- Uehara: Nani?!? They're sick??????
Blue Violet: Yep! *scratches her head as she grins to her manager, Black Shadow or Uehara* They just called this morning and....
Uehara: *blood sprouts from her nose and flew everywhere around the studio* THEY'RE GONNA PAY FOR THIS!!!
B.V: Well, they're just girls....and I heard that Usagi put on a few pounds last summer and...*hands a piccie to Uehara* this is how she looks like rite now
Uehara: Urghhhh!!! *blood sprouts again as B.V had to stuck a tissue in her nose to stop it* OH MY GOD!!! Kisama! She's an obese!
B.V: Yep, you've got that right.
~ Both Uehara and B.V just stared at the piccie of Usagi or formerly known as Sailormoon or Princess Serenity or watever more. The Sailor Scouts were supposed to come for rehersal of the 'The Return of Sailormoon' dance show after loooooooooooooong yeaaaaaaaaaaaaars of their dissapearence. Some say they got kidnapped, some say they died....nah~~~ they just got fired b'coz all of 'em were being caught having 'tuuuut' [xxx-rated. Not suitable for kids under 18] at some local hotel and now all of them are selling fresh unagi at the port. shit! I'm not supposed to blab about this!!! [pleads on the floor with tears while making a baboon face "don't sue me!!! please!!! I don't own them!!!"]
Uehara: She has four chins already!
B.V: Look...her thighs as thick as a Silverstone tyre!
Uehara: Her fingers look like an oversized sausage!!!
B.V: Sailormoon looks like she's gonna blow!!! And so's the rest!!!*sweatdrops*
Uehara: Kisama! Now my show will never get any publicity! How the hell am I gonna get 5 people to play their part?!? *jumps about as she pulls her hair hysterically*
B.V: Five??? *scratches her head* What about Luna and Artemis???
Uehara: Seven!!! Where am I gonna get 7 people?!? I'm doomed!!!
B.V: Seven??? I think I know who'll be ever willing to take those roles. *grins*
Uehara: Who?
B.V: The Gundam Boys.....
****************************************************************
OKIE...here's where the real story begins. On the night of the dance show...
~Relena jumped on stage as she twirled around in a violet dress with white lace and pink flowers smiling sweetly at the audience who were yawning like hell of boredom. Suddenly, a hideous monster with errr...everything horeandously ugly [acted by Blue Violet due to the lack of actors] and grossly drooling all over the stage with cooties cut in and kidnaps Relena.
Duo: When's my part coming?
Uehara: You'll know. *grins at Duo* in only a few minut....arghhhhhh!!! Duo!!! What did you do to your hair?!?!
Duo: I did it the Sailormoon style! See...two hairballs on my head and...
Uehara: *disgusted* You...you're not going on stage looking like that! Where's the wig?!? Someone get me the wig!!!
Relena: Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Ugly monster...shoo! Shoo!
Monster [B.V]: Muahahahaaa....you're mine!!!
Relena: You've got cooties...get away! Get away!
Wufei: Onna! You're gonna pay for this! Do you know how terrible I look with this...this outrageous outfit?!?
Uehara: Just wear it Wufei. You don't look that baaaaad. *fixing the blonde wig on Duo's head*
Duo: You actually look cute Wu-man!
Wufei: You think so? *gave a striking pose* I think you're right Duo!
Trowa: Erm...Uehara. Can you please retell our roles all over again. I still don't get it! *smoothen his Sailor Jupiter outfit*
Uehara: *sighs as she knocks her own head* Do you even know what show you're acting in?
All except for Duo: Noooo...
Uehara: Nani? Bakayaro!!!
Heero: Omae okorosu
Uehara: You guys are gonna act as the Sailor Scouts!!! Duo, you're Sailormoon
Duo: Got it! *proudly*
Uehara: Heero, you'll be Sailormars, Trowa, Sailorjupiter, Quatre, Sailorvenus and Wufei will be Sailormercury!
Wufei: But I am not a nerd! This is injustice!
Treize, Zechs: What about us? Why are we dressed ina catsuits?
Uehara: The both of you are going to act as Luna and Artemis
Treize, Zechs: ??? Who???
Uehara: *blood sprout* Nevermind....just run on stage and shout watever to call the sailorscouts!
~Both Treize and Zechs ran as they were instructed, followed by the cheering from the hentai audience at they saw them coming out with tight shiny body hugging black and white catsuits with pointy ears, long whiskers and fluffy tails at the back. Well that was before Zechs slipped and stumbled face first on the floor, making a ripping sound from the back of his white catsuit. Treize in the other hand bumped into the monster and Relena who was struggling to get loose making all three of them lying on the floor.
Uehara: Dang!
