Part Two: Jailbait

    "Where are they?" Yohji asked, looking up from his spot at the table. They'd ended up dragging a second table in from the storage room so all eight men could sit and eat at once. Aya had left his seat to stir a bit at the dinner still cooking on the stove, and Ken was glancing over his shoulder to peek into the shop. Omi and Nagi hadn't come down yet, and they were all hungry. What was on Yohji's mind right now, however, was that the quicker dinner was served, the quicker it'd be over. As luck would have it, he was stuck sitting in between Aya and Schuldig. He sighed mentally and propped his elbow on the table.

    Schuldig glanced his way, smirking. /You don't like sitting next to me?/

    ~Not at all,~ Yohji replied, refusing to look at him. Schuldig laughed and Yohji grit his teeth. "Ken, go get them," he managed to get out.

    Ken muttered something about being an errand boy and left the table. There was a slight creak and Yohji glanced to his left to see Schuldig scooting his chair a bit closer. Yohji frowned and scooted to the right. Schuldig followed. Crawford glanced up from his place on the other side of Aya's, expression unreadable, as they continued to travel several inches along the table.

    A pale hand went in between them as Aya set a pitcher on the table heavily. He gave them both a dark look. "Stop making that infernal noise," he snapped, then pinned Yohji under his gaze. "Fix your chair." When Yohji hesitated, Aya's eyes went back to Schuldich. "Both of you, move them back or you won't be eating anything tonight."

    /He's not a very happy person, is he?/ Schuldig murmured, sounding amused. He pushed his chair back into its spot. Before Yohji could move his own back over, Schuldig reached out and jerked it. Yohji clutched at the table for balance at the sudden movement, and Schuldig grinned. /What's-/ He stopped mid-sentence, eyes flickering, then glanced to the spot on his left. Yohji looked that direction and found himself returning Farfarello's gaze. The Irishman's expression was decidedly not a happy one.

    Well, Farfarello could keep Schuldig occupied. Yohji looked away again and poured his tea. Footsteps sounded on the stairs. Yohji tilted his chair backwards, pressing his shins to the underside of the table in order to keep his balance. "What took you so long?" he asked as Ken led the two missing boys in. "I'm hungry."

    "We were in the middle of something," Nagi answered calmly, meeting his eyes. Yohji gave a slight shrug and tipped his cup back. The tea was nice and cold.

    "Doing what, I wonder," Schuldig drawled lazily, simultaneously sending Yohji a mental image of the two boys engaged in some...rather exerting phsyical activities. Yohji choked on his drink and ended up coughing harshly to try and clear it from his lungs. His sudden jerk caused him to lose his balance and he ended up toppling backwards to the floor. He sat where he was for several moments, coughing and wheezing. Aya dropped a kitchen towel down beside him to clean up the tea that had spilt and sent Schuldig a cold look. Ken was laughing.

    "And you say _I'm_ clumsy!"

    /He's so blessfully naive, isn't he?/ Schuldig mused. Yohji ignored him, dabbing up his drink with one hand and hitting his chest once with the other one to clear it of fluid. Damn...Now his chest hurt.

    "We were _talking_," Nagi said dryly.

    "Mind your table manners, Schuldig." That was from Crawford.

    "I'm not touching anybody, am I?" Schuldig asked.

    /Not yet, anyway./

    ~Go bite yourself,~ Yohji returned acidly, getting back to his feet and bringing his chair with him. He coughed again as he sat. He'd lost his appetite...He didn't need to see pictures of his teammate having sex with the Schwarz kid. He didn't even want to _think_ about it. He winced. Schuldig snickered. ~You probably get off on stuff like that,~ he sent at the other man.

    Schuldig smirked and served his meal. /What's the matter, Yohji? What bothered you about that? The fact that it was your oh-so-innocent Omi friend or the fact that it was with another guy?/ He leaned over to serve Farfarello's portion. The Irishman watched him carefully as he did so. /Inside you've answered that it was Omi, which means that gay sex doesn't bother you. So why do you try to push me away?/

    ~_I'm_ not gay, and I would never want to have sex with _you_.~

    /Why is that?/ Schuldig passed the serving bowl to Nagi, who served his own and then Omi's. Schuldig watched them absently.


