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| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 5/4/2002 1:20:40 AM | Message
Detail |
Is in my sig, I am going to commit that crime
sometime soon, and this is the only place I can say it without being
stopped...
---
E-d-1-(-1-|_|-5... Why not? |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 5/5/2002 2:06:57 PM | Message
Detail |
*sighs*
Listen, you're only 14, what
could be so bad in your life already that would make you want to
kill yourself?
Then again.. I did start getting depressions
when I was 13 so I won't tell you to snap out of it and appreciate
what you have...because there are those of us that have too little
to ever believe we'll have a good life, so I understand that you may
feel that bad even already.
What do you have now? and
what is it you want in the future that you believe will never
come?
|
| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 5/5/2002 6:46:36 PM | Message
Detail |
Bah, I'm gonna worry about suicide another day,
ask me those questions when I'm not happy... I'm happy now cause I
found a good friend...
---
E-[)-1-(-1-|_|-5... Why not?
Because it's my Birthday, that's why! |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 5/5/2002 7:05:25 PM | Message
Detail |
| Glad to hear that. I'll be around though should
you need to talk to someone about anything, especially "it" because
death isn't anything to take lightly. |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 5/5/2002 7:09:57 PM | Message
Detail |
*looks at Goshawk's b-day topic*
I think
I can guess who it is you found :P |
| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 5/5/2002 9:32:57 PM | Message
Detail |
Midnight sun? I'm always on aim whenever I'm
on...
BTW Seejaysee is not my name, my aim name
is:
Lkal13
---
E-[)-1-(-1-|_|-5... Why not? |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 5/6/2002 12:12:13 PM | Message
Detail |
| *adds name to AIM contact list* |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 5/10/2002 11:27:31 AM | Message
Detail |
| *notices Goshawk is never on AIM* |
| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 5/10/2002 11:42:57 PM | Message
Detail |
Remember, I'm in school during the day, and
almost always on
every day after 8
CDT
---
E-[)-1-(-1-|_|-5... Why not? |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 5/11/2002 5:38:21 AM | Message
Detail |
| Ah, then you're always on while I'm
asleep. |
| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 5/12/2002 2:14:46 AM | Message
Detail |
What time zone do you happen to live my
friend?
---
E-[)-1-(-1-|_|-5... Why not? |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 5/12/2002 7:02:51 AM | Message
Detail |
GMT, 6 hours ahead of GameFAQs time.
I'm
in Scotland. |
| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 5/12/2002 9:52:31 PM | Message
Detail |
So, right now it's 4 in the morning...
If
it was 4 o'clock here... it'd be 10 there, try to get on at 10 pm
there? I get home from school around 3, I could get on at 4...
otherwise e-mail me: Lkal13@aol.com
---
E-[)-1-(-1-|_|-5...
Why not? |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 5/13/2002 11:34:20 AM | Message
Detail |
| More often than not I'm on between 10pm and
midnight, but if I still don't see you on AIM then I'll gladly
e-mail ya to see how things are going. |
| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 5/13/2002 10:26:24 PM | Message
Detail |
Yeah, just e-mail me sometime when you have
time...
---
E-[)-1-(-1-|_|-5... Why not? |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 5/17/2002 6:56:00 PM | Message
Detail |
| The e-mail in your profile better be
right. |
| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 5/17/2002 10:09:52 PM | Message
Detail |
Nope, it's a fake in my profile...
I told
you my real one it's
Lkal13@aol.com
---
One time for
your mind, your body and your soul, every time that I rhyme y'know
I'm in control |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 5/18/2002 4:56:17 AM | Message
Detail |
To hell with my attention span.
*resends
it to the right addy* |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 5/20/2002 1:04:29 AM | Message
Detail |
| Going to be away quite a bit this week, will try
to e-mail you when I can. |
| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 5/20/2002 1:54:34 AM | Message
Detail |
Damn, you weren't on...
---
****
off... |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 5/24/2002 5:22:20 PM | Message
Detail |
Another notice - this time, while I still won't
be online much, it's now because life is once again
****.
Advice - never fall in love with someone who doesn't
deserve it, who doesn't give a damn about you. |
| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 5/24/2002 11:20:58 PM | Message
Detail |
*barely knows what MS is talking
about*
Sorry, but
|
|
V
---
I'm confused |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 5/25/2002 6:35:49 AM | Message
Detail |
"*barely knows what MS is talking
about*"
Women, ma boy... women =P |
| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 5/25/2002 2:59:27 PM | Message
Detail |
Women are pretty, I like 'em a
lot...
