Disclaimer: I'm going to try and do that thing again. You know, the thing. Where I use other people's characters to create a story rather than just sticking in my own. What's that called again?
Oh, right! FANFICTION!

Key: Writing/Emphasis, Sounds, 'Thoughts', "Speech", (Comments that you can freely ignore)

Big Human on Campus
Chapter 1
A Bad Start

"Huh. This is kinda weird," Ranma mumbled to himself as he stared out of the windows of the bus he was on, watching as the vehicle finally left the tunnel it had entered. Immediately, Ranma had noticed that the land on this side of the tunnel was parched and dead, whereas the land on the other side had been perfectly fine. Crows populated the dead and withered trees in absurd numbers, and the very air seemed choked and dark.

In the seat across from him, Tsukune Aono gaped at the landscape as he clutched the duffle bag in his lap, quite alarmed at the change. "What the heck? What happened out there? Where are we?"

Ranma Saotome was an eighteen year old boy with black hair in a curved pigtail wearing red and black Chinese silks whose build practically defined "athletic". By contrast, Tsukune Aono practically defined the term "average". His looks were neither compelling nor unattractive, and he bore absolutely no distinguishing features. In fact, most would say that the most distinguishing thing about him was how unremarkable he looked compared to almost anyone else. His short black hair was clumsily combed into a style that was neither unfashionable nor trendy, and his brown eyes seemed plain and unassuming. His outfit was a normal school uniform, if a nicely pressed one.

Neither of the boys spoke to each other, though each had considered making some small talk on their way out of Tokyo to their new school. They had been surprised to find themselves the only passengers on the vehicle, since they had assumed there would be a rush of students trying to get on what was apparently the last bus to school this semester.

Ultimately, however, Tsukune had shied away from approaching or speaking to the other boy, and Ranma had settled on thinking quietly to himself, now that he finally had time to think.

The first thing that Ranma's mind settled on was a bitter complaint that this bus was the last one taking him to Youkai Academy. There was a certain relief with simply dashing out of Nerima without telling anyone who might have wanted to stop him, but given that he was probably going to be returning in a few months for break, he knew that there were going to be consequences for his haste. Really, between his mother and the mysterious letter he had received, he had a perfect reason to leave Nerima, and he could have at LEAST said his goodbyes to the people who wouldn't physically try to restrain him.

Across the bus, Tsukune groaned as he stared out at the creepy landscape all around him. He knew that flyer that his parents found was suspicious, but he hadn't expected things to be THIS bad when he'd finally been shipped off to school. Still, it wasn't like he had many options, what with every school he'd actually applied to rejecting him.

"Heh heh heh heh..."

Both boys turned from their thoughts toward the head of the bus where the driver, an old man with a small mustache and a pipe in his lips, had started chuckling darkly.

"Tsukune Aono," he intoned mirthfully, causing the boy in question to stiffen, "fifteen years old. Grades: straight C's. Special skills: none. A gleaming tribute to the ordinary in a sea of the unremarkable." He hadn't turned around to say any of this, keeping his eyes on the road like any sensible driver.

Tsukune looked fairly freaked out by the surprise appraisal, but Ranma straightened, assuming that he was next.

"Ranma Saotome. Eighteen years old. Grades... not applicable. Special skills: martial arts, tea ceremony, thievery, cosplay, dining, dining, ballroom dancing... etcetera. A fighter of the highest caliber, an inhuman prodigy of the martial arts."

Ranma's eyebrow twitched. "Whaddya mean 'not applicable'? They weren't THAT bad, even if I was expelled!"

Tsukune stared at the other boy in awe, though he was far too impressed by the list of skills to be bothered by the outburst that followed it.

"We're almost to Youkai Academy now," the driver cackled, turning slightly to reveal faintly glowing eyes to his passengers. "I hope you have your affairs in order, boys. And do try not to aggravate the locals; that would be a GRAVE mistake!"

Tsukune gulped. "Uh, th-they're not that bad... are they?"

"Oh, I'm DEAD serious," the driver hissed, still grinning around his pipe.

Ranma was silent for a moment, and then his eyes narrowed. "Hey, aren't you that old man from the cave?"

The driver quickly jerked he head to side, returning his gaze firmly to the road. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said quickly.

"Yeah, you're that old creep who kept making the lousy death puns and rented out those useless boats in that Cave of Lost Love place," Ranma said, looking annoyed.

"I'm afraid you're DREADFULLY mista-dammit!" The driver promptly slammed his forehead on the wheel in frustration, causing the horn to honk briefly before he lifted his head back up.

Ranma didn't say anything for a while after that, occasionally glancing out the window at the wasteland rushing by. "So, this is your day job?"

The driver grumbled a bit as he hunched over further. "It's a seasonal thing. I also give spooky fortunes and run a magic shop that keeps moving from place to place after my products screw over my customers... sometimes I entertain at birthdays."

Ranma whistled as Tsukune stared at the old man incredulously. "Wow. That plus the cave?"

"I get around," the driver mumbled, finally halting the bus with an abrupt application of the brakes. "We're here! Last stop: Youkai Academy! Watch your step! Taking a fall around here could be FATAL!"

Ranma blinked as he was about to step off of the bus. "Wait, that wasn't even a pun. You just-"

"If you want my 'A' material, try leaving a tip for once!" the driver snapped, his eyes glowering. "Now get off my bus!"


Ranma wasn't about to pay the ghoulish old man anything extra, so he hopped onto the ground and glanced at the surrounding landscape, Tsukune coming up behind him.

"What... What kind of place is this?" The shorter boy asked, staring at a sign that bore the name of the school. It was planted on what appeared to be a scarecrow with a jack o'lantern for a head, which was itself posted above a small pile of skulls, a few of which seemed to be human.

Ranma, for his part, stared out at the school, which appeared to be a massive western-style mansion with several smaller buildings clustered around it; probably the dorms. It was very dark, thanks mostly to the pall of dark clouds hanging over it and occasionally letting loose bolts of lightning behind the structure and generally giving the place a horrifying and forbidding visage.

He shuddered, hoping that it wouldn't start raining.

"S-So, I don't think I properly introduced myself, even if the driver mentioned my name. I'm Aono Tsukune," the younger boy said, bowing to Ranma.

"Oh, right. I'm Saotome Ranma," Ranma said back, bowing quickly. "We should get goin'. Classes start today, right?"

"Yeah, but..." Tsukune gulped. "Do you really think this place is a school?"

"Naw, looks like a haunted house," Ranma admitted, scratching the back of his head. "But hey, I don't see a reason why you can't teach in a haunted house, so whatever. I just hope the ghosts 'aint too much of a bother."

Tsukune gaped as he listened to his companion discuss the prospects of the undead so casually, and lifted his duffel bag to follow the martial artist.

Suddenly, Ranma halted, his eyes widening. 'Shampoo senses... tingling!' "Evade! Now!"

Sure enough, the Cha-ching! of a bicycle bell sounded behind the two boys, and Ranma suddenly dove to the side of the path with the full measure of his speed and agility.

Tsukune, who had just seen his companion shout and then seemingly blur into nothingness, simply gaped as the pigtailed boy's warning slowly penetrated his thoughts.

Crash! Ranma felt a bit guilty at the feelings of surprise and relief that came over him when Tsukune was run over by a bicycle rather than him. He had never been able to successfully avoid Shampoo's bike before, so he could only assume that the bicycle was being (rather poorly) ridden by someone else, and not his persistent Chinese suitor.

"Hey, you okay Tsukune?" He called out, stepping onto the path again.

Looking at the girl who had collapsed on top of his shorter companion, Ranma was vindicated; the girl wasn't as well-developed as Shampoo, though he had to admit she came close. Her hair was a long, dark pink, and was really cute.

There was also something... off about her, Ranma noticed almost immediately. Her aura was all wrong, and seemed to be centered around the heavy rosario cross that was hung around her neck, which was radiating far more ki energy than she was. Really bizarre, but not really important, he decided.

Tsukune hadn't answered Ranma's question, because he was quite thoroughly distracted with the beautiful creature that had suddenly just collapsed into his lap. He distantly heard Ranma's question, and thought he heard the girl mumble something about anemia, but it was very difficult for him to focus on anything other than the incredible visage in front of him.

'Cute... so cute!' was the only thing that he could think of... until a blood vessel in his nose popped, and he threw his head back. 'Ack! Tissue! Need... tissue!'

Ranma sweatdropped as he watched the scene play out before him, deciding to stay out of it. Neither of the younger kids seemed injured from the bicycle crash, and Tsukune seemed to be having a Hibiki moment with the girl that had fallen on him. She started dabbing at the blood coming from Tsukune's nose with a handkerchief, and then she started sniffing the handkerchief, for some reason.

"Your blood... I can smell it..." the girl said softly, seeming to fall into a daze as she crawled closer to Tsukune.

Ranma raised an eyebrow at the comment and watched, fairly stunned, as the strange girl drew close enough to Tsukune that their lips were only centimeters apart.

"I'm sorry, but..." the girl came even closer, and Tsukune's heart thumped almost painfully as he felt her breath spread across his lips.

"... I'm a vampire," the girl finally said, her mouth darting for Tsukune's neck and biting onto him.

Tsukune froze completely as pain surged through him, and his eyebrow twitched as the girl on top of him sucked out a good mouthful of blood. "Wh-Wh-What?"

Crack!

A sharp noise behind the pair reminded both of them that they weren't alone, and the girl, who was apparently a vampire, backed away from Tsukune while blushing. "I'm so sorry! I couldn't help myself, really!"

Then she turned around, looking up at the taller boy that was glaring at her with his hands behind his back. She couldn't see whatever it was that had made that cracking noise, though. "I'm sorry about that; I didn't mean to startle either of you."

"Did you just suck Tsukune's blood?" Ranma asked, his eyes hard.

The girl blushed deeper. "Y-Yes, but not much! He'll be fine!"

Ranma idly glanced over at his companion, who was running about frantically as blood spurted from the wound in his neck. "Uh huh..."

The girl smiled brightly at him. "My name is Akashiya Moka! What's your... uh..." She finally noticed that several bits of wood shavings and pieces were falling to the ground behind the pigtailed boy, accompanied by a constant scraping sound. "What are you doing?"

"Nothin'," Ranma answered promptly, continuing to shave the end of the branch he'd broken off into a point using a sharp rock. He'd never fought a vampire before, but he'd seen a few shows about it thanks to Hiroshi, and if that Buffy chick could pull it off then so could he.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow..." Tsukune panted as he clamped a hand over his neck, quite alarmed and generally upset at the turn of events.

"Are you okay? I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to do that," Moka said, turning back to her "victim". "Well, I mean, I DID mean to do that, but I couldn't resist! I hope it didn't hurt too much!"

"Wh-What, this? Th-This is nothing!" Tsukune said reflexively, gritting his teeth against the pain.

Moka looked relieved at the admission, and Ranma frowned before snapping his hand to one side.

