From gemela_de_quatre Federation Naval Hospital. 1. Chibbi Trowa chases the rest of the chibbi pilots around with a butcher knife. Trowa: MOO HOO HAA!!! Guys: AAAAUGHHHHH!!! Trowa: MOO HOO HAA!!! Guys: Aaauuughhhhhhh!!! (I like Eek the Cat) 2. Duo: Oh, say can you see... my eyes if you can, man, my hair's too short! 3. Lady Une: GO CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOUNG MAN! Trowa: But Auntie Une... Une: NOW! (pulls Trowa into his room by his ear & slams the door) 4. Hiiro: H-hello... my name's... Hiiro...& I...I'm addicted to the Zero system! (Quatre & Zechs clap politely) (They'll never admit it...) 5. Hiiro: Must control... urge... to square dance! 6. Duo: Must control... urge... to ballet! 7. Trowa: Must control... urge... to Macarena! 8. Quatre: Must control... urge... to Disco! 9. Wufei: Must control... urge... to clog! 10. Wufei & Dorothy stand at the bus stop. Quatre (Slides in from the side): HOY JAYEGI BALLE BALLE! (Wufei blushes profusely as Dorothy smiles innocently...) 11. Wufei steps off a bus in Marine uniform with a suitcase. Quatre (Steps out of a house): Ghasp! Bhhhhaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiii!!!! Wufei: Baji! (Quatre runs up & hugs Wufei) 12. Wufei: my name's Wufei... but you can call me... LITTLE WUFEI!!! (Sticks index fingers in cheeks & smiles) 13. Wufei: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me! Rest of the guys: He's just a poor boy from a poor family! 14. Wufei (Watching Card Captor Sakura): Y'know, that girl reminds me of my long, lost sister, Mei-lin... 15. Hiiro: I hated Health class...My teacher talked about my disorders too much... 16. Hiiro (Looking at Duo): Ergh! I can't... I have to control myself! Every time he comes into the room I just... want...to...do his hair! (Starts bawling) 17. Duo: Man, I know why people think we're gay... it's Duran Duran's last big hit... & one of my songs... & that novel... dang... 18. Folken: Hiiro & Van both have tight pants. Trieze: They both act stuck up. Folken: They both have bad hair. Trieze: They both wear super-loose shirts. Folken: They're both bothered by guys with long, blonde hair who both have crazy sisters who chase after them. Trieze: They both are associated with angels. Trieze/Folken: Coincidence? WE THINK NOT!!!! 19. Zechs & Noin kiss. Wufei: INNNNNCESSSSTTT!!!! 20. Zechs (Dressed in police outfit): Y-M-C- hey! Get up & move! (G- pilots sitting behind him in other village people attire, all loooking unhappy) 21. Hiiro: (Puts down quill pen & crumples up paper) Nights in White Satin... 22. Trowa: Oh, Relena, Relena... whereforart thou, Relena... Deny thy father & refuse thy name Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, & I will no longer be a Barton...wait, I'm not a Barton...ah, whatever! 23. Trowa: Like, gag me with a spoon! 24. Quatre: Turn thee, Hiiro, look upon thy death! Hiiro: I do but keep the peace. Put up thy sword... 25. Duo: 2x3...=6... So what these people are saying is that me x Trowa= Zechs? 26. Hiiro: Some people call me the Space Cowboy, some people call me the Gangsta' of Love... some people call me MAURICE!!! (woo-wooo!) 27. Quatre (Blows on a conch): I'VE GOT THE CONCH! (Lord of the Flies, William Golding) 28. Hiiro (On the 'net): Heeeeeeeey... you never WOULD see that on Gundam Wing! These people are good! 29. Hiiro: What's my inspiration...? Why am I here? (Curls into a fetal position & starts shaking) 30. Duo: Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, so I'll just eat worms! 31. Trowa: Little bunny FuuFuu... 32. Quatre: Carmen Miranda's ghost is haunting space station 3! (That's a REAL song!) Trowa: Nuh-uh! She's haunting the lunar base! Judy Garland & Ester Williams are haunting space station 3! 