Although it's women that cause my depression, knowing
none of them like me enough to be my "girlfriend"
---
I'm
confused |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 5/25/2002 7:23:19 PM | Message
Detail |
Like I said...you're only 14, you have a lot of
years left for a girl to notice you. Here's a thing...
For
the first 21 years of my life I went without any girls showing any
interest at all in me; not a sign, not a word, not a look. And I
don't just mean any of them showing any signs of wanting to be my
girlfriend but any interest at all including just being
friends.
I feel like I'm running out of time fast...and life
has shown itself to be cruel... I fell in love with a girl last year
but she is in love with one of her closest online friends. We're
friends too, infact she's staying here for a week and is asleep in
the next room over, and it kills me to see her forget about me as
all she can think about most of the time is him, when she hurts me
she doesn't care because all she wants in life is him...at anyone's
expense. I ask myself so damn often how I can feel anything for a
girl like this, who (and you'll have to take my word for this) is so
emotionally and mentally screwed up. She's been here since Monday
night and within four days she had been on my computer for a total
of 12 hours either talking to other people in irc or waiting for him
to show up, said more to them in one night than she had to me in the
whole time she's been here. She does a damn good job of making me
feel worthless. That's one example of why you shouldn't worry on
missing out on what females have to offer. Then again other people
find worth in love and relationships so it can't all be cold and
cruel.
My view of life, it's purpose, is that people need to
experience two things before it ends.
They need to feel love
for someone, whether romantically or family or
friendship.
They need to feel loved for who they
are.
I love people in my family, love two of my friends, and
love (though I at times wish I didn't) this girl. Yet I still
haven't felt loved, still don't know how it feels for someone to
want to be with me. I often think...believe that it'll never happen
to me. I don't see any reason why anyone would think enough of me to
want me to be with them. I thought I finally found someone who could
love me with this girl, for the first 5 months that we were friends
she cared about me and herself thought we could be together in the
future but what I never knew until two months ago is that she loves
and always has loved that friends of her's, she just didn't think he
would want to be with her and so she hid her feelings. Then when
they finally came out I wanted to fall asleep and not wake up. I
felt worthless after all the hope she had given me that we might
have something; I felt dead that all I said, thought and felt didn't
matter a damn, that my most powerful emotions didn't matter at all.
So what am I doing now? Waiting and holding onto a small bit of hope
that someone will appear in my life that I love and that loves me.
I used to get depressed a lot and it was usually because I
felt like no one noticed me and in truth they still don't. I don't
get depressed anymore because I think I just got so used to it that
it became easier to forget my worries when there was reason to think
about them and get depressed. Does that make sense? Probably
not.
Dammit. I've said a lot here but is there anything in
here that helps you? I don't think there's anything, you'll soon
learn why I'm known to write long e-mails...it's because of my
terrible habit of rambling on and on :P
I tell you more,
things that might help -
Don't wait and wait for that girl to
show up. You'll learn later in life that there are times when it's
best for you to go out and find someone instead of feeling down that
they haven't found you.
Lastly - and this is the thing
you have to remember - you're 14! Wait until you're 21 like me
before you let girls be the source of you're depression :P
Now...I know you don't like to say much at once so just say
whatever comes to mind and nothing else.
Ack! 1.30am, I meant
to just come online to check my e-mails, time I got to bed. |
| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 5/25/2002 10:40:03 PM | Message
Detail |
That's a lot to read, hold on a
sec...
---
I'm confused |
| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 5/25/2002 10:53:00 PM | Message
Detail |
Man, you really can write... a lot, I can write
songs (and songs only) when I really feel deeply about my feelings,
but otherwise I don't write a lot, usually.
You said the
first thing that comes to my mind, well, I know you say not to be
depressed about it, but, bah, hell, I'm gonna write a long
e-mail... |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 5/28/2002 12:02:59 PM | Message
Detail |
So much I was looking forward to talking with
you about, and now you're gone... dammit. Next time you're online I
hope you check this board, e-mail me if you can and I check it often
so I hope to see you again.
Strange thing is that you're 14
and your parents seem to expect too much from you too early, but as
much as it sucks you just have no choice so see you around. |
| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 5/28/2002 10:25:40 PM | Message
Detail |
Well... it's all in the e-mail, I'm on a sugar
high right now, so I don't know if you are on or what, I barely can
stand up let alone think straight, I snorted powdered lime jello.
And then ate the rest...
---
Rock on... |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 5/29/2002 11:57:15 AM | Message
Detail |
Hooray for insane boys, fun for all the family.
Been ages since I had a sugar high.
