"Bother"
--Stone Sour
~~Wish I was too dead to cry
~~My self-affliction fades
~~Stones to throw at my creator
~~Masochists to which I cater
~~You don't need to bother;
~~I don't need to be
~~I'll keep slipping farther
~~But once I hold on,
~~I won't let go 'til it bleeds
~~Wish I was too dead to care
~~If indeed I cared at all
~~Never had a voice to protest
~~So you fed me shit to digest
~~I wish I had a reason;
~~my flaws are open season
~~For this, I gave up trying
~~One good turn deserves my dying
~~You don't need to bother;
~~I don't need to be
~~I'll keep slipping farther
~~But once I hold on,
~~I won't let go 'til it bleeds
~~Wish I'd died instead of lived
~~A zombie hides my face
~~Shell forgotten
~~with its memories
~~Diaries left
~~with cryptic entries
~~And you don't need to bother;
~~I don't need to be
~~I'll keep slipping farther
~~But once I hold on,
~~I won't let go 'til it bleeds
~~You don't need to bother;
~~I don't need to be
~~I'll keep slipping farther
~~But once I hold on:
~~I'll never live down my deceit
"Spark"
Right, left, dodge, fire.
White plaster exploded around her as she ducked behind the wall, covering
her head with her hands and re-loading her gun.
Snap, click, turn.
Taking aim, she stepped out from behind her vantage point just long
enough to lock sight and pull the trigger back, releasing the silver bullet
that would put an end to another worthless existence. The vampire shrieked,
a high pitched dying sound escaping its lips as it fell to the ground before
her, exploding into dust on impact.
Rounding the corner, Ceras Victoria cocked her gun before her, eyes
searching for the next target that awaited her.
/There./
A sudden movement to her right caught her off guard, breaking her attention
momentarily as she turned to face the source of the shadow next to her.
Something silver glinted in the moonlight as it plowed toward her and buried
itself into her right shoulder blade. Forced back by the impact, Ceras
stumbled into the wall behind her, losing grip on her weapon as she fell
to her knees.
Blinding pain enveloped her body, taking away her vision and ripping
a scream from her chest.
/Something's not right, it shouldn't hurt this bad./
Footsteps fell on the soft ground before her, kicking up remnants of
plaster and dust. Something cool touched her forehead and Ceras was dimly
aware of the smell of gunpowder enveloping her senses.
Red overcame her vision as she groped blindly on the ground before
her, searching hopelessly for the weapon her hands had unwillingly abandoned.
Touching the smooth surface with her fingertips, she pulled it back and
kicked up with her right leg, feeling it connect with a solid form and
knock it backward. Ignoring the pain that was slowly taking over her body,
Ceras stood, dragging her gun up with her and bringing it up to the monster
that lie on the floor before her.
Teeth gritted, blood running down her arm and making her trigger finger
sticky, Ceras felt her face twist into something inhuman, bearing a smile
that would have caused the devil himself to tremble.
"In the name of God..." She whispered, swinging the weapon before her
and pulling back the trigger.
***
"Mission parameter complete. The targets have been silenced."
The words echoed around her as Ceras stood slowly and watched as the
dust blew free of the room, hindering her vision momentarily as it kicked
up and blew past her. Her commander was speaking to her; useless words
about completing the mission successfully and something else about helping
him gather the wounded. Approaching him slowly, Ceras met his gaze with
sharp red eyes. He gazed at her for a moment, clearly startled at her appearance,
before mouthing something inaudible to her and turning around swiftly to
run back to what was left of their team. 40 men in, 4 came out.
/There will be no tears; there will be no mourning./
Ceras stepped over the bodies of what used to be her team, staining
her boots red as she tread carelessly through their blood and kicked separated
limbs out of her way.
/This is my job./ Words echoed pointlessly through her head as she
moved trying to convince her wordlessly that what she did was right, and
that the people lying decapitated or wounded around her had not died in
vain. It was a lost attempt, as she quickly felt the tears rise to her
eyes. Pushing them back, she gritted her teeth and forced her eyes ahead
of her, walking outside of the abandoned building and moving swiftly past
the recovery team of Hellsing officers.
