things you probably never wanted to hear
escape now
or forever hold your pieces

Things to Ponder

    Sauron the Fangirl

    Fairy-Hands Draco



    Love Tesseracts

    Why sour candy makes one's tongue bleed
    Rhyming Poetry


    Where they sell Cans of Whoop-ass

    Oliver Wood, writhing on the ground in attempt to tame a bludger.

    Freudian implications of the surname Biggerstaff

Pure-blooded Wizards
    Wiz-o-butter.  Cheese-Wiz.  Wizard Concentrate.  Draco Malfoy in a can.
Mention of Cans Sends Fit of Giggles

Fan of TUA
    Kakeru is similar to Draco.  Kakeru is cool.  Harry Potter is fun.  Oh, look, FF.net.  Books>Harry Potter.  I'm a yaoi/shounen ai fan.  Draco and Harry might be cute.  Look, a fic by Rubicon.
Rabid HP Slash Fan.


"If life were a video game, Pez would be the magic coins."

Cedric:  Cedric is normal
[Hysterical laughter from everyone else.]
Cedric:  It's not that funny.
Kat&Seana: No, it's hilarious

Kat: Oh my God, that guy has manboobs!
Cedric: [Turns] Where?!

"I'll show you 'constant vigilance'!"
        ~Zach Tinkleman

"Well, I am a selfish, only child bitch.  But Leerie can have some."

"Great.  Now I can buy a candy bar in magical fairyland where everything's free!"

"It just keeps going and going and going…  It's like the Energizer Bunny on crack!"

"I'm so happy!  I have hamsters in my underwear!"
"I'm so happy!  The little red-haired girl dropped her pencil!  It has teeth marks all over it.  Oh my god, she's a dog!"
"It's like an army of hamsters!"
            ~ Colin

Me:  It's okay for a guy and a girl to be just friends, right?
Girl who's name I can't recall: [Odd look] No.

"Computers are evil.  But they are also the tools of the gods.  Sort of like Hollywood producers, and dentists."

"The zombies will settle for PB&J."

"I don't care if he is Death, I'm still gonna kick him in the shins!"
            ~Neko-chan as Kegero, an Anime MS

"Okay, aroused ferret out of the cleavage."
        ~Seraphyna, Neko-chan's HP Mary-Sue

Me: Voldermart?
Kero-chan: Yeah.  It's like Wal-Mart, only evil.
Me: …Wal-Mart is evil.

"Because there are so many damsels wandering around Kent."
                ~Me and Anna

Kat: Death!
Me: Destruction!
Both: Legolas!

"Stop!  You must be this tall to ride!"
        ~Kat, looking at the LotR movie poster

'Draco?  Draco…? [Pause] Snookhums…?"
    ~Justin Finch-Fletchly, in our first HP Mary-Sue excursion

Kat: Kerry, stop flirting with Brett.
Me: [Innocently] Why?

"I know, I'm an inverted pumpkin."

PC game Malfoy: You've damaged my broomstick, Potter!
[Gales of laughter]

"You do not have a crush on Harry Potter!"

"Right.  Are they paying you to be a jerk, or are you stupidly doing it for free??"
            ~My dad

"And the award for Most Priceless Facial Expression goes to …Elrond!"

Me: You'd like Seamus, Cedric.
Cedric: Really?  [Grins]

"My eyelashes have been curled.  WHY?"

"Oh, I am so angry at you now."

"Excuse me, okay, you squeezed my pen, err, pinkie…"

"That's simply the way it goes.  ::attempts to shred paper marked 'The Way it Goes'::"

"We are not sods, Mr. Sorting Hat!"
  ~dementedness on the part of me and Kero-chan

Nina:...and Caitlin and I call him Sexy Man.
Me:  Why would you call Danny Se...oh!  Oooohhh....::is slow on uptake::

"Dude!  Brett!  You forgot your clothes!"
        ~Me, Kat, and Lala-chan

"Matt, there are so not twelve bases!"

"All citizens should be advised that the local turtle was found to be harboring Badgers."
                ~ Dan H.

"Oh yay!  Kerry is quoting me!"

"Help!! Betsy's Slushie's trying to kill me!!!! It's a Slushie kill-Anna conspiracy!!!!"

"I am not Kerry's freshman!"
            ~ Freshman Matt

"That's very nice perfume... must you marinate in it?"

"You'd be surprised what a good meal carpet makes."

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…Matt."

"You've abandoned me for another sidewalk!"

"Oh crap.  There are ghosts guarding the last bitey thing.  Crap, I'm stuck!"

Seana: He looks extremely hot on this pen.
Me: I know, that's why I paid a buck sixty for it.
Matt: Oh, let me see!  Wait, I don't want to see that!
        ~Discussion of my HP pen (which I bought from Kat, who traded two of her pens for it in the first place)

"Camel Couscous.  100% natural camel."

"Cedric Diggory- dead sexy, dead boring…just plain dead."
        ~Kaijuu-chan, in one of her more insensitive moods (Latin class)

Betsy: Ginny's crush on Ron is cute.
Me: Ginny's crush on Harry…
Betsy: That's what I said!
Me: No, you sai-
Betsy: [Quickly] I did not say that!

"What kind of spiders were they?"

Erin: What happened to Ginny?
Anna: She died.
Erin: Why?
Anna: She followed Harry into the forest.  And got an infection.  From a paper cut.  And died.

