Part 9

Tasuki was nearly in tears again as Chichiri slowly lowered his mouth to hers; but for the first time in weeks, they were tears of joy, not sorrow or fear. She eagerly tilted her face to meet his, feeling his sweet breath puff against her lips as he brushed a butterfly-soft kiss on her waiting mouth. He pulled back a little, and she opened her eyes to see warm concern radiating from his single brown eye.

"Tasuki?" the monk husked, clearly uncertain if he should continued. Tasuki smiled slightly, and raised her hands to cup his face and pull him close. This time she initiated the kiss, and though she kept it gentle, it was firm and a little wet, their mouths parting slightly as they instinctively sought more depth. This time when they pulled apart, both of them were breathing a little harder.

"I love you, Chichiri," Tasuki spoke softly, but her eyes shone with conviction. "I'm not sure when I first realized it, but I've known it for a long time." He opened his mouth, but she hushed him as he had hushed her earlier, with a finger to the mouth. "You don't have to say it back. I know you care about me - you show it in everything you do. As long as you promise that I won't lose your friendship because of this, then I'll be happy."

Chichiri swallowed hard, and looked as if he might be near tears himself. "I - you're right. I can't say that yet. But - but I DO care about you. As more than just a friend. I - I've missed you terribly, Tasuki. I haven't been happy without you by my side."

At that, the tears which had been threatening spilled down Tasuki's cheeks. "Oh... oh, Chichiri..." she threw herself into the monk's embrace, wrapping her arms about his neck and raining tiny kisses all over his face. "I've missed you too, buddy!" Chichiri gave a slight laugh and captured her face in his hands, holding her still long enough to kiss her again.

Tasuki put everything she had into the kiss, opening her lips and slipping her tongue out to slide along the seam of Chichiri's mouth. Startled, the monk parted them, and she plunged into his hot mouth.

"Mmmmm...." Chichiri moaned, his eyes closed, his hands roaming restlessly along her back. Tentatively, he met her tongue with his own. Encouraged by the small, pleased noise she made, he began sparring with her, forcing his way into her mouth and exploring slowly.

She gasped as they broke for air, her features blissful. "I never thought this would actually happen," she whispered, as if speaking to herself. "Only in my dreams..." She opened radiant amber eyes to find him blushing madly.

"Anou... Tasuki...." He blushed even harder. "I... I'm not really.... really sure what I'm ... uh... supposed to do at this point." At her incredulous stare, he looked slightly defensive. "What? Kourin and I never got beyond kissing... it wouldn't have been proper. And I've been a MONK since then... trained by TAIITSU-KUN!"

Tasuki shuddered slightly. "Yeah... yeah, I can see where livin' with her would turn ANYbody celibate!" She grinned at him, showing a bit of fang. "Well, it ain't hard... ya just do what comes naturally."

"Easy for you to say," Chichiri muttered sourly, but showed his willingness to try by capturing her lips again, this time taking the lead and swirling his tounge around hers.

They battled back and forth for a bit, Chichiri's hands describing circles on her back which slowly moved closer and closer to her sides. Finally, greatly daring, he moved them forward and gently caressed her breasts.

"Oh.... " she moaned, and leaned into the touch. "I gotta admit, that's one thing guys are missin' out on."

He chuckled a bit, and grew a little bolder, trailing kisses down the side of her neck as he tilted her back onto the bed, leaning over her. His touch on her breasts grew a little firmer, and her chest heaved beneath him.

It took him less than a second to realize that her response had changed subtly, and he looked up, his face shadowed in concern. Her shallow, rapid breathing was an indication of fear, not passion, and her wide, blankly staring eyes told him that she wasn't here, with him, but rather was trapped in her own memories. He cursed himself for not realizing the effect such actions might have on her, and moved back to a non-threatening distance, his hand resting gently on her shoulder.

"Tasuki? Tasuki!" he called softly, not wanting to startle her. His free hand brushed a strand of her fiery hair from her forehead. "Tasuki, come back to me, please."

