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The Multiple Personalities of Ash Ketchum

"You always said that I had multiple personalities..." SHEdaisy, "Lucky 4 You"

Now what on earth do I mean by this? Ash with multiple presonality disorder? No. I mean that there's a great diversity in the was Ash is percieved.

There's Ash in the cartoon. Happy-go-lucky, a bit dense, general do-gooder. We all know him. He is the base of all these people. Or, as is obvious, the basis of...

*loud crash* ASH IN FANFICTION.

Why didn't I just say that to begin with? Easy. I'm insane. ^~ *gets pelted with various objects* Aw, c'mon!

In that fortune-telling book episode... I'd peg Ash as Eevee, evolution-type. Powerful as it is and can become anything. Now obviously I could use some evidence to support this. I could do it in words... But being an author, I can think of a much better way... *grins evilly*


[Our scene begins with Ash, looking around nervously. He is in an area of white space, sitting on one of many stools arranged in a circle.]

Ash: [in thought] What the heck?! Stools? How did I get here? Where AM I? C'mon, Ketchum, don't get too nervous. You can handle this. Um, is anyone else here? [aloud] Hello?

[Mrs. Ketchum appears out of nowhere, a smile on her face.]

Ash: Mom?!

Mrs. Ketchum: Oh, hi, Ash.

Ash: What are you doing here?! [in thought] What am _I_ doing here?

[Suddenly, people who look oddly like Ash appear on all but one of the other stools.

  • 'Master Ash', who appears to be three years older than Ash, looks around, scratching his head.
  • 'Angst Ash', the same age as Ash, doesn't even seem to notice what's happened, in a deep depression.
  • 'Evil Ash', 13, looks around and rolls his eyes.
  • 'Lovelorn Ash', 13, doesn't notice either; he just stares dreamily into space.
  • 'Dark Ash', in his twenties, looks around and snorts.
  • 'Stupid Ash', 12, looks at them oddly and points Dexter at them.
  • 'Hero Ash', 14, looks around and scratches his head.]

    Hero Ash: What the heck is going on? Where's the army I was fighting?

    Ash: Army?!

    Dark Ash: Get used to the idea, kid.

    Lovelorn Ash: [jolts out of his daydream] Were they CUTE armies?

    Evil Ash: They weren't MY armies, were they?

    Ash: YOUR armies?!

    Evil Ash: The armies of Darkness.

    Stupid Ash: Wait a second... You aren't Pokemon!!

    Angst Ash: [jolts] Pokemon?! Where?! Don't let me near them!!

    [Everyone but Evil Ash stares at him.]

    Stupid Ash: Why wouldn't you wanna be with Pokemon? Pokemon are life!

    Ash: [blinks] Er...

    Mrs. Ketchum: You see, these are all your possible selves, Ash.

    Ash: WHAT?!

    Dark Ash: You could become any one of us. Trust me. [A shadow falls over him] I know.

    [All but Stupid, Evil, and Angst Ash stare at him.]

    Dark Ash: [muttering] Fools, stupid fools, can't believe I was ever that naive...

    Evil Ash: Oh please.

    Stupid Ash: Um, what are your names, things that are not Pokemon?

    [All the Ashes except Evil and Dark say, "Ash." Evil Ash says, "Ashkeraz". Dark Ash says, "Ashura", at which Angst Ash screams and huddles into the fetal position.]

    Ash: Jeeze, what's with him?

    Dark Ash: [rolls his eyes] And people say _I'm_ too melodramatic... _I_ have an excuse... It's the apocolypse...

    [Everyone but Evil and Stupid Ash stares at him.]

    Ash: Er... [gestures at the Ash opposite him, who happens to be Lovelorn Ash] So, er, tell us about yourself...Ash.

    Mrs. Ketchum: I'll just leave you boys to talk.[turns on the radio]

    Lovelorn Ash: Well, I travel around with the most gorgeous person in the world!! [beams]

    Stupid Ash: Auggh! Bad! Other--things... Than Pokemon... Mental breakdown... AAAAH! [runs to the radio and sits by it so the music drowns out all sound]

    Lovelorn Ash: Her name is Misty! She's so cute, especially when she's mad! She pretends she hates me, but I know she isn't following me around for her bike!! She LOVES me!

    Ash: Arrgh! [runs to the radio, sitting by Stupid Ash]

    Lovelorn Ash: And not only is _she_ cute, but there's also the other person who travels with me, Br--

    [Master and Hero Ash scream, running to join the others at the radio. A minute later, Master Ash ducks his head out to see if it's safe.]

    Lovelorn Ash: And then there's Pi--

    [Dark and Angst Ash jolt and run to the safety of the radio. After a moment, Master Ash checks again.]