"Who did what now?"

Anrui-chan: …especially redheaded ones named Kerry after their mother.
Neko-chan: [Twitches]
             (during a discussion on the prospect of Harry Potter reproducing)

"I'm a little teapot, short and stout.  Here is my ha-  Ow.  Pressure point…"

Kat: [Holding up a Harry Potter pen] …and he really doesn't look eleven, either.
Kerry: Ooh, lemme see!  [Grabs for pen]
Kat: [Jumping back and yoinking the pen out of Kerry's reach] No!  Money! You give me money!
Kerry: [Thinks about it] How much?
Kat: Hmm… I had to trade two pens for this…
Kerry:  I'll give you two bucks.
Kat: Deal.

"He did not impregnate me!"

Lunchtable: Oh, my god, Aragorn, *look* at his butt.  [All fall over giggling]
Dan: [Looks mortified] Motherfuckers!


"No!  Technology hates me!"

"I'm on book number fuck!"

"Specky git."

Aegeus86:    i want me Jai!
NekoNoHoshi:    and no whinging about it either
Pluto Empress999:    whinging?
NekoNoHoshi:    umm...
NekoNoHoshi:    my fingers are british?
Pluto Empress999:    nice save!
NekoNoHoshi:    I swear i didn't mean to type that.

"Bush is a dumbass hinker.  Who fukes the government up."
            ~ Roo

dj1thousand:    i mean, everybody is pathetic, but your levels of patheticness are not as high as for you to be considered somebody who can be described as pathetic.
dj1thousand:    ...if that makes sense.
NekoNoHoshi:    Robert, welcome to our daily self-deprecation sessions.

Ninjagirl5:    ::stops dead and sits down calmly and investigates sock:: "nevermind"
NekoNoHoshi:    chuuu!
Anruichan15:    socks are freindly.
Anruichan15:    *friendly
Ninjagirl5:    <---has o homework due tomorrow!
dj1thousand:    are they? i've found otherwise
NekoNoHoshi:    ooh!  Slutty socks!
dj1thousand:    i beg pardon?
Anruichan15:    they get payed.
dj1thousand:    how...
Ninjagirl5:    wow! my socks are slutty!
dj1thousand:    ah, nevermind.
NekoNoHoshi:    she said they were "friendly"
Anruichan15:    ok, quote.
Ninjagirl5:    ohhh they're whores!

"hold on while i put on enough clothes to go upstairs and get the paper"

Aegeus86:    PRAISE JESUS!
Aegeus86:    PRAISE THE LORD!
Pluto Empress999:    yeah, i'd say your confused.
Pluto Empress999:    *you're
Pluto Empress999:    that's right!
Aegeus86:    HEY! WAIT!
NekoNoHoshi:    eh?
Aegeus86:    THAT'S WORNG!
Pluto Empress999:    worng?
Aegeus86:    It should be ALMIGHTY
Pluto Empress999:    I'm trying to find Aggie's theme song.
Aegeus86:    not AMIGHT
Aegeus86:    ALMIGHT
Pluto Empress999:    yep
Aegeus86:    And it should read Kerry, not Seana
Pluto Empress999:    :P
NekoNoHoshi:    yay!
NekoNoHoshi:    I'm God
Pluto Empress999:    YAY! We're doomed!
Aegeus86:    >
NekoNoHoshi:    yup

"Are your fingers British too?"

BetsyAnnH:    anna believes that *everyone* has a crush on you, Kerry, I swear...

Aegeus86:    We are the Fags who say MOO and to you, we say MOOOOOOO!

uote from other chat I'm in: >>  Shit...they've found a light-switch...here's you're...no, not that...this! Ah...well, uh...[ahem]...that is cheating, but TAKE THE FRICKEN SHORTS! <<

/Talk to Betsy...Like Betsy...Talk to betsy...lend me five bucks.../

Boggart Harry: I need to know what love is like, Malfoy, I need to find out.  I’m hungry for you.
Malfoy: Can’t you just eat a damn Snicker’s Bar?
            ~Boggart Fantasies, by J. J. the hinkypunk

"Mr. Potter, the snitch has not flown down Mr. Malfoy's throat. Please extricate yourself from his wind-pipe."
        ~Madam Hooch, How Harry was Hermione Granger-ed into (Dominance and) Submission

"Ok, I'm going to just stand in the middle of the street until those cars start g-okay, they're going!"

"The world's going to end at three? ...but I haven't been laid yet!"
"Marry me!"
"I can't! My heart belongs to... that tree."
        ~Roo an' Me

"find things that resemble underwear, like t-shirts!"   
                ~My Mother

"ack! can't be lucius when I'm listening to "lost my cookie at the disco!"

"Anyone over 21 in the United States has the right to get absolutely smashed"
~darkwolf: VH Jedi [decidedly UnMalfoy]

Aegeus86:    Draco was a boy
Aegeus86:    With long blonde hair
NekoNoHoshi:    ...
Aegeus86:    He fucked harry good
Aegeus86:    The end

Kat, Kat-chan, and Kero-chan are all one and the same, as are Anna, Annalee, and Anrui-chan.  Me, Kerry, Neko-chan, and Kaijuu-chan are the same person.  Muffin-chan and Betsy are also the same person, and so are Lala-chan and Seana.  That's five different people.  All people quoted are respective property of themselves.  These disclaimers are getting to be a habit.  Email me if you think I'm schizophrenic.