Standard disclaimer applies. Despite all my nefarious efforts, I have failed to steal the exclusive rights to the characters I am using, so they don't belong to me.

Ranma Saotome: Attorney at Law
Case 2
**********************************************************************************

"Huh. They did a survey here of men who are frequently beaten or blasted by their suitors, and found that of those men, 65% end up seeking the company of several other women as a result, and 35% become bitter, abusive people themselves." Ranma looked up from the magazine he was reading in thought. "I wonder what category I fit into."
"A little bit of both, I suspect." Inu-Yasha answered as he lined up his putt on the small green strip that served as a mini golf course in Ranma's office. "You did join a law firm."
Ranma thought about that for a moment. "Point." Then he returned to his magazine.
Inu-Yasha lightly tapped the small orange golf ball with his putter, and it rolled across the green. The panda at the end opened its mouth just as the ball reached it, and the plastic sphere rolled inside.
The mouth closed, and the sleeping mass of black and white fur grimaced before spitting out the ball, all without waking. The golf ball found its way onto a second green strip, where it rolled up a shallow ramp and fell into a little hole.
"YES!!! I did it!! Hole in one!! HAIL TO THE KING, BABY!!!" Inu-Yasha began dancing about the office, twirling the golf club like a baton.
"Fabulous," Ranma deadpanned.
The half-youkai continued dancing for a while, before sighing in inexplicable contentment and retrieving his ball from the hole. "So, you and that blonde chick still screwing each other?"
Ranma rolled his eyes at his co-worker's usual crude bluntness. "No. It was going alright for a while, but then she found out that I've been having a continuous affair with my secretary for the last two years."
Inu-Yasha grinned. "Ah. And that was that, eh?"
"Not really. Minako was mad, but she still wanted to talk things out and make it work."
Inu-Yasha blinked.
"Then I pushed my luck, and spoke a rather poorly planned sentence that included the word 'threesome'. I was THIS close to losing Little Ranma to a chain made of hearts." Ranma held his thumb and index finger close to each other to emphasize his point.
Inu-Yasha stared for a moment, then burst out laughing.
Suddenly, the intercom activated.
*Airen, Mr. Ikari here to see you.*
Ranma blinked, then put down his magazine and stood up. "Ah. Good. Send him in, then."
The door opened to admit a rather scrawny-looking fourteen-year-old. Shinji entered the office, looking around cautiously before somewhat nervously settling his gaze on the half-canine looking terribly out of place in its neat black business suit.
"Ah! Shinji Ikari! How can I help you?"
Shinji gulped, and started edging away as Inu-Yasha just smirked at him. "I... I, uh... d-do you think we could talk... you know, privately? Please?"
Ranma nodded in understanding. "Right, right. Guys, if you would?"
Inu-Yasha snorted slightly, but started toward the door, stopping to grab the sleeping Genma and drag him behind.
The door closed, and Shinji continued looking around the room like something was going to jump out at him.
"Something wrong, kid?" Ranma cocked his head to one side.
"Uhm..." Shinji hesitated for a moment, "is it possible that this room is bugged?"
Ranma blinked. "It wasn't the last time I checked."
"Wh-When was that?"
"Five minutes ago," Ranma answered honestly. "Damn phone taps were a pain to get out, too."
Shinji nodded, and suddenly his whole demeanor changed. "Good. Just needed to make sure, you know?" He smirked slightly, and walked behind Ranma's desk to take a seat in the big leather chair that rested there.
Ranma blinked, finding the sudden change from cowardly to kingly rather disconcerting.
Shinji took out a cigar from his pants pocket, and bit off the end and spit it onto the floor. "Gotta light?"
"I, uh, I don't smoke." Ranma answered.
Shinji leveled a flat stare at him. "Perhaps you didn't hear me. I didn't ask if you smoked or not. To be perfectly freakin' honest, I don't care. I asked you to light the damn cigar."
The voice was hard as steel, and Ranma stared at the boy oddly before charging his ki into his finger and holding it under the end of the cigar, which lit in moments.