    Lovelorn Ash: And then there's Chi--

    Evil Ash: Holy *^%*, man! [joins the others]

    Dark Ash: [singing loudly with the radio] She said it's cold, it feels like Independence Day... [ducks his head out] He's stopped.

    [Cheers erupt from the other Ashes, who return to their stools, thwapping Lovelorn Ash a good one on the way.'

    Dark Ash: [mutters] Pervert... [normal] I guess you want to know about me.

    [Everyone except Evil Ash nods.]

    Dark Ash: Well, my life was ruined, the one I loved dumped me, my rival is in charge of the world, which by the way is in ruins, and I'm fighting massive evil armies to try to stop the world from ending, though I'm not quite sure why.

    Master Ash: That's...Depressing...

    Angst Ash: Everything's depressing.... Especially the moon... It's half full today...

    [Everyone blinks.]

    Ash: [false cheerfulness] So... How 'bout you tell us something about YOURself? [sweatdrops]

    Angst Ash: I took over the world...

    Evil Ash: Really?! Cool!

    [Everyone stares]

    Evil Ash: I mean, ooooh, that's absolutely _terrible_!

    Angst Ash: I did. Only I changed history. But I'll do it again. I know I'll do it again. I'm getting my power back. I'll do it again and the world will be so dark... [sobs]

    Ash:...Don't you have a choice in any of this?

    Angst Ash: And I have the MEMORIES! [sobs]

    Mrs. Ketchum: Selective inattention. If he realized he had a choice, he wouldn't be 'Angst Ash' anymore, and we aren't allowed to change him.

    Dark Ash: [mutters] Baka.

    Ash:...So... [fake cheerfulness] How about you? [gestures to Hero Ash]

    Hero Ash: Oh, nothing special really. There's a large army trying to take over the world, and me and my friends have to beat 'em. But we'll win! [grins]

    Ash: And you? [points to Master Ash]

    Master Ash: Oh, I'm just the Pokemon Master. The youngest ever, too! I beat Gary, and now I basically rule the world, which can be annoying, but it's okay. Just that I get RECOGNIZED everywhere...

    Ash: Cool!! And you? [points to Stupid Ash]

    Stupid Ash: I catch Pokemon. Pokemon are everything. Pokemon are all that matter. Battling Pokemon is the only thing in the world. I battle Pokemon. Brock says girls are cute. Girls have cooties. And you can't capture them. Misty says she likes me. I don't like anything but Pokemon. She left.

    Ash:... And... You? [pionts at Evil Ash]

    Evil Ash: Oh, I'm just a nice little kid, travelling around and-- Oh, I can't stand it any longer!!! I AM SATAN'S SECOND COUSIN, SENT TO PERSECUTE TEAM ROCKET AND MAKE THEM WRITHE IN PAIN!!! Mua ha ha ha ha ha haaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

    Ash: Er... Okaaaaayyy...

    Mrs. Ketchum: Oh my. Just don't do it in my living room, young man!

    Evil Ash: Whatever, you stupid broad.

    Lovelorn Ash: Did I tell you about my crushes on almost all the gym leaders?

    Angst Ash: All is darkness...

    Dark Ash: Fools, you're all fools...

    Stupid Ash: Where's a Pokemon?

    Master Ash: Oh my god! I'm missing the confrence in Mahogany!

    Hero Ash: Oh no! My friends!

    Angst Ash: What does it matter? What does anything matter?

    Ash: [jumps up and screams] PIKACHUUUU!

    [Pikachu falls onto Ash's shoulder.]

    Ash: Pikachu!! [hugs him]

    Pikachu: Pikapi!!!

    Ash: Pikachu, let's get the unholy crimson heck outta here!

    Evil Ash: It isn't crimson.


    Pikachu: Pii...kaaa...CHUUUU!!

    [The blast sends everyone back to their own universes--the fabric of this reality is quite unstable.]

    Mrs. Ketchum: [calling and waving] Goodbye! See you next year!!

    ~* ~

    I think I have proved my point. ^_^

  • Angst Ash was based on Dragoness's great works. You can find them by rooting around at her website.
  • Dark Ash was based on Ace Sanchez's Pokemon Master. If by some chance you haven't read it, you can find it here.
  • Lovelorn Ash was based on romances in general. But not all of 'em are like that! Thank God! ^_^
  • Stupid Ash was based on 1). Ash/Pokemon haters' fics, and 2). some B- and GAMRN. Though again, this is a stereotype.
  • Evil Ash was based on fics that portray Ash as having no concern for Team Rocket whatsoever and brutally beating them up every chance he gets. That's subject for a whole other page.
  • Hero and Master Ash are even more self-explanatory, I hope.

    Thanks for reading! Hope you had fun, and maybe even saw my point! ^_^