Changing Circumstances
By lupinewraith

Part One

Zelgadis carried his grandfather's dinner through to the dining hall. He'd finished his studies, made the food and now he had to play waiter to the man he hated. The only person he had to talk to was Rezo and that just increased his desire to kill him. He hated his life: the loneliness of the tower, the repulsion he saw on the faces of everyone who looked at him, his inability to leave and start a new life. There was no one to spend time with, no one to care for him. He was alone.
He sighed as he entered the room, keeping his eyes on the ground to avoid the sight of the Red Priest for as long as possible, but as he raised his head and approached the table his breath caught in his throat. There was another man there. A dark black cloak hung from his shoulders and his profile was caught in a mysterious smile. The stranger turned to look at Zelgadis and the chimera had trouble walking. The man's eyes were so deep, they seemed to beckon him forward and promise passion and adventure. His hair, a deep purple in the light of the room, hung down to his shoulders. His skin was light, his smile enticing. His clothes revealed the outline of a slim body. Zelgadis leaned on the table and looked downwards, hiding his face behind his locks of hair.
Who is that man? He thought as he slowly walked round the table and put Rezo's food in front of him. The moment the tray touched the table he realized that he hadn't been ordered to bring any for the stranger. Was I supposed to bring something for him? Will he think I'm rude? Why didn't Rezo tell me there was someone else here?
"Zelgadis," Rezo said, breaking him out of his reverie. "This is Xelloss. He will be staying with us for a while. He and I have a few things to discuss."
Staying for a while ... But who is he? The chimera wondered. His eyes stayed on Xelloss throughout the meal. Every movement Xelloss made entranced him. He'd never seen anyone like this before. He was so graceful and lissome and betrayed no fear at all of the Red Priest.
*
Xelloss was bored. His mistress had sent him to discuss the resurrection of Shabernigdo with Rezo, but quite frankly he found the task very dull, and he wasn't looking forward to the time he was going to have to spend talking to the Red Priest. As he stifled a yawn and half-heartedly listened to Rezo's words, he heard a door open at the end of the room and caught a glimpse of a young man holding a tray of dishes.
That must be his grandson, Xelloss thought as he turned to look at the newcomer. Well, the Red Priest certainly does have good taste, I must say that. He's beautiful. Xelloss watched the agile movements of the chimera as he walked down the length of the table and tried to gauge his abilities. He's powerful ... but his power is raw, and he's very young ... he's been through a great amount of pain too. Maybe this stay won't be so bad after all ...
*
Zelgadis practiced with his sword furiously. No matter how hard he tried, he knew he wasn't harnessing his full power and it infuriated him. As he stabbed and swiped he could feel something locked away inside. There was some magic he couldn't use.
Finally he threw his sword on the ground with an angry shout, but whirled round immediately as he heard someone behind him clapping. His grandfather's guest was sitting on the dirt slope beside his practice area, watching him.
"My, my, Zelgadis, you certainly do try hard!"
"Why are you watching me?" Zelgadis asked, scowling.
"That is a secret!" Xelloss said, his purple eyes glinting in the sunlight. Zelgadis was irritated with Xelloss for watching him, but he was angrier with himself for being flustered and unable to think of anything to say.
"Why are you here?" He asked after staring at the man for a few seconds. "What do you and Rezo need to talk about?"
"That is also a secret!" Zelgadis picked up his sword, trying to hide his exasperation. Xelloss was just so maddeningly confident and secretive, he made Zelgadis feel inferior no matter what he said.
Why won't Xelloss tell me anything? He wondered as he started to walk back to the tower. I know I've barely talked to him ... but he doesn't have to keep everything a secret from me!
"Leaving already?" Xelloss asked casually, not turning to look at Zelgadis as he walked away. "I could teach you to use your power, if you want." Zelgadis turned back to face him.
"Are you being serious?"
"Perfectly."
"Why are you offering to teach me?" He asked skeptically. "I hardly know you and I definitely don't trust you. Why are you being so generous?"
"You could say curiosity, or perhaps boredom. Maybe I just want to get to know you better." Xelloss turned over onto this stomach to face Zelgadis. "You seem like such an interesting person!"
"I interest you?" Zelgadis asked coolly. "You make me sound like a hobby. Anyway, what do you think you could teach me that Rezo can't?"
"Or won't," Xelloss replied calmly. Zelgadis looked down into his eyes, and tried to deny the fact that he was aching to be close to him.
"Why wouldn't he teach me something?" he asked curiously.
Because, Xelloss thought, he's afraid he's made you too powerful. He doesn't want to teach you how to use the strength he's given you because he's scared you will become a threat to him.
"Because Rezo isn't part Mazokou, like you," he said out loud.
"How do you know that?" Zelgadis asked quickly, suddenly becoming extremely wary.
"That is a secret!"
