Chapter One
Warning: Shounen-ai, meaning male x male relationship. Not a fan of some humorous, fluff-filled, and sometimes angst-y Kurama/Hiei lovin'? Well let me introduce you to a friend of mine. His name is the magical, the mystical, and the very convenient BACK BUTTON!! Figure it out, losers!! ::cough:: please don't leave me...
Disclaimer: Yeah, my name is Yoshihiro Togashi and I own Yu Yu Hakusho, and hey, what the hell, McDonalds while we're at it. So sue me. Ack! Not literally!!! Actually, as you probably by now have figured out, I own nothing. In fact, I don't even own characters like Mary-Sue, or even Ralph and Phil, the random gay men. They belong to my friend Liz. Yes, I know that sounds bad, but they have to do with the plot, I swear. I seriously can't think of anything in this fic I own... uhh... Kurama's teacher and the miniature golf guy. Oh, and the hot dog vender. That's it. I guess you can steal them if you want to...;_; Depressing, no?
Author's Notes (cough cough "rant" cough cough):
Yeah, we all know the drill for the Kurama/Hiei stuff. Kurama admits his secret love to Hiei, who runs away. Kurama contemplates, Hiei contemplates, Hiei deals with his feelings and comes back. They kiss, they have hot sex, they die in each others arms, they start a barber's shop quartet and move to New Orleans, whatever, depending on the genre. The end. Well this one is *slightly* different. Yes, due to the author hating Mary Sues (demon like creatures that are the literary embodyment of the author carrying out her out of character hormonal fantasies with characters we all know and love) with the firey firey vengance of a thousand suns, we have a little Mary Sue bashing in here. Okay, actually a lot. I lied.
This fic is for everyone and anyone who has the intellect to see beyond the facade that Kurama and Hiei are "just friends" and for everyone who hates Hiei and Kurama falling for that random girl who for some really really bad reason has joined the Urameshi team. Seriously, the only original characters that I've seen that are good in the story are villains or have extremely small parts. Bon apetit! Er... happy readings!
Sonnets. Nothing on Earth could be more frustrating, Kurama thought as he wracked his mind for something, anything to write about. Kurama normally loved poetry, but hated sonnets because not only did it have to rhyme, like normal poems, or even a normal sonnet, but the Shakespearean sonnet had a ridged set of rules. 3 stanzas, 4 lines in each stanza with each line being exactly 10 syllables. Rhyme scheme could be the first and second then the third and fourth lines rhyming, or first and third then second and fourth rhyming, with a rhyming couplet 'conclusion' at the end.
Kurama chewed on his pen a little as he stared at the heading on the otherwise blank piece of paper. Minamino Shuuichi. Perfect student. Perfect son. Perfect lie. Everything he did as a human was a lie, a lie that was every day threatening to consume him further, a lie that every day he struggled to keep separate from who he was. And yet he had failed. He was every inch of Minamino Shuuichi; their souls were one and the same. A struggle for identity. Maybe he could write about that.
Kurama allowed himself a smile and shook his head in amusement. A sonnet about a demon reborn human? They'd send him straight to the school nurse. And that kind of thing never happens to Minamino Shuuichi. No, he'd have to write about mountains or sunrises or something boringly common like that. Or rain, he though dreamily, resting his cheek on his hand and his elbow on his desk as he gazed out at the stinging wet pellets being whipped by the wind so that he couldn't even see anything outside. He sipped the hot chocolate his mother had brought up to him earlier. If not for that bothersome sonnet looming in his head, he would have been perfectly serene.
He sighed; eyes closed and deep in thought until a couple sharp taps on his window interrupted him. He tried not to smirk at the dripping fire youkai on the other side. Gently he opened his window, and Hiei leaped nimbly inside.
"Well. Look what the storm dragged in."
"Keep your comments to yourself, fox. I'm merely attempting to stay dry."
Kurama tried to hide a smile behind his hand. Hiei really was a sight to see. His cloak, normally billowy and loose, clung to him, pitifully limp and dripping. Even his hair was droopy with moisture. He looked like a wet dog. A wet dog glaring daggers at Kurama looking him up and down with a smirk.
"And you can keep your amused looks to yourself as well," the half-koorime informed him shortly, throwing his sopping cloak on the bed as he proceeded to wring out the tip of his hair on the floor. Kurama picked up the cloak and rolled his eyes at Hiei’s manners.