Shinji took a few puffs, then sighed in contentment and leaned back in Ranma's chair. "Okay pal, here's the deal. You see, I'm just a small-time Eva pilot, which doesn't pay that well. So, I opened up a few business deals on the side to pay the bills, you know? Unfortunately, certain people, who will remain as anonymous as their graves, screwed up. Now I'm in some heat. They're accusing me of heading the local Yakuza."
Ranma blinked once more. They thought this kid was head of the Japanese Mafia?
"Well... are you?" He ventured.
Shinji stared at him for a moment, and then leaned forward, jabbing his cigar in Ranma's direction. "That's none of your concern. What IS your concern is making the judge decide that I'm not. Capeesh?"
Ranma nodded. "Yessir. Right. So, what are we looking at here?"
Shinji leaned back again. "They've got some photos as evidence. They had quite a number of witnesses, but I think I got most of them."
Ranma blinked yet again. "Got most of them?"
Shinji smiled slightly. "Hey pal, relax! Don't worry about it! It's just less work for you, eh?"
"Er... right."
Shinji's mirthful expression died, and he leaned forward somberly, resting his elbows on Ranma's desk. "Look kid, I ask that you do this, not only for your usual fee, but as a personal favor to me. Meaning, that if you manage to get me out of this, You will be handsomely rewarded. It also means that if you screw up, you're..." Shinji stopped, and drew a finger across his neck.
Ranma nodded slowly. "Uh huh... understood."
Shinji smiled, then put out his cigar on the armrest of the seat before getting up and walking out the door, nearly stumbling into Inu-Yasha in the process.
"Sorry! Sorry! No no, it's my fault! Here, let me get that!" Laughing nervously, Shinji dusted off the half-youkai's suit before hastily scurrying away.
Inu-Yasha entered the office, grinning as he shook his head. "What a wuss. What'd he want?"
Ranma shrugged. "Apparently, he's accused of being the head of Yakuza."
Inu-Yasha spit out his coffee in a hot, brown blast. Which Ranma found remarkable, as he wasn't drinking any.
"That spineless kid's a Yakuza?!"
"HEAD of the Yakuza," Ranma corrected. "In any case, I've got my work cut out for me. Should I win this case for him and take the rewards offered to a friend of a crime lord, or should I purposefully lose and risk my money and life in order to ensure that justice is served?"
Inu-Yasha stared for a moment. "You are, of course, kidding about that second one, right?"
"Of course," Ranma agreed. "To the court!"
__________________________________________________________________________________

Ranma walked into the courtroom, followed by Shinji, who looked to be rather nervous and frightened by the whole turn of events.
Taking his seat at the usual bench, Ranma looked around only to stare wide-eyed as his eyes found the prosecuting attorney.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't my old 'friend' who I've never met before. Hello Mendo." Ranma spat out.
Shutaro Mendo smirked at him. "Ah, Saotome. So we meet again, for the first time. I'm surprised to find you defending this scum." Mendo gestured with his hand at Shinji, who flinched back and waved nervously.
Ranma snorted. "I'll have you know my law firm gives me ALL the cases where there's a chance of being killed by a client." Ranma announced proudly.
"Riiiiight," Mendo drawled.
Genma moved onto the bench on the other side of Shinji, and the courtroom began to quiet down.
"Hear ye all with business before this court," Zelgadis started, "the righteous and just, but quite frankly, none too bright Judge Gabriev presiding."
*Thud!* The back door shuddered for a moment, and Zelgadis sighed.
"Open the door, THEN walk in!" He shouted.
The door opened, and Gourry Gabriev walked in, rubbing the back of his head nervously.
"Sorry about that. Am I late?"
"No, no, you're right on time. Go sit down." Zelgadis rolled his eyes, then started when he saw Gourry heading for the benches. "No! Up there!" He pointed at the judge's stand, and the judge laughed in embarrassment as he walked back to the stand and sat down.
"Well... okay, here I am. Let's go." Gourry looked around, then pointed to Mendo. "You wanna go first?"
