things you probably never wanted to hear
or forever hold your pieces
Things to Ponder
Kat, Kat-chan, and Kero-chan are all one and the same, as are Anna, Annalee,
and Anrui-chan. Me, Kerry, Neko-chan, and Kaijuu-chan are the same
person. Muffin-chan and Betsy are also the same person, and so are Lala-chan
and Seana. That's five different people. All people quoted are
respective property of themselves. These disclaimers are getting to
be a habit. Email me
if you think I'm schizophrenic.
Sauron the Fangirl
Why sour candy makes one's tongue bleed
Where they sell Cans of Whoop-ass
Oliver Wood, writhing on the ground in attempt to tame
Freudian implications of the surname Biggerstaff
Wiz-o-butter. Cheese-Wiz. Wizard Concentrate.
Draco Malfoy in a can.
Mention of Cans Sends Fit of Giggles
Fan of TUA
Kakeru is similar to Draco. Kakeru is cool.
Harry Potter is fun. Oh, look, FF.net. Books>Harry Potter.
I'm a yaoi/shounen ai fan. Draco and Harry might be cute. Look,
a fic by Rubicon.
Rabid HP Slash Fan.
"If life were a video game, Pez would be the magic coins."
Cedric: Cedric is normal
[Hysterical laughter from everyone else.]
Cedric: It's not that funny.
Kat&Seana: No, it's hilarious
Kat: Oh my God, that guy has manboobs!
Cedric: [Turns] Where?!
"I'll show you 'constant vigilance'!"
"Well, I am a selfish, only child bitch. But Leerie can have some."
"Great. Now I can buy a candy bar in magical fairyland where everything's
"It just keeps going and going and going… It's like the Energizer Bunny
"I'm so happy! I have hamsters in my underwear!"
"I'm so happy! The little red-haired girl dropped her pencil!
It has teeth marks all over it. Oh my god, she's a dog!"
"It's like an army of hamsters!"
Me: It's okay for a guy and a girl to be just friends, right?
Girl who's name I can't recall: [Odd look] No.
"Computers are evil. But they are also the tools of the gods.
Sort of like Hollywood producers, and dentists."
"The zombies will settle for PB&J."
"I don't care if he is Death, I'm still gonna kick him in the shins!"
~Neko-chan as Kegero,
an Anime MS
"Okay, aroused ferret out of the cleavage."
~Seraphyna, Neko-chan's HP Mary-Sue
Kero-chan: Yeah. It's like Wal-Mart, only evil.
Me: …Wal-Mart is evil.
"Because there are so many damsels wandering around Kent."
~Me and Anna
"Stop! You must be this tall to ride!"
~Kat, looking at the LotR movie poster
'Draco? Draco…? [Pause] Snookhums…?"
~Justin Finch-Fletchly, in our first HP Mary-Sue excursion
Kat: Kerry, stop flirting with Brett.
Me: [Innocently] Why?
"I know, I'm an inverted pumpkin."
PC game Malfoy: You've damaged my broomstick, Potter!
[Gales of laughter]
"You do not have a crush on Harry Potter!"
"Right. Are they paying you to be a jerk, or are you stupidly doing
it for free??"
"And the award for Most Priceless Facial Expression goes to …Elrond!"
Me: You'd like Seamus, Cedric.
Cedric: Really? [Grins]
"My eyelashes have been curled. WHY?"
"Oh, I am so angry at you now."
"Excuse me, okay, you squeezed my pen, err, pinkie…"
"That's simply the way it goes. ::attempts to shred paper marked 'The
Way it Goes'::"
"We are not sods, Mr. Sorting Hat!"
~dementedness on the part of me and Kero-chan
Nina:...and Caitlin and I call him Sexy Man.
Me: Why would you call Danny Se...oh! Oooohhh....::is slow on
"Dude! Brett! You forgot your clothes!"
~Me, Kat, and Lala-chan
"Matt, there are so not twelve bases!"
"All citizens should be advised that the local turtle was found to be harboring
~ Dan H.
"Oh yay! Kerry is quoting me!"
"Help!! Betsy's Slushie's trying to kill me!!!! It's a Slushie kill-Anna
"I am not Kerry's freshman!"
~ Freshman Matt
"That's very nice perfume... must you marinate in it?"
"You'd be surprised what a good meal carpet makes."
"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…Matt."
"You've abandoned me for another sidewalk!"
"Oh crap. There are ghosts guarding the last bitey thing. Crap,
Seana: He looks extremely hot on this pen.
Me: I know, that's why I paid a buck sixty for it.
Matt: Oh, let me see! Wait, I don't want to see that!
~Discussion of my HP pen (which I bought
from Kat, who traded two of her pens for it in the first place)
"Camel Couscous. 100% natural camel."
