So Far Gone Chapter One E-mail: SireneCall@hotmail.com By: Lois Fogg All right, this is my first fanfic. Whew! Glad, I got that one over with. If I were you I wouldn't run away, some of the best fanfics I've read have begun with those self-same, oh so infamous words. Well anyway, if you dislike it, you can e-mail me and laugh at it, if you like it (oh please, oh please...) you can tell me that too! Any E-mail would be nice, because it'll help me to decide whether or not to keep this story going. Anyway, about the story itself. This takes place directly after the episode where Safiel dies (sniffle..sniffle...) which is in the last 17 episodes of Sailor Moon R, which weren't done in the NA dub. Even those of you who haven't seen it, this shouldn't be too hard to understand, it's basically a year after their breakup. Which brings me to my final point: this is a breakup fic, yes, but again don't run away. I know a lot of them are really bad and redundant, but I am endeavoring to make this one a bit more original with a nice twist I have up my sleeve (you've got to wait and find out though, it doesn't appear in this chapter). All right, I've babbled on long enough: Hope you enjoy! ****************** Apparently, he loved her. Or at least that's what he said, floating a couple of inches above her with a grim expression on his face. Of course, Demando had said that many times before but this time, for some reason, Usagi believed him. She could do nothing about it of course. She didn't love him and he was, after all, her sworn enemy. As a matter of fact, he had been their sworn enemy since nearly a year ago. The battles seemed to continue interminably while his odd courtship of Usagi/Neo-Queen Serenity continued. Usagi had grown rather cynical about love in that year, desperately needing any indications of love from one end of her life and receiving them, unsolicited, in another. Now, he stood in the wake of a vanquished youma, and Usagi had the strong suspicion that he had simply provided one so he would have an excuse to talk to her. Although his powers of hypnosis had never been able to force her to fall in love with him, they still were able to root her in place, which was why she was staring up at him, helpless, and angry. "I love you. I will not rest till I can have you." Demando said angrily, thoroughly tired of Usagi's resistance to his advances. I will not rest till I can have you...how much she wished another would say that, but that was for another day and time; she steeled herself. Mamorou wanted her to be strong, he had said that he couldn't stand childish crybabies like herself. She would show him, she told herself, and felt the supportive presence of the other senshi, her closest friends, behind her. "It is useless, Demando, you can't have me-no one can. You have no idea what love is!" She screamed at him, pouring all of her other thoughts and emotions she had felt in the past year into her speech. "You think it's an object, something you can manipulate and create whenever you think you want it. You see a pretty face, decide it must be yours and call it love. Well guess what! It's not. NO ONE can tell me who I love but myself. My love is forever, and it's certainly not for you." Her eyes held a dangerous sheen to them that her friends, had they been in a position to look at them, would have recognized immediately to be the signs of oncoming tears. It was strange, but somehow, as she had told him-for the first time actually-exactly what she thought of him and his 'courtship' of her, she had had this odd premonition that everything they had worked for was coming to a head. Demando's eyes held a fury of insanity, and had she not been enthralled by his hypnotism, Usagi would certainly have stepped back a little. "I understand you perfectly. Be it far from me to pursue you when I obviously have no chance. However," And at this word all five of the scouts held their collective breaths, "I will not allow one to live who has insulted me, and made a ruin of my love!" He screamed the last words, and as he did so, hurled a blast of energy directed towards all the senshi, but mainly at Usagi. In the split second it had taken him to gather his power for the energy blast, his powers of hypnosis had broken, but the time had not been enough for Usagi to do more than turn towards the other senshi. Then the blast hit. It hurt, but not so badly as others she had been through; it was obvious that Demando was simply warming up. As Usagi struggled up from her position, prostrate on the ground, the appearance of a rose that never failed to send Usagi's heart straight into her mouth stopped his onslaught for the moment necessary for Sailor Mars blast him. Sailor Moon glanced up at Tuxedo Kamen, gaining strength from the mere knowledge of his presence. I love you, she whispered silently to herself, since she could not say it to him. She turned her attention back to Demando, who, it seemed, had deflected Rei's attack with ease. Sailor Venus and Mercury followed, but nothing seemed to penetrate what seemed to be a wall of sheer power surrounding him. Even Jupiter's thunder dragon did nothing to damage it, as he sat there, laughing maniacally. Usagi was alarmed at the change in him, even though he was her enemy, Demando had always had a streak of humanity in him that had somehow endeared him to her. Now, she wondered if he had gone mad, the tone of his laugh was so new. "Moon Princess..." She screamed. Even though she liked him, the time had come and she had a job to do. But before she could scream 'halation', he spewed forth another blast of sheer energy, this time directed solely at her. If his previous one had hurt, it was child's play compared to the magnitude of the wave rolling towards them. Tuxedo Kamen sprinted in front of her and engulfed her in his arms draping his cape around her, the second before the blast hit. Usagi had no time to process it all-she only knew that she felt happier in that instant than she had been for over year. As the wave rolled over them and seemed to beat her into a million tiny pieces, she was aware of only one thing: the faltering heartbeat of her beloved and the scream that left his lips as he collapsed on her-proctecting her till the last. Luna and Artemis stared in disbelief at the scene before them. After a year of playing cat and mouse (no pun intended), Demando was finally coming out. However, their initial elation changed degree by degree to horror as they saw each and every attack the senshi threw deflected with ease by the laughing