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Movie #1 - Nani!? Assassination?!

A new day arrives. Birds chirp and sing. Mr Satan (Hercule) gets out of bed. He stretches and yawns in a roaring way.

Mr Satan: "YAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! What a day! Time to get to work!! But first... HERE, BOY!"

A small dog runs up to Mr Satan and stands, panting, seemingly, happily. Mr Satan puts on his goofy smirk and puts a leash on his dog. Together, they go out the door for a walk.

Mr Satan: "Well this is enjoyable! I never thought walking the dog would be so... fun! I always had Videl do it before... I could've done it! After all... I AM THE STRONGEST MAN ON EARTH! HAH HAH HAH!! HAH HAH HAAAAAH!!!!!!"

Mr Satan's maniacal/happy expression is replaced by one of shock. He groans and falls face-first on the ground. A small puddle of blood forms around Mr Satan's lower body as he just lies there. A shadow in the distance moves from sight as people start crowding around. Several remarks are made, then someone calls an ambulance which is seen two minutes later. The ambulance was near the scene and as soon as they heard it was Mr Satan, they made no opposing decision whatsoever to get to the scene as fast as they could.

***Capsule Corp***

Bulma: *Puts down a tray of glasses on the table* "It's nice of you to have stopped by on your way home, Soja."

Kakarot: "Eh, Bulma, I work here..."

Bulma: *Sweatdrops and smiles nervously* "Oh! Okay..." *She heads off for the kitchen*

Kakarot takes a drink from his glass and turns on the T.V.

News Reporter: #Now for this late-breaking news. World Champion Mr Satan has been shot and wounded--#

Kakarot spits out his drink and wipes his mouth, "Bulma, Crysta, Hayami, Rendus, come here quick!"

Bulma, Crysta, Hayami, and Rendus all run in.

Rendus: "What is it, bud--"

Kakarot puts his hand up to Rendus, shakes his head, and points to the T.V.

News Reporter: #... no word yet on the World Champion's condition, but we are on the case for you, our viewers. The police are conducting an extensive combing of the area to try and find the would-be killer, but they have not reported any leads as of late. *Looks aside and nods* We have video of Mr Satan's daughter Videl and her husband, Son Gohan, visiting the hospital. Show the tape, Bob.#

***The screen changes scenes to outside the Orange Star City Hospital***

Reporter: #Videl, any comments on this horrific crime? Do you know who could've done this, and more imporantly, why?#

Videl: #I'm sorry, I can't right now--#

Gohan: #Hey, a little space here please? She wants to see her father, YOU KNOW.#

All the reporters back off at Gohan's rather threatning request.

***Scene goes back to the T.V. studio***

News Reporter: #We here at Channel 733 will keep you updated as this saga unfolds.#

Rendus changes the channel, "This is boring, let's watch some WWF..."

Everyone glares at Rendus, then they are interrupted by another news cast. Rendus changes the channels frantically, "What??! This crap's on every channel!"

Hayami: *Folds his arms* "Well what did you think? He may not be important to us but he is to the world. They are all in a panic right now. I'll bet the International Channel has the same newscast going in all seventy-three different languages..."

Rendus and the rest: "... ... ..."

Bulma: "Well whoever did it is going to be sorry. After all, he is Videl's father, who happens to be married to Gohan, who happens to be a Super Saiyan too!"

Crysta: "I think we should look into this matter ourseleves. After all, you know what clodheads the police can be..."

Kakarot: "Yeah, I'm with her."

Rendus: "Aren't you always?"

Kakarot: "... shut up, Ren."

Rendus and Kakarot glare at each other for a moment, stick their toungues out, and turn their backs to each other, folding thier arms.

Crysta, Hayami, and Bulma sweatdrop.

In somewhat of an agreement, the Keep's Z Senshi take flight for Orange Star City, AKA, Satan City.

Crysta: "Rendus! Kill your energy trail! You'll give us away!!"

Kakarot: "Yeah, quit trying to be cool!"