Mendo nodded, and stood up.

"Your honor, I have with me undisputable proof that the young man that you see before you," he stopped, pointing at Ranma's bench, "is in fact the head of the vile Yakuza that infests Tokyo 3. And now I-"
"Wait, hold it," Gourry interrupted, "which one? The guy with the pigtail?"
Mendo blinked. "No, the short, skinny one."
Gourry frowned. "Are you sure? The other guy looks a lot more mob-boss-ish. Or maybe the bald guy?"
Mendo began to twitch. "Your honor, that is simply the attorney defending the mob boss and his assistant. The small one is the gangster."
Gourry scratched his chin, then turned to Zelgadis. "Which is worse?" Zelgadis shrugged.
Mendo cleared his throat, clearly annoyed. "As I was saying, I'd like to call Ten to the stand, your honor."
Gourry shrugged, and a small boy wearing a tiger-striped diaper floated in from the rear of the courthouse. He had green hair with a single horn sticking out, and was also wearing black sunglasses.
Ranma gaped. "Hey! It's the office mailboy!"
Mendo ignored Ranma's outburst and waited until Ten was sworn in. "Now, Mr. Ten, you are a secret agent in the employ of the Japanese government, correct?"
"Correct." Ten answered casually. Shinji stiffened slightly, and Ranma continued gaping.
Mendo smirked. "No doubt you were placed in the employ of the law firm you 'officially' work for as a plant for the government? Am I right?"
"No, I just work there." Ten yawned.
Mendo blinked, taken off-guard by his assumption. "Er... right. Well, you have been doing some investigative work around Mr. Ikari, am I right?" Ten nodded, and Mendo continued. "Please inform us of what you found."
Ten nodded and pulled a stack of photos from out of nowhere. "Here's a shot of his apartment. Please note the huge, plasma-screen, 48" TV, the deluxe sound system, the state-of-the-art Magi personal computer unit, the genuine mahogany bookcase, and the life-size elephant statue forged from solid gold and lined with 24 karat diamond-encrusted platinum bands."
"Dang. I'm gonna have a hard time trying to explain that last one," Ranma mumbled.
"The next picture shows him paying large sums of money to two scary-looking big guys with guns. The next picture shows him carrying an important-looking briefcase with the words 'NERV Tech' and handing it to a bunch of other scary people in exchange for money. This next picture was taken on the inside of one of the Yakuza's strip clubs, and shows him getting lap dances from several girls at once."
Ranma's eyes bugged out slightly, and he turned to stare at Shinji, who was holding his head in his hands and cursing quietly, momentarily dropping his 'spineless' act. "Damn..."
Mendo nodded, and gestured for Ten to go on. When he didn't, Mendo frowned. "Well? What about the others?"
Ten blushed slightly, then chuckled. "Well, uh, after I got into the club, I kinda used up the rest of the film taking pictures of the club's girls."
Mendo stared, then snatched away the pictures before rifling through them. "Hmph, you're right." Mendo pocketed the photos, ignoring Ten's cry of protest, and walked toward his bench. "Nothing further, your honor."
Ranma stood up. "I'd like to call Ms. Asuka Langley to the stand!"
The redhead was sworn in and led to the booth, where Ranma turned to face her.
"Now, Miss Langley, can you describe your friend Shinji for the court?"
Asuka snorted. "Sure. He's an idiot and a spineless wimp. And a pervert."
"Not the kind of person that would run an organized ring of mobsters, is he?"
Asuka barked out a laugh. "Please! That moron would probably break down and cry if he stole some gum from a K-Mart!"
Ranma smiled. "You also described him as a 'pervert', correct? So would he be the type to enter a strip joint?"
The redhead snorted again. "I'm surprised he worked up the guts to go in, let alone talk to a woman in a G-string, but yeah, I guess so."
Ranma turned back around, addressing the courtroom. "Which, may I remind all of you, is not illegal!" He turned back to Asuka. "And what about those other photos? The ones that show him giving money to obvious criminals?"
