"Daddy..."
"No! No, Pan, I don't want to hear it!"
"Daddy, I've met someone. An American."
"Are you crazy?" Gohan grabbed his daughter by her shoulders and shook her. Pan cried out and grabbed her stomach.
"Daddy, no! The baby!" she screamed and Gohan stumbled back. His face crumpled in disappointment as he looked from Pan's tear-stained eyes to her belly. Pan was always small, so not much showed except for the slightest bulge.
"An American, Pan? *Now?!* Have you forgotten they--!" Gohan choked off in a sob. "Have you forgotten they were the ones who killed your mother?!" Pan squeezed her eyes shut as a tear streaked down her face. Gohan collapsed against a wall and buried his face in his hands. Shaking, Pan lowered her gaze to her father's hand. He still wore his wedding ring. ::How *could* I have forgotten, Daddy?::
"But it wasn't him, Daddy. It wasn't Nicholas!"
"It just as well should have been!" Gohan shouted, body wracked with anger and hatred. ::Those filthy Yanks have taken my wife and I'll be *damned* if I let them take my daughter, too!::
"I forbid you to ever see that... that kusottare again!" Pan went rigid with defiance.
"You can't stop me. I love him." Gohan snorted.
"So you say."
"So I *know.* I'm leaving for the United States as soon as he gets out in a few months." Gohan straightened and approached his daughter. It wasn't until then that he saw the packed suitcase behind her.
"If you step out that door," he snarled, wagging a finger in Pan's face, "don't you *ever* come back. *EVER!*" Such an ultimatum from her father was like a slap to her face, but Pan was determined. She needed a better life than this. She was tired of living in ruins, of seeing the sick and dead carried out of her neighborhood, of staying in a shelter that was just a few feet away from the remains of her house. It ripped her heart out every day to look and see that house, knowing it was her mother's final resting place.
"Well," Pan sighed as she stooped to pick up her luggage. "I was hoping you'd come with me, Daddy. We could start a new life in America! It wouldn't have to be this way if you just--"
"Never!" Gohan spat and turned away. Pan licked the salt off her lips and slipped in front of her father.
"Daddy, I love you. Please always remember that. I just can't stay here anymore," she whimpered. She pressed her mouth against his cheek and hugged him, even though he refused to acknowledge her. Pan wiped her nose with the back of her sleeve and walked briskly out the door. She looked over her shoulder one more time to see her father unmoving. In front of her: her mother's grave. She walked up to the house. Pan kissed her gloved hand and ran it along the frame of the front door.
"I love you, Mommy," she whispered and took off down the street. She kept her chin up so that none would see through the blanket of happiness and into the cold, empty depths of her heart. ::Nicholas, we shall start a wonderful life together. Just you, me... and our children,:: Pan thought as she smiled. He was the one thing that was able to melt the lump of ice in her chest and get her to really feel. She loved him.
* * * * *
Love always,
Pan>
* * * * *
"See, Midori?" Pan breathed as she pointed at the ship. Midori stared, eyes glittering, and cooed in her mother's arms. Pan balanced her child in one arm and dragged their belongings in the other. She approached the ticket booth and smiled. The man behind the counter did not smile back.
"What is it?" Pan took a deep breath.
"Good afternoon," she said. "My daughter Midori and I have tickets waiting for us. I am Son Pan. I believe the tickets are in my name." The man frowned and disappeared. Pan kept her smile as papers rustled and the man came back empty handed. He shook his head.
"Nothing. Next!" An older gentleman behind her started to push her out of the way, but Pan shoved back.
"Gomen! Could you please look under Nicholas Daly?" The man's frown deepened. "Please," she begged, a desperate look crossing her face. The man sighed and disappeared once more. Again the rustling of papers; again nothing.
"I'm sorry. Please move out of the way now." Pan was tossed aside and she turned around helplessly. Midori began to fuss and squirm into Pan's side. A tiny sob emitted hungrily from her mouth and Pan jiggled her up and down on her hip absently.
::What's going on?:: she thought frantically to herself as she scanned the area in vain for a familiar face. She and her infant daughter of no more than two months were swallowed up in the crowd as it surged forward.
"All aboard!" called the captain one last time before the ship set sail for the Americas. Pan slumped to the ground against a wooden post and held back her tears of confusion. Midori wailed aloud now and the heavy suitcase was strewn carelessly at Pan's feet. ::Nicholas, what have you done?::
* * * * *
"Thank you for taking her on such short notice, Kiri-san," Pan breathed quickly as she shuffled around her tiny apartment room buttoning her blouse and hopping around on one foot. Her shoe would not go on; it was too small, but they were the only ones she had. With a final shove, her foot squashed painfully in and Pan winced. She turned and brushed a stray piece of hair from her eyes, then smiled as Midori giggled happily as Kiri bounced her on her knee.
"It's no problem at all, Pan. Midori's always a pleasure!" the older woman replied, eyes twinkling. Pan felt a tug at her heart. Kiri reminded her of her mother. She had, in fact, been a friend of Videl's during school and happened to be walking by the port the day Pan was supposed to leave. The old woman had spotted Pan and went white, running up to her stiffly and studying her carefully.
"V-Videl!" she had gasped. It struck a nerve in Pan's chest and tears sprang to her eyes.
"I am her daughter," Pan replied, hugging Midori closer to her. Kiri had gone to school with Videl and had lost touch with her over the years. She cried along with Pan when she heard of her old friend's death and took Pan in. She had set the young mother up with a job and Pan had quickly gotten her own apartment, even if it was rather small. But she was a little relieved she didn't put Kiri out anymore than she already had. Kiri lived one floor up from her in the building and often watched little Midori during Pan's work hours.
