Zechs joined his wife outside of the door, gaping as he looked through the now open portal.

Hilde had tied Duo up to the bed using the velcro bindings.. and she was riding him. Her body was stiff, a scream ripping from her lips, and she collapsed on top of him. Duo quickly followed, His body arching into the air as he spent himself into her warm body.

::::Damn brats!:::: Zechs thought, then said dryly, ”I hope you two are satisfied.”

From behind him came Heero and Wufei, enjoying his discomfort.

“Satisfied ain't the word...” Duo said from the bed, a dazed expression on his face. His mouth formed the silliest grin he had ever seen, and his braid was tied around the headboard keeping his head in place.

Zechs shook his head, wondering where they got these ideas..

“I’ll meet both of you in the library in ten minutes.” He said, grabbing his wife’s arm and ushering her out the door. He stopped, considered the two of them, and shook his head. “Make that five minutes.”

From the corners of Noins lips, he could tell that she was about to lose it as they started down the hall.

“Zechs.. don’t be too hard on them. After all, we were their age when we started to get physical.” She grinned, remembering some of those sessions in the parade grounds.

“Noin, I don’t think we were ever that...that...” He couldn’t say the word. Seventeen year olds were NOT supposed to be so educated.

“Do I really have to remind you about your food fetish?” She teased, “I seem to remember some stolen jelly and peanut butter that you took out of the officer‘s mess. And.. what about when we played war criminal?”

“That was different! We were soldiers!”

“Zechs.. SO ARE THEY!”

“Grrr... They WERE soldiers.. now they are just oversexed teenagers. Oversexed teenagers using MY HOUSE for their love nest!”

“Well, at least they’re not messing around in some seedy motel room.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” He asked, walking into the library.

“No, but it could be worse. Just keep that in mind, will you?”

“Maybe if I sent them to a boarding school... on opposite ends of the country.”

“Won’t work.. they both know how to fly, and it would be way too easy for Duo to steal an airplane.”

“Chastity belt?”

“They don’t make them anymore.”

“Lock them in their rooms?”

“Fire hazard.”

“Can we drug their food?”

“Nope.”

“Dammit! What can we do?” Zechs was pulling his hair out, literally.

“Put Hilde on birth control, and hope she’s not already pregnant.”

“Oh don’t even joke about that!”

“Look, we have them living here, going to school, following all the rest of the rules.. Give in.”

“And what about Heero and Relena? Hmmm?”

“If you haven’t noticed.. Relena isn’t speaking to Heero right now. Solve one problem at a time.”

“Noin, I am not giving up. If I let them get away with this.. then what’s next? Will Wufei start going on Preventer missions? Will Heero start blowing up buildings? No.... I have one more option.”

Noin looked sharply at her husband, suddenly unsure of his mood. He was smirking, a triumphant leer that may or may not have been a sign of him losing his mind.

“What are you going to do?” She asked.

“My love, what is the one place that Duo would rather die than desecrate? More particularly... where do the women who dedicate their lives to the catholic church live?”

“A convent?” she asked, not understanding where he was going with this.

“Hmmm... a convent school in New York... The so called God of Death wouldn’t DARE enter into those gates!”

“Your sending Hilde there?”

“No!! I don’t have to.. all I have to do is threaten to send her, and they will both start to listen to me.”

“Zechs.. you are asking for trouble.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Psst! Hilde! You there?” Duo whispered from the tree outside Hilde’s window. Zechs had yet to figure out how to reset the booby traps.

“Go away, Duo.. I’m sleeping.”

“C’mon, Babe! Open up!” Duo begged, shivering in the tree.

Hilde sat up, throwing the covers off just before marching over to the window. Glaring at the boxer-clad God of Death, she smirked, and slammed the window down the rest of the way before locking it.

“I’m not catholic, Duo.” She said, going back to bed.

“He’s bluffing, Hilde! I know it!” He insisted through the glass.

“I’m not taking any chances! Look, just give him a couple of weeks to calm down before we push him again, ok?”

“WEEKS? Are you crazy?” He yelped.

“No, I’m not crazy. I just don’t feel like going to a convent school because your a horny goat! Now, go buy yourself a jar of Vaseline, ‘cause it’s the only girlfriend you’ll have for a while.”

