer continued hurling insults at him. "Yeah, whatever. Why the heck should I believe you? How do I know the others are in trouble if they're not even here? For all I know they escaped whatever stupid plan you had to catch 'em and are in class even as we speak."

Haruo growled as he stood up again. "Fine, if that's how it's going to be, I'll show you... do you hear that?"

Ranma glanced upward as he too heard a distant noise, like a scream from the sky that was rapidly coming closer.

"BAAAANZAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIII!!" screamed Richard's head as it sailed through the air, flying into the forest and straight toward one of the web patches.

Ba-yoing! The web stretched back as the warlock's head slammed into it, but the gummy threads proved strong enough to keep from breaking even as the entire web and the attached branches shook.

"Ptooey!" Richard spit out a piece of glass that had gotten stuck in his cowl, and his eyes glanced up at the two students in the clearing next to him. "Ah, Saotome. All ready for class today, I hope?"

Haruo gaped as Ranma just massaged his forehead. "Is that-"

"Yes," Ranma said.

Richard's head wiggled back and forth slightly. "Hm. Could you-"

"No," Ranma said, turning back to Haruo. "Ignore him. Look, take me to where your goons are, and if you actually DO have Tsukune and the others captured, then I'll think about your ridiculous terms."

"Hmph!" the gargoyle looked annoyed, but he quickly realized he didn't really have a choice. "Fine! If you're going to be... uh..." Haruo trailed off as Richard's head started chuckling. "What? Did I say something funny?"

The warlock's cowl curled slightly in imitation of a grin. "I know something you don't knoooooow!" Richard sang.

Ranma groaned in frustration as he went back to rubbing his head. "Aw, dammit..."

"So... are we just gonna wait here, or what?" Kurumu asked as she rubbed her shoulder, wincing at the bruises. "Homeroom's already started, you know."

Tsukune crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at Moka's back. "I'm not leaving until I get an explanation for this! I want to know what happened to Moka!"

"I don't see what it really matters," the succubus grumbled. "She said that she'd revert back to normal, right? So I say let's leave while she's still on our side. Who knows if that psycho will suddenly turn on us?"

Yukari shook her head. "I doubt that. It's clear that this... other Moka is at least operating with our Moka's memories, so I'm fairly certain she still recognizes us as... well, maybe not friends, but allies, at least."

Then the young witch frowned. "What concerns me is why she's waiting for Senpai. The thugs are already down, and it's not like she needed any help dispatching them. What does Senpai have to do with this?"

Richard's body made a series of hand signals.

Yukari sighed. "Professor Richard is asking if someone wouldn't mind dropping his popcorn into his open esophagus when Senpai gets here."

A vein popped up on Kurumu's head, and she picked up the warlock's popcorn bucket before dropping it upside-down over his neck.

Richard's body gave a thumbs-up even as popcorn spilled out over its chest and back, only annoying the succubus further.

"Hey! Tsukune! You all right?"


All attention shifted to the broken window up near the roof as Ranma - with Richard's head under his arm - and Haruo - with his wings finally cleaned of webbing - alighted on the window sill, poking their heads in.

"Wh-What? What is this?" Haruo asked, gaping as he surveyed the destruction. "My nameless minions! What have you done to them?"

"We do TOO have names, jackass!" growled the zombie dragon's skull from the ground where it had fallen. "Not our fault nobody seems to care..."

Haruo glanced down at the dismembered skeleton. "That's one... and there's the lantern... and the wood golem is in the crater behind the chick..." he looked back and forth across the hallway. "Hey, where's the goody-two-shoes? Did he refuse to do his duty because of his stupid ethics or something?"

"No, he's here," said Richard's head. "See that black mark on the floor?"

Richard's body pointed to a streak of soot that stretched at an angle through the hall and ended with a hole burnt into the wall separating the hall from one of the classrooms.

"Just so you know, it was in the interest of good sportsmanship!" the disembodied head insisted.

"Well... that's that, then," Ranma murmured before he tossed Richard's head like a basketball.

Thoomp! The warlock's head dropped into a trash can.

"Hmm... clearly his skills are wasted on the fighting arts. That was at least a half-court shot," Richard said, his voice slightly muffled from being literally up to his eyeballs in garbage. "... Uh... little help?" Naturally, nobody moved to assist him.

Haruo shook his head in disbelief. "No, the plan was perfect! How could this have-" he stopped talking as he felt Ranma grab the back of his head. "Uh oh."

The martial artist hopped off of the window sill into the school building, and Haruo screamed in surprise and terror as he was pulled along as well.

He tried to spread his wings to slow the fall, but Ranma simply swung onto his back and then kicked down, sending the gargoyle plummeting to the hard tile below.

WHAM! Ranma landed lightly as the Enforcer crumpled into an insensate heap behind him.

"Geez, it was all for nothing after all," the pigtailed boy grumbled as he walked up to his friends. "Hey, Kurumu, you all right? Looks like you took a beating, there. And Moka, did they get you with bleach or something? What's with the hair?"

Tsukune was about to try and explain the situation when Kurumu spoke first.

"Ranma, don't let her fool you! That's not Moka!" the succubus said, pointing at the vampiress.

Moka, who had said nothing and simply watched ever since Ranma had appeared, turned to arch an eyebrow at Kurumu's warning.

Ranma halted in his tracks, and he frowned as he took a closer look at the vampiress. He had initially assumed it was Moka just because he could see her fangs, and also because she "felt" very similar aura-wise, though this person's energy wasn't concentrated in a rosario. Now that he was observing her more closely, however, he realized that this was obviously a different person. The hair color, the fierce, glowing eyes, the haughty expression... even her face and body looked slightly different from Moka's, and he felt foolish for mistaking her for the timid vampiress.