"You could have just handed it to me. Now my bed is wet too," Kurama chided gently. His only response was Hiei's signature 'Hn.'. He sighed and folded the wet garment carefully.
"Here. Hang this and all your other wet clothes on the shower curtain and change into these."
He handed the disdainful demon the sopping cloak and a spare pair of his smallest pajamas. They would still be too big, but they were the only things he had. Hiei wrinkled his nose at the pajamas as he took them.
"What are they?"
"They're warm and dry, and that's all you have to be concerned about. Put them on or go ahead and soak yourself to the bone," Kurama told him firmly. Hiei took them, muttering something too low to hear about stupid ningen clothing and started off in the direction of the bathroom.
"And don't make too much noise, you might wake Shiori," Kurama called after him in his gentle alto voice. He shook his head and cleaned up the little mess Hiei made coming in with a towel hung up next to the window for just such the occasion, since it became so frequent. His attention was again called to the door by Hiei.
"I don't understand how ningens can bear to live with themselves knowing this wretched excuse for a garment touches their skin every night," he complained, tugging at the good amount of extra cloth along the too-long sleeve. Kurama sighed and shook his head again.
"Come over here," he sighed in sympathetic exasperation, and proceeded to roll up the sleeves and pant legs on his short companion.
"If your fighting skills matched your level of common sense, you'd be dead and robbed in a gutter somewhere right about now," Kurama informed him, putting the last roll on the final leg of the pants. He smiled, grabbed a towel, and ruffled Hiei's still-wet hair affectionately, only to be rewarded with a glare.
"Stop that," Hiei grumbled in irritation, wriggling out of Kurama's grip. Kurama gave him a kind and knowing look. He knew that if he were anyone else other than himself, he would have gotten punched in the gut.
"Your hair's still wet. I thought you came here to get dried."
"I came here to get dried, not to be dried, baka. I can dry myself," Hiei told him, grabbing back the towel and rubbing his head a bit. "Something smells really good in here," he added, using the towel to push up a stray clump of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes.
"Well, it is my room, what did you expect?" Kurama asked in mild surprise at the statement, especially coming from Hiei.
"Not the flowers," Hiei clarified, making his way over to Kurama's desk and smelling the air curiously. "More like... that one kind of sweet snow you gave me, except... more so."
Kurama blinked, then realization struck as Hiei sat at the desk to grab something and turning around in the chair so that he was straddling the back of it to face Kurama.
"It's hot chocolate," Kurama explained as the fire youkai took the mug on the desk and inspected it. "You can have it."
"Why, is there something wrong with it?" Hiei asked suspiciously with his nose on the rim of the mug. Kurama smiled at him in amusement. Hiei, the dignified fire demon, scarlet eyes narrowed in suspicion, with his feet hardly touching the floor, in pajamas with his nose perched on a mug. Definitely a Kodak moment.
"There's nothing wrong with it, I just want you to have it," he replied, sitting down on his bed so he could talk to the demon sitting at the desk across from it. "But it's hot, so be careful."
"Hn," Hiei said in a way that let Kurama know that he hadn't listened to anything past "There's nothing wrong with it." He took a tentative sip; his eyes widened, then a gulp, and breathed out a couple times to cool his mouth. Kurama laughed.
"I told you it was hot, next time listen to what I'm saying past the answer you're looking for."
Hiei chose to ignore the comment, but savored the rich, hot liquid in his mouth, in smaller sips this time, breathing a contented sigh. Kurama would not only have given his hot chocolate, but all of his meals for a week to hear that sigh. He naturally loved making people happy, and it took a lot to make Hiei happy and have him show it. He mentally added hot chocolate to the list of foods Hiei was fascinated by.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" Kurama teased.
"Hn. Sometimes I think these stupid ningens have nothing better to do than to make sweet things. That's why they're so pitifully weak and ignorant, they're too busy baking cumcakes and drinking hot chocolate," Hiei mumbled, hands gripped around the warm surface of the cup.
"Cumcakes, Hiei?"
"Hn. They look like those muffin things your mother bakes, but with a brown fluffy substance and multicolored rods on top."
Kurama blinked, then smirked. "Cupcakes?"
"Tomato, tomahto..." Hiei said dismissively. This was too much for Kurama, who had always thought the saying was annoying, but hearing it said by Hiei somehow made it incredibly amusing.
"Where are you picking these things up?"