Hayami: *Just glares at Rendus*

Rendus: "FINE! Sheeze..." *Kills the ki stream*

Everyone but Rendus veers off to the lower right in unison, as if in formation just for reader's effect. Rendus blinks at the others, "Hey, what are you DOING?"

Hayami simply points up in front of himself, 12:00 high to be exact. Rendus looks up ahead of himself. A military cargo plane looms less than 50 feet in front of him, and that is a very short distance between two objects moving at over 200 kmph at each other.

Rendus' eyes widen and he swerves off to the side, cursing loudly in a way only he can. The others sweatdrop as they watch the plane bank and turn wildly before aligning itslef once again. Rendus catches up to the others a few seconds later.

Hayami: "You idiot. You almost caused that plane to crash."

Rendus: "The plane?! What about ME??!"

Kakarot, Crysta, and Hayami: "... ... ..."

Rendus: "Oh, I see how it goes. I'll just turn back then.."

Crysta: "Go ahead. I doubt we'll need you anyways."

Rendus: "... ... hey, wait up!"

The four disappear in the dark night sky. Then, several arguments later, the quartet lands on the outskirts of Orange Star City. They duck low in the bushes and sneak around, led by Kakarot who is a master of stealth, as his profession requires it.

They peek out of the bushes and narrow their eyes, all as one, which is quite comical seeing them do it at the same time.

Crysta: "There are the cops..."

Kakarot: "There's Satan's house..."

Rendus: "... and there's a restaurant! I'm star--"

Hayami: "Quiet, fool."

Rendus: "... hey, look.."

A police officer walks out of Mr Satan's house and nods to another police officer, who is armed with an AK-47 Assault Rifle. They both run off somewhere as if they had found something.

Hayami: "Such an undeserving person, Mr Satan... he's proof that you can lie, cheat, and still become someone popular and great... in the general public's eye."

The others blink at Hayami and sigh. They look up at the house, Mr Satan's house of course.

Kakarot: "Okay, now if we go into Mr Satan's house I am sure we can find something... like a threat or clue.

Crysta: "What makes you think there'll be something so provacative and so UTTERLY cliche' as that in there, Satan's house of all places??"

Kakarot: "It was just a guess. In all reality, I don't know where to start..."

The group: *Sweatdrops in an uncomfortable silence*

Kakarot: "Okay, I see now... the area's divided into quadrants, which is perfect considering there are four of us..."

Rendus: *Raises his hand* "Question... what's a quadrant?"

Hayami, Crysta, and Kakarot fall over.

Kakarot: "A quadrant is a fourth of a square, you brain-dead quarter-Saiyan. You should've listened in Geometry, I swear..."

Rendus: "Ooooh..."

Kakarot, Hayami, and Crysta: -_-;;;;

Crysta: "Did you take stupid pills or what?"

Rendus: "I can't remember... is there such a thing?"

The others: "... ... ..." *Sweatdrop*

Kakarot: "We're never going to be any help if we don't start doing something! I--"

Police Officer: "Hey, you four!!!"

The Z Senshi Quartet sweatdrops.

Police Officer: "What are four suspicious characters like you doing sneaking around in a restricted zone?"

Rendus: "How did you know we were sneaking??!"

Crysta elbows Rendus hard, but much too late.

Kakarot and Hayami sweatdrop. -_-;; -_-;;

Police Officer: "You four are comin' with me on a little ride..."

The Quartet all, except Hayami who stays silent and stoic, grumble and file into the back of the police officer's car, which was parked outside of Mr Satan's house.

The police officer gets into the driver's seat and starts the car. Meanwhile, in the back of the car...

Kakarot: "Rendus, your damned elbow is in my face!"

Rendus: "Live with it, demon-boy!"

Kakarot: "WHAT??!"

Hayami: "Here they go again..."

Crysta: "Again."

Hayami and Crysta: u_u;; u_u;;

Kakarot and Rendus growl at each other.

Police Officer: "HEY, PIPE DOWN BACK THERE!!!"

Kakarot and Rendus glare at the officer.

Police Officer: "Oh, you're both gettin' in for this one..."

Crysta just folds her arms and crosses her legs the best way she can in such a cramped area, "Hey you two, quit before you get us in more trouble than we already are in."