Now you're back for
the time being I can reply to the thing you told me about the girl
and the dance. |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 6/6/2002 3:40:01 PM | Message
Detail |
Sorry for not being very talkative recently,
been screwed over by a close friend and another close friendship
looks like ending. It's hard to get by when the people who you rely
on every day to give you something to look forward to just stop
caring or hurt you.
How are things with you?
---
Oh
yes, what is the ZSB? The ZSB is a perverted version of hell,
basically. One moment while I chew my weenie... ~
l5Spiders |
| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 6/6/2002 4:09:25 PM | Message
Detail |
Yeah, many friends have screwed me over many
times, but I end up finding one or two better ones, hope that
happens with you...
Today I'm very happy.... heres
why!!!
1. Tomarrows the last day of school
2. I haven't
had homework all week and we get to watch a movie tomarrow all
day
3. I've gotten 3 girls phone numbers in the past 5
hours
4. I got a new hat, this hat is awesome!!!!
And I'm
happy!!!! I hope that you find some really good friends
soon
Hey, you posted that 20 minutes ago, are you on
now???
---
Member of Event Horizon, If you have ANY problems
with it... **** off |
| From: snowblind
| Posted: 6/6/2002 4:26:28 PM | Message
Detail |
I'm on *is Midnight Sun's other account*. I
don't see you on. Sure it's Lkal13?
And yes, I have one close
friend left and I've never felt so secure in a friendship. But
things can change...though he's a great guy and cares.
3 in 5
hours?!!!?! Argh! Tell me your secret now!
---
Yeah, he's a
freaking idiot. I don't know how I put up with him. |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 6/21/2002 12:35:27 PM | Message
Detail |
bump
Want to keep thia around for a bit
longer.
---
Oh yes, what is the ZSB? The ZSB is a perverted
version of hell, basically. One moment while I chew my weenie...
~ l5Spiders |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 6/25/2002 6:14:44 PM | Message
Detail |
Yo, hey. Weekend was nice, yesterday was nice
but today has been screwed.
I'm starting to feel a lot of
resentment towards her, and you know why? cause she doesn't give a
****, and she's fine with screwing me over yet she treats everyone
else well, and they don't see the side I've seen so she loses
nothing, I lose a ****ing lot. It feels like she's messed with my
feelings and got away without the slightest bit what she deserves.
Bah! I say.
Sorry to rant, but I had to get it out. See you back
on AIM soon.
---
Oh yes, what is the ZSB? The ZSB is a
perverted version of hell, basically. One moment while I chew my
weenie... ~ l5Spiders |
| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 6/26/2002 8:46:57 PM | Message
Detail |
Don't worry about *****ing or moaning. In my
world, no one can annoy me with things like that
---
"I
may be a vet, but I have the popularity of a reg. and the knowledge
of a n00b, but I'm not as annoying... or am I..." -Me |
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 7/7/2002 11:49:53 AM | Message
Detail |
Call me sentimental but I'd like to keep this
topic around.
Da bump.
---
Oh yes, what is the ZSB?
The ZSB is a perverted version of hell, basically. One moment while
I chew my weenie... ~ l5Spiders |
| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 7/7/2002 9:25:41 PM | Message
Detail |
*coughbumpzillacough*
---
Blada blada
blada blada blada blada blada blada blada blada an' gah damnit you
little mother trucker if ya got nuthin nice to say then don't say
nutin |
| From: little
beelzebub | Posted: 7/7/2002 9:50:50 PM | Message
Detail |
I just began reading this, so I thought I'd say
something. I hate to be harsh midnight sun but give her up. If she
doesn't pay attention to you then give her the boot. Stop worrying
about it, go out to a bar, ask somebody out, and leave your computer
alone for a while. Trust me, if you are confident enough almost any
girl will go out with you.
---
WHY DOESN'T ANYONE KNOW WHAT MY
NAME MEANS!!!!IF ANYONE KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS PUT SO IN YOUR POST WHEN
YOU SEE THIS!!!(15 PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN IT RIGHT)
|
| From: Goshawk
| Posted: 7/7/2002 10:16:21 PM | Message
Detail |
Wow, someone actully found it...
cool
Beezlebub is aname for satan, I think...
---
Blada blada blada blada blada blada blada blada blada
blada an' gah damnit you little mother trucker if ya got nuthin nice
to say then don't say nutin |
| From: snowblind
| Posted: 7/8/2002 11:31:52 AM | Message
Detail |
Thank you for what you said there but I've begun
(or am trying to) move on. Three weeks ago I said bye to her for the
last time and so far there's still some anguish, hard to forget her,
even though I know how wrong she was for me. Ah, have to go play
Unreal Tournament with a friend right now, back to comment more
later.
