"I-I don't know what to say.. I didn't know.." trailed off Trowa feebly, his head hung in shame. "If I had known.. if I had been a little more understanding.."
"No, please. Don't torture yourself with these thoughts," begged Kalika. "What's done is done. I shouldn't have lost my temper and said those things to you. Gomen."
"What are you apologizing for?" asked Trowa with a bitter chuckle. "You didn't do anything - you didn't break your brother's heart like I did."
Kalika winced momentarily, as if she had been slapped in the face. She opened her mouth to speak but she was interrupted before she could even get the words out of her mouth.
"Hiya guys!" called Duo cheerfully, waving at them. Kalika forced a pleasant smile on her face and a mask of indifference replaced Trowa's grieve-stricken expression.
"Did a lot of catching up all ready?" asked Duo, clapping a hand onto Trowa's shoulder. The braided boy felt himself becoming a bit queasy as he felt the muscles beneath his palm stiffen slightly. Duo gave the taller man a questioning glance as if to say, "What happened?", only to have him cast his gaze elsewhere.
Kalika caught the whole exchange and shifted her whole weight onto one foot and to the other in a nervous gesture. She cleared her throat. "Trowa, please," she said softly. "Don't place all the blame on yourself. You'll make your life even harder if you do."
Trowa felt like snorting but he caught the sight of Kalika looking positively guilty and distressed and he felt a twinge of pity in his heart. He and Quatre weren't the only ones who have suffered. It was obvious that things weren't going too great for Quatre's sisters either, seeing the pained look etched onto the blonde's face.
"I will never be able to let go of the feelings of guilt inside me," said Trowa quietly.
"Gomen. I really should apologize for my outburst," said Kalika. "It's just that things haven't been so good - I shouldn't go around putting blame on other stuff. it was really childish of me and I apologize."
"OK, so now we're all best friends again, right?" butted in Duo. "Cos I hate it when people fight you know. Say what, let's all go out for some ice-cream and have some fun?"
Kalika smiled and even Trowa managed one of his rare microscopic smiles at Duo's words and the tension was broken. "Only if you pay for the ice-cream," kidded Kalika.
"No can do. I'm broke!" Duo said with a pout. " And I'll probably stay that way till I become a famous TV-star!"
"Yeah, like in another thirty-three million years?" Trowa rolled his eyes.
"How about in another two-hundred and forty-three billion years?" piped in Kalika with a twinkle in her eyes.
"I'd be a fossil all ready by then!" protested Duo and they laughed as they kidded around with each other. Duo hid a grin behind his hand as he congratulated himself for bringing things back to normal.
"You should have tried out for the auditions, Tro," said Duo as he munched on his chocolate frosted choco donut. "It would be a really great experience for you, you know. And you've been a clown for quite some time so you'd be terrific at all this acting stuff."
"Yeah, you should have tried out," piped in Kalila.
The trio was sitting in the window booth of Desert Island, a cute café that sold pastries, shakes, ice-cream.. all things nice and all things fattening. This was Duo's favourite place to pig out and it was his idea that they come here since Kalila had insisted on treating them to hi-tea to celebrate Duo's success in getting the lead role in the upcoming TV series.
"No fair! Two against one!" protested Trowa with a chuckle. "Really, I'm not interested in showbiz. Why are you both insisting that I become an actor?"
"Well, ya got the looks, the talent, the I'm-so-cool-and-mysterious attitude that gets the girls drooling," said Kalila with a wink. "And come one, which sane person would pass the opportunity to become rich and famous and get ambushed by adoring fans day after day?"
"So I'm not sane?" asked Trowa with a raised eyebrow.
"Yep. You're a mentally sadistic clown," said Duo as he grabbed another donut from the plate. This time was a donut with custard filling, which oozed out as he bit into it. "Mentally sadistic clowns aren't exactly sane are they?"
"I guess not," joked the blonde woman. "Uh-oh.. looks like we've been hanging out with a lunatic all this time!"
Trowa pretended to be mad but he couldn't help smiling at those two's antics. He tuned our their constant chatter for a moment while he remembered what happened about an hour ago...
Did you even know that you left him in tears?" Kalila challenged.
Trowa froze, a cold chill stabbing at his heart. He had made his dear angel cry?
"You didn't know, did you?" asked Kalila, more softly. "You just thought if you left him, then that's that but you made him suffer, Trowa. You broke Quatre's heart. If you hadn't just left like that..."
The sentence was left unfinished but Trowa could only guess what she wanted to say. If he hadn't just left Quatre, then his blonde angel wouldn't be in the state he was in right now.
The green-eyed man couldn't help sighing inwardly. He felt stupid, guilty... he felt like a heartless bastard. His poor angel was suffering because of his selfishness. He wished he could turn back time or he wished he could find a way to ask for Quatre's forgiveness. But it was probably too late for all that anyway.
He hoped Quatre wasn't mad at him. It would be dreadful if he were.. he would never forgive himself.