She shuddered, and her eyes focused abruptly. "Chi... Chichiri? Wha... what happened?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing," he replied, as he gathered her into his arms. She leaned her head into his shoulder.

"I.. I blanked out. I dunno... I think I was... remembering...." she shuddered again, more forcefully this time, and he began to rock her gently.

"Daijoubu," he whispered, burying his face in the mass of her hair. She clung to him desperately, and he murmured words of reassurance.

"Chichiri... gods, it was... so.. horrible," she choked, her hand clasping at his kesa until the knuckles turned white. "You have no idea... what they did to me..."

"Dou, dou," he rubbed her back soothingly, but let her continue speaking. Sometimes, talking about it to a trusted friend was the best possible medicine.

"They... they tied me up... with rope, an'... an' other stuff.... I'm prolly a lot more flexible, now..." she gave a weak laugh, but there was no mirth in the sound. "Sometimes... sometimes they'd go, one right after the other.... sometimes, more than one at once... I... I had ta...." she blushed, looking away from him. "I had ta... suck 'em off... ya know... an' they made me swallow.... I threw up a lot, and then they'd make me... make me lick it up... and they laughed...."

Chichiri was nearly shuddering in rage now, unable to believe the horrifying experience his friend had had. Never had he heard of such depravities, never had he even imagined such men existed. Even Nakago, famed for his sexual exploits on and off the field, had had his limits. This went far beyond them.

Tasuki was crying again, his kesa turning a darker blue as it soaked up her salty tears. "I think... I think the laughter was the worst. They really ENJOYED makin' me hurt, makin' me sick." She shuddered, then suddenly looked at him with pain-filled eyes. "Except... except for the hurtin'... it wasn't anything I hadn't done before, with Kouji... and enjoyed, too... but... it was different, when they did it... when they MADE me do it..."

"It's all right," Chichiri assured him, but Tasuki shook her head furiously.

"It's NOT all right! Chichiri, they took me, they made me as dirty as they are. I feel like I'll never be clean again. I... if all this had happened before... before I left... before that bitch changed me... before they...." she started sobbing too hard to make herself coherent. "I'm not good enough for you, now," she finally managed, her voice choked. "I'll never be good enough for you..."

"Tasuki, what they did was NOT YOUR FAULT!" Chichiri forced her to look him in the eyes, to emphasise his point. "You fought them - you know it, and I know it. If there was ANYthing you could have done to stop them, you would have. I know you. YOU HAD NO CHOICE.... and you are no less as wonderful because of it. I don't hold their actions over you... and if I did, it would be I who wasn't worthy of you, not the other way around."

Seeing the disbelief in her eyes, he searched for better words. "Tasuki... think of Yui. When Nakago made her believe she'd been raped, did that make her any less a good person? When he convinced Miaka that he'd raped her - was she any less a wonderful girl because of it? Should Tamahome have abandoned her, because she was 'ruined'?"

"That's different!" Tasuki protested, but her voice was weak and she looked thoughtful.

"Is it?" Chichiri waited while she thought it out, and saw the answer in her face. He grasped her chin and kissed her firmly. "What I feel for you is not affected by what happened to you - except that if I ever catch any of those men, I'll be very tempted to use magic on them that I shouldn't. Magic that will rip them limb from limb... or worse yet, castrate them and feed it to them." Tasuki's eyes widened as Chichiri's grim face promised that he would follow through on that threat.

His face gentled, and he watched her with some concern. "We don't have to do this, now, if you're uncomfortable," he said, hugging her softly. "I can wait..."

"No!" She protested, her voice wobbling only a little. "No, I want ta do this. I want you to make me remember that it can be good, too. I've waited too long for this... I'm afraid ya might slip away if I pass up this chance."

"I'm not going anywhere," Chichiri said, but didn't argue Tasuki's choice. "We'll take it easy, then. You take the lead, and I'll follow - and if I do ANYTHING, anything at all, that makes you the least bit uncomfortable, let me know, okay?"

Tasuki nodded, her face determined, and leaned in for another kiss. "I love you, Chichiri... and I trust you. Make love to me, please."
 
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