    /Because...?/ Schuldig pressed, smirking. /Because I'm a slut? So are you./ He paused, tilting his head to one side. /All right. So let's say you'd never sleep with me. What about Farfarello?/

    Yohji almost choked on his yakisoba, and hurriedly shovelled it back out of his mouth onto his plate. Ken made a sound of disgust while Omi buried his face in his hand, looking embarrassed. Aya steadfastly ignored him, lost in his own dark thoughts. Yohji pressed the back of his hand to his mouth. ~Don't be ridiculous!~

    /Why not?/ He could hear Schuldig laughing at him. The German tilted back in his chair so that Yohji and Farfarello could look at each other. Farfarello slowly turned his head, his single eye boring into Yohji's with a fierce intensity. /Don't you think the scars make him look exotic? He looks untouchable, doesn't he?/ Schuldig reached up to touch Farfarello's cheek, but his eyes were on Yohji. Farfarello looked from Yohji, to Schuldig, and back to Yohji again. He came to the obvious conclusion that he was being talked about, and his eye narrowed. Schuldig drew his hand back and put his chair back on the ground.

    /He's younger than you, but older than jailbait over there./ There was a brief flicker of Omi's face in Yohji's mind, sent to him by Schuldig. /He's nineteen./

    Farfarello was Ken's age? Yohji paused, digesting that surprising information.

    /Back to Ken again, hm? I suppose he makes for interesting subject matter./ Schuldig turned an assessing look on Ken. /He's not pretty,/ the German told him. /Not kid-cutesy like Omi, nor coldly beautiful like Aya. He's just handsome./ Yohji did not like the way this conversation was going. The thought of Schuldig, telepath and fiend, assessing Ken like he would a bed partner was disturbing and unwanted. Schuldig smirked into his tea. /You can't deny it, whether you claim you're straight, gay, bi, or just plain backwards. There's a lot you can teach someone like Ken./ Jade eyes slid to his.

    Yohji did not hide the warning in his eyes or thoughts as he returned Schuldig's gaze. If Schuldig touched Ken, Yohji would kill him. Ken did not deserve to have Schuldig unleashed on him. No one did, actually. No one in their right mind would be able to tolerate or put up with the loud mouthed foreigner.

    /You hold such a low opinion of me./

    ~You created this reputation,~ Yohji snapped back. ~Live with it.~

    /Oh, I do. I do./ Schuldig snickered.

    Yohji's attention was yanked away when Aya stood up abruptly and shoved his chair under the table. The redhead snatched up his dishes with violent movements and carted them over to the trash can, where he dumped his dinner into the bag. He set his things on the counter and left, ignoring the seven people that watched him go.

    ~What's eating _him_?~ Yohji wondered absently.

    /Crawford asked him for the soy sauce. Speaking of eating.../ Schuldig speared an odd shaped vegetable on the end of a chopstick and leaned towards Yohji, his wrist brushing Yohji's shoulder as he held the food close. /Do you know what this looks like?/

    Yohji's eyes lingered on the captured vegetable for several long moments before his gaze trailed to Schuldig's face. A wide smirk slowly spread on the German's face. "Tasty," the man murmured, and popped it in his mouth.

    Enough was enough. Heaving an irritated sigh, Yohji stood and dumped his food in the trash, then set his plate by Aya's. Aya was correct in wanting Schwarz out of the house. Now if only he could survive the three days until Crawford found the assassins a job!


    Yohji wiped his forehead with his hand. The shop was closed today, but that didn't mean they weren't working. All of the plants on the left half of the shop had to be repotted, and so did some of those up front. Even with Nagi's offered help it was slow work. Aya was still in a fiercely grumpy mood, so they'd split themselves into two pairs and Aya and taken the work in shifts. Yohji had opted for the second shift so he'd be able to sleep in, and Ken had not argued.

    He heard Ken's curse before he heard the thud. He shook his head in tolerant amusement and looked over towards his friend. Ken's arms were full of bags of potting soil. He was trying to carry too many, and had dropped two bags. Now he was trying desperately not to drop the rest. Yohji laughed quietly and went to help him, reaching out and steadying the bags with his hands. He grinned, taking in Ken's disheveled appearance. Small leaves, dead and alive, were strewn about his apron and his hair- how did they get _there_?- and dirt was smudged on his clothes and face.

