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Why a Shinji-Rei Relationship Won't Work

One of my (least) favorite parts of Ryan's site, was the one that explained why Rei and Shinji were made for each other. Needless to say, his arguments were about as weak as tea.

I think I should point out, I don't dislike Rei. I like her characterization and depth as much as the rest of the main characters. I just don't think her role in Evangelion was that of Shinji's partner. Period.

Rei comes off as being cold and emotionless, but as the story goes on, you see her inner struggle to find her humanity. As a girl who's been raised in a cold, uncaring world, Rei doesn't really know anything about emotion. It's not until she meets Shinji that she begins to 'awaken'. Some people bring this up as being 'proof' that the two are in love. I think it has more to do with setting up Shinji's character.

Also, there's no denying the fact that Rei is a clone of Yui Ikari. Not only does this bring up the question of them being related, but it also explains why Rei would feel drawn to Shinji, Yui's Son. Ryan chose to completely ignore this fact in the following statements, which I think made a lot of them look really, well, for lack of a better word, dumb.

So now, that brings us to this page. Here, I took all the comments Ryan made on the subject, and simply countered them.

Also, I think I should mention, I don't like Ryan's style of constantly reiderating one point, and if you read on, you can probably tell. But here it is. I hope you find it informative.

If you have anything to add to the list, just e-mail me.

-Rei appears as a mirage early on; she’s the first person Shinji sees in Tokyo 3. This could mean a lot of things. 1.) Deja vu has been known to be a sign of love at first sight. When he sees Rei in the flesh later on, he will feel as though he’s seen her before.

  Rei is an enigmatic character. Her angelic nature as well as being a clone of Yui causes her to reach out to Shinji's subconcious. Deja vu doesn't necesarrily mean true love, so you didn't drone on the subject and neither will I.

-Rei is the “damsel in distress” whom Shinji saves in Episode 1. Hey, they had to get their clichés in somewhere.

  Did you ever think that this was simply to put Shinji over as someone who's willing to stick his neck out for someone in trouble?

  -In reference to that last reason, Shinji grows a temporary spine, piloting this big purple THING against some huge monster, just so that Rei won’t pilot and die.

  I could say the same thing about him jumping into the volcano to save Asuka (Which i will, later.) Or seeing Unit 2's head crash through the shelter driving him to seek out Nerv.

  -Shinji is gazing at Rei while he’s playing basketball and she’s swimming. He says himself that he wonders why she's always alone.

  Once again, Shinji is a nice person, and Rei is enigmatic. After he mentions it, Toji and Kensuke wonder the same thing. Are they in love with her too?

  -Shinji gropes Rei, if only by accident. Sexual tension, big-time. In addition, it has been suggested that the lack of clothing on Rei's part suggests emotional intimacy.

  There's nothing special about sexual tension. There's plenty of that between Shinji and Asuka, and Shinji and Misato. It's there to break up the monotony.

-Shinji fries his hands just like Gendo, in pulling Rei out of the entry plug after the Fifth

Angel. Just try and name one time he did something like that for Asuka

  Magma Diver.

-Shinji cries when he sees Rei is still alive after the Fifth. Although he is a wuss, I didn’t see him crying over anyone else (that includes Kaworu, Touji, Asuka, Kaji, etc.).

  He crys plenty for Asuka. Go watch End Of Eva.

-Rei smiles for him. Need I say more?

  I never said she didn't like him. They just don't love each other in a romantic way. Rei feels a strong Maternal draw towards Shinji. Not to mention that he reminds her of Gendo, whom she smiles for all the time.

  -Rei operates in perfect synch with Shinji during the synch training, even though she hadn’t been sealed in the apartment for days with him

  Rei has a more or less submissive personality, Asuka doesn't. At first her pride keeps her from working at Shinji's pace, while Rei has no problem. Plus, did you ever think about all the special abilities you Rei fans are so fond bringing up? (I don't know if you personally do, but many fanfic writers make her out to be supergirl.) If she has angelic abilities, wouldn't it be easy for her to moniter and match Shinji's pace and movements?

-Rei is walking with Shinji as the pilots are going to NERV. In a close-up shot of her, we see her eyes are on Shinji, instead of staring straight ahead like usual.

