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O CESSATE DI PIAGARMI (OH NO LONGER SEEK TO PAIN ME)

 

 

Disclaimer: The characters don’t belong to me, and the song belongs to some long-dead Italian dude.

Author’s Note: O Cessate di Piagarmi (oh chay-saw-tay dee pee-ah-gar-me) is an Italian opera song my mother taught me when I was little. The pronunciation and English translation are to the side of the Italian lyrics.

O cessate di piagarmi (oh chay-saw-tay dee pee-ah-gar-me) Oh no longer seek to pain me
O lasciatemi morir (oh lay-shaw-tay-me more-rear) Oh give o’er and let me die
O lasciatemi morir

She’s found someone else. I can understand why though. I was gone for so long. She needed someone, and I wasn’t there. I was dead. So she hasn’t really broken our vows. They were until death do us part. If you go by that, we haven’t truly been married since the day I was killed along with my brother.

I understand, but it still hurts. I still want to die.

I think back to my first death. It was so long ago. Before HE came. The one who’s been in my heart more than poor Chi-Chi since the day I first saw him.

I told him about Chi-Chi and her lover. He looked at me like I was a complete moron, which he believes me to be.

"Of course she found someone else, idiot," he had said. "You were dead for seven years and we thought it was permanent. Did you expect her to just stay alone and unhappy forever?"

The look he gave me was so filled with disgust that I ran off. Oh, Kami, I just want it to end. There’s nothing here for me. Gohan’s all grown up, Goten considers Vegeta more of a father than me, Chi-Chi loves another, and Vegeta.... Vegeta hates me.

Luc’ingrate, dispietate (lew-chin-grot-ay dee-spee-ay-tah-tay) Eyes so fateful, so ungrateful
Luc’ingrate, dispietate
Piu del gelo e Piu del marmi (pew del gay-low ay pew del mar-me) Ice nor stone could so disdain me
Frede e sorde a miei martir (Fray-day sore-day meeay mar-teer) Nor so coldly hear my cry.
Frede e sorde a miei martir

Their eyes haunt me the most. Chi-Chi’s used to be filled with love, but it’s been replaced with hate. Vegeta’s eyes have mostly been filled with pain since Bulma died. Pain and hate and...something else. I know it’s crazy, but sometimes I swear I see love in his eyes when he looks at me.

It’s ridiculous, I know. I’d get more warmth from a chunk of ice. The only thing he feels for me other than hatred is disdain. I cried my heart out to him and he coldly turned away. I know he’s still hurting from Bulma’s death, but we could have comforted each other.

O cessate di piagarmi
O lasciatemi morir
O lasciatemi morir

I start lowering my ki, letting the energy drain from my body. It’s cold here, covered in a thick blanket of snow. I’ll die soon. Images of Chi-Chi and Vegeta dance through my head, causing me pain.

I wish they’d just leave me alone and let me die in peace. I close my eyes, only to open them again a few minutes later when I feel a sharp pain in the back of my head.

"Get up, Kakarot," Vegeta says, sounding cranky as he kicks me in the back of the head again.