In the not too distant pa-ast,

Somewhere in space and time

There was a fanfic writer

(Who’s trying to make this rhyme)

And this writer had the awkward luck

Of having characters who ran amok,

So to get some peace around the place

She put them in ship, and she launched them into space. (AV: Pleeaaase, guys!)

“I’ll send them cheesy fanfics,

And other stuff I find,

And they can sit and watch them,

And it’ll keep them occupied.

Keep in mind only I control

Where the fics begin and end

As I protect my precious sanity

From my interfering friends

CHARACTER ROLL CALL!

Nutbunny: I’m BACK! REJOICE!!!

Astrea: Good to see you all again!

Jake: Vacation’s over?

Twinkia: Repeat ad infinitum.

Foooord: How did they convince me to come back?

If “Where’s the ‘bots and Mike (or Joel)?”

Is the question that you ask,

Just keep in mind who’s the writer here

And then get off my back

For Nutbunny Fanfic Theatre 3000 ( kazoo/harmonica/ukulele/lute TWANG)

A.N.: More spam from my inbox. Sorry to keep you waiting so long. I’ve been busy.

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its owner. And so on.

(Scene opens in Rec Room. Everyone is playing Monopoly)

Nutbunny: (playing the hat) …seven, eight, nine and I land on (Kennedy voice) Mahvin Gahdens.

Ford: So you owe me--

AV: (interupting) Hey, it’s MSTing time, everybody.

Nutbunny: When did you buy Marvin Gardens?

Ford: You were getting a drink.

AV: Hey! Don’t ignore the author!

Astrea: Can’t we finish the game, at least?

AV: Are you kidding? That could take hours.

Twinkia: It’s not as long as Risk.

Jake: Nothing takes as long as Risk.

(Everyone meanders into the Theatre)

DOOR SEQUENCE

Door 1: The dry erase board. Jake writes “It‘s a cold day for pontooning.” and it rises.

Door 2: The Bennet’s apartment. Astrea takes the spare key out of the potted plant and opens the door.

Door 3: The darkened windows. Ford grumbles and opens them with a credit card.

Door 4: The giant plushie pile. Nutbunny dives and knocks them down.

Door 5: Colin the dog. Jake yells at him and he sits.

Door 6: The deserted concession stand. Twinkia’s presence brings it back to life and everyone gets snacks and beverages.

Door 7: Basic theatre door. Everyone walks right through, and sits down

(Order l to r: Jake, Ford, Nutbunny, Astrea, Twinkia)

From :

>Jake: Spam again?

>Nutbunny: I’m sure there’s starving children out there who’d appreciate that Spam!

"rachhell"

>Ford: Rach hell? That’s an unpleasant name.

<masterrapper@eudoramail.com>

Reply-To : "rachhell" <masterrapper@eudoramail.com>

Subject : Here is what you wanted

>Nutbunny: What did we want?

>Twinkia: A new blender would be nice.

>Astrea: More movies?

>Jake: Liquor?

>Ford: I second that one.

Date : Thu, 17 Oct 2002 08:49:06 -0700

>Jake: Oh, so it’s OLD Spam. Even better.

Be a Entrepreneur beba_8 ,

>Astrea: I think someone fell asleep on the keyboard.

>Nutbunny: I have Qwertyitis.

Thank you for your interest!

>Jake: (emotional) Sometimes it just seems like nobody cares…(sniffle)

Judgment Courses offers an extensive training

course in "How to Collect Money Judgments".

If you are like many people, you are not even sure what a

Money Judgment is

>Nutbunny: You got that right.

and why processing Money Judgments

can earn you very substantial income.

>Ford: Or, why you sent this.

>Jake: Or how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

>Nutbunny: Or how much wood Chuck Woolery would chuck if Chuck Woolery would chuck wood.

If you ever sue a company or a person and you win then you

will have a Money Judgment against them.

>Twinkia: Oh, well that clears that up.

>Astrea: I feel so enlightened.

You are happy you won but you will soon find out the

shocking fact:

>Nutbunny: Soylent Green is made from people.

"Its now up to you to collect on the

Judgment". The court does not require the loser to pay you.

The court will not even help you.

>Jake: So, the entire legal system is a powerless façade?

You must trace the loser

>Twinkia: Hey, now, let’s not get rude now.

down, find their assets, their employment, bank accounts,

real estate, stocks and bonds, etc.

