*A ficlet requested by Mami.*
He woke up when he rolled over, reaching out blindly in search of body warmth, and got a painful nick in the ribs for his trouble.
"Christ," he yelped, flopping onto his back once more. He rummaged underneath the covers with one hand, the other checking the hurt spot to see if there was blood. He stubbornly kept his eyes closed. "Farf," he mumbled, voice grumpy and hoarse, "what the fuck did I tell you about keeping your knives out of bed?"
Something shifted by his feet-- there he was, the little bugger --and a strong hand wrapped around his ankle possessively. Other than that, there was no response. Farfarello slept on, curled at the foot of the bed like a cat. No good for body warmth, then.
Schuldich muttered under his breath and tossed the knife off the bed. It hit the floor with a clatter that startled his other bedmate enough to cause him to jerk a little in his sleep and give away his position on Schuldich's left. He smirked in triumph and rolled onto his side, reaching out with a lanky arm until he found the slender body stretched out on the very edge of the bed.
He wrapped his arm around the other man's waist and dragged him across the bed until his back was pressed up against Schuldich's side. Ahhhh warmth... He buried his cold nose in an inviting neck and wriggled ice-cold feet under the body at the end of the bed, intent on getting back to sleep.
The reaction to this, however, was immediate and displeased. The redhead tucked against his body yelped at the cold touch on his neck and jolted hard. Schuldich's nose made abrupt, painful contact with his lover's twitching shoulder. At the end of the bed, Farfarello snarled an unitelligable curse and sank his teeth irritably into the cold foot that had so rudely interrupted his rest.
Schuldich howled like a wounded wolf and retaliated instantly. He kicked fiercely, trying to catch the scarred Irishman a blow to the face, and pushed his other partner roughly. Ran rolled off the bed and landed hard on the floor with a squawk. Chaos ensued.
They wandered into breakfast a few minutes later, scowling at each other. At the table, Crawford lowered his paper and arched his brows at them, amusement carefully concealed behind a mask of stern disapproval. He looked pointedly at the bitemarks Schuldich was rubbing at, evident on calves and hands, then blinked slowly as he observed the bruise on the Berserker's face and the scrape on Ran's elbow that he was nursing sullenly.
"...I don't want to know," Crawford deadpanned, lifting the paper again to block them from view.
"Keep your cold feet to yourself in the morning," Farfarello warned his tall lover with a dangerous look as he padded towards the fridge to find something to gnaw on.
Schuldich made a face at the bare back. "Well maybe if somebody," he jerked his head towards Ran, who only glared and made a beeline for the coffee pot, "wouldn't hog the covers, I wouldn't have cold feet in the first place. Anyway, it's your fault for sleeping at the foot of the bed like a dog or something. Isn't that the whole point of having someone in bed with you? To keep you from freezing your ass off in winter?"
Farfarello glanced over his shoulder calmly. "I thought you wanted us in your bed so we could--"
"That's enough, Farfarello." Nagi walked into the kitchen, dressed for school and brushing dark hair back from his eyes. "It's bad enough I have to hear all the noise through the walls that you three make at night. I don't need a detailed description, thank you very much."
Schuldich leered at him and dumped himself unceremoniously into a chair at the table. He didn't do breakfast. "Whatever, runt. You're just jealous."
Nagi gave him a level look and headed over to the fridge to retrieve the frozen ham Farfarello was inspecting thoughtfully. "I need a ride to school. I have to get there early to meet with the teacher about a project." He stuffed the ham in the fridge and nabbed a donut from the box on the counter.
"Have Absynnian take you," Crawford said, reaching for his coffee, eyes still scanning the paper. "He has to be at his flower shop in half an hour."
"Oi." Schuldich prodded the paper with a fork. "Geekazoid. Knock it off with the 'Abs' shit." He flashed his violet-eyed lover a feral grin. "At least until the next time we try to kill each other on a mission, anyway."
Ran ignored him, rummaging in the cabinets for the sugar. Farfarello wandered over to 'help'. He ended up digging through the silverware drawer, searching for the steak knives. Ran shut the drawer; Farfarello drew his fingers out of the way just in time, and glared up at him.
"They're not in there," Ran reminded him with a tolerant look. "Nagi put them away. Out of reach."
"Speaking of pointy objects.." Schuldich frowned, checking the scratch on his ribs, "what the fuck was a knife doing in the bed, you retard? I already told you I'm not doing any of that freaky shit. If I wanted pain when I have sex, I'd stick my dick in a blender, all right?"
Farfarello arched a brow at him. Nagi choked on his donut, his face screwed up in disgust.
"Don't even think about it," Ran warned, pulling the wrist in his grasp to place Farfarello's hand somewhere more safe. He set the unresisting hand on the edge of the sink. "Wash your hands."
As soon as he was released, Farfarello pulled his hand away from the sink and transferred it to the back of Ran's sleeping pants, sliding his fingers inside and leaning over to murmur something in the redhead's ear. Ran snorted, but didn't respond. At the table, Schuldich's grin widened at whatever he'd heard in their heads.