    Ken smiled back at him, relieved. "Arigato, Yohji."

    "You're an absolute mess," Yohji chided him teasingly, ruffling a hand through Ken's hair. Dirt and leaves scattered everywhere. Ken blinked in surprise, watching them float everywhere. "Looks like you get to sweep when this is all done."

    Ken made a face. "You're the one wiping it everywhere."

    Yohji laughed. "Would you rather stay a mess?"

    "Well, no..."

    /Aren't you going to get the dirt off his cheeks?/

    Yohji's laughter died and he frowned. ~What do you want, Schuldig?~ he asked warily.

    /Don't you want to see if he has soft skin?/

    ~What kind of question is _that_?~ Yohji demanded.

    "Yohji?" Ken asked, searching Yohji's face. He sounded a little worried. "What's wrong?" His eyes caught on something and he turned his head. "...Oh." Yohji looked that way also. Schuldig was in the doorway of the kitchen, leaning lazily against the frame. He was dressed in more of Yohji's clothes- tight jeans and a white poet's shirt. "What are you saying to him?" Ken asked.

    "I was just commenting on what a klutz you are," Schuldig answered breezily.


    Yohji broke in before Ken could say anything else. "We're busy here, Schuldig. Entertain yourself elsewhere."

    "You say that as if there's something to do around here." Schuldig sounded amused. "Well, I'll take your word on that. Tell you what...Your shift ends in a few minutes. You can show me around town and show me what you like to do in your free time." There was a smirk on his face that told Yohji exactly what free time he was talking about. "That'll get us both out of the house."

    "I've got better things to do."

    "Na...Bugnuks." Schuldig turned his attention on Ken. "Don't you think Kudou's been moping around the house too much?"

    Ken thought about it for a moment before nodding. "Aa. Yohji, you need to get out of the house more. Besides, you know how to have fun. You can keep Schuldig occupied." He smiled.

    "Thanks," Yohji muttered under his breath, green eyes sliding warily to the triumphant smirk playing on Schuldig's lips. "Thanks a lot."

    "Don't mention it," Ken answered brightly.


    "Hey, Farf..." Schuldig carried the plate into the back room. His Irish teammate didn't look up. "It's my turn to feed you." He paused to stand in front of the younger man, who was kneeling on the ground and holding a blender possessively to his chest. Schuldig lifted a foot and nudged him. "Oi. Are you listening to me?" Farfarello didn't respond. Schuldig huffed in irritation and knelt, yanking the blender away roughly.

    Farfarello's eye snapped up and met Schuldig's gaze balefully. "What do you want?"

    "I brought your lunch." Schuldig set the plate on the ground in front of him. "Entertain yourself for a while. I'm hitting the town with Yohji." He grinned.

    And promptly got Farfarello's lunch thrown in his face.

    Schuldig jerked backwards, sputtering, and ended up on his rear. His hands flew to his face and he peeled sticky noodles and vegetables off of it. "What the _hell_?!" he snapped, yanking bits from his hair. "What was that for?" he demanded. Farfarello didn't respond. Schuldig's eyes narrowed and he struck out, hitting his teammate hard enough to make his hand hurt. The other man didn't even flinch. "Damn it, Farfarello..." Schuldig stood in a quick, angry movement. He'd made that lunch himself- the first time he'd actually made Farfarello's meal- and now that work had just been tossed aside carelessly. "We should have just left you locked up in that institution where we found you."

    Farfarello was still silent. Schuldig kicked him and stormed out, slamming the door forcefully behind him. Anger burned in his chest at his ungrateful partner's actions. Now he had to wash his hair and his face, or risk going out smelling like a fast food place. Some anger was carried over from Farfarello's mind. One thing was clear from the resentment that twisted through his thoughts from the mentally unbalanced one- Farfarello knew what Schuldig was after with Yohji and did not approve of it one bit. This was the first lover Schuldig would be seeking that Farfarello was against.

    Too bad for Farfarello.

Part 3