"I don't spend all my days sitting in trees waiting for you to come home from school and following you to your house like a stray dog, kitsune. Don't be so full of yourself. I get around," Hiei informed him, sloshing the thick unmixed syrup that is always on the bottom of hot chocolate no matter how hard you try around in circles.
"Where, to children's birthday parties and Italian mafia meetings?"
"Wouldn't you like to know," Hiei replied casually, becoming bored with the empty mug and setting it aside, folding his arms over the back of the chair and resting his head in them. "And I have never heard anyone pronounce the word as 'tomahto' except in the context of that particular saying."
Kurama thought for a moment. "True. Why don't you say it more often?"
"Why the hell should I?"
"So it becomes more used."
Hiei rolled his eyes and snorted in disgust. "That is so typical of you, Kurama. 'Let's all say every single word in the language the same amount of times so none of them are left out and everyone's contented in happy word land'. Words don't have feelings, they can't appreciate your kindness or thank you for your troubles," he spat in contempt, turning to look out the window at the violently falling snow. "It doesn't work like that in the real world, let alone in your fanciful, bubble-headed vision of linguistic equality. That's pathetic."
Kurama stared at the hateful profile of Hiei, letting a pause set in.
"I was joking, Hiei," he said softly. "I wasn't actually suggesting that you go around talking in an accent so that lesser used words could be more frequently said. Why are you so uncomfortable around sympathy, or any emotion for that matter?"
"Hn."
"Yes you do," Kurama insisted, who had practically cracked Hiei's 'hn' language for when he didn't want to talk. "Just now you got irritated at me. That's an emotion."
"Irritation isn't quite what I'm against and you know it," Hiei retorted. "I'm not uncomfortable around emotion; I just can't understand how one can sacrifice their own well being for the sake of... foolish attachments."
Kurama groaned. "We're not getting into this again, are we? You just can't leave it alone, can you? You don't understand."
"I think I understand more than you think," Hiei almost snapped. Kurama was surprised at the tone of voice. What was that anger trying to cover up? Perhaps feelings of betrayal? He couldn't tell.
"Hiei, please," he pleaded softly. "What's done is done. Why do you have to keep bringing this up?"
"No, I don't think you understand," Hiei said suddenly. "You betrayed us, you betrayed me. You betrayed yourself. All for the love of a stupid ningen woman. You would have died. Died, Kurama, given up your life, which is the most one can ever give. That's what I'm against. Anger towards your enemies, sure. Irritation towards your friends, fine. But when you're so wrapped up in something or someone that you'll pay any price or give up anything just for their sake, for their mere happiness-- when you'd rather die than see that someone hurt-- that's weakness. And that's something I am a little uncomfortable seeing in you, Kurama, yes," he concluded tonelessly, still not meeting Kurama's gaze. "Because I know that it will eventually be your undoing."
Kurama silently digested all this. Hiei rarely talked this much or opened up this much to anyone. He mused what Hiei had inadvertently described. He understood it much better than Kurama had expected, but his attitude towards it was rather depressing.
"Sometimes when you expose yourself and risk getting hurt, the results make it all worthwhile," he almost whispered. Hiei looked a little pained as he listened. Kurama looked up at him and changed tactics, speaking clearly and firmly.
"Why do you care?"
Hiei frowned a little at the question, looking Kurama in the eyes for the first time since the conversation brought them to the subject and shrugging.
"It's not in my benefit for you to give up your life for some petty emotion. It would be a utter waste of a competant fighter, not to mention--" he trailed off, frustratedly trying to articulate something that either would not come out or could not be allowed to come out, then came at it from another angle. "Why would I want it to be?"
Kurama raised one eyebrow. "Ah, but I didn't ask if you wished me to be hurt. I asked why you cared if I did get hurt."
Hiei rolled his eyes and exhaled in a scornful 'psh' sound. "It's the same damn thing, idiot."
Kurama shook his head, not bothering to explain. "I stand by my decision, and if the situation ever arose, I would do it again." Hiei snorted in distain.
"Sometimes I don't know if I'm talking to Minamoto Shuuichi or Youko Kurama," he grumbled.
Kurama gave a small smile and picked up the used towel from the floor, gently straightening it and hanging it on the doorknob.
"And sometimes I wonder if you'll ever accept that we're the same person."
"ShuuIIIIIIIIIIICHI!!" cried a bubbly, girlish voice from behind Kurama. He groaned inwardly.
