eureka.
eureka.
somethingrofl.com
Wednesday, September 25, 2002
hello world.
I WANT U TO FEEL THE FAT BASS!
Saturday, September 21, 2002
go here for a new hobby
Thursday, September 19, 2002
so my gramz (an awkward 60 y/o midget about 5'3") attacked Bonnie (my unbloodrelated aunt who is very overweight yet has scrawny legs ---think Humpty Dumpty) today, knocking her on her bum and slapping her repeatedly. it musta been funny to see. she came home sobbing and acting schizo "THEY HURT ME!" oookie dokie. none of this effects me outwardly. i just shrug it off. i think its funny that i'm so desensitized to these crazy people. it's comedy if anything. i went next door and my mom told me the story and told me that if she had gotten hurt, its prolly coz she tried to knock the solid oak garage door down. ha. funny bunny.
Tuesday, September 17, 2002
hahah oh my goodness grayshus. this is ingenious.
would you like some more?
ultralaz0r: TO BE AMERICAN MEANS TO BE DEATH COZ I WILL KILL J00! *REDFLAG*
ultralaz0r: next you'll see "j00" is a middle eastern terrorist code.
ultralaz0r: " jay zero zero " = the terrorists' code for "western culture and christianity"
DandyBuddhaToast: in order to succeed as an american you are required to have at least 15 american flag stickers displayed for the entire world to see
ultralaz0r: and then all the haxx0rz will be like
ultralaz0r: "HAW HAW HAW N00BZ"
DandyBuddhaToast: we should just drop boxes of american flag stickers on iraq.......they won't know what to do!!
DandyBuddhaToast: anyways.....i'm joinin' the military so i can go kill me some towelheads
ultralaz0r: HAHAHA
DandyBuddhaToast: what? i'm not joking
ultralaz0r: yer so patriotic. it really turns me red...white and blue
DandyBuddhaToast: lol. yeah, i need to quit smoking too. I've done it twice........ or took a 2 month break but...... deamit...... it's the damn towelheads that make me keep smoking
DandyBuddhaToast: made me drop outta school too
DandyBuddhaToast: put me in debt
ultralaz0r: hahah
ultralaz0r: geez
DandyBuddhaToast: yeah, once we take them out life will be wonderful and perfect. Earth will just be a giant fucking utopia
DandyBuddhaToast: they're polluting the air too
ultralaz0r: hahah
ultralaz0r: also they fucked my mom and made her pregnant
ultralaz0r: wait, haha that is true. my dad's mid eastern
ultralaz0r: whoops.
DandyBuddhaToast: see, they're breeding too which causes global warming
so i hafta write this bs "what it is to be an american" paper for intercultural communication. and well, i've had it with america, quite frankly. it's viewed upon as some sorta sportsgame...and so that's what my paper is about.
ultralaz0r: how awesome is this sentence : "In attempt to patch up a window in the skyscraper of society, broken by a play that had gone out-of-bounds, bumper stickers with patriotic catch phrases are applied. "
DandyBuddhaToast: i like it......but i don't know of everyone would
ultralaz0r: ha oh well.
DandyBuddhaToast: cause remember..... the only thing that's important is what other people think of you
ultralaz0r: i think it'd be awesome if i got bitchslapped for this paper
DandyBuddhaToast: do ya?
ultralaz0r: i'd be like "HAHAHAHA CONFORMIST! BUSH TOLD YER MOMMY TO TELL YOU TO DO THAT!" and then they'll be rendered speechless coz it wouldn't have made much sense.
ultralaz0r: and then i'd walk away.
DandyBuddhaToast: yeah, i would be too.
ultralaz0r: and then a thousand years from that moment, i'd be viewed as a Socrates.
ultralaz0r: and they'd quote me in history books.
ultralaz0r: but the language would have changed so much...
ultralaz0r: that it'd be translated all proper...and eloquent.
ultralaz0r: something like:
ultralaz0r: "you know not what you do. please reconsider and reflect upon your mother's wisdom as it was inherantly achieved by your country."
DandyBuddhaToast: HA..........nice
Monday, September 16, 2002
procrastination.
now i hafta fix a computer, write a 4 page paper on "what it means to be an american," and clean my room all in one night. and i hafta go to sleep at a normal hr so i can wake up before noon and get mah hair cut.
tomorrow ima try if i can't find that kid i saw at my school. some guy i spotted in the hall, he went to catholic school with me for 5 freaking years. he looks the same too. gimminy xmas.
i want eddie izzard's comedy shows on my hard drive. that sounded dirty. as well it should.
ftp serverz haev teh ghey.
so i'm sure many people are wondering what happened with perv#1 (shysterbaby10) and perv#2("jay")
i talked to #1 and the convo went a bit like this:
me:"omg hi do u remember me?"
perv:""i dont think so"
me:"omgz, 4 reelz?"
[direct conect]
perv:"show me a pic and ill remember"
me: o i dont think i had a pic when i had last talked 2 u....but hang on i will find!
me: [sends picture ganked offa stiles of some chik flashin her mammaries] i just wanted 2 tell u that if u meet me in landpark 2nite i'll show u these in person.
him = silent ---> sign off. ha i guess they were too much for him? he's probably never gotten a "positive response" like that.
now, perv #2
he totally bought my story about my gramz wakin up and ruinin the plans....BUT he's no win santa cruz for school. but that dun stop me from resuming things this winter...i'm sure i will have gathered plenty o new pervs by them for him to rendezvous with.
in other news:
my grandma bought twizzlers. yum.
Sunday, September 15, 2002