"But why does that make you more qualified? Are you part Mazokou?" Zelgadis asked, unable to restrain his curiosity.
"Yes," Xelloss said, smiling. Zelgadis looked at him suspiciously.
Ok, so this man intrigues me, he thought. First of all he was watching me practice and now he knows I'm part Mazokou! And he says I interest him ... Damn it! I'm attracted to him ... to a man! But I can't let my emotions overcome my mind! That would make me weak again, and my strength is the one thing I gained through this accursed transformation! But ... if I let him teach me, I could become even stronger. If he is part Mazokou, maybe he'll understand ... Anyway, if I spend some time with him I might be able to find out what he and Rezo are up to, and how he knows so much about me.
"Ok," he replied challengingly. "Teach me." Xelloss grinned.
*
"No, raise your arm slightly," Xelloss instructed jovially, lightly raising the chimera's arm with his finger. Zelgadis set his teeth and obeyed the instruction. "Now cast the spell."
"Elmekia Lance!" Zelgadis watched the spell sail past the tree he was aiming for and land in some bushes behind it. "Damn it! If you hadn't said anything then I wouldn't have missed!" he shouted, rounding on Xelloss.
"I didn't force you to do anything, did I?" Xelloss asked innocently.
"But you told me to move my arm!"
"Do you do everything you're told?" Zelgadis opened his mouth to say something, then stopped and changed his mind. Instead he asked angrily:
"How am I supposed to learn if I don't obey your instructions?!?"
"Maybe it's more important for you to learn that you don't always have to do what other people tell you to." Xelloss tilted his head to one side, watching Zelgadis glare at him. "There will be no one to instruct you in battle, you have to follow your own instincts."
"That's not what I asked you to teach me!"
"If I recall correctly you didn't ask me to teach you anything. I offered." Zelgadis growled.
"So you're telling me I shouldn't listen to you?"
"I didn't say that."
"Then what the hell did you say? Stop talking in riddles!" Zelgadis shouted, maddened by the way Xelloss was laughing at him.
"Really, Zelgadis, you have to learn to control your emotions. Your enemies will taunt you in battle just like I have, and if you lose your temper they will gain the advantage."
"Control my emotions? That's just what I've been trying to do all this time I've been with you, but it never works!" Zelgadis shouted in exasperation, then realized what he'd said.
So you have feelings for me you need to repress! Xelloss thought triumphantly. I'm glad, because I really didn't want to seduce someone who hated me ... not that I haven't done it before. It is a lot of fun, and very rewarding, but it would have been disappointing if I hadn't captivated you at all!
"What I mean," Zelgadis said. "Is that I've tried not to be angry when you've been teaching me, but if you'd simply tell me what to do then it would make it a whole lot easier!"
"Who said this was supposed to be easy? Life is complicated, Zelgadis. I'm trying to teach you to trust your own feelings, but don't let them get out of control."
That's easy for you to say, Zelgadis thought, as he cast the Elmekia Lance again.
*
Zelgadis collapsed on the ground with exhaustion.
I just ran ... so fast ... how is that possible? And the spells Xelloss taught me! ... Rezo never even hinted that I was capable of them! Xelloss floated down to sit next to him. He was really having fun. Zelgadis was such an able pupil, and he delighted in the chimera's anger, but it was more than just that. Although he didn't like admitting it to himself, he was really enjoying spending time with the young chimera.
"Where did you learn all this?" Zelgadis asked once he'd caught his breath.
"Various places," Xelloss replied.
"That's a very evasive answer." The chimera rolled over onto his side and supported his head on one arm. Xelloss sat down cross-legged next to him and leant back against a tree. He closed one eye and looked down at the chimera, his fingers laced behind his head.
"It wasn't a very specific question." Zelgadis regarded the smooth visage of his companion. He was continually having to stop himself from getting lost in those eyes, but right now he didn't mind.
"I suppose not," he answered and his mouth curled up in a slight smile. "Ok then, how did you become part Mazokou?"
"It's a long story," Xelloss answered, as the breeze blew a strand of hair across his face. Zelgadis felt an involuntary shiver run through his body that he hoped was from the coolness of the wind. "How did you become a chimera?" Xelloss asked, gazing down into the one visible eye of his companion. Immediately Zelgadis' smile disappeared.
"You already know, don't you?"
"Yes," Xelloss replied simply, as if he attached no significance to the fact.
"Then why did you ask?"
"I was just making polite conversation."
"I don't want to talk about it," Zelgadis said, and Xelloss could feel him immediately retreat inwardly.
Damn, I shouldn't have asked about that. Oh well, it did create some delicious emotions to feed on, but somehow I feel sorry for bringing it up. How strange that I'm feeling something akin to remorse! I think I'll just try some more direct tactics and stop messing around. He moved away from the tree and lay down next to Zelgadis.