At least Kalila wasn't mad at him. He thought she was especially when she had slapped him and called him a selfish bastard. But she had been understanding and quite sympathetic with him and he was grateful for that. He was grateful but that didn't mean that he was happy. He still thought of himself as a heartless bastard.
And Trowa Barton would never ever forgive himself for hurting his blonde angel for as long as he lived...
"You forgot," said Duo, his tone somewhat accusingly, to Trowa later that night. But he wasn't mad or annoyed because he had a twinkle in both his eyes.
"Forgot what?" said Trowa absently as he flipped through a sports magazine as he sat on his favourite black leather armchair. "If you're asking about your favourite Raspberry Ripple ice-cream, I bought it all ready and it's in the freezer."
"No! I wasn't asking about that!" said Duo, rolling his eyes. "I was meaning that you forgot to congratulate me."
"Ne, you could have at least said that more enthusiastically."
"So, what am I supposed to do?" retorted Trowa. "Shake a bunch of pom-poms and cheer your name like some squealing pig?"
"That would be nice.." mused Duo. "Minus the squealing like a pig part, of course."
"You're impossible," said Trowa, shaking his head.
"That's me, the one and only Duo Maxwell!" said the braided American with a big grin. "And soon to be Duo Maxwell, famous and handsome heartthrob dominating the entertainment industry and also dominating every girls' room with tonnes and tonnes of posters of me."
"Getting a bit cocky aren't we?" said Trowa dryly. "Just because you got a role in that upcoming TV series doesn't automatically make you a star, you know."
"Maybe I won't be a star as in like the stars in the sky, but I'll be a TV-star," joked Duo. "Man, it's a big shame you didn't audition - there was this role I'm sure you'll get hands down if you auditioned for it."
"What role was it?"
"The role of the school janitor."
"Hahaha. Very funny," muttered the unibanged man sourly before continuing on with his magazine reading.
"Hey, you're reading that dumb magazine again!" complained Duo. "Stop reading that or else I'll have nobody else to talk to."
"You can talk to yourself," said Trowa sarcastically. "Why don't you turn on the TV or something?"
Duo promptly picked up the remote control and flipped on the cartoon channel, which was showing a moronic cartoon of 'Cow and Chicken'.
Quatre came home stiff and tired. It was right after midnight and he was finally home after two days of sleeping in his office. Sleeping on top of mountains of paperwork proved to be a very uncomfortable experience, having to endure a sore neck and equally sore and tired body.
If possible, he didn't want to face sleeping another dreadful night of silence and awkwardness with his wife - since obviously, she expected him to make love to her and he did not want that. It was amazing how he could ever have avoided having sex with Arabella for so long. Last time he checked, he escaped having sex with Arabella for exactly 24 days and he still had to figure out ways to avoid that for the rest of the years to come - or at least, till the day he died.
'Maybe I'll slip in through the backyard and into the kitchen. Then I'll have to have to sneak into one of the guestrooms in the most secluded areas of the house,,' thought Quatre, as he got out of his white BMW which he parked not far away from his house to avoid anybody in his house - mainly his wife - to hear the sounds of the vehicles engine that would mark his coming home. 'I'll have to make sure I get up really early tomorrow so I can run away to the office…"
It was ironic. He was running away from his own house. His own family. His own wife. Just so he could spend more hours doing his work and all the extra work enough to last till the end of time. He never imagined that this would happen to him. Heck. He never even once imagined that everything that was happening to him now would have ever happened to him.
'Good thing I brought the house keys,' thought Quatre to himself gratefully. He fished into his pants' pocket for the keys as he approached the kitchen door. At least he wouldn't have to announce his arrival by ringing the doorbell. He unlocked the kitchen door quietly and slipped in, only to be greeted with a sudden flash of light.
The dark kitchen was suddenly very bright and he had to shield his eyes with his hands before he could get used to his surroundings.
"I-Iria," he stammered, seeing his elder sister in the kitchen wearing a pink silk bathrobe. He felt guilty, like a thief that has been caught red-handed but at the same time he couldn't help heaving a sigh of relief. Good thing it wasn't Arabella. "What are you doing here?"
"Keeping Arabella company. She's been very lonely ever since after your honeymoon." This Iria said pointedly.
"She mustn't be lonely if you're here to keep her company," muttered Quatre, irritated. "Doesn't she or any one of you understand that I have work to do? I don't have the time to laze around or to have fun."
"I recall that no matter how busy you were, you always had time for your family and friends," retorted Iria, getting irritated herself. "And Trowa."
"Don't mention his name to me anymore!" growled Quatre. "I don't want to remember him anymore. He means nothing to me, you hear?"
Iria was taken aback by her brother's uncharacteristic behaviour. Her sweet brother... or used to be sweet brother was never like this. And this pained her very much. "Quatre.." she whispered. "Why are you like this? Why did you have to change for the worse..?"
"What do you mean? I haven't changed at all. I am still Quatre Raberba Winner," said Quatre monotonously in a sort of voice, which would have made Heero Yuy proud. "If you'll excuse me, I have to get some sleep before I get to work later."