Thock!

Moka turned around at the noise and then blinked when she saw a two-foot long wooden stake embedded firmly in the trunk of a tree to the side of the road. She glanced over at Ranma, then back to the tree, which was still shaking slightly from a recent impact. Then she looked at Ranma again.

"What?" He asked innocently.

Turning away uncertainly, Moka addressed Tsukune again. "I'm Akashiya Moka! What's your name?"

"Oh, I'm Aono Tsukune," Tsukune said somewhat nervously, surprised and a little ashamed that he had gotten to second base with a girl who didn't even know his name. 'Wait, does that count as second base? Are there special rules for biting?'

After a few seconds, he noticed Moka glancing uncomfortably at Ranma. "Oh, sorry. This is Saotome Ranma. Saotome, this is Akashiya Moka."

"Hi," Ranma said casually, his expression not quite reaching a smile as he stepped up next to Tsukune. "Not to rush you guys, but we're kind of running late as it is. Let's hurry up, eh?" Without asking permission, he took up Moka's bike and hoisted it up easily so that he was carrying it over his shoulder.

Moka looked a bit surprised at the feat, but recovered quickly, moving to keep pace with the boys.

"So, uhm..." she blushed slightly as the others glanced at her, and her eyes locked with Tsukune. "Your blood is very delicious, by the way."

Ranma desperately fought off a disparaging comment as Tsukune's eyes twitched.

"Is... that so?" The latter said awkwardly.

"Do you... not like vampires?" Moka asked timidly.

"Are you kidding?" Tsukune said, laughing almost hysterically, "I love vampires!" He didn't really know why he said that, but Moka's face brightened instantly at the admission, and he suddenly found it hard to regret.

"That's great! Then we can be friends!" Smiling brilliantly, Moka turned her head up slightly to address Ranma. "Do you like vampires, Ranma?"

"Nah," the pigtailed boy said immediately.

The atmosphere promptly seemed to chill several degrees, and Moka's face darkened. "Ah... oh... I see..."

Tsukune gulped at the sudden tension, and immediately moved to dispel it. "Well, come on, now! How many vampires have you actually known, Ranma?"

"None, really," Ranma admitted, shrugging his shoulders. He could admit that it wasn't like him to be so cold toward someone he'd just met, but Moka's biting into Tsukune had agitated his protective instincts, strange as it was for him to be protecting another man.

Well, okay, on top of that, the "vampire" thing didn't help one bit, it was true. Ranma had not had ANY good experiences with the undead, and he was still getting an uncomfortable vibe from this girl.

Tsukune laughed nervously, feeling that Ranma's admission hadn't really changed the tension in the air. "I'm sure that once we all get to know each other we'll be great friends! No problem at all!"

"Yeah... I'm sure you're right," Moka said uncertainly. "Anyway, I have to take off now. I'll see you after the commencement ceremony, all right Tsukune?"

Tsukune scratched the back of his head as Ranma put Moka's bike down wordlessly. "Oh, sure! I'll see you then. Bye!"

Ranma felt mildly cheated when he entered the main hall of Youkai Academy, seeing that it looked a lot less spooky on the inside than the outside. Although it seemed like a mansion externally, now that he and Tsukune had entered after the commencement it looked a lot more like a school, complete with bulletin boards and groups of students milling about.

There wasn't much Ranma had to say about the commencement ceremony, because he had spent the entire time engrossed in checking out the battle auras of everyone around him. It amazed him once he realized it, but it seemed that nearly everyone had a really strange aura around here. Not strange in the same way Moka's was, but in all sorts of ways. There were really big ones, abnormally small ones, people who didn't seem to have ki at all, and a few who seemed to constantly bleed energy like miniature suns.

Tsukune didn't have much to say about the commencement ceremony either, because he had spent most of it in a pleasant daze. 'I touched Moka's leg,' he thought dreamily. 'It was so soft...'

The younger boy sighed. "She sure was cute, huh? Pretty hard to believe that story about her being a vampire."

Ranma gave him an odd glance. "Tsukune, she BIT you. Hard."

"I don't think she meant anything by it," Tsukune insisted. "And besides, I'm fine now. You don't really think she was trying to hurt me, do you?"

Ranma frowned, scratching his head underneath his pigtail. "Naw, I guess not. Sure didn't seem like the type to hurt anyone." Then his eyes narrowed. "But I tend not to trust people who suck blood on principle."

Tsukune winced at that. When Ranma put it that way, his reaction to Moka earlier seemed a lot more reasonable. When Ranma said up-front that he didn't like vampires, it sounded wrong, like some kind of twisted racism. The blood-sucking thing, though...

"Well, let's just forget about it for now," Tsukune said, heading for his classroom. "You should probably find your own class, Ranma."

Ranma frowned, and then pulled out a folded sheet of paper from his pocket. "Uh... this is my class."

Tsukune blinked. "What? But this is my homeroom. That would mean..."

The pigtailed boy stared down at Tsukune, recalling what the driver had said about the boy's age.

Then his eyebrow twitched as he came to a realization. "God DAMN it! They made me a freshman again!"

A few moments later saw Tsukune seated in his new classroom, Ranma having taken the seat next to him as he alternately grumbled irritably or cast nervous glances at the homeroom teacher.

The teacher, a rather cute, petite woman with a bright smile and a pair of fashionable glasses on her face, introduced herself as Nekonome Shizuka as she prepared to start class.

Ranma flinched at the name. 'Nekonome? Naw, it's a coincidence. Total coincidence. I mean, she hardly even looks like a cat.' The teacher did have a few tufts of her brown hair that came together to look suspiciously like cat ears, but he did his best to brush it off.

"All right, everyone, let's get started!" Shizuka said brightly. "As an introduction, allow me to reiterate the school's function and curriculum!" She wrote out the kanji for "Youkai" on the board, and then turned her grinning face toward her class. "Youkai... is a school for monsters!"

Tsukune's face darkened instantly. Ranma blinked.

"Like it or not, humans pretty much rule the world nowadays," the feline teacher said, drawing a crude picture of the earth on the chalkboard and adding some stick-figure people on top. "In order for us monsters to survive in the human world, we have to learn how to coexist peacefully with humans! That's Youkai Academy's mission!"

'That's ridiculous! Is this some sort of joke? What's happening?' Tsukune thought, glancing left and right as he panicked.

'That explains EVERYTHING,' Ranma thought to himself, nodding. 'Well, everything other than why I'm here, actually.'

"Which brings us to rule number one!" Shizuka cheered. "You must maintain your human form at ALL TIMES! Don't let any of your classmates know your true form! This is important practice for disguising yourself in the human world!"

Ranma scratched his head and was about to raise his hand when another student suddenly piped up.

"Why don't we just EAT all the humans?" The man who said this looked a bit too old to be a freshman, but now that Ranma knew that his classmates were simply in disguise, it didn't seem like a big deal. He had mussy blond hair and an arrogant sneer that seemed to be permanently attached to his mouth along with the silver piercing on his lower lip.

"I'll take the cute girls, myself," he followed up, his lip curling.

"No, no, we can't do that! Youkai exists to teach peaceful coexistence!" Shizuka chided. "Besides, you don't have to worry about running into any humans here. All the students and faculty are monsters in disguise, just like you."

"Well, not quite all of 'em," Ranma said suddenly, speaking up. "I'm human, so what's the deal? Why'd I get sent to a place like this?"

Tsukune, who had been panicking at the thought of all his classmates being monsters, turned to gape at the pigtailed boy along with most of the class. 'Did he really just say that out loud? What is he thinking? He could get hurt!'

Ranma glanced around, noticing all of the stunned stares. Which made sense, he supposed, since he wasn't supposed to be here. He guessed Tsukune wasn't either, although he couldn't be sure that his companion wasn't just an unusually ordinary type of monster or something.

"You're... human?" Shizuka asked, her hair-ear twitching. She had been about to follow up her last assertion with something along the lines of "No human has ever seen Youkai Academy... and lived!" but now that there seemed to be an actual human in her class by accident, she didn't know what to do. She didn't really want to see anybody killed, but from the way some of the stunned stares were shifting into hateful glares, she guessed that the situation was out of her paws. Er, hands.

"So... you're a human, huh?" Said the boy with the piercings, slowly pushing himself up from his desk. "And you just come right out and admit it? Heh. Heh heh heh!"

Several of the other students looked like they were going to get up too, but winced and stayed seated once the blond boy started chuckling. Ranma simply looked up curiously as the taller student walked up to his desk.

"You know, it really is a wonder your kind owns the world," the boy said, a feral grin on his face.

Ranma just tapped his pen on his desk rhythmically, looking mildly annoyed at the encounter.

"Especially when you're so bad at SURVIVAL!" He puncuated the last word by thrusting his hand at Ranma's head, the skin stretching and swelling to reveal huge, hard fingers tipped with pointed claws.

Ranma, for his part, leaned back sharply in his chair, letting the attack pass in front of him as he balanced his chair on its back two legs.

Then he brought up his pen, catching the other student's wrist with the cap before snapping the implement upward.

WHAM! CRASH! The other students' eyes widened as Ranma's attacker was sent flying into, and then through, the ceiling above, and Tsukune covered his head as several small pieces of debris fell down on top of him.

"Actually," Ranma finally said, flipping his pen around in his fingers as he let his chair fall back into place, "I'm pretty good at survival." His statement was accompanied by a smug grin. Happousai's kinetic re-direction technique wasn't much use to him in a real battle, but was great for casually impressing people who might have thought that he was some sort of weakling.

There was another stunned silence as the other students stared at Ranma while occasionally glancing at the hole in the ceiling.

Finally, one of the students seated behind Ranma snorted. "Oh, right! Some 'human' we got here! Ha! That was great!"

Ranma blinked. "Huh?"

Shizuka smiled brightly. "Ah, I see! Everyone, notice that Mister Saotome's disguise was near perfect! He even defended himself without changing forms or using an obvious monstrous ability! Even I was fooled into thinking he might have actually been human!"

"But... no. I really am," Ranma insisted awkwardly, noticing that most of the class was smiling at him. "I'm really human. Seriously."

"Of course you are!" the teacher said, winking. "And so are the rest of us, right?"

"No, no, I'm not kidding around," Ranma insisted, not noticing as Moka suddenly entered the classroom, "I'm one-hundred percent, completely human!"

Moka immediately froze in the middle of her greeting and apology for being late.

Tsukune, who had noticed her right away, blinked as the vampiress seemed to pale slightly, looking extremely upset.

"Okay, okay, we understand," Shizuka said to Ranma, clearly not understanding at all. "That's fine, but we have to get to work, okay?" Then she turned toward Moka. "Hello, are you late?"

Moka promptly snapped out of her daze, and then bowed respectfully to the teacher. "Yes, sorry about that. I'm Akashiya Moka, reporting for homeroom."

