Disclaimer: I do not own any of the rights to Gundam Wing.  I don't own the
rights to the song Opps! I Did it Again either, nor do I want them! Please
don't sue me! I only have $8.92 to my name. It's not worth it!

Warning: Right off I would like to apologize to a two groups: The Society for
the Prevention of Cruelty to Relena and Fans of Britney Spears (If there are
any!) I figure I should apologize before I get flamed to Hell and back.
Sorry! I also hope none of you are offended by just a tad (like one sentence)
of shonen ai or inappropriate clothing!
Rating: PG-13

" Opps! I Did it Again" by Duet (uncut)

    It was another typically beautiful day in the Sanc Kingdom. The sun was
shining, the birds were chirping, the rhythmic sound of Heero Yuy typing on
his omnipresent laptop echoed throughout the Gundam pilots' safe house.
    "Goddamn it Heero! Go someplace else and do work!" Duo yelled, totally
annoyed, and altogether out of character. It was bad enough Relena was over,
but now the incessant typing of the Wing Zero's pilot was blocking out the
sound from the television. Having Relena Peacecraft around without any other
distractions was enough to make the usually chipper pilot more than a little
bit cranky; And now that she decided she wanted to seduce Heero, he really
wanted to break something... preferably her legs.
    He, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei had decided to take a break from reeking
havoc on Oz soldiers to get some r and r, but Heero thought they were all
just being lazy and continued to work on whatever he did on that damn laptop
computer of his. "Probably looking up porn sites," Duo mused to himself. With
that, he continued to watch MTV, ignoring the fact the Heero was still in the
same room and still typing without end.
    Only another five minutes had passed before Duo thought his head was
going to explode! You know how when something is making noise and it really
annoys you, all you can hear is that sound? Well, that was exactly what was
happening to the poor American pilot. He stood up abruptly and announced he
was going to the kitchen. "Does anyone want anything while I'm in there?" he
asked.
"Make some popcorn," Wufei told him.
"We'll have a lemonade with two straws," Quatre said, snuggling close to
Trowa. The taller pilot nodded in agreement. (There Li-chan! Are you happy?
Your daily dose of 3+4 action!)
"And anything for you Relena-san?" Duo asked, acid in his voice.
"Your head on a stick," she replied quietly enough so that only he could hear
it.
"A diet coke it is!"
    When the Almighty Braided One was finally alone in the kitchen, it took
all of his self-restraint not to go Zero System on Relena and have
Deathscythe step on her. How dare she come into /his/ safe house and hit on
/his/ man! He shrugged off the feeling of wanting to kill the blonde girl and
started to prepare the drinks. Rummaging through the cabinets, looking for
popcorn, he spotted a box of Trowa's prescription sinus medicine.  His
curiosity got the better of him, and he flipped the package over, reading the
label. "Warning: May cause headaches, drowsiness, hallucinations, or vomiting
if consumed with caffeine." With an evil glint in his eye, he finished making
the drinks and went back into the other room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
 

    Relena must have fallen asleep, cause when she opened her eyes she was
alone in the living room of the Gundam pilot's safe house. The young princess
looked out the window and it had gotten dark out. "I can't believe they left
me here and went out!" she whined to the house plant next to her. She was
supposed to go on a date with Heero that night, but he bailed by saying that
he had to work with the other pilots on some super secret mission. Relena
didn't buy that crap, so she decided to invite herself over until they were
done. Little known to Relena at the time, Heero only said they would go out
someplace with her to shut her up.
    Relena felt totally dejected. Tears filled the girl's eyes. She shut them
quickly and decided to do something to draw her attention away from the fact
that she was alone. She would tell the pilots where to go and how to get
there when they got home. She started to mumble about how uncouth the G-boys
were for abandoning her, when her thoughts were interrupted by the very faint
sound of someone singing along with music.

Uh huh
Uh yeah
Uh huh

    She shook her head, figuring that it was just hearing things, and went
back to her complaining. The thought crossed her mind that maybe one of the
guys was still home, but who would be singing?

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

    Relena smacked herself on the forehead. "Girl, you gotta lay off the
sugar," she thought    silently. But when the music continued, she turned to
the direction that it was coming from and almost fell off the couch at the
sight she saw. The one and only Heero Yuy was walking down the stairs in a
candy apple red, vinyl cat suit, complete with knee-high bitch boots and
matching gloves.
    "Heero!" The name barely escaped her mouth, she was so in shock. "What's
going on Heero? Are you alright?" She rose to meet him, and possibly check
for knocks to the head, but was pushed back to the couch by a gloved hand.
Standing in front of her, he began to sing, dancing using a massive amount of
sex appeal.