Asuka shook her head. "Get real. Shinji would run at the sight of them. Must be his long-lost twin brother or something."
Ranma blinked. "Long-lost twin broth..." 'Hey, there's an angle I hadn't thought of!' "So there you have it!" Ranma cried, turning back toward the spectators. "Shinji's long-lost twin brother, or, in the case that Mendo comes up with birth records to prove otherwise, a convincing look-alike! Perhaps forgeries or doctored prints! They are not-"
"Objection!" Mendo roared, "the photographs presented were issued by a trusted government official! For the purposes at hand, you cannot question their authenticity, only their content!"
Ranma glared at Mendo, then looked up toward Gourry. Mendo did the same, fierce determination in his eyes.
Gourry blinked. "What're you all looking at me for?"
Zelgadis sighed. "Are you sustaining or overruling?"
"I'm just sitting here."
Zelgadis and Ranma both facefaulted.
Ranma staggered to his feet. "Nothing further." Then he walked to his bench.
Mendo shook his head warily, then opened up a folder and scanned it before looking up again. "I'd like to call Shinji Ikari to the stand, your honor."
Shinji was sworn in, and took a seat before Mendo approached slowly.
"Now, Mr. Ikari. Your official occupation is 'Eva pilot', correct?"
"Correct," Shinji answered nervously.
Mendo nodded, and grinned viciously. "Really? How do you explain the picture of your room, presented earlier? That was your room, correct?"
Shinji tugged on his collar a bit. "Uhm, yeah, I guess..."
"Quite... lavish, for a young man who's frequently exploited and sent into life-and-death struggles for little or no compensation, wouldn't you say?" Mendo pressed on. "That's a very nice mahagony desk, by the way."
Shinji chuckled as cold sweat poured down his face. "Th-Thank you. It was... on sale at Best Buy."
"And the elephant?"
"Er... a family heirloom?" Shinji gestured.
"Odd, you don't sound too sure about that." Mendo smirked and sauntered off a bit. "I have reports of you being unnaccounted for at several different instances each week. Care to explain?"
"I, uh," Shinji stuttered out, "I'm just... doing wimpy, meek things that criminals would laugh at. Why?"
"Oh? Can you give us a few examples?"
Shinji twitched slightly. "No! It's none of your business!" He flinched back immediately after the outburst, regretting it instantly.
Mendo shook his head. "Nothing further. Your witness Saotome."
Ranma nodded, and walked up to the podium purposefully before looking Shinji straight in the eyes. "Are you a mob boss?"
Shinji blinked. "No."
"Nothing further, your honor." Ranma returned to his bench.
"Wow, this is gonna be a tough decision," Gourry remarked, holding his head as if deep in thought. Below him, Zelgadis slapped his forehead.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Ranma walked into the bar cheerily, and casually slapped Ryoga on the back as he took his normal seat at the bar. "What's up Hibiki? Still can't find the door?"
"Go to hell," Ryoga mumbled, his head resting face down on the counter.
Ranma simply smiled and shook his head. "Yo! Terry! Whiskey over here!"
Terry Bogard nodded in his usual cool, impersonal way, and slid Ranma a shot.
"So, I heard your doing some work for Ikari, Ranma." Terry ventured, dry-washing a glass.
Ranma shrugged. "Yeah, well, he's in it deep."
Terry smirked slightly. "I'm not sure if you realize it yet, but so are you."
Ranma puzzled over that for a moment, when he heard the door squeak open.
Shinji poked his head in, then slowly entered, looking as if he was waiting to be caught doing something he shouldn't (which was understandable, as he was rather far under the drinking age).
Terry leaned on the counter. "You lost, kid?"
Shinji looked at him nervously, then pointed to Ranma. "I... can I speak to him? Just for a moment?"
Terry stared for a moment, and then, as if at some silent signal, nodded. "All right Ryoga, time to go." He walked out from behind the counter and grabbed the lost boy by the shoulder.
"You mean... I'm going home?" Ryoga looked up at the blond martial artist, hope swimming in his eyes.