"Okay! You can take that seat over there, next to Mister Aono!" the unnaturally feline teacher said, pointing to the desk next to Tsukune.

Whud! Almost immediately after she said this, the body of the blond boy Ranma had sent flying tumbled back down through the hole in the ceiling, causing another brief shower of dust and debris before he landed painfully on top of the empty desk.

Tsukune flinched away at the impact, and then stood up hesitantly. "Uh... here, I'll help you clear it," he offered, his brain pretty much running on autopilot at this point.

"Oh! Thank you so much, Tsukune! I'm so glad we're in the same class after all!" Moka said cheerfully, pointedly ignoring Ranma as she walked up to her new desk.


For his part, the pigtailed boy glanced about irritably as most of the guys in class leered at the newest student and whispered loudly about how cute she was.

'I can't believe these idiots actually think I'm some kind of monster,' he grumbled mentally. 'Well, I'll fix that later. Then again, I'm kinda wondering why I'm even here.'

He scratched his head as he watched the body of that punk that had attacked him roll onto the floor. 'A school for monsters, huh? Sounds interesting, but it's not like I need lessons in how to survive around humans. Maybe I should get out of here. There has to be some other school that'd take me...'

'This... This feels like a dream,' Tsukune thought, his mind a soft, gentle haze as Moka walked with him through the school halls with her arm entwined in his. 'Aw, so what if this is a monster school? Who's afraid of monsters, anyway?'

"Wow, isn't this hall beautiful? This place is great!" Moka said, looking at the archaic staircase and great bronze statues that decorated the main hall.


Behind the pair, several of the male students began whispering and gaping as Moka passed by.

"I've never seen anyone so hot!"

"Do you think it's just a really good human form?"

"Who cares! I want her!"

"Who's that guy she's with?"

"Looks like a loser to me."

"Whatever. If he gets in the way he's toast!"


Tsukune shuddered as a chill crept down his back, and Moka gave him a questioning look.

"Tsukune? Is something wrong?"

He gave her a nervous smile. "No, not really. I just got a little cold all of a sudden, that's all."

"That reaction's pretty normal when guys are compared to me," a third voice said suddenly, causing the pair to turn around.

Standing over them was the boy that Ranma had taken out earlier, looking down at Moka with a feral grin.

All things considered, he didn't look that bad off, although he had a few band-aids over one side of his face and Tsukune could see some bandage wrappings peeking out from the sleeve of the arm that had struck at the martial artist.

"The name's Komiya Saizo, beautiful," Saizo said, looming over Moka. "I'm sorry I... missed your introduction to the class, but that little punk with the pigtail cold-cocked me back there."

"Uh... h-hi. I'm Moka," the vampiress said uncertainly.


"Hey, is that Saizo?" One of the other students whispered, peeking around a corner from where he had been watching the pink-haired vampire.

"I think it is! I heard that he's always messing with girls. Human girls! He caused so much trouble that he ended up here!"

"Man, I would NOT want to be in that little punk's shoes right now."

Ranma, who had just emerged from the bathroom behind the group of voyeurs, stopped and blinked before moving to join them to see what was happening.


"Nice to meet ya, babe," Saizo said smoothly, his gaze finally falling on her companion. "Got a question, though. Why's a hottie like you hangin' out with trash like THIS?" At the last word, he grabbed a surprised Tsukune up by the collar and hefted him into the air. "Sheesh. I'm scraped gunk off my shoes better looking than this piece of... eh?"

Saizo stopped as he felt something tap his shoulder, and with an irritated snort he looked behind him.

Ranma glared evenly at the taller boy, his arms crossed over his chest. "You just run around LOOKING for trouble, don't you?"

Ignoring Saizo's suddenly enraged expression, Ranma's eyes shifted to Tsukune. "Hey Tsukune, you all right?"

"B-B-Been b-better," the hapless human whimpered, still held in the air.

Saizo growled and promptly grabbed Ranma by the front of his shirt with his free hand before hauling him up to an altitude equal to Tsukune. He was further enraged when Ranma didn't look at all put out by the action, simply staring at him coldly. "You caught me by surprise before by lying about your being human, but-"

"I wasn't lying!" Ranma snapped suddenly. "I'm a human! Get over it!" There were a few alarmed whispers from the onlookers after this statement, but for the most part the other students watched the scene in a tense silence.

Saizo snorted. "Yeah, right! No human could pull that little stunt back there in the classroom!" His furious snarl shifted into a grin. "You know what humans CAN do? They can scream real good as I take their arms and rip 'em from their sockets! They can cry pathetically as I cut 'em open with my claws! They can beg for mercy as I slowly crush them against the ground!"

His grin got even bigger, and Tsukune gulped. "And that's just the guys. Now female humans, they have... other talents."

Ranma's gaze was icy as he stared up at the bigger student. "You know what else humans can do? This."

Without further warning, he grabbed hold of the arm grasping his shirt at the same time he planted his feet against Saizo's chest for extra leverage.

CRACK! The surrounding students stared bug-eyed as Ranma twisted Saizo's forearm a full one hundred and eighty degrees, snapping his forearm bones like twigs and eliciting an expression of shocked agony from the heavily pierced monster.

Needless to say, Saizo's grip slackened instantly, and Tsukune fell into a heap next to Moka as Ranma landed lightly on his feet.

The pigtailed man didn't bother giving Saizo a chance to reply or counter, and smashed a foot into the boy's stomach to double him over before striking him with a hammer punch to the back of the head that sent the lecherous monster onto the floor.


Ranma debated stomping on Saizo's head for good measure, but relented instead, glaring down at the twitching figure beneath him. Honestly, the initial surge of rage that had entered him as he'd thought of Saizo tearing innocent people apart had implored him to kill the other student outright, but he had struggled to retain control of his emotions.

After all, he didn't really know much about Saizo, and he was very familiar with people who had more bark than bite. Saizo could have just been talking tough, and he wasn't willing to end someone's life so easily, even if the boy was a monster.

'Then again, this school is supposed to make sure monsters can live in peace with humans, so it'd be a shame if I killed the bastard before he got the chance to learn anything,' he thought grudgingly. 'Learning that not all humans are helpless victims will be a good first lesson.'

Ranma started to turn toward Tsukune to check on the boy when he noticed that he was being dragged away by Moka.

"Hey, Tsukune, you all right?" He called, starting to approach them.

Tsukune started to reply when Moka suddenly tugged him back.

"Tsukune's hanging out with me now!" the vampiress said sharply, glaring at Ranma. "Now leave us alone!"

Before either of the humans could say anything about the matter, Moka took off with Tsukune still in hand practically dragging the boy away at high speed.


Ranma, for his part, scratched his head in confusion. "Geez, what's HER problem?" He realized that he had been really rude when they first met, having briefly considered piercing her heart with a wooden spike, but he didn't see what he had done to deserve THIS kind of treatment.

Of course, mostly people probably didn't think of contemplating murder so lightly, but Ranma tended to call such situations "Monday". Usually followed by Attempted Murder Tuesdays, but that was another story.

"Wow, did you see that? That guy put down Saizo! That was amazing!" A nearby boy said to his friend.

"Well, it wasn't exactly a real fight," Ranma scoffed, idly kicking at Saizo's body and failing to notice as the boy's eyes glowed a fierce, bloody red briefly, "and it's not like this idiot's that tough. The bullies in my old high school were way stronger than this."

"No kiddin'!" Another student asked excitedly, joining a small crowd that had gathered around Ranma. "So spill! What kinda monster are you?"

"I'm human," Ranma said flatly, arms over his chest. "Weren't you paying attention during the fight? Human, human, human."

"Yeah, okay, you're human. But seriously," one of the shorter ones leaned forward, whispering. "It's all right, we won't tell anybody. What are you?"

"I told you, I'm a human!" Ranma growled, causing the monsters to flinch away.

"Lay off 'im Kaina, he's just following the rules," a lanky student said.

"No, I'm not! I'm really human!" Ranma said, almost shouting as he stamped a foot onto the ground. "You know what? The heck with this! I'm gonna go after Tsukune!"

The pigtailed boy jumped forward, pointedly ignoring a quick swipe for his legs made with a pair of twisted black talons that had grown from Saizo's crumpled body.

Without giving a single glance back at his defeated opponent or the annoying crowd, Ranma leapt through a nearby window and out into the courtyard.

"Moka, what's wrong? Why'd you say that to Ranma?" Tsukune asked, staring at the vampire girl cautiously. They were now in a yard behind the main building. Most of the students seemed to be getting accustomed to the main grounds, so they were alone.

Moka looked anxious as she regarded Tsukune. "Tsukune, you should stay away from Ranma from now on. He's not a good person."

The statement struck Tsukune like a hammer blow. "Wh-What? How do you figure that?" Granted, he didn't know Ranma that well, but considering that the older boy had defended him from Saizo, had been ready to defend him from Moka, and seemed to be the only other human on campus, he was well on his way to considering the martial artist his closest friend.

"Didn't you hear him? He's a human!" Moka said, her eyes creased with concern.

Tsukune gulped. "Oh? That? You don't really believe that, do you?" Of course he believed that Ranma was a human, but he wasn't about to admit that now. Besides, if it weren't for Tsukune's trusting naievette coupled with his desperate hope that he wasn't the only human on campus, he wouldn't have believed it either. "I mean, you saw what he did to Saizo back there. Do you really think that a human could pull that off?"

"Yes, I do," Moka said weakly. "They're pretty rare, but I've heard stories about vampire hunters before. Humans with amazing strength and skill that they put to use to kill my kind. I think he was telling the truth."

Tsukune blanched. "You think Ranma's a vampire hunter?"

"Well... maybe not," the vampiress said, frowning cutely. "I don't think he'd have let me live this long if he was, but that was just an example. He's definitely human."

And then her face shifted into a scowl. "And I HATE humans!"

Tsukune flinched. "Wha?" If Moka's warning had been a hammer blow, this admission struck him more like a freight train.

"I went to a human middle school," Moka explained, her expression hardening slightly. "I was so lonely there! They all said that monsters didn't exist and were just stupid stories! I never made any friends and I always felt terrible. After a while I started to feel like maybe it was better if I really didn't exist!"

Moka's face brightened considerably, although Tsukune's expression still seemed rather ashen. "That's why I was so happy when you said that you loved vampires! You're my first true friend, Tsukune!"

Tsukune's mouth worked soundlessly as he groped for something to say, but Moka continued, her face turning sour again.

"I don't know how Ranma got here, but he won't be here long. Either he'll leave on his own or he'll be driven out. And good riddance. We don't need his kind here."

Tsukune flinched again, and he balled his hands into fists as he finally forced the words from his throat. "Moka... what if... what if I told you that I was one of those humans that you hate?"

Moka froze. "Wh-What? Tsukune, stop kidding around."

"I'm not kidding!" He snapped angrily, backing away. "I am! I'm a human, just like Ranma! I ended up here by mistake. But so what? Is that so terrible?"