Hayami glares at them both in a way that would make Kaio-shin, the Supreme Kai, shiver in fear. They both growl at each other, Rendus and Kak, then look in opposite ways from each other.

After an uncomfortably quiet drive, they arrive at the station. Kak, Rendus, Crysta, and Hayami file out again and are presented with their very own handcuffs each. Crysta scowls when the cuffs are put on her, Kak hmms thoughtfully, and Hayami goes quietly, unlike Rendus who keeps shouting 'It wasn't me!!!'. Trust me, that didn't help their case one bit.

***Hours later***

Bulma: *Folds her arms and scowls as the officer opens their cell door. Hayami puts away his ocarina while the others stand* "I told you guys not to get into any trouble! You know how much the bail was???! Vegeta is going to be pissed!!!"

Hayami: "Capsule Corp has enough money to give 700 million Zeni to every person on Earth and still have enough to buy a large planet. Relax, Bulma..."

Crysta: "Hayami is right (always, isn't he?) Grandma."

Bulma: "Well, I suppose... but it's the morals that count!"

Rendus hugs Bulma tightly, "Thank you thank you thank you!!!"

Bulma and the others sweatdrop, "Uhh, anytime, Rendus..." ^_^;;;

They all get out of jail and drive a fair distance away, to the bad side of town.

Bulma: "Okay guys, it's lonely here, so you can get off here."

Kakarot: "Thanks for the drive Bulma. We'll take it from here..."

The others nod, Rendus seeming to have learned his lesson.

Bulma: "Just be careful you guys.."

Hayami and Crysta: "We will, Grandma." *They look at each other, blinking, and shrug, following Kak afterword*

Just then, a gang of, well, a GANG happens out of the alley, grinning idiotically, "Hey you!" says the gang leader, "You're on our turf, and now you've gotta' pay up!"

Hayami steps forward, shakes his head slowly, and closes his eyes, "I wouldn't suggest it, weakling. Move along..."

Gang Leader: "WHAT??! You callin' us, members of Spark's gang, WEAK??!"

Hayami: "Oh, never... I'm calling you very weak."

The others, including Bulma, snicker. Crysta quirks just then.

Crysta: "Did he say Spark?"

Kakarot: "That punk from the tournament? Yeah... I can't think of another dumbass with such a stupid name..."

The Gang Leader growls, "You'll be sorry, boy!" With that, he swings a large wood club at Hayami's head. Hayami effortlessly puts up his right arm and clutches the bat in his hand. The Gang leader looks shocked, "Wha-- what??!"

Hayami opens his dark, blue eyes. He wrenches the bat and flings the gang leader aside. Calmly, cooly, he drops the bat and glares at the downed and frightened leader from the corner of his eye, "Now get out."

Gang Leader: "O-off him, boys!" With that, the entire gang of twenty people jump on Hayami. Just as fast as they do, Hayami throws them off.

Hayami: "Provoke me and I'll crush you. Now GET out..."

The Gang flees. "W-we won't forget this!" the gang leader shouts as he runs.

The rest golf-clap for Hayami.

Kakarot: "Now.. Spark, was it? He has a grudge against Mr Satan, doesn't he?"

Crysta: "He does..."

Rendus: "I think we have our man."

Hayami and Bulma both nod.

Kakarot: "Bulma, we'll take care of Spark.. just get home safely, okay?"

Bulma: "Are you sure...? Can you guys handle it?"

Rendus: "Of course we can! We are Super Saiyans after all!"

Bulma: "Well Super Saiyan or not, there are still some things... like GETTING ARRESTED."

The Saiyan Quartet: .;; _;; _;; u_u;;;

Bulma: "Well I'm off then. Be carefulllllllllllllll..........!" she echoes as she drives off.

Kakarot: "Sooo... *Looks at the run-down buildings* Shall we?"

Hayami, Crysta, and Rendus: "Right."

The Z Senshi proceed to split up and take four different buildings. They search high and low but find nothing. They all meet together at the spot on the street that they had gotten off on.

Rendus: "Find anything?"

Kakarot: "Nothing...