"Not really. But you are getting out of here, so I guess it's a start." Terry shoved open the front door, then launched Ryoga out onto the streets.
Ryoga's cry of "Thank you!" was cut off as Terry closed the door, and then stood by it as he nodded to Shinji.
The young Eva pilot again dropped his spineless act, and took out a cigar. "All right kid, you done good so far, but I really can't take any chances. You get me out of this, and big things are coming your way, alright?" Shinji smiled. "I'm glad we had this little talk. A friend like me could do a friend like you wonders, you know." Shinji slipped on a ring, and Terry approached.
"Bogard, I need to work off some stress."
"Of course," the martial artist replied, then leaned down to kiss Shinji's ring.
Ranma watched the whole scene in a kind of muddled stupor.
Terry then led Shinji to the [Employees Only] door, and opened it for him. Because of the angle to Ranma, he could only see the opened door, and not what was inside.
"Hello everyone! It's me!" There was a cheer, and Shinji entered the room grinning as several fluffly bras of various colors flew out of the doorway and fluttered onto the floor of the bar.
Terry shut the door, and got the broom.
"Is there a strip club on the other side of that door?" Ranma ventured, unable to come to terms with what he just saw.
Terry didn't look up. "Don't be ridiculous. It's just a storage garage."
Ranma stared at the door for a while longer, then looked down at his whiskey. He raised his right hand, mouthed some silent words, then shoved the shot glass away from him before walking out the door.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Well, here's to another segment of the daily grind." Ranma lifted up his cup of coffee, and Inu-Yasha did the same before they both tilted their cups to their mouths and gulped it down.
"Ranma!!" Mousse appeared out of nowhere screaming, causing both employees to spit out their drinks in surprise.
"What?! What?!" Ranma shouted in panic.
Mousse rubbed his hands together nervously as he stared directly at the water cooler on the other end of the room. "Saotome, we need to talk!"
"Over here, fool," Ranma snapped. Mousse turned around, then put an arm around Inu-Yasha and led him away.
"Look here Saotome, you've gotten the firm into something big, and by big, I mean really really bad!" Mousse shouted.
Behind him, Ranma raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"I mean the Yakuza! You have to pull this off, Saotome, or we're all in a world of hurt!" Mousse took a deep breath, then lowered his voice to the point where Ranma had to actually approach to hear him. "This morning, when I woke up, I found a huge, slimy lump next to me!"
"That was your wife, dolt!" Inu-Yasha threw Mousse's arm off of him.
"Why would I marry something like that?!" Mousse shouted in distress.
"Because you're blind as a termite, and twice as stupid!" Ranma admonished. Then he adjusted his tie, and added, "And also because I got Shampoo as a secretary instead of you."
"Why you little..." Mousse growled, and then launched himself at a potted plant in the corner and began to wrestle it to the ground.
Ranma and Inu-Yasha stepped out of the break room, only to run into Ten.
Ranma crossed his arms over his chest. "Well well, if it isn't the little traitor. What brings you here? A government conspiracy, maybe?"
Ten shrugged. "Not since last week, with the big satellite fiasco. Look Saotome, I just wanted to talk to you. The mutt can leave."
Inu-Yasha twitched slightly, but left the room, muttering about small, floating annoying creatures the whole way.
"Okay Ranma, listen up. If we can get through that thick skull of Gabriev's, we can finally put away one of the most dangerous criminal masterminds for good, and perhaps even get a foothold on eliminating the most powerful crime orginization in all of Japan. All that's standing between us and that goal is you. So if you happen to, say, 'mess up', I have some friends who just might be able to help you deal with Mr. Ikari's temper. Got it?"
Ranma frowned. "But isn't this kid supposed to be the world's last hope for defending itself from the angels or something? If you put Shinji away, wouldn't Nerv fall apart and the angels overrun the Earth's defenses and extinguish all life as we know it?"
Ten shrugged. "Eh. You can't make an omellette without breaking some eggs, and all that jazz. Remember what I said, Saotome." Ten started to float away, only to stop when Ranma cleared his throat rather loudly.
"What?"