"Hai, Mary-Sue-san?"
Mary-Sue giggled like the schoolgirl she was and skipped up to Kurama, attaching herself to his waist and batting her long lashes.
"When was the last time I told you I loved you, Shuuichi-chan?" she purred. Kurama sighed in exasperation.
"Just last period, Mary-Sue, when you dedicated your breakfast setting to me in Home Economics and announced that I was the syrup on the pancake of your life!" he reminded her.
Kurama was used to the simpering, lust-driven girls swooning over his every footstep, but this new girl, Mary-Sue, was really over the top. All of his normal teen worshipers couldn't muster up the courage to do more than smile sweetly and bat their eyelashes a couple times in order to receive a big fake smile and maybe a wink if he was in a good mood. They would then fall over, fanning their faces and announcing in dramatic voices to their friends that they could be the bridesmaids if they were extra nice to her.
Nothing that would actually bother--no. Bother wasn't the word. The word was more like... 'Stalk'. Mary-Sue was an exchange student from America, who had immediately set her sights on the tall, soft spoken idol of his class and wouldn't take no for an answer. For example, she had personally gone to the principal and changed her entire schedule so that she would have every class with him. Admittingly, she was quite a beauty, with flawless skin, long lashes that she loved to bat seductively at him and with eyes and hair that changed colors almost every day. She had every single guy in the school after her, but she unfortunately only had eyes for Kurama. Personally, he couldn't stand being with her for more than a few seconds, but was so polite by nature that he had to put up with it.
She giggled crazily and flipped her hair, a deep purple today.
"You're so adorable, Chi-chi!" Kurama cringed slightly at the nickname. Ugh. She took no notice of the cringe--'unable to take a hint' was one of her many annoying qualities--and continued. "We have Advanced Japanese Studies next, no?"
"Mm-hmm..." he answered as he tried to pry her arms off of his waist. Damnit did she have a grip. Kurama wondered if perhaps she was a demon hired to pull wicked souls into the fiery pits of hell in a past life.
"Did you finish your sonnet?"
"Of course," he said shortly, still attempting to get her off. "Mary-Sue, do you min--"
"I wrote my sonnet about you, my beautiful Shuuichi-chan," she interrupted, sighing happily and clinging to him all the more. "What did you write yours about?"
"Nothing you'd care about," he said hastily, reflecting upon the subject of his sonnet. "We'd better get to class or we'll be lat--"
"Ohhh!! Chi-chi, you know I care about everything and everything you do! You're the silver lining on the rain cloud of my heart!"
"And you're the thunder in the rainstorm of my headache," he muttered quietly. The least she could do to show her affection is to make some better analogies. He'd received such moving poetry from less troublesome admirers, and here Mary-Sue was always referring to him as the 'something of the something of her something!' He steered her into the classroom and miraculously managed to shake her off into her seat. It had been a long day, and he was more than ready to go home after this period. He took notes quietly, thinking. His thoughts strayed off to Hiei and their conversation last night.
...when you're so wrapped up in something or someone that you'll pay any price or give up anything just for their sake... for their mere happiness... when you'd rather die than see that someone hurt... that's weakness...
Was it truly weakness? Love-- the unspoken yet understood topic that Hiei so looked down on-- Kurama had always been taught that it was a beautiful thing. That it overthrew nations, was powerful enough to conquer everything. A weakness? But no, love itself wasn't the weakness Hiei was referring to. It was only part of it, only the risk that came with investing so much emotion in someone. Only having experienced the horrible side of it, Hiei couldn't understand how one could accept the package deal. Or understand how the risk is only part of the beauty.
...sometimes when you expose yourself and risk getting hurt, the results make it all worthwhile...
Hiei had too much pride to risk being pulled down like that, Kurama knew. He sighed in slight frustration. But he only wanted the demon to understand...
"Mr. Minamino!"
Kurama snapped out of his quiet trance, a little embarrassed. How long had the teacher been calling him?
"Hai, Professor Kibishii?"
To Kurama's relief, his teacher smiled kindly at him. "We were discussing last night's homework assignment, and I'd love for you to read yours, to show the others how it's done, eh, my star pupil?"
Kurama looked down. "Er... if you don't mind, Professor, I'd rather not..."
The teacher frowned a little. "Are you sure, Shuuichi? Usually you're very easy-going about sharing your beautiful work with us all."
