Chapter 11

Tasuki wandered the halls, deep in thought, absently expanding the tessen to its fan shape, then flattening it again. It felt good to have it back in his hands, the cool, solid metal providing a much-needed focus. "It's not gonna work," he muttered to himself. "Those two… how can she expect us to trust them? After everything they've done." A shiver ran down his spine, and he began to realize that he hadn't dealt with his experience nearly as well as he'd thought he had.

:So what? So what if I hate them for it? Shouldn't I? They fucking TORTURED me! They whipped, cut and burned me… they raped me over and over…:

:But it wasn't rape,: some dark corner of his mind insisted quietly. Insidiously. :You begged them to do it. You WANTED it.:

His knuckles whitened around the tessen's handle. :It was the drug!: He protested wildly. :They fed me that damn drug! I wasn't in control of myself!:

:But it felt GOOD,: that velvet voice murmured softly. :You liked what they did to you.:

:It was the goddamn drug!:

:It felt even better than what Chichiri does to you…:

:That's NOT TRUE!: Tasuki was shaking with anger - and fear. :Chichiri LOVES me. That makes it a thousand times better than anything any fucking drug could ever produce!:

:You want to feel it again…:

"NO!!!" Tasuki howled, and slammed his fist into the wall. He stood, trembling, his chest heaving as he struggled for control. He felt utterly sickened by his own thoughts, by his body's hidden craving to feel that impossible, intoxicating pleasure once again.

:You wanted it then, and you want it now…:

"No," he whispered again, oblivious to the frightened and concerned looks he was getting from the other students. He sank to his knees, cradling the tessen against his chest as if to protect it.

:You're no better then they are. Just like Chuin said… a little slut, panting after it like a dog in heat.:

"Th-that's not… that's not true…" His trembling increased until his teeth began to chatter, his eyes wild and unseeing.

:You would have raped Miaka, if Taka hadn't stopped you. What gives you the right to pass judgment on them?:

"I… I wouldn't have… I stopped… when I realized… she was crying… I just… I wanted to make her forget him, so she wouldn't cry any more!" his voice was an anguished whisper, tears running unheeded down his cheeks.

:And if she hadn't cried? If she had just kept fighting, and begging you to stop, but hadn't actually cried? What then?:

"I… I … I don't know… it didn't happen that way… I didn't rape her…"

:You enjoyed it. You LIKED having her struggle. You like it rough. REAL rough. Don't you?:

"NO! NO! Not like that… not like that!"

:THAT'S the real reason you liked what Kaen and Chuin did, isn't it? Who knows what was really in that needle he gave you? It might have been nothing at all. It just gave you the excuse you needed.:

"I'm not like that…"

:Aren't you? You've hurt Kouji before, in your 'playing'. And you love it when he's hard on you. Don't you?:

"I… I never… we never did more than bruise each other… and never on purpose…"

:Small steps, Shun'u. It's all shades of grey…:

"Sh-shun'u?" Tasuki blinked to hear that name. He hadn't used it, not once since he'd joined the Leikaku bandits at the age of fifteen. He'd always hated it - he thought it sounded like someone sneezing.

:You don't need a drug to feel that kind of pleasure. I can give it to you… feel…:

A jolt of intense pleasure swept through his body, and he gasped, his eyes squeezing shut with the effort of keeping himself from orgasm right there in the hallway. The pleasure was followed by a wave of pain, and yet somehow, the pain was the pleasure, and the pleasure was the pain, and it was all mixed together in the swirl of irresistible sensation… he wanted more… MUCH more…

:Serve me… and there will be much, much more…:

"Gen-chan?" Kouji's worried voice reached him vaguely through the maelstrom. "Genrou, are you okay? Buddy, what the hell is wrong with ya?"

The feeling of a hand squeezing his shoulder finally gave him the impetus to free himself from that wonderful, horrible sensation. "DON'T!" he nearly screamed, bolting away from his friend's touch like a wounded animal. The amber gaze that met Kouji's was not entirely sane. "Don't touch me! Stay away from me!"