---
Yeah, he's a freaking idiot. I don't know how I put
up with him. |
| From: little
beelzebub | Posted: 7/8/2002 12:06:01 PM | Message
Detail |
It sorta seems like you both need to lighten up
a lot. You guys are way too up tight. Ones thinking suicide and the
other is worrying about a girl that doesn't deserve the time of day.
That's good that your getting over her she's really not that great
from what it sounds like. And also don't worry about girls, either
of you guys, it'll work out just fine. You just gotta learn to take
chances.
---
WHY DOESN'T ANYONE KNOW WHAT MY NAME MEANS!!!!IF
ANYONE KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS PUT SO IN YOUR POST WHEN YOU SEE
THIS!!!(16 PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN IT RIGHT)
|
| From: snowblind
| Posted: 7/8/2002 12:30:47 PM | Message
Detail |
heh, believe us..a lot of what we said early on
in this topic no longer applies.
Goshawk, tell him about
Kasey.
as for me, yeah I know I'm uptight, have been since
around November and that's one thing I'm trying to work on. About
taking chances - I might, there's a girl in the same building I work
at who I like, the few times I've managed to talk to her I've
enjoyed her company a lot. However I'm now cautious about anything
where my feelings are concerned and it may be some time before I
know what she thinks of me. If only the chances to talk to her were
more.
Damn UT game got cut short cause the friend had to run
to class. I got slaughtered.
---
Yeah, he's a freaking idiot.
I don't know how I put up with him. |
| From: little
beelzebub | Posted: 7/8/2002 3:20:37 PM | Message
Detail |
I'm a little uptight too, feels like I'm always
walkin on eggshells. Now that it's summer I've loosened up quite a
bit. Sometimes you just have to let the wind carry you
along.
---
WHY DOESN'T ANYONE KNOW WHAT MY NAME MEANS!!!!IF
ANYONE KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS PUT SO IN YOUR POST WHEN YOU SEE
THIS!!!(16 PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN IT RIGHT)
|
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 7/14/2002 9:08:21 AM | Message
Detail |
Getting back to that point about confidence -
I'm very aware of that, the obstacle is that what's happened in the
past affects how I view my future and that's what I have to get over
to find confidence. I need to put behind me all the crap I've
suffered through, however while I'm not exactly looking at life
pessimistically I do notice how the longer it goes on the more I
lose and the things I have usually end up transferring to less
deserving things (okay that's a bit cryptic but to talk about it I'd
have to be comfortable with how fate keeps crossing the paths of
things I have with the paths of things that aren't deserving). Erm,
I'll stop here for fear of frying your brains.
Confidence,
yes...I have it at times, then something always comes along to
destroy it. Time and time again. Hell even something along that
lines has taken effect today.
---
Oh yes, what is the ZSB?
The ZSB is a perverted version of hell, basically. One moment while
I chew my weenie... ~ l5Spiders |
| From: little
beelzebub | Posted: 7/14/2002 11:13:06 AM | Message
Detail |
But if you actually had confidence you'd realize
it doesn't just go away. Many huge things have to happen to break
down my confidence. If you see what you want GO AFTER IT!! That my
friend will give you confidence.
---
Lay out long string to
catch the big fish.
|
| From: Midnight
sun | Posted: 7/14/2002 11:54:53 AM | Message
Detail |
If you have something to go after then cool, I
have gone after things with confidence in the recent and far past
which have always ended up falling through and leaving me with
disappointment. Now it looks like there's nothing to fight for
anymore, nothing with meaning that isn't shallow at least. Pretty
much the only thing that helps is being a little insane at
times.
Now...who are you?
---
Oh yes, what is the
ZSB? The ZSB is a perverted version of hell, basically. One moment
while I chew my weenie... ~ l5Spiders |
| From: little
beelzebub | Posted: 7/14/2002 3:04:23 PM | Message
Detail |
what do you mean by that? The who are you
question I mean.
---
Lay out long string to catch the big
fish.
|
| From: snowblind
| Posted: 7/14/2002 3:11:14 PM | Message
Detail |
Just curious. I don't know, could be that your
giving out this advice yet I know nothing about you to take any
credence from.
---
Yeah, he's a freaking idiot. I don't know
how I put up with him. |
| From: little
beelzebub | Posted: 7/14/2002 3:39:25 PM | Message
Detail |
Oh, well my name's Alex, I'm a dude(if you
didn't already catch that). I'm 13 and I live in Missouri. Most
people think I'm funny(although not in the mood right now), I'm not
dating a chick at the moment although I have thought about asking
this one girl out(just never got around to it since I skipped the
last day of school). Can't think of anything else.
---
Lay out
long string to catch the big fish.
|
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