34. Quatre: Relena! You've got to see her! Go insane & out of your mind... 35. Hiiro: Relena... You're breaking my heart, you're shaking my conscience daily... Relena... I'm down on my knees, i'm begging you please to come home... 36. Noin: EATA!!! YOU SO SKINNY! (Stuffs Hiiro's mouth full of spaghetti) 37. Hiiro: Man... Everyone spells my name wrong... 38. Quatre: The people on the 'net like muliplication tables... 39. Wufei: Y'know, we pilot preservatives... if you think about it... (MSGs...) 40. Hilde: The only boy who could ever reach me, was the son of a preacher man! The only boy who could ever teach me, was the son of a preacher man! 41. Hiiro: (To his "adoring" fans) R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Find out what that means to me! 42. Quatre (On the computer): GHASP!! Wufei: What's wrong? Did you find a sick yaoi site or something? Quatre: I--It moves! (Points to animated GIF of Sandrock)... That's... scary...! 43. Hiiro (To Relena): Omae wa korosu... (Holds up pink water gun) 44. Quatre (In Wing Gundam Zero; Vayate & Mercurius appear): They're coming to take me, haha, they're coming to take me away heehee, haha, hoho! To funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time... 45. Quatre (On yaoi site): there are some times when a Gundam is not enough... does anyone have a hexadecimal? 46. Heavyarms & Deathscythe TANGO!!! (Not the pilots, the Gundams!) 47. Trowa (When Cathy nicked him with the knife): My face! You cut my beautiful face! (Do you remember Vega?) 48.Duo: FIRE AAARRRROW! Wufei: WATER DRAAAAAAAGON! Quatre: HEALING WIND! 49. Hiiro (Dressed as Lynn Minmei): Stagelights, flashing, the feeling smashing...my heart & soul go out to you... 50. Quatre: All the red tape, is mechanical rape of the TV program rage... 51. Hiiro (To Duo): Would you like a left part, or a right part? (holds up scissors) 52. Hiiro (Dressed as Minmei again): My boyfriend's a pilot! Duo: Act your age, not your pant size... 53. Quatre: Believe it or not...there's life after high school... 54. Hiiro: Sarah...Sarah...storms are brewin' in your eyes... Kamiru Bidan: Sorry, boy. Wrong Gundam season. 55. Trowa: Hey, Quatre! Wanna hear a dumb blonde joke? 56. Trowa: Well, then! Wanna hear a psycho blonde joke? 57. Duo & Hiiro are on the cover of People magazine. They are sitting back to back, smiling slightly, & it looks like they are shirtless. Over their heads sail red letters: SISTER LESBIAN LOVERS!!! (remember Heart?) 58. Hiiro tap dances in a red striped shirt! 59. Hiiro: Miss Noin? Can I sleep with you...? I'm afraid of the dark... (Hugs teddy bear tightly) 60. Dorothy: Hiiro... Relena: Boxers...or briefs? Both: Idano... 61. Quatre (on a stage, kneeling & clutching a microphone to his chest): Try to understand, TRY, TRY, TRYYYY TO UNDERSTAND...(opens eyes & slowly looks up, whispers)...he's a magic man... 62. Duo: Hey, what's the late night horror movie tonight? Wufei: They're showing The Killer Klowns From Outer Space. (Both look at Trowa) Duo: He doesn't...turn people into cotton candy, does he? 63. Trowa steps into the room. Wufei (Whispering to Duo): Here he comes...that's Cathy's Clown... 64. Noin: Treize put me on communication at age 12!!! Is that child labor or what? Sally: You should sue, girlfriend! 65. Van (Points to Wufei): You can't be from the Dragon clan! You don't have wings! Wufei: How do you know? (Crosses arms over chest protectively) Van (Blushes): I...uh... 67. Relena: Well, I ain't dumb, but I can't understand, why he walked like a woman & talked like a man, yeah, my Hiro... H-I-R-O, Hiro... 68. Narrator: A tale of... Dorothy (Dreamily): Star-crossed... Quatre: Lovers? 