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ThE WiT & WiSdOm Of HoMeR SiMpSoN



The Wit and Wisdom of Homer Simpson

Who doesn't love and admire Homer Simpson? While this loveable oaf has entertained us for more than a decade, we often overlook the profound and entertaining insights he imparts. Here are some of his more memorable gems:

Being eaten by a crocodile is just like falling asleep-in a blender.

Weaselling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.

Shut up brain or I'll stab you with a cue tip!

I am so smart. I am so smart. I am so smart. SMRT.

There's that purple stuff inside. Purple is a fruit!

Marge, tonight we're gettin' drive-thru and doin' it twice!

The winner will be praised with riches, the loser will be booed until my throat is sore.

You're lucky boy, because it's spanking season and I got a hankerin' for some spankerin'.

Florida. That's America's wang.

Don't hassle the dead boy. They have eerie powers.

Let us celebrate our new arrangement with the adding of chocolate to milk.

Crying won't bring your dog back, unless your tears smell like dog food. So, you can go on sitting there crying and eating dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food for your dog to come back, or you get up and find your dog!

Note to self. Stop doing anything.

Florida. That's America's wang.

If I didn't have this gun, the King of England could just walk in here anytime he wants and start shoving you around.

Quiet honey, you don't know how big this government is. It goes all the way to the

Let the bears pay the bear tax, I pay the Homer tax.

If it's brown drink it down, if it's black send it back.

Who needs new music? We all know rock music attained perfection in 1974.

Homer no function beer well without.

I'm just trying to get into heaven. I'm not running for Jesus.

Speed limits are just a suggestion, like pants