"See you later, Kiri-san!" Pan called as she grabbed her apron and purse. She paused halfway out the door and jogged back to Midori. She planted a small kiss on her forehead and ran a hand over the pale girl's cheek.
"Mommy will be back in a little while," she whispered and left.
* * * * *
"Miss! My coffee!"
"Hayaku! My meal will get cold!"
"Hai, hai," mumbled Pan as she made her rounds again in the large cafe nestled in the outskirts of Tokyo. She refilled an elderly gentleman's coffee, not thinking twice as the warm liquid jumped out of the pot and onto her hand. A stranger walked in and was seated by Amejisuto, the cafe owner. He turned to Pan and tossed a pad of paper at her.
"Get this one."
"All right," she sighed and put the coffee pot back on the burner. On her way, she noticed this new fellow as strikingly handsome and well built. He was dressed in a gray business suit and a matching hat donned his head. She stopped a moment to smoothe her frazzled hair and shake the wrinkles out of her uniform. She squared her shoulders and walked briskly to the young man's table.
"Welcome to the Jueru Cafe," Pan announced in a clear, confident voice. "May I start you off with a cup of coffee or tea?" The man took his hat off and a mess of purple hair cascaded out. His bangs he brushed from his face and straightened the ponytail of long, fine silky strands. Pan felt her heart skip a beat and she nearly fainted when he looked up at her with icy blue eyes and smiled. Two rows of perfect white teeth beamed up at her and she found herself growing a little warm in the face.
"Actually," the man said, his thick tenor voice seeping into Pan's ears, "water would be just fine." Pan blinked back at him. After a few seconds of unresponse, the man chuckled but his smile did not waiver.
"Water, please," he repeated. Pan snapped to attention.
"R-right. Sorry, sir," she gulped and shuffled away. Pan bustled around in the kitchen, shouts of impatience from waiting customers following her all the way. One of the cooks, also Amejisuto's wife, circled a hand around Pan's upper arm.
"Pan," she said, "why don't you take a break. I can do this you know." Pan smiled at the middle-aged woman and shook her head.
"Arigatou, Shinju, but I'm all right. I need the money anyway," Pan replied as she gently shook off from Shinju and grabbed three orders. ::Damn that Seigyoku!:: she seethed inside. ::She was supposed to be here nearly three hours ago! Now I'm having to wait on the whole place.::
"Here you are, ma'am. I'm sorry about the wait," Pan said as she set a plate down in front of a posh-looking woman. The woman sneered at her and picked at her food. She placed the other two orders with the respectable customers and went back to the kitchen for a glass of water.
"Have you decided on your meal, sir?" she asked, returning to the purple-haired man. He took the water from her and sipped it.
"Well, no," he said as he leaned back in the booth. Pan sighed and shifted her weight to her right hip. "I'm really not that hungry. But I could go for some dessert... and maybe someone to share it with." The man grinned up at Pan and she straightened. Her eyes grew wide and she laughed nervously.
"Iie, I can't! See, I'm the only waitress here now and I can't take a break until..." Pan was cut off by the jangling of bells on the front door. Seigyoku burst in, out of breath and ragged. Pan turned and glared at her, but the blonde just blushed and shrugged sheepishly. Pan turned nervously back to the man.
"How about now?" he teased. "Come on. It'll be on me. Dining alone isn't much fun," he added. Pan gave in.
"Okay," she groaned. "What'll you have?"
"Surprise me." Pan left and confronted her late coworker in the changing room.
"Seigyoku!" she hissed. "Where the hell have you been?!"
"Gomen nasai, Panny-chan!" Seigyoku begged, blonde curls bouncing as she tugged on her shoes. "I was on a date and lost track of time!"
"Now you listen here!" Pan began, wagging a finger in Seigyoku's face. Her angry outburst was cut short when she noticed a sparkle out of the corner of her eye. She looked down at Seigyoku's left hand. A gold ring with a small diamond glittered in the dim lighting and Pan's jaw dropped open.
"Kohaku proposed," she giggled. Pan laughed and threw her arms around her friend.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?!"
"Well, you were yelling at me!" Seigyoku laughed with her and hugged her back. Pan tossed the pad of paper at her.
"Get to work," she grinned and strolled back out into the main room. She was suddenly feeling rather bold. Grabbing two slices of apple pie from the counter, she plopped down across from the purple-haired man.
"So," she said, forking a bite into her mouth, "what's your name?"
"Trunks," he said and took another sip of water. "You?"
"Son Pan." She stuck her hand out and Trunks took it. Hers slipped perfectly into his and she froze for a moment. He sensed it too.
"Do you work tomorrow?" he fumbled and let go, slightly embarrassed. Pan nodded, her mouth still full.
"Open til' five," she swallowed and pointed at his water. He motioned for her to proceed and she took a drink. Trunks' pie remained untouched as he stared wonderingly at the petite waitress before him.
"Where do you live?" She paused carefully, then answered.
"White Cedar apartment building. Number 51." Without a word, Trunks pulled a pen from his coat pocket and scrawled something on the back of a napkin. He folded it once, placed the pen back into his pocket and stood. He grabbed his hat, put it on and tipped it at Pan.
"Son Pan," Trunks said and handed her the napkin. He turned on his heel and was out the door into the late evening. Pan stopped mid-chew and unfolded the napkin.
A grin spread over Pan's lips as she sat back in her seat. She got caught up in her thoughts and jumped as a hand clamped down on her shoulder.
"You've been here long enough," Seigyoku smiled at her. "Amejisuto says you can go home to your daughter now." Pan nodded and stood. She undressed slowly out of her uniform in the back and walked home in a happy daze.
* * * * *