"Mm," Kurama responded vaguely.
"I'll read MY poem, Kibishii-senshi!" a cheery voice piped, as Kurama groaned softly. It seemed he wasn't going to escape embarrassment by not reading his assignment.
"Well! Someone's eager," Mr. Kibishii remarked, glancing at the annoyance over the edge of his glasses. "Mary-Sue, would you step up to the front for us?"
Mary-Sue bounced up to the front of the room, waving her paper. Kurama slunk back in his seat, knowing full well what she had written about and praying that she would be as vague about it as possible, especially concerning him.
"My poem is about--" she paused and glanced about the class dramatically. "--love. True love. So listen up!!! Ahem...
"He will never understand this feeling
I know he is wrong in his rejections
If hotness were height, he'd reach the ceiling
This luscious object of my affections"
Kurama couldn't help but cringe a little at the awful attempt at poetry. Shakespeare and teeny-boppers should under no circumstances mix. The only thing he was grateful of was the fact that so far it was general enough so that no one knew it was about him. So far.
"His eyes are as green as a fresh spring bud
His hair as crimson as Hawaiian punch
If I had a net, I would catch this stud
Pack him in a bag and eat him for lunch"
Uh oh, Kurama thought, slinking back into his chair a little more as the class started to titter. This was getting a little too specific. He only hoped that--
"His name is Shuuichi Minamino," she continued loudly.
"His home phone is--"
"Mary-Sue-chan, that's enough!" he called, turning red as the class giggled. Damn her and her terrible sonnets comparing his hair to beverages with only 10% fruit juice. And how in the world did she know his phone number?
"Er, Mary-Sue, I think Shuuichi is right. You should have asked him before you wrote about such a personal subject. You may sit," the teacher said hastily.
"I'm not DONE YET!" Mary-Sue growled, stomping her foot and glowering at the class. "None of you understand fine poetry! I hope you find happiness in your demented reality!" she cried, bursting into tears and running from the class. There was a moment's pause before she stuck her head back in the doorway, twirling her hair innocently.
"Oh, and 'Chi-kun, if you have the intense desire to rush out as well and hold me comfortingly in your big, strong, good-smelling arms, I wouldn't mind--"
"That's enough," Mr. Kibishii interrupted sternly. "And get back in here, class isn't dismissed yet."
"Hai, Kibishii-senshi," she mumbled, shuffling to her seat. The class snickered as she sullenly sat, then brightened to blow a kiss at Kurama, who was trying his best to blend in with the wall. The bell rang to go home.
"Finally," Kurama sighed as he grabbed his backpack and power walked to his locker.
"Chi-chi, wait for me-me!" cried the nuisance, flinging her trendy little bag over her shoulder and running after him, only to trip on something and sprawl face-first into the floor. Kurama ignored her and successfully fled, with only his normal flock of lovesick schoolgirls following at his heels.
"Shuuichi, your eyes blossom of true love in my heart," called a rather pretty girl with big blue eyes. He smiled at her and waved, causing her to sigh wistfully as he walked out the front door of the school.
"Shuuichi what are you doing today?"
"Shuuichi, are you meeting with anyone this afternoon?"
"Shuuichi, do you have any plans?"
"I regret to say that I'm occupied at the time being. But know that if I didn't already have an unfortunately full schedule, I would spend the day with all of you," he lied, shaking the squealing and sighing girls off as he walked away. He noticed a familiar shadow in the tree opposite the school and gave it his first genuine smile of his day, waving.
"Konnichiwa, Hiei-san!" he greeted, walking straight up to the tree.
"Hn," The shadow disappeared and reappeared in front of him as Hiei before Kurama could blink. "You seem strangely happy to see me," he remarked.
"Mm. You have no idea. I may defend them often, but I can't argue the fact that teenage girls cannot for one minute even pretend to be able to control their hormones," he replied, shaking his head and heading in the direction of the park so he could walk and talk with Hiei like he usually did, knowing Hiei would automatically follow. He smiled kindly, feeling happy for the first time that day. "I rather like it when you wait for me after school, Hiei," he told the short demon quietly.
"Hn," Hiei replied, kicking a small pebble in his path and shoving his hands in his pockets. "Whatever you say-- stud," he added with a tiny smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. Kurama's jaw hung slack for a moment, confused, until realization hit him.
"You were listening!!" he accused, hitting Hiei in the arm. Hiei let the smirk grow on his face.