Zechs: *tries to cover his butt with his hands* OOh Sailor...urm...sailor?
Treize: Sailor...erm...watever...come save us now!
Monster [B.V]: psssttt....sailorscouts!!! say 'save Relena from me!',baka!
Treize: Uh...okie. Sailorscouts! Save Relena from me, baka!!!
Monster: *knocks Treize on the head* save Relena from the monster!
Treize: *knocked out as he stiffly fell on the floor*
Zechs: Oooo sailorscouts!!! Save Relena from the monster!!!
~The came out four of the sailorscouts leaping in the air as Trowa or uhh~ Sailorjupiter did a somersault in the air as he landed if front of the three other sailors. With a ponytail and still with his unibanged hair, Trowa did a killer pose in front of the audience leaving all the hentai audience...or readers, all drooling all over him.
Trowa: I am Sailormoon and I come for peace and Quatre!
Quatre: *blushes* Trowa!!!
Uehara: Aho! You Sailorjupiter! Where's Duo?!?
Duo: *munching potato chips* I'm hereeeee......
Uehara: Hoi! Get on stage quick! What are you eating? Give it to me *snatches the packet* Go! Go!
Duo: Oro? It's my turn already? *confused*
Uehara: YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!! Now hurry up and get on stage!!! *points to the center of the stage while jumps hysterically*
Duo: OKIE!
~ Duo leaps out from behind the curtains as he did a high jump and an outrageous flip, revealing everything under his skirt...making all the hentai audience screaming while shouting "Duo! Duo! Duo!" and waving their hands up in the air as Duo handsomely landed and...damn! fell like a huge rock in the stage floor.
Heero: Duo! What are you doing?
Duo: *stands up while rubbing his butt with potato crumbs all over his outfit* What?
Trowa: *eyes widen* You forgot to wear your......
Uehara: underwear!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wufei: Baka! You did a free show for everyone!!! What were you thinking?
Heero: ............. *drags Duo backstage*
Audience: Boo~~~ we want Duo! Boo~~~
Monster: This show's obviously not going well -_-; Poor Uehara~~~
Relena: *shooks her head* You can say that again!
~Meanwhile, Quatre,Wufei,Trowa,Zechs,Relena, Monster[B.V] and lying on the floor Treize were all standing [except for Treize d-uh~!] stiff with Wufei who kept scratching his butt. They just stare at the audience blankly b'coz none of them knew what to do.
Zechs: Wufei! What are you doing?
Wufei: *scratch* What do you think I'm doing? I'm scratching my butt! Can't you see that?
Zechs: What's wrong with it?
Wufei: *scratch* I'm wearing a g-string and the lace is killing me!!!!
Zechs: oooooooooooooo o_o; . *snicker* g-string? *evil grin*
Quatre: What are we going to do now?
Trowa: Why not dance? Minna-san on stage...follow my footsteps as we sing together the Sailormoon theme!
Relena: You know the theme song?
Trowa: Of course! I love watching Sailormoon! sheeeesh!!! 123...start...
Fighting evil by moonlight~~~
Winning love by daylight~~~
~Suddenly...
Duo: Oooh YES!!! YESSSSSSSSSS!!!! HEEEEEEROOOOOOOO.....HARDERRRR....HARDERRRRRRR!!!!!!!YEAH BABY...YEAHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~~~~!!!
Uehara: oohhh shit... What the hell now?
Duo: Faster Heero....fasterrrrrrr!!!!!!!Yeah...yeah!!! YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!
Relena: Urghhh!!! Gross
Duo: Fuck me harderrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Trowa: I think they're doing it backstage!
Quatre: How could they? They didn't even invite us! Rite Trowa?
Trowa: Yep! Ooh man...this makes me feel hard...
Quatre: Really Trowa? But not now, the girls will see it with you wearing a skirt!
Uehara: Kisama!!! How could this turn out to be a hentai scene?!? *quickly pulls the rope to drop the curtains but accidently pulled up the curtain backstage...letting the audience a perfect view of what was happening back there...I mean...what the two hentais were doing backstage!*
Wufei: Arghhhhhhhh!!!!!!! *jumps onto Zechs and fainted*
Uehara: *blood sprouts - again!* ::If I get anymore blood sprouts from my nose I'll be the next patient in the ICU ward!!!::
Duo: Yeah Heero....do it again!!!! againnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!! Hey Heero....why stop???
Heero: *points out to the audience*
Duo: kisama! *repairs wig* What you saw just now....was just part of our show...heheee
Uehara: Dang!
Relena: Can we just continue the show now?
Duo: OOhhh....okie...ehem...I will save you er..er..Relena!!!
Relena: Ahhhh!!! Ahhhh!!! Help!!! I'm being kidnapped by a monster with cooties!!!