The vampire girl stepped back, her expression uncertain and fearful. "N-No way... there's no way that... not both of you..."

Tsukune was silent for several seconds before he turned away. "I see. Now that you know, that's how you look at me, huh? Fine. I was debating whether to leave the school anyway, and this clinches it. Goodbye."


Moka watched forlornly as Tsukune stalked off, looking about as close as the boy possibly could to furious.

'I can't believe it,' she thought weakly, slumping to her knees. 'He was a human all along? How did this happen?'

After a few moments of sulking, Moka glanced upward as she spied a red and black figure dashing around the corner of the school and vanishing in a blur. She only knew of one student that wore bright red on campus, and she correctly identified the figure as Ranma.

'I can't believe I was so stupid. Of course he was human. And there's no way he'd side with me against his own kind.'

She sighed.

'It's for the best that he leaves. Both of them. They'll never be accepted here, just like I was never accepted among humans. They don't belong here. I mean, when you think about it, there's no reason at all for them to stay with a bunch of dangerous students that will just end up hating them.'

Something about that last thought bothered her, and Moka frowned as she recalled the last thing Tsukune said before he left. 'Wait... he said he was debating whether or not to leave... but why would he stay? Does that mean...' her eyes widened. 'He was willing to stay just to be with me? He was going to put up with all the monsters and risk his life just because I was his friend?'

It seemed inconceivable to her, but the facts were clear. Tsukune had stated outright that Moka's rejection was the main factor in his decision to leave the school, which implied that the only reason he might have actually stayed, risking his life and sanity amongst a bunch of monsters, was to be with her. There might have been other reasons, but she sure couldn't think of any.

'I've made a terrible mistake!'

Moka stood up and was about to run after Tsukune when a loud crash came from behind her, causing her to whirl around.

Her eyes widened as a huge monster with long claws and one arm badly mangled shouldered through the wall of the school building, stomping past her without so much as a glance while growling hatefully.

"Was that... Saizo?" Moka asked, stunned as the creature took off ahead of her. "Wait... is he following Ranma? Oh no! Tsukune!"

"Hey Tsukune. You all right?"

Tsukune whirled around at the voice, and was immensely relieved to see Ranma come up behind him, hopping down from a tree. Although he found it odd that the older boy was bounding around in trees like a monkey, that detail hardly seemed important now.

"Hi Ranma. I'm... I'm sorry about what happened back there. Thank you for saving me from Saizo," he said profusely.

"No problem man, I was looking for an excuse to paste him anyway." Ranma noted that the smaller boy still looked quite depressed, and had his luggage with him. "You takin' off for good?"

Tsukune nodded. "I'm a human. I don't belong here. Heck, if it weren't for you I might already be dead! And since Moka apparently hates me, there's nothing left for me here." He scowled briefly, then glanced up at the older boy. "What about you? Are you leaving?"

Ranma scratched the back of his head. "Eh, I might as well. This school 'aint bad, but it 'aint good either. I don't mind all the monsters, but it's gonna be really annoying to start out as a freshman again, and since I AM a human, I don't think I need classes on how to act human, you know?"

Actually, Tsukune figured that Ranma could have used a little tutoring on that particular subject, but decided to remain silent.

Before the pair could continue talking, the old bus that had transported them to this place lumbered up behind Tsukune, stopping along the path with a hiss of steam.

"Huh. Well, I guess this's our bus," Ranma said, shrugging his shoulders.

Tsukune was a bit weirded out by the way the vehicle had arrived just as he and Ranma had concluded they were going to leave, but decided not to question his good fortune. "Aren't you going to get your backpack?"

Ranma shrugged. "Nah, there's nothing in there that I can't replace easily, and I don't know how often this bus runs. Probably best to just leave now."

At that moment the door opened, and the driver from before slowly stepped out onto the path, puffing on his pipe as he grinned at the teenagers.

"What's with the GHASTLY expressions, kids? Giving up on this place already?"

Ranma fought the urge to snap back at the phrase "giving up," but restrained himself.

Tsukune had no such reservations. "Yeah, I'm done. This place is too dangerous for me!"

"Ha ha ha!" The driver laughed, taking the pipe out of his mouth. "I knew you kids didn't stand a GHOST of a chance! Your tickets, please?"

Ranma and Tsukune blinked. "Tickets?" They asked in tandem.

"Well, of course! The school covers trips to get students here and to send them home after the semester, as well as school trips, but if you want to leave now, I'm afraid there's a MONSTER of a fee for you pay!"

Ranma's eyebrow twitched irritably. "I don't really have any money..."

Tsukune gulped as he opened his wallet, hoping that he had enough for him and Ranma. It was the least he could do after the older boy had saved him from that bully Saizo. "Will... 4,000 yen cover two tickets?"

The driver's response was to laugh heartily, and Ranma's face darkened.

"I'm afraid you're FATALLY mistaken if you think you can get out that cheaply! Why, getting out of here could cost you an ARM or a-"

"I don't think that was a good idea," Tsukune said worriedly as he stared at the bus driver. The man's head had been smashed into the engine block of the bus he was responsible for, and seemed to be stuck there rather firmly from what he could tell.

Ranma dusted off his hands, feeling much better after shutting up the old geezer. "Why? You think he didn't deserve that?"

"Well, that's less important than the fact that I think he's the only one who can drive that bus," Tsukune admitted.

Ranma froze as he considered this. "Oh. Good point." Then he shrugged. "Well, it's not like he was going to take us anyway."

"True, but how else are we supposed to get home? I don't know the way back from here, do you?" The shorter boy asked, gesturing to the land around him. "Heck, I don't even know where 'here' is!"

"Yeah, but..." Ranma trailed off as he heard a distant pounding noise, and then frowned. "Hold that thought, okay? Oh, and find some cover."

"Huh?" Tsukune blinked in confusion for a moment before he heard the sound too, and his eyes widened as he noticed something large and human-shaped charging from behind the withered trees.


Crack! Crash! Saizo snarled as he ripped through the trees in his way with his good arm, the dry wood snapping and giving way before his bulk and muscle.

'I don't care what it takes! I don't care who gets in my way!' he snarled, his rage lighting up his eyes for all to see. 'I'm gonna take that pigtailed son of a goblin and gut him like a fish!'

Catching sight of something large to the side, Saizo hopped over a short cobblestone wall and beheld the target of his fury standing casually in the middle of the road in front of the school's only bus.

"Huh. Saizo, right?" Ranma asked, looking totally unconcerned as he stared up at the snarling monstrosity.

Saizo was now a hulking brute of a monster, over ten feet tall and bulging with muscle. His teeth had elongated and sharpened to points, as had his fingernails, which were probably the least threatening aspects of the two gigantic, man-sized fists the beast possessed. He still sported his earlier wound, as one of the fists was upside-down, but it didn't seem nearly as debilitating in this form.

"So you tried to run, huh? Guess you didn't make it in time," Saizo growled, choking out a short laugh as a long, wet tongue swung from between his lips.

"Yeah, guess not. Poor me," Ranma said, sounding bored. "But hey, at least I got to see something interesting before I left. I NEVER would've guessed your true form!"

Saizo hesitated, looking surprised. It was very difficult for people to guess his true form because he was a monstrel, a monster hybrid. Was this pigtailed brat really so well-versed in monster breeds that he could tell at a glance?

Ranma grinned. "You're one of those Barnum & Bailey rejects, aren't you?"

The sound of the vein popping up on Saizo's head very nearly shook the Earth.

"DIE, SCUM!" Saizo snarled, plowing a fist down toward Ranma, who leapt out of the way with ease, rebounding off the side of the bus.

"You can't run forever! Nothing's gonna keep me from killing you!"

"Wow, my first day and I've already made a mortal enemy," Ranma said, more to himself than the monster that was swiping at him clumsily. "I have to ask: do schools have a special program for this sort of thing? Is there a guy who heads out as soon as I arrive, finds the most unstable lunatic in school, and assigns him to attack me? Between you, Ryoga, and Kuno, I'm starting to think it isn't a coincidence."

"Shut... UP!" Saizo snarled, swiping over Ranma as he ducked and then trying to stomp on the boy only for him to vanish in a blur. "Gaaaaaargh! I'm sick of this!"

Ranma bounced backward, hands in his pockets as the beast roared, wondering if his opponent was going to do anything interesting. So far, this guy had only displayed maybe a third of Ryoga's power and something around a hundredth of the skill. Besides being huge, which tripled the potential avenues of attack, he telegraphed his moves to the extent that he'd probably have to stop and give Ranma written notice in order to become more predictable.

'I hope this guy can do SOMETHING interesting,' he thought, sighing.

With a fierce grunt, Saizo grabbed the wrist of his shattered left arm.

Crack! Ranma blinked as the giant monster twisted the limb back into place, pausing only a moment before it flexed the fingers sluggishly.

"Huh. That's kind of neat," Ranma admitted, though it was rather crude, certainly. "Why didn't you do that earlier?"'

"Because shut up," Saizo growled. "Now it's your turn, little punk. Show me what you got."

"What, AGAIN? You just fixed your arm, and you want me to put it back already?" Ranma asked.

Saizo let out an incoherent snarl as he loomed over the martial artist. "I mean it's time you showed me your true form, bastard! I'm sick of swatting at gnats! Show me what I'm up against!"

Ranma glowered at the towering giant, his hand twitching into a fist as a thin blue aura enveloped him. "For the LAST TIME... I. Am. Human!"

And then Ranma's form seemed to vanish in a bright blue haze.

Tsukune grimaced as he ducked behind the bus, keeping himself safely out of the line of fire as Ranma fought. Personally he thought it was foolish for him to fight since they had ample time to get away, but the pigtailed boy insisted that he could win, and Tsukune wasn't going to argue.

"Tsukune! There you are!"

He blinked as he heard a familiar feminine voice behind him, and the boy raised an eyebrow as Moka dashed across the blasted plain toward the bus he was hiding behind.

"Thank goodness I'm not too late! I was afraid you'd already left!" Moka said, putting a hand against her chest as she reached Tsukune. She could hear heavy impacts and a pained grunting coming from the other side of the bus, but at the moment she was too relieved to care.

"Why did you come? What do you want?" Tsukune asked suspiciously, clutching his bag to his chest.

"I wanted to apologize," Moka said, a tear leaking from the corner of her eye. "I was so happy that I'd finally found a real friend, and it was so stupid of me to think of you as a different person just because you're human. Obviously you're different from the humans I knew before, and I can't believe I didn't realize that right away."

Tsukune's gaze softened, and his shoulders slumped. 'Wow, she really came all the way back here to apologize to me? Do I mean that much to her? We only met this morning!'

His expression hardening, Tsukune spoke. "Moka, I want to be your friend too!"

"Really?" Moka asked, more tears spilling from her eyes.

"Geez, a little overdramatic, aren't ya?"

