OVERVIEW: I’m reviewing the game “Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends” for the SNES in this review. It is based off of the TV show, bearing the same name. When I first played this game, I was appalled. It opened with cheery musik jingling away as Thomas pulled up, with a huge grin on his artificial creepy face. I immediately figured it was a clever ploy disguising the hidden gore, violence, and sex that would be in this game. I pressed start and, to my dismay, that wasn’t the case. The game is essentially a couple mini-games put together on a track (how cute huh?). You “start Thomas” by clicking on him and he sails across the tracks to the first mini-game; The Sliding Puzzle. You can just move the arrow over and SELECT the sliding puzzle (or any other mission for that matter) without even “starting Thomas”. I guess starting Thomas up and watching him sail along the tracks (if by sail I mean scoot….VERY slowly) would send any 5 year old in a fit of glee (although by the time Thomas reaches his destination, the 5 year old will be in it’s mid-teens).
GRAPHICS: These graphics suck. Horrible. Thomas is so very pixilated, and so is the rest of his hellish world. There is a small golf course as decoration, but there is a flag (insinuating a hole) in a sand trap. Now, I’m no golf player, but I know that the hole is GENERALLY on the green, no? Someone didn’t do their research. I hope they fired someone for that.
CHALLENGE: The game seemed VERY easy to me. The game comes with a “difficulty” setting based on age. It asks, before playing, how old you are. The options are “4 of under”, “5-7”, or “8 or older”. Being older then 8, I selected this one and expected puzzles to bust my ass to pieces. Not so. The game was still easy. Perhaps it is meant for autistic monkeys wearing blindfolds, because there is no way to lose. Try as I might, no dice. In the Jigsaw Puzzle game, I tried putting the pieces in the wrong spot, but instead of making a loud buzzing sound and laughing at me or displaying a derogatory message to my self esteem, the game flashed where the right piece went….for 15 seconds! This game almost insults my intelligence. Anybody over 8 years old will sail through this game, and anyone UNDER 4 will probably try to eat the game because they’re comprehension level is so low, they don’t know it’s a game NOR that Thomas is even a tank engine.
REPLAY VALUE: Hmm…I guess if you want to be suicidal, you could play this over and over again until you can’t take it. Or, if you do find this game fun, you probably don’t have a brain, so you won’t remember beating it (by the way, you can't beat it. Thomas just repeats along the tracks playing the same damn games until you submit and shut it off). The most replay value you can get out of this game is to record yourself smashing it with a sledge hammer and then replaying the tape.
FUN FACTOR: I think I should skip this one. The most fun came from when I beat that stupid bus in a drag race (Yes you drag race a bus in this game. It’s horrible actually. I actually lost once because they don’t tell you what to do! And isn’t drag racing…um…illegal?).
CONTROL: Seeing as the game doesn’t tell you how to control anything and basically just sets you off on your own, I don’t have much sympathy for the controls. You essentially hit the B button the whole time, although anything works I guess. Every button does the same thing, except the arrow keys. The game was so easy, you just keep hitting B and you win. It’s easy to control IF you know how to control it, but since you have no idea what your supposed to be in this infernal game, the controls must first be figured out (maybe it’s an adventure? Finding out the controls to the game?).
OVERALL: I give this game 24 and a half mutant plagued pickles, which means it’s bad, because even ONE mutant plagued pickle is enough to kill someone or inflict serious ailments. The graphics suck, the controls are a mystery, this is the only game I know of with a negative fun factor (in that is sucks fun away from you), there is no replay value whatsoever, and it isn’t a challenge. Do I suggest building a time machine and traveling back to 1993 to spend $20 on this game? No. One of the worst games I have ever played, next to Romance of the 3 Kingdoms, Bigfoot, and Rolling Thunder.