Duo: I'm coming Relena!!! *runs over to Relena*
Relena:*Gives one flying kick which sent Duo flying straight out of the hall* I want Heero!!!
Heero: Huh? *confused* psstt...Trowa...I'm supposed to be?
Trowa: Sailormars I think
Heero: Ok...thanks. Sailormars fire attack to cootie monster!!!
~nothing happened
Heero: Sailormars att.....
Trowa: Sailorjupiter lightning attack!!!!
~nothing......
Trowa: Oro? Did we forget something?
Monster: Arrrgggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!! I'm tired with you guys already! Can you guys just get the lines straight for once????!!!
All: No~~~
Monster: Fine! *pulls out a bazooka* You better get it right this time!
Quatre: Trowa! Save me from this psychotic monster!
Heero: Omae okorosu....
Monster: You guys better get the script right or I'll blow each and every one of you! *sets target*
All: eeep~~!!!
Uehara: *faints while her nose was still bleeding with scrapes of bloody kleenex all over her face*
~Suddenly DeathScythe smashed down the walls of hall as it trashed everything as the gundam came in making the audience dramatically going nuts as they threw popcorn all over the place.
Duo: Shinigami is here to bring you to hell, you cootie monster!
Monster: kisama!
Duo: You're not going anywhere! *turns on his wat-de-heck stick thingy* Uh, Magical Stick Attack!!
~Silence..
Monster: *sweatdrops* I think I'm gonna die.. and I thought that you watched Sailor Moon..
Duo: Hey, I did! Only that I paid more attention to their little skirts and the lon legs.
Uehara: *vein pops up in her forehead because she is a closet Sailor Moon lover* Whaaattt!!!! This is a disgrace to all Sailor Moon lovers!! Oops..
~Everybody stares at Uehara aka Black Shadow because now everybody knows that she pretends to act cool but is also a secret Sailor Moon lover.
Monster aka Blue Violet: Hey hey hey.. I think I'll tell this little secret to everybody else at school. *grins evilly*
Uehara: Noooo!!!! Don't do that!! Look, I'll pay you all richly if you'll all act nicely.
All the actors including BV: How much?
Uehara: Uh, I'll give you all my money. Except I'm not gonna pay Relena.
Relena: *pouts* No fair!! Why am I the only one who won't get paid?
Uehara: You're rich all ready.
Relena: Well, so is Quatre!
Uehara: Don't tell me that! If I don't do that, BV aka Monster will kill me!!
~The audience is getting restless and throws rotten veggies onto the stage because the show has somehow stopped cos the people on stage are arguing about money. The hentai audience scream for more lemony scenes... and throws lemons on stage to prove their point..
Uehara: OK! OK! I'll pay everyone so get acting. NOW!!
~The Gundam boys aka the Sailor Scouts are still mumbling uh, magical phrases on stage but still not getting a single one right. The audience boo and the monster is sweatdropping heavily..
Monster aka BV: Pssstt!! You're supposed to kill me all ready!!
Quatre: We know that but we don't know the magical power phrases!
Uehara: Didn't you even read the script?
Quatre: No.
Uehara: Oh, then do whatever you want and go and kill the monster!! ~The G-boys acknowledged this and ran away from the stage.
Uehara: Where are you going!!!! The show isn't over yet!!
~Suddenly there was a loud noise and there was a giant hole in the theater as five Gundam mobile suits walked into the now roofless theater.
Monster aka BV: *eyes bulging* You guys aren't really gonna kill me with that, are you?
Duo: Well, you said we can kill you however we want, right?
Monster aka BV: But I didn't say that you can really kill me!!
Wufei: Hn. Does it matter? After all, it would be good to get rid of you. There will be one less demented fanficcer to write demented stories about us ever again.
Monster aka BV: Aaaaahhhh!!!!!
Duo: Shinigami is gonna take you to hell! Let me squich you with me Gundam's foot. *SPLAT!!*
Duo: Oops.
Monster aka BV: Huh? I'm alive! I'm alive! *dances all around the place*
Relena: *wails* I'm flat! Now Heero won't love me anymore!!
Uehara: *blood sprouts* This was not supposed to happen! I.. don't wanna direct.. anymore.. *faints and some paramedics on standby rushed her off to the nearest hospital*
Heero: Muahahaha!! Relena is flat!!
~Magically, ratings for this movie rocketed sky-high because of this incredibly crazy plot, a director who keeps getting nose-bleeds, the 1x2 hentai scene, Relena getting flat and even more magical, the part where Trowa can actually sing the Sailor Moon theme song. In the end, this movie became a block-buster movie and became no. 1 at the charts, replacing X-men and What Lies Beneath and earned more money than Titanic ever could have gotten.