The mission should have been easy. It should have been the simple 'go
in, kill the ghouls and leave' operation as it usually was. But something
went wrong. They hadn't intended on it being a breeding ground for vampires,
a hidden cove where hundreds of them lived, including the ones that had
changed them. Two real vampires, not the half-changed scum that Ceras usually
dealt with. These were fully made vampires, masters to the kin that resided
in the ruined building she had just exited. The Hellsing team had gone
in, expecting a full-scale clean job. They hadn't expected the vampires
to be waiting for them.
/It was a setup. They knew we were coming./
Ceras shook her head as she walked straight ahead, occasionally bumping
into team members that ran hesitantly past her and into the circle of hell
she had helped to create. The words of Hellsing members echoed around her,
barely penetrating her tuned out mind. If she ignored it, it would go away.
It wouldn't be true. Her entire team wasn't wiped out; it was just a dream.
The sirens flashed around her, casting an eerie red glow over everything
as she made her way back to Hellsing headquarters on foot. She had never
minded walking much; it was always something that helped her take her mind
off things. /If only it could erase this./
Clenching her fists at her sides, she didn't notice that she was actually
at her destination until the stone steps rose before her, extending into
the large building that was now her home.
Swift movement, conversation ignored.
The halls were empty as she made her way past rooms, ignoring their
possible occupants and not slowing her pace until she reached the basement
door, swinging it open violently and breaking into an all out run when
she saw the closed door of her room. Barging through the door a little
recklessly, she closed it behind her and half stumbled into the room, sliding
forward on her feet until she reached the safety of her desk. Leaning against
it, she breathed heavily for a few moments before finally glancing at the
wound in her shoulder. The silver blade still protruded from her shoulder
blade, sticking out at an odd angle toward her chest.
Reaching for it hesitantly, she wrapped her hand around the base and
pulled. The blade exited easily, leaving the open wound to throb and bleed
freely. Tossing the knife in anger it darted across the room and lodged
itself into the back of a wooden chair at the base of the room. Ceras stared
at it in mild amazement for a moment before gripping the wound with her
other arm and steeling out of the room, heading toward the hospital facility.
Once there, she took in the full measure of their chaos. The entire room
was full of wounded men, lying about on beds and moaning as medical technicians
tended to their wounds. Looking around hesitantly, Ceras slid half in shadow
against the wall, using her vampiric skill to disguise herself as she managed
to grab a few bandages and some peroxide before quickly exiting. She had
no business to interrupt and ask for help. These people needed it much
more than she did. Besides, she was a vampire. She was supposed to heal
quickly. Those men-some of them might not even make it.
Forcing the thought from her mind, Ceras made her way back to her room,
ignoring the stares of random Hellsing members whose eyes danced from her
face then to her injury before realizing what she was and inevitably moving
on.
By the time she reached her destination the dull throb had transformed
into unbearable pain. Closing the door behind her softly, she fumbled blindly
toward the table, trying to balance the things on top of it and force her
hands to remain steady. It ended in her slamming into the table at a rather
unreasonable speed, knocking the bottle to the floor as her knees wobbled
and gave out underneath her. Bracing herself for the feel of hard cement
floor, she was dimly surprised as a warmth invaded her instead, bracing
her around the waist and lifting her back to a half standing, half kneeling
position. Blinking as her vision began to leave her, Ceras looked up at
the quiet face of her master as he held her close to him, his long arms
bracing her back and steadying her feet.
"Easy, Police-girl." He said softly, a small grin playing on his face.
"Looks like Hellsing got more than it was planning on."
Ceras tried to speak, but all that came out was a dry strangled noise
as her throat closed itself off. Alucard silenced her with a shake of his
head and lifted her cleanly off the floor, placing her gently on the table
in a sitting position as he knelt down to pick up the remains of her feeble
attempt to tend to her wound. A moan escaped her lips as her master tugged
her hand away from the wound, letting the blood escape and run freely down
her arm, staining her blue uniform.
"You should really be more careful Police-girl. These kinds of wounds
are not easily healed. Especially with one who refuses to take the proper
nourishment required in healing them." His red gaze met hers as she nodded
dumbly, biting her lip roughly to take the focus away from her injury.