Kouji backed off as Tasuki brandished the tessen menacingly, his friend's eyes flying wildly around the hallway, daring anyone to enter his space. "Okay, okay, Genrou… I won't touch ya if ya don't want me to. But TALK to me, buddy! What's wrong? Did you and Houjun have a fight or somethin'?"

"No… no…" Tasuki shook his head wildly, trying to gather his flyaway thoughts. "Kouji… help me…"

:You do not need him… only me. Come to me, Shun'u. Your fire will feed me, and together, we can rule…:

"NO!" he screamed, and tore at his hair. An arc of fire sprang to life around him, as his wildly fluctuating chi sought an outlet. His Seishi symbol pulsed on his forearm. Now, now he knew who that deep, velvet voice belonged to - but did he have the strength of will to fight it alone? Itami was more powerful than they had imagined, if he could come this close to breaking one of Suzaku's Own Seishi…

"Genrou!" Kouji backed off farther, his eyes wide and frightened as the flame encircled his friend. "Genrou, what's happening?"

"Get… Chichiri…" Tasuki managed to croak, fighting against the dark voice that was trying to consume his mind. "Tell him… tell him… the fucking demon… is trying to… fucking possess me… AH!" He sank to his knees once more before the onslaught, the flames rising higher around him. "GO!" he screamed at his motionless friend. Kouji jumped at the agony in his voice, then turned and ran for the stairs.

:Come to me! Come to me, Shun'u, and I will give you pleasure and power beyond anything you could dream…:

"I… will… NOT… be… tricked… AGAIN!" He summoned all the strength of will that had allowed him to break Hikou's control over him, so long ago, when that demon had tried to make him rape Miaka. The flames leapt and danced around him, their roar nearly deafening him, the heat searing his face and hands. With a final, wordless scream, and an impossible burst of strength, he snapped the hold the Majin had on his mind. "I WILL NOT BETRAY CHICHIRI!"

He heard the snarl of anger and frustration as the demon lost its hold, retreating back into its lair and leaving him panting on the floor. The flames died out, and the only sound was that of his harsh breathing. The other students had long since retreated back into their rooms, terrified of the fire and what it represented.

:Heh… first Soi's lightning, then Chichiri's shield, now my flames…: He was barely aware of his own thoughts, as he shifted painfully back to his feet. :They must all be scared out of their fucking minds.:

Staggering, he edged his way down the hallway, clinging to the wall for support. With each step he took, he got a little more strength back, a little more of his own mind, until he was possessed by a driving need to GET AWAY from the place where Itami had tried to take him over. : I gotta… get the fuck out of here… before it tries again… but where can I possibly go, that it can't reach me?:

His fingertips met cool wood, and he looked up to see that he had come to the library. :Huh. The library is as far away as you can get from the room that he's in… maybe my instincts are tryin' to tell me somethin'.: Shoving open the doors, he stumbled in and headed for the far corner. :Gotta get as far away as I can… Chiri will find me…:

The sound of a low, frantic voice ahead halted his footsteps, and he peered around the last bookcase to find that someone already occupied his corner. Two someones, in fact.

"Will you PLEASE tell me what the hell is wrong with you?" Chuin was clutching the sleeves of his kimono in tight fists, his expression worried. Tasuki had never seen the other student look so distressed - nor had he ever seen him with so little makeup on. "Kaen, TALK to me!"

Until Chuin had named his companion, Tasuki hadn't even realized that it was Kaen huddled on the floor before him. She was wearing loose jeans and an oversize sweatshirt, her magnificent purple hair knotted and tangled around her. Her face was pale and her eyes wild, as she clutched at her shoulders and rocked slowly back and forth. Tasuki's eyes widened… she looked much like he imagined HE had looked, just moments before.

"I'm just like them…" Kaen whispered, her voice hoarse as if from crying. Her eyes stared right through her worried friend, seeing something beyond them. "I'm just like they were. Everything they did to me… I'm WORSE than they were!"