"You're right, she does look different," Ranma said suspiciously.

"Not only that," Kurumu added, "in the fight we had just now, she actually HELPED!"

A vein popped up on Moka's head as Ranma recoiled.

"Wh-What? S-Seriously?" Ranma stuttered, taken aback and far more wary of the silver-haired girl. "All right, who the hell are you, and what'd you do with Moka?"

"Not that I entirely disagree with your assessment of my alter ego," Moka said blithely, "but your disrespect begins to annoy me."

"Yeah, I get that a lot," Ranma admitted as he moved into a fighting stance. "So, how's this gonna go? You wanna talk, or do yo-" were the last words he managed to get out before a flying roundhouse kick struck him in the chest.


Tsukune gaped as his roommate was sent flying through the hall, taken completely by surprise, and then smashed into the wall next to the unconscious pumpkin-headed Enforcer. Several other students joined him, many of them poking their heads out of their classroom doors or gathering around the corner at the end of the hall to watch.

"Hmph. Learn your place, cretin!" Moka snapped as she lowered her leg, idly flipping her long hair over her shoulder.

"What the HELL was that about?" Tsukune demanded, stomping up behind Moka and reaching out to grab her by the shoulder. "Moka or not, what did Ranma do to-"

Just as he was about to touch her the human found his hand swatted away, and before he knew it he was staring into the girl's bright red eyes.

"Do not presume to touch me as you wish," Moka said imperiously.

"F-Fine," Tsukune stuttered, his heart thundering as he suddenly found himself thinking about how easily this person had decapitated Professor Richard, "but I still want to know why you did that to Ranma! He didn't deserve that!"

"He annoys me," Moka said simply, her lip curling into an aggravated sneer. "His barbaric demeanor, his pitiful egotism, his deplorable treatment of my other self... it was simply time he was properly disciplined, that's all."

"Disciplined? You could have killed him!" Tsukune shouted, trying to focus on his anger in order to ignore his fear. "You can't start beating people to a pulp because they ANNOY you!"

Moka rolled her eyes. "Perhaps my other self cares for your lectures, but you bore-" she stopped speaking as she felt someone tap her shoulder, and then turned her head in irritation to see who it was.

Crack! "You're annoying!" Ranma shouted as he plowed a haymaker into the surprised vampire's jaw, twisting her head to the side and throwing her entire body to the floor.

"WHOA!" Tsukune shouted as Moka collapsed onto the ground at his feet, her long, silver hair spilling all about. "Ranma! Over the line!" he shouted desperately.

Ranma breathed heavily as one hand clutched his chest, feeling for rib fractures, and his teeth were red from where he had coughed up some blood. "What? This is the best way to knock her out quick, so we can figure out what to do with her."

"That's Moka's body you just slugged!" Tsukune protested.

"Yeah, and this is MY body she just kicked," Ranma countered. "Look, I'll apologize to the real Moka when..."

The pigtailed boy trailed off as the silver-haired vampiress calmly picked herself up off the floor, facing away from the two arguing humans.

"My, that was a surprise," Moka said almost conversationally as she stood up and scratched at her slightly dirty cheek. "I actually lost my balance. That was almost impressive."

Ranma's eyes hardened. "Still wanna give me a hard time about hitting her?" he mumbled to Tsukune, who gulped.

"It appears I have a stubborn student," Moka said as she placed a hand on her hip, staring at Ranma with pure disdain. "I'll have to teach you another lesson."

And then, launching herself forward in a blur of motion, the vampiress attacked.


"How did this happen?" Kurumu asked weakly as she backed into a wall, her and Yukari having been gradually separated from the main conflict.

"Huh. I see," Yukari mumbled as she thumbed through a thick book, being the only person that didn't seem to be emotionally distressed by the scene playing out in front of them. "A vampire is supposedly able to transfer all the energy of her magical aura into pure power, boosting her physical abilities far beyond that of other monsters. That's the reason why they're presumed to be the strongest monsters in the world."

"You don't say," Kurumu mumbled, wincing as she watched Moka smash a wall in with a kick while Ranma dodged out of the way.

"On the other hand, devils are able to transfer their magical auras into their limbs to strengthen them for attacks, or wreathe them in flames. Depending on the sub-class of devil, he almost certainly has an array of secondary abilities as well, such as a hypnotic gaze, venomous claws, or an elemental weapon. Senpai should be on relatively even ground with her!"

Kurumu wondered why Yukari almost seemed excited when she said this, but a more pressing curiosity demanded attention. "Uh... what do devils have to do with Ranma?"

"It's my current working theory as to his species," Yukari explained, watching with undisguised interest as Ranma ran up a wall and then kicked off of it to avoid a roundhouse that utterly demolished the sturdy barrier.

"Ah. And... what if he's not a devil after all?" Kurumu asked, looking worried.

"Oh, well, in that case he's almost certain to lose, and he'll probably even die," Yukari said, frowning. "But I'm sure he's a devil. Well, mostly sure. I'd estimate at least a sixty-five percent chance..."

Crash! Kurumu winced as she watched the pigtailed boy go flying through a door and knock down a group of spectators. "Well, he's going to be a jelly soon if he doesn't do something..."


Ranma dropped low to the ground as Moka's leg flew over him, and then twisted around just in time to catch a back kick that tagged his shoulder, sending him hurtling across the floor.

He lightly tapped the ground mid-tumble to gain some altitude and then flipped back onto his feet, but immediately had to dive to the side again as a silver-haired meteor almost rammed a knee into his face.

To those that had fought or seen him fight before, the pigtailed boy seemed curiously silent as he dodged and defended, trying to minimize his damage as Moka pressed her assault relentlessly. No breath was wasted in taunts, and no attention was paid to the cheers and jeers of the other students who were watching the battle through doorways and the occasional hole that Moka had helpfully opened up for them.

