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Julia Chronicle
Part 1
I'm sure I shouldn't be writing this down. The fact that you are reading
this confirms
that I am not only a stupid woman, but a dead one. What does it matter, it's
over now.
God, what am I saying? It's far from over.
Vicious
There wasn't a day that Vicious didn't tell me that he felt smothered by
the syndicate.
He hated the way the elders worked, and he especially hated that he was bound
to their
system. To him, the system was just a set of outdated traditions that over
time turned
into rules; rules that held him back. He felt that there was nothing he could
do.
There were only a few moments when he would openly admit to me that he was
helpless when
it came to the syndicate. Vicious was never one to let on to a weakness. But
he would tell
me sometimes while I lay next to him. At times like that, I was as vulnerable
to him as he
was to me, and so he felt he could trust me. Often he would fall asleep as
the words still
fumbled past his lips, and when we awoke in the morning, it was as though
nothing was said.
Oh, he was cold, no doubt about that. His eyes were piercing and icy. The
first time I
met him, I was almost afraid of him. But it took a lot to frighten me, and
soon I was used
to the sound of his voice. I always wondered why Vicious bothered to acknowledge
me.
He had no need for a woman, and he had no interest in beauty. He was only
attracted to power, and I had none. I never asked him why, but I have my theories.
Every other man and boy in the syndicate had enjoyed my company, and had the
utmost
respect for me. Each of them knew me by name, and each one came to me for
a gentle word.
To the youngers, I was a mother, and a sister to the others. It was an odd
experience for
me. I never saw myself as a mother figure. I suppose among cold blooded men,
I was the only
one who could offer compassion. Perhaps that was the power I held over them,
I had their
trust, and even some of their secrets. Yet, Vicious never asked me to betray
them, or to
reveal a secret, so even if that was what attracted him to me, he didn't take
advantage.
I'm glad of it. At the time I could never see myself betraying any one.
Instead, I would like to believe that Vicious intended to become one of my
boys, but
of course, he didn't like to share. And since he wouldn't share me as a mother,
with his
brothers, he would keep my to himself, as a lover.
They called him Vicious for a reason. There was nothing gentle about him.
His eyes,
his voice, his words, even his touch was harsh. Perhaps that was why I let
him take me, I
felt the need to bee seen as something other than a mother to be treated like
glass. I just
wasn't used to it.
He never said it out loud. But my skin was much warmer than his, and deep
down he didn't
mind not being frozen for a while. I know this because the first time we made
love, he
opened his eyes, and they were warm. He must not have minded, afterwards he
only came to
see me all the more.
Soon, the word was out. I was Vicious' girl. After that, it was easy to see
who had
more of an interest in my than a mother or sister, because suddenly they steered
clear of
me. I remember when it was simple. Vicious would go out on a job, and when
he got back,
he would be bloodied, cut up, and on many occasions, shot pretty badly. I
would dress his
wounds, and take care of him until he was ready for what ever other job the
syndicate had
for him. We made quite the pair. But soon Vicious found another person he
could trust. And
our duo became a trio...or better yet, a triangle
Spike
At first, Spike was the guy that hung at all the same places as the Syndicate
boys. When
he looked at me, it was always with cow eyes: huge and admiring. I passed
him off as
another guy with a school boy crush on the mysterious babe at the billiard
hall. He made
pals with the Syndicate boys and after out writing them at poker, beating
them at pool, and
breaking up a few drunken brawls, they invited him to become a member of the
syndicate.
I had a bad feeling about him, especially after I was going to have to see
him on a
regular basis. For a long time we hadn't crossed paths, and then then the
elders promoted
him to work under Vicious. They like him, he was clever when it came to the
rules, and he
knew just what to do to make a friend, or an enemy. So Vicious gave him a
try. To my
dismay, Vicious like him too. Before too long, everything Vicious did, Spike
was backing
up. They had become friends.