"WHO?" Chuin demanded, obviously frustrated. "Worse than WHO? Kaen, you're not making any sense! What did that bastard Houjun DO to you? You've been like this for weeks… snap out of it!"

"Nakago saved me from them… and I STILL ended up just like them," Kaen murmured, obviously not hearing Chuin at all.

"Who is Nakago?!" Chuin looked near tears. "You keep apologizing to him… who is he? Kaen!"

The distraught woman looked up suddenly, her gaze locking onto Tasuki's. "You… Suzaku no Seishi… what have you done to me? Why do I remember these things? WHAT AM I?"

Chuin swung around with a snarl, eyes wide as he spotted Tasuki watching them. "You! You did this to her! You little bastard!"

"I didn't do a fucking thing to her," Tasuki replied, leaning against the bookstack and crossing his arms over his chest in an effort to conceal the trembling of his limbs. "She got some of her memories back, is all. Ain't MY fault if she's such a bitch, she can't handle it."

"What memories? You little worm! I'll kill you for this!" Chuin lunged towards him, but skidded to a halt as Tasuki brandished the tessen dangerously. Tiny flames licked hungrily along the edge of the sharp metal fan.

"I wouldn't," he said casually. "Unless and until you get your powers back, you are NO fucking match for me. Even then, I wouldn't put any bets on you. I lived a lot longer than you did, and I learned a hell of a lot about controlling my fire."

"You… lived…" Chuin repeated, dumbfounded. He stared at the flames. "Who are you?" he finally whispered. "WHAT are you?"

"Suzaku Shichiseishi, Tasuki," the ex-bandit replied, lowering the tessen slightly as it looked like Chuin was finally ready to listen. "After the two of you tortured me…" he flicked a glance at Kaen, who had sobbed once at his words, "I got my memories back. Apparently SHE," he jerked his thumb at Kaen, "got some of hers back during that fight in the cafeteria, and tried to call her lightning. Which, in turn, brought back some of Chichiri's memories, when he protected me from it."

"I don't understand…" Chuin shook his head helplessly. "What memories? What's a seishi? Who is Suzaku? WHY is Kaen acting like this?"

"I dunno why the bitch looks like someone's been stompin' on her grave. As for the rest of it… you'll find out as soon as Chichiri gets here."

"I… I was a prostitute slave, in Kutou," Kaen whispered brokenly, lifting a pleading, anguished gaze to Tasuki. "They did all the things to me, that we did to you… and worse, much worse. Nakago… he saved me, and I vowed to devote my life to him. But this time…" she trailed off, her eyes haunted, then shook her head and continued. "This time, there was no Nakago to save me… and I became no better than they."

The look of pain, shame, and self-loathing on her face was so strong, Tasuki could practically feel it himself. :Taiitsu-kun was right… I don't understand what drives them to this,: he realized. :And… Itami was even right, a little. I have no right to pass judgment on them.:

"Kaen… Soi," he murmured, crouching down to cup her face in his hands, while Chuin looked on in utter disbelief. "What you did was terrible, and I ain't pretendin' that I forgive ya for it just yet. But… you got a chance, now, to change, if ya want to. Ya don't HAVE to be like them. Remember what Nakago taught ya, bastard though he was. Miaka told me about how you told her that Nakago hadn't raped her, after all, so that she could go save Tamahome. So I guess ya gotta have a good heart in there somewhere."

"Miaka…" Kaen blinked. "Yes… I remember that… I was so jealous of her… Tamahome loved her so much… but I couldn't bring myself to destroy it. They had what I never did with Nakago…"

There was such anguish in her voice at the mention of Nakago, Tasuki decided to take pity on her. "After you sacrificed yourself for him… he preserved yer body with his magic, and carried ya around for days. He never let ya out of his sight. I think he cared about ya more than he wanted to realize."

"He… he did?" Some of the anguish faded. "Truly? He truly did?" Then it returned, doubled and more. "But I'm not worthy of him… not now, not like this…"

"So MAKE yerself worthy!" Tasuki snapped. "Change. Do some fuckin' good for a change. Chiri and I need yer help now, much as I hate it. So HELP us, and make a difference!"