Nobody had ever seen Moka fight before, and to say her abilities came as a surprise was a terrific understatement. Her long legs tore through the air with a speed that few of the spectators could track, and they struck with the force of wrecking balls. Ranma was being careful to avoid the attacks, focusing all his energy and attentions on defense, and there were none that could blame him; surely just one more of the devastating kicks would break him if it connected cleanly.

Though it hadn't even been a full minute, the hall was a scene of complete devastation. Walls were decorated with impact craters or had long, thick gashes torn through them, while many classrooms now sported multiple new hallway entrances. And while most of the students were careful enough to stay out of the path of the fighters while watching, there were several who were either too slow or too unlucky to get out of the way before being battered with shrapnel or bowled over by a shock wave, and their bodies laid comatose on the sidelines as the damage continued to spread.

Ranma dashed toward Moka as she whirled around, her long hair sweeping in front of her in the wind of her movement.

Within another blinked of the eye, her leg was lashing out toward her pigtailed opponent, and it was all Ranma could do to block the sudden strike on one arm.

Moka smiled as he grunted, and then she twisted her entire body in the air as her other leg shot toward Ranma's straining arms.

Bwoom! The shock wave from the impact send cracks seeping through the floor tiles as Ranma slid backward away from the vampiress, his arms bloody, but holding solidly in an "X" in front of his chest. The force sent tremors throughout the walls and ceiling, and sparks rained down from the lights above as they flickered uncertainly, Moka's bright red eyes and fanged smile shining through the brief moments of darkness.


Moka giggled slightly as Ranma wobbled in place, obviously rattled, and she dropped her leg to the floor as she placed a hand on her hip. "Not so cocky this time, I see. Would you like to call it quits here?"

Ranma breathed heavily as he locked eyes with the vampiress. "'Scuse me? Quit? You want ME to quit?"

"Please! Please do!" Tsukune shouted, having rushed up the very moment his friends had stopped jumping around. "Both of you, knock it off! There's no POINT to any of this! Why are you even fighting?"

"We're fighting because Saotome is an idiot and needs to be taught his standing," Moka said, stretching her arms over her head and incidentally giving the male viewers quite a show as her cleavage tightened, "however, I've become bored, and I suppose there's no harm in letting him stay awake while he thinks on what he's learned."

Tsukune winced badly. "REALLY poor choice of words, Evil Moka!"

The vampiress turned toward him sharply, causing the human to jump. "Evil Moka? Is that how you just addressed me?"

She didn't seem exactly mad about it, but Tsukune still moved to placate immediately. "S-Sorry! It just slipped out! I meant... uh... Dark Moka? Violent Moka? Considerably Less Pacifistic Moka? What am I supposed to call you?"

The silver-haired girl snorted. "I am Moka. The TRUE Moka. Her inner self, confined with that rosario in order to make myself more..." her lip curled into a sneer, "approachable."

"It works!" Tsukune noted almost desperately. "It really, REALLY works!" He walked in-between Ranma and Moka, and then held the disconnected jewelry out to the vampiress. "Here! Here's the rosario back! So you can go back to be peaceful and approachable and... uh..."

Tsukune stopped talking as the rosario was plucked out of his hand from behind him, and his face darkened as he saw Ranma observing the bejeweled cross.

"Huh? So this is it, eh? This is like your weakness?" Ranma asked conversationally as he turned it over in his hand.

Moka stifled a laugh. "Weakness? The rosario? Surely even you cannot be that stupid. How would you presume to use it?"

"Ranma. PLEASE. I'm begging you. Don't do this," Tsukune whispered. Over the past several weeks of co-habitation, he had gotten a pretty good grasp of Ranma's personality and character, and he KNEW that this apparent calm was a front for the fury that the martial artist must have been feeling at having his pride stepped on so callously, and in front of an audience.

This... Inner Moka had obviously come with the intent to destroy his friend's ego and reputation more than his body, and Ranma would drive the latter to the brink of death before he sacrificed the former.

Walking past Tsukune, Ranma slipped the rosario into his pocket as he approached Moka. "Well, I probably have to attach it to your collar or something, but whatever. We'll have plenty of time to experiment while you're recovering on a slab in the nurse's office."


The surrounding students erupted in cheers and shouts of encouragement as they saw that the fight was about to continue, and Tsukune felt himself being tugged backward away from the impending chaos.

"Tsukune, get back!" Kurumu said as she pulled him away. "You tried to warn him, all right? Whatever happens to Ranma now isn't your fault!"

She herself didn't want to see Ranma get hurt, but she was also uncomfortably familiar with such scenarios, having grown up in the monster world. The strong preyed on the weak all the time, and fights between immovable egos were all too common. The pigtailed boy would be lucky if he managed to make a full recovery.

"What happens to Ranma?" Tsukune asked as he turned to face the succubus. "Are you serious? I mean, sure, I don't want him to get hurt anymore, but Moka's body is in serious danger, here!"

Kurumu blanched at that. "Moka? Your best friend is getting beaten to a pulp and you're worried about the girl who's mauling him?"

"You don't understand, Kurumu," Tsukune sighed weakly, "Ranma's not going to lose."


"I thought even you had more sense about you," Moka said lazily as she began to approach the martial artist in a slow, sensual walk. "But very well. If you really will not see reason until it breaks you..."

The vampire's body suddenly accelerated like a gunshot, smashing the tile to pieces underneath her before she flew toward Ranma with a kick that could rend steel. She knew he would probably dodge - he was infuriatingly good at that - but she also knew that her foe had already been pushed to the limit. Even with the short rest he had just been afforded, soon he would become too exhausted to avoid her attacks, and then she would teach the uppity human his place with a few swift kicks.