Crysta: "Zilch."

Hayami: "... ... ..."

A figure jumps into a car and speeds away in the background. The four heroes glare at the fleeing car.

Crysta: "Chances are that was him..."

They all look to the sky, sweatdrop, and take to the air, heading back to Mr Satan's house.

***Mr Satan's House***

Kakarot looks down at the scene, now inactive spare a few guards patrolling the area, "Maybe we can jack the mail..."

Hayami: "Why would you want Satan's mail?"

Crysta: "Maybe he's thinking that there was a late threat note in there or something. Spark isn't the quickest person on the planet."

Rendus: "Did you realize that all this trouble we've been going through is for Mr Satan?"

Hayami, Crysta, and Kakarot: *Sweatdrop*

Kakarot hovers low to the ground, not making a single sound. Quickly, he evicts the mail from the mailbox and phases away just as a guard looks in that direction. He fades in next to the others, who are on the opposite side of the slanted roof of the four-story house that belongs to Mr Satan, "Okay guys, here's his mail." He hands the handful of letters to Crysta. She sifts through them, bleh'ing at the five fan-letters there are and tossing them into the gutter. She pulls out one however. It's crinkled on the edges, yellow in some places because of being wet, and torn on the side, repaired by tape.

Crysta: "What a crappily enveloped letter... *She opens it; she starts reading it* Dear Mr Satan, you may know me, for you got lucky and defeated me at the Bodoukai. I'm putting you out of my misery soon... That's it. There's no signature, but we know who it is. Right?"

Kakarot and the rest nod. "Then Spark is our-- *Gets hit in the side of the head by a brick with a note attached to it* OWWW!!!" He blinks and covers his mouth, ducking quickly while he and the others sweatdrop.

The officers sweep the area around the house quickly. They stop and run inside the house to search it.

Kakarot: "Sorry guys.." ^_^;;;

Hayami picks up the brick and reads the attatched note, "Dear idiots, don't interfere in my plan, for you will suffer dearly should you decide to."

Crysta: -_-;;; "It's Spark."

Kakarot gets hit in the side of the head by another brick, "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" He grabs his head as Rendus picks that brick up, reading another attatched note, "Dear idiots, in fact, why don't you come to Orange Star High School? I'll see you there... if you show up."

Kakarot: "Kusotare! I'll gut him like a fish!"

Crysta: "Kak, calm down..."

Kakarot: "Right.. yeah... so let's go already!"

The Saiyan Quartet flies off. Minutes later, the alight on the roof of Orange Star High School. They look down, as one, at the front. Nobody there. They seperate and float down each side of the school, one side to each Senshi, and land lightly. They all enter the building through an entrance when they are greeted by a foolish, dorky-sounding voice from the intercom.

Mysterious Voice: #Bah hah hah! Welcome idiots! Honestly I didn't think you'd show! Why? Because I cannot lose this time! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAH!

Crysta: "Aww geeze, why doesn't he drop the Dr Tomoe act?"

Hayami: *Under his breath* "This guy is even more delusional than Mr Satan is..."

Rendus: "Mr Beanie? No, he didn't sound as dorky... Spark!"

Kakarot: "You idiot! There is only one place you could be brodcasting from! Baka..."

Spark: #Huh? There is?#

The Saiyan Quartet: -.-;; u_u;; -_-;; >_<;;

The four Saiyans run to the main office, only to face off with Spark, a little egotistical jerk who seriously thinks he's the greatest fighter in the universe.

Spark: "What took you?

Kakarot: "We--"

Spark: "SILENCE! YOU will BOW in PAAIN after this battle is through, although it won't be much of a battle due to my ULTRA-POWERFUL AUDIO-KI-DISRUPTION DEVICE!! It casts soundwaves at 20,000 mHz and will therefore DISRUPT your ki signatures upon hearing it!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAH!!!!!!"

Hayami: -_-;; "The normal range of hearing for humans is 20,000+ you idiot..."

Spark stops laughing and starts sweating all of a sudden. The Saiyans smirk coldly as Spark takes off running into the hallways.

They all disappear.

