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It was late when I wrote this, so donít blame me if itís a little weird. I donít own any of the Escaflowne gang; I only own the weasels wearing vests running away scared in Episode 14, but they have lodged themselves in my brotherís pants, so donít expect to see them for awhile. O.o;;

Un-random Insanity (with me itís a common thing)

Un-random Insanity #1-The Auction

(group of esca fans sit in auditorium seats while an auctioneer crosses stage to podium)

Auctioneer: Hello, and welcome to the first annual Escaflowne Auction! The first item we have to bid is...(whispers to assistant) What do we have again? HIS WHAT? Youíre joking right? Who would want to buy that? Fine, just bring it out. (turns back to audience) We have, urm, Folkenís metal arm!

(People ooh and ahh as the lovely assistant displays the arm with dramatic gestures)

Folken: (shouting) Hey, I still need that! (waves stump of arm to get attention)

Fangirl 1: (whispering) Urm, Folkie-sama? I really hate to tell this, but you died, remember?

Folken: (yelling) Great, you just ruined my great exit at the end of the series! AND WHY MUST YOU PEOPLE KEEP CALLING ME FOLKIE-SAMA?!

Fangirl 1: (snuggles Folken) Because itís kawaii like you, Folkie-sama!

Folken: Oh. Okay. (drapes real arm across her shoulders as he returns to his seat)

Auctioneer: Okaaaaaaaayy, letís just skip that item, and go to the next one. Our next item is a date with that famous knight, Allen Schezar!

(total silence as Allen struts himself on the stage)

Auctioneer: Letís start the bidding at $20! (silence) $15? (still silence) $10? (crickets chirping) Címon guys, thatís how much the dinner at the restaurant costs!

Fanboy: (rises hand in air) $10! (people stare in disgust at him) What? I just want the dinner, thatís all! (gets attacked by surrounding fanboys) Ow! Right, you tell me you guys donít have the urge to touch that soft, golden hair-Ouch! Lettgo! I want my pretty boy!! Wah!! (carried out of auditorium)

Auctioneer: Whoa, that was freaky. If nobody else wants to bid, then I guess-

Millerna: $100!

Allen: (screaming) No, not her!! Please!! Iíll buy myself for $138. 42!! Please, thatís all I got on me!!

Dryden: (flashing a stack of bills) Youíre at a lost buddy! Iíd pay anything to get her away from me!

Millerna: Goody!! That means...$140!

Auctioneer: Going once, going twi-just forget it! Sold to the desperate princess twit!!

Allen: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! (runs away with Millerna chasing after him on her horse. [donít ask how it got there] )

Auctioneer: Next we have one of the many flame-throwers once owned by the infamous Dilandau Albotau! Bring it on out! (nothing happens) Urm, you can bring out the flame-thrower now...(still nothing happens, but a loud commotion is coming from backstage) Whatís taking so long?!

(Van drags out flame-thrower with Dilandau holding on to it kicking and screaming)

Dilandau: No! Donít sell ĎOld Flameyí! Heís mine!

Van: (trying to remove Dilandau from flame-thrower)Youíve got to repay the damages from your past battles somehow, Dilandau!!

Dilandau: But canít you sell something else?! This is my favorite flame-thrower!

Van: Thatís what you said about the last 671 flame-throwers we already had to sell!

Dilandau: Well, they were!!

Fangirl 2: Iíll buy it if Dilly-chan comes with the package for $50!!

Fangirl 3: Iíll buy him for $60!

Dilandau: Wait a minute, I never-

Fanboy: Never mind Allen-chan! $95!

Auctioneer: How did you get back in here?! Never mind, going once, going twice, goin-

Dilandau: No way! Burn you whackos! (grabs flame-thrower and burns whole audience)

Fangirl 2: Wow, I was burned to a crisp by Dilly-chan! I feel so special! (turns to pile of ashes)

Fangirl 3: We must be the luckiest people in the whole world! (also turns to pile of ashes)

Fanboy: Now Iíll never meet Gaddes-chan and the rest! (falls back burnt much to the relief of Gaddes and the Crusade crew)

Van: Dilandau, you baka! Whose going to buy our merchandise now?!

