Author’s Notes: Hello all you lovely people! I hereby begin work on my MSTing series. Huzzah! This is just a quick intro to set-up the characters and provide a backstory, more or less. Most of the characters will be mine. I own very little. This is meant as a diversion for me, I am making no profit and mean no harm to people who do own things. Please don’t sue me, I’m a broke college student. And now, onward! Sprites edited, originals shamelessly stolen from www.psyguy.com.

The Characters

Name: Jake Real Name: Emily Saunders Occupation: Proof-reader for the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Life Philosophy: “Sometimes life is just like that.”

Fan character. Inspired by HHGTTG.

Name: Sailor Andromeda Real Name: Astrea Bennet Occupation: Student/Superhero Life Philosophy: “There are astoundingly few absolute truths.”

Fan character. Inspired by Sailor Moon.

Name: Sailor Nutbunny Real Name: uh¼ Sailor Nutbunny, I guess. Occupation: Web page persona. Life Philosophy: “Success through spasticity!”

Fan character. Vaguely influenced by Sailor Moon.

Name: Twinkia Real Name: Twinkia, Goddess of Snack Foods Occupation: Minor Deity Life Philosophy: “You can be a hero without being their kind of hero.”

Fan Character. Inspired by Greco-Roman mythology.

Name: Ford Prefect Real Name: Unpronounceable except in ¼ (ah, if you don’t know this, you won’t get most of what’s going on.) Occupation: Field reporter for The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Life Philosophy: “Always know where your towel is.”

Character from HHGTTG.

Name: BoB Real Name: S.I.R. Unit 003and½ Occupation: Navigation, Maintenance, Entertainment Coordination, etc, etc. Life Philosophy: “I’m gonna hafta take care of that, aren’t I? Thanks a lot, you guys. (grumble grumble, sarcastic comment)”

Fan character. Inspired by Invader Zim

Astrea: (She is 16, about 5 foot 3, with long, wavy, red hair and blue green eyes. She is wearing a burgundy sweater, blue jeans, and black and maroon saddle shoes.) Hello? Is anyone there? (no answer) I guess I’m the first one--

(She is tackled and hugged by a blurry figure.)

B.F.: HI! (The figure resolves itself into Sailor Nutbunny, a girl slightly taller than Astrea, with short, spiky red hair, blue eyes and oblong glasses, wearing a sailor fuku with a chartreuse skirt and collar, sloppily tied blue bows, and red high-top sneakers. On her head are large floppy white rabbit ears.) I’m glad someone else is here; I was getting bored. The others should be here soon!

Twinkia: (enters. She is a taller girl, with light brown hair in a high ponytail and hazel eyes. She wears a flowing white gown, typical of Greco-Roman goddesses. As she walks forward, red sneakers becomes visible under the hem of her gown.) Am I in the right place?

Nutbunny: (nods emphatically, ears flapping)

Twinkia: Oh, good.

(Behind Twinkia enters Jake, a young woman between 25 and 30, wearing thick-soled, round-toed brown shoes, an ankle-length khaki cargo skirt, a white tee-shirt with a Van Gogh sunflower, an unbuttoned red Hawaiian print shirt, and a red baseball cap backwards over her shoulder length sandy hair. Her eyes are a mix of blue and green, he left slightly bluer and the right slightly greener. She carries a ukulele.)

Author’s Voice: (disembodied, hereinafter abbreviated AV, or if I feel like DAV, for disembodied Author voice) Since you’re all here, I guess we can start. The deal is this. You guys get to live on the ship, read things I send you and make fun of them. In return, you stop hassling me about your stories. Deal?

Jake: Can we see what we’re getting into first?

AV: Like a tour of the ship? Sure, good idea. Let’s start right here. (The room brightens) This is-- (AV stops as a small tan robot with purple eyes enters)
BoB: Hey, boss, it looks like we got a hitchhiker, or something.

AV: Really? Who is it?

BoB: Some weird guy with a towel. (Jake grins madly)

AV: Oh, boy. If it’s who I think it is…

Nutbunny: Wouldn’t it have to be? I mean you’re the author.

AV: Shut up. BoB, bring him up here.

(BoB leaves and returns a few minutes later. He is followed by a confused looking Ford Prefect, who is immediately glomped by Jake)

Jake: FOOORRD!

Ford: *strangled “ghack” noises*

Twinkia: Um, Jake? We understand you’re happy to see Ford, but he needs to breathe.

Jake: Oops. ^_^

AV: Ford, since you’re here, you can join us. Now back to the tour. BoB, will you be my Vanna?

BoB: I’m not wearing any dress.

AV: Just point to stuff. Ahem. (as the AV describes things, BoB points them out) This is the Rec Room. In this corner we find the TV with built-in VCR and DVD players and an extensive movie library.

All but BoB: Oooo.

Moving along, we come to the kitchenette, with a well stocked pantry and fridge, filled with your favourite snacks and beverages.

