In the not too distant pa-ast,

Somewhere in space and time

There was a fanfic writer

(Who’s trying to make this rhyme)

And this writer had the awkward luck

Of having characters who ran amok,

So to get some peace around the place

She put them in ship, and she launched them into space. (AV: Pleeaaase, guys!)

“I’ll send them cheesy fanfics,

And other stuff I find,

And they can sit and watch them,

And it’ll keep them occupied.

Keep in mind only I control

Where the fics begin and end

As I protect my precious sanity

From my interfering friends

CHARACTER ROLL CALL!

Nutbunny: I’m BACK! REJOICE!!!

Astrea: Good to see you all again!

Jake: Vacation’s over?

Twinkia: Repeat ad infinitum.

Foooord: How did they convince me to come back?

If “Where’s the ‘bots and Mike (or Joel)?”

Is the question that you ask,

Just keep in mind who’s the writer here

And then get off my back

For Nutbunny Fanfic Theatre 3000 ( kazoo/harmonica/ukulele/lute TWANG)

AN: Hey, sorry I missed last week, but I exceeded my bandwidth quota and got kicked off the Internet, . But Now I’m back, and I’ve got a heapin’ helpin’ of… SPAM-MAIL! Cry Huzzah!

Further Note: I had most of this done Saturday night, but couldn’t think of a good ending, and then slacked off, resulting this episode being a week and a half late, instead of a week. Why? BECAUSE I SUCK!

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its original creator or copyright holder. Yes.

(Scene opens in the kitchenette. Nutbunny is making a sandwich and singing to herself)

Nutbunny: (singing, badly) Hm hm hm, makin’ a sammich, hm hm hm, makin’ a sammich. Hm hm hm, puttin’ ham on my sammich, hm hm hm, puttin’ ham on my sammich. Oooh sammich, how you are tasty, oooh, sammich how you are yummy. Da da da, cheese on my sammich, da da da, cheese on my sammich. Da da da, mayo on my sammich, da da da, mayo on my sammich. I like sammiches for lunch or for dinner. Sammich, sammich, you are a winner. (humming, puts the top on the sandwich, cuts it in half, and gathers up the ingredients) Put these back in the fridge. (opens the fridge so that she is hidden by the door. Ford enters, sees the sandwich, looks around. Seeing no one around, Ford picks up the sandwich)

Nutbunny: (still behind door, singing) La la la, PUT DOWN MY SAMMICH. La la la, PUT DOWN MY SAMMICH. (Ford puts down the sandwich and leaves quickly. Nutbunny closes the fridge) Sammich thieves.

AV: Okay, everybody, it’s MSTing time!

DOOR SEQUENCE

Door 1: The dry erase board. Nutbunny writes “What’s brown and sticky? A stick.” and it rises.

Door 2: The Bennet’s apartment. Astrea takes the spare key out of the potted plant and opens the door.

Door 3: The darkened windows. Ford grumbles and opens them with a credit card.

Door 4: The giant plushie pile. Nutbunny dives and knocks them down.

Door 5: Colin the dog. Jake yells at him and he sits.

Door 6: The deserted concession stand. Twinkia’s presence brings it back to life and everyone gets snacks and beverages.

Door 7: Basic theatre door. Everyone walks right through, and sits down

(Seating order: Astrea, Twinkia, Jake, Ford, Nutbunny with sandwich)

Nutbunny: Mmmm, sammichy.

You Don't Know Me, I Realize

>Astrea: So why did you send me this?

... But I Want You To Have This Before It's Too Late...

Twinkia: Oh of course, I always worry about getting things to total strangers in time.

>Jake: Too late… TOO LATE! Turn back!

29 Year Old College Drop Out, On The Brink Of Financial Ruin,

>Ford: -gets an unfulfilling job at a photohut to pay the bills.

Uncovers Secret Money System That Rakes In $55,247.25 In One Month...

>Nutbunny: It was under a rock.

And now you can do the same...

>Twinkia: How can I uncover something that’s already been found?

Click Here For Federally Documented Proof

>Nutbunny: And what exactly does the “Federal Documentation” consist of?

>Ford: Yep, all this stuff’s written down. It’s documented.

Dear Lauren

>AV: Don’t call me dear, I’ve never met you!

They laughed

>Nutbunny: Oh, how they laughed. They said I was mad. MAD! But it is they who are mad, and I who shall laugh!

when I started my home based Internet Business but when I made $55,247.25 in one month…

>Astrea: -they continued to laugh, because I was wearing my bunny slippers at the bank again.

You're about to discover how a total “Internet Dummy“ went from being dead-broke to raking in over $55,247.25 in a single month...

>Twinkia: Selling kidneys?

>Ford: Porn?

and you're going to see Federally documented proof

>Jake: Because we trust the government so implicitly.

that you can do it too

This highly limited information is available on a first come-first serve basis.

>Astrea: So we’re sending it out in a mass-mailing!

Click here right now so you don't miss out!

>Ford: No, thanks. I’d rather not.

Click Here For Instant Info

>Ford: I said NO! What’s wrong with you people?

>AV: Ok. Next one.

Peace of Mind for Parents. Cool for Kids.

>Twinkia: Mutually exclusive properties.

Determine your child's location in minutes - using YOUR computer!

>Astrea: What child? I don’t have kids.

>Nutbunny: Me neither.

>Twinkia: Nope.

>Jake: No kids. No plans at this time.

>Ford: No.

>AV: I don’t have kids either, and it’s my email.

GPS Personal Locator helps keep loved ones safe by combining patented technology with the US. Department of Defense's multi-billion dollar Global Positioning System (GPS) satellites plus the largest 100% digital, nationwide PCS wireless network.

>Ford: Ooo, what impressive technology you have! I bet you’ve even been to the MOON!

>Nutbunny: Whatever happened to the old fashioned “Tell me where you’re going and call if you go someplace else.”?

>Twinkia: It’s not expensive enough.

Have peace of mind 24 hours a day while your child is the high tech envy of the neighborhood!

>Astrea: Or viscously taunted for wearing a geeky locator device.

What about Teenage Drivers?

>Jake: What about them?

Drivers age 16-22 are involved in more accidents & vehicle fatalities than all other age groups combined.

>Nutbunny: Ga-Hasp! I almost care!

With a tracking system from GPS North America you will know exactly how the vehicle your teenager is driving is being used.

>Twinkia: No, you’ll just know where it is. You won’t know they’re goofing around, paying more attention to the radio that the road, heck, unless the system’s really good you won’t even be sure they’re on the road…

>AV: Uh… yeah… (exit theatre)

(Open in Rec Room. Everyone is just hanging out, except for Nutbunny, who is working energetically at a computer which has appeared from somewhere.)

Astrea: Anything good on TV?

Twinkia: (with TV guide) Uh… not much… oh, wait. There’s a really bad Godzilla movie.

Ford: Oh, the wonders of “guy in a rubber suit” technology.

Astrea: And don’t forget the terrible, terrible dubbing.

Twinkia: Fun all round.

Jake: Nutbunny, what are you doing?

Nutbunny: I am starting an Internet Business even though I am an “Internet Dummy.”

Jake: Um, ok. So what does your “business” do, exactly?

Nutbunny: I compose emails telling people that I went from flat broke to making a large and oddly precise amount of money in a month. Then I send it to thousands of people.

Jake: And how exactly does that make you any money?

Nutbunny: It’s not always about the money, Jake.

END