"Listening? Well, sort of. I was mostly too distracted by your hair, as crimson as Hawaiian punch, and your eyes, green as a fresh spring bud," he continued to tease as Kurama turned slightly red. He mumbled something incoherently about eavesdropping. Hiei hit him in the arm right back.
"Oh, stop blushing. It's your own fault you're attractive."
Kurama looked at Hiei with an incredulous look. Did he really hear what he thought he heard? Hiei looked a little irritated at the strange look.
"Don't give me that look. Just stop complaining. If you're going to reincarnate yourself in this form, you can at least deal with all your simpering ningen female followers yourself."
"Hm." Kurama mused, wondering if there was some kind of meaning behind the involuntary compliment. They walked in silence for a while side by side, Kurama enjoying the beautiful weather and sounds of nature, and Hiei pretending to be indifferent to it but really enjoying it. Completely in tune with each other, they both stopped at a random bench and sat down next to each other in the middle of it. Kurama instinctually put both arms stretched out, resting them on the edge of the bench. He sighed; looking up at the sky and watching the clouds lazily go by. He laughed softly when he saw something. Hiei cocked his head in curiosity and turned to him.
"What're you looking at that's so funny?"
Kurama's laughter quieted to a smile as he pointed to something in the sky.
"What does that cloud look like to you?"
Hiei gave Kurama a strange look and glanced up at it. "It looks like a cloud, what do you mean?"
Kurama shook his head and explained. "No, what does it most take the shape of? Use your imagination. What does it resemble?"
Hiei gave a small 'hn' and stared at the cloud for a moment. He then squinted and cocked his head so that it almost looked like he was listening to Kurama's heart.
"When I squint until my eyes are almost shut and turn my head like this, it kind of looks like a baboon in a tutu playing the drums," Hiei informed him.
Kurama blinked, squinted, and turned his head sideways like Hiei was doing.
"You're right, it does," he laughed, straightening his head. "But look at it straight on and tell me what you see."
Hiei straightened his head and peered at it. "A fox eating a giant marshmallow?"
"Ah, the winds changed it. During the time I had to explain to you about the clouds and the baboon in a tutu discovery, it must have been altered a little," Kurama sighed.
"What did you see before?"
"It looked less like a fox eating a giant marshmallow and more like a fox kissing a sleeping child. I thought it was cute."
"Hn."
"Of course, anything with a fox in it is automatically fine art," Kurama joked. Hiei didn't even bother to answer him that time, but rather quietly scanned the sky, and after a moment, pointed.
"That one."
"Hai. What about it?"
"I'm turning the tables and making you answer your own question. What do you think that cloud looks like?"
Kurama peered at the seemingly shapeless lump Hiei had pointed to. "Mmm... a rosebush."
"It's a dragon."
"Where do you see a dragon?"
"It's upside-down. That part down there is the head, and that little wisp is a fang..."
"Oh... You're right, it looks more like a dragon than a rosebush, I see it now."
"Everything's a rosebush with you."
"No, it's there. It's right side up for one. See how there are little semi-circular lumps on the straight ones?"
"The scales on the legs."
"Yes, exactly. Do you see it now?"
"I suppose I can see how it would look like a rosebush, except right now it looks more like--"
"--a fish," they said in unison. Kurama smiled and draped his arm around Hiei's shoulder in a quick, slight half hug. To his surprise, Hiei didn't remark harshly to the unnecessary contact, but rather simply tolerated it. Kurama sighed in content and just watched the spring's sky in silence with Hiei, feeling more at peace with the world than he felt he ever had.
"Hey guys! Whoa, Kurama, don't you have school? Is the great Minamino Shuuichi cutting class?"
"Konnichiwa, Yusuke-san," Kurama greeted. "No, school got out a while ago."
"Heheh, yeah, like I would know anyway, right?" he joked, plopping himself down on the bench and stretching his legs. He noticed Hiei, blinked, then looked at the sky. "What?"
"Nothing," Hiei grumbled, folding his arms and looking away.
"Anti-social," Yusuke complained at Hiei, putting his hands behind his head. "So what's new with you two? Kurama, that annoying girl lay off yet?"
Kurama sighed in frustration. "Of course she did. And did you hear about the Makai? Apparently it froze over today. Oh, and I forgot, Hiei here started to burst into tears after I showed him Bambi."
Hiei snorted derisively.
