Bulma barely managed to wipe the idiotic grin from her face by the time she reached the living room.
"No like this Grandma," Bulma stopped just inside the hallway to watch her daughter, Bra was on all fours and was pretending to be a pok'emon, "Like this pica-pica-picachu!"
Her mother was smiling in her usual happy 'I-havent-got-a-brain-in-my-entire-head' way,"Oh that's so very nice, honey look she does it just like on that cute little show."
At that point Trunks breezed past, his hands in his pockets, and flopped down on the sofa next to his grandma. He looked rather singed and Bulma got the feeling Bra had been using her older brother to test her ki attacks. This was the latest of Bra's games, and while it was nothing serious compared to what her father could do, it really annoyed Trunks.
"Is this truly necessary?"
Bulma turned to find Vejita standing behind her, she noticed that he had already loosened his tie and had the first couple of buttons on his shirt undone.
"I know someone who is going to sleep on the sofa tonight, if he doesn't stay in his suit and behave!" she said, fixing his collar.
Bulma cinched the tie up extra tight and walked out of the hall ignoring Vejita and a plethora of nasty words and evil comments
When her she walked into the living room, her mother was up off the sofa in a heartbeat, gushing over her outfit, how thin she was, and 'what have you done with your hair?' Bulma smiled and nodded, and chit-chatted long enough to satisfy her mother, before saying,"Oh look, we've got to leave now or they'll cancel our reservations."
She hustled her parents out the door, and gave Trunks and Bra a goodbye kiss.
Poor Trunks was trying everything he could to get out of watching his sister, "But Mom what if she tries to blowup the house again, you should leave Dad here in case something happens."
Bulma heaved an exasperated sigh,"Trunks...."
Her son gave her his best puppy-dog eyes, it didn't work on her,"We're leaving now, bye."
"Bye," she was closing the door as she said it.
"See you later," Bulma said through the crack in the door. She took a moment to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear before finally closing her son off. She heard Trunks start to swear,"You watch your mouth, young man!!" she yelled.
There was a pause, then a muffled apology through the door. Bulma smiled smugly as she made her way over to the father's car.
Her Dad's car was his pride and joy. It was a sweet little '47 Mercury, painted a dark green color, and covered in shiny, shiny chrome. It was also one of the few cars in the city that still actually had wheels.
Her dad tossed her the keys, and bustled her mother into the backseat, while she chittered about her lastest visit to the dentist.
"-And then he gives me these little pills that make me see two of everything, and he gets out this drill! Bulma, when I say this thing was big I mean it, blah blah blah--"
Vejita, hopping over the door despite his suit, was scowling. When she slipped into the driver's seat beside him, he muttered something.
Vejita repeated what he said, loudly, "I said,'what did I do to deserve this?'"
"Oh my!," Her mother tittered a bit,"I think somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!"
Mom kept gabbering all the way to the restraunt, about various things. But every now and then Bulma would hear her repeat to herself 'wrong side of the bed, that's funny'. From the way he kept glaring into the rearview mirror, Vejita heard it too.
Bulma hunched her shoulders and tried to drive faster. The nice quiet evening she had planned for her parents was ruined.
On the passenger side, Vejita was pretending to be asleep, in the backseat Dr. Briefs was trying to keep her mother from flashing passing vehicles. In addition to that her mother singing some weird song who's only verse went:
I love to go swimmin'
With bow-legged wimmin'
And swim between their legs
"Crap, I should have just gotten them a nice card instead,"
She had expected some trouble from Vejita, which had manifested itself in the form of bullying the waitor, but that dried up as soon as Mom had her first few drinks.
She remembered the scene with painful clarity, her mother calling the busboy over in a hoarse whisper, and then pinching his butt so hard he dropped a bin full of dirty dishes. Her father's chin hit the floor, she must have looked about as shocked, while her mother cackled loudly. Vejiita was the only person in the entire restraunt who wasn't staring, in fact he ordered Mom another drink.