Then a funny thing happened.

Thwack! Moka flinched in surprise as she felt a strike land on her shoulder, and her head whipped around just in time to see Ranma land on the floor behind her at the same time he leveled a backward kick into her side.

Thwump! Ranma kicked into the vampiress and then threw himself to the ground, letting her leg pass over him before he bounced to his feet again, slamming a palm into the vampire's stomach.

Moka's eyes widened in surprise as she stumbled back from the attack, as she had been finishing her kick and was still balancing on one leg. She managed to keep standing, but a moment of hesitation left another opening that Ranma wasted no time in exploiting.

WHAM! The martial artist's fist blurred as it smashed into Moka's solar plexus, hammering the same spot repeatedly before the vampire was thrown back from the force and sent sprawling across the length of the hall, bouncing painfully across the tile.

Ranma breathed heavily as he kept his pose, his arm trembling slightly from the sudden exertion. "I call that one the 'pork tenderizer'. Kind of an inside joke." Laughter and cheers erupted from the spectators, and a few students particularly pleased by the turnaround started to chant his name.

Moka clutched her stomach as she pushed herself to her feet, feeling her internals lurch painfully in protest. How the hell had Ranma managed that? He wasn't any faster than she was, or at least it didn't seem that way from their earlier exchange of blows.

Of course, most of his attacks weren't strong enough to stagger her or do any worthwhile damage, but the last hundred or so blows had nearly caused her to black out then and there, and even now pain was still coursing through her torso as she fought to gather her strength.

Ranma remained standing in front of her, just out of arm's reach, waiting.

The moment she could feel her legs properly again, Moka launched herself forward, lashing out with a roundhouse twice as powerful as the one that had decapitated Richard.

The kick swept in from the right.

Ranma's fist smashed into her left flank as the pigtailed boy twisted away from the attack, and then a snap kick to the back of Moka's head pitched the vampire forward.

Moka's other leg slashed through the air as she turned, but Ranma was already out of range, his ponytail whipping about in the wind from the whiffed attack.

"You can't escape from me forever!" the vampiress snarled as she bared her fangs.

"I only need to escape until you're laid out on the floor," Ranma taunted back, beckoning her forward. "Now hurry it up. I don't want to be late for class."


"What the hell is going on now?" Kurumu mumbled as she peeked around a bank of lockers at the battle. It was hard to hear what the fighters were saying to each other due to the chatter and jeers of the other spectators - there seemed to be more arriving all the time - but it was obvious that the tables had turned completely.

"I expected something like this," Tsukune said, chewing his lip nervously as he watched Moka get thrown heavily into a wall as she and Ranma moved further down the hall. "There's no way Ranma would just roll over and let her beat him like that."

"So do you know what happened?" Kurumu asked as Yukari pressed closer, also eager to hear.

Tsukune sighed. "Ranma talks a lot about fighting and martial arts, you know? So he told me that there are three key aspects to melee fighting: strength, agility, and technique. He also said that while a lot of monsters get plenty of the first and some of the second just for being monsters, most of them rely on those and don't develop their actual fighting skills."

Kurumu scratched her head in confusion, but Yukari snapped her fingers.

"Of course! Senpai was completely on the defensive the first round, gauging her attacks and analyzing them!" she said excitably. "Moreover, Evil Moka largely seems to utilize kicks with small variations in speed, arc, and power!"

The young witch paused to allow a wave of dust to pass by, courtesy of Moka knocking down another wall.

"By now Senpai surely has her attack patterns completely mapped! Even if she's stronger and faster than him, Senpai knows exactly where she's going to strike and where she'll be vulnerable! This match is practically his already!"

"Don't count on it, shorty!" Kouma suddenly shouted from behind Yukari, startling the others with his sudden appearance.

The hellhound snorted as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Saotome may have the upper hand for now, but he's taking his injuries too lightly. He's probably got a few fractured ribs at least, and his arms have taken a lot of abuse blocking those ridiculously powerful kicks. I doubt he can manage that pork attack again. At this point it comes down to whether he still has the stamina to wear down a vampire."

Tsukune, Kurumu, and Yukari all stared speechlessly at the hellhound.

"Ah..." Tsukune was the first to break the silence, "don't you have class or something? Why are you here?"

"This is the biggest fight I've seen so far on campus; I wouldn't miss this for anything!" the bushy-browed monster said before cupping his hands around his mouth. "HEY! Silver chick! Get a clue! He's already smacked you the first dozen times you tried that move, what made you think one more time would do the job?"

"Why are you giving Evil Moka hints?" Kurumu asked. "Aren't you Ranma's partner?"

"Just because I'm his partner doesn't mean I don't want to see him taken down a peg," the hellhound reasoned as he pulled something large from his school jacket and started gnawing on what appeared to be a stunted femur. "And he'd probably be fine with only one arm, too."

Yukari stared for several seconds as Kouma continued chewing on his bleached treat. "Is that... part of that zombie dragon?"

"I didn't see any zombie dragon," the hellhound murmured around the bone in his mouth, "and if you don't believe that, then I invoke finders keepers."


WHAM! Ranma seemed to move in slow motion as Moka's foot stabbed deep into a locker, and the vampiress grunted as his elbow found its way into her side.

Feeling a bit brash, Ranma pressed the attack as his foe fought to both keep her balance and pull her foot from the twisted metal, slamming punch after punch into the vampiress at full power to keep her off balance as long as possible.

CLANG! In the end Moka simply tore the locker off of the wall with her foot as she kicked at him, and although Ranma backed away from the kick he was caught by surprise when the locker was sent flying as a result, slamming into his body and sending him and the metal hulk crashing into a drinking fountain on the other side of the hall.