Kaen blinked, as if coming from a daze. "I…"

"TASUKI!" Chichiri's voice called from the entrance. "Tasuki, where are you? Are you okay? Tasuki!"

"Oi, Genrou!" Kouji added, his voice sounding somewhat strained.

"Over here!" Tasuki called, then pinned Chuin with a glare. "And don't YOU think of going anywhere, either!"

Chichiri and Kouji appeared at the end of the aisle, looking as if they had run the whole way. Kouji was pale, and kept watching the tessen as if afraid it would burst into flames again.

"Tasuki! Are you okay?" Chichiri flicked his gaze over the two Seiryuu Seishi.

"Yeah, I'm okay now. The fucking bastard tried to use what THESE two," he flicked a contemptuous glance at Chuin, "did to me, to subvert me. Promised me all sorts of shit, but I managed to break his hold. Dunno if he's gonna try again, though."

"Gomen! I should have thought to shield you before you left, but it didn't occur to me na no da!" With a small grunt of concentration, he focused, and a soft red glow settled over them all. "There, no da. Now we're all shielded… he won't be able to even hear this conversation."

"WHO won't?" Kouji demanded. "And what the fuck do THEY have to do with anything?" He snarled at Chuin, who growled back.

"We need their help, no da. And yours, too, Kouji, if you're willing." Chichiri sank down to sit cross-legged, his expression deadly serious. "You're probably not going to believe what I'm about to tell you, but by the time we're finished, no da, you will."

Kouji leaned against the bookcase, as Tasuki was doing. Kaen sniffled once, then sat attentively. Chuin did NOT look happy, but apparently decided to listen quietly, as he also sat down.

"This school… was built to support the power base of a demon no da. That demon feeds off of pain and death, and it's been growing stronger with every 'punishment' the school metes out. Tasuki and I…" he glanced at his lover, who was brooding over his tessen, "called for help, I guess you could say no da. Taiitsu-kun told us that we aren't going to be able to do this alone, no da. And in order for you to help us…" he looked down at the scroll in his hands, "I'm going to have to give you all back your memories na no da."

Chuin's eyes narrowed, and he looked like he wanted to say something, but he kept quiet. Instead, it was Kaen who spoke. "You… can do that?" she whispered. "I… only remember… bits and pieces…"

"Hai, I can do that, thanks to this spell that Taiitsu-kun gave me na no da. But… to be perfectly honest… I don't want to." He sighed. "Kouji I don't mind so much, if he wants me to no da. It will probably make things easier on him and Tasuki, in fact. Demo, the two of you have caused a great deal of pain and suffering na no da… and I'm not certain that I can trust you not to become worse, once your powers have returned no da. Tomo… Chuin, I mean, I'm worried about you in particular."

"Yeah, feather-boy's illusions could cause a LOT of trouble," Tasuki growled.

"F-feather-boy? What, exactly, is THAT supposed to mean?" Chuin demanded.

"Tasuki, don't provoke him, na no da!" Chichiri sighed, then continued. "But, I don't have a choice, na no da. I can only trust that Taiitsu-kun is right, and you WILL help us when you get your memories back no da."

"I will…" Kaen replied, her voice pained. "I… I want to make a difference. If I can help… to atone for some of what I have done… I will."

Chuin shot her an astonished look. "I make no promises," he ground out, but there was already a look of reluctant acceptance on his face.

"Kouji?" Chichiri turned to the last member of the circle. "Taiitsu-kun didn't mention you in particular, but we could use all the help we can get, no da."

"I…" he swallowed hard, and glanced at Tasuki. "If this'll help me understand what the FUCK has been goin' on with you and Genrou, then yeah, I'm in."

"All right then no da. All you have to do, is try to clear your minds, and don't fight the memories as they return na no da. Tasuki, I need you to concentrate on your past memories, okay no da?"

"No problem, Chiri." With a deep breath, Tasuki closed his eyes and concentrated, letting his mind fall into a light trance as Chichiri had taught him. He heard Kaen and Chuin gasp as his symbol appeared on his forearm.