"Cedric Diggory- dead sexy, dead boring…just plain dead."
~Kaijuu-chan, in one of her more insensitive
moods (Latin class)
Betsy: Ginny's crush on Ron is cute.
Me: Ginny's crush on Harry…
Betsy: That's what I said!
Me: No, you sai-
Betsy: [Quickly] I did not say that!
"What kind of spiders were they?"
Erin: What happened to Ginny?
Anna: She died.
Anna: She followed Harry into the forest. And got an infection.
From a paper cut. And died.
"Who did what now?"
Anrui-chan: …especially redheaded ones named Kerry after their mother.
(during a discussion on the prospect of Harry Potter reproducing)
"I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my ha- Ow.
Kat: [Holding up a Harry Potter pen] …and he really doesn't look eleven,
Kerry: Ooh, lemme see! [Grabs for pen]
Kat: [Jumping back and yoinking the pen out of Kerry's reach] No! Money!
You give me money!
Kerry: [Thinks about it] How much?
Kat: Hmm… I had to trade two pens for this…
Kerry: I'll give you two bucks.
"He did not impregnate me!"
Lunchtable: Oh, my god, Aragorn, *look* at his butt. [All fall over
Dan: [Looks mortified] Motherfuckers!
"No! Technology hates me!"
"I'm on book number fuck!"
Aegeus86: i want me Jai!
NekoNoHoshi: and no whinging about it either
Pluto Empress999: whinging?
NekoNoHoshi: my fingers are british?
Pluto Empress999: nice save!
NekoNoHoshi: I swear i didn't mean to type that.
"Bush is a dumbass hinker. Who fukes the government up."
dj1thousand: i mean, everybody is pathetic, but your levels
of patheticness are not as high as for you to be considered somebody who
can be described as pathetic.
dj1thousand: ...if that makes sense.
NekoNoHoshi: Robert, welcome to our daily self-deprecation
Ninjagirl5: ::stops dead and sits down calmly and investigates
Anruichan15: socks are freindly.
Ninjagirl5: <---has o homework due tomorrow!
dj1thousand: are they? i've found otherwise
NekoNoHoshi: ooh! Slutty socks!
dj1thousand: i beg pardon?
Anruichan15: they get payed.
Ninjagirl5: wow! my socks are slutty!
dj1thousand: ah, nevermind.
NekoNoHoshi: she said they were "friendly"
Anruichan15: ok, quote.
Ninjagirl5: ohhh they're whores!
"hold on while i put on enough clothes to go upstairs and get the paper"
Aegeus86: PRAISE JESUS!
Aegeus86: PRAISE THE LORD!
Pluto Empress999: yeah, i'd say your confused.
Pluto Empress999: *you're
Aegeus86: PRAISE THE ALMIGHT SEANA!
Pluto Empress999: that's right!
Aegeus86: HEY! WAIT!
Aegeus86: THAT'S WORNG!
Pluto Empress999: worng?
Aegeus86: It should be ALMIGHTY
Pluto Empress999: I'm trying to find Aggie's theme song.
Aegeus86: not AMIGHT
Pluto Empress999: yep
Aegeus86: And it should read Kerry, not Seana
Pluto Empress999: :P
NekoNoHoshi: I'm God
Pluto Empress999: YAY! We're doomed!
"Are your fingers British too?"
BetsyAnnH: anna believes that *everyone* has a crush on
you, Kerry, I swear...
Aegeus86: We are the Fags who say MOO and to you, we say
uote from other chat I'm in: >> Shit...they've found a light-switch...here's
you're...no, not that...this! Ah...well, uh...[ahem]...that is cheating,
but TAKE THE FRICKEN SHORTS! <<
/Talk to Betsy...Like Betsy...Talk to betsy...lend me five bucks.../
Boggart Harry: I need to know what love is like, Malfoy, I need to find out.
I’m hungry for you.
Malfoy: Can’t you just eat a damn Snicker’s Bar?
by J. J. the hinkypunk
"Mr. Potter, the snitch has not flown down Mr. Malfoy's throat. Please extricate
yourself from his wind-pipe."
~Madam Hooch, How Harry was Hermione
Granger-ed into (Dominance and) Submission
"Ok, I'm going to just stand in the middle of the street until those cars
start g-okay, they're going!"
"The world's going to end at three? ...but I haven't been laid yet!"
"I can't! My heart belongs to... that tree."
~Roo an' Me
"find things that resemble underwear, like t-shirts!"
"ack! can't be lucius when I'm listening to "lost my cookie at the disco!"
"Anyone over 21 in the United States has the right to get absolutely smashed"
~darkwolf: VH Jedi [decidedly UnMalfoy]
Aegeus86: Draco was a boy
Aegeus86: With long blonde hair
Aegeus86: He fucked harry good
Aegeus86: The end