Tsukune and Moka jerked their heads up toward Ranma, who was squatting on the roof of the bus and looking down at them.

Moka's expression soured. "Do you mind? We're kind of having a moment, here."

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "I'm just sayin', you had a little fight and you're gettin' all teary-eyed over it. It's not like one of you had to rescue the other from a martial arts prince or what's that look for?" he asked suddenly, noticing that Tsukune's eyes widened.

Ranma let out a cry of surprise as a gigantic, blood-soaked hand closed around him, snatching him off of the roof and back into the tussle on the other side of the bus.

"Where were we? Oh, right." Moka immediately grabbed onto Tsukune's shoulders, smiling again as she ignored the boy's panicked expression. "I thought it was impossible for me to have a human friend; I'm a vampire, and that means we have to feed on human blood. It made me so happy when I found someone who didn't mind letting me have some of his blood, and when I really thought you were going to leave for good..."

Tsukune, though feeling conflicted about putting aside Ranma's fate for the sake of his dramatic conversation, took Moka's hands, smiling as he gazed into her eyes. "Well, I'm hardly an expert on human-monster relations, but why can't a vampire and the human she feeds on be friends? If you're willing to accept me even though I'm a human, then I can accept you even though you're a vampire!"

Moka sniffled slightly, wiping her eyes as she smiled brightly. "Thank you, Tsukune!" She said, hugging the boy tightly and eliciting a surprised squeak from him.

After a few seconds, she pulled away reluctantly. "I suppose we should go see if Ranma's okay..." she blinked in surprise as things suddenly got darker for a moment, and quickly realized that she had been briefly eclipsed from something passing overhead.

THUD! Both of them jumped as Saizo's monstrous body plowed into the dirt, leaving a shallow imprint in the ground shaped like his huge, twitching body.

"Yeah, I think Ranma's fine," Tsukune deadpanned, moving around the front of the bus to seek out his other friend.

Ranma was standing in the middle of a field of shallow impact craters, grimacing at the blood on his arms and clothes. "Aw, man, I got Saizo on my shirt. And his blood is the wrong shade of red, too. Crap."

He looked up toward Tsukune, who was sweatdropping at the sight. "Hey, Tsukune, I don't think I can leave the academy forever with you after all; I really have to go back and change, now."

More sweatdrops rolled down Tsukune's brow as he considered Ranma changing a major decision like that based on the status of his laundry. "That's okay, I'm not leaving either."

"You're not?" Moka asked hopefully. "Really? You're going to stay here after all?"

"Of course! As long as I have you guys, I'm sure I'll be fine!" Tsukune said happily, clenching a hand into a fist.

Ranma smirked as he joined the others in walking back toward campus. "Heh. You're all right, Tsukune."

Moka's nose wrinkled, and her expression got a lot less happy as she gazed over at the other boy. "Ewww... that's so gross..."

"Yeah, I KNOW. That's why I wanna go back and wash," Ranma said irritably, his good mood evaporating as quickly as Moka's. "Besides, don't you drink this stuff, anyway?"

"I don't drink MONSTER blood! Yuck! It smells awful!" the vampiress complained.

"Yeesh, where do you get off bein' so picky?" the pigtailed boy said condescendingly. "Blood is blood, right?"

"You don't know ANYTHING!" Moka snapped, fuming angrily.

Tsukune sighed lightly as the two continued snapping at each other. 'I guess they still don't get along, even if she's no longer upset about him being human,' he thought. 'It's going to be a long semester, isn't it?'

"Th-These are the dorms?" Tsukune asked shakily, staring up at the decrepit-looking apartment building.

The student residences, it seemed, were as run-down and spooky as everything else in this place, at least as far as the exterior was concerned. Large dead trees and gravestones littered the grounds outside of the building, and rats scurried across the dirt as they were hunted by tremendous, hairy spiders.

"This place is great! I've never seen a building with so much personality!" Moka said happily, causing Tsukune to grimace.

The only normal person in the trio turned toward Ranma, who had lowered himself into a crouch as he observed one of the larger tarantulas. "Wh-What do you think, Ranma?"

"I think these spiders are big enough to eat any cats that wander around here," he said firmly, turning a serious expression toward Tsukune and giving the younger boy a thumbs-up. "As far as I'm concerned, this place looks fine."

Tsukune honestly wasn't sure which stamp of approval disturbed him more.

"Hey Tsukune, you got into a double, right?" Ranma asked, taking Tsukune's papers from trembling fingers. "I thought so! Looks like we're roomies!"

"Oh, that's good," the shorter boy said, feeling genuine relief. "I wouldn't want to have to share a room with someone like Saizo, and it's better that we room together, so that it's easier to keep our secret."

"How'd you find out about the curse?" Ranma asked, looking shocked.

Moka and Tsukune stared at him blankly.

"And what I meant by that, of course, was: what secret is that, again?" Ranma said, recovering admirably from his slip-up.

"Uh... us being human?" Tsukune offered, scratching his head.

Ranma's face darkened. "That 'aint no secret, it's a fact. Not my fault that people don't believe me."

"Yes, it IS your fault," Moka said dryly. "You're as violent as any monster I've ever met."

Tsukune cut in immediately, trying to stop the inevitable fight between Ranma and Moka. "But anyway, isn't it better that people don't know you're human? If they did believe you, they'd try to kill you!"

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "As far as I can tell, they try that even when they think I'm a monster. Besides, I don't mind if they try and kill me. Happens so often these days that I've practically put it into my normal practice regimen."

"That's horrifying," Tsukune deadpanned. "But besides that, I'd like to at least keep it a secret that I'M a human."

"Huh. Okay, yeah, that seems like a good idea," the pigtailed boy agreed. Although he was pretty sure he could keep anyone from killing Tsukune if they tried, it would be a pain to have to protect the younger boy ALL the time.

Moka frowned. "What did you say earlier? About a curse?"

"Ohlookthere'sourroombettergetallsetupseeyaMoka," Slam!

Before the vampiress knew what was happening, Ranma had grabbed Tsukune and vanished into their dorm room, leaving only a cloud of dust in their wake.

Tsukune wobbled slightly from the sudden change in velocity, and eventually collapsed on his bed, groaning.

"Well, at least the inside isn't so bad," the younger boy mumbled, staring at the plain and spartan bedroom spaced adequately for two beds and shelving, accompanied by a decent-sized bathroom and a small living room between the beds and the door.

Ranma was drying his hands as he re-entered the bedroom. "Yeah, they seem to have a theme goin' here. Dark and spooky on the outside, nice and normal on the inside." He stopped for a moment as he thought about that. "Pretty much the exact opposite of the students."

"You know, I've been meaning to mention this, but you're taking this whole thing incredibly well," Tsukune admitted, sitting up on his bed. "I mean, sure, you're a great martial artist with the power to fight monsters, but even so, doesn't this even faze you a little bit? I thought I was going crazy when I sat through our homeroom class!"

Ranma frowned as he started digging through his backpack. "Well, when you get right down to it, this is probably the weirdest place I've ever actually been to... well... maybe second weirdest. Wait... okay, it definitely makes my top five," he clarified. "Anyway, my point is that I've been in a lot of bizarre situations, and this one isn't so bad. Besides, having a normal guy like you around is a big help."

Tsukune blinked. "It is?" As far as he knew, he'd only been a burden to Ranma thus far in forcing him into a fight with Saizo.

"Sure. It's relaxin' having a guy to talk to who isn't crazy, stupid, or a some kinda parasite person," he said casually, causing Tsukune to wince.

"Uh, yeah, about that, I kind of wish you and Moka wouldn't fight so much," Tsukune began diplomatically. "I'm not taking sides here, but I really think you two could be friends if you tried not to antagonize each other."

Ranma gave him a weird look as he pulled out a spare set of clothes. "Who says we can't antagonize each other and still be friends?"

Tsukune sweatdropped. "Well, it's still better if you don't, I think."

"Ah, I think you're overreacting," Ranma said, standing up. "Anyway, I'm gonna wash up now. Out in a bit."


Tsukune sighed as the bathroom door closed, and then unzipped his bag so that he could unpack himself.

Happening upon his toothbrush and other bathroom supplies right away, he took them up and then approached the bathroom door, knocking politely.

"Hey, Ranma, can I put my things away in there, or should I wait?" he asked.

"Uh... now isn't really a good time..." came a voice from within the restroom.

A female voice, specifically.

"What? Who's in there?" Tsukune demanded, pulling the door open to look inside.

Brown eyes locked onto blue as he found himself staring into the eyes of a rather annoyed-looking redheaded girl.

Or at least, that's what Tsukune would fiercely claim if asked. Given that the girl was only wearing a pair of boxer shorts and a bemused expression, he could be forgiven if her eyes weren't the first thing he stared at.

"What... How... Why..." Tsukune babbled uselessly as he looked over the girl who was very nearly a match for Moka in how cute she was, and definitely beat the vampiress hands-down in terms of "bodily development".

The girl, for her part, got even more annoyed as more time went on. "So, you gonna put your things away, or just stand there gaping?"

Slam! Tsukune immediately shut the door in front of him and then slumped down against it, his heart pounding in his chest.

'Well, this day is now pretty much in the running for both the best and the worst day of my life,' he thought, his eyebrow twitching sporadically. 'I mean, sure, I got dropped off in a school of homicidal monsters, one of whom almost took me apart, but hey! Today I actually talked to a girl! And touched a girl! And saw a girl almost NAKED! This place is great! It's terrible! I think I'm going insane!'

Tsukune shook his head to clear it, and then wobbled slightly as he stood up straight, staring at the door. 'No, wait, think about this. That person had the exact same hairstyle as Ranma, right? And the same eye color. She just had, you know, NOTHING ELSE IN COMMON WITH THE PERSON WHO ENTERED THAT ROOM. Something's fishy here...'

Without bothering to knock this time, Tsukune steeled himself and pulled the door open again.

Ranma turned to look at him from where he was relaxing in the bath. "Yo. You can drop your things off if you'd like, I don't mind."

Tsukune stared at the obviously male figure for a moment, and then let out a light, slightly pained chuckle.

"Ah, good. You're not a girl after all. Then that means I'm just crazy. What a relief!" He didn't look at all relieved, and Ranma got the distinct impression that the younger boy would curl up into a fetal position and start rocking back and forth if he didn't explain things.

"Look, would you relax? You're not crazy," Ranma deadpanned, rubbing some shampoo into his hair. "Just lemme wash and I'll explain everything when I get out, okay? I was going to show this to you a little later, maybe when you didn't have so much on your plate already, but that 'aint an option now. So just wait."

"Oh, okay. And then I'll know where the pretty lady went?" Tsukune asked, obviously in a daze.

"Yes. I'll explain all about the pretty lady," Ranma said calmly.

"Oh. That's good," Tsukune said softly, turning rigidly and hobbling out of the bathroom.