He heard Chichiri begin to read from the scroll, and once again felt the building of power within their little circle. As he focused on his past with Kouji, he vaguely felt his friend grope towards him, clutching at his hand like a lifeline. Tasuki squeezed back, reassuring.

"All that has been, all that once was, all that may be again… remember." Chichiri intoned. "All that you were, all that you knew, all that you may come to be… remember." Kouji's grip tightened painfully, and he heard a sharp gasp from one of the Seiryuu. "All that mattered, all that touched you, all that may shape your being… remember!"

Kaen screamed, as the light flared and pulsed, bringing with it an inexorable tide of memories. He thought he heard Chuin gagging, as Kouji tensed, his nails biting deeply enough to draw blood from Tasuki's hand.

With one last, brilliant flare, the light died away, leaving them facing one another once more. Slowly, Tasuki opened his eyes, looking around.

Chuin scrambled to his feet, and bolted for the nearest wastebasket, where he was noisily and violently ill. Kaen sobbed helplessly into her hands, while Kouji stared at the Suzaku Seishi in wonder.

"Genrou…" his friend murmured, turning wide eyes to him. "Genrou, gomen. I didn't understand… what he meant to you. I didn't understand… what you'd been through, to be together. I remember, now. Forgive me."

"Bakayarou," Tasuki replied fondly. "Yer my best buddy forever, remember? My aniki. Ain't your fault ya didn't remember. I'm just glad ya finally understand."

"Chichiri-han…" Kouji turned to his best friend's lover. "You take good care of him, you understand me?"

Chichiri smiled at him through tears. "Hai. Always. Arigatou, Kouji no da."

"Tasuki-san…" Soi whispered from his other side. He turned to look at her. "Arigatou. For bringing me to my senses. I know I can never make up for what I did to you… but I will try."

Tasuki heaved a sigh. "Aw, fuck it. Don't worry about it, okay? All we gotta worry about now is bustin' this damn demon back ta hell where it belongs."

"What's with him?" Kouji asked, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at the still heaving Chuin.

A sad look passed over Soi's face. "Given what little I know of Tomo's background… I would say he is remembering."

Chichiri rose, and moved to Chuin's side. From his slow, deliberate movements, Tasuki knew his lover had been utterly exhausted by the spells that day, and was now near the end of his reserves.

Chichiri reached out and placed his hand gently on Chuin's shoulder, causing the other man to look up. "Chuin… daijoubu no da."

The other teen shuddered once, and shook his head quickly. "Iie. I… am Tomo. Chuin… is the name that THEY gave me." He spat the word as if it tasted foul in his mouth. There was even more misery and shame in the gaze he turned to Tasuki then had been in Kaen's earlier. "Tasuki-san… If what Kaen did was unforgivable, what I did was more so. I… cannot ask your forgiveness. I only ask… let me help, now, to repair some of the damage I have done. For, if this demon feeds off of pain…" he shuddered again. "I have surely given it a veritable feast."

Tasuki couldn't believe the change that had come over the two bullies. Tomo practically had his head on the floor, he was bowing so low, and Soi wasn't much better. "Aw, fer cryin' out loud…" He lifted his hand to the back of his head, embarrassed at all the attention. "Just give it up, will ya? Help us beat the fuckin' demon, and then don't screw with anybody ELSE, and we'll call it even, okay?"

"You have my word on it." Soi and Tomo spoke with one voice, and Chichiri nodded in satisfaction.

"We should move on him as soon as possible no da… he CAN'T be unaware of what occurred here, even though I was shielding it na no da. That was the second large use of magical energy in one day - he'll be on his guard no da. And he's already attacked Tasuki once…" the monk stumbled and fell to one knee, gasping.

Tasuki was at his side in an instant. "Chichiri! Daijoubu? Is it attackin' ya?" Tessen at the ready, he glanced around wildly for an opponent he could fight.