There it was. Julia was Vicious' girl, and Spike was Vicious' #1 man. Further
impressed
with Spike, the elders decided to appoint him as one of the leaders of the
youngers. The
same honor that Vicious was awarded. Yet, somehow, instead of competing with
each other
they kept teaming up.
I couldn't really stand Spike. He was rude, and sarcastic. He made snide comments
that
I didn't find amusing. But I never let on that he ruffled my feathers. He
just seemed like
an immature little boy that had grown up into an older version of the same
boy.
Unfortunately though, my impression of Spike was about to change.
One night, I was on my way out the door of my apartment, when I spotted a
figure hobbling
towards me. After stepping into the lamp light, I saw it was Spike, and then
he collapsed.
I ran to his side. I was surprised I could make out his face, he was covered
in blood,
bullets had streaked his face, and punctured his sides, and limbs. It was
bad, but not much
worse than I had treated Vicious with. It wasn't my job, but there was no
time to get an
ambulance, he need help, immediately, so I managed to bring him into my apartment.
I went
straight to work on him.
It took about two or three days, but he was gaining his strength back. I would
sit in my
chair and read, and occasionally look up from my book to watch his chest heave
as he slept
in my bed. His legs were rather long, and though gangly, they were muscular.
Much like the
rest of his body. His nose was the apitomy of comic reliefe...it had a single
mini bandaid
on it, where as the rest of his body was covered in gauze and bandages, still
sopping with
blood. His face is very masculine, with distinguished features. Not nearly
so much as
Vicious', but then again, Vicious' face was strange. Spike's was much more
relaxed. His
hair was an interesting shade of dark olive green. I had to take that chance
to figure it
out; I had to feel his hair, just to see what the texture was like...it seemed
to defy
gravity...I mean...it's just so fluffy, I had to do it. I remember how much
that situation
had amused me. He was handsome, I noticed. Even when he was covered in bandages.
Perhaps
especially when he was covered in bandages. Then one night, as I was reading
as usually, I
was simply singing or humming to myself. I noticed a flicker come from my
bed, his eyes
open, and they were looking at me, inquisitively. Obviously he had just figured
out were
he was. I walked over to him, curious to see if he could speak. As I approached
the bed
he looked at me, and his glare loosened to a kind gaze, and he was suddenly
serious. He
spoke, "Just like that, sing for me."
I did something at that moment, that I hadn't done in a long time. I smiled.
It wasn't
the painted smile that I was used to wearing when I would be among others,
it was a true
smile, something about Spike had made me happy. It was, that he was different.
He was no
longer rude or sarcastic, he was honest. He wanted me to sing...I don't know
why, but I
wanted to sing then, as odd as that is. How could a stupid boy like him possibly
make me
happy? There was nothing I wanted from him. Yet...seeing him grow that way
was so
rewarding.
But what more reward did I need? I had Vicious, I was the only woman of all
the women in
the universe that could get within an inch of Vicious, and he told me his
thoughts, his
feelings, and he trusted me. It was ridiculous for me to consider Spike...
I went about treating him until he recovered, and I tried my best to stay
objective with
him...but he was smooth. He new what to say to me to get me to respond. Eventually
I gave
in and started to speak to him like a person again. It bothered me. He kept
making me
smile, and I kept making him look at me with those sullen, and meaningful
eyes. Eyes with
such a gravity and purpose. I had never seen them that way before. That's
when I noticed
it. His eyes were different. One was slightly lighter in color. I asked him
about it, and
he beckoned me to come to the bedside, and he would show me. I obliged. I
set there, a
breath away from him, staring at his eyes as he spoke to me and told me the
story of how he
lost one of his eyes, and that the one was a fake. He told me that one saw
the past, when I
asked what the other saw, we suddenly got to close, and that was the beginning.
He kissed
me, and I kissed him back.
Afterwards I demanded that he stay until he was fully able to function, and
he easily
agreed with me. We spent days cooped up in there, together, simply discussing
everything
we knew, and eventually making love as well. After it happened, I felt a great
guilt come
over me. I had betrayed Vicious. I was the only woman in the world that he
trusted, and I
had betrayed him. Then I realized who Spike was. Spike was the only man that
Vicious
trusted, and he had just betrayed him as well.