Ranma sighed as the door closed behind his roommate. "Oi. I don't really mind this place so much, but I really feel for the kid. Not everybody gets ten years of hard training and another two to build up their Weird Resistance before they get dumped into places like this. It's gotta be hard on him."

"Gah! Ranma! One of the spiders got in!" Tsukune called from the other side of the door.

Ranma frowned. "So? Either shoo it outside or kill it!" Really, Tsukune was kind of a wimp, but freaking out over spiders? The school really must've been getting to him after all.

"I can't! It's too big!" came the ordinary boy's frantic shout.

"Yeah, I'm sure it's huge. Just get a shoe or something!" Ranma shouted back, sinking further into the water.

"It has a HEALTH BAR!"

Ranma immediately jumped out of the water, tying a towel around his waist with one hand while grabbing a plunger with the other. "Dammit. This place has problems."

Half an hour later, a female, redheaded Ranma was sitting in front of a gaping Tsukune... in front of a twenty-pound, solid black spider corpse, complete with an empty horizontal rectangle floating over it.

"... And that's the story in a nutshell," she finished, glancing at the kettle that was just starting to steam on top of the small plug-in stove Ranma carried in her backpack.

"And hot water changes you back into a boy?" Tsukune asked, looking far more stable and relaxed now that the giant arachnid had been vanquished and the mysterious redhead had been explained.

"Exactly," Ranma confirmed, lifting the kettle over her head and changing genders under a stream of steaming liquid.

Tsukune observed the change closely, fascinated by how smooth it was. Ranma's height shot up considerably as his hair shifted color, and his chest shriveled as his waist expanded slightly, replacing the soft, feminine curves with hard-packed muscle.

Of course, there was one region of Ranma's body that was probably subject to a much more complex and abrupt transformation between genders, but Tsukune's curiosity didn't extend THAT far.

The younger boy sighed. "So it's just a curse. That's a relief. I was afraid that maybe you were a monster after all."

"Nope!" Ranma said immediately, crossing his arms over his chest. "Like I keep telling EVERYONE, I'm completely, genuinely human."

"I know, but... man, you sure make it hard to believe," Tsukune chuckled, rubbing the back of his head.

Ranma accepted that as an endorsement of how awesome he was, and smirked slightly before a thought occurred to him, turning his smirk into a frown.

"Not that I don't appreciate you believing me, but... well, would it matter that much to you if I was a monster?" Ranma asked cautiously. He wasn't sure what possessed him to ask such a question, but he was thoroughly surprised and quite pleased with the answer.

"If you were a monster? No, it'd be fine if you were a monster," Tsukune said, blinking in surprise. "As long as, you know, you didn't kill me for being human, anyway." Then he pursed his lips nervously. "It's just that... well... I'd be kind of disappointed if it turned out you lied to me after all."

Ranma honestly felt a bit touched at the admission of trust, and sat there stunned for several seconds before he shook his head. "Hey, what's with all the sappy talk? Save it for your girlfriend," he said gruffly, smiling nonetheless as he stood up.

Tsukune flushed at the thought of Moka actually being his girlfriend, but banished the thought and scrambled to his feet. "Here, I'll take care of this body. Then we can finally get some sleep." Showing only slight hesitation toward the battered arachnid corpse, he grabbed hold of one of the legs that wasn't covered in ichor and started dragging it toward the door.

"Did you check it for money?" Ranma asked, looking over a shoulder as he pulled out some instant noodles for dinner.

Tsukune stopped and fixed his roommate with an incredulous stare. "Why would a spider have money?"

"You'd be surprised," Ranma mumbled, turning back toward his meal.


Shaking his head, Tsukune dragged the deceased creature out of the front door, and then started down the hallway, wondering to himself where he was going to dump the repulsive thing.

As it just so happened, luck was on his side, and Tsukune jumped slightly as the door to the room next to his suddenly opened up.

"Oh! Uh... hello," Tsukune said weakly, looking up at a giant man who was leaning his head out of his room. The man looked foreign, not that it really mattered in this school, with a huge barrel chest complemented by bulging muscles that honestly reminded Tsukune of Saizo's monster form, despite looking fully human. He had bleached-blond hair slicked back over his head, and an enormous chin that easily dominated his facial features.

"Eh? Who're you?" the giant asked, idly pumping a barbel in his right hand.

"Me? I'm Aono Tsukune," the human boy said, trying his best to mask his nervousness. "Ah, I suppose I'm one of your neighbors, actually."

The larger man's face split into a crude grin. "Huh. Well, it's nice ta meetcha', Aono. I'm Rikishi, but you can call me Chopper."

"Y-Yes. Nice to meet you," Tsukune said quickly, bowing to what he presumed was a very large and inevitably powerful monster.

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds as Rikishi continued pumping his barbel and Tsukune continued wondering what the other man wanted.

"Hey," Rikishi said finally, "you gonna eat that?"

Tsukune sweatdropped heavily, and then raised the leg of the dead spider. "Nuh-uh. All yours."

"Hey, thanks pal! You're all right, Aono!" Rikishi said, his grin getting even broader as he closed a large, meaty fist around the corpse's leg and dragged it into his dorm room.

Tsukune looked fairly disturbed by the time the door closed in front of him, but he had to admit that his neighbor's eating habits had saved him from most of the work of disposing of that corpse.

With a rather grim chuckle, he opened the door to his room and went in to join Ranma for dinner.

It was for this reason that he missed the hearty exclamation coming from Rikishi's room a few seconds later.

"Sweet! I found a gold ring!"

Ranma frowned as he entered his first real class of the day, annoyed to see that the only desks available were up in front.

'Oh well, time to see what this school has to offer,' he thought to himself morosely, seating himself next to a twitchy-looking guy twirling a pencil about nervously.

It occurred to him early on that if some of the classes were monster-related, at the very least this high school wouldn't be as boring as Furinkan. And since many of the other classes were disgustingly normal, such as math and art, hopefully his experience at Youkai would balance out such that he would actually learn something he'd need without being driven into a coma every day.

Of course, the ultimate "mission" of this instruction was still rather dubious to him, as he didn't need any instruction to live amongst humans (or so he was firmly convinced, anyway), but Ranma decided to give it a shot. After all, if Tsukune, who was basically a bag of meat waiting to get ripped open, could put up with classes, who was he to give up so easily?

As the class bell rung Ranma was startled out of his thoughts, and he turned toward the entrance along with all the other students as a final figure entered.

The man who Ranma presumed was his Physical Science teacher sashayed casually into the room, the movements muted by the long black robe he wore. Ranma immediately pegged him as some sort of zombie or something, as his body looked utterly emaciated and bone white.

The teacher's face was mostly hidden by a crimson-lined cowl and a black cloth mask that covered his mouth and nose, leaving his glowing yellow eyes exposed for all to see. He also had a few bright green markings around his left eye, though Ranma couldn't imagine why anyone would get such small and pointless tattoos.

"Hello, class," the teacher said upon reaching the podium, his clawed hands clasped behind his back. "Welcome to first year Physical Science. I am your instructor... RICHARD!"

The man suddenly thrust his fists up into the air, and most of the class jumped as thunder suddenly boomed from outside while lightning flashed through the windows.

"Chief warlock of the Brothers of Darkness, Lord of the Thirteen Hells, Master of the Bones, Emperor of the Black, Lord of the undead, Professor of Earth Science, and Executive Manager of the local teacher's union Youkai division 42!"

After his dramatic and rather long-winded introduction, Richard clasped his hands behind his back again. "Any questions?"

The twitchy fellow adjacent to Ranma pointed to their instructor. "Is that supposed to be your human form?"

Richard steepled his fingers in front of his face as he adopted a thoughtful expression. "Hmm... how best to answer that... I know!"

FWOOM! With a brief hand gesture, a thick, swirling stream of fire suddenly poured out of the warlock's fingers, and Ranma ducked desperately out of the way as the boy next to him screamed.

After a few seconds the fire abated, and Ranma slowly turned around to see the charred husk of the student next to him, smoke pouring off of him and veins of glowing embers running through what was left of his body.

"Did... Did you just kill him for asking a stupid question?" Ranma asked nervously.

"Oh, don't worry, I didn't kill him," Richard scoffed, the flames around his hands still flickering.

"Neidama! He's not moving! He's really dead!" A different student shouted in terror and sorrow.

"After all," the science instructor continued as if the other student hadn't said anything, "a little fire blast like that could never kill a monster. He'll be fine."

"Neidama's a forest imp! He's made of WOOD!"

Richard turned back toward his podium, opening a book. "Yes, a few hours rest and he'll be back on his feet, good as new."

Then the warlock snapped his fingers, and his students winced as a totally unnecessary eldritch thunderclap resulted along with a small arc of lightning around his hand. "That does remind me, though. I'm going to need a special class officer to assist me during class."

"You mean to get equipment or help with lab experiments?" One girl in the back asked, raising her hand.

"Yeah, sure. That, plus disposing of corpses as the day goes on," Richard said bluntly.

Ranma blanched. "You're telling me you're actually PLANNING on killing more students?"

"Uh... wait! Wait, I know the answer to this one!" Richard insisted, waving a hand at the pigtailed boy as he massaged his brow. "Got it!"

Shingk! Ranma quickly raised the top of his desk up to block the lance of ice that had been aimed at his heart, and his eyebrow twitched as he watched the needle-sharp point of the projectile pierce the obstacle and slow to a stop just millimeters from the surface of his shirt.

"Ooh, you actually survived!" Richard said, sounding pleased as his hands glowed an ethereal blue. "Ah... I mean, of course a monster would be able to handle a little cantrip like that."

Ranma's eyebrow twitched harder. "I'm not a monster. I'm a human."

As was the usual reaction whenever he said that in front of new people, there was a brief stunned silence and several raised eyebrows.

"Huh," Richard said intelligently, his arms hanging limply before flicking his fingers at the pigtailed boy.

"Yipe!" Ranma quickly jumped up onto the ceiling, clinging onto it for dear life as his desk suddenly lit ablaze. "Hey! Knock it off!"

Richard snorted. "Human. Riiiight. Well 'human,' you're it."

"I'm what?"

Richard's mask shifted slightly, indicating a smile. "You're my new bitc... aide. Definitely meant aide."

"What? I didn't volunteer for nothin'!" Ranma complained, still clinging to the ceiling with his pigtail hanging down.

"It's really more of conscription thing," Richard explained, shrugging as if he was helpless in the matter.

"Forget it! Why should I help you?" Ranma demanded, readying himself to dodge any more bolts of elemental power.

Oddly enough, the warlock seemed to be taking his question seriously as he tapped the surface of his mask with a claw. "Well, there's always the basic advantages of being the servant of an all-powerful lord of darkness. You know, resources to squander, power to abuse, babes in slutty armor..."

"Meh," Ranma said, utterly unimpressed by the offer.

"Also, you earn an automatic 'A' on all homework assignments I assign, so you don't have to do them."

"Where did you want Neidama's body, again?"