"My mail?" Ranma asked, glaring at the little alien.
Grumbling to himself, Ten changed direction and floated for the mail room.
Inu-Yasha entered a moment later. Ranma turned to face him immediately. "You heard everything?"
Inu-Yasha nodded. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"That we should blow off the case, get wasted, and then end up waking next to divorce support group patients, even though we're sure that we ended up crashing a Irishman's bachelor party?"
Inu-Yasha blinked, astounded. "Yes... how did you-"
"Actually, no," Ranma answered, "I was thinking more along the lines of how I'm going to win this case for my client."
"I... see. Magic 8-ball's broken?"
Ranma nodded somberly. "Cracked by the same support beam that crushed my adversary. Took it to the shop just yesterday."
Inu-Yasha nodded. "You got an angle?"
Ranma grinned. "You betcha. Surprise witness. Just wait, this one can't lose!"
__________________________________________________________________________________

Ranma walked up the bench, smiling warmly. "Your honor, I would like to call Miss Nuku Nuku to the stand."
Gourry blinked and shrugged. "Nuku Nuku? What kind of a name is that?" He muttered, even as the front entrance of the courthouse opened.
Shinji started twitching as the bubbly redhead bounced into the room. "No... please... not her..."
Ranma gave him a wave to assure that everything was okay as Nuku Nuku was sworn in.
The android catgirl took her seat at the stand, and caught sight of Shinji. "Hi boss!" She waved to him enthusiastically. Shinji slapped his forehead.
Ranma bigsweated and stepped between Nuku Nuku and his client. "Now Ms. Nuku, you don't really know the defendent, do you?"
"Uh uh!" Nuku Nuku shook her head no, her smile instantly replaced by a serious expression.
Ranma breathed a sigh of relief. "Right. Now, you work at the establishments that are supposedly run by members of the Yakuza, correct?"
"Uh... do I?" Nuku puzzled, forgetting how she should answer that question. Shinji twitched.
Ranma nodded his head slightly.
"Oh! Yes, I am!"
"My God..." Mendo muttered, trying to keep from laughing aloud.
'Maybe this wasn't as good an idea as I thought it was...' "So you have never had any contact with my client, correct? You have never seen him in or around any of the areas you frequent?"
"Nope!" Nuku Nuku shook her head once more.
"What about the photographs taken by Ten? And that kid in the photos?"
Nuku Nuku put a hand to her chin in thought. "That boy... looks a lot like Shinji, but he's really just another guy. Up close they don't even look that much alike. Really! He's the one I work for, so I see him a lot!" Nuku Nuku finished, then smiled toward Ranma. "How was that?"
*Bam!* *Bam!* *Bam!* *Bam!* Shinji started banging his head on the desk he was at, much to Mendo's amusement.
Ranma grit his teeth and whispered back at his witness. "Not now!"
Mendo chuckled on the edge of full-blown laughter as he stood up. "If I may examine the witness?"
Ranma sighed and returned to his bench, Shinji glaring at him.
Mendo walked up to Nuku Nuku, grinning. "Now, Ms. Nuku, answer me one question. Do you or do you not work under a young man that is called, in many crime circles, the 'Iron Dragoon'?!" Mendo's voice rose to a shout at the end, and he gripped the stand as he stared fiercely into Nuku Nuku's eyes.
Nuku scratched her head in confusion. "Iron Dragoon? They call him the 'Steel Dragon'."
Mendo blinked. "Er, what? Steel Dragon?"
"Nope! I've never heard that name before!" Nuku Nuku insisted, shaking her head.
Mendo stared, then shook his head. "Nothing further."
Gourry looked flabbergasted as he tried to go over the last interrogation. "Wait... but, how could she not... I mean, she's the one who... she must know..."
"Don't think about it too hard, you'll hurt yourself," Zelgadis muttered.
A look of misery set upon Ranma's face, and Shinji sighed. "Don't worry too much. I told them to make it quick." Ranma twitched.