Twinkia: Can I make this a shrine to me?

Nutbunny: (opens fridge and takes out a cherry-cola) YAAAY!

Astrea: Hey, cherry-cola. I want one.

AV: Yeah, ok. Next we find the games area, with pool, foosball, air hockey, and various other… um, things. Over here, we have the bar area.

Ford and Jake: Woohoo!

AV: Only those old to legally drink in there currant place of residence may drink on this ship.

Nutbunny: But…but…21 days, man.

AV: Tough cookies. And finally, we have…the karaoke stage!

Jake: Huzzah!

AV: If you will now follow BoB into the corridor…

Jake: But…karaoke…

Ford:…the bar…

Jake:…the other stuff…

AV: It’ll be there when you get back…If you decide to stay.

Astrea: Are you evil?

(The group exits into a long hallway with doors along the walls.)

AV: Your rooms, if you choose to stay, will be along this hall. The first door on the left is Jake’s room, the first on the right is Ford’s. Next, Astrea’s on the left, Twinkia’s on the right. The third door on the left is Sailor Nutbunny’s, and the rest are guest rooms. You each have your own bathroom, and the rooms are decorated to look like your rooms at home. Next, we will tour the theatre.

(The group walks through a door at the end of the hall and find themselves back in the rec room)

Twinkia: But…how did…

AV: All the doors in the ship lead wherever I want them to.

Twinkia: Ah. Must be nice, omnipotence.

AV: Bite me.

(All walk through a door across the room.)

AV: Ok, now we have a series of 7 doors, one for each of you, and the first and last just for fun. (Door number one is covered by a giant dry erase board. A marker hangs on a string beside it.) Ok, to open this door, someone has to write or draw something funny.

(Sailor Nutbunny grabs the marker and writes “Spork.” The door rises into the ceiling.)

Nutbunny: That was easy.

AV: Yes, very good. (Door number two looks like the door of an apartment. Next to the door is a large potted plant.)

Astrea: Oh, this is mine isn’t it?

AV: Yep. (Astrea takes a key out of the potted plant.)

Astrea: Always keep a spare key in the local foliage. (Opens the door.)

(Door number three: a bank of darkened windows.)

AV: This is an exact replica of the windows of the 13^th floor of the Guide headquarters.

Ford: (glares at the ceiling) I hate you.

AV: No you don’t. ^_^ You have a credit card with you, right?

Ford: (grumbles, but opens the window with a credit card. Everyone clambers through.)

AV: That wasn’t so bad, was it? (Door four is blocked by a massive pile of plushies. Nutbunny dives into them, knocking the pile down, and scoops up dozens.)

Nutbunny: CUUUTE! (All file through, Astrea drags Nutbunny, still cuddling the plushies.)

(The fifth door is guarded by a large golden retriever, who barks loudly and tries to jump on everyone.)

Jake: Colin, you dumb furball, get down! (Colin wags and sits down by the door. Jake looks at the ceiling) Why did you bring my idiot dog into space.

AV: Because I can. (The sixth door is in an abandoned concession stand. As Twinkia enters, everything magically springs back to life. Everyone gathers refreshments and walks on. The seventh door is just a basic movie theatre door. All look at each other, shrug and walk through.)

Astrea: So that’s what we have to do every time?

AV: Unless the doors get bored and decide to move around. Then you’ll do it in a different order. So, this is the theatre in which MSTing will be done. (It’s a smallish movie theatre, with cushy seats and cup holder-armrests.) It’s bigger than we really need, even when you have company, but it was easier to just take an existing theatre and put it in the ship than build a whole new one. The only modification is that we’ve made the seats comfier. Oh, and the dimensional pockets behind the seats.

Ford: What?

AV: It works on the principle of “Hammerspace” which allows anime characters to carry items, particular weapons such as mallets, without having anything to carry them in. You can find anything you might need during a MST, and a lot of stuff you don’t, by rummaging behind the seats. I call it “Closetspace.”

Nutbunny: Cool.

AV: This ends our tour, please proceed to the nearest exit. (All walk through the door, and find themselves, once again, in the rec room.)

Jake: How come we can’t just go in through the door we just came out of?

AV: Because. Anyway, if you choose to stay, you have free run of the ship and all the facilities. I will send fanfics and funny things for you to MST. You have the option of refusing to participate in any MST, or leaving a MST at any time, although I will be deeply hurt and pout for a while. Sometimes I will send guests. If you need anything, you can ask BoB, although he’s not always helpful.

BoB: Yeah, bite me.

AV: So, does anyone want to leave?

Nutbunny: Nuh-uh.

Astrea: No, not really.

Twinkia: No thanks.

Jake: Not a chance.

Ford: I’ll stick around.

AV: Supoib. I’ll send something to MST soon. Have fun.

End of Prologue

Please review.

Do you have a story you’d like MSTed? Send it to the author at ophelialr@hotmail.com.