Kurama shook his head. "She's like a leech. I can't get her off."
"Oh, poor, unfortunate me," Yusuke mocked. "I'm the girl magnet of my school. Everyone loves me! All my yen don't fit in my purse and my golden crown is too tight. Come on, Kurama, how bad can it be to be a little popular?"
"I couldn't care less about your foolish social castings. If my experience as a human has taught me anything, it's that they're very poorly based, not to mention meaningless. I'm popular, but I don't have any friends--"
"Hey!" Yusuke interjected angrily.
"--in school," Kurama finished with a small smile.
"Hmph! That's better! I thought I was gonna have to hit you upside the head and spell it out for you! ...Hiei, why don't you join in the conversation with us? You hardly ever talk unless absolutely necessary," Yusuke added. Kurama made a small 'hm' noise. That wasn't true. Hiei and he have had conversations lasting all night before, Hiei going off to sleep in a tree somewhere and Kurama left to have to try and function in school on few to no hours of sleep. He wasn't exactly talkative, but he certainly wasn't as silent as everyone else professed him to be. And his ideas, in the rare instances that he shared them, were very interesting.
"Maybe it's cause the shortstack don't have any thoughts worth sharing," came a low throaty voice. Kuwabara thumped Hiei on the back from behind him, to which Hiei promptly lashed out, quicker than most people could see.
"Ow! You little bastard, you wanna fight with me? I'll tear your tiny head off!" cried the orange haired teen clutching his nose from the ground.
"Having intelligent thoughts and not sharing is a lot better than not having intelligent thoughts and sharing whether we want to hear them or not, like a certain bumbling oaf we all know," Hiei told him coldly.
"Jerk."
"Imbecile."
"Guys! Jeeze! Can't you even pretend to get along, especially in public?" Yusuke complained. "Kuwabara, you know better than to insult Hiei, then touch him. You might as well poke a sleeping dragon in the eye with a stick. If you want to talk with us, come sit over here, okay?"
"The bench isn't big enough for him," Hiei grumbled, scootching over to the end.
"It fits three normal sized people, or in this case, three normal sized people and a shrimp to fill in the cracks," Kuwabara taunted.
"You're not worth it. I'm not about to soil my good hands with your blood for a few cheap attempts at insults, if that's what you're trying to get me to do," Hiei informed him icily, turning away.
"Hmph. Like you could do anything other than bite my ankles anyway."
Yusuke smacked his forehead with his hand. "Kuwabara," he groaned, "you don't always have to get the last word, do you?"
"Was that the last word? I couldn't hear. Maybe if I had an ear on my shoe..."
Hiei was giving the offender his most hateful death glare as Yusuke tried to talk Kuwabara down. Kurama sensed the danger no one else could see as he noted Hiei clenching his hands very slightly over the fabric of his pants. He put a hand over Hiei's clenched one and leaned in so the other two couldn't hear, even if Yusuke wasn't busy shouting at his friend.
"Killing humans is immoral, Hiei, you're better than that," he murmured, feeling Hiei's hand relax a little under his.
"I swear to whatever god that will allow me to befoul their name, one of these days I'm going to have that clumsy bone-headed oaf writhing in my hand. I'll rip out his spinal cord and strangle him with it," Hiei mumbled, turning away and pretending not to care anymore. But he seemed to have calmed down enough to get control of his anger. Kurama took his hand away.
"Close enough," he nodded slightly in approval.
"Whatever," Kuwabara finally relented sullenly, on the other side of the conversation. Kurama smirked.
"Seriously, sometimes I think we're the only sane ones of the group, eh Kurama?" Yusuke grinned.
"SHUUICHI-CHAAAAAAN!" suddenly cried a familiar annoying voice. Kurama slunk down in his seat. How did she find him out here?
"Guess who?" piped a voice oozing with sugar, as Kurama felt hands clamp over his eyes from behind. Yusuke couldn't seem to control his snickering, and Kuwabara was staring with his jaw slack.
"A swift and painless death?" he guessed hopefully.
"It's a swift and painle--wait a second... noooooooo!" she giggled, stepping over the bench from behind and draping herself in Kurama's lap.
"Ow!" Hiei snarled as she stepped on his hand, pulling it away and glaring. "Watch it!"
Mary-Sue didn't seem to notice Hiei's angry remarks, Yusuke's snickering, or Kuwabara staring in obvious lust. Almost literally, she only had eyes for Kurama.