  You bring up moot points, I'll bring up old arguments: Her interest in Shinji is shown to be mostly Maternal in nature.

-Rei's eyes go to Shinji again while they're in one of the vents.

  Read above point, as well as the one before about liking each other. To quote Strike Fiss, Like is not Love.

  -Shinji says how he doesn't like being around other people. this is the very antithesis of Asuka's personality, since Asuka needs other people to verify her existence. However, it is very similar to Rei's personality.

  As clichéd as 'opposites attract' is, it's true. I've studied psychology, and I have a lot of first hand experience with both personality traits. (I'm manic depressive, I go from introvert to extrovert in waves.) Shinji and Rei are introverts. It's said that introverts cannot properly coexist because the over-all lack of communication, thus they would be a bad match. Likewise, 2 extroverts can't properly coexist because of constant competition. In conclusion, the pairing of and introvert and an extrovert is the most scientifically sound one. Boo-ya!

  -Rei answers Shinji's question, while ignoring Asuka.

  She doesn't like Asuka, what's your point?

  -Rei's monologue: When Rei asks who is there other than her, Shinji is the first person she names. Although she's known many other, higher-ranking people, such as Ritsuko and Misato, for longer, she still mentions Shinji first.

  It goes back to the maternal attraction thingy. Rei needs someone to connect with, and is drawn to Shinji. Or, you could say it's because she sees a younger, more ideal version of Gendo, who she holds in high regard.

  -Shinji actually STARTS a conversation with Rei. Not only does he overcome his introvertedness, he actually talks to the girl everyone else avoids. Not only that, but Rei responds, holding what passes for a conversation.

  The problem with these 'per episode' arguements is I'm forced to restate a lot of things. Shinji is a good person; he wants to reach out to Rei because she seems so lonely. She's mysterious, so he wants to know what's going on inside her head.

  -Shinji tells Rei she’d make a good mother. Who the hell says that to a girl you’re not at least a little interested in? To top it all off, Rei blushes at the comment (a damn cute scene if I ever saw one).

  Okay, I don't even know why you brought this up. This scene more or less cripples the argument. Rei reminds Shinji of his MOTHER! Sheesh.

  -While blushing in aforementioned scene, Rei says that Shinji is embarrassing her. How often do you think an Ice Queen like her feels embarrassed?

  So embarrassment means love? Wow, Doctor Ruth move over, there's a new love guru in town! Honestly now, her maternal instincts cause her to feel a sense of vindication when she hears those kind of things coming from Shinji.

  -Rei's on the plane that comes to pick up Gendo. She knew Shinji was nervous about meeting his dad, and came to see how he was doing. In addition, the sight of Rei looking at him gave Shinji the courage to call out to Gendo.

  Another really bad point. Rei follows Gendo all the time. Seeing Rei (if there is even a connection, which I won't say there is or isn't), causes him to call out to his dad because he sees that his father is capable of connecting with someone, which is what Shinji wants from his dad. He wants his dad to care for him the way he does Rei.

  -Shinji's looking at Rei's empty desk, apparently worried, when he sees Rei's absent again.

  We've been through this. You're not presenting me with anything new to work with.

  -Rei actually sounds worried when she hears Shinji being sucked into the Angel. It's a given that everyone else was afraid, but for Rei to show emotion like that really means something.

  My mom goes nuts every time I step into the ring. Rei worries about Shinji like a mother worries about her child.

  -Rei refuses to retreat, at least at first; she doesn't want to leave Shinji behind. Misato has to repeat her order to get Rei to leave. -Rei normally ignores Asuka, but while Asuka is slamming Shinji for getting absorbed, Rei is paying attention. Not only that, she actually looks annoyed.

  A mother bear will die to protect her cub. The same goes for humans. I'll get into Asuka's actions in that scene later. (Although, it should be noted that she wasn’t in any hurry to leave either.)

  -Rei takes it upon herself to stop Asuka while she's putting Shinji down. Remember the only time before this when Rei took independent action was when Shinji insulted Gendo, a person important to Rei. Asuka was insulting Shinji, and Rei again takes independent action. In addition, if you listen closely, you can hear just a hint of anger in Rei's voice.