Getting out of the restraunt was almost as embarassing. Mom offered to buy some guy's wife,'I'll make it worth your while,' is what she told the man, and at the door she attempted to 'goose' the Major D.
Bulma was just glad they were almost home. The car was quiet, except for Mom, she was now humming softly to herself. Dad must have put the locks on the windows to keep her from diving out.
She glanced into the rearview mirror to check on her parents. Dr. Briefs looked exsausted from trying to restrain Mom, and Mom was playing with a little pair of scissors.
"Were did she get those?"
As Bulma watched in the mirror, her mother, still humming, stuck her arm out and snipped the very tip off Vejiita's hair. He didn't seem to notice, and as Bulma watched in growing horror, Mom started in on the lesser spikes.
Snip, snip, snip,"Um, Mom?"
Snip, snip, snip,"Who's there? Oh Bulma! Come back here and see this."
Snip, snip, snip,"See what Mom?"
Snip, snip, snip,"Mount Rushmore," her mother beamed with pride,"You gotta' see it from back here, I got it hold on."
Mom pulled her copy of 'War and Peace' from off the back dash, and readied a major league swing.
Bulma's mother ignored her, and brought the book down. Just as it would've smacked Vejiita on the head, he blocked. The recoil was enough to stun Mom, knocking her into the seat. Vejiita snarled something incomprehensible, and got out of the car.
"Of course the fact that the car is going 100 billion miles per hour has no effect on that thing," Her mother waved a hand at the window,"Nope, just out the window and whooosh! Three points!!" Mom dissolved into laughter as Bulma tried to shut the door.
"That son of a bitch," As she drove he rest of the way home trying to ignore her mother's antics, one thought ran through her head over and over again,"It sucks to be me."
She pulled up into the driveway, never quite so glad to be home. She had barely pulled into a stop, when her mother managed to get the door open. Tumbling out onto the pavement and where she landed in a heap.
"Mom!," Bulma left the keys in the ignition and ran to her mother's side.
Bulma struggled to help her mother up from where she'd fallen, the older woman was heavier than she looked.
"Sheesh, how the hell did everybody get so tall?"
Bulma tried pulling as hard as she could,as her mother went limp, "Stop it, the view down here is excellent, I had no idea the car had wheels," her mom shook her arm, and Bulma fell back into the grass.
"Oww....that hurt," she picked herself up and rubbed her behind, hoping that the grass hadn't stained her skirt. She watched as her father tried to get her mother to go inside, and as things got worse.
"Dear, come inside before the neighbors see you like this."
Her mother sat straight up,"There are people watching us?! EEK!! Call the police! Help! Help! HELP!!"
"Doesn't she ever shutup?"
Bulma was startled to see Vejita standing beside her, she had thought he'd be locked in the gravity room by now. He'd obviously been inside, she noticed that the suit she had made him wear to dinner had been traded out for his favorite pair of sweats.
She was about to make an angry retort when her mother started yelling something about nachos and wanting to watch "Police Acadamy". Saving it for later Bulma turned to help her father carry her mother into the house. Behind her she heard Vejita snort softly to himself.
They had almost lifted Mom, who was yelling her head off, when Vejita walked by and plucked her out from between them. Bulma watched him carry her toward the house in a sort of shock, had Vejita just done something..nice??
As if hearing her thought, Vejita turned partially around and said,"You were taking to long."
Bulma tried to say something nasty before her mother could start up again, she wasn't fast enough.
"Oh my lucky stars! It's a knight in shi-" Her mother broke of for a second, squinting at Vejita's shirt,"Honey, get the tarnex, i just thought of something"
Bulma snickered, and Dr Briefs looked like he was trying not to laugh as well, Vejita just gave them both The Look, and carried her mother into the house. Bulma followed close behind as if she were afraid he'd drop her, he rolled his eyes.
"Just put her on the couch Vejita, I'll go make some coffee," Bulma said as she walked past him towards the kitchen.
written by Ichiban Saiyan