"Gugh!" Ranma grunted painfully as he was sandwiched between the two boxes of metal, and he winced as the water pipe in the fountain shattered and promptly poured water right down onto his head.


"This could be bad," Tsukune mumbled as he watched a redheaded female Ranma kick the locker away before pulling herself back to her feet.

Reactions from the crowd were... mixed.

"Did Saotome just grow boobies?"

"Oh, HELL no! I'm out a thousand yen!"

"Shape shifter! Crap, he's a shape shifter!"

"Somebody get the bookie spreadsheet!"

"What a fantastic body!"

Kurumu raised an eyebrow when she realized that this last comment came from Yukari.

The young witch, for her part, stared for a few more seconds before glancing around at all the people around her. "Wait... why don't any of you seem surprised?"

"Seen it," Tsukune and Kurumu mumbled.

"Nothing about Saotome surprises me anymore," Kouma mumbled as he bit hard into the dragon femur, snapping it in two.

After a few seconds of Yukari fuming indignantly, a nearby locker suddenly opened as a girl largely unfamiliar to any of those present spilled out onto the floor in a daze.

"Ranma is... a girl?" Mizore asked, her head spinning.


'Well, this is just great,' Ranma thought as she hauled herself up, clearly the worse for wear. She mostly tuned out the responses to the sudden gender shift, turning her full focus onto the battle at hand; she had come way too far to lose because of embarrassment and indignity.

As she tried to clear her head and take stock of her injuries - a few pieces of metal had torn particularly badly, and had cut gashes into her back - she finally realized that Moka had not yet attacked.

'Is she getting her confidence back, or is she just stupid?' Ranma thought as she wiped the water from her face. 'I was wide open until now, and she just waits for me?'

Once her vision cleared fully, she was tempted to settle on the latter explanation. Moka was standing just a few meters away in her best impersonation of a proper combat stance, her eyes unusually focused and wary.

"Man, you must not wanna win at all," Ranma muttered as she walked away from the wreck, water dripping from her hair and clothes. Still seeing no indication of action from the vampiress, Ranma took a moment to wring out her pigtail, causing even more water to spill onto the floor and down her arms.

"Thanks for waiting; I'm ready for ya now," Ranma taunted, idly lashing an arm out to spray a bit of water into Moka's face.

The martial artist froze in disbelief as Moka leapt backward, retreating from the liquid as if it were hot acid.

"No way... there's no way..." Ranma murmured as she stared down at her wet hands. "Seriously? Water? You're afraid of water?"

Moka was obviously flustered as she stood up straight again, mindful that some of the spectators were booing now. "I... dislike it, yes. Are you ready to surrender now? You've taken quite a-"

The vampiress was cut off as her foe vaulted forward, and Moka broke from her earlier attack patterns to leap as far back as possible from the dripping redhead.

Exactly as Ranma had predicted.

Ranma followed Moka's desperate dodge, and she launched a haymaker toward the point where she knew Moka would land, slamming the vampire in the stomach.

Bzrt! In addition to the physical force of the attack, an electric spark jumped from Ranma's knuckles as Moka lurched backward from the attack, stunned.

Whack! Crack! Wham! Two punches were followed by a snap kick that saw Moka reeling, and as the vampiress staggered Ranma tore open her red Chinese shirt, exposing the damp white tank top underneath (much to the delight of the male monsters watching).


"This is definitely bad," Tsukune said weakly as she watched Ranma lash the sopping wet garment around her foe's arms, eliciting more grunts of pain and sparks of energy.

"Can't believe everyone knew Senpai could shape shift," Yukari murmured dejectedly.

"Why is it bad that he's winning, again?" Kurumu asked Tsukune. "I mean, a minute ago I was afraid he was going to die!"

"I know that he's been injured too, but this has to stop before someone gets crippled!" Tsukune said, clearly frustrated by his helplessness to halt the violence. "It's obvious that the water is harming Moka's body, right? What if it's doing permanent damage to her? None of us know how much danger she's in right now!"

"Only two devil varieties can shift... not across genders... stupid useless theories..." Yukari murmured dejectedly.

"So is Ranma a boy turning into a girl or a girl turning into a boy?" Mizore asked from where she was sitting on the floor under the others. As no one knew who she was or what she was doing here, she was largely ignored.

"This whole fight is pointless! I have to end this somehow!" Tsukune insisted, only to be pulled back by Kurumu.

"Oh no you don't!" Kurumu said, her eyes hardening. "Those two are out for blood! There's no way I'm letting you run out there to get killed!"

"Was it even a willful shift? If not the parameters for-" Yukari's latest dejected murmurs were interrupted when something tapped her on the shoulder, and she looked behind her to see Richard's body using sign language again.

The young witch sighed. "Professor Richard wants to know if anybody can go get his head out of the trash can so he can watch the fight; his body isn't sure which one it landed in. Also, you know, it lacks proper sensory organs."

Inspiration struck Tsukune like a slap in the face. "That's it! Professor Richard, this way!"

Kurumu, Yukari, and even Kouma stared in stunned silence as Tsukune took the beheaded warlock by the hand and rushed him back down the hall. None of them could fathom why even Tsukune would help the undead wizard, as the professor was significantly responsible for this mess in the first place.


"All right, here it is," Tsukune said as he rounded a corner, practically dragging the tall robed body behind him.

"Hey! Aono! Did you see my femur anywhere?" the zombie dragon asked the moment he caught sight of his former target. The battered form of the lantern - with its pumpkin head wrapped entirely in gauze save a single eye - was trying mostly in vain to assemble the undead creature's body from the assorted pieces, though he had managed to attach the skull to its spine.