"Your honor," Mendo began, "Despite having more than enough evidence to convict Mr. Ikari as it is, I'd like to call in one final witness. The 'final nail in the coffin', if you will. I'd like to call Rei Ayanami to the stand!"
Shinji jolted forward, startled. Ranma leaned in close. "What?"
"I... I already got her... how..." Shinji muttered under his breath in a stupor, then blinked. "Damn! I forgot, they have backups of her!"
Ranma could only blink as the quiet bluette was sworn in, and Mendo approached her.
"Now Ms. Ayanami, you too work for the Yakuza crime lord, correct?"
"Yes."
"Can you point him out for the court?" Mendo smirked.
Rei pointed straight to Shinji, who simply buried his head with his arms.
"And this is the infamous... er... 'Steel Dragon'?"
"Yes."
"When was the last time you saw the defendent?"
"Four days ago, at Nanami's Bar & Grill."
"What was he doing?"
"Collecting his share of the profits, as well as distributing handguns to the new guards."
Mendo raised an eyebrow. "Guns, eh? And guards? What were they guarding?"
"The private strip club and gambling bar in the back."
Mendo nodded somberly. "Yet another Yakuza operation, no doubt. Who owns that restaraunt?"
"Nanami Jinnai."
"And the club?"
"Steel Dragon owns it, though Mistress Jinnai runs it."
Mendo nodded. "I think I've made my point. Nothing further."
Rei got up from the stand, then walked over to Shinji's bench and bowed. "I'll see you on Tuesday."
"Actually, that's looking kind of iffy," Shinji remarked dryly, twitching. Rei didn't understand the response, but left anyway.
Shinji turned to Ranma. "Well pal, it's been nice knowing you."
*Splash* [Son, I'm sorry I wasn't able to help you this time. I'll miss you.]
Ranma's eyebrow twitched. "Like you EVER help!" Then he took a deep breath to calm himself. 'Okay big guy, moment of truth. You can do this... aw hell, who am I kidding? I'm dead, and I know it! If only there was some other way to......' his thought trailed off, and a big light bulb appeared over his head, showering the courtroom in light.
"That's not a good sign," Mendo muttered.
Ranma turned off the light to reduce the glare, then turned to Gourry, who was trying to recover his vision. "Your honor, please excuse me, I have something very important to do before I give my closing statement!" Ranma immediately rushed out of the room, even as Gourry stuttered his permission.
"What could he be up to?" Mendo wondered aloud, though quietly.

Shinji was just about to go look for his attorney, when there was a distant splashing of water, followed by footsteps.
Everbody's eyes went to the entrance that Ranma had left through, and were thus witness to a very attractive redheaded woman walking past, although she was wearing a man's business suit.
She walked out of the view afforded by the open door, and a feminine gasp floated into the courtroom.
"Oh no! I spilled coffee on myself!"
*Whooosh!* Mendo was out the door and in the hallway almost instantly, while everyone else was wondering how she spilled coffee when she didn't have any.
"Now Miss, I can-" *Thwack!* *Pow!* *Smash!* *Crack!* ............. *Splash*
Ranma once again entered the courtroom, male and wet with a thin veil of steam around him.
He took his seat at the bench, his face grim and serious.
Gourry blinked. "Uhm... why are you wet? Where did you go?"
Ranma smiled. "Oh, just had to freshen up a bit, you know?"
Gourry apparently accepted that, but still had another question. "Why is there a coffee stain on your pant leg?"
Ranma looked down at his leg, then back up at the judge. "I have no idea," he answered honestly.
At that point, one of the guards outside the courthouse dragged Mendo's body into the courtroom. "Your honor! Look!"
Ranma stood up immediately, feigning shock. "Oh my God, they killed Mendo!"
Genma held up a sign. [You bastards!]
Ranma immediately turned to Gourry. "Your honor, it is well-known that during a trial, if one of the attorneys is found dead, then the case immediately goes to the remaining attorney. Namely, me."
Zelgadis sighed and shook his head. Gourry blinked. "No kidding? Well, then-"
"He's not dead yet!" The guard shouted.