"I think I did it again"
"I made you believe we're more than just friends"
"Oh baby"
"It might seem like a crush"
"But it doesn't mean that I'm serious"

    By then, Heero had started to strut around the couch, playing with
Relena's hair in such a way that it made her very uncomfortable. She started
to move away, but the pilot simply followed her. He sat down and crossed his
legs seductively.

"'Cause to lose all my senses"
"That is just so typically me"
"Oh baby, baby"

    Heero lightly tapped her on the nose and smiled widely as Duo, Quatre,
Trowa, and Wufei all climbed out from behind various objects in the room,
each wearing a black cat suit with gloves and bitch boots, pretty similar to
the one Heero was wearing. They started dancing around Relena looking like
they wanted to sacrifice her to a sun god. Just when the princess thought it
could get no worse, they started singing with Wing Zero's pilot.
"Oops!...I did it again"
"I played with your heart, got lost in the game"
"Oh baby, baby"
"Oops!...You think I'm in love"
"That I'm sent from above"
"I'm not that innocent"

    With the song continuing on, Duo took a seat on Relena's lap and started
to kick his legs up in the air gleefully like a little kid...until Heero
pushed him onto the floor and got right in Relena's face.

"You see my problem is this"
"I'm dreaming away"
"Wishing that heroes, they truly exist"
"I cry, watching the days"
"Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways"

    They pilots had linked arms in front of the couch in a straight line and
started to sway, seductively. Breaking the chain, they blew kisses at Relena,
while Heero came forward, dancing. (Think Britney Spears in "Crazy" while she
flashes the audience.)

"But to lose all my senses"
"That is just so typically me"
"Baby, oh"

    The Chorus Line had reformed in the background now joining in Heero's
flashy pre-choreographed, skanky dance.

"Oops!...I did it again"
"I played with your heart, got lost in the game"
"Oh baby, baby"
"Oops!...You think I'm in love"
"That I'm sent from above"
"I'm not that innocent"
"Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah"
"Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah"

    Heero moved out of the way, revealing the other pilots standing around
the television set, making "flashback" motions with their arms. An image
appeared on the screen of Heero and Relena standing in front of Wing Zero
before a battle.

"All aboard"
"Heero, before you go, there's something I want you to have"
"Oh, it's beautiful, but wait a minute, isn't this...?"
"Yeah, yes it is"
"But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end"
"Well baby, I went down and got it for you"
"Oh, you shouldn't have"

    Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei had regrouped and circled the couch again,
going lower and lower each rotation until they finally disappeared.
"Oops!...I did it again to your heart"
"Got lost in this game, oh baby"
"Oops!...You think that I'm sent from above"
"I'm not that innocent"
"Oops!...I did it again"
"I played with your heart, got lost in the game"
"Oh baby, baby"
"Oops!...You think I'm in love"
"That I'm sent from above"

    Heero, standing in front of Relena, shook his finger menacingly.

"I'm not that innocent"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    Relena woke up screaming, frantically looking around, hoping that the
evil pilots had disappeared. She was dead wrong. Duo, Quatre, Trowa, and
Wufei were all looking at her like /she/
was the one prancing around in a vinyl cat suit. "Save me!" she shrieked as
she ran out the door. The pilots just shrugged.
"It sounded as if she was having a bad dream," Quatre suggested, still
confused.
 "More like hallucinations," Trowa added.
 "I guess that's what happens with you hang around Dorothy too much," Duo
suggested laughing nervously.
"Duo," Wufei growled, "what did you do to Relena?"
The American put his arms behind his head and slowly began to back away from
the disgruntled Chinese boy. "Me? Oh nothing."
"What did you do?" Trowa asked a little more fiercely.
    The braided pilot pulled a box of sleeping pills out from behind his back
and grinned wildly. "Opps! I did it again!"

    END!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

End Note: Does anyone else find it amusing that everything I write, even if
it doesn't start out to be totally about Duo, ends up that way? When I had
the idea for this little fic-let, Duo was nothing more than a background
dancer. But after way too much Pepsi and a little writing, the introduction
turned into a half-hour in the life of Duo Maxwell. It took some major
editing, but I finally got back on track! Yup, I know it was really strange
anyway, but I hope you at least got a little amusement out of the mental
picture of Duo in a tight black cat suit. Please send any comments or flames
to FrootCake22@aol.com Thanks!