Nagi turned an indignant look on Crawford. "How do you expect me to eat when they're doing stuff like this?" he demanded. "Tell them to stop it, or I'll have them all pinned against the wall while I finish breakfast. At least then we'll have some peace and quiet."
Schuldich snickered, lifting his leg to prod the other boy in the knee. Nagi sent him a dark look. "Ever heard the phrase 'Children should be seen and not heard'? Shut up and cram your face already. It's not like they're gonna do it on the counter or anything." His grin turned Grinch-like. "They prefer the table, anyway. Like last week, when Farf found the steak sauce and--"
Nagi dropped his donut onto his plate and stood up abruptly. "I just lost my appetite." He stalked off to the bathroom to brush his teeth.
Ran came to the table with his coffee, with Farfarello trailing after him, still latched onto the back of his pants. Schuldich snagged the Irishman as he passed, pulling him onto his lap. Farfarello released Ran in exchange for a fistful of firy hair. Schuldich winced, tilting his head slightly to relieve the sting and digging strong fingers warningly into the other man's hips. "Ouch, dammit. I told you to quit with the hair-pulling."
Farfarello ignored him, studying the hair in his fist strand by strand. Schuldich turned his eyes towards his other lover, unwilling to move his head and risk another jerk of his mane. "Dammit. Pass me a donut. One with those little things all over it."
"You don't eat breakfast," Ran pointed out.
"I'm not gonna eat it."
"Farfarello doesn't like sweet food," Ran reminded him, sipping his coffee and looking at him a little curiously.
"Just gimmie the fucking donut."
More out of curiosity than any semblence of obedience, Ran retrieved a sprinkled donut from the box and handed it over. Schuldich handed the pastrie to the man seated in between his legs. Farfarello glared at the food for a moment before noticing the many dots of color all over it. He released his lover's hair in favor of the donut.
When Nagi returned a minute later, Schuldich had his hair pulled up and out of harm's way and was communicating silently with his redheaded lover while Farfarello picked off each tiny red sprinkle from the donut and dropped it onto the floor where the telepath absently squished them under his house shoe. Nagi watched the three of them for a moment, blank-faced. Ran was scowling slightly, eyes focused on his coffee, though the slight blush in his cheeks-- as well as the smirk on Schuldich's face --was evidence enough of what the two of them were 'talking' about. Farfarello, seated comfortably in Schuldich's lap, looked calmer, and by the way his teeth flashed every now and then in a demonic grin, it was obvious that Schuldich was allowing him in on the conversation as well.
Nagi looked at them-- the madman, the telepath, and the swordsman --and wondered what god had such a fucked up sense of humor that he had brought the three of them together into the corrupt "relationship" they had been carrying on for the past three months. Enemies and lunatics, all three of them. It was the very definition of Wrong.
Ran spotted him hovering in the doorway and set aside his mug. "Well?"
"I'm ready." Nagi hiked his backpack up on his shoulder and headed for the door. He didn't want to be there for the "goodbye kiss". It tended to get a little out of hand. And after Schuldich's reference to a previous tabletop encounter, he didn't want to stick around and bear witness.
He reached the door and tugged on his shoes, reaching for his coat. From the kitchen, the silence shattered as Schuldich let loose a yell of rage and pain.
"God fucking damn it, Farf!! Let go of the damned hair before I stuff your ragged ass in the oven and serve you to our clients for dinner! OUCH! Fuck, that does it--"
Nagi closed his eyes wearily as the sounds of a fight broke out: dishes crashing, snarling voices, thumps of bodies hitting the floor and walls, and Ran shouting at both of them to knock it off-- then his own barks of anger as he was dragged into it.
Crawford emerged from the kitchen at a hasty speed, coffee safely in one hand, paper in the other. Nagi looked at him accusingly. "You should have seen that coming."
"I did." Crawford set his mug and paper on the small table by the sofa. "Get a bucket of cold water."
"Why didn't you stop them?" Nagi demanded, irritated. "I have to get to school.."
"Get the bucket, or you and Absynnian will both be late."
Nagi frowned, but directed his attention towards the bathroom. From the kitchen, the sounds of the fight went on. "Why? What do you need it for?"
"Because I saw what this is leading to, and I don't have time for this first thing in the morning."
"What? What's going to happen?"
Crawford held out a hand impatiently, and Nagi made a face, floating the full pail of water to the older man.
From the kitchen, there was another thump, followed by a startled groan. The scuffling became less frantic, the table scraped against the floor... Nagi's eyes widened when another moan trickled from the kitchen. He covered his face in exasperation and embarrassment as Crawford plucked the bucket from mid-air and headed grimly for the kitchen.
Nagi snatched his books from the floor, shouldered his back pack once more, and hurried from the apartment. He wasn't going to be around when the shit hit the fan.
He shut the door behind him quickly, but the splash and the resulting shrieks of shock and rage pierced through the wood.
Maybe he should just walk to school.
He set off for the elevator quickly, before a livid Ran could catch up with him.