"Are you.. going to sleep in your room?" asked Iria hesitantly even though she knew what the answer was.
"Of course NOT," the blonde man said as if Iria had asked him the most stupidest thing in the whole world and brushed past her without even giving her a second glance.
Quatre tiptoed up the stairs and in the hallway till he reached his destination - the guestroom that was at the farthest end of the house. Almost silently, he slipped into the room and locked the door behind him before diving into the comfortable quilts and pillows adorning the huge bed.
After a few moments, the blonde realized that he wasn't able to fall asleep any time soon even though his body was aching like crazy and was screaming at him to get some rest. His mind kept showing images of memories he wanted to forget - like that dreadful day Trowa left him and his horrible marriage to Arabella.
Actually, the wedding day was by far, much better than the day he and his wife went to Paris for their honeymoon. It was a total disaster. The truth was he didn't really hate Arabella - she was a nice and cheery person. The only problem was that Quatre didn't love her and she obviously thought he did and that is why he married her.
He remembered on the first night of their honeymoon. All newly-weds will spend a night of passion but not him and Arabella. His wife expected them to of course - she had bought sexy lingerie for the occasion but he, Quatre R. Winner will not have sex with anybody he didn't love. He had avoided that by mixing in crushed sleping tablets into his wife's drink.
And for the other nights, he had escaped having sex with Arabella by working late hours at the office and going away on long business trips. Some of those 'business trips' he attended to were unnecessary but he went anyway just to avoid Arabella. Things were not easy for him. Between being the master of his father's company and being a husband to somebody he didn't care for... he was still amazed that he was still alive. Everyday he felt drained and exhausted from over-working and stress and he didn't know till when he will be able to hold up.
'How long will I have to endure this kind of hellish life?' he thought sleepily as sleep threatened to overcome him. 'How long....'
Then he was fast asleep where he dreamed of the happier times he had when he was still with Trowa.
"Trowa! Trowa!" Duo called loudly, trying to shake the sleeping green-eyed man awake who has whimpering and thrashing underneath his blankets which had somehow twisted and gotten entangled with his arms and legs. "TROWA!"
Trowa immediately sat up in bed with a gasp. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Duo beside him. "Duo!" he muttered. "What are you doing here?"
"I was trying to wake you up," Duo said. "You were whimpering in your sleep and thrashing around on the bed like a maniac! I take it that you were having a nightmare?"
"If you can even call it that," said Trowa dryly. "There weren't any one-eyed monster with green hair in my dream."
"Gimme a break," said Duo impatiently. "So what if there weren't any one-eyed monster having a bad hair day? And shut your mouth, Barton! I know you were about to tell me to leave you alone and go to bed. I know that you've been having nightmares and I demand to know what it was about."
"It was nothing really," mumbled Trowa.
"Nothing my ass," retorted the braided man. "Fine. If you're not going to tell me about it, I'll ask you something else. What were you talking with Kalika today while I was gone?"
Trowa hesitated but finally gave in told everything after Duo had begged him and then threatened him to.
"So that was everything that happened," said Trowa finally. "The end. Finis. Into the book it goes. Are you happy all ready? Or do you still want to continue with this 'interrogation' of yours?"
"Yeah, one more thing," said Duo, ignoring Trowa's sarcastic comment. "What were you dreaming of anyway?"
"I.. I was dreaming that I left him and he was crying - begging me not to leave him," said Trowa quietly. "The sight of him crying made my heart ache but that wasn't the worst thing. I dreamt that his life was falling apart and every bit of compassion I know that is in him was gone and he had become a heartless man. More like somebody without a life anymore."
"Oh," said Duo and that was all he could say. For once, he was speechless and he didn't know what he should say. "I guess I'll go back to sleep then. Uh, pleasant dreams, Tro."
"Yeah, pleasant dreams," mumbled Trowa wryly as he flopped back onto his bed and pulled the covers over his face. "And switch off the lights before you leave the room."
Duo obliged him and did just that before closing the door behind him.
Once he reached the guestroom - now the room he was occupying, he quietly shut the door behind him and flung himself onto his bed. He rolled around on his bed for a while to make himself comfortable.
The braided American sighed. "Tro's never gonna love me in the way I want to be loved," he whispered to himself. "He still loves Quatre and he only likes me as a close friend and nothing more. I guess I shouldn't be disappointed - after all I don't really love him, too. But still..."
"Why can't things be perfect just the way we want them to be?" A lone tear slid down Duo's cheek. "Why can't we just be together with the people we love?"
Did this part make any sense at all? I've gotten confused myself and I'm the writer! Actually, I think that this part kinda suck and it's boring. Not to mention that the story is not well-organized. But still...
Gimme feedback! Gimme gimme gimme or.. omae o korosu. Uh, oh excuse my temporary retardedness. Let me rephrase that: Please send me feedback in order for me to write a great Part 3 as soon as possible. *smiles like an idiot* I'll be waiting for feedback so send them to me at email@example.com. Uh.. feedback? Feedback? I'm waiting here you know!!