"Well, this guy looks normal enough," Ranma mumbled as he took a seat at a desk in the middle of the room, ready for his next class. His Physical Science class had certainly taken a weird enough turn, not to mention a dangerous one, as evidenced by the fact that one of his sleeves had been burnt off of his shirt and his arm had been bandaged up.

He had managed to keep Richard from summarily executing any other students, though much to Ranma's annoyance, that had only been achieved by making himself the warlock's primary target. And judging by his first class, Richard's method of instruction was one tenth lecturing, one tenth lab work, and eight tenths bombarding his students with whatever elements he happened to be talking about at the time.

'It's a good thing I hate homework so much.'

This instructor at least LOOKED a little more sensible. The blond, rather bishonen man was sitting quietly behind his desk, thumbing through a book. His light hair was wavy and cut short, and he was wearing a neatly pressed dark gray outfit that looked to Ranma to be some sort of uniform.

Though no matter how normal the instructor looked, the name of the class still bothered him. 'Dealing with Devil Hunters? What kind of a class is that?'

In retrospect, he really shouldn't have chosen the class according to what title sounded the least boring.

As the clock marked the start of the new hour, and the exact moment that class was to begin, the teacher's head suddenly snapped upward, and he swept his eyes over the class with a stern, contemptuous gaze.

The man stood up and squared his shoulders as he clasped his hands behind his back.

"I see no vacant seats, so it would seem you're all here on time. Good. It's rather discouraging to start off the semester watching a tardy classmate having the life-force wrenched from their bodies, which WILL be the disciplinary measure utilized should any of you dare to be late to MY class."

He took a breath before continuing. "I am Jadeite, your instructor for Dealing with Devil Hunters. Unfortunately this will likely be your only class in this subject, as the school curriculum stresses the importance of simply avoiding and evading devil hunters rather than exterminating them, and that doesn't require nearly as much instruction and training. FOOLS, ALL OF THEM!"

The class generally looked surprised at the sudden outburst, but there were no interruptions as Jadeite calmed down and then continued.

"Devil hunters are the bane of all monster society. Not only are they dangerous to your physical health when they attack, but they threaten the dignity of all dark creatures with their sheer stupidity... especially when coupled with the fact that they always seem to win. Nobody likes losing, but losing to someone who you can't possibly respect as a credible opponent is the worst."

Ranma raised an eyebrow at the sheer amount of bitterness in the man's voice. "You sound like this is kinda personal to you."

Jadeite fixed his glare on the pigtailed boy. "Have you ever heard of the Negaverse, child?"

"No, doesn't ring a bell," Ranma said after a moment of thought.

"Yeah. There's a REASON for that," the blond man deadpanned. "Which actually brings me to the main subject of today's lecture, the worst and most vile of the hateful and genocidal devil hunters: the magical girl."

He said the phrase with an angry sneer, his eyebrow twitching irritably. His students mostly snorted quietly or tried to hold in laughter.

"The magical girl is the scum of the human world, an infectious, disgusting, CUTE abomination manifest in sparkly gems and frilly outfits. They are the most disgusting humans, gifted with tremendous power and none of the skill, instruction, or intellect to properly use it. Bumbling around in the thick of battle, nearly as dangerous to friend as to foe, they are the WORST KIND of devil hunter, a class of human which already occupies the lowest and most despicable ranks among the filthy cattle!"

Ranma was about to say something angry about being called "filthy cattle" when a girl near the front raised her hand first.

"Sensei, do you include witches among the 'magical girls'?" She asked anxiously. It was fairly obvious why she'd be concerned, given that she was wearing a cape and a stereotypical witch hat in class; she and Ranma were the only ones not wearing a proper uniform. She also looked way too young to be in high school, but again Ranma figured that appearances meant little where monsters were concerned.

To the girl's relief, Jadeite shook his head. "No, witches are, of course, a monstrous variety of magical girl, and although a rare few would count themselves among devil hunters, generally they're very different..."

The little witch sighed in relief.

"... Except for their status among monsters, which perfectly mirrors that of the magical girl among humans. That is to say, approximate to the slimy gunk that grows on the edge of the pool." The witch wilted as Jadeite spoke with a perfectly straight, professional manner, as if he wasn't talking about the girl at all, or had somehow overlooked her species.

"Anyway, if I may continue my lecture..." Jadeite glared across the class briefly before clearing his throat. "During this class, you will pry into the mind of the devil hunter, find out what makes her tick, what her weak points are, and then, you will learn how to utterly DESTROY her."

Ranma raised his hand. "But you said that the curriculum-WHOA!" He ducked as a ball of darkness rocketed over his head, and the projectile barely missed the student behind him before plowing into the wall. BWOOM!

"It will not be easy," Jadeite continued as if nothing ever happened, his hand still crackling with dark lightning, "but it will be worthwhile. So long as the magical girl threat exists, ALL monsterkind is threatened with extermination, and you... you, my faithful students, will END this menace once and for all!"

The students started to cast glances at each other uneasily as their teacher's eyes seemed to glaze over slightly.

"Yes... Yes! They thought me defeated... routed by those foul magic girls, cast aside by my queen, entombed in crystal, forced to teach at this wretched academy to pay the scamming bastards that eventually released me..."

"Hey, teach?" Ranma asked, leaning forward in his desk.

"But I won't give up. Jadeite will never give up," he continued mumbling, his eyebrow twitching violently as he was encompassed in a sickly black aura. "This has been a setback, yes, but even after the destruction of my army and my home and my liege..."

"Hey, Jadeite-sensei!" Ranma tried again.

"Jadeite will rise again! Yes, I'll return Sailor Moon, with a WHOLE NEW ARMY, and then, as we dance among the flickering hellfire around your splintered bones, we'll-"

"HEY, BLONDIE! SHUT UP!" Ranma finally shouted.

Jadeite promptly shot straight up, his aura winking out. "I... wait, where am I?"

The dark general glanced left and right, looking over the rather confused and disturbed class.

Then he relaxed his posture and gently cleared his throat. "As I was saying. Read chapters one and two in your textbook and then do all the review questions at the end of each chapter, class dismissed," he said quickly, immediately turning on his heel and then vanishing into an inky black portal.

"Well, that's just great. Just flippin' perfect," Ranma grumbled as he trudged through the halls of Youkai Academy, glaring pointlessly at the cover of his Devil Hunters Throughout History textbook. "I've only been to three classes so far, and one of my teachers is a murderous psycho, the other is a manic-depressive loser on a revenge kick, and my homeroom teacher..." his face twisted into an expression of even greater disgust, "might be a cat."

He rubbed his head as he looked over his schedule. "Well, that's it for classes today. Tomorrow I've got the normal classes, apparently: math and government. Hm... Tsukune has the same math class as me, but that's it, I guess."

At the thought of his friend and roommate, Ranma frowned and scratched his chin. "I wonder where he is right now, anyway... I should keep an eye on him whenever I can; around here he can get jumped at pretty much any time, and I don't think Moka could do much to protect him..."

He couldn't help but snort at that. Weren't vampires supposed to be super-strong and natural killers and whatnot? Moka seemed as dangerous as a housefly and only half as aggressive. Which were actually points in her favor, as far as Ranma was concerned, but it was still weird how... normal she was.

'Hard to believe she had trouble fitting in among humans,' he thought to himself, passing by the infirmary with his hands in his pockets, 'aside from the blood sucking thing, she's probably the most normal girl I know.'

Stopping in place, Ranma frowned as he looked at the mostly empty halls. "Ah, you know what? Maybe I'll just get something to eat instead. Tsukune's a nice enough kid, and he doesn't start any trouble. I'm sure he can last a full afternoon without me to look after him."

"GET AWAY FROM TSUKUNE!" Came a scream from within the infirmary, followed by the distinctive sound of shattering glass.

Ranma's face darkened. "Oh-kay then..." Whirling around, the pigtailed man dashed for the infirmary door.

"Leave Tsukune alone, Kurumu! This has nothing to do with him!" Moka shouted from where she and Tsukune were huddled under a dead tree.

Flying above them on great, bat-like wings was a buxom girl with light blue hair tied into a short ponytail on the back of her head and with a spade-tipped tail hanging from her rear. "This has everything to do with him! Bad enough you steal the splotlight from me, but being rejected by someone like him is adding insult to injury! I won't stand for this! I'll kill both of you!"

Flexing her fingers, Kurumu's nails grew to match the length of her fingers, and she dove low at the couple below, swiping broadly at them.

"Duck!" Moka shouted, pushing Tsukune to the ground as the other girl passed overhead.

Shwip! Shwap! The trees nearby immediately toppled over, and Tsukune's eyes bugged out as he saw that their trunks had been sliced through cleanly.

'Sharp! Too sharp! There's no way we'll survive if she hits us with that!'

Kurumu gained some altitude as she recovered from her first pass, turning around in the air.

"Hmph! Is this all you're capable of, Moka? How disappointing! I heard that the vampire is supposed to be the strongest of all monsters!" With that taunt, she raised her wings and started her second dive, only partially aware of someone shouting something behind her. "This time I'll-wait, mouko what?"

The flying girl yelped painfully as a sphere of blue light smashed into her back, and Moka and Tsukune gaped as she was sent spiraling through the air toward the ground.

Whump! Thump! Thud! Kurumu shouted helplessly as her body bounced across the ground, and she let out a loud, panicked cry as she finally rolled hard into a tree.

Moka and Tsukune stared at the sight trying to figure out what had just happened until Ranma leapt down in front of them, having jumped from the infirmary window.

"Flying is easy," the pigtailed boy said, grinning, "landing is hard."

"Ranma! Oh, thank God," Tsukune mumbled, sighing in relief. Even Moka, who generally found the other human unpleasant, looked pleased at his entrance.

"So who's this chick, Tsukune? Old girlfriend, jealous rival, new fiancee..." Ranma asked, ticking off the possibilities on his fingers.

"The second one," Moka said, her eyes hardening. "Her name's Kurono Kurumu! She's some succubus that's been trying to enslave the boys here!"

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "A succubus?"

Shizuka Nekonome grinned cattily as she waved. "Hello everyone! Today we're going to learn about the succubus!"

She pointed to a chalkboard, which had a reasonably detailed sketch of Kurumu on it.

"Succubae are demonic female creatures from medieval legend that enter the dreams of men and seduce them to drain their life force!"

She pointed to another drawing of a stick figure in bed with several Z's coming from it.

"The modern succubus is more direct than that, and most don't need to absorb any additional energy from men in order to survive anyway, which has actually given them something of a reputation as harmless 'eye candy' monsters. Their monster form is very close to their human form, although they possess bat-like wings and occasionally other demonic traits, such as tails, horns, razor teeth, etc. This is thought to be from the succubae's erratic mating patterns, since they frequently seduce creatures of other species."