Alucard's hands roamed over the wound for a moment before ultimately moving
to her chest. Once there, he unbuttoned the top of her uniform and pulled
it off, careful not to graze the wound as he removed the sleeves and tossed
it on the ground next to them.
Ceras knew that she should have felt uncomfortable. After all, she
was now barely clothed, sitting in front of her master in nothing more
than the bottom half of her uniform and her bra, which, as it stood, didn't
cover much. But the fact that she had a gaping wound in her arm and that
she had just suffered two hours in a proverbial hell, didn't seem grounds
to complain about the current situation. Besides, it was nice having someone
to take care of her, instead of having to worry about consequences or what
her higher-ranking officers would think.
Alucard's hands were surprisingly gentle as he poured out the disinfectant
and cleanly swiped it across the wound, drawing a low hiss from Ceras as
it began to bubble. Her master smiled that trademark grin of his as he
kept wiping the excess away, every now and then flicking his red gaze to
meet that of his younger apprentice. "I suppose this had something to do
with the Vatican, seeing as how the blade that entered your arm was blessed."
Ceras raised an eyebrow but didn't elaborate on the situation. It wasn't
her business to know all of the mission perimeters. She was given her job
and took care of the situation as ordered. Asking your superior too many
questions only resulted in either a de-ranking or a strong reprimand, both
of which Victoria wasn't too keen on experiencing.
Alucard pretended to ignore her lack of revealing information and resumed his cleaning, finally pressing the bandage against it roughly to stop the flow of blood. Ceras winced, but tried to contain the low whimper that wanted to withdraw itself from her mouth. Appearing weak in front of her master also wasn't something she wanted to experience again in the near future. Alucard smirked, perhaps from picking up on her last thought or maybe from his own ever present joke, and removed his yellow glasses with his free hand. He placed them next to Ceras' right thigh and looked her in the face, his red eyes staring intently into her own.
"Are you still in pain?" He asked, his hand still pressed against her
wound. She had to bite her lip to restrain the yell that was to become
her response.
Instead, she hissed a low, "Yes," and blinked her vision back into
place. Her master responded by pressing harder on the bandage to keep it
in place and picking up the gauze to wrap it to her arm. Lifting it easily,
he bound it carefully and ripped the end off with his teeth, sealing the
frayed end with a thick piece of medical tape that Ceras barely remembered
having grabbed. Having completed his objective he looked back at her face
and reached his hand up to brush at something. Ceras felt warm stickiness
move against her forehead and gritted her teeth as her mind tried to register
the fact that blood had just come from somewhere on her head. She reached
up a hand to clean it away when Alucard stopped her, catching her wrist
and bringing it back down to her waist as he looked at the spot of blood
that was now trailing down her cheek.
Without warning, or any kind of general reaction, he leaned forward
suddenly and licked the blood away, trailing his tongue up from the base
of her jaw to where the wound began just above her right eyebrow.
If the physical capacity for sudden movement had allowed her to react,
she would have jumped and moved back. However, considering her current
standings and the condition of her head, she could only manage a small
quiver and a strangled gasp. This only furthered to amuse her master as
he stepped back away from her, resting one gloved hand on top of hers.
"Feeling better yet?"
Ceras opened her mouth to answer in the previous manner when the pain
suddenly lifted from her head and was replaced by a dull throb in her injured
arm. Vision returned quickly, and Ceras snapped her gaze to meet her master's,
her innocent eyes full of confusion.
"But I-what did you..."
Alucard laughed again, that low raspy laugh of his that brought a chill
to her spine. He sounded so inhuman when he laughed like that.
"Be careful from now on, police-girl. I don't always want to be the
one to bandage your wounds." He patted her hand like a reassuring parent
and backed away, taking his glasses back but not placing them over his
eyes just yet. A strand of black hair fell over one red eye, shielding
most of his expression from her as he melted into the shadows. But Ceras
didn't need to see his face to know what would register there. Amusement
perhaps or maybe disinterest. Either way it was the look he usually gave
her and by now Ceras had grown used to his ever-consistent mood. "Though
it was most enjoyable this time." The words were spoken in her head as
he disappeared, leaving his apprentice confused and slightly flustered.
To Be Continued...
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