Miscellany things you probably never wanted to hear escape now
or forever hold your pieces
Things to Ponder
Sauron the Fangirl
Why sour candy makes one's tongue bleed
Where they sell Cans of Whoop-ass
Oliver Wood, writhing on the ground in attempt to tame
Freudian implications of the surname Biggerstaff
Wiz-o-butter. Cheese-Wiz. Wizard Concentrate.
Draco Malfoy in a can.
Mention of Cans Sends Fit of Giggles
Fan of TUA
Kakeru is similar to Draco. Kakeru is cool.
Harry Potter is fun. Oh, look, FF.net. Books>Harry Potter.
I'm a yaoi/shounen ai fan. Draco and Harry might be cute. Look,
a fic by Rubicon.
Rabid HP Slash Fan.
"If life were a video game, Pez would be the magic coins."
Cedric: Cedric is normal
[Hysterical laughter from everyone else.]
Cedric: It's not that funny.
Kat&Seana: No, it's hilarious
Kat: Oh my God, that guy has manboobs!
Cedric: [Turns] Where?!
"I'll show you 'constant vigilance'!"
"Well, I am a selfish, only child bitch. But Leerie can have some."
"Great. Now I can buy a candy bar in magical fairyland where everything's
"It just keeps going and going and going… It's like the Energizer Bunny
"I'm so happy! I have hamsters in my underwear!"
"I'm so happy! The little red-haired girl dropped her pencil!
It has teeth marks all over it. Oh my god, she's a dog!"
"It's like an army of hamsters!"
Me: It's okay for a guy and a girl to be just friends, right?
Girl who's name I can't recall: [Odd look] No.
"Computers are evil. But they are also the tools of the gods.
Sort of like Hollywood producers, and dentists."
"The zombies will settle for PB&J."
"I don't care if he is Death, I'm still gonna kick him in the shins!"
~Neko-chan as Kegero,
an Anime MS
"Okay, aroused ferret out of the cleavage."
~Seraphyna, Neko-chan's HP Mary-Sue
Kero-chan: Yeah. It's like Wal-Mart, only evil.
Me: …Wal-Mart is evil.
"Because there are so many damsels wandering around Kent."
~Me and Anna
"Stop! You must be this tall to ride!"
~Kat, looking at the LotR movie poster
'Draco? Draco…? [Pause] Snookhums…?"
~Justin Finch-Fletchly, in our first HP Mary-Sue excursion
Kat: Kerry, stop flirting with Brett.
Me: [Innocently] Why?
"I know, I'm an inverted pumpkin."
PC game Malfoy: You've damaged my broomstick, Potter!
[Gales of laughter]
"You do not have a crush on Harry Potter!"
"Right. Are they paying you to be a jerk, or are you stupidly doing
it for free??"
"And the award for Most Priceless Facial Expression goes to …Elrond!"
Me: You'd like Seamus, Cedric.
Cedric: Really? [Grins]
"My eyelashes have been curled. WHY?"
"Oh, I am so angry at you now."
"Excuse me, okay, you squeezed my pen, err, pinkie…"
"That's simply the way it goes. ::attempts to shred paper marked 'The
Way it Goes'::"
"We are not sods, Mr. Sorting Hat!"
~dementedness on the part of me and Kero-chan
Nina:...and Caitlin and I call him Sexy Man.
Me: Why would you call Danny Se...oh! Oooohhh....::is slow on
"Dude! Brett! You forgot your clothes!"
~Me, Kat, and Lala-chan
"Matt, there are so not twelve bases!"
"All citizens should be advised that the local turtle was found to be harboring
~ Dan H.
"Oh yay! Kerry is quoting me!"
"Help!! Betsy's Slushie's trying to kill me!!!! It's a Slushie kill-Anna
"I am not Kerry's freshman!"
~ Freshman Matt
"That's very nice perfume... must you marinate in it?"
"You'd be surprised what a good meal carpet makes."
"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…Matt."
"You've abandoned me for another sidewalk!"
"Oh crap. There are ghosts guarding the last bitey thing. Crap,
Seana: He looks extremely hot on this pen.
Me: I know, that's why I paid a buck sixty for it.
Matt: Oh, let me see! Wait, I don't want to see that!
~Discussion of my HP pen (which I bought
from Kat, who traded two of her pens for it in the first place)
"Camel Couscous. 100% natural camel."
"Cedric Diggory- dead sexy, dead boring…just plain dead."
~Kaijuu-chan, in one of her more insensitive
moods (Latin class)
Betsy: Ginny's crush on Ron is cute.
Me: Ginny's crush on Harry…
Betsy: That's what I said!
Me: No, you sai-
Betsy: [Quickly] I did not say that!
"What kind of spiders were they?"
Erin: What happened to Ginny?
Anna: She died.