Shizuka shook her head. "But don't be fooled by their reputation! A succubus can be very strong, and possesses charm and illusion magic! Although not the best up-front fighter, a man who lets his guard down around one won't last long!"

The cat-woman bowed, and then waved goodbye. "See you next time!"

"Th-That's right!" Kurumu stuttered, slowly pulling herself up off the ground and wincing at the effort. "I am a succubus! And that's why I can't lose here!"

"Huh?" Ranma asked, raising an eyebrow. "Run that one by me again?"

Kurumu puffed her chest out as she stood up proudly, ignoring the slight cracking noise and horrendous pain that resulted. "The race of the succubae are dying out! Every remaining succubus has one grand mission: to find a male worthy of fathering her offspring! That's why I need the men of Youkai Academy! Surely ONE of them is monster enough to be my 'Mate of Fate'!"

Tsukune shook his head. "Even if you say that, you can't just brainwash people! It's not right!"

"Shut up!" Kurumu countered, "I'll do anything to find my future husband! I'll charm the entire school if I have to! If necessary, I'll even KILL!"

Moka looked horrified at the other girl's determination as the succubus stalked forward.

Ranma, for his part, had been silent during the exchange between Kurumu and Tsukune, and suddenly pointed toward the bluette. "Question."

Kurumu stopped in her tracks, blinking. "Huh? What?"

"Succubae are sex demons, right?" He asked tactlessly.

Kurumu's cheeks reddened as she fixed Ranma with an annoyed glare. "We're... called that sometimes, yes," she admitted.

"So, your thing is that you seduce men. That's basically your monster power," Ranma continued.

"Are you going anywhere with this?" Kurumu asked, crossing her arms under her breasts and tapping her foot.

"It's just..." Ranma scratched his head. "How is it that a race of monster whose ability is basically to sleep around is dying out? Is there something wrong with how you reproduce or do you guys keep getting killed off or what?"

Kurumu stared blankly at Ranma. Ranma stared expectantly at Kurumu. Moka and Tsukune stared at each other, shrugging briefly before they turned back to the face-off.

"I..." Kurumu started hesitantly. "It's because... we're... uh..." her brow furrowed. "I... never really thought of that," she finally admitted. "I have no idea." She knew that Ranma's description of her powers was an ignorant simplification, but ultimately her foe had a point: succubae were by and large sexy, receptive, and not very quick to fight. How DID her race come to the edge of extinction, anyway?

Ranma just rolled his eyes at her confusion. "So your whole 'poor me, I'm endangered' spiel is a load of bull, huh? Whatever. Like I care about your stupid excuses."

"It is not stupid!" Kurumu shouted, instantly angry again as she took to the air and lengthened her nails once more. "I don't have to take this! I don't care if you are a vampire, I'll still take you down!"

"What about Moka? You're fighting ME now!" Ranma asserted, slipping into a looser combat stance as Kurumu began her dive.

"Who did you THINK I was talking about?" the succubus shouted, rearing one arm back to rip straight through her foe. "Now this is the-URK!"

Her battle cry was interrupted as Kurumu's wrist was grabbed mid-attack and then released as Ranma kicked out her feet, causing her to tumble painfully along the ground as her momentum bled away.

"Whoa, slow down there," Ranma growled as the succubus pulled herself up. "What did you mean by that back there?"

Kurumu looked confused as she wiped some dirt off of her face. "Aren't you a vampire? That's the rumor going around campus. And it's no surprise, considering your strength and speed when you won't even drop your disguise."

A vein popped up on Ranma's head.

"No, he's not a vampire!" Moka protested, looking quite put out by the assumption. "Vampires are elegant and wise! How could you mistake a brute like him for one of us?"

A second vein popped up on Ranma's head.

"Well, whatever you are, I won't lose to-" Kurumu declared, her voice cutting out as Ranma's form flickered, "What? Where-"

Whoomph! Kurumu suddenly flew forward as an open-palm strike slammed into her from behind.

"I," Ranma said, his aura flaring before he dashed after his target.

Wham! Kurumu screamed as she was bodyslammed in mid-flight, adding more pain and momentum to her tumble.

"Am," he continued hotly, stopping suddenly as Kurumu continued onward ahead of him.

Crack! The blue-haired monster yelped as she slammed into a tree, and then glanced behind her fearfully as the full realization of how badly she was outmatched hit her.

"A human!" Ranma snapped, holding his palms opposite each other in front of him as a crackling sphere of blue energy formed there. After a few seconds, the orb reached the general volume of a basketball. "Looks like it's one step closer to extinction for you guys. G'night."

Kurumu whimpered, holding her battered arms in front of her to try and protect her face.

"Ranma, stop it!" Tsukune suddenly said, startling both combatants.


Ranma blinked in surprise as the younger boy interposed himself between him and his target with his arms spread out.

"What're you doing? Get outta here! What if she stabs you from behind, or takes you hostage or something?" Ranma complained, still holding the sphere of ki in his hands as it throbbed and crackled dangerously.

Tsukune stood firm. "I don't think she'd do that, Ranma. Please, that's enough."

"I wasn't really gonna kill her or anything," the pigtailed man protested as he finally let the energy blast in his hands dissipate. "And she DID try to kill you and Moka."

Tsukune sighed in relief at seeing his more capable friend calm down, and then glanced over his shoulder at the dumbstruck succubus. "I think she's learned her lesson. Thank you for saving us, Ranma."

"Yeah, thanks," Moka chirped, walking up next to Tsukune and turning toward the defeated succubus. "Kurumu... I'm sorry for your situation, but this isn't the way to solve your problems! Violence is never the answer!"

"AH-EM!" Ranma said loudly, glaring at Moka with his arms crossed over his chest.

The vampiress rolled her eyes. "Well, it's never the best answer, anyway."

"If you have any better ideas for how I was supposed to keep your head attached to your neck, you should've brought 'em up earlier," Ranma grumbled. "Meh. I'm getting hungry. Tsukune, Moka, you want some food?"

"Yeah, I do," Tsukune said hesitantly, still glancing over at Kurumu. "Kurumu, are you going to be okay on your own?"

The succubus' eyes sparkled as she stared up at the boy, and she nodded dreamily. "I'm... I'm fine. He didn't hit me all that hard..."

Ranma scratched his head in confusion, wondering why this situation looked so familiar to him.

"I can't say I understand the burden you're under," Tsukune said softly, "but... I forgive you for what you've done. I hope that we can get along from now on."

"Oh, thank you! I'm very sorry! I won't do it again, I promise!" Kurumu insisted, clasping her hands together as she gazed up at her hero.


Satisfied that the succubus wouldn't be causing any more trouble, Tsukune turned and walked back to his friends, slowing slightly as Ranma shook his head and Moka gazed at him with a fairly unreadable expression.

"What is it?" he asked in confusion, glancing between the two.

Ranma frowned. "I could be wrong... but I think you just got yourself engaged."

Tsukune blanched as he focused fully on Ranma. "Wh-What? What are you talking about?"

"You just forgave her for almost killing you and actually showed you cared about her being hurt," Ranma explained. "Where I come from, that's like a proposal without a ring."

"But... that's ridic-" the younger boy's protest was cut off as a sharp pain came from his neck, courtesy of two needle-like fangs seeking his jugular. "GAAAAAH! Moka, cut it out!"

"I'm sorry!" Moka apologized, though only after taking a long sip of blood, "but I've been really hungry since Ranma mentioned food!"

Ranma sweatdropped as Tsukune ran about in a panic, blood spurting from his neck. 'I feel guilty about it, but it's kind of nice seeing this happen to someone else for once. I'm glad I don't have to put up with any annoying monster girls chasing me.'

Cracka-boom!

Trying desperately to ignore the ominous bolt of lightning, Ranma quickly turned around and headed toward the cafeteria.

End Chapter 1

Note: Richard is a main character from the web comic Looking For Group. If you are not familiar with it, I gladly recommend it.
If you need me to tell you where Jadeite's from, then you fail as an anime fan.

Big Human on Campus: Extra!

Kuno sniffed as he walked out of his math course, his bokken resting against his shoulder as he trudged down the hall.

Things had settled down considerably since Ranma was expelled from Furinkan, though in Kuno's mind, surprisingly, the changes had not been for the better.

Almost ninety percent of the school had submitted to the new haircut requirements set by the principal, as only those strong enough to fight off or consistently evade the Kuno patriarch could avoid them now that he wasn't mostly focused on carving off Ranma's precious pigtail. As usual, there was a massive obstacle course involved with the prize being the elimination of the school's haircut requirement, but somehow, despite the combined might of Akane and himself - Ukyo had taken the day off to try and find where her fiancee was now attending school - they had failed to secure the critical document that provided unquestioned exemption.

For some reason, the course had included copious numbers of sharks with laser beams attached to their heads. Quite a brutal defense, and Kuno had the lacerations and second-degree burns to prove it.

The hentai horde had not started up again, as most of them figured that between Ranma - who wasn't TOTALLY out of the picture yet - Ryoga - who entered and left the picture seemingly at random - and Kuno himself to potentially exact revenge on anyone who actually managed to overcome the youngest Tendo, seeking a date with a slightly less cute and far less dangerous classmate was probably quite reasonable.

Worst of all, to Kuno at least, was that he no longer had Ranma nearby. Not only had the fiend escaped mortal justice at his hands by the much lesser punishment of mere expulsion, but he hadn't fully surrendered his influence as the betrothed of Akane Tendo, and had spirited away the pigtailed girl along with him!

The young kendoist grit his teeth. 'This will not be allowed, Saotome! No matter what obstacle I must overcome, no matter what foes I must face, know that there is no chance that you will ever escape my-'

"Excuse me, Mister Kuno?"

Tatewaki's mental rant was interrupted by a man in a professional suit standing in front of him, holding a thick folder.

"Hm? Can I help you, Sir?" Kuno asked, arms crossed before his chest.

"I'm an agent from the Ministry of Education of Japan," the man explained as an introduction, conspicuously omitting his name. "I've just come to inform you that your participation in our program has officially concluded, and as a result you no longer need to assault Ranma Saotome."

Kuno's demeanor changed instantly, and the kendoist very nearly fainted on the floor right there from relief. "Oh, thank Buddha, it's finally over!" he gasped, falling to his knees with a haunted expression. "Do you know the kind of things that man did to me? The doctors can't even tell the sutures of my skull from the cracks anymore!"

"Yes, I realize it's been hard for you, Mister Kuno. Your participation is nonetheless appreciated," the man droned. "Also, if you happen to see Mister Hibiki, can you tell him he's done too? We've been trying to send him notice for YEARS, but so much mail has piled up at the Hibiki homestead that the postal service doesn't even bother delivering there anymore."

"Of course, my fine sir, I will carry this burden unto the grave if need be," Tatewaki said, slipping back into his normal mode of speech. "Now if you may excuse me, I'm off to date with the fair Akane Tendo!"

"Yeah, sure. You go do that," the man said, turning away. 'Screwball.'