I told Spike not to listen to a word I ever said. I was a hypocrite. I told
him 'All
women are liars' I felt like I deserved no trust in the world. But he held
me, and looked
at me with the same sullen eyes that I started to fall in love with, and told
me that I made
him feel alive. That was all I needed. I was his. It was over right then and
there.
It may have been true, that when I was with Vicious I turned ice into water,
but when I
touched Spike, I turned water into wine. We decided to keep it a secret, we
would not let
on. No one had to know, especially Vicious. He had no reason to suspect Spike
and I. He
believed that I disliked Spike, as I had only days ago.
Of course, it wasn't as easy as it seemed. Vicious, Spike, and I would go
every where
together, and eventually, Spike and I appeared to get along. I could only
imagine the
thoughts going through Vicious' head, watching his girl and his best friend,
skipping, and
running like children along sidewalks, chasing each other, and playing little
games. God,
he made me young. Even as a child, I was not young. I grew up so fast...
Vicious didn't like it. The closer Spike and I grew, the further Vicious and
I
became. He became colder once again, and soon, Spike and Vicious didn't work
together, they
competed with each other. Then it all started to fall apart.
The elders complained of Spike and Vicious' foolishness after messing up a
job
trying to beat each other out instead of working together. Spike accepted
the elders'
reprimanding, but for Vicious, it was the end of the rope. He grew desperately
frozen, and
I could no longer thaw him, because he knew exactly what went on between Spike
and I. He
only had to look at us to know we were in love. Suddenly, word spread among
the youngers,
and some of Vicious' comrades that he would defy the elders anyway he could.
The impossible
was happening. I knew exactly what Vicious intended. He was going to gather
power, and try
to over throw the elders. He had gone mad. I became afraid for my life.
Spike saw it happening, and he would not stand for it. He came to me one
day, and asked me
to leave with him. We would flee Mars, and flee the syndicate. It would not
be easy. By
now, Vicious has people watching us, and any one of my boys could have betrayed
me, for now,
even I had become a traitor, and no one could be trusted any longer. The only
thing I had
was Spike.
We were to meet at the cemetery. It was raining. I sat at my window, and
watched the
water come down. It was then that I felt the gun at the back of my head. It
was Vicious.
He anticipated all of it. Some how I was not afraid. I expected it from him
now. He asked
me if I was going to betray him, and told me that there was no escape. I only
became afraid
when I realized that Vicious had the power to kill Spike. I asked him what
he intended to
do. And he told me that it was my job to kill Spike. If I killed Spike, I
would be free,
I could go and never come back, and no one would chase me.
Of course...my blood wasn't frozen enough in my body to kill the one man
who had ever
loved me. I intended to go the cemetery, warn Spike, and perhaps the two of
us could make
it away. Even if we were chased around the universe for the rest of our lives,
at least
we would be together.
I made my way from my apartment in the rain. I looked over my shoulder every
chance I
got. At first, I saw no one. There was no one following, or watching. It was
too easy.
Only after I made it to the street the cemetery was on did I see them, they
were ready. If
I didn't kill Spike then and there, they would kill us both. I had to make
a choice.
I turned and shot at them. I ran. I ran away from the cemetery, away from
Spike.
I was lucky. They forgot about Spike, and followed me. I knew how to take
care of myself,
fortunately. I was able to get away. But there was no way to get to Spike.
They would
find us again. I only had one thing left to do, and that was to flee, alone.
So I did.
Now I am far away from Mars. I don't know where Spike is. I may never see
him
again. But we're alive. I may never smile, and truly mean it, ever again.
All I have now
is a this small Calisto bar, a bar tender that makes good cowboys, and a the
tune that the
saxophone player plays just for me.
Come to think of it, Gren hasn't played it in a while
tonight...
The End
For now