The moon is full, my arms are empty,
This can't be happening. It just can't! I won't let it!
And yet, I still see him leaving.
And yet I still hear him saying goodbye.
You always said the day that you would leave me,
I can feel tears running down my face, but they just don't seem like a reality. As if they aren't really there. They can't be! Why should I be crying? He hasn't left. He can't have left! I need him!
Your bags are packed, not a word is spoken.
And yet, the silence that lives all around…that lives within me, has almost convinced me.
Convinced me that he's really gone. My head knows…but my heart won't believe. And yet, at the same time, my heart knows, and my head won't believe.
Time moves so slow and promises get broken,
God, I need him! I love him! I can't live without him! Is it that so hard to see? Couldn't he tell how much I cared? Did I not show it enough? Or did I show it too much?
So confused…I don't even know if I can think clearly…
But why should I even try to think? He's gone. He's never going to come back.
I can feel it.
Suns coming up, coming down on main street
~*Flashback*~
"Sora…" Tai's voice trailed off into nothingness.
I looked up. "Yeah? What is it?"
Without a word, he walked over to me. Took my face in his hands. Closed his eyes as if to block out the reality of what he was about to say.
It frightened me. He was trying to deny something. But what?
Head in my hands, here I am standing in my bare feet,
Without a word, he gently lowered his lips to touch mine, sending shock waves rocketing through my body. Without thinking, I reached my arms up to encircle his neck.
But he pulled away. Forcefully…hastily, even. Hostile.
"It's over," he whispered. He looked as if he wanted to cry. "It won't work."
And with that, he left.
You said that we were gonna last forever
"I know he loves me!" I can hear myself scream. "So why did he leave? I know he loves me! We were so happy together!"
Nothing seems real. Nothing is a reality. Everything is fake. It has to be! In a few seconds, I would wake up and find that it had all been a dream.
Right?
It looks like spring, and it feels like sunny weather
I threw myself onto my bed. I hardly felt myself land. After all. It wasn't a reality.
I felt that I could feel nothing. And yet, I felt every emotion, coursing through my veins with a burning sensation at the same time.
And all I could do is ask myself why?
Suns coming up, coming down on main street
Why would he leave when I knew that he loved me? Did he not know that he loved me? Was he unsure of it? Maybe. Maybe it would just take him a few days to work it all out…to realize that we were meant to be together.
But how could I live for…for days…not knowing if that was true? I wouldn't be able to stand it! I needed to know! I needed to know if I was right…if he really did love me! I needed to know why he had left!
Head in my hands, here I am standing in my bare feet,
But I didn't know why.
One thing I did know, however, was that I was wrong. He wouldn't be coming back. I could feel it. In my heart, in my head. And I was filled with pain. Filled with pain right from the very tips of my fingers to the very center of my bones. And of my heart.
He wouldn't be coming back. The look in his eyes had told me that…sad, yet determined.
The moon is full, and my arms are empty,
"Please," I can hear myself murmur. And I'm surprised. Because now, it does seem like a reality.
And I knew that I had made the transition. The transition from that dreamlike state of denial, into reality…and even acceptance.
You always said the day that you would leave me
But no! NO! I would never accept it! It wasn't right! We were meant to be together! I knew it! He knew it. He had to! He had to.
Because I would never accept it. If I lived out the rest of my life in denial, then so be it. I wouldn't accept it. Because I loved him. And I would never stop loving him.
Here comes that cold day in July
I felt myself shiver. I was cold…so cold…and, for once, Tai wasn't there to keep me warm.
But heaven help me, I would change that. I needed him. I couldn't live without him. If it were the last thing that I ever did on Earth, I would fight it. I would get him back.
Because that's what love was. Determination never to give up…let go.
And, heaven help me, I wasn't going to let go.
Not even on what seemed like a cold day in July.