Anna: She followed Harry into the forest. And got an infection.
From a paper cut. And died.
"Who did what now?"
Anrui-chan: …especially redheaded ones named Kerry after their mother.
(during a discussion on the prospect of Harry Potter reproducing)
"I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my ha- Ow.
Kat: [Holding up a Harry Potter pen] …and he really doesn't look eleven,
Kerry: Ooh, lemme see! [Grabs for pen]
Kat: [Jumping back and yoinking the pen out of Kerry's reach] No! Money!
You give me money!
Kerry: [Thinks about it] How much?
Kat: Hmm… I had to trade two pens for this…
Kerry: I'll give you two bucks.
"He did not impregnate me!"
Lunchtable: Oh, my god, Aragorn, *look* at his butt. [All fall over
Dan: [Looks mortified] Motherfuckers!
"No! Technology hates me!"
"I'm on book number fuck!"
Aegeus86: i want me Jai!
NekoNoHoshi: and no whinging about it either
Pluto Empress999: whinging?
NekoNoHoshi: my fingers are british?
Pluto Empress999: nice save!
NekoNoHoshi: I swear i didn't mean to type that.
"Bush is a dumbass hinker. Who fukes the government up."
dj1thousand: i mean, everybody is pathetic, but your levels
of patheticness are not as high as for you to be considered somebody who
can be described as pathetic.
dj1thousand: ...if that makes sense.
NekoNoHoshi: Robert, welcome to our daily self-deprecation
Ninjagirl5: ::stops dead and sits down calmly and investigates
Anruichan15: socks are freindly.
Ninjagirl5: <---has o homework due tomorrow!
dj1thousand: are they? i've found otherwise
NekoNoHoshi: ooh! Slutty socks!
dj1thousand: i beg pardon?
Anruichan15: they get payed.
Ninjagirl5: wow! my socks are slutty!
dj1thousand: ah, nevermind.
NekoNoHoshi: she said they were "friendly"
Anruichan15: ok, quote.
Ninjagirl5: ohhh they're whores!
"hold on while i put on enough clothes to go upstairs and get the paper"
Aegeus86: PRAISE JESUS!
Aegeus86: PRAISE THE LORD!
Pluto Empress999: yeah, i'd say your confused.
Pluto Empress999: *you're
Aegeus86: PRAISE THE ALMIGHT SEANA!
Pluto Empress999: that's right!
Aegeus86: HEY! WAIT!
Aegeus86: THAT'S WORNG!
Pluto Empress999: worng?
Aegeus86: It should be ALMIGHTY
Pluto Empress999: I'm trying to find Aggie's theme song.
Aegeus86: not AMIGHT
Pluto Empress999: yep
Aegeus86: And it should read Kerry, not Seana
Pluto Empress999: :P
NekoNoHoshi: I'm God
Pluto Empress999: YAY! We're doomed!
"Are your fingers British too?"
BetsyAnnH: anna believes that *everyone* has a crush on
you, Kerry, I swear...
Aegeus86: We are the Fags who say MOO and to you, we say
uote from other chat I'm in: >> Shit...they've found a light-switch...here's
you're...no, not that...this! Ah...well, uh...[ahem]...that is cheating,
but TAKE THE FRICKEN SHORTS! <<
/Talk to Betsy...Like Betsy...Talk to betsy...lend me five bucks.../
Boggart Harry: I need to know what love is like, Malfoy, I need to find out.
I’m hungry for you.
Malfoy: Can’t you just eat a damn Snicker’s Bar?
by J. J. the hinkypunk
"Mr. Potter, the snitch has not flown down Mr. Malfoy's throat. Please extricate
yourself from his wind-pipe."
~Madam Hooch, How Harry was Hermione
Granger-ed into (Dominance and) Submission
"Ok, I'm going to just stand in the middle of the street until those cars
start g-okay, they're going!"
"The world's going to end at three? ...but I haven't been laid yet!"
"I can't! My heart belongs to... that tree."
~Roo an' Me
"find things that resemble underwear, like t-shirts!"
"ack! can't be lucius when I'm listening to "lost my cookie at the disco!"
"Anyone over 21 in the United States has the right to get absolutely smashed"
~darkwolf: VH Jedi [decidedly UnMalfoy]
Aegeus86: Draco was a boy
Aegeus86: With long blonde hair
Aegeus86: He fucked harry good
Aegeus86: The end
Kat, Kat-chan, and Kero-chan are all one and the same, as are Anna, Annalee,
and Anrui-chan. Me, Kerry, Neko-chan, and Kaijuu-chan are the same
person. Muffin-chan and Betsy are also the same person, and so are Lala-chan
and Seana. That's five different people. All people quoted are
respective property of themselves. These disclaimers are getting to
be a habit. Email me
if you think I'm schizophrenic.