In Loving Memory of
August 1st 2005 to October 21st 2008
So sadly missed by Laura Pajot and Rita Blankenship
dx-ed Renal Dysplasia 2006,
for more information B-G Dog ID = 29927
Gone from us at barely 3 years old.
Shortly after Koko's 3rd Birthday in August, I noticed the paleness of her gums was worse and in some areas they were grey and breaking down. Koko's kidneys had finally gotten so bad that no matter what we did the toxins built up in her blood making her so ill. For 6 weeks we tried all we can, wonderful forward thinking modalities. She continued to be a happy girl, more tired, breath stinking, but her normal happy self. In the last weeks she started refusing foods. She wasn't able to jump up on the bed anymore by herself. She hated the force feedings, crushed/liguified pills squirted in her mouth and doing the subq fluids, but put up with them for me. Eternally trusting and loving me.
We wanted to give her miraculous body a chance to steady out. But when nothing actually helped her kidneys to stop their decline, it was time to look at who was I doing it for. Everything we had tried to stabilize her kidneys and stop the decline didn't work. All we were doing was extending her time. Time that was increasingly becoming unendurable. Her kidneys had done all they could and just couldn't try anymore. So we continued what easy palliative care helped her to feel better for now and stopped the ones she hated. It was a waiting game. It didn't take long. It was time to again say goodbye to another furred spirit that means the world to me. The vet was wonderful, Koko was ready. She went easily into that other life. I had held it together for her and told her it was okay to leave me, that it was her time and she would be happy and free of her malfunctioning body. No pain, lots of energy, everything she could wish would be hers. That I was okay and loved her, but she didn't have to fight to stay with me anymore. But after she was gone I lost it, and howled for my little girl that was taken too early. Taken too early by puppy mill breeders that did not care what their short sighted "production plants" would do to the people that loved that puppy product. And who didn't care how difficult and short a life that puppy would have.
I will never forget you, Koko. You were with us for only 2+ years, and yet it felt like a lifetime of many years. Full of wonder and fun, cuddles and Berner Leans. You were there for me through many difficulties, surgeries, and disability. And I was there for you and your difficulties too.
All you asked was respect, lots of hugs, and belly rubs.
You didn't care that the vets said you wouldn't make it to your 2nd birthday and had doubts about even 18 months. But you and I, my girl, proved them wrong. I would trade many years of a mediocre relationship for the two more with you.
Your trust was incredible.
Your love unending.
Your enthusiasm for life was unquenched, even when the anemia made you so tired, you never complained. Always cheerful and caring. Always ready to prance so proud, or race to me with those huge front feet leaping into the air.
You will be in my heart forever.
You are my miracle girl!
I love you so much, and will see you again someday.
I am sure that my first Berner, Murphy, will show you the ropes up there, and your foster brother, Ranger is waiting for you too.
The other side of the mirror is a wonderful place. You will never feel tired again. You will be able to run and play as much as you want to. You will never feel the need to shrink away from a friendly hand reaching out to you. All the nausea and weakness is gone. Once again almost empty peanut butter jars will be welcomed with excitement, followed by an hour of intense concentration so your tongue can reach every nook and cranny. Your tummy will never betray you by saying your favorite foods are going to make you so nauseous. Your puppyish body will never tell you that you hurt and should hobble around like a veteran. I know you will occasionally look back through that one way mirror and check on me. I felt your paw on my knee and your head on my shoulder like we always hugged. I am okay dear one. It's okay to go on with out me for now. We'll see each other again sweetheart.
Free you are my dearest, sweet faced, beautiful Berner. And although we wish so strongly that the puppy mill that bred you, the petstore that sold you, the people that bought you, never do that to another pup, we are honored to have been your Moms. If they had never bought you and then dumped you at a shelter, we would never have had this wonderous journey with you.
Through Tears and Anquished Cries
All control hard won, broken
by the vets sweet release,
I hold her dear face in my hands
Look into those unseeing eyes.
"Dearest one, don't stay for me
Fly free my little girl
On Phoenix wings.
Rise from the ashes of this life
And wait for me on the other side."
Our hearts are broken, but Koko will always be part of us.
Laura Pajot and Rita Blankenship
Bernerless in Oregon
Watched over by 2 Berner angels (Murphy and Koko)
This page has some links to info for dogs in kidney failure
and to read more about Koko
*Samson's Story *My Gang *Sunny,Simmy,Barney,Pixie *Friend's Gallery *In Loving Memory
*Histio Roll Call *Bernese Art *Berner Fun Stuff *Berner Articles & Info *Berner Shop
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