"Well, I'll change the topic then," he said. "Do you have someone special?" Well, that's about as direct as I can possibly be!
What?!? What am I supposed to answer to that? Zelgadis thought desperately. And why did he ask? He couldn't ... like me, could he? No, he would never be attracted to someone as weak as me, but now he's lying so close ... I wish he would move away so that I could think clearly! I can't believe I'm having these feelings about a man! This is wrong! Xelloss' smile widened as he felt the confusion of the chimera, and he inched a little closer.
"You don't have to be scared," he said, reaching forward and brushing some hair back from the chimera's face.
"I ... I'm not scared," Zelgadis said, as he started trembling. Xelloss leaned in closer until their faces were almost touching and he could feel the chimera's breath on his cheek. Zelgadis felt unable to move as a conflict of emotions fought inside him. Suddenly, he felt a familiar force tug at his body and he moved back sharply. Xelloss raised an eyebrow. "Rezo is calling me," Zelgadis explained quickly, then leapt up and ran back towards the tower.
Well this assignment is certainly turning out to have hidden benefits, Xelloss thought as he watched the chimera leave.
*
Zelgadis leant against the cool wall of the castle corridor, his chest tight and his breathing constricted.
Damn it! What just happened? I said I wasn't going to let my emotions get involved! Gods what does this mean? He put his head in his hands and took a deep breath. I had a moment of weakness, but I won't let it happen again. I probably misunderstood ... Xelloss couldn't care for someone like me ...he's perfect ... and his eyes mesmerize me. No one has ever looked at me like that ... but I know it would be impossible anyway! Rezo would never allow it and when Xelloss left I couldn't go with him. Wait, what am I thinking? It doesn't matter whether Rezo would allow it or not because Xelloss could never be attracted to me! I'm deluding myself because I'm so lonely. Anyway, he's a man! And that's wrong ... isn't it? I'm so pathetic! What's wrong with me?!?
"Zelgadis! Why are you taking so long?" Rezo's voice called sharply. Zelgadis was snapped back to the present and he rushed to serve his grandfather.
*
Exhausted after doing Rezo's bidding for hours, Zelgadis slid into the refreshing water and let it engulf his entire body. Once under the water he let out a silent scream of rage and frustration then hit the side of the stone bath with all his force.
He surfaced again and leant back against the wall, glaring at the ceiling as if it were responsible for his situation.
"Tut, tut Zelgadis. You must learn to control your anger!" Zelgadis made a small noise and lost his position on the wall, falling back under the water.
Xelloss! Oh no, not Xelloss! What the hell is he doing here? How am I supposed to act around him? As the chimera tried to answer these questions, Xelloss swam leisurely over to him and gently lifted his head above the surface.
Hmm, he's so sexy when he's confused! Xelloss thought cheerfully. And almost completely naked. That definitely helps. Zelgadis swallowed hard and backed away from Xelloss' silky touch. His back hit the wall of the bath. He looks rather like a cornered rabbit. Well, it's rather appropriate really. I am the hunter and he is my defenseless prey. A small, sultry smile crept across his lips as he moved through the water towards the chimera, his exposed chest glistening with moisture in the candlelight.
"It must get so lonely, bathing here all by yourself," he said in a low voice. Zelgadis' eyes darted to the side, trying to avoid looking at the smooth skin of the other occupant of the bath.
"I prefer to bathe alone," he tried to say firmly as his mind reeled. "Anyway, I'm done bathing for today." I have to get out of here!
"You are? But you only just got in. Surely you can't be finished so soon," Xelloss practically purred as he ran a finger along Zelgadis' bare chest. The chimera practically yelped in response as a shiver ran through his body
"W ... what are you doing?" He asked, his whole body shaking. He's touching me! What does this mean? This can't be right! I mean, he's a man ... and ... why does it feel so good? What is he trying to do? As if in response to this silent inquiry, Xelloss moved even closer to his paralyzed prey until their bodies were only centimeters apart. Zelgadis leant over the edge of the bath as far as was possible without falling out, but Xelloss' body arched to follow his, although the seducer still didn't allow their skin to touch. Why doesn't he touch me? Why doesn't he kiss me? Xelloss ...
Xelloss regarded the torn look on the chimera's face and his smile widened slightly. Suddenly he slid backwards into the water and lazily floated away.
"Well, if you're sure you're done then I won't try and keep you. See you for lessons tomorrow, Zelgadis." He climbed slowly out of the bath, making sure Zelgadis had time to take a long look at his body, before he left the room, swaying his hips provocatively as he rounded the corner and disappeared from sight. Perfect performance, even if I do say so myself. I truly am a master at the art of seduction, he thought.
Zelgadis slumped breathlessly back into the water, fervently trying to deny his wish that Xelloss had kissed him.

more to come.