Author's Notes

I don't know what possessed me to write such a depressing fic. It's so out of
character for me. I got the idea when my good friend M.E. wrote a song fic for
"Auld Lang Syne". This song was on the same lyric sheet as the one I had for
"Auld Lang Syne". I thought it would be great for a depressing fic, and I was
going to give it to M.E. to write. Then I thought, "If she can write one, why can't
I?" Famous last words...

Anyway, none of the characters I used in this belong to me. They were
originally created by Yoshihiro Togashi. "The Parting Glass" is a traditional
song. I used a traditional song because I'm not up on "popular culture". These
are the only songs I really know that I have any hope people will know as well.
Anyway, enough of my blabbing.

The Parting Glass
By Rapunzel 

    Oh, all the money e'er I had,
          I spent it in good company
    And all the harm that e'er I've done,
          Alas, it was to none but me.

I stare down into my tankard, wishing there were enough in it to
make me forget what I've left behind. I can only hope that if I drink
enough, the pain will go away. But why should it go away? I was
asking for this when I let my guard down, let that sly fox get to me
and make me fall in love with him. I can't believe he actually made
me forget my own basic rule: never show emotion. Its an invitation
for someone else to hurt you.

Yukina made me forget that rule too. Sometimes I wonder how I
could not have loved my beautiful, gentle, kind twin. Yet that was
stupid too. I knew I'd lose her to that idiot of a human. I saw it
coming and there was nothing I could do about it. Even if I had
told her I was her brother, it wouldn't have made a difference.

    And all I've done for want of wit
          To memory now I can't recall.
    So fill to me the parting glass,
          Good night and joy be with you all.

I had to leave. I'd have gone insane if I had stayed. How could I
stay in a world I have never understood and watched my beloved
marry someone else? The two reasons I stayed in Ningenkai as long
as I did were both leaving me to get married. I still feel bad that I
didn't stay for Yukina's wedding, but it was after Kurama's, and
staying for one would mean staying for both. I couldn't do that. I
might as well have run myself through on my own blade; it
probably would have hurt less.

    Oh, all the comrades e'er I had,
          They are sorry for my going away.
    And all the sweethearts e'er I had,
          They'd wished me one more day to stay.

Leaving hurt too. I've never seen Kurama cry like he did on that
last day. He and the others begged me to stay, but that wasn't
possible. Even though I knew that Kurama still loved me, that he
was only getting married because his mother insisted, I couldn't
stay. I think he understood that. He's always understood me
completely, and he's probably the only person who ever has.

I think the others understood too. I've never told any of them
except Yukina about my relationship with Kurama, but I think they
knew anyway. Some things are hard to hide, especially from those
who know you well. They just told me they wished me well, even
Kuwabara. I wish them well too, especially since it's very likely I
will never see most of them again.

    But since it falls unto my lot
          That I should rise and you should not,
    I gently rise and softly call,
          Good night and joy be with you all.

Some of the patrons nearby are staring at me, and belatedly I
realize that I have been simply staring into my cup with a blank
look on my face for the past several minutes. I pause to take
another gulp of the liquor and try once again to forget the
circumstances that lead me to be sitting here in a Makai tavern
trying to get drunk. Damn, this isn't working. I wonder how
Kurama is doing. I hope he isn't too distressed that I left. I don't
want him to be unhappy. 

Besides, it's only for another seventy years or so. Then Minamino
Shuuichi will die and Youko Kurama will return to this world,
where he belongs. Then no ningen woman will have any hold on
him. Maybe if I just keep telling myself that for the next seventy
yearsƒ Abruptly, I get up and leave the tavern. Sitting still that
long was a mistake. If I don't have anything to do, my mind
wanders back to the day I left, and the old would starts to bleed
again. I wonder, will it ever stop? Perhaps it will, when Kurama
returns to me.



© 2000. Rapunzel. Do not reproduce any part of this document with out Rapunzel's express permission. "The Parting Glass" is a traditional song. No part of YYH belongs to Rapunzel.
Rapunzel can be contacted at rapunzel800@hotmail.com.