madman. They had had no idea he was so powerful. When the crushing, killing blast came towards Usagi, they stared in disbelief. They saw Tuxedo Kamen's split second move to save her. Just before the blast hit Luna hid her eyes, Artemis awkwardly snuggled closer to her, trying to comfort her. There was nothing more they could do. After what seemed like Eon's, Usagi realized that the horrendous pain was gradually receeding. Something was on top of her, she realized. When her pain fogged brain remembered what it was, she struggled up frantically, gently turing her Mamo-chan on his back. Quickly she grabbed his wrist and searched for a pulse. After an inerminable moment when it seemed that her own pulse had stopped, she found traces of his, faint but unmistakable. Tears sprung in her eyes as she stared at his slack face. Emotions which naturally were strong surged up in her belly like a hot spring, and she struggled up of the ground, anger, pain and fear seething in her heart. The senshi were lying unconscous behind her, having been knocked out by the remainder of the blast. The only reason she remained conscious was Mamorou's intervention. "I will not for give you." She said weakly, slowly reaching for her moon rod. "In the name of the moon, you will pay for this!!" Demando had tried to hypnotize her before, had actually done it many times, but never before had she done it to him (at least not intentionally). Staring at him with her fathomless blue eyes he seemed to forget all else he was doing, caught up in her, as she had known he would be. Before he realized what was going on she raised the moon rod. "Moon Princess Halation!" She shouted, and before he had any chance to react, still held in thrall by her eyes, he received her attack head on, its power fueled by her anger toward him. "It's not over!" He screamed, and vanished before her eyes. Suffering from emotional, physical and sensory overload Usagi collapsed, which was the instant, ironically that a much confused Rei came to. The other scouts came to soon afterward and looked at the scene before them. "Sailor Moon!" Minako, a.k.a. Sailor Venus exclaimed and sprinted toward the pair who were separated by only a few feet. The others quickly followed suit. Having reassured themselves that their beloved Usagi was still alive and kicking they turned to Mamorou who, it seemed, was in not quite so good shape. "Where's Demando?" Jupiter demanded angrily, wanting revenge for her fallen friends. Mercury, having already turned on her computer and visor said with a sense of awe in her voice, "According to my calculations, he's already dead. It seems Usagi killed him with only her Moon Princess Halation." The other's stared at her in awe. "Isn't that impossible?" Ventured sailor Venus. "Apparently not." Said Rei. "Wait...she's coming to!" Makoto said eagerly. Usagi groaned faintly, and then opened her eyes. The world seemed to be spinning, but gradually it ground to a halt. Gingerly, she sat up, glad for the regenerative powers of her suit. A niggling question in the back of her mind popped with utmost urgency to the surface as she viewed Mamorou's figure next to her. "What's happened to him?" She asked frantically, staring from one to the next. "He was injured badly by Demando's attack, Usagi. His powers as Tuxedo Kamen are helping him to regenerate, but..." Ami trailed off, as unsure of what to do as the others were. Obviously, without him conscious to power down, they couldn't very well take him to a hospital. "Wait," Mercury offered, an idea having flashed in her mind. "I don't really want to bring my mom into this...but she has this assistant, his name's Motoki, I think we could trust him, and he's really brilliant. Actually , Usagi, don't you know him?" Usagi wondered if this could be the one and only Motoki she had desperately worshiped during her arcade days. "Yeah, I think so." She said simply and turned back to Mamorou. Her heart seemed to be falling out of its chest her fear for him was so great. Perhaps he didn't love her anymore, but the truth was that she was still as helplessly in love with him, if not more so, than she had ever been. She knelt down beside him and felt his pulse, which she imagined was somewhat weaker than it had been before. Oh god, Mamorou, please don't die, she begged silently, tears coursing down her face. The other senshi slowly backed away from her, sensing her need for some privacy. Luna and Artemis joined the other senshi. "Ami," Luna was saying, "go with the others to get Motoki, Artemis and I will stay with Usagi." They all nodded and bounded off, with the unnatural speed that came with being a sailor senshi. Usagi was startled when he powered down infront of her, and realized with a growing sense of dread, that the only reason he could have done that unconsciously was if he had been too weak to sustain that form. By the bright moonlight she saw his normal clothes, and the deep bruises that covered his body. She held his hand-and was bitterly aware of the irony: she had wished to simply hold his hand so often and now, she had received it. She didn't want it. As she waited for the other's to come back, knowing each second could mean her beloved's life, she thought of what he had done for her. He didn't love her, at first she hadn't believed it, and even now she had her doubts, but as he had persisted in the lie for a year she had begun to believe it against her will. Why else would he ignore her unless absolutely necessary, insult her constantly, and do everything else in his power to make it perfectly clear that he was not in love with her. He had called her a crybaby, said that she was the weakest person he knew. She had tried, God knew how hard she'd tried to be strong for him. She knew she hadn't suceeded. After all, if she had, would Mamorou be lying here before her, almost dead, because he had to save the klutzy moon princess once again. She knew, or thought she did, that the only reason he had saved her life was because she was necessary to the future as Neo-Queen Serenity. Still...there had been something in his embrace, in the split second they had had between the two moments, that she had felt the old tenderness. She dismissed the idea-her longing for him was pathetic, but she couldn't help it. She felt empty without him, and he did not love her. Please don't die, she pleaded again; and lowered her head gently onto his chest and cried what seemed like her soul away. ************* I'll probably finish Chapter Two by next week. Until then...Stay tuned!! (And e-mail me!)