69. Hiiro picks up the telephone. Army Recruiter: Hello, can I please recruit your son, Li, for the US Ar- Hiiro: I served in the army for 10 years, 10 months, & 3 days, & my son is not getting into the army until he gets his PhD!!! (Hangs up haughtily) Li: Really, Daddy? Hiiro (Looks at phone): Uhh...wha? 70. Hiiro: Odinmon! Digivolve to...Hiiromon! 71. Duo: Would I look better with pigtails? Maybe a beaufont...or an afro...? 72. Trowa: I wanna do it again... Quatre: But...we did it last night... Trowa: C'mon. (Drags Quatre into his room) *About 30 minutes later* Trowa: Whad'ya think? (Pushes Quatre out in a bright pink polonaise & leans on the door jamb with a measuring tape draped around his neck) Wufei: Bring the hem up a little...maybe you might wanna add some lace around the collar, too... 73. Hilde: But...what about Hiiro...& Duo...? Relena: What they don't know won't hurt them... (Kisses hilde) (You'd NEVER see that!) 74. Wufei: Sera...punch! 75. Quatre: I see the girls go by dressed in their summer clothes; I have to turn my head until my darkness goes... 76. Duo: We're...we're just little marionettes in their intricate web of lust! (Starts crying) Trowa (Embraces Duo FRATERNALLY): It's ok. We'll make it through. We've survived a war, so I know we can survive OUR FANS...(looks around at the sympathetic faces of other Anime characters) 77. Relena (to Hiiro): My boyfriend's back, he'd gonna save my reputation! Duo & Quatre: Hey-la! Hey-la! My boyfriend's back! (Relena hugs Van's arm [that guy from Escaflowne...]) 78. Hiiro: Relena, I'm sick of waltzing....Let's samba! 79. Sally (to patient): Put d' lime in d' coconut & shake it all up! Put d' lime in d' coconut & shake it all up! Put d' lime in d' coconut & call me in d' mornin'! 80. Hiiro (In flowing gown): Once more...you open the door... 81. Relena: Hiiro must be...the Bionic Man! Duo: isn't that the Bionic Woman? Relena:... 82. Zechs: Jeez, can't you give a guy a break? Relena: Give a guy a break & you'll end up broken! Hiiro: Lina? whazzat mean? Relena: I have no idea! 83. Reporter: We are here with the retired Gundam pilots! Wufei, what were the exact instructions you were given? Wufei: They say in Heaven, love comes first; we'll make Heaven a place on Earth! 84. Quatre: Sim-sim Sala-bim! 85. Trowa: Y'know, I heard that Quatre & Duo are GIRLS!!! Wufei: Yeah, & that they BIND their chests! Hiiro: Well, they DO wear too modest of clothes for Gundam pilots... (Quatre & Duo walk by) All: They MUST be! 86. Trowa, Wufei, Hiiro (In cheerleader uniforms): Train, train, choo- choo train, our team's gonna win this game, WOO-WOO!!! WOO-WOO!!! Duo (to Quatre, both in basketball uniforms): Just...ignore them... 87. Trowa: I can dream about you, if I can't hold you tonight... I can dream about you, you know how to hold me just right... (Hugs Shenlong's main camera) 88. Hiiro: I shouldn't wear spandex pants...they should be velvet...crushed velvet... 89. Wufei: Oh, what can I tell you Catherine? Should break your heart or keep on lying? One thing leads to another...another & another... 90. Quatre (Wearing dark jeans, black leather chaps, boots, gloves & jacket, black goggles & with a red bandana tied around his head; starts up a dark red Harley Davidson Sportster) BURN RUBBER!!!!! (Roars off with all forty Maguanac guards trailing with equally impressive costumes & roadhogs) 91. Duo (Dressed as Mother Superior): How do you solve a problem like Relena? 92. Duo (Dressed in red dress, red spike high heels; hair in tight curls & sporting red lipstick & fake mole on cheek) We're living in a material world...& I am a material girl! 93. Reporter: may I have a word with you? Wufei: Sorry, I'm Canadian... Reporter: Oh, excuse me...