Home - Ways
to Die in Science Classes
Ways to Die In Physics Class (by ldsgirl3000 and sliptide213)
- Be sucked into a black hole
- Be crushed by an incoming meteor
- Be sliced in two by an ultra-high pressure hose
- Shoot a high-powered rifle on top of Mount Everest, having it orbit the Earth once and hit you in the back of the head
- Resonate your heart to the point of stopping
- Cause your lungs to explode in a high pressure area
- Cause your lungs to implode in a low pressure area
- Turn the loudness of your stereo system up beyond the threshold of pain
- Travel straight into a wall at a very high velocity
- Reach absolute zero
- Increase the number of calories burned inside your body until you spontaneously combust
- Lose all energy due to the evaporation of your sweat
- When entropy reaches its maximum, time will stop
- Go snorkeling in the Mariana Trench
- 9.8 m/s² ... enough said.
- Do the words "terminal velocity" mean anything to you?
- The sun supernovas and we will be burned alive
Silver Lizard's Really Technical Ways to
Die in Biology Class and Lab
- Have your blood's pH decrease to 7 and become comatose
- Have your blood's pH increase to 7.5, letting your cells dissolve
- Become severely dehydrated, causing your cells to swell up and your heart to work extra hard
- Drink too much sea water... darn that osmosis!
- Wait for hydrogen and oxygen molecules to form some water because there's nothing else to drink...on second thought, you better not wait up for that!
- Consume more alcohol than your body's enzymes can detoxify and be poisoned
- Denature all of your body's proteins
- Go into oxygen debt from exercising too hard, causing your myoglobin to release oxygen which, in turn will slow down
Kreb's cycle, forcing your body to rely on glycolysis, and you will eventually run out of NADH... whew!
- Try to do lyonization with your genes when you are a male
(impossible since it requires two X chromosomes!)
- Ingest grains that are tainted with the toxins of Clostridium botulinum
- Have prions get on the surfaces of your neurons, causing degenerative diseases of the nervous system
- Become infected with either monkeypox or HIV, which will eventually overwhelm and destroy your immune system
- Become infected with the Ebola virus, having your internal organs turn to mush
- Eat meat that hasn't been cooked thoroughly enough to kill all the possible E. coli in it... so, who wants sushi or sashimi now?
- Overuse antibacterial products, which will cause the bacteria to gradually develop immunity to the products
- Two nasty little words: amoebic dysentery
- Be bitten by a tsetse fly that is a carrier of Trypanosoma cruzi
- Ingest feces-contaminated food or water that has Giardia lamblia in it, thus causing "explosive, foul-smelling diarrhea" as the textbook says
- Neglect to wash your hands, especially after using the restroom and continually allow your dirty hands to make contact with your mouth, eyes, and I believe you get the picture already...
- Be bitten by a female mosquito of the genus Anopheles, that is a carrier of malaria-causing sporozoans
- Become infected by almost any kind of sporozoan, for that matter!
- Eat large quantities of seafood that has been tainted with dinoflagellite toxins from a red tide
- Ingest large amounts of the byproducts of the Claviceps purpurea fungus, which will eventually cause you to develop gangrene
Ways to Die in Chemistry Class
- Cook spaghetti in a pressure cooker and stand over the pressure cooker, having some noodles get stuck in the vent while pressure builds and the temperature increases so much that the emergency release valve opens and noodles fly everywhere!
- Forget which beaker contains water and which one contains hydrochloric acid (HCl) and taste-test to find out
- Drink a strong acid
- Drink a strong base
- Break a mercury thermometer
- Two words: combustion reactions
- Get your body temperature up to 110 degrees (Fahrenheight)
Ways to Get Kicked Out of Chemistry Lab! (also by ldsgirl3000)
- Pretend an electron is stuck in your ear and insist on describing the sound to the people around you
- Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to your lab partner and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?"
- Consistently write 3 atoms of potassium as KKK
- Mutter repeatedly, "Not again... not again... not again!"
- When it is very quiet, suddenly cry out, "My eyes!!"
- Deny the existence of chemicals
- Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly as he/she pronounces it
- Casually walk to the front of the room and urinate in a beaker
- Pop a paper bag at that crucial moment when your professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid
- Show up for class with a 55 gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in federal buildings
Silver Lizard's Ways to Die in Meteorology
- Travel 30 km above the Earth's surgace to the top of the atmosphere, where there is no breathable air and be bombarded with solar radiation
- Travel 30 km above the Earth's surface, where you could simultaneously freeze to death and burn up from the few air molecules you would come in contact with
- Stay in the mesosphere without bringing any oxygen with you. There's more suffocation and freezing to deal with.
- Strip the Earth of its atmosphere so the days would be blazing hot, the oceans and all water would boil and evaporate, and the nights would be sub-freezing... as an added bonus, you get to be bombarded with even more solar radiation!
- Remove the carbon dioxide, water vapor, and the greenhouse effect from the atmosphere, which would lower the Earth's mean temperature from a comfortable 59 degrees Fahrenheight down to a chilly 0 degrees Fahrenheight.
- Have a very large hailstone that formed in a cumulonimbus cloud to fall on your head at a high velocity
- Climb to the top of some of Earth's tallest mountains without bringing any oxygen with you, which would cause hypoxia
- Try to do the National Weather Service a favor by tying a radiosonde to your hot-air balloon and go up into a mature thunderstorm that has become severe. That might produce some electrifying results...
- Spend a night at the South Pole... and you do remember their nights are 6 months long, extremely cold, and have we mentioned hypothermia yet?
- Repeat Benjamin Franklin's famous lightning experiment
- Face an oncoming EF-5 tornado and suddenly forget which quadrant has the strongest winds and plan your escape that way
- Stay outside as your area takes a direct hit by the right front quadrant of a Category 5 hurricane
- Stay outside while an intense area of low pressure goes by, not having enough sense to come inside out of the rain and thunder