She turned away from the window and pulled her pillow over her head to muffle his curses. A moment later, she heard a loud crack, then a crash as her boyfriend fell from the tree onto the ground below. Groaning, she reached over and turned off the bedside lamp. Duo was on his own.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“C’mon, Heero! There has to be something we can do!” Duo whined, as the perfect soldier ignored his existence.

“Oh, I can do plenty, but I won’t.” Heero finally acknowledged. “I am right where I need to be.”

:::Childish, am I?::: The pilot thought, smirking. :::We’ll see who’s childish, Relena!:::

Ignoring Duo, Heero picked up the phone and dialed a phone number. A stunning brunette answered the vidphone, smiling widely when she seen who was calling.

“Hello, Heero!” She squealed, batting her lashes just a bit.

“Vivian... I was wondering.. would you like me to take you to the Valentines day ball?”

“Oh! That would be wonderful! But.. aren’t you dating Relena?” Vivian asked, confused at the turn of events.

“No, not anymore. I’m a free agent, so to speak. I’ll pick you up six?”

“Of course! See you!”

“Goodbye.”

(click)

Duo stared at his friend, shaking his head in disgust. “Heero, ol’ Buddy.. you are an idiot. Relena is going to draw blood, and you know it!”

Heero merely shrugged, smirking as Duo got up and left. One way or another, Heero was determined to bring Relena to heel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wufei was in the garden, meditating. There must be a way to get out of this ignoble situation! He was a warrior! A grown man in his now defunct clan! There had to be a way to convince the council that they didn’t need Zechs’ guardianship!

A familiar footstep tread on the stone path, listening closely, he identified it as Duo’s. That Idiot, Maxwell, was determined to disturb his peace. Sighing, he got up, knowing that sometimes it was easier to just hear him out. He left quicker if you didn’t argue with him.

“What do you want, Maxwell?” He asked in a long suffering tone.

“Hey, Wu! I was just wondering.. Have you figured out how we can change the council’s mind, yet?”

“No.”

“Oh... Not an inkling of an idea?”

“Duo, why must I repeat myself? I don’t know! If you leave, I MAY be able to think of one.. but not with you jabbering in my ear!”

“Well, hell! You don’t have to yell!” Duo stomped off, once again looking for a sympathetic ear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Duo.. I have a proposition for you.” Zechs motioned the young genius over, trying to remain nonchalant as he spoke.

“What now? I can sleep with my fiance’ if I let you neuter me?”

“Don’t be churlish. I have your best interest in mind. Look, You agree to go to college.. and I’ll see what I can do about letting you live on campus.. away from my house.”

“College?” He asked, unprepared for the offer.

“Hmm.. think about it.. keggers, nearly naked women, fast cars, spring break..” Zechs allowed his voice to go deep, tempting his young protege’ into taking him up on the offer.

“Hangovers, Hilde beating me up, more term papers, and, of course, the college would be on the other side of the country?” Duo stated, letting his guardian know that he wasn’t fooled.

“Well, yes, the one I was thinking of is pretty far away, but it has an excellent engineering department. Imagine what you could learn there!”

“Hmmph! Imagine what I could teach the professors!” He scoffed, still not taking the bait.

“How about if I throw in a generous allowance?”

“How about if I can go to my OWN home during semester breaks.. with Hilde, and access to my own money?”

“No. You aren’t allowed off planet until you are 20. The councils rules, not mine. I can, however.. set you up with a little cottage near campus, with Hilde visiting during breaks. Of course, you can’t have access to your money, but I can give you an allowance.”

“Desperate to get rid of me, aren’t you?” Duo asked, boldly looking up at Zechs and arching his brows in question.

“Let’s just say that I will welcome a full nights sleep.”

“Alright, then. In the meantime.. I want you to petition the council to emancipate us. This whole thing has gone on long enough. Oh, and keep an eye out for Heero. Relena might try to kill him after the Valentines day ball. Other than that.. when do I leave?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh my! Stay tuned next time for Heero’s catastrophe! Duo in COLLEGE? A nice little cottage near campus? Hilde all to himself during semester breaks? Oh boy! There COULD be a real lemon in the future, people!!!

And meanwhile.. What will Wufei do? Spend the next two years meditating in the garden, or planning to REALLY show the woman true injustice?

Hmm.. maybe two lemons...

till then, Ja!

Leeko