(Blushes profusely & leaves quickly) 94. Hiiro pulls of fakey mask of monster All: It's Old Man Krypt! Old Man Krypt: & I would've done it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids & that dog... 95. Zechs (To Tallgeese): I can't tell you my love for you will still be strong, After the boys of summer have gone 96. Hiiro: I'm gonna take you by surprise, & make you realize, Relena... 97. Une: Master Treize... I have a confession... I used all of your rose bath oil... Treize: Lady, please leave so I can mourn the loss of my rose bath oil... Une: As you wish, Master Treize...(leaves room) 98. Wufei & Relena run as fast as they can, holding on to one another's hand; trying to get away into the night & they wrap their arms around each other & tumble to the ground. Wufei: I think we're alone now, there doesn't seem to be anyone around... Relena: I think we're alone now, the beating of our hearts is the only sound... 99. Quatre: Vengenace from the grave! Kill the people he once saved! Duo: Running as fast as they can! Heero Yuy lives again!!!! Hiiro: That's...sorta true... 100. Trowa: HEY! Who ate my chocolate bunny? Hiiro: can I...use your pimple cream? Trowa: YOU ATE MY CHOCOLATE BUNNY! (Runs out of the room crying) 101. Hiiro: Your love is like a river, peaceful & deep Duo: Your soul is like some chocolate that I never would eat Trowa: When I look into your eyes I know that it's true... Quatre: God should've spent...a little more time one you... Wufei: I'll leave beefore anyone makes me sing...ok? 102. Duo walks into a MS hangar with an icepack held to his forehead. Wufei: Didn't I tell you those fuzzy dice could become projectiles? 103. Hiiro holds out self-detonation device Announcer: Mentos! The fresh-maker! (Hiiro looks around questioningly) 104. Hiiro holds out self-detonation device again. Sailor Senshi jump down onto Wing Gundam Zero's shoulders. Sailor Mars: We're ready, Sailor Moon! Chibbi Moon: Yeah, Mommy! (hugs Hiiro's leg) (Hiiro looks around incomfortably) 105. Hiiro holds out self-detonation device YET again. Blue light suddenly bursts out of one side, forming inot a sword. Ryoko (Appears beside Hiiro): Oh, Tenchi! Ayeka's finally gone, so we can always be together! Hiiro (After screaming girlishly): WHY can't I kill myself? 106: Duo (to Une): Mommy... can you put my hair in pigtails before I go to school? 107. Hiiro strenuously sews a panel onto a teddy bear. Trowa (Bursts into room): HA! I knew you did THAT! Hiiro: I DO NOT! (looks around for place to put teddy bear) 108. Hiiro: Mission: destruction of MD... Duo: NO! ...I love my toilet paper... 109. Relena: Was it a dream...or an illusion? 110. Wufei (fighting Treize in the end): Who do you think you are? God or something? Treize: Uh...yeah... Wufei: Oh... 111. Duo (Walks up behind Hiiro): Whatcha reading? (pulls book out of Hiiro's hands & starts reading) Hiiro: It's nothing! give it back! Duo (rather red in the face): You can have it! I would've thought that a GUY like you wouldn't read ROMANCE NOVELS! (shoves book back to Hiiro & runs away) Hiiro: it's not a romance novel... 112. Noin (Singing with the kareoke machine): I was sixteen, he was twenty-ooooooone...& Papa would've shot him if he knew what he do- (Treize clamps hand over Noin's mouth) Treize: Don't sing that! Think about who was twenty-one when you were sixteen... Noin: Uhhhh...you? Treize (Nods vigorously): Those sick people on the internet probably already think that... 113. Cathy (In pink dress): Oh, dear brother, what have you got there? Trowa (Turns back to cathy & hugs mask protectively): Nothing! Nothing! You only see air! Cathy: Oh, dear brother, I love you very much! (Grabs mask & throws it on the ground, smashing it)... Ooooh, I guess I shouldn't touch! (Dexter's Laboratory) 114. Relena: I don't wanna be a princess...I want to be...a prince... (a la Utena)