Whay My Dad Taught Me

My Dad taught me...

TO DO THE JOB RIGHT OR DON'T DO IT AT ALL.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. You weren't raised in a barn!"

My Dad taught me about INDIVIDUALISM.

"I bet if all your friends jumped off a bridge, you would too!

My Dad taught me about RELIGION.

"You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet."

My Dad taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your mother!"

My Dad taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My Dad taught me about LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

My Dad taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't exaggerate!!!"

My Dad taught me about IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll *give* you something to cry about!"

My Dad taught me about THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!"

My Dad taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My Dad taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

My Dad taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that food is finished!"

My Dad taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS.

"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

My Dad taught me about WEATHER.

"It looks like a tornado swept through your room!"

Thanks for teaching me about life Dad!


From Funny Greetings