  Of course, she does care about Shinji. But where, pray tell, is the definite romantic connection?

  -Rei is waiting by Shinji's bedside when he wakes up. She even compliments him.

  See above point. BTW, Asuka is waiting outside his door when he wakes up, but you didn't notice that, did you?

-Rei blushes again, when Shinji cleans up her apartment. She also thanks Shinji, this being the first time in her fourteen years (or whatever age she is) she’s ever said “words of thanks”. The first time anyone has helped her for the sole purpose of helping her (Gendo was trying to preserve his piloting pool when he saved Rei).

  So you're saying that Rei is a complete bitch, and nothing short of true love will make her say thank you? No? It sure sounds that way. Shinji WAS the first person to do anything really nice for her. So what? Shinji reaches out to Rei because she reminds him of Yui. To most other people, she's just a creepy girl that they have no reason to talk to. And no, Gendo helped Rei because he see's her as a link to Yui.

-The series shows that she's still thinking about Shinji and what he did long after he'd left her apartment.

  Rei spends a lot of time thinking, you ever think of that? I didn’t think so.

-Rei approaches Touji, one of Shinji's friends. This is one of the few times she does anything nice for the sake of being nice. Perhaps Shinji's making an impression on her.

  Ever notice that Asuka causes Shinji to be more aggressive? Perhaps she's making an impression on him.

-Touji guesses that Rei is looking for Shinji when she comes up to him.

  Well yeah, he knows that he's one of the few people that she talks to. You're grasping at straws here.

-Touji figures out that Rei cares for Shinji. She agrees. In contrast to his "husband/wife" comment about Shinji and Asuka, when he says this, he sounds completely serious.

  How often do others know what's going on between two people? And besides, he says she cares for him, not love. I know about a dozen people I care about, and would even die for. That doesn't mean I'm in love with any of them.

-Rei tells Shinji what happened at the test facility, instead of letting someone else (and someone more qualified and informed) do it.

  He wants to know, she tells him. Not to mention that on many occasions she officially passes information on to him.

-Rei, the girl who will do anything to succeed, hesistates before firing on Unit-03. She knows one of Shinji's friends is the pilot, and that Shinji would be hurt if Touji were to be killed.

  Now you're back to insulting Rei. Don't you think that just MAYBE, she hesitates because there's a human being in there and she's starting to develop a concept of the value of life?

-Rei's first line is, "how is Ikari?" She's worried about him.

  We've been through this one. YES she cares about Shinji! The rest of us got that point already, but you seem to want to drill it into our heads.

-During Shinji's train of thought, he is talking to Rei. She is a sight that calms him, and someone who he feels can help him.

  Of course. Rei is a symbol of wisdom, but then we're getting into the underlying theories around Eva, and since you haven't acknowledged them yet, I won't bring that up. Anyway, of course she's a calming sight! Look at her! She's a human quelude for cryin' out loud. Also, throughout the series, Rei gives Shinji advise at times, thus he associates her with wisdom. (Back to the underlying story, but this time it's justified.)

-Whereas when Shinji sees Asuka in his dream, she just repeats something she's already said, when he sees Rei, she says something original. Again, he wants her to help him.

  For the sake of explaining roles, I'm gonna break code and do some pro Asuka/Shinji work here. Rei is there to guide Shinji, thus he sees her that way. Asuka is Eve as Shinji is Adam. She isn't there to help him, she's his goal. She's there to challenge him, not help him along. (Note, this applies mostly to the movies and the 'mindfuck' episodes, where we see Shinji's subconscious view of things.)

-After an exceptionally long pause, Rei tries talking to Asuka. This is truly significant, because we've seen that Asuka and Rei do not get along at all. But Rei still tries to be nice, knowing that Shinji is also nice to Asuka. The pause was just to emphasize that this is not an easy step for Rei. Yet she takes the step, anyway.

  This made no point what so ever. In fact, once again you've supported the Shinji/Asuka pairing. I'll get back to that later though. Anyway, like Rei talking to Toji, this is evidence of Rei's development as a human, it has nothing to do with romance.

-Here we see the often-quoted line, "Does my soul wish to become one with Ikari's?"