Ranma blinked. "Uh... I'm sure you're also aware that the same rule applies when the opposing attorney is mortally wounded..."
"I think he might pull through!"
Ranma's eye twitched. "Well, obviously he can't continue the case when he's hurt that badly..."
"He's getting better!"
Ranma growled, then took a deep breath. "I'm afraid the same rule applies when, after an untimely assault that leaves the attorney near death, and it seems he's about to make a miraculous recovery in time to finish the trial, he's suddenly shot and killed without warning or ceremony." Ranma jerked his head over at Shinji, who nodded and waved out the window before pointing to Mendo.
*Toom!* A sniper shot rang out, shattering a window and sending broken glass all over the floor.
"Never mind! He's a goner!"
Ranma nodded, then looked up at Gourry hopefully.
"Well... if that's the rule, then... he's innocent! I guess..." Gourry gave a confused shrug, then yawned and stepped down from the podium before exiting behind Zelgadis who was muttering quietly the whole way.

Ranma waited until they had exited, then collapsed onto the floor, his energy expended from fueling sheer hope.
Shinji entered his field of vision, standing over him and leaning to look him in the eyes. "Well I'll be damned. You pulled it off."
Ranma flipped up, then dusted off his suit. "Ranma Saotome never loses! Well... not when my life is on the line, anyway."
Shinji chuckled. "Right. I'll have my down payment delivered to your office. Nice work, kid." With that said, Shinji immediately adopted a nervous and scared, albeit tremendously relieved, expression and exited the courtroom, avoiding eye contact with everyone.
Ranma idly wondered what his former client meant by that as he grabbed his panda, er, father and dragged him out of the courtroom, making sure to step on Mendo's corpse on the way out.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Inu-Yasha grinned fiercely as Ranma entered the office, a victorious grin on his face.
"Surprise comeback! Who's the man! You're the man!"
Ranma looked away in false bashfulness. "Naw... I am, aren't I?"
They both laughed for a moment, before a skinny guy in pleated jeans and a t-shirt approached.
"Hey, the name's Ataru Moroboshi. I'm the new mailboy."
Ranma blinked. "What happened to the squirt?"
Ataru managed a knowing shrug. "He passed away in an unfortunate, but rather well-timed and remarkably convenient UFO crash. I hear they fed his body to the penguin."
Ranma winced. "Ah."
"You did good, and the boss wants to show his gratitude. Here're two VIP passes to the Lonely Wolf gentlemen's club. Plus there's something for you upstairs." Ataru started to walk away, when Ranma cleared his throat loudly.
Ataru blinked. "What?"
"And my mail?" Ranma glared at him.
Ataru stared for a moment, then changed direction and walked off. "Yeah, yeah, hold your horses." He muttered.

Upon recieving his letters, Ranma walked to his office, followed by Genma and Inu-Yasha.
Ranma stared at the 10-foot tall gold likeness of an evangelion as it pointed a platinum autogun at the spot where his clients usually sat.
"Now THAT is going to be a collector's item," Inu-Yasha said appreciatively.
Ranma turned to his receptionist. "Shampoo, how did they fit it through the door?"
She shrugged. "Shampoo not know? But they also install wine cellar downstairs. Mousse down there right now, shouting about toxic waste dump." Shampoo rolled her eyes, once again thanking her lucky stars that she had gotten her desired position (wink wink, nudge nudge) with Ranma instead of the head of the firm.
Ranma entered his office, then looked out the window at the endless sea of streetlights that decorated Tokyo.
Inu-Yasha continued staring at the statue. "Hey Ranma, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"That we should get stoned, go to Terry's club, get some strippers' phone numbers, then go spend the rest of the night howling at the moon?"
The half-youkai stared. "How do you DO that? Are you psychic or something?"
Ranma shook his head. "I wish, my friend. I wish." 'Who knows what the future will bring? ......... Damn, I really need to get my 8-ball back.'
*Splash* Genma doused himself with a bucket of cold water, forgetting that he was already a panda.
[To be continued?] "Growf!"

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Case 2 [Closed]