"It's me, silly! Your one true love!" Yusuke pretended to gag, and Kurama thought he saw Hiei actually gag, but Mary-Sue would not relent. Entangling her hands in his long red hair and leaning back, she giggled incessantly.
"I thought you weren't coming to the park today... what a pleasant surprise!"
"Mm," he responded, desperately trying to disentangle her hands from his hair. He got them out, and she fell backwards straight into Hiei's lap, giggling.
He gave her a look of utmost disgust and shot a glare in Kurama's direction as she straightened herself.
"Uh, I'm sorry, Hiei... Mary-Sue-chan, do you think it would be too much to ask if--"
"A rose? Pour moi??" she gasped, wrenching the flower out of his pocket, eyes big and watery. "Oh, Shuuichi I knew you loved me! Everyone else says 'noo, you drape yourself in his lap and it's sickening... you can TELL he doesn't like you...' BUT I FINALLY PROVED THEM WRONG! SHUUICHI HAS PROCLAIMED HIS TRUE LOVE FOR ME IN A SINGLE, UNBLEMISHED ROSE!"
Kuwabara seemed to snap to his senses. "I'LL GET YOU ROSES!!! I'LL GET YOU MORE ROSES THAN KURAMA EVER WILL!" he cried, leaping up determinedly. Yusuke pulled a classic anime sweatdrop and fell over. Kuwabara stepped on his face as he raced off to go pick some flowers.
"Oww... the pain..." Yusuke said, twitching.
"Er, Mary-Sue..." Kurama attempted, trying his best to reason with the annoying girl. "That wasn't for you..." Damn! It had taken him a while to find a perfect unblemished rose that suited him, and it seemed that Mary-Sue was going to steal it right in front of his eyes.
"It was for me!!" Yusuke cried, leaping up. Kurama's eyes widened in startled surprise as he stood up as well.
"Nani?!?"
"That's right!" Yusuke announced dramatically, going over to Mary-Sue and plucking the rose out of her grip with a little spin. "It's for me!" He smelled it and exhaled, batting his eyelashes mockingly and speaking in a falsetto voice. "Thank you so much, Shuuichi, it's beautiful, just like yoou."
"Yes, um... tell your sister I say hi," Kurama added, elbowing Yusuke hard in the ribs.
"Are you suuuuuuuuure it isn't for m--ow!! Alright! Jeeze! I'll tell my "sister"."
At this point Kuwabara came bounding back, bouquet of flowers in hand. He kneeled in front of Mary-Sue and presented them to her.
"You're so pretty..." he drooled apishly. Mary-Sue took the flowers and smacked him upside the head with them.
"Whyyyyyyyy..." Kuwabara groaned, falling over.
"Minamino Shuuichi, I don't think you can quite comprehend what love really is!" she cried, eyes brimming with tears and running off. Kurama sank back into his seat on the bench, thoroughly embarrassed. Yusuke handed his rose back to him, laughing insanely.
"WAIT! PRETTY GIRL! COME BACK!" Kuwabara cried in distress, chasing after her.
"Holy crap, and I thought Keiko was a handful! You've got a grade-a psychotic lady on your hands."
Kurama twirled the rose in one hand. "She bent a petal," he told the group miserably as the crushed thing dropped to the ground with a pathetic plop. "I spent so much time finding the perfect rose, and now there's a petal bent." As if on cue, the stalk fell over, bent in half, and the remaining petals drooped off. After a moment, the bent part of the stalk snapped and fell off as well, so that Kurama was left only holding the bottom of the stalk in his hand. Kurama stared at the pitiful sight for a moment and sighed deeply, resting his head on the back of the bench.
"Tough luck, bud. Oh, and speaking of insane chicks, I remembered why I came here in the first place. I have a date with one. Heheh!" Yusuke remarked, grinning. "Catch you losers later!"
Kurama half groaned half sighed. Hiei had long left; if he was merely in a tree concealing his ki or a thousand miles away he had no way of knowing. He sort of wished his friend had stuck around, but he knew it was too much to ask.
"Inari guide me as I struggle past the tribulations that my life consists of, comfort me as I cut my traveler’s feet on glass and stones, and fill me with your presence as the night sky glistens in hope," he murmured to the sky overhead, soothing himself with the familiar prayer to his fox-god. "And if you can spare the time, give Mary-Sue a nice bout of the bubonic plague."