>Ford: Stalk them mercilessly, without ceasing.

>Nutbunny: To defeat my enemy, I must study my enemy, then move in with my enemy, then wear my enemy’s clothes…

Very few people know how to find these assets or what to do

when they are found.

>Nutbunny: Yes, many people are unable to find their assets with both hands.

The result is that millions of

Judgments are just sitting in files and being forgotten.

"In 79% of the cases the winner of a Judgment never sees a

dime."

>Jake: Shouldn’t a quote have a source?

The non-payment of judicial debt has grown to epidemic

proportions. Right now in the United States there is

between 200 and 300 billion dollars of uncollectedMoney

Judgment debt. For every Judgment that is paid, 5more

Judgments take its place.

We identified this massive market 8 years ago and have

actively pursued Judicial Judgments since. We invented this

business. We have perfected it into a well proven and solid

profession in which only a select few will be trained in the

techniques necessary to succeed.

>Twinkia: Such as the nineteen year old college student you sent this to.

With our first hand experience we have built a course which

teaches you how to start your business in this new unknown

and exciting field of processing Money Judgments.

By following the steps laid out in our course and with

reasonable effort you can become very successful in the

processing of Money Judgments.

The income potential is substantial in this profession. We

have associates who have taken our course and are now

working full time making $96,000.00 to over $200,000.00 per

year.

>Jake: At different jobs entirely.

Part time associates are earning between $24,000.00

and $100,000.00 per year. Some choose to operateout of

their home and work by themselves. Others build a sizable

organization of 15 to 25 people in attractive business

offices.

Today our company and our associates have over 126

million dollars in Money Judgments that we are currently

processing. Of this 126 million, 25 million is in the form

of joint ventures between our firm and our associates.

Joint ventures are where we make our money. We only break

even when our course is purchased.

>Ford: Of course you do. SURE.

We make a 12% margin on

the reports we supply to our associates. Our reporting

capability is so extensive that government agencies, police

officers, attorneys, credit agencies etc., all come to us

for reports.

>Nutbunny: Yes, the government which supposedly has secret plans to brainwash us all, and the credit card companies which watch every penny we spend, get information from a company that sends spam adds to recruit new workers.

Many of our associates already have real estate liens in

force of between 5 million to over 15 million dollars.

Legally this means that when the properties are sold or

refinanced our associate must be paid off. The norm is 10%

interest compounded annually on unpaid Money Judgments.

Annual interest on 5 million at 10% translates to

$500,000.00 annually in interest income, not counting the

payment of the principal.

Our associates earn half of this amount or $250,000.00 per

year. This is just for interest, not counting principle

and not counting the compounding of the interest which can

add substantial additional income. Typically companies are

sold for 10 times earnings. Just based on simple interest

an associate with 5 million in real estate liens could sell

their business for approximately 2.5 million dollars.

92% of all of our associates work out of their home; 43%

are women and 36% are part time .

>Jake: 74% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

>Nutbunny: 90% of everything is crud.

One of the benefits of working in this field is that you are

not under any kind of time frame. If you decide to take off

for a month on vacation then go. The Judgments you are

working on will be there when you return. The Judgments

are still in force, they do not disappear.

The way we train you is non-confrontational. You use your

computer and telephone to do most of the processing. You

never confront the debtor. The debtor doesn't know who you

are. You are not a collection agency.

>Twinkia: Well, no you aren’t an *agency*. An agency implies many people. At best, one person would be a collection agent.

Simply stated the steps to successful Money Processing

are as follows:

>Astrea: Send five dollars to the address at the top of the list.

>Jake: Lather, rinse, repeat.

>Nutbunny: Wax on, wax off.

Mail our recommended letter to companies and individuals

with Money Judgments. (We train you how to find out who

to write to)

8% to 11% of the firms and people you write will call you

and ask for your help. They call you, you don't call them

unless you want to.

You send them an agreement (supplied in the course) to

sign which splits every dollar you collect 50% to you and

50% to them. This applies no matter if the judgment is for

$2,000.00 or $2,000,000.00.

>Ford: Of course, if they get the money themselves, they keep it all.

You then go on-line to our computers to find the debtor

and their assets. We offer over 120 powerful reports to

assist you. They range from credit reports from all three

credit bureaus, to bank account locates, employment

locates, skip traces and locating stocks and bonds, etc.