***In the Darkened Corridors of Orange Star High School***

Spark comes around the corner panting. He puts a hand over his chest and catches his breath under a staircase, "Haaah haaah... I need to get out of here...

A voice: #Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark.............#

Spark jumps and hits his head on the stairs, wincing, "Who--who's there??"

It turns out the voice was a snickering Rendus, using the intercom for malicious purposes. He talks into the intercom once again, "This is your--"

#--cemetary.............................# *The voice echoes in the halls ominously*

Spark's eyes widen and he whimpers. He starts to think about running for the door. Then, suddenly, a voice whispers from behind him, "Where is he?" it says.

Crysta's glaring eyes and evil smirk are shadowed by the sparse light in the area. She turns and smacks Spark right in the teeth with a backhand fist. Spark slams through a wall and gets up running.

Spark: "They..*pant* won't..*pant* take me..."

#... cemetary...!# the voice says, the words fading off like a hiss.

Hayami appears in front of Spark, smirking in the same cold way his cousin was. His eyes widen in fear... Hayami's knee comes up into Spark's stomach, which sends him through the ceiling and into the second floor.

Kakarot walks around the corner, his arms folded, "You could've taken the stairs you know. My gosh, humans, always doing things the hard way..." He smirks at him too.

Crysta appears beside the cowering Spark, putting her hand on his quaking shoulder, "He's no fun anymore.. let's just kill him."

Kakarot snickers darkly, "Okay then.." He puts his hand up, palm open. "Bye..!" His eyes widen and his smirk becomes a grin as he fires a blue energy wave from his hand. It hits Spark and slams him into a wall. He falls face-first.

Hayami appears. He walks up to Spark's still form and lifts his head with his foot by raising his chin.

Crysta: "He's dead."

They all think about doing to him what the Androids did to Gohan in Trunks' timeline. Rendus appears just then.

Rendus: "What, you guys killed him already? Gee..."

Spark: "Why...? Why are you doing.. *coughs blood and wheezes* .. doing this to me...?"

Kakarot: "Dr Ko created me for the purpose of world domination but that doesn't really interest me. No, not at all."

Crysta: "Put simply, we hate you Spark. Your existence angers us."

Spark gets to one knee. All the Senshi raise their right hand and level them at Spark, "You cowards!"

Kakarot forms his hand flatly, "Begone!" He starts charging a blast when Crysta appears in front of him, "Let me handle him... haaaaahh..!" She charges a ki blast over her head. She lets a moment pass, then throws her hands forward at Spark, "HYAAAAAAAH!" She fires a huge ki blast that explodes and takes out all of the second floor windows. Spark screams loudly and keeps screaming as the third floor windows shatter. The light fades and there is silence.

Kakarot: "Let's go home..."

Rendus: "Yeah, this is boring now..."

Hayami: "... ... ..."

The Saiyan Quartet fly out one of the destroyed rows of windows and head back home in West Capital.

Spark's body just lays there, not moving anything in any way.

***Morning Aftermath***

News Reporter: #... and so, doctors say that Mr Satan will indeed be alright. Now in other news, a bomb attack was made on Orange Star High School late last night at around midnight. Sources say--#

Bulma: "Well I will say this, you and your friends did a good thing, Crysta. It's just... the way you did it that bothers me." ^_^;;

Crysta: "Oh it'll be alright..."

News Reporter: #... it is also now known that it was the bomber who attempted to kill Mr Satan, the World Champion. He is now in prison and will be in court later this month. That is it for this newscast. This is Aro James signing off.#

Crysta raises an eyebrow in disbelief, "He survived that??!"

Bulma: "Oh easy, Crysta. Knowing the justice system, he'll be out in a couple of months, murder or not..."

***Meanwhile at Orange Star City Hospital***

Mr Satan: "WHAT?! Did you think they were going to take the champion down THAT easily??!! HAH HAH HAH! HAH HAH HAAAH!!!!-- OWWWWWW!!!!!! OW OW OW!!!"

Videl: "Oh dad, of course not." ^_^

Gohan: "Yeah.. heh heh, heh..."

***The End!!!***