Tsukune winced as he let go of Richard's hand, leaving the body to grope about uselessly in the middle of the hall. "I, uh, think a dog ate it," he said without any irony.

"WHAT? Why didn't you stop it?" the monster demanded angrily.

"Busy now!" the human responded, really in no mood to argue with enemies that had already been fully walloped. He approached the garbage can and then leaned over it, peering into Richard's hooded eyes.

"Hello, Professor," Tsukune said evenly. "I'm here to get you."

The warlock's head looked unimpressed. "And I suppose you'll want some kind of reward for that. Like cash. Or not dying a horrible, painful death for my amusement." After a few seconds, his expression changed to hopeful. "Will two thousand yen be enough?"

"I want a favor," Tsukune snapped, "and hopefully you can restrain yourself from killing me as a courtesy."

"Take, take, take. Kids today are so greedy," Richard grumbled as he rolled his eyes.

"Just be quiet and come with me, all right?" Tsukune demanded as he grabbed the head by its hood and hauled it up. "I just hope I'm in time..."

Whump! Ranma spit out blood as a desperate back kick smashed into her stomach, tearing her free of the wet shirt that was wrapped around Moka's wrists.

The vampiress quickly pried the soaked garment off of her arms, her breath heaving as electric arcs and trails of smoke came from her hands.

Splop! Once the shirt had been discarded, Moka turned her attention back to her opponent, and nearly fell over from whirling too fast.

Moka was sorely injured, as her exposure to water had left her far more vulnerable to Ranma's attacks and made the damage she'd taken nearly impossible to ignore.

On the other hand, Ranma was clearly on her last legs as well, holding her stance rigidly in the middle of the hall as blood seeped from her lip. The transgendered fighter was formidable, but Moka was an immortal vampire, and every blow she landed was the equal of twenty that the redhead managed against her.

As the crowd's jeering started up again, Moka fought her initial instinct to charge forward and attack and took a moment to think about her situation.

'She's mostly dry by now, so her blows won't hurt as much,' Moka thought, slowly sidestepping around the pigtailed girl to get between her and fountain. 'She'll probably go for the water again. If it's a contest of stamina, I can't lose.'

'She thinks I'm going for the water. Whatta rube,' Ranma thought as she wiped some blood off of her lips. 'Still, this is gonna be all-or-nothing. It would be a pain if this became a contest of stamina.'

Moka hesitated as she saw her opponent start to glow a luminescent blue, and after a moment she realized that Ranma was summoning her own aura. It was nothing like hers, as it represented unbridled will focused into physical power rather than the fantastic inborn energies of the vampires, but it gave her pause as she considered what tactic Ranma might be using.

All at once, the redheaded girl made a break for the gushing water leak where the drinking fountain used to be, and half an eye blink later Moka was on a collision course, her right leg slicing through the air with lethal intent.

Ranma wanted to say "sucker", but etiquette demanded she shout her attack's name instead as she thrust her arms forward. "Mouko takabisha!" Her momentum halted instantly from the recoil as a beach ball-sized sphere of power blasted forth from her palms, and where Moka's leg was supposed to strike flesh, it instead slashed into an orb of overwhelming force.

WHAM! Moka cried out as the energies spilled around her leg and crashed into her, and she quickly leaned into the impact as she slid backward, her shoes splintering the tiles as she fought to stay standing. It was the worst possible way to absorb the attack, but to let herself be blown back would have landed her right into the broken water pipe and quickly ended this match entirely as Ranma had expected.

After a moment the pressure against her front relented, and Moka staggered forward painfully, almost falling flat on her face. She was battered, but still conscious.

"Gotcha!" Ranma shouted as she vaulted toward the vampire, knowing that she only had a few more good strikes left in her.

Moka fought against the dizziness and tried to focus in on Ranma as the martial artist approached, forcing her battered body to counter-attack. Her body moved sluggishly in response as it threw up a kick, completely devoid of the usual grace and speed of the vampire but hopefully enough to fend off her enemy.

SKRRRRAK!


Ranma's eyes widened and she skidded to a stop as large needles of ice suddenly stabbed upward from the floor in a wall between her and Moka.

Moka gaped at the sudden interference, her leg still raised for a high kick and incidentally giving a good chunk of the spectators a perfect view between her legs.

Those in the crowd that weren't busy leering or taking cell phone photos fell silent, their cheers dying in their throats at the sudden anticlimax.

"The hell? What's going on?" Ranma demanded as she turned to where the needles seemed to have come from.

She and Moka weren't at all surprised to see Richard's body standing at the far end of the icy stalagmite wall, but both were utterly stunned to see Tsukune standing next to it, frowning darkly as he held Richard's head under one arm.

"All right, pack it up guys," the younger human said firmly, "show's over. Ranma, would you please give Moka back her rosario?"

The pigtailed girl stuttered in disbelief. "B-But I was... she w-was about to-"

"Yes, Ranma, you were going to demolish her, I'm sure," Tsukune said with an uncharacteristic hint of steel in his voice, "and there's nothing wrong with you defending yourself like you have, but this fight ends NOW. You've proven yourself already and there's no reason why anyone has to end up in intensive care because of this stupid battle."

Tsukune turned toward Moka. "Evil Moka, put on the rosario when Ranma gives it to you."

Moka finally broke out of her shock, and her weary eyes hardened. "You think to tell me-"

She was cut off as a high-pitched whine filled the hallway, and her lips halted as cold blue power once again enveloped Richard's hands.

"I'm sorry, I think you're still under the assumption that you have some kind of control of the situation," Richard said as his body started juggling small ice crystals practically writhing with magic. "Let me explain clearly to you: do what shorty says or I use your cold, shattered flesh to cool drinks at my next tailgate party."