  And the much less often quoted line, "...no." Honestly, although many people have said that she says "no", I didn't hear it, and I haven't seen the subtitled version or a fansub that had it. I've only seen it in a few synopsis’s and fansub scripts. So, I'm not going to quote it this time. But tell me, Does she say, "My soul wishes to become one with Ikari's."? No! Rei, like every other character in the series is racked with conflict.

-Rei blows herself up to protect Shinji during the 16th Angel’s attack. Please note she was not ordered to do so. In fact, she was ordered to pull back. How do I know she did it to protect Shinji? Easy: she didn't decide to self-destruct until after Shinji was in danger.

  Back to the 'Mother Bear' concept. She was willing to die to protect the one she was drawn to. Not to mention, "If I die, I can always be replaced..."

-The first person to appear to Shinji was Rei. She compares herself to Kaoru, saying "even though he was as human as me?" In associating herself with Kaoru, she could be saying that she, too, loved Shinji.

  But then we have to go into the Shinji/Kaowru relationship argument. As with Kaowru, love has many meanings. Do you love you parents or siblings? If so, by your logic, you are IN LOVE with them. It doesn't work that way. And the whole maternity argument comes back into play.

-Rei is the one who gets the line "and that is why we wish to become one," in talking to Shinji.

  So? Maybe Anno wanted to give Rei some air time since she doesn't get as much as the other main characters do by that point in the series. Plus, there's the 'we' in there. The whole scene is there to show how Shinji is confused about the three girls in his life. You're reading too much into that one little fact.

-Rei helps him, by resolving his dilemma, that no one sees the real Shinji.

  Rei = Symbol of wisdom. She Even guides Asuka at times throughout the series, or tries to at least.

-Rei of all people lectures Shinji on love: "If you truly hate yourself, you can never love, and can never place your trust in another."

  These scenes are all in Shinji's head. Rei is associated with guidance, thus she advises him. He wouldn't subconsciously turn to Asuka for advise on love because he knows she's just as confused as him.

-In the brief "alternate universe" scene, Rei is the one Shinji meets shojo manga style. Shinji looks instantly smitten when he gets a look at Rei.

  Well, she IS cute as far as anime girls go, right? You fail to mention that she plays a rather trivial part of his other world, whereas all the other characters are deeply rooted there.

-In the alternate universe, one of Rei asks Asuka if she and Shinji are involved. Perhaps she was interested in seeing if Shinji was available.

  AU Rei was a ditzy teenage girl created as comic relief (as all the AU characters where). And you failed (once again you ignore counterpoints) to mention how defensive Asuka gets in that scene, like she has a reason to keep another girl away from Shinji. (Like I said, none of this is relevant, but if you insist on bringing up moot points, I will counter them.)

The following are the EoE Points. I find this to be freakin' hilarious, since ALMOST THE ENTIRE MOVIE IS ABOUT ASUKA AND SHINJI!!!!!!!

Well, on with the show....

-Rei leaves Gendo, her master/creator/etc., in favor of Shinji.

  As Yui (Unit 1) does many times also. More of the maternity argument.

-Rei was Shinji’s wish, in her own words. She was the thing that Shinji, on the razor edge of sanity, wanted to see.

  Shinji's true desire in the series is to see his mother. In that aspect, he's like Gendo. Rei is comforting to Shinji because he sees her as an avatar of Yeti. And again, you simply left out the counterpoint rather that addressing it: In the final scene, Shinji recreates the world as he wishes it. And surprise, surprise, who is that by his side? Two hints. One: It ain't Rei. Two: It's Asuka.

-EoE : Geez, look at the position they’re in after 3rd Impact. Can you say, “sexual tension”?

  You notice that they aren't 'on' each other? They're kind merged. This has something to do with the merging of consciousness that humanity feels during the third impact. Also, note that Shinji is just laying there, as if waiting for Rei to get off. The dialog somewhat suggests this is the intended implication.

-Same scene : The one moment in a rather long time Shinji was anywhere close to being sane. Rei has reconstructed his mind, and we end up with a very tender scene, if you asked me.

  I'm sorry, but you missed the point by a thousand miles. In instrumentality, Shinji's soul is finally at peace, thus your 'tender scene'. but Shinji turns his back on this in order to return to his world with Asuka. (I go into the strangling bit later too.)