"Iie… daijoubu, Tasuki no da…" Chichiri wiped a trembling hand across his face, and smiled up at his lover reassuringly. "I'm okay. Those spells just took a lot out of me, na no da. I guess, maybe I need to rest a little, before we attack no da."

Tasuki took in his pale skin, shaking hands and slightly ragged breaths, and agreed. "I'll help ya back to the room…"

"I'll do it, Gen-chan," Kouji interrupted, straightening from against the bookshelf. "You need to fill Soi and Tomo in on what the hell's going down here. I'll catch up from ya later, okay?"

Tasuki nodded, and watched as his friend half-carried his lover out the door, before turning back to his former enemies. "All right you two… here's the way it works."
 
 

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Kouji returned quickly, carrying the sheets of information Tasuki and Chichiri had collected off the net. The next several hours were spent forming a tentative plan of action.

"Of course you realize," Kouji drawled, leaning back in his chair and propping his feet on the table, "That this plan is gonna go straight to hell when the battle actually starts."

"Duh," Tasuki returned, absently tossing a wadded up paper ball at his friend. Kouji batted it aside with the ease of long practice. "But better to have a plan that gets blown to hell, then no plan at all."

"Agreed," Tomo nodded. "At least we will have some semblance of coherency to start with."

"Then we just gotta kick his… AH! ITAI!" he screamed at the sudden wrenching, clutching pain in his chest. Searing claws of agony scraped along his torso, until he felt as if every inch of his skin must have been flayed away.

"Gen-chan? What? What's wrong?" The other three were out of their seats, Kouji crouched over him with worry.

"AH! Ah, fuck, that hurts!!" His vision was beginning to grey from the sheer physical torture of it, and deep within himself, he could feel his soul screaming in pain. "Chichiri! Fuck, they've got Chichiri!" Staggering to his feet, he bolted for the door, weaving back and forth like a drunk.

"Matte!" Pounding feet behind him, and then Kouji's supporting hand at his arm. "Gen-chan, what's happening?"

"He's fuckin' got Chichiri! He's doin' something AWFUL to him!" Tasuki was nearly in tears from the pain. "His chi's goin' NUTS! We gotta help him!"

Strong arms scooped him up from behind, and he looked up to see Tomo's grim face above him. "It's faster this way, you can barely walk."

"Just go!" Tasuki choked out, clutching at the other teen's shoulders.

The four raced through the halls, to the astonishment of every student in the dorm. Tasuki thought he spotted Naisu staring at them at one point, jaw on the floor as she dropped the book she'd been holding and gaped after them.

The door to their room had been propped open, and Tasuki felt his heart sink as Tomo set him back on his feet in the hallway. The pain had faded somewhat, letting him focus and move through it, but urgency pulsed in him like his heartbeat.

Inside their room, he found the secretary who had guided them on their first day, Kizeki, carefully placing Chichiri's books in a box. "WHAT'RE YOU DOING?" he bellowed, horrified. Of Chichiri himself, there was no sign.

"I am packing Li-san's belongings," Kizeki informed him in a prim voice, eyeing the others crowding the doorway with some distaste. "He has been expelled. You will have the room to yourself, Kou-san."

Tasuki turned white, then green, as the pain clenched once again, then retreated. "W-why?" he stammered. :'Cause of the spells, dumbass… they must have traced it back to him…are they gonna kick me out, too?:

Another wave of pain hit him, and he tried to keep it from showing on his face. :What're they DOING to you, Chiri? Gods!:

"He used his laptop to break into a satellite connection, and gain access to the internet," Kizeki replied. "Not only is it strictly against the rules of the school, it's against the law, as well. He's being returned to the correctional facility, to serve out the rest of his original prison term. After appropriate punishment, of course." There was a feral gleam in her eyes that made Tasuki positively sick to his stomach.

"No…" he nearly whimpered, his knees trembling and threatening to give out on him. Only Kouji and Tomo's quick actions prevented him from collapsing. "No… you can't… not Chiri…" The four teens stared at one another in helpless shock.

:I don't wanna see that look in his eyes… like everyone else here… scared and beaten… submissive… please, Suzaku! Help us!:
 
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