The warlock grinned under his cowl as Tsukune's eyebrow twitched. "You all should come! My bean dip is world-famous!"

"Thank you, Professor," Tsukune ground out, "but please let me do the talking." It was rather disconcerting how the warlock instructor could be so blatantly malevolent one moment and so cheerfully helpful the next... although there was a great deal of consistency in the level of violence.

"Evil Moka, I understand that Ranma can be hard to deal with, but the way you treated him was way out of line," Tsukune said firmly to the fuming vampiress. "I know you have your pride as well, but being stronger than someone else doesn't give you the right to hurt them!"

Richard's head raised an eyebrow, clearly confused. "Wait... what? Really?" Everyone ignored him.

Ranma and Moka continued to stare in shock at the sudden backbone displayed by one of the most oft-victimized students in the school, and after several seconds, they finally locked gazes again between the teeth of the ice wall.

"Well... okay then. I was going to win, though," Ranma mumbled as she pulled the rosario from her pocket and tossed it over the ice.

Moka snatched it out of the air, her eyes glowing with malice. "This isn't over, Saotome. You will answer for this humiliation."

Ranma idly wondered whether she meant the humiliation of being almost beaten or the humiliation of being dressed down by a harmless human, but decided not to voice such thoughts so long as she was within Richard's arc of fire. "Whatever. I think I'll go take a nap now."

Passing by Tsukune and Richard, the pigtailed girl stopped to glare at the warlock's head, still being carried underneath Tsukune's arm. "By the way, you were trying to hit me with that icicle wall, weren't you?"

"Ooh, you noticed!" Richard replied happily. "It's really hard to aim from this vantage point, you see. I was afraid you were going to think I missed on purpose for the sake of this stupid truce!"

Tsukune wordlessly held up Richard's head to his roommate, who promptly smashed a fist into the warlock's nose.

"Thanks," Ranma mumbled as Tsukune lowered Richard's injured head. "Prof, I won't be in class today. Gotta go pick the metal shards out of my back."


By the time Tsukune turned his attention to Moka again, he found that the vampiress had reverted to her former pink-haired form, and was currently sitting on the floor and breathing heavily as her body trembled in pain.

"Moka! Are you all right?" Tsukune asked as he shoved Richard's head into the arms of his body.

The less aggressive Moka fingered the rosario once more around her neck even as she gasped for breath. "I... I remember everything," she whispered as Tsukune helped her to her feet, her face paling at the memory of the fierce and entirely pointless fight. "Tsukune, I'm... I'm so sorry. I should have told you..."

"It's all right, Moka," the human said reassuringly as he helped the limping vampiress through the hall, "you can tell me all about it later. For now, let's get you to Miss Madaraki."

Moka nodded silently, squeezing her eyes closed as she felt hot agony shoot through her body with every step. 'I can't believe it actually came to this... my inner self really fought Ranma? And lost?'

'WHOA, I didn't lose,' said a sudden voice that echoed within her head, yet seemed to emanate from the rosario.

Moka jolted at the sudden statement, and glanced at Tsukune for any sign that he had heard it too.

The human simply glanced at her in concern. "Is something wrong? Do you want me to carry you?'

Moka blushed despite her concerns for the voice in her head. "N-No thank you! It's enough that you stopped the fight! Someone could have been seriously hurt!"

'Like the pigtailed brat,' growled the inner voice, and Moka had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as she figured out who was speaking to her in her head. 'I can't believe this little insect of a human actually had the nerve to cut in like that! When did he grow a spine?'

'This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening,' Moka repeated to herself as she trudged along with Tsukune, a cold sweat breaking out over her brow.

'Next time it'll be different! I'm gonna kill that arrogant pigtailed bastard!'

Moka felt a tear stream down her cheek. It looked like her first semester was going to be a lot more complicated than she had hoped.

Notes: And more OCs rush to the fore... oh well, at least I resisted the urge to give them names or develop their personalities too far.

End Chapter 7

Big Human on Campus: Extra!

"My Lord Kuyo, one of the faculty requests your attention."

Within a large, exquisitely furnished room perched high among the central offices of Youkai Academy, a young man with long white hair and narrow, piercing eyes looked up from where he was perusing some papers. He was wearing an immaculately pressed Enforcer's uniform, and his wide forehead, devoid of bangs, sported a pair of dark spots over his eyebrows.

This man was Kuyo, leader of the Enforcers and the self-fashioned tyrant of Youkai Academy. Among the students, his will was the law, and aside from the Headmaster himself, he possessed the most power and absolute authority of anyone at the monstrous institute. With incredible personal power and a small army of utterly loyal monsters at his beck and call, Kuyo had most of the academy in the palm of his hand, and there were few indeed that would dare challenge him.

Well, there were few among the students, anyway. He was patently aware that some of the teaching staff possessed powers far beyond the mere children they taught, and that such individuals reacted poorly to his heavy-handed and entirely self-serving methods of enforcing "peace".

It was with this consideration in mind that he sighed and gave his full attention to Keito as she stood at attention before his desk. "And which member of our esteemed faculty seeks an audience without an appointment?"

"The Dark Liege, Lord Kuyo," Keito said with a hint of distaste in her voice.

Kuyo gave a disgusted grunt. She was definitely not one of the teachers he could ignore. "Inform her that she may meet with me immediately."

The leader of the Enforcers pushed aside his paperwork and steepled his fingers in front of his nose as Keito exited the room.

A few seconds later Keito re-entered the office with the familiar form of the buxom blond triclops behind her.

"Dark Liege! What a pleasant surprise to see you!" Kuyo said amiably, his lips curling into a slight smile. "How may this humble servant assist you today?"