Dilandau: Oops. Maybe when FoxKids plays our show-Gah! What am I saying?! (runs off to fry some certain TV executives)

Auctioneer: Good night folks. Hopefully when you see me next, Iíll have a new career.

Un-random Insanity #2-Infomercial

Announcer: Have you and your friends ever wanted to learn the language of Gaea? To break free from conformist languages such as Ebonics and Swahili? Then this is the tape set for you: Gaeanese for Dummies! Youíll learn useful phrases such as, ďExcuse me, youíve burned my city to the ground and now I wish to kill you! Do you mind?Ē, as well as ďWhy yes, I do have wings. Would you like to see them?Ē, and the most important phrase of all, ďI think it just might be fate talking, but I love you!Ē

Yes, Gaeanese for Dummies is a great addition to any family, but it can be yours for the low price of five payments of $19.95. But if you call now, weíll add an extra payment! Thatís right! For six low payments of $19.95, Gaeanese for Dummies can be yours today! Call now!

Un-random Insanity #3-How to get Sugar-High by watching Escaflowne

1.) Make a pitcher of Kool-Aid or some other drink with high fructose levels and little or no real fruit juice.

2.) Gather all 26 Escaflowne episodes and settle for a long time.

3.) Down a glass of your drink when ever the following occur:

-Someone says ď-sama!Ē or ďlord!Ē (you can stop right now)

-thereís crystal glowing red and/or a blue pillar of light appears

-the word ďfateĒ is said

-feathers are floating in the air

-someone is jealous

-someone gets smacked

-blood flies into the air

-Hitomi has a crush on someone

-when a flashback begins, itís very confusing to the viewer

-you find yourself rooting for the bad guys

-someone almost dies, but is brought back to life

-someone plots to kidnap Hitomi

-Folken whistles the Fanelian song

-a city is on fire

-you think, ďWow, Van looks cute in dragon blood.Ē

-you want a tear tattooed to your cheek

-someone has wings

-you make nicknames for your favorite characters

-tarot cards are shown

-Hitomi gets a good vision (ha! youíre not drinkiní nothing!)

-Hitomi gets a bad vision (youíre gonna need a new pitcher)

-you admire the charactersí butts during inappropriate times

-Hitomiís cheeks are red

-Merle is in SD form

-you know whatís going to happen before it does

-someone says, ďThe Mystic/Illusionary/Phantom Moon?!Ē

4.) Enjoy seeing little Van-samas fly around your head as you bounce off the walls. If you were daring and old enough to use this as a drinking game, youíre probably died from alcohol poisoning 22 times now. Have a nice day. ^_~

Un-random Insanity #4-Escaflowne Song Parodies

Dilandau, Van, Merle (sung to Do, Re, Mi from the Sound of Music)

Dilandau, a pyro, a crazy pyro!
Van, whose kingdom was burnt down!
Merle, a talking cat-girl!
Hitomi, uses a pendant to get around!
Folken, fights for the wrong side!
Millerna, loves two guys!
Allen, thought his sis had died!
But fate leads back to...
(repeat until you pass out from lack of oxygen and intelligence)

Who let the Guymelefs out?! (sung to Who to let the dogs out by the Baha Men)

Who let the Guymelefs out? (who who who who?)
Who let the Guymelefs out? (who who who who?)
Who let the Guymelefs out? (who who who who?)
Who let the Guymelefs out? (who who who who?)

Everything was peace and quiet;
the crew on the Crusade were at a still.
But then mechas came a flyiní,
with every intention to kill.

And Allen shouted:
Who let the Guymelefs out? (who who who who?)
Who let the Guymelefs out? (who who who who?)

Allen hurried to get in Schezarade,
as Van got ready to go in Escaflowne.
But just as they left the Crusadeís hangar,
more guymelefs came out of the Vione.

And Allen shouted:
Who let the Guymelefs out? (who who who who?)
Who let the Guymelefs out? (who who who who?)
Who let the Guymelefs out? (who who who who?)
Who let the Guymelefs out? (who who who who?)

Un-random Insanity #5-Untitled







Urm, thatís for dealing with that. I had to get that out of my system. And guess what? Iím done!! Yeah!! Lookie, the weasels are back!! YAY!! O.o;; Please donít flame me; I mean no disrepect. PWEASE NO FWAMEY ME!! BYEZ!!^_~*