The prices of our reports are very low. Typically 1/2 to

1/3 of what other firms charge. For example we charge

$6.00 for an individuals credit report when some other

companies charge $25.00.

>Nutbunny: Um, aren’t their all kinds of Privacy laws that would make this difficult?

Once you find the debtor and their assets you file

garnishments and liens on the assets you have located.

(Standard fill in the blanks forms are included in the

course)

>Ford: This sounds like it gives you everything you need to commit credit fraud.

When you receive the assets you keep 50% and send 50% to

the original Judgment holder.

>Jake: Or, don’t tell them and keep it all.

Once the Judgment is fully paid you mail a Satisfaction of

Judgment to the court. (Included in the course)

Quote's from several of our students:

>Jake: GAH!

Thomas in area code 516 writes us: "I just wanted to drop

you a short note thanking you for your excellent course. My

first week, part time, will net me 3,700.00 dollars .Your

professionalism in both the manual and your support.

You have the video opened doors for me in the future.

There's no stopping me now. Recently Thomas states

he has over $8,500,000 worth of judgments he is working on"

>Jake: That is perhaps the worst testimonial ever.

After only having this course for four months, Larry S. in

area code 314 stated to us: "I am now making $2,000.00 per

week and expect this to grow to twice this amountwithin the

next year. I am having a ball. I have over $250,000 in

judgments I am collecting on now"

After having our course for 7 months Larry S. in 314 stated

"I am now making $12,000.00 per month and have approximately

$500,000.00 in judgments I am collecting on. Looks like I

will have to hire someone to help out"

>Nutbunny: They had to use the same guy twice?

Marshal in area code 407 states to us "I feel bad, you only

charged me $259.00 for this course and it is a goldmine. I

have added 3 full time people to help me after only having

your course for 5 months"

>Ford: That’s help him do things like get dressed, eat, and that. It ate his brain.

From the above information and actual results you can see

why we can state the following:

With our course you can own your own successful business.

A business which earns you substantial income now and one

which could be sold in 3-5 years, paying you enough to

retire on and travel the world.

>Astrea: Yes, why take on a career and dedicate your life to something when you can suck the life blood of others and retire to Tahiti!

A business which is

extremely interesting to be in. A Business in which every

day is new and exciting.

None of your days will be hum-drum. Your brain is

Challenged. A business, which protects you from Corporate

Downsizing. A business which you can start part time from

your home and later, if you so desire, you can work in full

time. A business, which is your ticket to freedom from

others telling you what to do. A business, which lets you

control your own destiny.

>Jake: A business that can’t afford to proofread.

Our training has made this happen

for many others already. Make it happen for you!

>All: Conform…conform…

If the above sounds interesting to you then its time for you

to talk to a real live human being,

>Astrea: As opposed to a dead or artificial human being?

no cost or obligation

on your part.

Please call us at 1-281-500-4018.

We have Service Support staff available to you from 8:00am to

10:00pm (Central Time) 7 days a week. If you callthis number

you can talk to one of our experienced Customer Support personnel.

They can answer any questions you may have - with no obligation.

>Jake: Is your refrigerator running?

>Nutbunny: Can I buy your soul?

>Astrea: Who did write the book of love?

Sometimes we run special pricing on our courses and combinations

of courses. When you call our Customer Support line they can let

you know of any specials we may be running. If you like what you

read and hear about our courses, then the Customer Support person

can work with you to place your order. We are very low key. We

merely give you the facts and you can then decide if you want to

work with us or not.

Thank you for your time and interest.

+++++

This ad is produced and sent out by:

UAS

To be omitted from our mailing list please email us at lourdes125@brutes.com with omit in the sub-line.

or write us at:AdminScript-Update, P O B 1 2 0 0, O r a n g e s t a d, A r u b a

++++++

T048 7-9 C1P

Typ tipo Ansteuerung (MAR; # Schiff) localización (# barco)

abhängen colgar (al teléfono)

>Astrea: Fell asleep on the keyboard again, eh?

(all exit. Scene opens in the Rec Room)

Jake: Ok, back to the game. Whose turn is it?

Nutbunny: I just went, so it’s Astrea’s.

(Astrea rolls and moves her token, the dog)

Ford: Hey, wait a second…

End