The Dark Liege sniffed as she crossed her arms under her breasts, well aware that any display of humility and servitude was a deception on Kuyo's part.

She, like almost all the staff, were well aware of Kuyo's abuses and his ongoing failure to enforce any rules that he didn't personally care about. The Enforcers as an organization did just enough to prevent Youkai Academy from falling into complete pandemonium, and then spent the rest of their time and effort taking advantage of their authority and power.

Still, she was also aware that Kuyo could be intimidated by a sufficiently powerful plaintiff into actually doing his job, and she didn't have many other options.

"I have a problem," the Dark Liege grumbled as she twirled a lock of hair about with her finger, "and it concerns a breach of school rules, in which you and your cronies are ultimately responsible."

Kuyo nodded calmly. "Indeed. Please, tell me what happened."

"The other week several items quite valuable to me went missing from my desk," the buxom demon admitted, sighing. "They were several jewels of considerable commercial value, and much, MUCH greater personal value to me. I have reason to believe they were stolen."

"Unacceptable," Kuyo hissed, gritting his teeth as his eyes narrowed. "That the scum of this institution would steal from you is not only a crime against you, but an affront to me as the keeper of law and order of this place. This will not stand."

"I'm sure," the Dark Liege deadpanned.

"But I must ask: why have you waited until now to bring this incident to my attention?" Kuyo asked, his brow furrowing. "Surely you realize that it will be far more difficult to find your items after so much time."

The Dark Liege snorted. He was right, of course, but mostly the white-haired Enforcer was trying to leave himself an excuse for failure if and when he gave up on searching. Still, any effort to help her would have been useful...

"I didn't come to you until now because your committee has a reputation for laxity and incompetence," she spat, her hands on her hips, "but I've reached the point where any help is better than no help."

Keito seemed irritated at the insult from where she was standing at attention near the door, but Kuyo chuckled at the teacher's criticism. "I assure you, such a reputation is undeserved by my fine subordinates and colleagues. Our detractors refuse to trust us or accept our authority, and then accuse us of failure when their own fear and paranoia prevent us from helping them."

"Naturally," the blonde drawled. "In any case, I did not come here to debate the qualities and shortcomings of your committee. I wish for you to formally investigate the theft."

Kuyo pursed his lips. "Investigate?"

The Dark Liege nodded. "Yes."

"Investigate. Hm." Kuyo leaned back, his eyes staring up at the ceiling. "Investigate. Investigate."

The demonic teacher blinked. "Is... something the matter?"

"Invest... igate... Investigate," Kuyo mumbled before turning his attention back to the demon. "What an odd word. Whatever does it mean?"

The Dark Liege almost fell over in stunned disbelief. "Wh-What? Are you serious?"

Kuyo raised a hand to forestall further conversation. "Never mind, I will see to it myself. Keito!"

"Lord Kuyo?" Keito said, stepping forward with her back ramrod straight.

"Fetch the dictionary at once!" Kuyo commanded before steepling his fingers once more.

The senior Enforcer nodded as she walked over to a book case that covered one entire wall of the large, luxurious office, and she began searching through the considerable library row by row.

"Hmmm... it's not in the usual place," she murmured irritably.

"Well, it couldn't have gone far," Kuyo said as he leaned back into his chair. "We were just using it yesterday, weren't we? When that fellow came in to complain about a giant wild beast or something stalking the dorms."

Kuyo frowned and he fingered his chin. "What was the word he had us look up again? It was another 'in' word..."

"I believe it was 'integrity,' my lord," Keito said as she reached the end of the case. "Ah! Here it is!"

Kuyo smiled as his subordinate handed him the thick reference book. "Yes, that was it! Apparently it means 'soundness of moral character' or 'honesty'. What a surprise that was!"

The leader of the Enforcers opened the book and was just starting to flip to the "I" section when he realized that the Dark Liege had turned around and was slowly walking toward the door. "My Dark Liege? Is something the matter? I assure you, as soon as I find the definition I'll proceed to... do... that thing..."

"Investigate," Keito reminded her boss.

"Yes! That! We'll begin to investigate immediately! As soon as I figure out what that is."

The Dark Liege didn't stop, and she massaged her temples with one hand as her other hand opened the door. "No, that's... quite all right," she mumbled irritably as she walked out. "I think I'll go back to hoping that they'll spontaneously turn up on their own, thank you. I won't waste any more of your time."


Kuyo and Keito glanced at each other in confusion as the teacher walked out and shut the door behind her.

"What was HER problem?" Keito snapped. "Like we can be expected to learn every stupid word in the human's language that they make us speak here."

Kuyo shrugged as he flipped through the dictionary. "Ah well. Less problems for us if she decides to deal with it on her own. Ah! Here's the word. Investigate: to search out and examine the particulars of in an attempt to learn the facts about something hidden, unique, or complex, especially in an attempt to find a motive, cause, or culprit."

"Ohhhh... so THAT'S what she wanted," Keito said, leaning over her superior's shoulder before she glanced down at him. "We don't do that, do we?"

"Nope," Kuyo said, tossing the dictionary over his shoulder before he put his feet up on the desk. "I see no reason to interrupt another peaceful day at Youkai Academy by having my subordinates scurrying around and disrupting our hard-working student population."

Rrrrrumble...

Kuyo glanced over at Keito. "Did you hear that?"

"Yes, I did. I FELT that..." Keito mumbled, glancing at a glass of water and noting that the liquid was rippling from the tremor. "It almost sounded like part of the building was being knocked down in the halls."

"Yes, I thought so too..." Kuyo mumbled.

And then he picked up the piece of paper he had been perusing before the Dark Liege had demanded an audience, and went back to reading it. "I wonder what it was... oh well."